The Sitges Flyer - JUNE 2013

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THESITGESFLYER JUNE_2013

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WELCOME

to this, the JUNE issue of the Sitges Flyer.

After a Fun seamless transition from long, lazy autumn to yet another early summer, with & informative stuff aabout Sitges nothing but a wet whimper from winter in between, we find ourselves once more awaiting the changes.

The changes that gradually overwhelm us here in Sitges as the temperature gently rises and we open our doors once more to the perpetual hope of an economy-reviving bumper summer, full of cash-wielding tourists hell bent on spending their way to happiness.

Little changes like not being able to park any more within a mile of the beach, or cycle down the passeo without mowing down a few inattentive Norwegian tourists. Or escape the constant pit pat of a thousand people up and down the beaches playing that bloody annoying game with the wooden racquets, the unfeasibly small ball and far too many wobbling body parts.

All just minor annoyances in the overall scheme of things though.

As Scott Fitzgerald so aptly put it in the Great Gatsby, “And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees, just as things grow in fast movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer.�

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CONTENTS 4-9 SPANISH NEWS 10-19 SITGES NEWS 28-29 WHATS ON 30-31 USEFUL NUMBERS 32-33 CINNAMON´S PANZANELLA 34-35 SITGES STALKER 36-39 THE DAILY CALCOT

EDITOR JOE SWAIN DESIGNER GLENN GOODWIN COVER PHOTO DAN WARD

Page 04 The Sitges Flyer SPANISH NEWS

SUMMER RENTAL

GOVT BUSILY PENNING LEGISLATION TO REGULATE SU The Spanish government is apparently right in the middle of drafting up a wad of new legislation to make it harder for private individuals to rent their properties to tourists on a shortterm rental basis.

According to a report on ‘thinkspain.com’, the move, intended to “appease the hotel industry” could end up costing 150,000 people their livelihoods.

The report goes on to suggest that once the government has approved the legislation any private property being let to tourists will no longer be covered by the State Law of Urban Rentals (LAU), but will instead be subject to regional government law or industry regulations.

As it stands, Spanish law allows

holiday homes to be rented out under any circumstances, classifying them as ‘seasonal lets’.

restricted, leaving only hotels and ‘aparthotels’ in a position to offer property rentals to holidaymakers.

But a spokesman for the government has said that the ‘omnipresence and proliferation of private villas and apartments being let – largely over the internet – is creating intrusion and disproportionate competition for the traditional tourism industry.

There will however be regional differences.

It has been reported that the new law will seek to prevent owners from letting their properties for a specific number of days or nights.

Contrary to the current system, under which renting property for any specified period has been a fundamental right of all owners, if the rental is deemed to be ‘purely for tourism purposes’, it will be

In Catalunya, owners who wish to rent out their apartments or villas to holidaymakers have to apply for a licence. Which may or may not be granted.

Quite what effect this will have on the country’s already impressive mountain of repossessed houses remains to be seen.

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CLAMPDOWN.

UMMER RENTALS OF PRIVATE PROPERTIES

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Page 06 The Sitges Flyer SPANISH NEWS

PROTESTERS CALL FOR EDUCATION MINISTER’S RESIGNATION

Thousands of striking teachers and supporters took to the streets in Spain last month to demand the resignation of the incumbent minister for education, Jose Ignacio Wert. The minister is seen as the driving force behind new legislation which will implement wide-reaching cuts to the country’s existing education budget.

The ‘Organic Law for the Improvement of Educational Quality’ or LOMCE, is designed

to give the government control over the ranking of subjects in schools, a task which is currently undertaken by teachers and other experienced educators.

Teacher unions have warned that any such cuts will inevitably lead to cuts in the number of subjects offered in the country’s schools and herald a return to a ‘back to basics’ approach to education reminiscent of post-war Spain.

According to a union representative, 72% of the education sector has taken part in action against the bill.

But then again why wouldn’t a politician know more about education than the so called ‘academics’? When one goes to hospital one always asks if the head of Public Relations is available to carry out the operation rather than a trained surgeon. Education can be so overated don’t you think?

