2.5.18- Fourth Estate

F URTH ESTATE Feb. 5, 2018 Volume 5 Issue 13

GEORGE MASON UNIVERSITY'S STUDENT NEWSPAPER

@ivestate | gmufourthestate.com

WHY PARKING IS STILL A PROBLEM

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Students still struggle with expensive on-campus parking amidst major building overhauls

LIFESTYLE

NEWS State Senate Considers New Marijuana Decriminalization Bill

Inside the inner workings of Mason’s latest meme page: GMU Memes for Koch Brother Teens

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LIFESTYLE

OPINIONS A closer look at the four-year tradition: Winter Olympics, The Quadrennial Oddity

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Happy Homecoming Week! Be on the lookout for for these upcoming events

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FOURTH ESTATE

2.5.2018

We are always recruiting volunteers for: - NEWS WRITERS - LIFESTYLE WRITERS - SPORTS WRITERS - COPY EDITORS - PHOTOGRAPHERS

For all inquiries, please email a resume and two clips (or visual samples) to: masonfourthestate@gmail.com AND apply online at http://c2ms.info/osmapply

GMUFOURTHESTATE.COM @IVESTATE

Fareeha Rehman Sosan Malik Co-Editors-in-Chief

Katya Beisel Copy Chief

Michael Eberhart News Editor

Alex Shedd News Assistant Editor

Dinanda Pramesti Lifestyle Editor

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR Co-Editor-in-Chief Sosan Malik

Co-Editor-in-Chief Fareeha Rehman

Yesterday was superbowl sunday. Although I may not know much about football, I do love the hype that comes every year with this special sunday.

Families and friends join together with face paint, sporting jerseys of their favorite team and the aroma of warm pizza and doritos hangs in the air. As the excitement of the super bowl comes to a close, I would like to mention some other activities the student body can look forward to this week.

Basma Humadi Lifestyle Assistant Editor

Jamie Beliveau Opinions Editor

Catherine McKay Online Editor

Billy Ferguson Art Director

Allie Thompson Photo Editor

Let the fun times begin! Yes, that’s right, you no longer have to count down. Homecoming week has arrived. Patriots can look forward to an array of fun-filled events listed on page 10. Speaking of Patriots, Fourth Estate would love to know who you rooted for yesterday night! Please tweet us about your #superbowl2k18 experience @IVEstate.

News Editor Michael Eberhart

News Asst. Editor Alex Shedd

Lifestyle Editor Dinanda Pramesti

As students get into the rhythm of their class schedules this week and seek to join student organizations, I encourage them to join student media.

Beginning your journey in student media today will help you progress professionally and will enrich your college experience. Many of our staff members will be graduating in May and our group’s desire is that the students coming after us continue our Fourth Estate legacy.

Emmett Smith Distribution Manager

Kathryn Mangus Director

David Carroll Associate Director

Jason Hartsel Assistant Director

Jessica Smith Business Office Manager

Sosan Malik Lifestyle Asst. Editor Basma Humadi

Opinions Editor Jamie Beliveau

Copy Chief Katya Beisel

Co Editor-in-Chief ____________________________________________________________ CORRECTIONS: On page 3: The College of Health and Human services was attributed as CHSS rather than the correct acronym CHHS.

Art Director Billy Ferguson

Photo Editor Allie Thompson

George Mason University Mail stop 2C5 4400 University Drive Fairfax, Va. 22030 Phone 703-993-2950

Online Editor Catherine McKay

On page 4: Headline should have said “Virginia General Assembly Considers Bills Pitched by Mason Students.” The General Assembly was incorrectly labeled as “senate” and “state congress.” A quote for clarification was added for the status of Danielle Melton’s bill HB 272.

Fourth Estate is printed each Monday for George Mason University and its surrounding Fairfax community.

The editors of Fourth Estate have exclusive authority over the content that is published.

There are no outside parties that play a role in the newspaper’s content, and should there be a question or complaint regarding this policy, the Editor-in-Chief should be notified at the email provided.

Fourth Estate is a free publication, limit one copy per person. Additional copies are 25 cents payable to the Office of Student Media.

COVER PHOTO CREDITS Photo courtesy of Cruz Sanchez Masthead Basketball Fourth Estate/ Mary Jane DeCarlo News Senate bill courtesy of Getty Images Lifestyle Edd meme courtesy of Jay Wilson Opinions Olympic rings Fourth Estate/ Mary Jane DeCarlo Lifestyle Homecoming courtesy of George Mason Alumni Association

NEWS

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STATE SENATOR PUSHES FOR MARIJUANA DECRIMINALIZATION

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TIM KAINE HOSTS PUBLIC Q&A WITH VOTERS Senator met with constituents as part of 2018 reelection campaign MICHAEL EBERHART NEWS EDITOR

A bill in state legislature introduces relaxed punishment for first-time offenders

Senator Tommy Norment (R-James City) presented a bill to the State Senate on Jan. 19, which would reduce the penalty for possession of marijuana to a fine of no more than $500 and would allow for the possibility of forgiveness for first-time offenders.

Senate bill 954, if passed, would take effect on New Year’s Day, 2019. It has gained significant traction in the senate so far. The bill passed through the courts of justice committee from its date of introduction through Jan. 29. It has now been sent to the senate finance committee for consideration.

According to a Richmond TimesDispatch article published on Jan. 29, some voices on the left are skeptical of Norment’s bill.

“It’s the illusion of progress,” said Claire Guthrie Gastañaga, executive director of the Virginia ACLU. She adds that people may be unable to afford the proposed $500 expungement fee.

Photo courtesy of GETTY IMAGES

Gastañaga supported another bill, introduced by Senator Adam Ebbin (D-Alexandria), which died in committee on Monday. Ebbin’s bill proposed changing the levels of severity for possession of small amounts of marijuana from a criminal misdemeanor to a civil penalty. The fine for the civil penalty would have been $50 for first-time offenders and could go up to $250 for third and

subsequent offenses.

The Times-Dispatch also asserted that Norment’s stance on the issue of decriminalization has reversed, and that “he changed his mind because a decriminalization bill would not survive House committee.” Senator Norment’s office disputed this characterization of his position as “inaccurate” in a phone call with Fourth Estate.

According to the bill summary, “current law provides that the possession of marijuana may be punished by confinement in jail for not more than 30 days and subject to a fine of not more than $500.”

Every year, the Mason office of Student Financial Aid sends a memo to all students detailing a policy that students convicted of “an offense under any federal or state law involving the possession or sale of a controlled substance” will become ineligible for federal financial aid for a varying period of time, “in accordance with Federal regulations.”

Alternately, convicted students can complete a “qualified drug rehabilitation program,” which involves two random drug tests and requires qualification to receive federal funds from a government agency or program, an insurance company, or a hospital.

If Norment’s bill or a similar bill is passed, it may not have major implications for Mason’s policy towards controlled substances. But it will be another step in the shift toward widespread marijuana decriminalization.

Senator Tim Kaine hosted a “Community Conversation” event to answer questions from his Virginia constituents on Thursday, Feb. 1, in the Dr. A.J. Ferlazzo gymnasium in Woodbridge.

