Our Town Downtown April 12, 2012

AP R I L 12, 20 12 | W W W.NYP R E S S.C OM

CR I M E WATCH Shoplifter takes a bite out of undercover officer ( P 2 ) DOWNTOWN SOCIAL The Pillow Fight of 2012 ( P 4 ) TH E WOR LD ACCOR D I NG TO RACH E L D RACHT From a dream Gramercy Park address to braving the subway, find out this SNL alums’ take on New York City (P2 2)

DAMSELS IN DISTRESS Armond White on Whit Stillman’s bouquet of eccentrics (P2 3)

PHOTO BY PATRICIA VOULGARIS

An Unlikely Candidate Courts the Chinatown Vote Congressional hopeful Dan O’Connor draws on a past spent in China and economic prowess in bid against Rep. Nydia Velazquez (P7) PRESENTED BY:

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❯ C R I M E WATC H AMPED UP Six men tried to rob a display case full of energy drinks at a chain drugstore on Whitehall Street. When an employee attempted to stop them by snatching their bag of loot, they dragged him outside. The thieves had a total haul of several 5 Hour Energy drinks and two four-packs of Red Bull.

GONE IN 60 SECONDS On a recent evening, a 39-yearold woman left a Vandam Street bar to talk with a friend outside. When she returned to the bar, she found that her $350 designer bag had been stolen—in it were her Apple iPhone 3GS and the keys to her Audi A4.

LIGHT LUNCH A woman slung her purse over the back of her chair while eating lunch at restaurant on Broadway. As she got up to leave, the 29-year-old noticed her purse felt a bit lighter. It turns out some nimble purse picker scooped up her wallet and made $900 in charges at a local Macy’s with her credit cards.

Five-Tooth Discount

GESUNDHEIT! An MTA L train operator was recently passing through a subway car when he spotted a man with a napkin pressed to his face. He almost passed the man by, until he noticed that the napkin was seeping blood. When pressed for details, the dazed rider said that someone at Chambers Street had slashed his nose open with a box cutter, though an arrest has yet to be made.

A loss prevention officer, an undercover officer on the lookout for suspicious people, had her hand bitten when she confronted a pair of female shoplifters at a retail clothing store on Broadway. One of the shoplifters pushed the officer down while the other clamped down on her hand before they fled the store. While the pair wasn’t caught, they left their stolen items behind, including a dozen shirts, three pairs of pants, three matching bodysuits and a package of socks.

LAST SUPPER When staff arrived at their restaurant on King Street recently, they were shocked to find that someone had stolen their tables. The eight outdoor tables, valued at $1,600, were chained to the restaurant. Even crooks, it seems, have dinner parties.

TIME OUT A Rolex mysteriously vanished out of its display case at a boutique on Greene Street. Employees say the watch started its day under the glass and, at some point during business hours, disappeared. No one was seen near the expensive timepiece; store owners hope a serial number search will eventually turn up the $2,595 wrist piece.

APRIL FOOLS A family of three was probably planning on taking their bikes back home, but a thief played a cruel April Fools’ joke when he stole their wheels. Three bicycles were locked up in front of a building on South End Avenue, but the thieves clipped the locks and stole a 21-speed men’s Schwinn, a women’s 21-speed mountain bike, a bicycle trailer and a child’s bike. The stolen items were valued at $1,020.

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OU R TOWN DOWNTOWN | APR I L 12, 2012

SHEN YUN: Nothing Short of a Miracle…

Shen Yun Performing Arts. Audiences who have seen it recall the experience of a lifetime; a moment so powerfully beautiful, it touches the soul.

Shen Yun presents colorful and exhilarating performances of classical Chinese dance and music. A performance

by Shen Yun is a presentation of traditional Chinese culture as it once was: a study in grace, wisdom, and the virtues distilled from the five millennia of Chinese civilization.

Every year, Shen Yun unveils an entirely new lineup of dances, songs, and musical scores. At the core of Shen Yun’s performances is classical Chinese dance, with China’s numerous ethnic and folk dance styles rounding out the evening.

In a collection of short pieces, audiences travel from the Himalayas to tropical lake-filled regions, from the legends of the culture’s creation over 5,000 years ago to the story of Falun Dafa in China today, from the highest heavens down to the dusty plateaus of the Middle Kingdom.

During a single performance, Shen Yun transports audiences across time and space, offering a cross-cultural experience that not only entertains, but more broadly, educates and inspires. After seeing the show, one audience member marveled, “This production ... is nothing short of a miracle!”

storytelling.

Built on traditional aesthetics, classical Chinese dance was once passed down among the people, in imperial courts and

ancient plays. Over thousands of years, it was constantly refined, eventually developing into the vast and distinctly Chinese dance form we know today.

“an extraordinary experience...

— Cate Blanchett,

Academy Award-winning actress

Classical Chinese dance—an art form tempered over thousands of years

At the heart of Shen Yun’s performance is classical Chinese dance -- one of the most demanding and expressive art forms in the world. Grounded in 5,000 years of divinely inspired culture, classical Chinese dance entails systematic training in movements and postures, as well as very difficult leaps, flips, spins and other tumbling techniques.

Richly expressive, it portrays personalities and feelings with unparalleled clarity, making classical Chinese dance ideal for

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OU R TOWN DOWNTOWN | APR I L 12, 2012

downtown social

Bring in the Pillows

t

his weekend, New Yorkers made their way downtown to Washington Square Park, armed and ready for International Pillow veronica hoglund Fight day. The beautiful weather ensured a large crowd, most dressed in outrageous costumes, all equipped for the big, albeit playful, fight. The yearly event is organized by Newmindspace, which hosts a variety of fun all-ages events in and around the city.

� N E I G H BO R H O O D C HAT TE R LOWER MANHATTAN FULTON STREET TRANSIT CENTER RECEIVES $770 MIL. REVENUE BOOST The MTA received a welcome surprise March 30 when it was announced that the state’s 2012-2013 budget awarded them a robust $770 million toward the MTA’s capital plan. The allocation of funds, according to a release by State Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver, will allow the continued construction of both the Second Avenue subway line and the Fulton Street Transit Center, with remaining money being used to fund current projects such as East Side Access, the extension of the 7 train.

The Fulton Street Transit Center is currently on construction hold at the intersection of Fulton Street and Broadway, and its completion would represent a significant transportation achievement, according to Silver.

“With this new money from the budget added to the MTA capital plan, we are hopeful that the total completion of this much anticipated project, which will serve as a Grand Central Station for Lower Manhattan, is closer to reality,” said Silver. “We are all looking forward to the day when New York’s mass transit riders can use and enjoy all the state-of-the-art efficiencies and amenities of this new transit center.”

POLS AND RESIDENTS RALLY FOR LMCCC Lower Manhattan residents and politi-

cians like City Council Member Margaret Chin, Community Board 1 Chair Julie Menin and Community Board 1 Vice-Chair Catherine McVay-Hughes, rallied Monday, April 9, to urge Gov. Andrew Cuomo and Mayor Michael Bloomberg to provide the Lower Manhattan Construction Command (LMCCC) with the staff and resources to fulfill their mission.

According to a release distributed by Chin’s office, since 2004, the LMCCC has served as a point of contact for Lower Manhattan residents to obtain information and solve quality of life issues related to construction. LMCCC provides daily construction updates and email alerts to Lower Manhattan residents and holds meetings to update stakeholders and elected officials on the status of major and minor construction projects. LMCCC also conducts visits to construction sites to monitor noise levels, reports on air quality and helps elected officials address constituent complaints and works with city agencies and private developers to mitigate construction impacts in Lower Manhattan.

LMCCC has helped mediate between the community and developers on major construction projects including the Fulton Transit Center, World Trade Center, Beekman Tower and 130 Liberty St. At the end of 2010, Cuomo signed a threeyear extension to the executive order that

created the LMCCC. In January 2012, Cuomo announced the downsizing of LMCCC and plans to let go all but three full-time staff members. It is unlikely that LMCCC will be able to maintain its current level of service with reduced staff and resources.

CITYWIDE CANCER CARE ADDED FOR 9/11 FIRST RESPONDERS After several heated hours, on Wednesday, March 28, the 15-member World Trade Center Scientific and Technical Advisory Committee (STAC) decided that the federal government should cover treatment of thyroid cancer, melanoma, cancer of the respiratory and digestive systems, breast cancer, soft tissue sarcomas, eye cancer, oral cavity cancer, ovarian cancer, urinary tract cancer, leukemia, lymphoma and all childhood and rare cancers. Other types of cancer—prostate, brain and pancreatic—were excluded from the list because of a lack of correlating evidence in victims.

Whether cancer would be recommended for inclusion in the Zadroga Act saw renewed attention when the likes of State Sen. Daniel Squadron and City Council Member Margaret Chin advocated alongside 9/11 first responders for the addition on the steps of City Hall in February.

The federal government’s WTC health program administrator, Dr. John Howard,

has 60 days to weigh in on the committee’s decision and decide which cancers will be included in the bill. According to a press release sent on behalf of Winuk Communications by spokesperson Cindy Miller, “The STAC Committee’s recommendation is now in the hands of Dr. John Howard, director of the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health, who will decide whether to accept, in whole or in part, the recommendations.”

82 NEW BOARD MEMBERS Last week, Manhattan Borough President Scott Stringer proudly announced the appointment of an additional 82 members to New York City’s 12 community boards.

“This year’s appointments are the culmination of six years of work on community board empowerment and reform,” said the borough president. It also marks the achievement of another of Stringer’s chief aims, as he reported that half (41) of the new community board members fell within the 20-39 demographic.

“Community boards reflect the diversity and richness of our neighborhoods and they’re the grassroots portal to democracy in New York,” said Stringer. “Increasing youth membership was a recruitment priority this year for my office…I believe these members will bring a fresh perspective on so many of the local issues that community boards consider and create wonderful synergy with many of our long-serving members.”

