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Lettitor
Donald Trump is no longer funny, just terrible T
his past week, Donald Trump made his first apology during his entire campaign. A reporter had found a recording of Trump in 2005, in which he stated that, since he was rich, he could do anything he wanted to women, including the nowfamous “grab her by the pussy.” Although this did happen over 10 years ago, it comes after a long string of sexist comments towards women, during his campaign and in the years prior. He has made many sexual or rude comments about the women in his Miss USA pageants, as well as about various reporters and news anchors during the campaign. His issues with women haven’t only been verbal. A previous business
partner, Jill Harth, accused him of groping her repeatedly, as well as forcing himself on her in his daughter Ivanka’s bedroom. And yes, he did apologize when this all came to light—by making light of it, and then immediately pointing the finger at Bill Clinton, who is not running for president. Since then, he has dismissed the comments as being “locker room talk” that all men engage in, which has prompted many men, especially athletes, to speak out against Donald Trump and his attempt to normalize his comments. Earlier on in the election, Trump was so off the wall that I figured he was just catering to the populace to get the Republican
nomination, at which point he would get more serious. I couldn’t be more wrong—but then again, I didn’t know much about Trump’s past. Since becoming the nominee, he has shown 100 per cent that those are his real opinions, or at least the ones he’s going to stay true to, and he has also shown that he has no idea what he’s doing. This election has been sad and worrying, both because a man like this could gain the support of so many people, and hold it through all of this, and also because his terrible behaviour is being vindicated by all of them. I watched one CNN interview with a female supporter who parroted him
Lauren Kelly Editor-in-Chief editor@theotherpress.ca
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Cazzy Lewchuk Opinions Editor opinions@theotherpress.ca Rebecca Peterson Humour Editor humour@theotherpress.ca
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impressively when asked about Trump’s comments, responding by calling out Bill Clinton, saying everything was in the past, and then immediately changing the topic to bashing Hillary. These responses need to be shut down completely. Trump can’t be allowed to weasel his way out of accusations such as these by hiding them. Just because Bill Clinton did terrible things, it doesn’t mean Trump can, too, and it doesn’t make Hillary a bad person for being married to him. It certainly doesn’t make her a worse person than Trump. Just because some men think it’s okay to talk about women like that, doesn’t mean that it’s okay that he does, especially when
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he could be the next president of one of the most influential countries in the world. It makes me hopeful to see so many people turning against Trump in the wake of these revelations, including fellow Republicans such as John McCain and Speaker Paul D. Ryan, as well as evangelical leaders. Hopefully this trend will continue, his numbers will continue to plummet, and we can finally move forward from this disaster of an election.
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OO The Other Press has been Douglas College’s student newspaper since 1976. Since 1978 we have been an autonomous publication, independent of the student union. We are a registered society under the Society Act of British Columbia, governed by an eight-person board of directors appointed by our staff. Our head office is located in the New Westminster campus. OO The Other Press is published weekly during the fall and winter semesters, and monthly during the summer. We receive our funding from a student levy collected through tutition fees every semester at registration, and from local and national advertising revenue. The Other Press is a member of the Canadian University Press (CUP), a syndicate of student newspapers that includes papers from all across Canada. OO The Other Press reserves the right to choose what we will publish, and we will not publish material that is hateful, obscene, or condones or promotes illegal activities. Submissions may be edited for clarity and brevity if necessary. All images used are copyright to their respective owners.
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OO Clown craze causes mayhem on social media
N ews Potential Airbnb regulations in Vancouver
OO Get psyched for one-of-a-kind program
OO Tsawwassen Mills opens doors to public And more!
ööRestrictions may be detrimental for owners seeking supplemental income Mercedes Deutscher News Editor
ancouver mayor Gregor Robertson is looking at restricting Airbnb in an effort to improve the Vancouver rental market. Originally, Robertson believed that an outright ban on Airbnb was in order, after a late September city report by the Policy and Strategic Priorities Committee came in that suggested 1,500 rental properties could be freed. He explained to CBC that he believed that shortterm rentals would only continue the trend of suites remaining empty, while the amount of listed properties in the rental market continues to dwindle. As a short-term rental service, Airbnb wouldn’t leave suites available for long-term rental. “Housing is first and foremost for homes, not operating a business,” Robertson told CBC. However, due to the increasing demand of Airbnb and the difficulty in enforcing the restrictions, the city is now looking to regulate it. The
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solution drafted by the city would enforce more restrictions and regulations, such as requiring rental permits and licensing fees for property owners who list their property on Airbnb. They may also be subject to a hotel tax. Additional restrictions could include only allowing principal housing (a standalone, non-
vacation property) to be listed, eliminating the chances to rent out basement suites and condos. Robertson’s ideas to regulate the rental service have stirred some concerns. Homeowners are worried that without the income from short-term rentals, they will be unable to make their mortgage payments.