Opening with a reading of “I, Too,” a poem by Langston Hughes, Kaine was then introduced by members of the Virginia Democratic Black Caucus.

Eschewing the microphone stand that was set up for him, Kaine stepped up to the audience to speak about his work in the senate and his reelection campaign for 2018, before taking questions from voters.

Kaine began by noting that February is Black History Month, and explained that the recognition and celebration of African-American history is also central to “the roots of diversity” in Virginia, going back to the first English colony at Jamestown.

“We may have all come on different ships, but we’re in the same boat now,” Kaine said, quoting Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. The senator then answered audience questions about topics ranging from the recent federal government shutdown to immigration reform.

Continuing his theme of diversity, Kaine noted that Virginia is home to 13,000 “Dreamers,” and described the upcoming expiration of DACA protections in March as an opportunity to enshrine those protections into law. Kaine explained that doing so would prevent presidential executive orders from reversing those protections in the future.

Many other questions from the audience related to allegations of Russian interference in the 2016

presidential election. Kaine first pointed out that he is the only current member of the senate with a child in the military. He explained that his own son, a Marine, had recently deployed to Russia’s borders as part of defensive agreements with other NATO countries. Kaine said that this had made him particularly concerned about Russian aggression around the world, but also illustrated why it is necessary for Robert Mueller’s special counsel investigation to finish before policymakers draw their own conclusions.

candidates in Virginia will be hosting more events with potential voters in the months ahead. Kaine is running unopposed in the Democratic primary, but the Republican nomination is a five-way race between frontrunner Corey Stewart, E.W. Jackson, state delegate Nick Freitas (R-30th), Ivan Raiklin and Ron Wallace.

The final questions of the night were all related to healthcare expansion, and led to some tension in the crowd.

Kaine said that he supported the “Medicare X” bill -- which he introduced with Sen. Michael Bennet (D-CO) in Oct. 2017 -- instead of Sen. Bernie Sanders’s (I-VT) “Medicare for All” proposal, because an estimated 100 million Americans already have health insurance through their employer, and 80 percent have reported that they would not want to change to a single payer plan. This provoked an angry outburst from one young man in the crowd, who interrupted the senator’s response.

“He is lying,” the man said, but soon allowed Kaine to respond. The senator explained that his proposal would be more incremental and pragmatic than Sen. Sanders’s bill, but that he believed either would be preferable to the Republican alternatives.

With the 2018 midterm race already well underway, other senate

FOURTH ESTATE/MICHAEL EBERHART

A state senator has introduced a new bill to the state legislature that would relax certain parts of the laws for marijuana-related offenses.

FOURTH ESTATE/MICHAEL EBERHART

ALEXANDER SHEDD NEWS ASSISTANT EDITOR

NEWS

GMUFOURTHESTATE.COM @IVESTATE

Photo courtesy of CRUZ SANCHEZ

2.5.2018

Photo courtesy of CRUZ SANCHEZ

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WHY PARKING IS STILL A PROBLEM

A closer look at the parking budget and how construction affects students ABIGAIL ADCOX STAFF WRITER

Why does it cost so much to park at Mason, and why is it so hard to find a spot?

The Fairfax campus has a total of 11,691 parking spaces, but finding one during peak class times can be challenging. Junior Rylee Quinn said that she arrives to campus 20-25 minutes before her classes start to find a parking spot.

“During the fall semester, I arrived to campus early as usual and couldn’t find any parking,” Quinn said. “I ended up having to pay to park in a parking garage and I was still 15 minutes late to class. I shouldn’t have to pay to park when I pay over $400 a school year for a parking pass.”

Parking at Mason can be tricky, even with a parking pass. Roughly half of Mason’s almost 35,000 students buy a parking permit each semester, explained Josh Cantor, director of parking and transportation. About two-thirds of the school’s more than 5,500 employees also have permits, while only about one-third of residential students buy parking permits, according to Cantor.

Even with the additional 1,139 spaces at Mason’s Arlington campus, and 2,094 spots at the science and technology campus in Prince William County, that leaves a deficit of approximately 6,200 parking spaces compared to the total number of permits sold each

semester.

How much of your money is going towards parking services at Mason?

One common misconception among students is that their tuition fees help pay for parking. In reality, parking and transportation is a self-funded auxiliary that receives no tuition dollars or general funds. This means that nearly all revenue is generated from a combination of parking permits and student fees-- an average of $88 per student.

According to the parking and transportation budget published in Aug. 2015, an estimated $9.9 million in revenue is made annually from permit fees.

Visitor fees accounted for an additional $3.1 million in revenue, and citations

made up a relatively small portion of the budget at $700,000.

Student fees and a portion of permit revenues do support transportation costs, which are now up to $5 million, according to Cantor. That figure includes $3.8 million for shuttle operations and a $750,000 subsidy to the city of Fairfax for students and employees to ride the CUE bus for free.

The largest budget increase comes from parking maintenance costs, Cantor explained, which “increased from $500,000 annually to $2 million, as we are spending more on garage and lot maintenance…. Most of the other expenses, including debt services, are roughly the same.”

Photo courtesy of CRUZ SANCHEZ

Mason students pay a slightly higher rate for parking passes compared to other Virginia Universities. Mason students pay $390-$450 for general parking, depending on if the student is a commuter or resident. Reserved lots cost $500-$575 a year and parking garages are the priciest at $450-$675 a year.

On the cheaper end of the spectrum, Old Dominion Univer sity’s students pay between $248-$306 yearly for general parking. Virginia Commonwealth University charges the most for parking, with students paying $320-$700 yearly just for general parking.

Although the newly opened Peterson Hall took the place of the former Lot H, Cantor explained that this change was taken into consideration as part of the initial planning process a decade ago.

“Rappahannock River Deck opened in 2009 to absorb the loss of Lot H and handle future growth,” he wrote in an email to Fourth Estate. Still, “many parking spaces have been lost for building construction.”

According to Cantor, the primary goal for parking services now is to maximize the use of existing parking space and reduce the number of single-occupant vehicles on campus. “[We] will be considering building more parking in the future as supply is near capacity at peak times at Fairfax Campus,” he added.

Finding parking at Mason isn’t expected to get better anytime soon with the ongoing construction. Lane closures will continue for the next six to eight weeks, Monday through Friday from 9:30 a.m. to 3 p.m., according to a traffic advisory from the parking and transportation office. Delays are expected if leaving school via Campus Drive or Braddock Road, and students are advised to arrive to campus early -- not an easy task for those who have an 8 a.m. class.

NEWS

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2.5.2018

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MEDICAL AMNESTY PROGRAM OFFERS STUDENTS SECOND CHANCES The Office of Student Conduct offers help in emergencies Photo courtesy of EVAN CANTWELL/CREATIVE SERVICES

ISABELLA LAMAGDELEINE STAFF WRITER

The medical amnesty program offered at Mason through the Office of Student Conduct is designed to ensure that all students can receive medical care if they become dangerously intoxicated.

“First and foremost, we want to keep our community safe,” said Brian Cozby, Mason’s assistant chief of police. “We want our students to feel safe, and we want the students to feel if they make a mistake, it’s not going to ruin their entire career.”