CELEBRATION OF NETS BASKETBALL HISTORY IN NEW JERSEY

NETS VS 76ERS MONDAY, APRIL 23 This celebratory evening will include special guest appearances by former NETS players and coaches, video tributes, giveaways and more!

GET YOUR TICKETS TODAY BY VISITING NBA.COM/NETS OR CALL 800.4NBA.TIX

APR I L 12, 2012 | nYPR E SS.com

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� N EWS

Macy’s Says No to East River Fireworks | By Josh RogeRs

No Virginia, there is no way to move the fireworks. On Monday, a short while after Brooklyn politicians rallied to bring the Fourth of July fireworks back to the East River, Macy’s said it would stay on the Hudson this year.

“Macy’s fireworks will take place on the Hudson River, with barges positioned between 18th and 48th streets providing two miles of public viewing space,” Macy’s spokesperson Orlando Veras wrote in an email to reporters.

State Sen. Daniel Squadron, whose Downtown Manhattan-Brooklyn district straddles the East River, and Brooklyn Council Member Stephen Levin rallied April 2 in an effort to convince Macy’s to move the riverside display back east after its three-year stint on the Hudson.

They were joined in a press release by several Manhattan legislators, including Rep. Carolyn Maloney, East Side Assembly

Member Brian Kavanagh and Council Member Margaret Chin, who represents Lower Manhattan’s east and west sides.

Assembly Member Micah Kellner of the Upper East Side voiced his support on Twitter.

In the release, the pols disparaged the merits of the Hudson because it shuts out Brooklyn and Queens and drives people to New Jersey. In response to tweets posted by West Side Spirit and Our Town, Squadron clarified and said he wanted the display to be on both rivers.

When asked if Macy’s would consider that, Veras did not respond, but he did hold out hope for East River fans in future years.

The fireworks “will not be a permanent fixture in any one location,” Veras wrote. “Exclusively limiting the show to any particular area would greatly hinder the creative freedom that has made it the nation’s best and largest Independence Day display.

State Sen. Daniel Squadron. Photo couRtesy of DAnIeL squADRon’s offIce

Charges Against Councilman Rodriguez from Zuccotti Park Arrest Are Dropped | By AndRew J. hAwkins “Say ‘hi’ to Jimmy and Vinny for me.”

Those were the parting words of Judge Matthew Sciarino to Council Member Ydanis Rodriguez after dismissing the charges of obstruction of justice and resisting arrest stemming from the councilman’s November arrest.

Sciarino, a criminal court judge who was transferred to Manhattan from Staten Island after posting revealing details about his life on Facebook, may have been referring to Jimmy Oddo and Vincent Ignizo, Rodriguez’s two Council colleagues from Staten Island. But Rodriguez couldn’t say, focusing his public comments on the need for the city to respect the constitutional rights of Occupy Wall Street supporters like himself.

“Today, with the dismissal of my charges, I am calling on Mayor Michael Bloomberg and Commissioner [Ray] Kelly to spend those resources as is needed to protect our city from terrorist attack and keep our city safe, but also to defend our constitutional rights,” Rodriguez said outside the courthouse.

Rodriguez was arrested in the wake of the Nov. 15, 2011, police sweep of Zuccotti Park that ended the first phase of the Occupy Wall Street movement. Rodriguez claims he was traveling to the park to ob-

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Council Member Ydanis Rodriguez. cReAtIve commons Photo

serve the police action in his capacity as a council member but was detained and beaten by several police officers.

In court today, prosecutor Michele Bayer, from the Manhattan district attorney’s office, said she doesn’t buy the councilman’s recollection of the events but lacked the testimony, specifically from one female police officer, to try and

OU R TOWN DOWNTOWN | APR I L 12, 2012

convict him.

“As we don’t have the testimony of this specific female officer, we cannot prove the charges against this defendant beyond a reasonable doubt,” Bayer said.

“Therefore, the people move to dismiss this case.”

Rodriguez’s lawyer, Andrew Stoll, said Bayer’s comments in court about finding “no evidence to corroborate” the councilman’s story were extraneous and unwarranted.

“This wasn’t the arena for them to make those comments,” Stoll said.

“Those were gratuitous comments.”

The transcript of Bayer’s full comments from court is as follows: “The defendant is charged with obstructing governmental administration and resisting arrest following his arrest on Nov. 15, 2011, at approximately 2 a.m. one block north of Zuccotti Park. At the time of the arrest, Zuccotti Park was being temporarily evacuated.

“After a thorough investigation, the people have determined that the officers who were involved in this defendant’s arrest had probable cause to arrest him when he attempted to get past a police barricade. The people investigated the defendant’s claims that he calmly identified himself as a New York City council member, asked to enter the restricted

area and was instantaneously physically attacked by multiple officers with night sticks for no apparent reason. The people have found no evidence to corroborate any of these claims. In fact, although there is no video of this incident, we did locate video of the same officers involved in the defendant’s arrest at other points on the night of Nov. 15, 2011, acting professionally in a very chaotic environment and exercising tremendous restraint.

“As we indicated to the court on the last date, the NYPD did a full and thorough investigation to locate police witnesses to the defendant’s criminal acts. They interviewed dozens of officers assigned to Zuccotti Park that night, as well as other police witnesses. However, as we do not have the testimony of the specific female officer with whom the defendant physically interfered, which is the basis for the obstructing governmental administration charge and the basis for the ‘authorized arrest’ required for the resisting arrest charge. As we don’t have the testimony of this specific female officer, we cannot prove the charges against this defendant beyond a reasonable doubt. Therefore, the people move to dismiss this case.”

This article originally appeared on City & State’s website, cityandstateny.com.

Meet Dan O’Connor Unlikely challenger in redrawn 7th District searches for political accountability

| BY ALAN KRAWITZ

I

n his quest to unseat 20-year Rep. Nydia Velazquez in New York’s newly redrawn 7th District, which now includes parts of Chinatown, the East Village and the Lower East Side, Brooklyn-born challenger Dan O’Connor is gambling that his familiarity with Chinese culture, coupled with a keen knowledge of economics and lack of any political experience, will translate to victory.

O’Connor, an economist and businessman who works at Green Energy in Manhattan, turned his admitted “fascination” with Chinese culture into a six-year stay in mainland China, where he learned to speak fluent Mandarin and Cantonese. He studied economics at Johns Hopkins University in Nanjing, China, and later worked at an economic think tank in Hong Kong before returning to the United States in 2009.

With his early March opening of a campaign office in Chinatown, O’Connor made official his belief that longtime Rep. Velazquez, the first Puerto Rican woman elected to Congress, has been all but “ignoring” the Chinese community that now comprises nearly 20 percent of the district.

Just this past Friday, O’Connor, who has been actively courting the Chinese vote, received a public endorsement from the American Fujianese Association, the largest Chinese organization in New York. In a campaign news email, O’Connor wrote that the endorsement carries weight with thousands of Chinese voters.

Asked about O’Connor’s courting of the Chinese vote, Paul Newell, Democratic district leader of the 64th Assembly District, said, “It’s a democracy, and anyone should be able to campaign for any voter they want.”

Newell, who is supporting Velazquez in the upcoming primary on June 26, cautioned against putting too much stock in any particular ethnic vote.

“I think as a general rule, this kind of ethnic idea of politics is overrated,” he said. “At the end of the day, in most of these elections, people vote for schools, transportation and the kind of issues that impact their lives.”

But from O’Connor’s perspective, Velazquez hasn’t had the kind of impact she claims. “She has bragged about securing federal money for the community, when in fact she is dead last in bringing back money to the district.”

Campaign fundraising, however, is a different story. According to opensecrets.org, Velazquez has raised more than $250,000 as of early this year, while O’Connor has raised about $45,000, according to his campaign.

In an email campaign appeal, O’Connor estimated that he needs to raise about $100,000 to effectively compete against Velazquez, as well

as challengers City Council Member Erik Martin Dilan and Occupy Wall Streeter/hip-hop artist George Martinez.

Claiming that he saw the economic collapse coming and warned of faulty economic policies in Washington, D.C., O’Connor says his real concern is the corrupt relationship between big business and government that has produced a crop of politicians who are only concerned with pleasing corporate sponsors and getting re-elected.

“Instead of giving bailouts and trillions of dollars to large banks, hedge funds and corporations, I will fight to put money back in the hands of everyday middle-income and lower-income families,” said O’Connor.

Elaborating further on the key issues, O’Connor says he’s been sticking to bipartisan concerns such as the still struggling economy, rising inflation and political gridlock.

“The price of gas, housing and food has skyrocketed,” O’Connor said. “Unemployment has remained high. I’m one of the few candidates still talking about our very high rate of inflation.”

Citing his strong background in economics as a key qualification to serve in Congress, O’Connor has also pledged to accept only half of the $174,000-per-year congressional salary and to not take part in the lucrative congressional pension system.

“I don’t plan to be a career politician,” he said. “I want to go to Washington, enforce some accountability and return to the Democratic Party of old that didn’t favor big business.”

A supporter of term limits, O’Connor adds that many politicians go to Washington with good intentions but “come out rotten.”

And while many politicians have been talking up signs of an improved economy, O’Connor says we still have a long way to go before things turn around.

“I don’t see any real signs that things are better,” he said. “In fact, conditions in New York City have only gotten worse, through discussions with voters all across the district over the past year.”

He noted that over the past few years of the economic downturn, bankers have continued to receive million-dollar bonuses while middleand lower-income families in his district have struggled to pay the next month’s bills.

Regarding his stance on national security, O’Connor, who has libertarian leanings, says our government is involved in too many foreign affairs and is not concerned enough about vex-

Congressional candidate Dan O’Connor outside of his campaign office in Chinatown. PHOTO BY

ing problems that exist in our own country.

“We need to end the needless militarism. We are less safe as a result and closer to bankruptcy every day,” he said.

A political newcomer, O’Connor offers that one of his best qualifications is “not having held office.”