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THE BRAINS IN SPAIN, LIVE MAINLY, WELL, IN GERMANY THESE DAYS AS IT HAPPENS A record number of Spanish people moved to Germany last year, faced with soaring unemployment and economic crisis at home.

According to figures from the German Federal Statistical Office (Destatis), the number of Spanish immigrants arriving in Germany in 2012 increased by 45 percent to 29,910.

That was the greatest number of Spanish entrants to Germany since Destatis first compiled the statistical series in 1996.

More than six million Spaniards were out of work in the first quarter of 2013, with the jobless rate hitting a record 27.2 percent.

Overall Immigration to Germany reached a 17-year high in 2012, with waves of Poles, Romanians, Bulgarians and Hungarians also heading to the EU economic powerhouse.

The most immigrants came from Poland, with 68,100 new arrivals, while 45,700 came from Romania, and 51,500 arrived from Hungary and Bulgaria.

But the greatest increases came from peripheral eurozone countries such as Italy, Portugal and Greece. Some 4,000 more immigrants arrived from Portugal in 2012, while 10,000 more came from Greece and 14,000 from Italy. “Until recently, Germany was an emigration country, but now people are flocking to Germany in search of work, as their home countries are mired in recession,� said Wolfgang Nagl, a labour market expert at the Ifo institute.

If you have any stuff for us please feel free to contact us on thesitgesflyer@gmail.com

Page 08 The Sitges Flyer SPANISH NEWS

ENGLISHMAN BUYS ENTIRE VILLAGE IN GALICIA FOR JUST 45K

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Unbelievable as it might seem, Englishman Neil Christie recently bought an entire village in Galicia for €45,000. The abandoned village, located on the border between Galicia and Asturias, comprises 6 houses and 20,000 square meters of land.

the houses as well as re-instating the infrastructure and the utility connections.

Christie, a 61-year retired sound engineer from the Manchester area, is reportedly ecstatic about his purchase and is personally setting about rebuilding each of

“Well in comparison with, for instance, UK prices, there isn’t a comparison. What you’d actually buy in the UK, would be maybe a

When asked why he would want to take on such an arduous task, Christie said that he couldn’t resist the price, particularly compared to the UK.

two-floor flat or a small house for a comparison with 20,000 metres of land and a small village here, so it’s a massive difference”.

His wife and two daughters plan to join him in Spain, but not until the construction work is finished.

As the Basques would probably say, “Tantaka-tantaka upela bête.”(Drop by drop the barrel fills.)

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BUDDHIST GARRAF DID YOU KNOW?

There’s a Buddhist Monastery In The Middle Of The Garraf National Park?

It’s called the Palau Novella and it’s been there since 1996.

The complex is open to the public and was described by one visitor as ‘a palace of tranquility’.

It is home to a thriving buddhist community and offers visitors courses in meditation, tai chi, yoga, and relaxation. It also runs classes for those wishing to learn more about the ‘tantrayana’ and its role in Tibetan Buddhism.

The monastery is renowned for its open attitude to all sectors of society, with the possible exception of that bloke with the moustache who does the ‘go compare’ ads on telly.

Joking apart (they don’t do fatwah’s do they?) it’s well worth a visit and walking away feeling better than you did when you arrived, is all but guaranteed.

Further Information at www.monjesbudistas.org/

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WHAT A TI

IP!!

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DID YOU KNOW? There’s a really good recycling centre in Sitges on the other side of the C32 (turn left at the Lidl roundabout and follow road to the end).

A good place to take the kids to learn a bit about what happens to all our waste.

No, seriously, it is. With a little bit of imagination obviously. Have you not heard of Stig of the Dump? Frightened the life out of us when we were kids..

In a spot survey, only 1 person out of 10 knew about Sitges’s recycling centre. Which is a bit of a shocker you have to agree.

So spread the word will you please. We can recycle our way out of this mess.

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SITGES MAN WALKS TO N PRECISE REASONS AS YET UNKNOWN Sitges resident Andrew Cameron last month successfully completed one of his life’s ambitions by walking to the North Pole (and back, fortunately).