MASON SCIENTISTS DEVELOP TECH TO SAVE LIVES New tuberculosis test could “help millions of people worldwide OLIVIA BOOTH STAFF WRITER

According to statistics from the World Health Organization (WHO), 10.4 million people became ill with TB and 1.7 million TB patients died in 2016.

However, the deaths are not due to ineffective medication. Most patients with TB can be cured with modern medicines that are provided soon after diagnosis and taken properly, according to the WHO. It is when patients are not diagnosed early enough that TB spreads and becomes much more difficult to treat.

The new diagnosing method could help with this. The technology can measure a type of sugar -- the leukocyte adhesion molecule (LAM) -- which lays on the surface of the tuberculosis bacteria. The new noninvasive test works by sampling a patient’s urine.

“We showed that our technology could be used to measure several different kinds of markers for TB in the urine, and could be configured as a rapid test similar to a pregnancy test,” said Luchini. She explained that the markers can help specifically in both

“designing better therapy and overcoming drug resistance.”

Many diagnostic tests before were expensive, invasive, and, above all, inaccurate. A New York Times article about the research declared that the group has “improved by at least 100 times the accuracy of testing for a sugar shed by tuberculosis bacteria.”

Luchini herself claims that “a direct test in urine might help millions of people worldwide.”

“If a student finds themselves in a situation, or they find a friend in a situation, that they have had too much alcohol, and they are in fear of what may happen to them, that we believe

Once they call for assistance, students are required to stay where they are and wait for emergency services to arrive. All students are expected to fully cooperate with first responders by providing as much information as possible about the incident. After the students have been taken care of, and the medical emergency is resolved, a member of the Office of Student Conduct and the student involved will meet to discuss the incident.

During this time, it will be determined whether or not they can apply for medical amnesty. To qualify, the student must have requested medical attention during an emergency by reporting the incident proactively and not once emergency services have already arrived. Students must also agree to complete any educational requirements that are made in a recommended timeframe. They may also be referred to other Mason services for continued assistance.

Students who call on behalf of another student or act as witnesses are not restricted in how many times they can use the program, but those who are referred themselves for a first-time medical emergency may use medical amnesty once during their time at Mason. Medical amnesty applies to situations involving alcohol and other drug-related violations of the student code of conduct, whether they occur on or off campus. The program only applies to the university, and is separate from any legal consequences brought by law enforcement.

“The safety of our students is our primary concern,” said Brent Ericson, director of student conduct. “Students should be empowered to seek assistance for their fellow Patriots if someone is in a medical emergency.”

If you need to use the medical amnesty program, call 911 or contact Mason police at (703) 993-2810.

Questions about the medical amnesty program can be directed to the Office of Student Conduct at 703-993-6209.

The students will head to Peru for a year to validate their test on more than 1,000 patients. Additionally, the technology will be used “to discover a large number of new markers that were not known before,” according to Luchini.

Ceres Nanosciences, the company that enables the new tests, “are working with a number of industry partners who have strong interest in improved TB testing, and this could help accelerate the delivery of new methods to patients,” Luchini added.

The implications for the research could extend far beyond tuberculosis testing.

“Since we show that our test worked for known TB test, we now want to use it to discover wholly new molecules shed by the TB organism that were not known before,” Luchini said. “This can give us all sorts of new ideas of what the bacterium is doing in the human body.”

FOURTH ESTATE/BILLY FERGUSON

Professors Alessandra Luchini and Lance Liotta led Mason students Marissa Howard, Sarah Sharif, and Sameen Yusuf, as well as students from Johns Hopkins, Peru, and Italy to create an inexpensive and noninvasive way to test for tuberculosis (TB). The new technology could be life changing for tuberculosis patients.

If a student gets drunk and needs medical assistance, then they or someone on their behalf can call campus police to get emergency help. All students at the university are allowed to take part in the policy, regardless of whether or not they are legally of age to consume or possess alcohol.

it’s most important to get these people some help,” said Cozby.

LIFESTYLE

GMUFOURTHESTATE.COM @IVESTATE

FOURTH ESTATE/CAT TONG

2.5.2018

FOURTH ESTATE/CAT TONG

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RESTAURANT REVIEW: MAGNOLIA DESSERT BAR & COFFEE A sweet addition to Vienna CAT TONG STAFF WRITER

Located on the outskirts of Vienna, Magnolia Dessert Bar & Coffee – opened in early Dec. 2017, has become the town’s newest attraction.

Rising in popularity among instagrammers and foodies, Magnolia is a trendy place to satisfy your most savory or sweet cravings.

FOURTH ESTATE/CAT TONG

Don’t be fooled by the name, Magnolia “Dessert Bar”, also has its bountiful selection of Thai favorites such as chicken satay, Gai Grob Green Curry, Khao Mok Gai (“chicken” in Thai), and a wide range of rice/ noodle dishes. The star of Magnolia’s menu is their honey toast, available in pocky strawberry, nutella lover, honey

cream, and green tea. The dessert’s base consists of toasted bread with a crispy exterior but warm and buttery center.

It is dripping with an indulgent layer of cream in the flavor of your choice, then garnished with an assortment of toppings from French macarons to fresh fruit, crunchy cookies, and served with a side of ice cream.

The best part about this scrumptious dessert is that it is big enough to share with a group of two to three people.

Aside from their famous honey toast, Magnolia also offers a variety of other desserts such as their shaved ice “Bing Bing” with fresh fruit toppings, waffle delights, or the renowned traditional

mango sticky rice.

Magnolia’s interior design embodies a rich, opulent and European flair. A retro candy shop-style bar is situated in the store front, with classic golden statement columns. It is an assortment of your typical hipster coffee shop and baroque style, popular in the 17th and 18th century. Magnolia showcases its appreciation for art through its display of several classic pieces of art along their walls including the Mona Lisa by Leonardo da Vinci, Girl with A Pearl Earring by Johannes Vermeer, and The Son of Man by René Magritte.

Guests can truly appreciate the highly enthusiastic staff, who strive to make the guests’ experience their number one priority, offering the best service. The waitress recommended the “Matcha ‘Bout You” honey toast and the blue hawaii sparkling drink. Each had their own distinct character, full of flavor and exotic tastes complemented by an eye-catching presentation, as you will find in many of the other dishes they have.

Although the parking lot is small, you’re in for a treat, as Magnolia provides an enchanting ambiance and a spacious room with two stories for dining. An ideal location for afternoon tea lovers, Magnolia Dessert Bar & Coffee is a great location for study dates or dessert seekers.

LIFESTYLE

GMUFOURTHESTATE.COM @IVESTATE

2.5.2018

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DRESSING FOR CAMPUS COMFORT: COMMUTER EDITION FOURTH ESTATE/MARY JANE DECARLO

Planning ahead is a vital part of commuter students’ style BRIA LLOYD CONTRIBUTOR

After being stuck in Northern Virginia traffic for 45 minutes, you finally arrive to campus. You soon remember that today’s forecast calls for rain and you did not dress for the occasion. As a commuter, you must be prepared for all types of weather because unlike on-campus students, you do not have the luxury of running back to your dorm to change.