When asked about a political conspiracy being floated by some New York City political bloggers that O’Connor and OWS activist Martinez are being used to essentially draw votes away from Velazquez, he seemed unfazed.

“I’m willing to work with any people or groups that can help me win more votes, as long as I’m not compromising my own principles,” O’Connor said. “If others are conspiring to help me win votes, it’s OK with me.

“I’m very confident I will win this.”

PATRICIA VOULGARIS

APR I L 12, 2012 | NYPR E SS.COM

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THE 7-DAY PLAN THURSDAY

12 13 14 15 16 17 18 FRIDAY

BEST PICK

The Daily Show LIVE: Stand-Up Comedy from The Daily Show’s Staff [4/12]

92Y Tribeca, 200 Hudson St. (betw. Desbrosses & Vestry Sts.), 92y.org; 9 p.m., $15.

Jon Stewart may be the face of The Daily Show, but the satirical stuff he’s famous for is not born and bred in his mind alone. Join his team, including seven time Emmy-winning executive producer and writer Rory Albanese, accompanied by comedians Michael Hogan, J.R. Havlan, Jill Baum and more.

Bossa d’Novo Celebrates 50 Years of Samba Jazz Greenwich Village Bistro, 13 Carmine St. (at Bleecker St.), myspace.com/bossadnovo; 9 p.m., $5.

Celebrate the 50th anniversary of samba jazz, the unique blend of Brazilian musical counterculture brought stateside in the 1960s. Remaining true to the genre’s samba roots, saxophone melodies and deep drumming are an integral part of Bossa d’Novo’s tunes, which are a peppy blend of jazz, gospel, Brazilian samba and American pop. The result is something distinctively familiar: an authentic tribute to samba jazz 50 years later.

I Am Going to Run Away The Club at La MaMa, 74A E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd Ave. & Bowery), lamama.org; 10 p.m., $15.

This one-woman musical by Bree Benton features 15 songs from the golden age of vaudeville. Poor Baby Bree puts on a tragicomic display blending Victorian melodrama and the rise of cinema when she is tempted from her home by the circus. What lies ahead can only be fully understood in what Time Out New York called a “riveting solo show… an exquisite sense of showbiz déjà vu.”

SATURDAY

FREE Baby Story Time

New Amsterdam Public Library, 9 Murray St. (betw. Broadway & Church St.), nypl.org; 10:30 a.m.

It’s a meet-and-greet for newborns and their parents at the New Amsterdam branch of the NYPL on Thursday afternoon. Infants (newborns to 18 months) and their caregivers can enjoy stories and check out books aimed at enchantment and education. The library staff will also entertain with nursery rhymes and songs to stimulate the children while parents get to know each other.

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Mother of Exiles Tribeca PAC, 199 Chambers St. (at N. West St.), tribecapac.org; 8 p.m., $15.

With a well-balanced mix of spoken word poetry and song, the Brooklyn Woman’s Chorus aims to celebrate the lives and struggles of early immigrants in this performance, which will focus on the free and enslaved newcomers to America from as far back as three generations to present-day foreigners hoping to find their way. The BWC uses a careful blend of images and sound to demonstrate the center of the American Dream.

Decadancetheatre Joyce SoHo, 155 Mercer St. (betw. Prince & W. Houston Sts.), joyce.org; 7:30 p.m., $20.

Decadancetheatre, an all-female theatrical hip-hop group, seeks to defy gender and genre stereotypes in the hip-hop community with a selection of short works, including interactive audience favorite When The Sky Breaks: 3D. The group’s core artistic talent is evident throughout the presentation, which will culminate in a mesmerizing display as the city’s graffiti transforms into a palpable and distinct presence as the audiences bears witness to the powerful synergy of a culture that is simultaneously audible and visual.

Zorro Tribeca PAC, 199 Chambers St. (at N. West St.), tribecapac.org; 3 p.m., $25.

Relive the inspiring crusades of the vigilante Zorro in this production from Visible Fictions and the Traverse Theatre Company. This masked anti-hero, whose theatrical reprise comes due to the pen of Davey Anderson and the direction of Douglas Irvin, Zorro is the tale of the vigilante double life of nobleman Don Diego de la Vega. When masked, de la Vega becomes “more than a man,” and as Zorro, and seeks to impart justice in corrupt Spanish-Colonial-era California. With an elegantly wielded sword and a freshly ironed cape, this crusading criminal seeks to impart his charm on a colony desperate for hope.

Nature and the City: What Good is Urban Conservation?

New York Academy of Sciences, 7 WTC, 40th Fl., 250 Greenwich St. (betw. Vesey & Barclay Sts.), nyas.org; 6:30 p.m., $20.

It’s a familiar trend—cities are attempting to break from their affinity for asphalt. But how useful or futile are our efforts to reclaim urban environments for the trees? That is the question leading urban conservationists will be wrestling with in this panel discussion.

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

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Submissions can be sent to otdowntown@manhattanmedia.com.

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SUNDAY

MONDAY

Visit nypress.com for the latest updates on local events.

OU R TOWN DOWNTOWN | APR I L 12, 2012

HERE IFC Center, 323 6th Ave. (at W. 3rd St.), ifccenter.com; $13.

Breaking from traditional romance, HERE brings two people together in an unfamiliar, spellbinding and impossibly complicated tour of the Armenian countryside. Together, they plunge into the unknown and explore a world that is enchanting, but as their romantic adventure comes to a close, these star-crossed lovers from different backgrounds must choose to continue their impulsive and incredible journey together or part ways with only their memories remaining.

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Victoria Bond on Mrs. President, the Opera Museum of American Finance, 48 Wall St. (betw. William & Hanover Sts.), moaf.org; 12:30 p.m., $5.

Victoria Bond, a conductor and composer, will be discussing her opera Mrs. President at an intimate brown-bag luncheon. Mrs. President focuses on the life of Victoria Woodhull, who ran for president in 1872. Bond’s creation reveals the forgotten story of an American woman who dared to take on an all-male political establishment before women even had the right to vote.

Don’t miss the opportunity to learn about this female pioneer and gain insight into Bond’s opera, which will preview at Symphony Space in early July.

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11th Annual Tribeca Film Festival Downtown Manhattan, tribecafilm.com.

In what has become an annual rite of passage for aspiring indie filmmakers, the Tribeca Film Festival—founded by Robert De Niro, Jane Rosenthal and Craig Hatkoff in an effort to revitalize the Tribeca after Sept. 11, 2001—returns for its 11th incarnation. Playing host to Hollywood A-listers and philanthropists and celebrities from across the globe, this year’s festival will feature 90 feature film selections as well as 60 shorts from 45 countries. The festival will also play host to a plethora of public programs aimed at engaging the community in a celebration of art and culture. Individual film screenings vary in price, and ticket packages range from $250-$1,200.

� SE E Extra! Extra! And Here’s Some More Extra For Ya! Newsies dances as fast as it can | By Doug StraSSler

Newsies: The Musical, the new familyfriendly Disney musical that recently opened at the Nederlander Theater, pounds out its almost-catchy tunes from the marquee for all passersby to hear, only to bellow even louder for those privileged enough to get this hot ticket and see the show.

One might think that the show, loosely based on a real New York newsboy strike in the summer of 1899, might have something to say about the collision of art and commerce in the printing industry. But the bigger impression one gets from this enjoyably hollow exercise (and boy, is it a workout for those onstage!) isn’t about writing at all; it’s about the math required to stitch together a potential Broadway smash at all costs.

By all means, one would think that the producers had succeeded. Newsies, directed by Jeff Calhoun, transferred from a regional run at the Paper Mill Playhouse early this season and has already announced one extension through the summer, with more

Canadian Bakin’

Director Philippe Falardeau makes Monsieur Lazhar look like child’s play

| By Doug StraSSler Monsieur Lazhar gets off to an auspicious start as a young pupil in a Montreal elementary school discovers one of his teachers has killed herself. Helping the students address their grief amid the myriad other growing pains all children must face is a new teacher named Bachir Lazhar, an Algerian immigrant with his own secret history of loss.

While Lazhar may bear more than a passing resemblance to other French films about schoolchildren and the teachers who play surrogate parenthood to them, like Truffaut’s Small Change and Laurent Cantet’s The Class, Lazhar stands out from the pack by the startling maturity with which director Philippe Falardeau’s young cast handles the material.

There’s no trick to coaxing adult performances from young actors, nor having them deliver lines whose meaning they don’t understand. “There are good and bad child actors,” Falardeau said, “and the good ones are amazing. I take time in the audition process.”

Parents were not allowed on set, and

likely. It also boasts a new star in the muchballyhooed Jeremy Jordan.

The charismatic, boyish actor (who already originated another leading role on the Great White Way this fall in Bonnie and Clyde) is impressive as Jack Kelly, one of the many urchins peddling papers on the streets of the city. When boo-hiss villain Joseph Pulitzer (John Dossett) ups the price of his “papes,” it sends Kelly’s crew, which includes the injured Crutchie (an outstanding Andrew Keenan-Bolger), nerdy Davey (Ben Fankhauser) and Davey’s young brother Les (played by either Matthew J. Schechter or Lewis Grosso), into a frenzy.

At Davey’s prodding, Jack spearheads the strike.

Newsies, which had the misfortune to begin life as a film 20 years before the live-action movie musical came back in vogue and, as a result, tanked, toes the formula line to ensure a different outcome on Broadway. Some of this success will be earned, starting with the dance factor.

The punishing choreographer Christopher Gattelli has arranged numerous group arrangements involving plenty of dancing, flipping and mid-air twirling; the entire cast

astounds with their movement ability.

Harvey Fierstein, in adapting Bob Tzudiker’s and Noni White’s screenplay, has conflated Bill Pullman’s crusading reporter character and Davey’s sister Sarah, a love interest for Jack, into Katharine Plummer (Kara Lindsay), a plucky female journalist.