“To be perfectly honest, it was an amazing experience,” he told an undercover Sitges Flyer reporter.

“But I really wouldn’t wish it on even my worst enemy.”

Cameron, who had the advantage – for mental and physical fortitude - of a previous career

as a martial arts instructor, lost 10kg during the 30-day walk and admitted afterwards that he was glad he had undertaken the challenge “with a few kilos to spare”.

“I didn’t get away completely Scott free though, I still haven’t got the feeling back in the tips of three of my fingers, which were affected by the milder version of frostbite, known as ‘frost nip’.

But I was relatively lucky in this

regard. One member of our expedition had to be airlifted off the ice after losing all feeling in his left arm. He’ll be okay though apparently.”

Cameron is currently looking for a new challenge to undertake next year but has so far rejected a few of his ex-wife’s more imaginative suggestions.

NORTH POLE

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“BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH,…

APRIL, MAY, JUNE…..ETC

MORE AND MORE LOCAL RESIDENTS FALLING FOUL OF ‘END OF MONTH’ PARKING TRAP FIASCO

For reasons best known to the people who invented the system, there are many residential streets in Sitges in which you are only allowed to park on one side of the road. A sensible move you might be thinking, especially when you consider the inherent narrowness of some of the town’s streets.

But, and here’s the bit that sees the plan wandering in its pyjamas into the arena of madness, the side of the street on which you are allowed to park, changes every month.

A change of sides, which regularly catches many motorists out

leaving them with a Eur 60 fine fluttering tauntingly on their windscreens on the first of the month.

month they started dishing the tickets out at 9.30am on Saturday morning when many of us were still in bed.”

“Quite how the system is actually meant to work nobody really knows,” said one angry Bovila resident who fell foul of the system this month.

A spokesperson for the council, when asked about the system did however point out that if you pay the fine within 20 days you get a 50% discount, but not to try to pay it within the first 10 days or so, because it sometimes takes a while to put it on the system and that to make sure you get the discount its probably best to ‘keep popping into the office every couple of days’ between the 10th and the 20th of the month.

“Are we meant to move our cars at midnight? Or at 9am? Surely it can only work if everyone shifts their cars at exactly the same time. Up until this month we’ve always had a few hours to work things out for ourselves, park somewhere else for a few hours, that sort of thing. But this

Nothing mad about that then.

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STRANGE TARDIS LIKE OBJECT MATERIALISES IN TERRAMAR PARK EITHER A CAFE ABOUT TO OPEN, OR A CLEVERLY DISGUISED WORMHOLE IN THE SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM

Those familiar with Terramar Park, and there are many because it is one of the best parks in the world with just one tiny flaw, will be excited to know that it is about to fix that flaw by becoming home to its very own little cafe.

Hurrah huzzah!

Or so it would seem if our initial cursory inspection of the mysterious green structure that arrived in the park a few weeks ago, proves to be correct.

Nice little tables with red and white umbrellas, piping hot cups of tea and a fine selection of

freshly baked pastries. We can but hope.

On the other hand, it could turn out to be an elaborate hoax, or, something less useful like a hat shop.

Only time will tell.

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“OUT, DAMNED SPOT!”

SWAPSEE TEAMS UP WITH COUNCIL IN EYECATCHING GRAFITTI CLEAN UP CAMPAIGN

Swapsee, a Sitges-based online community for professionals, this week joined forces with the Sitges Council in an ambitious plan to target unwanted graffiti around the town and remove it.

Swiftly and cheaply with the help of a revolutionary new dry ice cleaning system developed by INTELblast, another Sitges-based company and member of the Swapsee community.

“The campaign, officially entitled ‘Together Enjoy: a Clean Sitges’, is a one-of-a-kind public-private campaign of green urban art and job creation,” said Swapsee’s marketing manager Marta Mariné.

The Mayor of Sitges, Miquel Forns, has given the campaign his full support. “I am convinced that, given the current economic climate this is the best way to respond to our challenges as a municipality and create opportunities for the private sector. In this case we are also pleased to launch this public-

private partnership with a young company based in Sitges. I am confident that this experience in our city can become a reference and be reproduced in other places.”