According to U.S. News and World Report, Mason is known for having a large commuter population where 75 percent of the students live off campus. Mason has several diverse student groups with a wide array of styles. While no one student’s style is the same, what commuter students have in common is the need to be dressed for anything.

Some commuter students may find it convenient to keep their cars stashed with clothing items in case there is an abrupt change in weather.

“I have found that the weather changes throughout the day and I either become too hot or too cold. At times, my car has become a wardrobe.

It can be frustrating when I need a clothing item and it is not there,” said Sophomore Nathaniel Sposit. Students who do not have a car and may come to campus via bus or metro have even greater difficulty finding a place to store extra clothes.

Other commuter students believe that it is not so difficult to be prepared for unpredictable weather.

“I personally don’t think it’s more difficult to be prepared for weather in comparison to students living on campus. I’ve been commuting for a few

years now and I’ve learned that I don’t have the same accessibility as on campus students to a change of clothes,” said senior Zabina Srey.

Commuters deal with trial and error when it comes to figuring out what works best for them.

Instead of coming to campus underprepared, a student may find that it is helpful to wear extra layers that can easily be stripped off throughout the day if they find them unnecessary, rather than not having the extra layers when they need them.

Versatility is a very important component of commuter fashion. A commuter must not only be prepared for class, but also for other events they have to attend throughout the day.

“I like to wear a pair of vans to class because they are comfortable for walking around. As a commuter, you always need to come prepared. I usually have to come to campus dressed for activities after class since I don’t have time to change,” said senior Sydney Peterson.

While it might take a little extra time for commuters to plan ahead, these preparations are necessary for long-lasting comfort while on campus.

Being a commuter has its pros and cons. One may not realize how much of an effect small style choices will have on a commuter’s day. This is an example that demonstrates the importance of fashion in our everyday lives. Even though we might not be hitting the runway anytime soon, it is important that we come to class comfortable so we can hit the books.

NIC’S FLICKS

Tips to win an Oscar bet NIC MACOTTO STAFF WRITER

The Academy Awards are coming and so are the parties. Some years ago, a friend of mine described to me what an Academy Award party was like and she summarized the event in three words: food, drinks, bets. With regard to the bets portion, she stated that people bet on who they think will win. Even Jack Black publicly said he bets on Pixar every time it is nominated for Best Animated Feature.

As someone who has been paying attention to the Oscars for the past five years, has noticed trends and has done research in terms of knowing who won in particular categories in certain years, here are some tips to win some Oscar bets, or easy money in this case, if attending an Oscar party.

Let’s start with Best Visual Effects, as it is the last category when listed alphabetically. If one of the nominees is nominated for Best Picture, it will win. That has happened from the 81st ceremony to the 86th ceremony.

81st - “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” 82nd - “Avatar” 83rd - “Inception” 84th - “Hugo” 85th - “Life of Pi”

FOURTH ESTATE/BRIA LLOYD

86th - “Gravity” For the 87th however, it went to “Interstellar”, which did not receive a Best Picture nomination. One could guess whichever film received the most acclaim in that category will win, but it was up against other films that received more praise. It is also imperative to consider the filmmaker’s reputation. Either one of those two aspects should be put into consideration.

To find out a film’s critical acclaim, check its score on Rotten Tomatoes.

Next: Best Makeup & Hairstyling. The same method for deducing the winner for Visual

Effects can be applied here. This year boasts some very impressive nominees for their work.

Simply look at Rotten Tomatoes again to see which nominated film was lauded more.

However, this trend is not as evident as Best Visual Effects. This category is harder to figure out, so go with your gut if in doubt.

Also, look at pictures from the film, especially before/after ones regarding the actors, and make your decision then.

For Best Original Song, my research helped me notice that as long as all the nominated songs are performed, whichever is performed last at the ceremony will win. Placing a bet this time is harder since no one knows the order of the performances beforehand, but if you can make a bet while the last song is being played - there are five of them - you’ll be all set.

Now, for Animated Feature, always go with Disney. Last year, “Zootopia” won against “Kubo and the Two Strings”, a movie that was also nominated for Best Visual Effects while “Zootopia” was nominated only for Animated Feature. If you go with Pixar, it’s the same as going for Disney.

As for the acting categories, I hear it’s a safe bet to look at who won at the Screen Actors Guild (SAG) ceremony. Research from media outlets states they mostly win the Oscar in that category. On the contrary, sometimes they are wrong. Last year, for instance, Denzel Washington won the SAG for Best Actor while Casey Affleck won the Oscar in that same category.

Lastly, the smartest way to determine who wins Best Picture is to take a look at which feature won at the Golden Globes. This year, “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri” won Motion Picture - Drama while “Lady Bird” won Motion Picture - Comedy. This narrows it down to two films who are neck-inneck with each other. Even though anything can happen, this is a good way to approach it.

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LIFESTYLE

2.5.2018

GMUFOURTHESTATE.COM @IVESTATE

FACES OF MASON delves into the lives of Mason students, faculty or alumni, and organizations every week. This week, we take a close look at Mason student Hadiyyah Abdul-Jalaal, Mason alum Ryan Thorton, and Caribbean Student Association (CSA). If you know of a Mason student, faculty member, alumnus or alumna, or organization that would like to be featured on FACES OF MASON please submit your request via: https://goo.gl/HZ4SMd INTERVIEWS BY HAILEY BULLIS, BASMA HUMADI, AND HUONG CAO

FOURTH ESTATE/ALLIE THOMPSON

STUDENT Hadiyyah Abdul-Jalaal

interest…”

What clubs are you involved in?

What are your responsibilities?

“I’m involved with the student government, and in that I am the student faculty liaison, but I’m also in club softball and I am a Mason Ambassador”

“I have to attend faculty-senate meetings, that’s only once a month but they’re about two hours so that’s not bad and other than that I have to take notes, give it back to the Senate and then and apply anything, like if we have events, and make that all go around.”

How did you become the student faculty liaison?

“So, they had positions open at the beginning of the year, and I had missed one of the positions as I was newly appointed but then he had resigned so then the Speaker of the House was like ‘Oh you wanted to do it, so you can do it.’ So basically, it was just showing

You are in recreational softball?

What do you do?

“For that, it’s really fun. Last season we didn’t have a lot of games but the games I did play it was mostly outfield, even though I played shortstop or catcher.

It’s really where they needed me since they have a lot of upperclassmen.”

How did you become a Mason Ambassador?

“I actually got an email over the summer, right before coming to Mason and they were like, ‘Oh with all your extracurriculars you’ll be perfect to do this!’ and I kind of did something like Mason Ambassadors at my high school and so I was like ‘okay’.”

doing would have to be club softball.

Just because I’m used to practicing everyday, but we don’t practice everyday so it’s nice just to get out of my routine, even though I do love senate, I do love ambassadors, but after just like hitting balls in the batting cage that’s a real nice steam off from like school and everything.”

What’s your favorite thing to do out of the three?

