The Self-Help ‘Genre’

DEALING WITH POST-COVID SOCIAL ANXIETY AS A UNIVERSITY STUDENT

Charlotte T o w n E l e n a Chiujdia

It is safe to say that Covid has changed the lives of everybody in some way or another. It brought stress, separation and loneliness; even now, as the buzz of university life begins on campus, with the reintroduction of face-to-face seminars and lectures, the effects Covid has had on people’s mental health is prevalent. To many people, this sudden loss of society was crushing, but some, who have had the joys of experiencing social anxiety, can confess guiltily celebrating in secret when the nation was told to stay inside. No more unwanted interactions with work or school colleagues, hiding half our faces behind a piece of cloth and so much free time. Time to rest, to pick up a new hobby and time to just be alone. Although solitude can have its negative aspects, having time alone to oneself can also be freeing. It felt good to stop caring about how you present yourself to society and to truly focus on yourself. But now with Covid restrictions disappearing all together, how do we go back to socializing ‘normally?’ With the world rebooting, post-covid social anxiety is seen occurring in both students and lecturers alike. Two years of mainly communicating online and being confined to a small ‘bubble’ of people and now lectures are back! A room full of students, sat closely next to each other (the two-meter rule long gone) with one person addressing so many. Freshers’ week and the student union back and running, meaning students are supposed to make as many friends

Image: Roman Wimmers via Unsplash as possible in one week, or the rest of their university social life is forever at stake? This mission is difficult for the majority to take on, but mix in a pandemic, which encouraged isolation and social distancing and see how easy that makes it. So how do we navigate these issues? Joining societies? Taking part in sports? Forcing ourselves to make small talk as we try and navigate around a newly busy campus? Yes – all these points can help, but the best angle is, to take it slow and practice being patient with ourselves. Something the pandemic bought to light, which we can all benefit from, is that as a nation, we all need to slow down. Life moves so fast and the constant rhythmic hum of general life can stunt us from taking part in things that really matter. Social interactions, starting new friendships and human connection, which are all key factors of life. Without them a person can struggle with university life. Therefore, taking a slow approach to reintroducing ourselves into a life of socialising is the best thing to do and feeling nervous about a social situation – even if it is just going to a seminar, or the Packhorse with your friends – is nothing to be ashamed of! Celebrate your small successes and remember this time a couple of years ago we were barely leaving our homes… unless it was to fight over toilet paper in our local supermarkets.

Fresh Out of the Campus Bubble

September brings students – be they returning or new – back on campus. The past 2 years put a strain on the university experience; you were being talked at, through a screen, instead of to, in a lecture theatre. So, not only do returning students need to readjust to the idea of this ‘in person routine’, but they are just now going through the freshers’ experience. On top of it, they’re hijacked by second- and third-year responsibilities. Take looking for a house. You move away from home for the first time and two months in, after meeting this mass of new people, there is this expectation to turn strangers into the best of friends. Funny how this timeline is supposed to somehow give you enough time to budget for a prospective place to rent, choose good housemates, yet make sure no one feels left out. Who are we kidding? We’re all still teenagers putting on the mask of an adult who knows what they’re doing. That ‘adult’ is still homesick for mum’s food, childish arguments and is most likely going through their third breakdown of the day. The horror stories following these housing pressures often lead to people dropping out of contracts, living with people they know they won’t get along with in the long run, or choosing to commute from home. If you’re lucky, you end up living with people who become your best friends. Key word, ‘luck’. Shows like ‘Friends’ or ‘How I Met Your Mother’ are out there for 2 reasons: relatable but idealistic. If older students are good for one thing, it’s advice. The other side of housing can also turn into a nightmare. A nightmare that you might have to go through once or twice before learning how to stand on your own two feet. Student housing equals being scammed, nightmare neighbours, uncooperative housemates, parties, and fines (just to name a few!). Saving up, finding a stable job, being able to pay rent from your own pocket are far into the future. House-sharing just paves the way for that hopeful independence. Now let’s say you managed to ‘adult’ for longer than 24 hours. The house for your second year is picked and the people you will live with are somewhat decent flatmates. But there is more to growing up than just a house. The ‘campus bubble’ meant not caring about bills too much. Now, inflation prices bring a whole new level to the stress of our finances, so budgeting is harder than it should be. Middle aged adults with children and full-time jobs struggle with it so in that sense, we’re all doing great I guess? The campus comfort and pandemic made staying in your flat necessary. Being scared to go to societies or campus activities was allowed. No one goes to them. Or so you thought. You are in your 20s, maybe getting back after a gap year and you don’t know what you’re doing. Finding hobbies and making friends feels silly when the idea of a full-time job or masters hangs over your head. But relying on people is a must at University. You are in the same boat, helping each other row it forward. If friendships do fall out – which let’s be honest, happens – it is probably for your own good. Half of the people you meet in freshers week are people you won’t meet again. Over these three years, people’s priorities change. The only problem with ending relationships is the safety net they offered you in the first place. You fall in and out of love faster than you can imagine, you get drunk, you sleep in, most days surviving on takeout. The only thing to remember is to do everything with the right people, those who laugh at your drunk self, but take care of you in the end. At the base of it all, we are all ‘fresh adults’, not knowing what to do next. But not knowing is the beauty of it, freaking you out yet being quietly freeing. University is this bubble that slowly waits to burst when we go into the real world, preparing us for a fall that will probably be followed by tons of others, and success sprinkled in there somewhere too. This is just a taste of the real world that awaits. As ‘Friends’ would put it, ‘Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You’re going to love it!’