To develop the campaign, Swapsee has hired four people who have been unemployed for years. They will receive free training valued at €300 in graffiti removal and reverse graffiti creation. At the end of the campaign they will be given a certificate and will receive guidance and support in finding work in this sector.

‘I’m very excited about this campaign we are conducting with the Sitges City Council,”

said Jan-Willem Bode, Director of Swapsee and creator of the campaign.

“It’s an act of creative collaboration consistent with Swapsee’s core mission of social sustainability and partnerships. We are very happy to contribute to the future employment of these four people. And we hope that with their new skill sets, they’re able to find opportunities in the field of graffiti removal and reverse graffiti creation.’

About Swapsee:

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Swapsee is a global platform of local networks that helps professionals and contractors to work better together.

The platform encourages the exchange of skills, helping to support the members of local communities while strengthening and revitalizing the region.

Swapsee members have the option to exchange their skills and talents with those of other members, or to just pay or be paid.

Swapsee also supports offline users through the development of activities such as workshops and networking events as well as by providing access to infrastructure.

For more information contact Marta Marine, Marketing Manager of Swapsee. (mmarine@swapsee.com, +34 666 951 823).

About INTELblast Spain: INTELblast offers a wide range of specialized cleaning services which demand a high level of expertise.

INTELblast has over 15 years of experience in the field of dry ice blasting, ductwork cleaning and graffiti removal, and in industrial cleaning.

All company personnel are trained and certified by the INTELblast Group.

INTELblast Group has franchises in Denmark, Canada, South Korea and Spain. For more information contact Luke Murphy, Chief of Operations of INTELblast Spain. (luke@intelblast.com, +34 647 471 710).

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SOMEWHERE

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in SITGES

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If you have any stuff for us please feel free to contact us on thesitgesflyer@gmail.com

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To get up-to-the-minute daily information about events and activities in Sitges we suggest that you follow our friends at Social Sitges. They offer detailed information about local upcoming events - from the big and beautiful, to the small and lesser discovered happenings around town.

For day-to-day updates on events, activities and all things social in Sitges...visit Social Sitges.....

Corpus Christi, 1-9th June Beautiful flower carpets adorn the streets of Sitges to mark the Feast of Corpus Christi (the Feast of the Body and Blood of Christ) celebrating the institution of the Sacrament of the Holy Communion at the Last Supper. In addition there will be several talks and displays at Retiro Gardens from 4-7 June. www.sitges.cat/corpus/ Gay Pride, 13-17 June Including Pride by the Promenade with shows and tribute concerts at the Gay Village to Tina Turner, Brittney Spears, The Bee Gees and Take That, and an appearance by “The New Gypsies” and other themed nights. The stage will also play host to Mr Gay Sitges, Miss Drag Queen Sitges and the Sitges Fashion Show.

The Main Pride Parade will take place on 15 June from 17h. www.gaysitgespride.com/2013/index.html Malu Concert, Saturday 22 June, 21h at Hotel Melia Sitges’ auditorium. Tickets

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WHAT’S ON International Music Festival, Friday 21 June Concerts at Cap de la Vila, Pl. Eduard Maristany and Pl. Baluard as part of the celebration of International Music Week.

More info: www.sitges.cat www.joventutsmusicals.cat Tango Festival, 17-21 July This year is the dance festival’s 20th anniversary in Sitges. The event is set to be hosted at the new venue, Masia Vilanoveta, and will include parties, exhibitions, beach & sunrise milongas, live orchestral music, dance classes, courses, shows and more. www.festivaltangositges.com Thursdays 10-14h Sitges market with food, clothes, cosmetics and accessories at Park Can Robert.