“That’s a hard one, because they’re all very different. I would say the one that feels like something I’m used to

FA C U LT Y / S TA F F / A L U M Ryan Thorton

Photo courtesy of RYAN THORTON

What is your most proud achievement?

My proudest achievement while at Mason was co-founding Roosevelt @ Mason, a progressive student policy and group. Roosevelt @ Mason was intended as an opportunity for students to get involved at every level of the policy-making process, from writing to advocating. I remain incredibly proud of the impact the organization has and

how much the membership has grown over the last few years.

If you could go back in time to your first day of college and tell yourself one thing, what would it be?

If I could go back to my first day of college, I’d tell myself how important it is to get involved in all of the different activities, clubs, and opportunities that Mason offers. The experiences I had and the people I met through

extracurricular involvement led to some of my most treasured memories at Mason and taught me a lot of soft skills that are harder to come by in the classroom.

think through that framework so that I don’t lose sight of the big picture, even when small things pop up or get in the way.

What advice from a family member has resonated with you the most?

Advice that has resonated the most with me is to not sweat the small things -so much comes up in a day, a week, or a year and it’s always been helpful to

O R G A N I Z AT I O N Caribbean Student Association

FOURTH ESTATE/ALLIE THOMPSON

Why did you feel interested in being a part of CSA? My dad is Trinidad-Chinese so I had the opportunity to visit Trinidad three times. I [felt] I belonged and [wanted] to know more about my heritage.

Why did you decide to be the president of CSA? In my sophomore year at Mason, I went to an event of CSA and loved it. The president back then, Rayben, asked if anyone felt interest in being

on the executive board and I said yes.

They asked for my resume and next week, I became an intern who provided assistance to other board members.

Last April, I said yes again when the board asked if anyone wanted to be the president.

What is your signature event?

Bacchanal. It is an event where you could enjoy seeing great costume, big parades, fun music. Before Bacchanal, we also have a workshop where everyone gathers and make costumes.

How is CSA doing?

What are the challenges of being a president?

Currently, we have 25 dedicated members who always attend events.

Every member is a part of the CSA family. It is like a second home. We even go out with each other.

It is definitely time management. I have to figure out how to communicate with everyone and understand everyone as individuals.

Do you have any requirements for someone to get involved with CSA? You don’t have to be Caribbean to join. We have five or six people who come from American culture. They do not have to have a Caribbean heritage but [can be] interested in Caribbean culture, which is enough!

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MASON THEMED MEME GROUP ‘GMU MEMES FOR KOCH BROTHER TEENS‛ TAKING CAMPUS

BY STORM

MITCHELL WESTALL CONTRIBUTOR

Memes courtesy of JAY WILSON

On the page’s success, they said, “I knew this would be something a good amount of the student body would enjoy and [it] still hasn’t reached its peak yet.”

As for the name “GMU memes for Koch Brother Teens”, the creator said that most meme pages are named “something memes for something teens [and] clearly these are GMU memes, and the Koch Brother teens part was something I felt fit in with the tongue and cheek names that other college meme pages [have].”

Jay Wilson, a junior computer science major, got involved with the page soon after it was first created. “[The group] just popped up on my [Facebook] sidebar one day and then I just joined.” At the time, the group only had a hundred or so members and after posting a few things, he was made a moderator by the group’s creator, which came as a surprise to him.

Memes courtesy of JAY WILSON

According to the group’s creator, Jay Wilson’s popularity on the page is what

has surprised him the most. Now that the group has over 1600 members and counting, that popularity is bound to spill over into the Mason community.

Wilson said, “I have been recognized a few times in person, and I have made a few friends from it.” He continued, “I’ve been in Fenwick [library] at two a.m., and people have been ‘hey are you Jay from GMU memes?’ and I’m like oh that’s me!”

Wilson says that it is fun to be seen as a human meme by the random people recognizing him around campus.

He shared a story about a time when he was in his dorm on campus when somebody knocked. When he answered, the girl who knocked asked, “Are you the guy from GMU memes?”

He responded with, “Oh… uh… yeah!” with his roommates laughing in the background.

At first, he was slightly worried it was someone who saw his name on the door and hoped it was him, but he was relieved to find that she was just a neighbor who needed to borrow some printer paper. Of course, he obliged.

As a regular posting member, the biggest surprise to me, however, is that the pages’ members, admins and moderators have kept the page free of politics as well as offensive memes that

can plague some meme pages.

Due to Mason’s proximity to Washington, D.C., it seems as though nobody can hide from current events and political discourse. Unless, they seek refuge in GMU Memes for Koch Brother Teens.

The closest that the group ever came to political discourse was when a student posted a link to a quiz that would show you where you would land on a political compass. His intention was to make a scatter plot of all responses to show where most Mason students would land.

There were more than 100 comments from people with all sorts of political views, yet there wasn’t a single argument or debate.

According to Wilson, if anyone posts anything that is intended to harass or create civil unrest, the team of admins are usually swift to take it down and let the person that posted it know that they won’t allow that kind of content on their page.

As for the future of GMU Memes for Koch Brother Teens, Wilson hinted at a few things he’s working on, including a real cryptocurrency and potentially some stickers or other small merchandise to give out to people.

Memes courtesy of JAY WILSON

Since its creation in the beginning of May 2017, the Facebook group GMU Memes for Koch Brother Teens has quickly become a staple of Mason culture. This comes as no surprise to the creator of the page, who requested to have his name withheld.

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RECAP: THE 60th ANNUAL GRAMMY AWARDS ICYMI: Read a run-down of the 2018 Grammys ANGELIQUE ARINTOK STAFF WRITER

Photo courtesy of GEORGE MASON ALUMNI ASSOCIATION

Amid the star-studded performances, Corden inserted a pre-recorded segment featuring Cardi B, DJ Khaled and Hillary Clinton auditioning as spoken word artists reading from Michael Wolff ’s “Fire and Fury.” The controversial new book centers on Donald Trump.

Although the show did not feature P!nk performing in mid-air or the infamous exchange between Taylor Swift and Kanye, artists such as Bruno Mars and Kendrick Lamar took center stage.

Mars won album of the year and record of the year for “24K Magic,” as well as song of the year for ‘That’s What I Like.’ Mars beat out fan-favorites such as Jay-Z, Childish Gambino, and Kendrick Lamar.

HOMECOMING IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER, SOME EVENT SNAPSHOTS: MICHAEL ABLER STAFF WRITER

Starting on Tuesday Feb. 6, (or 8 depending on some GMU Website sources) Mason will partake in Homecoming 2018. From Feb. 6-10 Mason will play host to many different fun filled activities for everybody. The week will provide chances for former and current students to come together to celebrate being a Patriot, along with the faculty members of our school. Throughout the week there’ll be various events to celebrate the occasion, such as the ‘Homecoming Hustle’ where the Dewberry Hall will play host to live performances and the unveiling of the top ten candidates for Mason Majesty, a blood drive, and lastly a Homecoming Block party on Saturday afternoon, and many more events happen in between.

The highlight of the week is a performance by the Cold War Kids at the Center for the Arts on Thursday Feb. 8, at 7:30, with the show itself starting at 8 p.m. The concert is set to last from that night into the small hours of the following morning - definitely not something you’d want to miss if you’re on-campus or live nearby.