Not even the entirety of the city council is in agreeance to potential restrictions, as councilor George Affleck echoed the concerns of Airbnb hosts. Robertson responded: “Both the city’s research and broad public input tells us we can have short-term rentals in Vancouver to help supplement income,
while ensuring long-term rents are back in the rental market.” Airbnb has been urging the city to ease up on the potential restrictions, saying that Airbnb works for accomodations that would remain empty, regardless. “If a homeowner isn’t going to put them on the market anyways [or] if they’re going to be empty because they use it for their family or other things [...] then that’s not helping anybody,” said Alexandra Dagg, a policymaker with Airbnb, to CBC. “We believe regulations for home-sharing need to allow for appropriate flexibility.” While Dagg argued that the city needs to be more relaxed over what properties could qualify to be offered with Airbnb, she agreed that business licences and fees could help alleviate Vancouver’s rental problems. For now, the rental service will remain unregulated until the Policy and Strategic Priorities Committee receives more public input. They will be surveying the public until early 2017, when they will report back to the city council with a more detailed plan of action.
Walk and talk with New Westminster mayor ööDouglas College collaboration helps students create better cities Aaron Guillen Staff Reporter n interactive English course at Douglas is changing the way that students improve their academic writing, while also improving the city in which they live. Jasmine Nicholsfigueiredo, faculty member of the English Department and Chair of Education Council at the college, is leading her classes to new horizons with her experiential learning approach. Nicholsfigueiredo avidly promotes student engagement in the community and the classes she teaches embrace it. Her ENG 1130 class takes a look at how to “create better cities” with multiple guest speakers and collaborative sessions, one of which includes New Westminster Mayor Jonathan Cote. “One of our course units focuses on the role and importance of public spaces in a community [and] the mayor seemed like a natural fit,”
Image via mayorcote.ca
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Nicholsfigueiredo explained. “We are immensely fortunate that he has volunteered to lead students on this walking tour. Students might very well learn to see their surroundings in unexpected ways. [Over the course], students will work in research pods to investigate some of the environmental and social issues facing their cities. Together, they will have an opportunity to think critically about ways to improve these components of urban life and—if they wish—present their ideas to the mayor in the future.” In a brief walkabout, Cote took Douglas College
students around Downtown New Westminster to discuss relevant issues, including housing affordability, waterfront revitalization, and heritage sites. Along the walk, Cote addressed the importance of rental housing, with the prevalence of families living in apartments. According to him, most spaces have been given a par of three rooms due to the high demand. While on the subject, housing affordability for students was brought up and Cote admits he’s open to the discussion. “It’s a work in progress,” Cote added.
“We are aware that students live nearby the campus and there’s a need. It’s hard for students to afford the rentals here [in Downtown New Westminster], but I’m open to the conversation to make apartment buildings more affordable nearby the college. Right now, our biggest concern is with rental housing.” In addition, Cote explained to the students the history of New Westminster—from a declining population and irrelevant ports after World War II, to the rediscovery the city has gone through in the last 20 years. By recognizing the importance
that the waterfront holds for the city, the mayor takes pride in the decision to tear down the majority of the parking lot, a former division. Along with the redevelopments around the 8th and Columbia area, heritage revitalization is important to Cote. Along the walk, Cote took the students to Trapp Block, a heritage building currently used by local businesses after being vacant for many years. Cote expressed the value that heritage sites bring to the “street-scape.” “Douglas College students are a significant part of our community, and as the city plans for the future, their engagement in our cities future is important,” Cote said in a press release. “I’m looking forward to showing students where our focus is going to be in the coming years and, more importantly, allowing them to better understand the urban challenges and opportunities we face in New Westminster.”