Thursdays 22.30h Jazz Jam sessions at Retiro La Cava, Calle Àngel Vidal 17 Thursdays 19-22h Folk Club at Sitges Rock Café, Passeig de Vilanova 1 (Oasis) Sundays 12h onwards Open-air Vermouth & Jazz at Utopia Beach House, Carrer de Socias, 22 Sundays (until 19 May) 12h guided tours at 19th century landmark Palau Maricel building ending with a glass of cava on the terraces. Cost €6.50 CineClub Sitges shows a Version Original film every other week (Thursdays) at rotating venues around Sitges.

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Sitges Useful Numbers: Ambulance, Ambulancia

061 (or 938946426)

Fire brigade, Bomberos 085

(or 938945151)

Police, Federal Guardia Civil 062

(or 938147050)

Police Local, Policia Local 112 (or

938117625)

Hospital San Camilo 938960025

Red cross, Cruz roja 938940266 Taxi - Train Station, Estacion de Trenes 938943594 Taxi Oasis

F

938941329

Train Information, Renfe 902240202

Tourist Office, Oficina de Turismo 938945004.....

Town Hall, Ayuntamiento 938117600

If you have anything for

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Flyer blackboard PLANET ENGLISH en r d l i h c r o f B U L C G MORNIN between 2 and 5 gs weekday mornin 9.30-13.30am

M

Fantastic Toys and Clothes for kids at lullaby C/Sant Jo sep, Sitges

our blackboard contact us thesitgesflyer@theflyer.com

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cinnamon restaurant

PANZANELLA Get a loaf of yesterday’s bread (not a baguette, needs to be real bread) Put in sun for 1 hour.

Finely chop up 2 kg of the ripest tomatoes that you can get.

Finely chop 4 or 5 cloves of garlic.

Take a cup of extra virgen olive oil, the juice of 1 lemon, a teaspoon of salt and a tablespoon of demerera sugar and mix thoroughly in a big bowl with the chopped bread, tomatoes and garlic.

Leave overnight in the fridge.

Serve at room temperature with torn basil leaves.

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the sitges stalker

will this hideousness never end?

The Stalker Has A Plan To Tackle The Global Economic Crisis. A Very Fiendish Plan As It Happens.

Of course we all knew the good times would have to end some day, but didn’t they promise us a ‘soft landing’?

about how we should beat this thing. A theory that says that the first thing we have to do is take a serious look at the vocabulary.

“Go on, jump,” they urged. “You’ll be alright, you’ve got a parachute.

Made out of a jam sandwich I’ll grant you, but beautifully crafted don’t you think?”

When the sub-prime mortgage problem first surfaced in America, they gave it the surprisingly jocular title of ‘credit squeeze’, as if a naughty little schoolboy had goosed the Federal Reserve’s bottom before scampering off to scrump a few low-hanging apples from Fannie Mae’s orchard.

And like the spoiled little consumer brats we’d all become, we believed them.

“Spend, borrow, spend, borrow.

Enjoy today, bollocks to tomorrow,” we sang in unison as we signed up for mortgages 27 times the size of our salaries.

As a friend of mine so aptly put it recently, “To say I was living beyond my means would be a serious understatement - we were virtually in different countries.”

While it might sound a little strange at first, I have a theory

But that was just the beginning.

By the time the ripple had reached Europe and a hitherto unheard of Northern Bank had gone blubbing to the Prime Minister, the term had darkened a shade to ‘credit crunch’. A little more serious, but still more reminiscent of a Ben and Jerry ice cream than an economic calamity surely?

Then, as the skies really began to

bruise towards the end of the last decade and investment bankers and stockbrokers were flopping out of upper story windows the world over (we can dream can’t we?), the media began trotting out ever more ominous words like ‘slump’, ‘drought’, ‘catastrophe’ and ‘crisis’.

As we currently stand, ‘recession’ has been sent home without so much as a screen test, and ‘depression’, ‘apocalypse’ and ‘Armageddon’ are clearing their throats in the wings waiting for the casting director’s cue.

Products perhaps of an increasing belief that the sooner we reach absolute rock bottom, the sooner we can all jump on the next freedom moto to Recovery City and get back to all that fun we were having before.

And therein lies one of the ultimate ironies. For while we

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seem to have a plethora of words for bad economic times, how many can you think of for good times?