For all the ink dropped heralding the arrival of Jordan, it is Lindsay who runs away with Newsies. Katharine’s a smart, plot-propelling character, and the performer turns one of the show’s new songs, “Watch What Happens,” into a character-defining look at the inherent challenges of the newswriting business.

Unfortunately, Newsies also incurs a few creative demerits, several of which must also be ascribed to Fierstein. While unfairly diminishing the role of Davey (which is a shame; Fankhauser gives a spirited performance that doesn’t deserve to be overshadowed), he cleaves too closely to the movie’s screenplay in other ways. At one point, Davey mentions how his father would love to meet Jack. But that made sense because in the film’s next scene, he brought Jack home to meet his family—in the stage version, we never even see his dad. Why not

trim this fat?

And then there’s the score, with music

by Alan Menken and lyrics by Jack Feldman, who replaced the intended Howard Ashman for the movie version. The duo deftly blends current pop sensibilities with more standard orchestral swing on holdovers from the film, including “Seize the Day,” “The World Will Know,” “King of New York” and “Carrying the Banner.”

Numbers also stop only to reprise themselves immediately afterward, in a seemingly desperate attempt for as much “look at what we can do” applause as possible.

All of these choices reflect a canned feeling for Newsies. The only song approaching an organic, character-based showstopper to be found in richer recent shows like Avenue Q, The Book of Mormon or Next to Normal is “Santa Fe,” in which Jack sings of his dream life away from the city. But the creative team has squandered it by placing it as the show’s opening number, which is a mistake. We learn important information about Jack before we even know who he is.

The show, buoyant as it is, shares this problem; it’s an audience-pleaser without an identity of its own.

Falardeau had a coach on the set who knew where Falardeau “wanted to take the kids” emotionally.

Falardeau sure seems to have gotten the sound right. Lazhar, which opens in New York City Friday, April 13, has been lavished with accolades. It swept Quebec’s Jutra awards and won six Genie Awards, Canada’s version of the Oscar, including honors for Best Picture, Director and Adapted Screenplay. Falardeau was the recipient of the latter award, having adapted Lazhar from a one-man show, Bashir Lazhar, penned by his friend, Évelyne de la Chenelière.

“The play wasn’t about immigration, but had this mixture of humanity, dignity and fragility,” Falardeau, recalled about the show.

“A light bulb went off and I started imagining other characters in this world. I was drafting a first version of the script as I watched the play!”

Lazhar took Falardeau into emotional zones that he had not ventured to before, but the writer-director says he was ready for the challenge. “I ask myself three questions about any movie I work on: Is the story important? Will it interest others? And can I stick with it for three years?”

He believes many relate to Lazhar because of their own experiences with the school system. He says there is too much regulation within the system. “I know why teachers might say ‘Should I hug a kid or not?’ but we’ve gone too far. People need human contact.”

As a result, Falardeau’s movie has hit a more universal chord. Its awards aren’t limited to those bestowed in its mother country; this year, Lazhar was one of the five nominees for

Best Foreign Language Film at the Academy Awards. (Iran’s A Separation, which Falardeau saw and liked, ultimately won the prize.)

“You’re critical of the Oscars, and then you get nominated and it’s hard not to get excited,” he said of the experience. “Right before the nominations, right before they announce the award, you want it, but you hate yourself for wanting it,” he said with a laugh.

Falardeau is hopeful that the international exposure of Lazhar will bring him

more leverage and considers the possibility of making an English language film.

Falardeau also has another memory of Oscar night. “I was sitting near Steven Spielberg, who also didn’t win. I wanted to go over and introduce myself and say, ‘We have something in common: We’re both losers!’”

With instincts like his, Falardeau might just get another chance to attend the big show. But he shouldn’t count on staying seated if he does.

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� SEE Bouquet of Eccentrics Whit Stillman’s Damsels in the clouds | By Armond White

A BENEFIT

FOR THE JAZZ FOUNDATION OF AMERICA

IN MEMORY OF DENNIS IRWIN

TUESDAY, APRIL 24 / 7:30PM–9:30PM with JOHN SCOFIELD JOE LOVANO AMBROSE AKINMUSIRE

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All proceeds benefit the Jazz Musicians Emergency Fund. The price of each admission, minus $25, is tax–deductible.

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admission $125 Includes complimentary wine and hors d’oeuvres

“I like my characters to walk in clouds,” said the great comedy director Leo McCarey.

“I like a little bit of the fairy tale.”

That confession well describes the McCarey classics that execute a precarious balance between realism and fantasy—The Awful Truth, Make Way for Tomorrow, Love Affair, The Bells of St. Mary’s, even his Ruggles of Red Gap (currently in revival at Film Forum)—which took a whimsical approach to the peculiarity of America’s historical identity. McCarey’s line also describes what distinguishes the films of Whit Stillman, whose new feature, Damsels in Distress, is his first movie in 14 years.

The volunteering girls at Seven Oaks College in Damsels in Distress occupy a peculiar world, set apart from working life. They walk in the clouds of the privileged pursuits of youth, enjoying the leisure of education and idealism about politics, romance and religion—in that order of importance, though not obviously so.

Violet (Greta Gerwig), a tall, gangly-whennot-graceful sophomore, is full of private tastes and philosophies—suicide prevention and tap dancing are her volunteer causes.

She’s lucky enough to head her own beautifulgirl clique, a group who support each other and invite newbie Lily (Analeigh Tipton) to join them. They’re a bouquet of eccentrics, with names like Rose (Megalyn Echikunwoke) and Heather (Carrie MacLemore) and archly syllabic speech. Yet, like the vulgar beerand-cocktail boys they are attracted to (their “distress” Ryan Metcalf, Adam Brody, Billy Magnussen, Jermaine Crawford), each is so pretty and engaging she conveys Stillman’s fascination with the same human qualities and conflicts that made McCarey’s films so moving.

His bouquet of eccentrics defines itself when one girl sees artichokes for the first time and exclaims, “They look so weird!” (Those who don’t catch Stillman’s humor are likely to say the same.)

Damsels in Distress is Stillman’s youth

movie. His previous films, Metropolitan, Barcelona and The Last Days of Disco, surveyed young folk entering the complications of adulthood, but his long absence has added charitable distance to Stillman’s take on maturity. This is, in part, his response to Mumblecore and the opportunity that trustfunded movement provided for his brand of non-commercial class comedy, but Stillman is too focused and articulate to be mistaken for Mumblecore.

His awareness of class has always made him the most idiosyncratic indie. Whereas Mumblecore directors take their social advantages for granted, Stillman makes those advantages crucial to his characters’ spiritual struggles. (It’s in their romantic gamesmanship and political one-upsmanship, as when Violet jousts with the campus journalist. Her pursuit of humanism and a perfect relationship is explained by Heather: “Only excellence can glorify the lord.”)

Stillman digs deep into social manners, revealing the beliefs (and need-for-beliefs) that distinguish his characters from the sex-andmoney crazed figures in Sex and the City and Judd Apatow’s repulsive films. When Violet is told she has “a worthy goal, but not exactly a humble one,” she responds, “Thank you for that chastisement.” (It puts Paul Schrader’s many fake Christian films to shame.)

By bringing a sense of manners back to the chaos of modern social license, Stillman could, possibly, inspire Mumblecore to rethink itself in less slovenly terms, as a true aesthetic.

Stillman’s eloquent aphorisms and terse epigrams, too funny to repeat here, are spoken in an atmosphere of serenity and halation that both satirizes and idealizes Ivy League seclusion. It is a world Violet and her gang long to escape by improving. They hope to bring civility and grace in the courtly form of dance. This recalls how The Last Days of Disco, Stillman’s richest, deepest film, dared to look back to the waning disco era as a modern pilgrimage.

That was Stillman’s version of McCarey’s whimsical approach to the peculiarity of America’s historical identity. His youth movie hopes strongly for our present.

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Carrie MacLemore as Heather, Greta Gerwig as Violet and Megalyn Echikunwoke as Rose in Whit Stillman’s Damsels in Distress.

10

OU R TOWN DOWNTOWN | APR I L 12, 2012

� EAT

ARE YOU THE BEST WRITER OF NONFICTION ON THE EAST END?

Night Moves TAP-NY’s first annual Night Market brings Taiwanese street food to the masses

| BY RegAN HofMANN

The New York hierarchy of Chinese food is as follows: Cantonese, Sichuan, everything else. Seems impossible, given the size of the country and the diversity of its regional cooking styles, but unless you dig deep into the Flushing, Queens, pedagogy, most people don’t know their Henan from their Hunan, their Dongbei from their Fujian.

Lost in that crowd is Taiwanese food, one of the most distinctively different of the bunch. The cuisine punches up sweet and sour flavors, with rock sugar factoring heavily in braising liquids for meats and pickled vegetables moving from mere condiment to the spotlight. It’s a food culture of extremes.

Paradoxically, it’s also a cuisine of comfort foods and little-kid delights; stars that have managed to break out of the ranks of anonymity include the Bian Dang Truck’s fried pork chop with meat sauce, a gloptastic bowl of thick, savory gravy laden with ground pork over a crunchy chop and white rice, and the Shaved Ice Shop’s towering insanity desserts topped with ice cream, fruit, candy, condensed milk and whatever else you can throw at them.

The Taiwanese American Professionals Association of New York (TAP-NY) has finally decided to do something about this city’s unacceptable ignorance. The organization, dedicated to strengthening and promoting the Taiwanese-American community in the city, is hosting its first annual Night Market this Friday at the Openhouse Gallery. Organized by Carson Yiu, the Shaved Ice Shop’s founder and a member of TAP-NY, the night of eating and drinking is the group’s first event for the city at large.

“We’ve done a lot of [Taiwanese-American] community events—tech nights, movie nights, we did a Chinese New Year’s dinner,” said Yiu. “This is our first external event; we’re hoping to gain some exposure for the group and for the small businesses who are participating.”