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news // no. 4
Settlement reached in sexual harassment lawsuits ööRCMP Commissioner Bob Paulson announces $100 million in compensation Lauren Kelly Editor-in-Chief n October 6, the RCMP offered an official apology to female officers who have dealt with sexual harassment, sexism, and physical or sexual assault. Commissioner Bob Paulson held a news conference to make the announcement, which included the government setting aside $100 million to compensate members of the force affected by these issues. “On behalf of every leader, supervisor or manager, every commissioner,” Paulson said, tearing up, “I stand humbly before you and solemnly offer you our sincere apology. […] You came to the RCMP wanting to personally contribute to your community, and we failed you. We hurt you. For that, I’m truly sorry.” Compensation, which has no cap and will be awarded in relation to the severity of each individual’s experiences, will be handled through an independent claims process by retired Supreme Court Justice Michel Bastarache. Sexual abuse and discrimination have long been a reality for members of the RCMP, but Paulson has been working to change this. In a May 2015 letter to then-
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public safety minister Steven Blaney, Paulson said: “We have worked hard to understand the challenges, implement measures to improve our culture, and establish a system in which destructive or discriminatory
behaviours are not tolerated.” This new agreement shows that, under Paulson, the RCMP is moving towards a more respectful place for officers of both genders. As part of the agreement, the RCMP must continue
to work towards an equally respectful and safe workplace through new initiatives and increased accountability. “You can take some comfort in knowing that you have made a difference,” Paulson
told the women, represented by Janet Merlo and Linda Davidson. “Because of you— your courage, and your refusal to be silenced—the RCMP will never be the same.” Merlo launched her lawsuit in March, 2012, after suffering continued harassment and discrimination during her 19 years with the force, including a commanding officer telling her to “keep [her] fucking legs closed” when she told him she was pregnant, Global News reported. Merlo was joined in this lawsuit by 500 other women. Following the announcement, Merlo spoke, tearing up as she described the feelings of herself and the women she represents. “They all love the RCMP. They love their jobs, and they just wanted it to be a better place to work—a place for their daughters to […] have a good career; a beautiful career.” Davidson, who has been in the force for nearly 28 years, including time spent in the prime minister’s protective detail, spoke next. She also endured continued harassment and sexual advances during her long career. “It’s a new beginning. We are headed in the right direction. […] I will continue to watch things that develop, and I will continue to stand up and right the wrongs if I can.”
Clown craze causes mayhem on social media Mercedes Deutscher News Editor
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popular prank, which involves people dressing up as creepy clowns and uttering threats to pedestrians, has crossed the border and entered into Metro Vancouver. Residents, mainly youth in the Lower Mainland, have taken to social media to report their spotting and encounters with these clowns. Although the pranksters may utter threats, there have been no confirmed injuries or violent actions beyond the threats. Still, the threats have been enough to put school districts on alert. Notes and newsletters have been sent to parents in several school districts. “Threats of creepy clowns appearing at schools have now begun to surface in the North Vancouver school district,”
Mark Pearmain, North Vancouver School District superintendent, wrote in a newsletter. “Uttering threats against schools for any reason is unacceptable.” Pearmain continued: “While we understand that students likely believe it is a harmless prank, it truly is terrifying for people and can spark violence. It is also important that students understand the significance of uttering threats against their school.” The pranks also have the RCMP on the lookout, with the Surrey RCMP asking the public to forward any information on the bizarre sightings. While dressing as a clown isn’t illegal, doing so will make the person wearing the costume more susceptible to questioning and detainment by local authorities. Authorities are also reminding the public that attacking the pranksters is not self-defence, but assault.
Image via National Post
ööSchools and RCMP weigh in on bizarre pranking trend
news // no. 5
issue 6 // volume 43
Get psyched for one-of-a-kind program Aaron Guillen Staff Reporter
I
n September, the Psychosocial Rehabilitation/PSR Canada, Mental Health Commission of Canada, and Psychosocial BC held their annual conference at the college to update various organizations on current programs and services being developed to help those with mental illness within BC and across Canada. During the conference, leaders of organizations were urged to take action based on the information they learned at the conference. In the near future, PSR Canada is hoping to publish their findings in the Canadian Mental Health Journal. “This is an opportunity to bring the mental-health community together to consider how we are applying recovery-oriented psychosocial rehabilitation practices across the province,” said Regina Casey, coordinator of Douglas’ Psychosocial Rehabilitation Graduate Diploma Program, in a press release. Since the recent event, fresh eyes have turned to the graduate diploma program, which is one of the first focusing on psychosocial rehabilitation in the country. In a brief interview, Casey clarifies what will be expected of students while
completing the diploma. “It is an [online-based] evening program with four out of the five classes as night classes and the remaining course strictly online,” she said. “There are two courses in the Fall semester, two more practical courses during the Winter, and a final three-month course during the summer with 64 hours of practical work. We understand that most students have full time jobs, and this program has taken that aspect into consideration.” When looking towards future career options, Casey shared a variety of occupations. In addition, she advises students to take one year of practical experience, as it is expected. “It completely depends on what you come in with, as some new people will gain entry level jobs while others want to continue with school,” Casey pointed out. “It varies, but most students end up continuing into social work, counselling, or occupational therapy. We’ve seen an array of how people choose to further their education, and some might end up in leadership roles within mental health organizations.” Casey accredits Dr. John Higenbottam, coordinator of the Psychology Program at Douglas, for bringing the Psychosocial Rehabilitation program to life.