That’s right, just one. ‘Boom’.

And even that one sounds a bit on the unstable side.

Let’s face it, with such an unimaginative armory of words with which to counteract the well-marshaled troops of the dark side, is it any wonder confidence is so low?

How, for example, would you describe two consecutive quarters of positive growth (the technical definition I believe for the complete opposite of a recession)?

A hint of boom? Quite boomyish?

A sustained period of underlying boomyness? Sounds like a game of hopscotch in the Gaza Strip.

All we have to do, to end all this hideousness (the global economic crisis, not the volatile geo-political landscape of the MIddle East), is come up with a few more imaginative and confidence inspiring words for our side of the fight, because at the end of the day, whatever the politicians might say about the size of their

rescue packages, confidence is the only thing that’s ever really going to get us on that moto.

A view which I apparently share with the chief economist/village idiot at the Washington Post, who last week concluded that the only antidote to the Crisis is for everyone in the world to start doing again exactly what it was they were doing that got us into trouble in the first place.

In other words, we must all completely ignore our newlydiscovered penny-pinching instincts and reinvigorate instead our ‘spend, spend, spend’ mindset of before.

This alone will turn the tide of ominous statistics just enough to allow a life-saving trickle of lubricating credit back into the world’s otherwise perfectly functional economic engine.

A ‘hair of the dog’ logic, I can’t help but admire.

In order to get the idea of new, upbeat words to describe the economy, we shall call this ‘Operation Starting To Trundle Along Quite Nicely Now Actually’. A phase which, if my fiendish plan takes off, will lead to ‘Getting Some Speed Up’, ‘Feeling

Flush Enough To Buy A Round In The Pub’ and ‘That’s About Right, Let’s Carry On Like This For A Few Hundred Years’.

In order to make this happen, we need to get enough people together to instigate a pivotal moment in the economic history of the world. Not so much a ‘flash mob’ as a ‘cash mob’ To play your part in this mob, two weeks next Tuesday, at precisely 11.15am, wherever you are in the world, you must go out and recklessly spend 10 whole euros more than you otherwise would have done. Preferably on something intrinsically pointless, like a Filofax or a hair net.

I might not be an expert, but that tiny little blip on the global radar - which will eventually be known by economic historians as ‘that tiny little blip on the global radar’ - might just be the camel that ate the straw that made the dung that was turned into the brick that became the cornerstone of the foundation of a brand new world economy.

On the other hand, I hear there’s a nice little job for a village idiot going at the Washington Post.

And therein lies one of the ultimate ironies. For while we seem to have a plethora of words for bad economic times, how many can you think of for good times?

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THE DAILY CALCOT

(the news, almost entirely devoid of troublesome little things like the truth)

German foreign minister urges southern european countries to:

“try working all day” Surprised by negative reaction The German foreign minister, Guido Westerwealthy, is reportedly surprised by the level of animosity his suggestion received when he presented it to the annual ‘Mediterranean Ministers Conference’ in Barcelona last week as part of his seven-part austerity survival address entitled, ‘Southern Europe - It’s Not All About Siestas and Suntans You Know’.

“I know it’s not ‘politically correct’ to tell the truth sometimes,” Westerwealthy told reporters afterwards. “ But come on, we all know they like a bottle or two of wine at lunchtime and a little 3-hour kip afterwards.

In Germany we call this ‘grounds for dismissal’.

None of the ministers was available for comment. Mind you, we did call them just after lunch.

‘ACTUALLY THERE’S ONLY ONE WAY TO SKIN A CAT’ says top scientist.

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MOSSOS D’ESQUADRA TO START BUILDING POLICE STATIONS ON ROUNDABOUTS “Will enable officers to interact with public even on rainy days,” say top brass A spokesman for the Mossos D’Esquadra national police force in Spain has confirmed plans to further reduce operating costs by siting future police stations directly on top of major roundabouts.

“Our research has revealed that 95% of the general public only interact with the police through the windows of their cars, so it

seemed logical to reinforce that ‘special relationship’ by building ‘drive through’ stations. A bit like MacDonald’s, but without all the niceties.