Aside from the events that are more focused on the current students, there also some fun events for those that are alumnis of Mason. Alumni

who are returning for the occasion can partake in a few local events with friends and family as they reminisce about their time at Mason and see how much things have changed since they graduated.

Some of the Alumni events include Beer Tasting, and a home basketball game against George Washington University with discounted tickets.

The number of Mason alumni has risen to more than 100,000 in the D.C. area. To learn more about these alumni events, visit http://alumni. gmu.edu/homecoming18. Mason has been heavily represented in the local.

The rest of these activities, including the beer tasting, also include an indoor and outdoor tailgate on Saturday Feb. 10. The indoor event will occur in the Johnson Center at Dewberry Hall, while the outdoor event will take place in Parking Lot K outside of Eagle Bank Arena.

There will also be a regional happy hour at an undetermined place next Thursday the Feb. 8.

So regardless of whether or not you’re currently enrolled at Mason, or you were a student here once upon a time, be sure to join the fun. Mason is home to everybody, especially its students.

Kendrick Lamar, however, also had a night of recognition. Lamar took home best rap album for ‘Damn,’ best rap song and best rap performance for ‘HUMBLE.,’ as well as best rap/sung performance for ‘Loyalty,’ featuring Rihanna.

Awards were also presented to ‘Scars to Your Beautiful’ and ‘Here’ singer Alessia Cara for best new artist of the year,

and Dave Chappelle for best comedy album with his Netflix special “The Age Of Spin & Deep In The Heart Of Texas.”

Artists like Sam Smith, Luis Fonsi, Daddy Yankee, Bruno Mars, and Cardi B also performed. A heartfelt performance of P!nk’s ‘Wild Hearts Can’t Be Broken,’ was simple, yet demonstrative of her raw talent and passion.

Shortly thereafter, DJ Khaled, Rihanna, and Bryson Tiller performed their summer hit ‘Wild Thoughts,’ against a tropical background and colorful lights.

Kesha also made her comeback to the Grammys after an eight year absence with an emotional rendition ‘Praying,’ as she featured solidarity among singers like Camila Cabello, Cyndi Lauper, and Andra Day on the stage. Kesha’s conceptualization of ‘Praying,’ was incredibly reflective of her personal hardships in recent years.

In light of Logic’s dedication in raising awareness to mental health and suicide prevention, the show ended with him, Khalid, and Alessia Cara in a symbolic performance of ‘1-800273-8255.’ Aside from the awareness Logic conveys, he brought a political message at the end of his performance in proclaiming “bring us your tired, your poor, and immigrant who seeks refuge, for together we can build not just a better country, but a world that is destined to be united.”

The performances, numerous awards, and even a camera shot of Blue Ivy parents Beyoncé and Jay-Z established the 2018 Grammy Awards as one with significant moments and heartfelt messages to viewers watching at home.

FOURTH ESTATE/ALLY MCALPINE

The 60th Annual Grammy Awards took place at Madison Square Garden in New York City on Sunday night. This year’s broadcast of the awards show was surely a memorable night in the music and entertainment industry. Carpool karaoke entertainer, James Corden of “The Late Late Show,” hosted the Grammy Awards for the second year in a row.

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UBEREATS VS TAPINGO Mason chooses its favorite delivery app AHMED FARID STAFF WRITER

Many companies have created applications for customers to order food online. UberEats and Tapingo are two of these companies. Founded in 2014 and 2012 respectively, these two companies are now dominate the app delivery business. Even though these two companies run similar businesses, there are important differences between the two that had us wondering which of these two Mason prefers?

The most important difference between the two is that Tapingo serves college campuses only whereas UberEats serves you wherever you are, so Patriots who live off campus cannot use Tapingo at their homes. This is something that gives UberEats an advantage for some people.

Sophomore Woon Gi says he prefers to use UberEats even while on campus because he is used to using the app,

because Tapingo doesn’t deliver to his home. UberEats also guarantees delivery in 30 minute or less.

Still, despite this, Tapingo does hold the edge for people. Sophomore Michael Nguyen says that even though he lives off campus he still uses Tapingo while at school. However, he doesn’t use their delivery. Instead, he uses the app to order online and pick up his food at the store without having to waste time waiting in line.

“I don’t really need someone to bring me my food while I am on campus,” says Michael “but it does help not having to waste my time waiting in line for food.”

On the other hand, some of Tapingo’s other users who have utilized Tapingo’s delivery had their complaints. With more people using the app delivery has become slower and since often it would be faster to simply pick up your order instead of waiting for it to come, especially if you are on a tight schedule.

While both apps are extremely helpful for Patriots who are working against the clock or just don’t feel like walking in the rain (or snow for that matter), they both still have a long way to go to completely satisfy the needs of the customers hungrily waiting for their food to be brought to their doorstep.

Photo courtesy of MASON ATHLETICS

Until recently, you could not enjoy a delicious Big Mac sandwich with a large order of fries while sitting at home in the comfort of your pajamas and binge watching your favorite Netflix series. However, thanks to the magic of the internet, companies finally realized that we, the hardworking people, need our food brought to us without having to get out of bed and enduring the cold winter weather.

“THE SKY’S THE LIMIT” FOR NICOLE CARDANO-HILLARY

Mason freshman has been already named A-10 Rookie of the Week five times.

NATALIE HEAVREN STAFF WRITER

FOURTH ESTATE/BILLY FERGUSON

Nicole Cardaño-Hillary, a native of Madrid, Spain, has been around basketball longer than she can remember. Her mother, Erin Hillary, played while the family still lived in Spain and Cardaño-Hillary began playing when she was in third grade.

Growing up, she looked up to her mom. Though she only coached Cardaño-Hillary’s AAU team for one year, her mom was still influential in her basketball career.

Cardaño-Hillary is one of four freshmen on the Mason Women’s Basketball team and has been contributing since she first set foot on the court. In her first game in green and gold, she scored 22 points, had two assists and three steals in 32 minutes against a ranked Michigan team. She hasn’t slowed down since.

She has started every game this season, though looking at her play you’d never know that wasn’t the original game plan. Head Coach Nyla Milleson touched upon the fact that this starting role wasn’t supposed to start so soon.

“She got thrown into the fire to be a starting point guard with the injury of Alexsis Grate,” said Milleson. “So we’ve put a lot of pressure on her on both ends of the floor, but I think she has performed very well.”

Performing very well is an understatement -- Cardaño-Hillary has been named Atlantic 10 Rookie of the Week five times so far this season. This is in part due to the fact she is the top scorer in the conference, averaging 18.2 points per game. Her success hasn’t been stagnant either, as Coach Milleson pointed out.

“I think if you’ll compare her conference numbers to her non-conference numbers her turnovers are down, her assists are up, her steals are up,” explained Milleson. “So I think the growth is not only showing to a naked eye particularly game in and game out but I think from a statistical standpoint too.”

Despite her individual success, she is still humble. According to Coach Milleson,“you would never know off

the floor she’s our leading scorer.”