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ööPsychosocial Rehabilitation conference held at Douglas College
It’s apparent that his tireless effort has gained tremendous support within the college. According to the program’s page, the Graduate Diploma in Psychosocial Rehabilitation (PSR) provides invaluable knowledge for students in PSR practices within mental health settings. The program is highly recommended to practitioners
looking to upgrade, or those with bachelor degrees wanting to enter the mental health field. With the necessary work experience, students can write an exam to become a Certified Psychiatric Rehabilitation Practitioner (CPRP), recognized internationally. For students who are looking to the program with
further questions, Casey encourages individuals to take a deeper look at the program page. “[The Psychosocial Rehabilitation Graduate Diploma is] an avenue for people who work in a mental health system who are looking for credentials that enhance their employability,” she explained.
Tsawwassen Mills opens doors to public Mercedes Deutscher News Editor
O
n October 5, the Tsawwassen Mills outlet mall opened to the public. Shoppers have been flooding into the mall, which has been a cause for delay for both drivers and for those using public traffic. The mall’s opening has been especially problematic for those heading to the Tsawwassen Ferry Terminal, and particularly stressful for travellers heading to and from Vancouver Island during the Thanksgiving long weekend. The mall has also been a stress for TransLink. For the time being, there are three bus routes that stop near the mall—the 609 (Tsawwassen First Nation), which operates on limited service; the 601 (South Delta); and the 620 (Tsawwassen Ferry), which are both coming from Bridgeport Station. The buses from Bridgeport have been
overwhelmed, with shoppers lining up all around the station for the buses. There has yet to be any announcement on whether TransLink will be either adding additional service to these routes, or creating an entirely new route. In the meantime, Tsawwassen Mills is offering its own shuttle service from Scott Road station, although it is only to help employees access the mall. The shuttle operates on a $2 fare, or a $40 monthly fare, according to Business Vancouver. The mall stands on property of the Tsawwassen First Nation, and much of the mall’s design focuses on cultural aspects from the First Nation. Tsawwassen Mills spans 1.2 million square feet, according to the mall’s website. The mall houses 150 stores. While many stores are ones found in most Lower Mainland malls—such as Forever 21, H&M, etc.—the mall also hosts some harder to find retailers, like Bass Pro Shops and Saks Off 5th.
Image via Drive BC
ööOpening causes massive delays in ferry traffic
Arts
Have an idea for a story? arts@theotherpress.ca
OO Knives, masks, and psychopathic killers, oh my! OO Chairman of the Board: Fun feline fiasco OO Are you watching closely? And more!