“We’re also working on ‘selfprocessing’ lanes through which motorists who suspect they might have been driving badly, will be able to arrest themselves, demand to see all sorts of documents they don’t have with them, issue themselves a hefty fine, pay it, and

OSCAR PISTORIUS STRANGLES PRISON GUARD “I THOUGHT HE WAS A STALKER”

then be on their way again within five minutes.”

A spokesperson for several motoring organisations condemned the plan suggesting that it could lead to self-esteem issues for many motorists, particularly Dutch ones who are renowned for their terrible parking skills.

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THE DAIL

(the news, almost entirely devoid o

BARCA AND REAL MADRID take spanking from germany “All part of the Bailout repayment terms,” confirms Merkel

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LY CALCOT

of troublesome little things like the truth)

German Chancellor and avid sports fan Angela Merkel is reportedly ‘delighted’ with the way Spain is ‘taking seriously its undertaking to repay its bailout loan, including the clause about letting German football clubs ‘have a go at being the best for a while’.

“It is possible that many people aren’t aware of the many side conditions to the loan,” Merkel told reporters after Bayern Mucich and Borussia Dortmund both booked their places in the Champion League final at Wembley at the cost of their semi-final opponents Barcelona and Real Madrid.

“I know there’s lots of stuff in there too about reducing public spending and giving us loads of money for the next 400 years or so, but to be honest I don’t really get invloved with all that.

I’m mainly in charge of fun little conditions like this one. Which, incidentally includes helping Germany win the next World Cup in Brazil. How much fun would that be?”

FIFA president, Slept Better, has reportedly rubber-stamped the arrangement in return for a guarantee that his home country of Switzerland be allowed to finish second to Germany in the Brazil World Cup Final. On penalties. “Thank you Mrs Merkel, please may we have another.”

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JUST FOR

I always carry a picture of my kids in my wallet.

It reminds me why there’s no money in there.

When I see lovers’ names carved into a tree I don’t think it’s cute, I just think its strange how many people take knives on a date.

I was installing a light in the loft today, when I slipped off a joist and put my foot right through the bedroom ceiling. It scared the proverbials out of my girlfriend. I’m not surprised though, she kicked me out last August.

I’m looking to start up my own business, recycling discarded chewing gum.

Just need help getting it off the ground.

Beyonce, Rihanna and Katy Perry sent prayers to the victims of Oklahoma.

I feel like an idiot now, I only sent money.

FUN

Page 43 The Sitges Flyer

I asked my wife what women really want and she said attentive lovers.

Or maybe it was “a tent of lovers.” I wasn’t really listening.

“Do you ever think about somebody else when we’re making love?” My wife asked.

“No.” I replied. “It’s always been your sister.”

After signing a one year contract with Chelsea, Frank Lampard has said he is looking forward to working with the next 3 or 4 Chelsea managers.

My great, great grandmother was told she’s too old to get a facelift.

You should’ve seen the look on her neck.

Page 44 The Sitges Flyer

€3,800 / mnth.

4-bedroom, 4-bathroom, 300m2 villa in Vinyet, Sitges. The building dates back to the 20s and has been totally refrubished, maintaining the original style, with special attention to carpentry and metalwork details.

Located on a plot of 650 m2.

€3,500 / mnth.

5-bedroom, 3-bathroom independent villa, Quint Mar, Sitges

€1,750 / mnth.

5-bedroom, 180m2 brand new house on a 550m2 in Quint Mar.

€1,600 / mnth.

4-bedroom, 147m2 ground floor apartment, Can Pei, Sitges.

€1,750 / mnth.

4-bedroom, furnished with pool and garden, Can Pere de la Plana.

€1,400 / mnth.

3-bedroom atico with huge roof terrace. Els Molins, Sitges

€1,100 / mnth.

3-bedroom, 154m2 town house, shared pool, Quint Mar, Sitges

For more information, please contact Darren on: 0034 637 592 079

Page 45 The Sitges Flyer

Page 46 The Sitges Flyer