How to Make Sure
Teenagers Hear You
by Cheryl Maguire
T
he moment my voice emits sound I can see my twin teens’ eyes glaze over. Sometimes they must register at least one word I said (or maybe it’s just a Pavlovian response) because they use the dreaded eye-roll. As a parent of a teenager, it can feel frustrating when you are speaking only to realize your teen isn’t listening to you. Experts agree it is important to have a strong relationship with your teenager which involves communication. “An important predictor of how well your teen will listen to you is the strength of your
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relationship with them. The amount of time we spend building a relationship without expectations will increase the likelihood that they will listen,” said Dr. Mona Delahooke, pediatric psychologist, and author of, Beyond Behaviors: Using Brain Science and Compassion to Understand and Solve Children’s Behavioral Challenges. According to the experts some ways you can make sure teenagers hear you are: Connect Before You Direct Dr. Laura Markham, clinical psychologist
and author of, Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting, suggested that parents should notice what their teen is doing or find some other way to make a warm connection before speaking to them. She also recommended sitting next to teenagers instead of yelling across the room, “Please clean your room.” Listen If you want teenagers to listen to you then you must also listen to them. Make sure when you listen to them that they feel understood.