Cinema’s best in New West Cheryl Minns Senior Columnist
T
he New West Film Fest (NWFF) returns for its sixth year with a variety of feature length and short films that are diverse, educational, and entertaining. The festival will take place on October 20–22 at Landmark Cinemas near the New Westminster SkyTrain station, and at the Douglas College New Westminster campus. “We have an amazing lineup this year, including local films, drama, fantasy, documentaries, and 3-D animations,” said Kathleen Somerville, one of the founders of the New West Film Society that organizes the festival. On October 20, Landmark Cinemas will be playing the Canadian drama Closet Monster and the Brazilian documentary Waiting for B, which follows Beyoncé fans in Brazil. On October 21, the Cuban drama Viva will be screening at the Douglas College New Westminster campus. The free screening is presented by the college’s Associate of Arts in Intercultural and International Studies (AAII), which focuses on communication in multicultural environments. “We’re excited for this film screening because it’s a great opportunity to let students
know about the program,” said Brenna Clarke Gray, the program’s coordinator. The Viva screening was arranged by Ruth MandujanoLopez, a Modern Languages instructor who is a member of the AAII committee and a New West Film Society director. “I knew Brenna was looking for a film for the program’s yearly event in October,” she said. “When I told her about the NWFF, she was very supportive about the idea of combining forces with the festival.” Mandujano-Lopez has previously coordinated screenings at the college with the Latin American Film Festival (VLAFF). She worked with VLAFF to arrange the college’s screening of Viva, which VLAFF showed at its own festival in September. “I chose Viva because the protagonist is a young Cuban man—the same age as many of the students that will be present—who is defining his identity and his goals for the future,” she said. “We also needed a topic that made the audience reflect on international and intercultural issues, and this film is perfect for that.” Also, on October 21, Landmark Cinemas will be playing the European comedy-drama The Lobster, which follows David (Colin Farrell) in a dystopian society as he tries to find a mate
Image via evbuc.com
ööFilm festival presents local and international films
in 45 days. If he doesn’t, he will be turned into a lobster. Following the feature film will be a series of short films. “We have added a new element this year, which is a ‘mini shorts film festival’ within our festival,” Somerville said. “This is the first year we opened submissions for short films, and we received dozens of films for consideration from across North America and around the world.” On October 22, two Canadian documentaries, The Pristine Coast and Fractured Land, will be playing at Landmark Cinemas, as well as the comedy-drama Captain Fantastic, starring
Viggo Mortensen. The festival will close with an after party at the CG Masters School of 3D Animation and VFX, which is located near the New Westminster SkyTrain station. The free event will include students’ 3-D animation work and a talk from CG Masters School co-founders Nicholas and Vickie Boughen about the animation business. Anvil Centre will host a mixed-media event titled Mediated Visions: film, art & technology on October 18 in collaboration with NWFF, DOXA Documentary Film Festival, Momentum Youth Arts Movement, City of New
Westminster Arts Services, and the centre’s New Media Gallery. The event will include a Phoned Footage workshop, artists’ talks, and the New Media Gallery exhibit, Witness, which features five international works that explore the world of surveillance and vision technologies. In the Anvil Centre Theatre, there will be a screening of Werner Herzog’s documentary Lo and Behold: Reveries of the Connected World, which looks at the effects and possibilities of the Internet. For more information on the New West Film Fest, showtimes, and ticket information, check out NewWestFilmFest.ca.
Comic corner: New take on a campfire staple Brittney MacDonald Life & Style Editor
O
ctober is the perfect time to let our inner horror fiends out. In what has now become Comic Corner tradition, I have decided to spend this month seeing what the horror genre of the graphic novel world has to offer. Unfortunately, this first outing was far from ideal. The Colony of the Damned is both written and drawn by Rhino Rinaldi. It focuses on the old ghost story of Roanoke. For those of you unfamiliar, Roanoke was an English colony in the late
1500s. What makes it famous is that one day, every settler that lived there just up and vanished. A hearty feat, considering that according to records, over 100 people called Roanoke home, and not one of them was ever seen again. The only clue was the word “croatoan” carved into a post. No one knows what the word means, or what happened to the people, so naturally the old story has inspired some fairly radical creative interpretations. Sadly, Rinaldi’s work is not one of the better ones. The Colony of the Damned would be right at home between the pages of an emo teenager’s sketchbook. The story offers nothing new, and instead seems to be focused
on offending the right-wing as much as possible instead of presenting a cohesive plot. The art is highly detailed, but lacks polish. The anatomy seems stiff, and the entirety of the book is left in pencil with light sources not even registering as necessary. Overall, the art looks unfinished and messy, which is upsetting because the bare bones of something good are there—it just needs that extra TLC of some ink, or a bit of colour to really take it to that dark place that Rinaldi was trying to hit. Needless to say, I will not be picking up Part 2 of this series, and I won’t be recommending it to anyone to add to their October reading list.