Her humility carries on in both her individual goals and the goals she has for her team. Cardaño-Hillary explains that she wants to be “a solid, poised teammate, player, and a consistent person all around.”

“Just to be consistent, because we don’t want to be one of those teams that was just a one-year thing,” said CardañoHillary. “You know to keep it up and show that this program is actually good and we’re getting better as time goes on. And I feel like if we keep it up that would be the biggest accomplishment.”

The best advice she’s received is simple.

“Honestly, to have fun. Because this sport is very consuming, and even more now that we’re in college,” said Cardaño-Hillary. “I’ve always been told I play my best when I’ve having fun.”

Having fun has gotten her this far, and can certainly take her further. As Coach Milleson said, “the sky’s the limit.”

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OPINIONS

2.5.2018

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Opinions do not reflect the views of Fourth Estate. Submit opinions to jbelive2@gmu.edu

WHAT DOES THE ‘P’ IN EPA STAND FOR NOWADAYS? CHRIS KERNAN-SCHMIDT COLUMNIST

illegal, they highlight a dramatic and dangerous shift from the agency’s core values.

It is clear the EPA is undergoing a regulatory capture, “[a process in which] public interest agencies that come to be controlled by the industry they were charged with regulating” (Investopedia). Much of the current EPA leadership are strong-willed in their fight against the agency they are serving.

For example, Nancy Beck, Deputy Administrator of the Office of Chemical Safety and Pollution Prevention, previously served in a top

position in the American Chemistry Council (ACC). The lobbyist group ACC has been looking out for the interests of major oil, gas, and agricultural companies for years and it seems that now the ACC has a direct route to key policymaking decisions effecting their clients. It is a scary and dangerous situation when the companies that the EPA is designed to regulate begin to infest the leadership of the agency.

Regulating polluters and protecting the environment are not only critical to the future success of the United States, but the human race as a whole. While the United States may have been only one country out of many fighting for the health of our planet, our removal of domestic regulations and withdrawal from international agreements sends a message that we no longer find climate change prevention a serious issue. Countries that look up to the United States may follow suit and begin to humor the notion that environmental

SPRING BASEBALL PREVIEW A look at the Patriots’ roster going into the new season HOGAN LEPORE COLUMNIST

Mason Baseball announced incoming freshman/transfer acquisitions for the upcoming 2018 season during the fall semester.

With the spring season right around the corner, head baseball coach Bill Brown has strengthened his roster to make a run to the NCAA tournament in 2018.

Last season, the Patriots held a 26-33 record (13-11 Atlantic 10 record) while having a 9-20 record at home and a 14-8 record on the road. It’s fair to say they were more comfortable away from Spuhler Field.

As a team, Mason had a .249 batting average, an on base percentage of .349 and a slugging percentage of .375 in 2017.

Coach Brown and his recruiting staff concentrated on reeling in pitching for the upcoming season as seven of the eight recruits brought in pitched in high school. This can be accredited to the

absence of Tyler Zombro, who was the ace for Mason’s staff last year, posting a 2.78 ERA in 103.2 innings of work, and the hole left by 2017 senior Brock Hunter, who ate up a

While these numbers seem average, in his 36th season as Mason’s head coach, Brown knew this staff needed to get better.

good amount of innings last year.

• Tommy Bradley - 6’5”, 205lbs.

- RHP

The good news for Mason is that Brian Marconi, junior, will look to be the Friday starter for Coach Brown, as Marconi pitched 80 innings, creating a 5.06 ERA last season. Marconi will definitely look to improve that stat in the spring.

Other notable pitchers returning to the rotation include two juniors, Zach Mort and Bryce Nightengale (redshirt).

Mort logged the most innings (86.2) and strikeouts (68) of any returning pitcher on Mason’s roster.

Mason’s staff as a whole earned an ERA of 4.70, an opponent batting average of .276 and gave up 561 hits in 522.2 innings of work last season.

Enter new recruits.

• Daniel Brooks - 5’11”, 175lbs.

- RHP/SS • Austin Cabone - 6’0”, 160lbs.- RHP • Ryan Miles - 6’1”, 180lbs. - RHP • Scott Morgan - 6’2”, 205lbs. - OF • Mason O’Mara - 6’3”, 205lbs.

- RHP • James Price - 5’11”, 165lbs. - RHP • Michael Yuille - 6’3”, 210lbs. - INF/ RHP Of all these names, there are a couple to keep an eye on.

James Price played at Patriot High

protections are not that important.

Much like the United States, these countries will opt for short-term monetary gain rather than lookout for long-term health of its citizens.

There is a lot wrong with the EPA and President Trump’s toxic fight against the agency, but like most bad situations, there is a silver lining. A majority of Americans, more than 50 percent according to a recent study by Yale, believe that climate change is caused mostly by humans. According to the research this is the highest percentage since 2008. This is positive news. While our current leaders may vehemently deny climate change, the majority of people who are responsible for voting them in do not.

Climate change may not be at the top of your list of policy issues, but I think it should be important to consider a candidate’s stance on the issue. It is ignorant and dangerous for someone in a position of power to ignore scientific evidence in pursuit of monetary gain. You as a voter can help change who is in charge of these momentous decisions. Like most policy issues, it boils down to getting yourself and your friends out there on election days (local, state and national) and voting.

School. The Bristow, VA native was selected first team All-Cedar Run District, first team All-Region and first team All-Met. The freshman was named Conference 8 Pitcher of the Year and was a member of the Virginia All-State Team during in high school as well.

Price topped out at 87 mph during his senior season. Mix in some off-speed, change up sitting at 75 mph and a curve, and you got a young talent that can develop into a great pitcher down the road.

To speculate, coach Brown could use Price in the rotation immediately, throwing the freshman into action as soon as possible to help better improve that rotation. Or the tenured coach could ease Price into a starting spot by sending him to the bullpen and having him pitch a few innings in relief. My feeling is that Price will go to the pen and get some relief innings under his belt to start, to help ensure his velocity and command, and to get him some confidence in his first ever collegiate action. Obviously, Price will not come into February as the Friday starter, but

HAVE AN OPINION? submit it to:

OPINIONS jbelive@gmu.edu If you feel strongly about environmental protection, lobbying or helping others get out and vote, consider joining some of the great clubs we have here at Mason. Green Patriots and Virginia Student Environmental Coalition are two great organizations promoting sustainability and environmental activism. Also visit Mason’s Office of Sustainability (green.gmu. edu) to learn more about what you can do! getting into that rotation as the season continues will certainly be attainable for the freshman.

Another name to remember is Austin Cabone. The graduate from Frank W. High School attained many accolades during his time with the Falcons, including being named 2017 6A Conference Player of the Year, along with being crowned the 6A Virginia State Player of the Year.

Cabone tops out at 88 mph on his fastball, while his changeup can sit at 73 mph. The incoming freshman also adds a curveball to his repertoire, just as another off-speed pitch to deceive batters.

Mason has definitely changed up their rotation and bullpen. Of course, not all will pitch, but the volume of pitchers declared are a good sign for Mason fans. The Atlantic 10 will be a tough conference to win, considering the reigning champion, Davidson, reached the super regionals last year. Despite this, do not be surprised if Mason makes a late-season run to the NCAA Tournament this coming spring.