Those small businesses include a list of food truck purveyors and small brickand-mortar shops that reads like a who’s who of the Chinatown elite. A-Pou’s Taste,

The HK Street Cart is just one of the vendors coming to the Night Market.

PHOTO cOuRTesy Of OPenHOuse gALLeRy

a cart selling potstickers that regularly pops up around Water Street and in the East Village, will be handing out their famous dumplings. The HK Street Cart will be serving gua bao, those now-ubiquitous soft steamed white buns stuffed with pork belly braised in the sweet and savory tradition. Wooly’s Ice, Yiu’s own Shop and the venerable Chinatown Ice Cream Factory will be leading the frozen treats charge, while Macaron Parlour and Filled with Sweets follow them up with dessert.

Yiu started the Shaved Ice Shop in 2010 but has been working in food for a decade. “Because of my connections to the food industry—especially with the trucks and other mobile vendors like we are—TAP-NY reached out to me to put together an event that would draw the city’s foodies along with our own community members,” he explained.

And what better draw than a night of food, games, music and—oh yeah—beer?

“Taiwan Beer is the No. 1 beer in Taiwan, but it’s really hard to find here,” Yiu said.

“They’re really trying to break into the retail market, so they were happy to sponsor us.” Over the course of the evening, raffles will be giving away iconic prizes from Apple Sidra (a Taiwanese soda that inspires Mexican Coke-like devotion) and Pocky to iPods.

While this is the organization’s first such event, it’s unlikely to be their last.

“Night markets in Taiwan are an amazing phenomenon, but nobody knows what they are here,” Yiu said.” We want to bring some of that energy to New York City.”

Enter the 2012 Dan’s Papers $6,000 Literary Prize for Nonfiction.

For the last 25 years, Dan’s Papers has showcased artists on the cover of the publication. Now Dan’s Papers wants to similarly showcase writers. We believe this is the first literary prize ever offered on the eastern end of Long Island for nonfiction in literature.

Visit Our Website for Official Rules and to Enter

Danshamptons.com/literaryprize Entries must be nonfiction and between 600-1500 words. You may send in memoirs, biography, autobiography, account of a day, opinion, history, profile of a person or institution, essay or humor.

Works must reference eastern Long Island in a meaningful way.

Contest begins March 31 and ends August 1.

First Prize $5,000 • Two Runners Up $500 each.

Winners announced at the John Drew Theater of Guild Hall in East Hampton on Saturday, August 25.

Entry fee is $20.

TAP-NY’s first annual Night Market is Friday, April 13 from 6-10 p.m. at the Openhouse Gallery (87 Lafayette St., betw.

Walker & White Sts.). Tickets are $35, $50 for VIP early entrance, and all proceeds go to benefit the nonprofit Taiwanese American Citizens League, of which TAP-NY is a chapter. For tickets, go to tapnightmarket. eventbrite.com.

APR I L 12, 2012 | nYPR E SS.com

11

� FAM I LY C O R N E R

In the Zone

For city parents, the search for a new apartment usually goes hand in hand with schooling yourself about local education

| By ERIC MESSInGER

W

e all know that parents—like most home seekers— don’t examine a property on its own when considering whether to buy or rent it. They care about outside factors like the neighborhood, the location relative to the office, and of course, the local school options. For responsible parents, the old saw “Location, Location, Location” goes hand in hand with “Education, Education, Education.”

We all want our children to have a good education, for their growth and happiness as children and for their future. But the question of what makes a good education—or good enough—is deeply personal and very complex in a city where there

are so many outstanding choices among public, private, charter and parochial schools—and so many mediocre choices.

For that reason, when a city family with young children is in the market for a new apartment, it’s a good time to do extensive research about local education—how to identify good schools and how to do admissions work on every level, from nursery through high school. In terms of education, what does living in a certain place guarantee you, if anything?

We report stories about these issues all of the time, of course. (And you can find many of them on our website, newyorkfamily.com.) Think of this as less of a comprehensive overview of researching local education than an informed starting point to education resources every parent should know when they’re researching where to live locally.

1. 424 West end Ave., Apt. 16J West RiveR House | uppeR West side

In one of the few luxury rental residences on West End Avenue, this high-floor, approximately 1,400-square-foot apartment has much to offer, including a gut renovation with condo-like finishes, a convertible three bedrooms with two and a half baths and a gourmet chef’s windowed, eat-in kitchen boasting Costa Esmeralda granite counters and stainless steel appliances. There are customized closets and a large master bedroom with an en suite master bath.

The full-service building is pet-friendly, has a 24-hour attended garage, penthouse fitness center, a landscaped furnished roof deck with magnificent views of the Hudson River and the city skyline, a bicycle storage room and exclusive Sky’s the Limit concierge service.

Asking price (rental): $8,595/month Contact: Manhattan Skyline’s rental office, 347-728-0367

2. 160 RiveRside dR., Apt. 1A uppeR West side

This beautifully renovated, super-bright three-bedroom into two on Riverside Drive offers townhouse-style living within an excellent full-service prewar building. Currently configured with two bedrooms and a fullsize den/library, this original seven-room floor plan can easily serve as a very spacious threebedroom. The apartment remains true to the old-world elegance, detail and scale of early century architecture while enjoying a contemporary renovation with quality finishes throughout. The entertaining expanse is spectacular, with a fabulous flow including an open side-by-side living room and den, formal dining room and beautifully renovated, oversized gourmet eat-in kitchen.

Asking price: $2,275,000 Maintenance/CC: $2,861 Agents: Deanna Kory, Corcoran, 212-937-7011 Ileana López-Balboa, Corcoran, 212-323-3214

12

OU R TOWN DOWNTOWN | APR I L 12, 2012

For independent (i.e., private) nursery schools and ongoing schools, check out Victoria Goldman’s various tomes, with their straightforward info on schools and admissions policies. The Parents League (parentsleague.org) is another wonderful resource, as is the Independent School Admission Association of Greater New York, more simply known as ISAAGNY (isaagny.org).

For public school, Clara Hemphill has three editions out—covering grade, middle and high school, respectively—and the website she founded, Inside Schools (insideschools.org), is the place to go for candid but reliable overviews of particular schools. But a local parent interested in public school should also become familiar with the Department of Education’s website (schools.nyc.gov)—especially its school search engine and data on particular ones of interest to you. At the very least, you will

3. 2025 BRoAdWAy, Apt. 2Cd Nevada toWeRs | uppeR West side

A wide open lofty space that’s ideal for entertaining and still makes for easy living.

This three-bedroom also boasts a renovated kitchen and bath, plus a big open dining room right beside the spacious living room. With split bedrooms, new floors, smooth ceilings and a bright western exposure, this home is almost too good to be true, thanks to its super-prime location in a well-run, full-service building that also includes a renovated rooftop sundeck.

Asking price: $1,095,000 Maintenance/CC: $3,011 Agent: Brian Lewis, Halstead, 212-381-2252

4. 333 e. 91st st., Apt. 30AB aZuRe | uppeR east side

Two corner apartments have been combined to create this sprawling four-bedroom, four-and-ahalf-bathroom condo-op with 10-foot ceilings and stunning floor-to-ceiling windows featuring amazing city and East River views. The spacious eat-in kitchen features pristine CaesarStone countertops and appliances by Viking and Bosch. Each bedroom features an en suite bathroom. The master bedroom boasts an oversized walk-in closet, too. What’s more, AZURE’s 6,300 square feet of amenity space includes two rooftop terraces, a resident’s lounge, dining area, children’s playroom, game room and a state-of-the-art fitness center. The building is also pet friendly.

Asking price: $4,535,000 Maintenance/CC: $6,371 Agents: David Greczek and Ammanda Espinal, Prudential Douglas Elliman, 212-828-4848

be able to learn which local public grade school a particular building is zoned for.

You will also be able to check out some baseline data like reading and math scores by tabbing over to the area on “Performance & Accountability” and looking up ELA and math scores by school from the last few years. By the way, the DOE website lists good charter info too, but interested parents should supplement it by visiting the Charter Center’s website (nyccharter schools.org).

In selecting the following available properties, we aspired to our usual goal of giving readers a feel for the marketplace while hopefully turning them on to a few places they may like. This time, however, the added thread is that every property is zoned for a good local public school (see sidebar matching properties and schools). But don’t take our word for it: Do your own research.

5. 330 e. 70th st., Apt. 4d tHe LaWReNce House | uppeR east side

This beautiful twobedroom, two-bathroom home is located in a full-service doorman building and features a marble entry and open floor plan. The kitchen has been fully updated and opens to a large dining and living area. The master bedroom has a renovated en suite full bathroom and a large walk-in closet. The second bedroom has a quiet southern exposure, making it a perfect office or child’s room. The second full bath has been renovated with a shower-tub. The building is located on a charming tree-lined street, so you’re in the heart of the city but also apart from it.

Asking price: $895,000 Maintenance/CC: $1,770 Contact: Owner, 330e70th@gmail.com or 917-592-0701

6. 34 e. 30th st.

MuRRay HiLL

This full-floor loft with a private terrace is a dream space with a motivated seller. Approximately 2,795 square feet, the loft was fully renovated in 2008 and features an enormous living room, four beds and two full baths and a pretty, south-facing terrace with open city views. The co-op has condo rules, including unlimited subletting. There’s a fulltime onsite super/attendant Monday-Friday who accepts all deliveries. Pets allowed. Live/work allowed. Must be seen to be appreciated.

Asking price: $2,695,000 Maintenance/CC: $3,253 Agent: Juliana Frei, Brown Harris Stevens, 212-396-5886

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9. 20 Henry St., Apt 3A/S Brooklyn HeigHts

This stunning loft home is located in the historic Middagh Building portion of the new Brooklyn Heights condominium, 20 Henry St. Formerly home to the Peaks Mason Mints Factory, this loft conversion features one-ofa-kind historic elements such as oversized arched industrial windows and original exposed heavy timber structural beams and columns. These 19th-century lofts are complemented with classically modern finishes throughout. Kitchens include premium Bosch appliances, CaesarStone counters, custom Wenge cabinetry and Grohe fixtures. Spa-like master bathrooms feature custom teak vanities, Calcutta gold marble tiles, freestanding soaking tubs, polished Parthenon stone counters and Kohler fixtures.