Image via indyplanet.com
öö‘The Colony of the Damned: Part 1’ review
arts // no. 7
Image viaNetflix
issue 6 // volume 43
Sweet Christmas! öö‘Luke Cage’ Netflix series review Adam Tatelman Arts Editor
S
ince the first phase of superhero films building up to the inevitable Avengers crossover, the quality of each outing has been in steady decline. With the release of Marvel’s latest Netflix series, Luke Cage, I think I have finally cracked the formula. Although these early entries are hamstrung by their obligation to lay the foundations for future crossovers, they are still largely free to tell their own self-contained stories and establish character conflicts that aren’t forced to tie in to
an ever-expanding universe of sticky plot threads. In the case of little-known characters like Jessica Jones and Luke Cage, this freedom is more pronounced; liberties can be taken with the source material to help the story work for TV, while still taking inspiration from the comic stories when needed. I was a Marvel kid for my entire childhood, and even I only had a couple Luke Cage comics, so I imagine not too many people are going to complain about whether the show is faithful. In some cases, it’s better off going its own way—case in point, Cage’s old 1970s getup. Luke himself (Mike Colter) is a troubled ex-con living in Harlem, holding down two separate jobs and trying to turn his life around. Of course,
he has extraordinary powers, but he keeps them hidden, afraid that using them will only bring him trouble. By night he works as a cook in Cornell Stokes’ (Mahershala Ali) nightclub, turning a blind eye to the ambitious crime lord’s political dealings. Some of Luke’s friends get in over their heads when they steal from Stokes, putting everyone Luke cares about in danger. As with all of Marvel’s Netflix series, the show deals with themes like corruption and the nature of power. Stokes’ sister, Mariah (Alfre Woodard), is a Harlem politician; her influence is what keeps his business afloat, and his underworld clout funds her campaign. Though the plot could have been ripped directly from any 1970s Blaxploitation
action film (Shaft, Super Fly), the material is treated with a lot more care, taking time to explore Harlem’s community and develop Stokes beyond a mere crime boss archetype. His dedication to his family makes him as sympathetic as Daredevil’s Wilson Fisk, yet he never comes across as just a black version of the Kingpin. The Marvel Cinematic Universe films all have a similar visual style, having slowly been broiled together into familiar grey eye-gruel over nearly a decade. The Netflix features, on the other hand, have much more distinct visual identities. Where Daredevil featured a smoky neonoir backdrop and Jessica Jones chose a palette of neon filters, Luke Cage feels comparatively bright and vibrant, especially during the daytime scenes, which
are shot much like early Spike Lee films such as Do the Right Thing. Even Luke’s introduction in Pop’s Barber Shop is a clear reference to We Cut Heads, Lee’s graduate thesis film project about barbers in Harlem. With its slick script, unique visual style, and strong cast, Luke Cage feels very much like a modern stylistic mashup of everything from Blaxploitation films to street dramas to modern crime thrillers, albeit with a few goofy decisions weighing it down. The cheesy, R&B-flavored sex scenes, for instance, should probably have been left behind in the ’70s. If you can look past its slow start and uneven presentation, Luke Cage is well worth a binge for anyone who enjoys crime thrillers.
Kirby, and Donkey Kong. While it was not the first edition of the Super Smash Bros. franchise, Melee arrived at the time when multiplayer video games were really gaining their legs. The original Super Smash Bros. for the Nintendo 64 had the same excitement at its core, but the limitation on characters and maps lessened its replay value, and led it to being trumped by its successor in 2001, two years later. While there have been additions to the franchise since, with Super Smash Bros. Brawl in 2008 for the Wii, and Super Smash Bros. in 2014 for the Wii U, neither have quite lived up to the hands-down brilliance that is Melee. Melee got it right on changes from the original game. The characters were fresh, but the originals stayed. The new maps offered choice between close combat, or an all-out,
terrain-spanning war. The new items were fun, though not too overpowered (other than that damn hammer), and thus did not decide the outcome of the matches. The additions after Melee tried to be too much. The map obstacles had too much influence on the fights, and the items were a pain. Where once it was mostly skill that decided each match, the new games added too many variables to determine the true winner. In Melee, it felt like more than a video game. It was a skill that you had honed so perfectly that in a Final Destination, items off, one-versus-one fight, you knew exactly when to strike, and there was no room for error. That type of battle could be imitated on the game’s later additions, but they would never truly match up to the delicate precision of Super Smash Bros. Melee.
