THE LAST WORD
s an actress Selma Blair emerged in the early 1990s in such films as Cruel Intentions, a modernized version of the novel Dangerous Liaisons, and as the dark counterpoint to the sprightly character played by Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde. An actress who always had the intensity and quirkiness of an art-film star, she embodies the antithesis of the all-American girl. Friends with Karl Lagerfeld and hip New York figures such as Ingrid Sischy of Interview magazine, she also served as the face of Chanel. Her recent released memoir, Mean Baby, attracted my attention because of her unusual literary artistry and thoughtfulness, history in Hollywood, and multiple life struggles that continue despite her victories. Her retelling becomes gradually richer and more complex over the span of her memoir. For a Hollywoodrelated autobiography, this work is atypical and completely absorbing on an intellectual and emotional level. Not primarily a gossipy recount of film adventures, this memoir still includes enough Hollywood for all of us who enjoy escapades. It is mostly an exploration of self, of the challenges that come our way as human beings, and the maturation, joy, and love that can develop in an individual personality and soul despite the combined hardships of abuse, depression, alcoholism, and chronic illness. While this memoir shares Selma’s turmoil and angst, readers should not put it aside as a potential downer. Her appeal lies in her vulnerability, sensitivity, and genuine insights. Blair’s memoir title comes from the way to which she was referred as a newborn. With her facial expressions, her neighbors jokingly called her a “mean baby”— whose disconsolate, surly expression defined her from day one. Referred to by her family only as Baby Beitner, and then casually as Blair Beitner, she was not formally named until she was three years old and had to be certified for pre-school. Finally the name Selma, from a deceased old family friend, was grafted on to her
MIRIAM R. KRAMER
shoulders. This experience began her ambivalence about her identity at an early age. Blair became one personality, and Selma was often another. Selma started drinking from time to time at age 7 to relieve her depression and anxiety, becoming a full-fledged, if mostly functioning alcoholic as she grew older. Since her mother liked her children better when they were well-dressed and thin, she also developed an eating disorder that she only recognized in her forties. It seems evident from her writings that her mother had distinct family rules and often told her what image she was supposed to portray, along with her three sisters. Her upbringing was emotionally dysfunctional, as her rigid, distant mother enjoyed assigning her
daughters designated roles within the family. Selma was assigned the role of being depressed, neurotic, and tough. That being said, she loved her temperamental, narcissistic mother dearly, developing an odd, intense relationship in which she saw her as a role model she could never fully emulate. In growing up, she created a shell around herself, keeping her pain and secrets inside. With a mother who never wanted to hear about illness from the daughter she deemed resilient, Selma hid the shooting pains she sometimes felt in her arms and other symptoms. Later she and her doctors would view them as a possible sign of juvenile multiple sclerosis (MS). In addition, she had an absentee, ineffectual father, growing up with a housekeeper in a middle-class household where both of her parents worked long hours. Her artistic, sensitive nature flourished at Cranbrook Kingswood, a golden-hued prep school like the one in the movie Dead Poets Society, where she made lifelong friends. Selma finally felt nourished intellectually after having gone to Hillel in grade and junior high school, which focused on religion and required less academic prowess. Flunking out, she was readmitted to school after fighting to get back in. There she suffered her first sexual abuse, when the Dean, whom she loved as a father figure for his intellect, warmth, and helpfulness, kissed her and put his hand down her pants
Mean Baby by Selma Blair 320 pages, hardcover Published May 17, 2022 The first story Selma Blair Beitner ever heard about herself is that she was a mean, mean baby. With her mouth pulled in a perpetual snarl and a head so furry it had to be rubbed to make way for her forehead, Selma spent years living up to her terrible reputation: biting her sisters, lying spontaneously, getting drunk from Passover wine at the age of seven, and behaving dramatically so that she would be the center of attention. when she was a ninth grader. Knowing that she would not be believed, and caring about him deeply as well, she did her best to avoid being with him alone. Yet her sense of vulnerability, poor self-esteem, and insecurity grew out of feelings of helplessness. Her experience marked her again as someone who wanted to escape into literature and other studies, and strengthened her tendencies to explore multiple identities. After finishing this volume, I wondered why Selma never directly describes her love of the craft of acting or how she learned to prepare roles. Perhaps it has just been her nature and how she was nurtured. She often refers to others’ opinions of and praise of her, and less so her faith in her own abilities. In Selma’s young days auditioning in New York and elsewhere, she sometimes got black out drunk and was raped. At least twice she took too many pills THE LAST WORD > PAGE 13
12 June 2022
Old Town Crier