Asking price: ? maintenance/cc: $1,386 Agent: Michael Chapman, Stribling & Associates, 718-855-2823

7. 10 BArclAy St. Barclay tower | triBeca

A classic upscale Glenwood rental building and one of the most luxurious addresses in Tribeca, these stunning apartments feature public spaces furnished and decorated by acclaimed American designer John Saladino. The three-story colonnade and main entrance showcases French-chiseled limestone columns and walls as well as hand-carved Italian gargoyles. The posh amenities carry on in the spacious apartments, each with its own washer and dryer. The views are unsurpassed. There’s easy access to all of the restaurants, shopping and recreational spaces that are making Downtown an increasingly popular area for families—and Barclay Tower has a great children’s playroom, too.

One-, two- and three-bedroom rentals available Asking price (rental): 1BR start at $3,795/month; 2BR start at $5,795; and 3BR start at $11,900 contact: Glenwood Management’s Downtown rental office, 212-430-5900

Prices on all properties as of Feb. 15. For more tips on real estate and design for families, sign up for our weekly newsletter at newyorkfamily.com.

8. 59 JoHn St., Apt. 6c Five nine JoHn loFts | Financial District/triBeca

tHe FeAtured propertIeS & tHeIr Zoned puBlIc ScHoolS

The seller is offering 12 months paid common charges on this impeccable 1,650-square-foot true three-bedroom, two-and-a-half-bath corner condominium residence with private storage. Five Nine John Lofts was designed by Andres Escobar and the residence has been beautifully embellished by artist Benjamin Lai. This spacious floor plan has an open chef’s kitchen, huge windows, custom closets and marble baths. The property has a spacious 24-hour attended lobby, media lounge with an adjoining garden, fitness center, roof terrace and live-in superintendent. This home is perfectly sandwiched between FiDi and Tribeca and has access to all the area has to offer.

Asking price: $1,425,000 maintenance/cc: $2,130 Agent: Marc J. Palermo, Warburg Realty Partnership, 212-380-2410

PRoPERTY 160 Riverside Dr. 2025 Broadway 333 E. 91st St. 330 E. 70th St. 34 E. 30th St. 10 Barclay St. 424 W. End Ave. 59 John St. 20 Henry St.

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School data was obtained using the school search engine at schools.nyc.gov

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Autism Not Specified But Pervasive The hardest condition to define on the autism spectrum: PDD NOS

By Ashley Welch Autism now affects one in 88 children in the United States, according to a recent study released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention last month. That’s a 23 percent increase over the last two years and a 78 percent increase in the last decade.

Doctors and experts agree that this staggering jump may bring feelings of fear and confusion to an already little understood disorder.

The cause of autism, a neurological developmental disorder, is still unknown, though most science currently available points to a mixture of genetic and environmental factors. Similarly, the cause of the recent increase is not fully understood; it’s unclear whether the number represents more cases or simply better detection and screening.

“The most important thing is that there are more kids who are identified with autism spectrum disorders, so we need to plan accordingly for services that address that,” said Dr. Catherine Lord, director of the Center for Autism and the Developing Brain at New YorkPresbyterian/Weill Cornell and Columbia.

“No matter why they’re there, they clearly exist.”

The actual diagnosis of autism can be just as confusing.

The three most common disorders on the autism spectrum are autism, Asperger’s syndrome and pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified (PDD NOS). Autism is characterized by difficulties in social interaction and verbal and nonverbal communication and repetitive behaviors.

Asperger’s syndrome is considered to be on the high end of the autism spectrum; the symptoms are less severe and people with this disorder tend to preserve linguistic and cognitive development. PDD NOS is the diagnosis used to describe individuals who do

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O U R TOW N D OW N TOWN | A P R I L 1 2 , 2 0 1 2

Class at Rebecca School, which teaches children with autism. Photo courtesy of Rebecca School

not fully meet the criteria for autism or Asperger’s syndrome.

Dr. Andrew Gerber, assistant professor of clinical psychology and director of the Developmental Neuropsychology Program at Columbia University, said this last diagnosis tends to be the most difficult for parents to understand because it does not seem to be defined.

“It can be terribly confusing,” he said, “because it could mean so many different things.”

However, Gerber emphasizes that the focus should not be on the diagnosis but on the individual needs of the child.

“The optimal model of care is to focus on a description of your child’s strengths and weaknesses and what we can do to bolster the child’s strengths and address his or her weaknesses,” he said.

The diagnosis is important, however, to help families get the services they are entitled to.

While it varies from state to state, children in New York with PDD NOS

are entitled to the same services as those with other disorders on the autism spectrum, though they may be entitled to fewer hours of service. These include early intervention for children under 3, which can consist of at-home educational treatments and occupational, language and speech therapy. When kids get older, they are eligible for special preschools, which are run by both for-profit and nonprofit agencies.

All school-aged children are entitled to “free and appropriate” public education, according to the federal Individuals with Disabilities Education Act. Insurance companies may also pay for some services like speech, language and behavioral therapy, as well.

Children and adults with PDD NOS are treated similarly to those with other disorders on the autism spectrum. The most well-studied method of treatment is applied behavioral analysis, which relies on intensive behavioral intervention and teaches targeted skills and behaviors through positive reinforcement.

“It encompasses a lot of different techniques, but they all involve the idea that you learn to do things in a certain situation by recognizing the signs that now is a good time to act in a certain way, then you are rewarded for acting in that way,” Lord explained.

A perhaps lesser-known model, the developmental individual differences relationship-based model, is utilized by Rebecca School, a private day school for children with autism in Manhattan.

“We focus on relationships as the foundation of learning and pay close attention to each child’s individual needs,” said Dr. Gil Tippy, the school’s clinical director.

Instead of using reinforcement, Tippy said, children learn to relate, communicate and think critically about the world through developing relationships with teachers, staff and each other.

There has been an ongoing push to change the definition of autism in the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

The new criteria is more restrictive and would combine the three subgroups of the autism spectrum into one category, requiring children to exhibit more pronounced symptoms to qualify for the diagnosis.

Some fear that these changes will reduce the number of people who are diagnosed with autism and qualify for treatment.

“The main concern that I have is that state and federal governments and health care providers will use the new severity scale to exclude those people who look like their ASD [autism spectrum disorder] is less severe,” said Tippy.

However, opposing voices say the new changes will help improve autism diagnoses.

“These redefinitions are part of a general effort to improve all diagnoses in mental health,” Lord said. “It’s not that autism was picked out specifically.

The American Psychiatric Association periodically tries to look at what has been learned in the last decade or two to make the definitions more accurate.”

AP R I L 12, 2011 | otd ow n tow n . c o m

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O U R TOW N D OW N TOWN | A P R I L 1 2 , 2 0 1 2

Sneezing Early and Often This Season

Spring, when a hay fever sufferer turns to thoughts of tissues

By Joanna Fantozzi The early arrival of spring in New York meant a March filled with returning birds and budding flowers. But the season also means the miserable return of hay fever.

Hay fever, or allergic rhinitis, is the allergic reaction to indoor and outdoor allergens such as pollen and dust. Usually brought on by a genetic predisposition early in life, seasonal allergies affect a little under half of the American population, or 150 million people, said allergist Dr. Morris Nejat. This year, because of the dry, mild winter, hay fever symptoms began early and strong for allergy sufferers.

Even in an urban environment like New York, pollen counts are high because pollen can travel airborne for almost 100 miles, said Dr. Marjorie Slankard, director of the allergy clinic at New York Presbyterian/ Columbia Medical Center. Pollen counts in the city have been registering at medium/ high levels, or around a 10 out of 12 on the pollen scale, according to Pollen.com.

Slankard said that some of her patients even feel better in the suburbs or more rural areas than in the city.

“In New York City, people are miserable,” said Nejat. “With the early spring, you want to enjoy the outside, as opposed to stay inside and work.”

But if you suffer from allergies, enjoying the spring weather is probably the last thing you can do. Slankard said hay fever sufferers should cut down their exposure by keeping their windows closed and turning on air conditioners to cleanse the air of pollen. She also suggested that allergy sufferers shower and wash their hair when they come inside to avoid increasing the pollen in their homes.

Many people experience only minor hay fever symptoms, such as sneezing, lethargy and itchy, watery eyes, but for more uncomfortable cases of wheezing and difficulty breathing, ther e are many options.

Nejat said treatment should be based on the range and severity of symptoms. For allergies affecting the nasal passageways, use a nasal spray; for itchy eyes, eye drops may be the answer.

“If you’re in the more moderate to severe case, you really want to cut down your exposure to allergens,” said Nejat.

For an over-the-counter symptom alleviator, allergy specialists suggest Claritin

or Allegra. But in moderate or severe cases of hay fever, prescription antihistamines like Clarinex are a better option than over-thecounter medication, said Nejat.

If allergy symptoms persist, an allergy shot, which alleviates symptoms in three in four people, may be the answer, said Slankard. She also said that children with allergies should take allergy shots to reduce the risk of asthma later on in life.

Because of the range of symptoms and their severity, doctors suggest visiting an allergy specialist to get the medication you need to end the suffering.

Hay fever is affected by the pollen count, which can increase with dry, windy days and warm weather. This year, Slankard said her patients began seeing symptoms in February, which is unseasonably early. This is bad news for hay fever sufferers, because early high pollen counts may mean worse symptoms.

Dr. Beth Corn of Mt. Sinai Hospital said that early pollen counts prime the immune system, so it takes less pollen to feel uncomfortable.