Dusting off a classic ööHow ‘Super Smash Bros. Melee’ has withstood the test of time Chandler Walter Assistant Editor othing is more exciting than besting your friends at videogames, so what better way to do it than smashing them in their faces and sending them off into the horizon? Super Smash Bros. Melee is, arguably, the simplest and most addicting way to play with (up to) three of your friends. The staple of the GameCube featured many of your favourite heroes from other Nintendo games, all getting together to beat on each other until someone’s thumb starts to bleed from a worn-in controller, or someone else gets upset and turns off the console in a fit of rage. You could keep it all in the family and have Mario, Princess Peach, and Bowser all fighting for no other reason than that
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is what they exist to do. You could have Star Fox pilot Fox McCloud duke it out with his right-hand bird Falco Lombardi in a one-on-one duel that is
almost too quick to keep up with. Or you could just go with off-the-wall matchups, like Link from The Legend of Zelda squaring off against Pikachu,
theotherpress.ca
Image via artinprint.org
arts // no. 8
Are you watching closely? ööThe secret history of street magic Adam Tatelman Arts Editor
T
he art of street magic may have been popularized by David Blaine, but those who believe he invented it are mistaken. One of the most famous artistic depictions of street magic ever documented is The Conjurer, a Hieronymus Bosch painting from the late 14oos—but street magic itself is believed to have existed even 3,000 years ago as a particularly flamboyant method of busking, with roots in Eastern European, Western European, and Asian countries. While the tricks of today
may be more elaborate than those of the past, that’s merely because technology has advanced so much; the basic methods of magic remain much as they were in the past millennia. Tricks are usually separated into different categories depending on their execution. These include card magic, which uses sleight of hand techniques perfected by card sharps throughout history; illusionism, in which ordinary objects appear to do extraordinary things; and mentalism, in which the magician appears to have powerful mind-reading or clairvoyant abilities. Depending on the setting, these tricks may be adjusted
for maximum effect in either close-up or big-scale stage presentations. What we know as street magic today is typically characterized by cold approaches with no prep time. This actually enhances the illusion by placing all the focus on the magician, rather than his venue. Levitation tricks are particularly popular with street magicians, since accomplishing such with no assistants or props of any kind is sure to stun the audience. Most magicians operate by Thurston’s rules, so named for the magician who supposedly coined them. First, never reveal the trick’s methods to anyone, unless you specifically choose to train them in the art—
otherwise, you’ll cheapen the trick for anyone who might use it in the future. Secondly, don’t present a trick until you are sure you’ve perfected it. Finally, don’t perform the same trick for the same audience twice. If you do, they’re going to focus more on trying to figure out your routine. This also keeps magicians in search of fresh material. Despite the literary archetype of the mischievous magician, the magician’s community generally frowns upon the malicious use of magic tricks—that is, conning or humiliating people with magic. According to the members of the UBC Magicians & Illusionists Association, the purpose of magic is not to deceive
people, but to give them a sense of wonder and hope. Essentially, to help people believe in the impossible, even for a moment. So, how does one get started in the practice of magic? Really, you just have to decide to. It isn’t difficult to learn tricks from those who know the score, provided you promise to keep their secrets. The more you learn, the easier it will be to invent tricks of your own. That’s where the fun really begins. People will try to sell you all kinds of magic kits and fancy presentational gear, but none of it is actually necessary to those who just want to wow an audience. In this way, street performers reveal the greatest secret of magic: Anyone can do it.
Chairman of the Board: Fun feline fiasco Ed Appleby Illustrator
T
he fun of the game is not always in the mechanics. Sometimes it just takes a madman to come up with an insane premise and execute it well. Exploding Kittens (2015) is a card game for two–five players, designed and published by Matthew Inman, Elan Lee, and Shane Small. The game is based on a simple concept; players draw cards until they draw an “exploding kitten,” at which point they are eliminated. All other cards influence how the game is run, forcing people to draw cards, look at the deck, or steal cards from other players. The last player standing wins. For such a simple game, I found the play to be pretty intense. The risks of drawing
cards are huge, and there is a very strong player-vs-player aspect. Such a simple game wouldn’t warrant much note, but this game also has the benefit of Matthew Inman’s sense of humour and comic art style. Although the Oatmeal artist’s work may not appeal to everyone, those who do like it will love this game. Strategy plays a huge part in the game, since multiple players are always trying to control the deck. The game can also be expanded upon, with the Basic deck, the NSFW (Not Safe For Work) deck, and various expansions upping the number of players that can enjoy the game at once. Again, the style of game isn’t for everyone, but if you and your friends are familiar with Inman’s work, or have a little bit of a sadistic streak, I would check this game out.
