"We are the weirdos, mister"

Dear Davidson,

"Dear Davidson, I am a new RHUL Fresher and although I am really enjoying my course and think this university was the best choice for me, I am really struggling with the social side here. I am not really fitting in with my flatmates and barely talk to people in my course, therefore so far this hasn’t been the experience I had anticipated, which feels especially strange because I am usually a very outgoing person. Going on social media I watch my old friends from home seem to be having an amazing time and I find myself becoming jealous of ‘what could have been’. Whilst it sounds dramatic I am starting to feel like I am the problem, since everyone else seems to be having so much fun and are at such ease."

Being a fresher is such a weird time of your life. As I read your letter I remember my own experience and - trust me - it was very similar. I would hate to say right now that ‘I know what you are feeling’ because it doesn’t change your situation one bit, however, it is a reminder that a lot of people have this exact first year experience and you should never feel like you are the problem. Everyone always talks about university being the best time of your life, especially during the first year when you don’t really need to worry about your studies affecting your final degree, but loneliness at university is rarely discussed as much. The irony is, most people will be feeling the same way you are, hence why this discussion needs to be had. Now, prepare yourself, because what I am about to suggest is the most textbook piece of advice out there, which is to go out and join a society. Whether it is a society that centers around a particular interest of yours, or perhaps just links nicely to your degree, this is a great way to meet like minded people who I can guarantee are also looking to make new connections. Whilst it’s important to try and put yourself out there when you are feeling this way, it is also equally important to remember that leaving home is an incredibly daunting adjustment, and there is no shame in taking time to go home and see the people you feel most comfortable around, whether that may be family or friends. Sometimes having this time will make you more confident to find these comforts at university, and when you are in halls, remember to do the things that remind you of home. It is definitely not dramatic to think you are the problem, but you do have to remind yourself that this certainly isn’t the case. This first term is especially hard, simply because being at university is such a new experience. Once you find a routine and surround yourself with people whose company you enjoy, it will begin to feel more like home. The longer you spend here the more chances you will have to make those friends you feel you need to truly enjoy university life.

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Inexpertly set by the Editorial Team

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