And the sneezing and wheezing will most likely not abate.

“It’s still early April, so it will get much worse in the next few weeks,” said Nejat. “I expect pollen counts to get much higher.”

AP R I L 12, 2011 | otd ow n tow n . c o m

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You may qualify for this study if you: • Are 18 years of age or older • Are on your first anti-HIV drug regimen • Are currently taking Atripla or Complera • Currently have an undetectable viral load for at least 6 mo What the Study involves: • Study medications, physical examinations and laboratory testing will be provided at no cost.

• You will receive payment for each completed study visit.

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Overweight, Post-menopausal Women Needed The Rockfeller University Hospital is seeking overweight, post-menopausal women to participate in a research study looking at the effects of Omega-3 Fatty Acid.

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A Colonoscopy Can Save Your Life

Healthy Manhattan

Get screened for colorectal cancer.

A colonoscopy is one of the few tests that can help in early cancer detection and prevention.

Dr. Forrest Manheimer is the Chief of Gastroenterology at New York Downtown Hospital.

He oversees an interdisciplinary group of physicians and the skilled endoscopy nursing team.

The Hospital’s multi-lingual endoscopy staff has decades of experience, which ensures safe, efficient and comfortable examinations.

Dr. Manheimer is a board certified gastroenterologist with more than 20 years of experience in the field.

For an appointment with Dr. Manheimer call: (212) 238-0189 or (212) 312-5090

Pay Attention to Children’s Hyperactivity “Boys will be boys” attitude can delay help for attention deficit disorder

By Dr. Cynthia Paulis

156 William Street, New York 10038 www.downtownhospital.org 

O U R TOW N D OW N TOWN | A P R I L 1 2 , 2 0 1 2

Donna Greenstein knew something was wrong with her son, but no one believed her. The mother of four first had two daughters and went through the usual pediatric milestones with them. Then her son was born and began to grow up.

“He would have tantrums that would last for hours and went above and beyond the normal realm of the terrible twos,” said Greenstein, a nurse. “He would rip wallpaper off walls, urinate on walls and throw feces at his sisters.”

Preschool and kindergarten teachers kept saying, “Boys will be boys. It’s nothing. He’s immature, he’ll catch up; this

is typical boy behavior.”

When he started first grade, she received a call from his teacher, who told her, “‘We need to have a meeting; something is wrong.’ Finally someone was listening to me. Before, everyone told me I was crazy,” she recalled.

Her son was tested and diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactive disorder (ADHD), obsessive-compulsive disorder and bipolar disorder. Now 16, he is active in school and sports and is preparing for college. Without intervention, therapy and medication, his story would have had a different outcome.

ADHD is a chronic condition that affects millions of children in this country, and it affects boys four times more often than girls. There are three types of the disorder: inattentive, hyperactive-impulsive and combined ADHD, the most common, which involves all symptoms.

With the inattention type, a child has Continued on page 19

Continued from page 18

difficulty paying attention to details, is easily distracted, procrastinates and fails to complete homework or chores. These symptoms are often missed until a child faces the challenge of a structured classroom.

Hyperactivity symptoms present themselves in very young preschoolers.

They include talking excessively, always being on the go, fidgeting, running or climbing excessively. Impulsivity symptoms involve inappropriate behavior, conversations, blurting out answers before questions are asked, interrupting others in social situations, knocking over objects or banging into people.

Dr. Lenard Adler, professor of psychiatry and child and adolescent psychiatry at NYU Langone Medical Center, said, “Girls are less likely to be diagnosed in childhood because they carry a higher load of the inattentive symptoms. So in a classroom, if you are daydreaming and not paying attention and distracted, you may be seen as underperforming, as compared to a boy, let’s say, who is behaviorally disruptive, in and out of his chair, interrupting his teacher.

“That doesn’t mean that girls don’t have any hyperactive impulses and boys don’t have any inattentive. But the balance is different,” he explained.

The causes of the disorder remain a mystery. ” We think the lion’s share of the transmission of ADHD—probably about 80 percent—is familiar,” said Adler. “It’s a disorder that tends to run in families.

“That being said, we also look for environmental causes that might be contributing; certainly it has been shown that maternal smoking during pregnancy may raise the risk for ADHD,” he said.

“Another environmental factor that has been shown has been maternal abandonment.”

Other possible causes linked to the disorder are lead exposure, certain food additives and, possibly, gluten.

Children with ADHD without proper intervention often struggle in the classroom, tend to have more accidents and injuries, are more likely to have trouble interacting with peers

and adults and are at increased risk for alcohol, drug abuse and delinquent behavior.

Making the diagnosis of ADHD is not always easy, since there is no one specific test such as a blood test or CAT scan that can make the definitive diagnosis. Instead, it is usually made by gathering the child’s history, first with the parents and later from the observations of teachers, before the child is brought in for evaluation.

Standard treatments for ADHD include medications and counseling.

Often, children can go on to lead productive lives. Typical medications include stimulants such as Ritalin, Adderall and Dexedrine, but there is no one perfect medicine, and it is often a trial to see which one or combination of them will be the most effective.

The stimulants help boost and balance the neurotransmitters, or brain chemicals, that help improve inattention, impulsivity and hyperactivity.

There are side effects to all meds; some may include decreased appetite, weight loss, insomnia and irritability.

It may take several rounds of fine-tuning to find the perfect combination.

Nonstimulant medications, along with antidepressants and clonidine, have also been used successfully.

Greenstein advises parents like her to seek treatment early.

“A lot of parents, I have found, are afraid of medications, so they allow their children to suffer for so many years because ‘I don’t want to put my son or daughter on medication,’” she said. “I think they do more harm than good, because the child’s self-esteem takes a major blow when they are not able to function in a classroom with other children.

“Once you medicate them and get them under control, their self-esteem starts to blossom, they learn, they start to feel better about themselves.”

Her son had difficulty maintaining friendships his first years in school.

Now as a teenager, he has friends, is active and is looking forward to college.

“I have him burn off energy so he does mixed martial arts and track,” Greenstein said. “You have to keep all of that energy focused in a positive direction.”

Four times more boys are diagnosed with ADHD than girls.

Do Allergies Keep You From Doing All You Want?

Why let allergies prevent you from living a full life? If you are allergic to food or environmental allergens, there are solutions.

Dr. Robert Y. Lin is a board certified specialist in Allergy / Immunology, with over 20 years of experience in the field. He practices at New York Downtown Hospital.

Dr. Lin specializes in:

• allergen testing • immunotherapy • food allergy evaluation • eczema patch testing • asthma • sinus treatments • drug allergies • inpatient and out-patient desensitization • pediatric allergies • immune deficiencies • seasonal and chronic allergies • allergic skin diseases • workman’s compensation • personal injury consultation • gastrointestinal allergies • pet allergies For adults: 156 William Street, 7th Floor (646) 588-2500 For children: 170 William Street, 4th Floor, Pediatrics (212) 312-5350 Chinatown: 41 Elizabeth Street, Suite 507 (212) 966-8890 Outstanding Physicians. Exceptional Care

40 Worth Street, Suite 402, New York, NY 10013 www.downtownhospital.org AP R I L 12, 2011 | otd ow n tow n . c o m

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CLASSI FI E DS Classified Advertising Department Information Telephone: 212-268-0384 | Fax: 212-268-0502 | Email: advertising@manhattanmedia.com Hours: Monday - Friday 9:00 am - 5:00 pm | Deadline: Monday 12 noon for same weeks’ issue

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O U R TOW N : D OW N TOWN | A P R I L 1 2 , 2 0 1 2

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APR I L 1 2 , 2 0 1 2 | nyp r e s s. c o m

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T

he hilarious Rachel Dratch joined the cast of Saturday Night Live in the time of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, creating a trifecta of female comedy gold. After countless memorable skits in her seven-year SNL stint (Debbie Downer was a favorite character) she was cast in the pilot of Tina Fey’s 30 Rock, only to be replaced by Jane Krakowski.

Dratch recounts all of her ups and downs in showbiz in her new humorous, heartwarming and compulsively readable memoir, Girl Walks Into a Bar…Comedy Calamities, Dating Disasters, and a Midlife Miracle.

At What Address Would You Like to Live?

Maybe right on Gramercy Park, with a key to the park so I could stand inside and look at passersby through the fence and say “Mwah ha haaa! You can’t come in here!”

When Did You First Feel Like a New Yorker? What Happened?

I guess when I figured out the subway system— so after about eight years.

What Is Your Favorite Watering Hole for Lunch?

For Dinner?

I like Good in the West Village for brunch. (Does this mean I get free lemon ricotta pancakes next time I go in there?)

For dinner, I always love going to Supper in the East Village. Love the vibe in that place, as well as the food.

What Part of the New York Lifestyle Can’t You Live Without?

That it’s open all night and that you know if you wanted to order food at two in the morning, you could.

What Is Your Most Memorable New York Moment?

Walking out of my apartment door and seeing a completely naked homeless man getting ready for his day in the driveway next door. Oh, is this is supposed to be a good memorable moment? Umm— my debut on SNL? What Is Your Favorite New York Sound?

When the Jets and the Sharks get into a street fight and they sing it out.

OUR TOWN DOWNTOWN is published weekly Copyright © 2012 Manhattan Media, LLC 79 Madison Avenue, 16th Floor New York, N.Y. 10016 Editorial (212) 284-9734 Fax (212) 268-2935 Advertising (212) 284-9715 General (212) 268-8600 E-mail: otdowntown@manhattanmedia.com Website: NYpress.com OUR TOWN DOWNTOWN is a division of Manhattan Media, LLC, publisher of West Side Spirit, Chelsea Clinton News, The Westsider, City & State, The Blackboard Awards, New York Family, and Avenue magazine.

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What Was Your Worst-Dressed New York Moment?

Recently, I wore a red T-shirt and red hooded sweatshirt into the Duane Reade, and a woman in the aisle immediately asked if I worked there. That was probably a fashion low.