Photo courtesy of EVAN CANTWELL/CREATIVE SERVICES

Since President Trump took office in January of 2017, the leaders of the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) have taken a vastly different approach to environmental protection compared to their Obamaadministration predecessors. Under Trump-appointee Scott Pruitt, the main focal point of the EPA seems to have shifted from protection to pollution. Senior leadership at the agency is infested with close ties to business interests such as Pruitt’s friendly association with the oil and gas industry. While none of Pruitt’s relationships and dealings with the oil and gas industry have been deemed

OPINIONS

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2.5.2018

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EARLY SEMESTER ANXIETY SUSAN KATHERINE CORKRAN COLUMNIST

Tempting, yet such a waste! If you are one of the many students on campus who suffers from anxiety, this beginning period of the semester is the perfect chance to find ways to make the rest of your classes far less stressful! If you have safety-lines in place, then an unexpected slip or two won’t be able to throw you off your feet once all of the assignments and expectations weighing on you start building up.

WINTER OLYMPICS: THE QUADRENNIAL ODDITY ALEXANDER KENNY COLUMNIST

Every four years, Americans tune to NBC to watch beautiful figure skaters, high-tech sled races, Shaun White, and dangerously fast downhill skiing, yet nobody knows what a triple Salchow actually is.

We like the drama. We like the crying in baseball. We like the stories. Athletes will crash hard on the rink. They will rise to their feet like brave newborn giraffes and finish the race, wobbly, stoic and concussed. We will forget their stories by March. The athletes too specialized, the events more alien to us than Quidditch. Americans vigorously care about these sports for three weeks every four years, and that seems about right.

The Olympics are a cold war battle between Democracy and Communism that we call “The Miracle on Ice” and the Russians call “The Big Cheating Cheaters at Lake Placid.” The Olympics are an insane coach yelling “you can do it” at tiny Kerri Strug, who lands the vault on torn ankle ligaments.

The Olympics are also Tonya Harding hiring a thug to bash Nancy Kerrigan’s knee. The Olympics are also track stars Carl Lewis and Ben Johnson still arguing over the 1988 gold medal when both athletes have since tested positive for steroids. Competition brings out the best and worst in all of us.

The Winter Olympics events seem unnatural. Running and swimming require no equipment. Skiing is expensive, remote, and dangerous.

Snowboarding is slightly cooler (because standing sideways exudes nonchalance), but I have to produce a failed drug test to buy a board. If there was a luge in this one-bobsled town, the waiting line would wind across Fairfax-but we wouldn’t train to circumvent friction. The moguls, brought to you

by OrthopedicSurgeons.org, are as practical as skiing through a minefield.

The skeleton competitor sits atop a teaspoon, then scoots down Mount Crumpet at 80 mph.

And then there’s curling, the low-hanging fruit of Olympic comedy. We watch ice-shuffleboard for the mockery.

Curlers aren’t shredded athletes honing skills since the age of four. Curlers look like us with middle-age love handles.

Curlers are Moms and Dads who work at the library and the DMV. Curlers feverishly push little brooms to heat the ice, passionately yelling to each other.

While most athletes crank ‘Eye of the Tiger’ and ‘Jock Jams,’ curlers spend their weekend of training listening to The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.

Figure skating, hockey and speed skating are the heavy hitters in the Winter Olympics, due to beauty, anti-beauty, and wonderfully tight

uniforms. The underrated biathlon should be a bigger deal to Americans because it combines racing and guns.

Skiing and shooting mimics catching supper for your family, provided you live north of 60° latitude and the year is 1860. Competitors ski kilometers, gasp for breath and pause at a shooting range. It’s like doing P90X, playing Jenga, then starting a new P90X tape. The biathlon couldn’t be more American if the targets were apple pies and Baywatch posters.

We will watch them all once every four years and only once every four years. World Cups in every event are broadcast annually on ESPN, but ratings are dwarfed by Scripps National Spelling Bee and Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest. Maybe we care less because Americans don’t annihilate the Winter Olympics like we do the Summer Olympics. Maybe being cold annoys us more than being sweaty. Maybe it’s because we just saw the Super Bowl and we’re emotionally drained.

I watch these amazing athletes who are physically fit to an unhealthy degree.

I watch them pull amazing stunts I’ll never be able to do. I dry-clean my skin-tight speed suit, train hard, eat my Wheaties, and wait for the day air-hockey becomes an Olympic sport.

First off, get a planner. You can make your own out of an old, plain notebook or splurge on a fancy one from the bookstore.

If you’re better with your phone than I am, there’s probably no shortage of apps you can take full advantage of to make sure that you know what work you need to be doing when. Planning out the things you need to get done, even if you don’t want to do them, makes all the difference in the world for relieving stress down the road. Even the most imposing assignment is manageable if you can break it into a handful of daily goals.

If a project is really stressing you out, you can use the time ahead of you to meet up with a tutor or take your work to the Writing Center.

Keeping yourself from procrastinating is the key to pulling through even the toughest of classes!

Next, don’t be afraid to use your time to take care of your personal needs as well as your academic responsibilities. Collapsing on your bed for a much-needed Netflix break can be a tremendous relief and recharge your mind

before you jump into your next goal.

Part of time management in college is understanding how to budget your time so that there is a balance to your activities. It’s easier said than done, I admit! With everything in moderation, there’s a lot to be gained from finding extracurriculars you love and using free time to unwind.

Last of all, don’t be afraid to reach out to ask for help when you start to feel anxious—whether that anxiety stems from a challenging class, a difficult relationship, or just generally feeling underwhelmed. There are counselors, tutors, academic advisors, and so many friendly people to turn to on campus. These first few weeks are a great chance to set goals for yourself, but remember that those goals aren’t written in stone. Your education is wholly your own, and the steps you take to attain it are yours to determine.

FOURTH ESTATE/BILLY FERGUSON

FOURTH ESTATE/MARY JANE DECARLO

There is a honeymoon phase of every semester just between syllabus week and the beginning of midterms that never seems to last long enough. It’s just far enough away from the looming deadlines of papers, projects, and presentations that it’s toxically tempting to simply let time slip by.

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Recipe of the Week Obtained from snackworks.com

LAST ISSUE’S CROSSWORD

Oreo Truffles Ingredients: • 1 pkg. (8 oz.) brick cream cheese, softened • 36 OREO Cookies, finely crushed, divided • 4 pkg. (4 oz. each) semi-sweet baking chocolate, melted 1. Mix cream cheese and 3 cups cookie crumbs until well blended.

2. Shape into 48 (1-inch) balls.

Dip in melted chocolate; place on waxed paper-covered baking sheet. Sprinkle with remaining cookie crumbs.

3. Refrigerate 1 hour or until firm. Store in tightly covered container in refrigerator.

LAST ISSUE’S GO FIGURE!

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LAST ISSUE’S MAGIC MAZE

LAST ISSUE’S SUDOKU

2.5.2018

COMICS FOURTH ESTATE/BILLY FERGUSON

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