Finding the Parents

Last time we explained that in the sad case of baby Sofia, born to a couple who are not her genetic parents, even if the father or mother were disqualified from marrying due to their halachic status, this would not disadvantage the child. Based on this we claimed that there is no need to continue to find the genetic parents.

However, we could make a different claim, that a person is obligated to know who their parents are. The verse (Bemidbar 1:18) instructs Moshe to “gather together the entire congregation on the first day of the second month and they will bear children by their families according to the houses of their fathers”. Rashi explains that Moshe was able to count them and gather them by family since “each one brought the record of their lineage and witnesses of their birth in order to prove their connection with their tribe.”

Rabbi Yitzchak Zilberstein (Chishukei Chemed, Eruvin 73a) was asked by a young woman who was adopted whether she should search for her biological parents. Even though she has immense gratitude to the wonderful couple who adopted her, she still feels a need to find out who her biological parents were.

Rabbi Zilberstein thought that she should look for them, based on the above verse and Rashi’s explanation. A person should know which “tribe” they belong to, where they came from and who their parents are. He asked his late brother-in-law, Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky, who disagreed.

Rabbi Kanievsky explained Rashi a little differently; there is no obligation on a person to know exactly which tribe they emanate from, indeed, today, except for Leviim and Cohanim, no one knows the identity of their tribe. Rather, a person needs to know that their parents are Jewish and their halachic status.

If the adopted woman knows that her parents were Jewish and there is no halachic barrier to her marrying a Jew this is sufficient. There is no halachic reason to know the exact identity of her parents.

In another discussion (ibid. Berachot 35b), Rabbi Zilberstein suggests that a person must find out who their parents are in order to fulfill the obligations of honoring one’s parents. But the late Rabbi Steinman disagreed, and explained that since the mitzvah of honoring one’s parents is so difficult to keep one is not obligated to go out of their way to find out who their biological parents are.

In the case of baby Sofia, since we are not concerned that her parents’ status will impact her ability to marry, it appears that there is no obligation to continue to search for her biological parents.

More on this next time.