What Is Your Favorite Way to Get Around New York, and Why? Walking, because you don’t have to deal with traffic jams and subway delays and you can strut down the street and sing “Stayin’ Alive” to yourself in your head as your own soundtrack. “Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk I’m a woman’s man, no time to talk....”

What’s Your Favorite Transportation Moment in the City?

That time I got to that place in a cab without having an anxiety attack.

What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up? Honestly, I’d want to be a therapist, and I think New York City is probably the therapy capital of the world…

This article originally appeared in the April 2012 edition of Avenue, avenueinsider.com.

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OU R TOWN DOWNTOWN | APR I L 12, 2012

ILIR BAJRAKTARI/PATRICKMCMULLAN.COM PHOTO

EXECUTIVE EDITOR Allen Houston ahouston@manhattanmedia.com EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Marissa Maier mmaier@manhattanmedia.com SPECIAL SECTIONS EDITOR Josh Rogers jrogers@manhattanmedia.com FEATURED CONTRIBUTORS Whitney Casser, Penny Gray, Tom Hall, Regan Hofmann, Mary Morris, Robby Ritacco, Lillian Rizzo, Paulette Safdieh CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS George Denison, Veronica Hoglund, Wyatt Kostygan, Andrew Schwartz INTERNS Andrew Rice, Patricia Voulgaris Michael Vidafar

The World According to Rachel Dratch

Woody and Whit’s Muse Greta Gerwig emerges as the go-to actress for two of New York’s most beloved directors

| BY MARA SIEGLER

Actress Greta Gerwig got her start in the mid-aughts as the sweetheart of the awkwardly dubbed “Mumblecore” movement, a low-budget film genre marked by stripped-down realism, trailing sentences and a do-it-yourself ethos. Slowly evolving into more mainstream fare, the 28-year-old has impressed even the toughest critics, with The New York Times speculating she “may well be the definitive screen actress of her generation.”

It’s a grand statement, but with upcoming roles in films by upper-crust chronicler Whit Stillman and New York’s hometown auteur Woody Allen, she seems poised to prove it true.

Working with such quintessential New York directors seems a perfect match for Gerwig. The sandy blond Sacramento, Calif., transplant came east to study English and philosophy at Barnard, graduated in 2006 and decided to call the city her home.

“New York gave me my direction and

purpose,” she gushed. “This city lit me on fire!

My dad spent some time working in New York when I was a child, and on one of my trips to visit him, I saw 42nd Street on Broadway. That was it for me—nothing else would compare.

Acting and New York were tops.”

Being the type of woman who can say “tops” with no trace of irony is part of what makes Gerwig so endearing. Whether she is sitting in a bathtub with a friend wearing goofy goggles in the relatively obscure cult film Hannah Takes the Stairs, receiving the most uncomfortable oral sex ever filmed from Ben Stiller in Greenberg or playing across Russell Brand as the quirky girl with an unabashed love for Grand Central in the remake of Arthur, she exudes a sort of nuanced innocence and authenticity.

She has brushed off the “It Girl” label, confessing, “I don’t even really know what that means,” and remains nonplussed about the recent attention she’s getting for her upcoming roles and new leading lady status. “I feel pretty good in general,” she said.

This month, Gerwig takes the lead and shows off her comedic and tap dancing skills in Stillman’s Damsels in Distress, his first film in 13 years. Known for focusing on the “urban haute bourgeoisie” with Metropolitan (1990),

Barcelona (1994) and The Last Days of Disco (1998), his new movie focuses on a group of preppie women promoting hygiene and dancing at a suicide prevention center as they desperately try to cope with the male population at their cloistered college.

Later this year she will follow in the footsteps of Diane Keaton, Mia Farrow and Scarlett Johansson, among many other beauties, in the role of Allen’s muse in To Rome With Love, playing alongside Jesse Eisenberg, Ellen Page, Alec Baldwin and Penelope Cruz. Fresh off Allen’s Oscar-winning box office success, Midnight in Paris, the film was shot in Rome and is set for theaters this June.

The roles are a perfect fit for Gerwig. “In a way, New York City is the reason I wanted to be an actress. I was in love with the city through films—Woody Allen especially,” she exclaimed. “I adore them both [Allen and Stillman]. I want more.

“If I could, I’d spent a few years making films only with them—perhaps alternating.”

It is sure to be a whirlwind year for the ris-

Greta Gerwig alongside Russell Brand in Arthur.

ing star, who is already signed on for the 2013 HBO adaptation of Jonathan Franzen’s The Corrections, but we are convinced she won’t let fame get to her head. When asked what she loves in the city, she told us unaffectedly: the subway.

“Especially where all the subways converge at Times Square. There is an area where everyone is running from the N/R/Q to the 1/2/3 to the shuttle—it is my favorite.

It makes me feel alive and calm and part of something just by living here.”

This article originally appeared in the April 2012 edition of Avenue, avenueinsider.com.

8 MILLION STORIES

ALEXANDREA J. RAVENELLE muses on mice and men

M

y first home in New York was the basketball frat house at Columbia University. The men were tall, smart and gorgeous—but in the July heat, the air conditioning-free house sweated and stank of old beer and rancid gym socks. My space was an illegally sublet bunk bed in a two-room suite, compliments of the boyfriend of the daughter of a colleague of my aunt’s. I was 22 and decidedly Southern and suburban, so I felt cool and connected—until I realized everyone had such a real estate tale.

I spent my days interviewing modern Orthodox Jewish women for my thesis, my nights throwing kosher dill pickles at the cat-sized rats that overran the ground floor and backyard. One night, my roommate’s hamster escaped from his cage and I woke at 3 a.m. to the feel of a thin rodent tail sliding across my bare stomach. I leapt out of bed, convinced the rats had come for revenge.

After my first two weeks, suddenly $1,500 poorer and limping with blisters, I decided New York was a great place to visit, but I’d never want to move there. Everything I had grown up hearing was right; it was dirty, expensive and full of vermin. I fled back to my quaint Missouri college town and promptly had four car accidents in just 10 months.

By the time of my May graduation, I couldn’t afford car insurance anymore and needed mass transit. I opted to try New York City again, this time sans exit strategy. I

vowed to stock up on rodent bait. I booked a one-way ticket, emptied my $3,000 savings account and sent my stuff and my dog to my parent’s house in Alabama.

I landed at LaGuardia without a job, friends or a place to stay except for a onenight reservation at a seedy hotel with a three-deadbolt door.

True to the single girl trifecta, I scored a job, an apartment and a boyfriend within two months. My shoebox-sized studio on 85th Street was a fraction the size of my graduate school living room and cost three times as much, but it had a tiny balcony and an exquisite view of the firefighters next door.

I thought I’d made it. Then one evening, a furry rodent dashed across the floor.

I jumped on the bed and called the boyfriend. Jonathan trekked from Gramercy to Yorkville with a collection of snap traps and peanut butter. He set the traps and warned me to be careful of my fingers. I didn’t tell him how I used to tease my grandmother for being petrified of mice. Karma was not my friend.

Alone later that night, I heard a trap snap shut. I peeked into the kitchen. There was a long thin tail protruding from the trap’s wooden platform. In college, when I’d found a bat in my house, I’d called animal control to deal with it. In New York, I called the boyfriend.

“I caught one! Now what?”

He headed back north. There was no mouse—the “tail” was the thin metal release

arm of the trap. I felt even more pathetic.

When we broke up, I turned to glue traps, a cruel move that left me dealing with squeaking, shaking creatures who stared me down with beady black eyes. More scared of them than they were of me, I dropped second traps on top and scooped them up in a dustpan while wearing plastic dishwashing gloves and knee-high boots.

Many mice and years later, I married and moved into my husband’s co-op in Murray Hill. From the window, I could clearly see rat bait traps in the back patio area. My dog’s food was an irresistible lure and I developed the ability to smell dead vermin upon entry.

Marriage and a live-in super had its perks; I delegated disposal of the corpses.

When my marriage crumbled, I couchsurfed in a friend’s Upper East Side luxury high-rise. The best thing about it was that there were no mice.

When I was finally divorced, I moved to an alcove studio downtown. Two months in, the rampant, kibble-fueled breeding of the mini Mickeys led to daytime sightings.

This was different—it was my home, and the mortgage was too high for heads to not roll.

A contractor discovered there were fist-sized holes around the pipes and no kickboards under the cabinets. I pictured rodent-sized ruby-red carpets from the holes to the puppy chow. I paid him to gut the kitchen and fill the holes. He promised me I would be vermin-free, and I was. For a year.

As the winter months rolled around,

another mouse made it into my place. It was war and I was going nuclear. So was he. I set glue traps; he ate the munchies and escaped.

I put out poison; he rolled around in it with immunity, sprinkling powdery green pellets around the black plastic dishes like toxic fairy dust. The exterminator dropped guaranteed-kill poison packets behind the furniture; he dragged them out to the middle of the living room, an outsmarting act of vengeance. When I saw my pooch pondering the poison pack with a curious look, I considered trading him for a cat.

We sprinkled sand-like layers of tracking powder behind the stove, the bookshelves, the TV. I spent hours on my hands and knees, using a flat-head screwdriver to shove extra-coarse steel wool into every crack and crevice. And every morning, my rodent—by this time he was mine—left a new trail of droppings. This was Mighty Mouse, and I hoped he was infertile.

Weeks into the battle, I smelled the stench of victory. I found his furry body on a pile of scarves, a casket worthy of a warrior. A dustpan was not an option—I doubled up a Duane Reade bag and lifted out my featherweight foe, dropping him down the garbage disposal chute. I sent the scarves out to be dry-cleaned.

Last month, when out on a date in the East Village, a rat ran across my path. I startled and grabbed my date’s hand, but it wasn’t out of fear. Perhaps rodents weren’t so bad after all.

APR I L 12, 2012 | NYPR E SS.COM

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