Illustration by Ed Appleby
öö‘Exploding Kittens’ game review
arts // no. 9
issue 6 // volume 43
Knives, masks, and psychopathic killers, oh my! ööSuspenseful slashers for the season
huge misunderstandings and their unintentional creepiness, they’re mistaken by a group of college kids as the typical psycho killers one would normally encounter in a horror movie. Things only get worse when the kids start getting picked off by a real killer. As hilarious as it is gory, this is a refreshing twist on modern slashers.
Cazzy Lewchuk Opinions Editor s we reach the middle of October, scary movies are everywhere we look. One alltoo-common horror theme is of the “slasher”—films where a killer terrorizes a group of unsuspecting (and, usually, dumb and horny) teenagers one by one. There are countless low-budget and low-quality slashers released every year. Most of them are predictable, cheesy, and barely frightening. It’s a declining genre for this very reason, but there are still a few classics deserving of your time this holiday season.
A
Psycho (1960) Truly the original “slasher,” and one of Alfred Hitchcock’s most iconic films. On the run after stealing from her employer, Marian Crane stops at the Bates Motel for a stormy night. It’s run by the charming, if socially awkward, Norman Bates, along with his mysterious mother—“a boy’s best friend.” To wind down, Marian decides to relax with a nice, hot shower… While best known for one scene in particular, the entire film is masterfully suspenseful and unnerving, and widely considered one of the best horror movies of all time.
Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) Tina and her friends are having terrifying (and fatal) dreams of a certain figure with an orangestriped sweater, disfigured skin, and sharp metal claws. It turns out that deceased child murderer Freddy Krueger—perhaps the most iconic horror movie character of all time—is seeking revenge on all the promiscuous and helpless teens. Masterfully directed by the late great Wes Craven, this one will make you never want to sleep again.
Tucker and Dale vs Evil (2010) Tucker and Dale are a couple of good ol’ boy rednecks who wouldn’t hurt a fly, but due to
the slave owners offending women, including Nat’s wife (Gabrielle Union). Union uses her own experiences to portray her character’s reactions. Nate Parker said at the VIFF screening that he wanted to begin a conversation about African-American race relations, much like what Snowden tried to do on the subject of government surveillance. The film showed that things are better today than in the 1800s, because most white Americans were raised with different values in that time. It also showed that all Americans could work together and resolve their differences
without violence, even today. Throughout the film, Nat smiles every time he performs a sermon, when he gets whipped, and even when he murders people. This keeps the audience from knowing what is in his head, making his character mysterious and engaging at the same time. The film has beautiful visuals, including the sun rising in Georgia and the cotton field that Nat works in. When you see The Birth of a Nation, you will probably be impacted by it, and hopefully it will start conversations to make things better in the future.
Image via NBC/Universal
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974 or 2003) The original and the remake tell the same story of teenagers getting slashed by the deranged yet child-like Leatherface and his cannibalistic hillbilly family. The original focuses more on performance and suspense than gore to terrify. It’s filmed in a documentary-like style and
Halloween (1978) Yet another pioneering slasher movie that’s made truly iconic by its execution. After killing his own sister at six years old, masked killer Michael Myers escapes from an insane asylum 15 years later. As the title suggests, it also happens to be the scariest night of the year. The film builds its fear with an eerie soundtrack and a direction style of suspense and mystery. Often the most fright comes from a feeling of less, not more—and John Carpenter may have portrayed that better than anyone else ever has.
feels much too real for comfort. The remake contains more explicit blood and guts, if you can stomach that sort of thing. Be careful in the backwoods. Scream (1996) The other iconic horror franchise
by Wes Craven. Sidney and her friends find themselves targeted by the mysterious Ghostface killer. But unlike most slashers, they’re well aware of the cliché situation and openly discuss the similarities to other horror films. Hilarious, scary, and suspenseful
all at once, Scream is truly an essential example of the slasher genre and among the very best.
The Beginning of today öö‘The Birth of a Nation’ review Jerrison Oracion Senior Columnist
W
ith the recent events in the United States, African-American relations are an issue that is important in the US election this year. While there are still terrible shootings of African-Americans by police officers, it is not as bad as what was happening in the country in the 1800s. Many people thought that the journey for African-Americans to get equal rights began with the
civil war. Really, it all began with a preacher named Nat Taylor. His story was not told— on such a scale—until now. The Birth of a Nation explores a very dark time in American history, beginning with how Nat (Nate Parker) took action to try to get AfricanAmericans equal rights. The film begins with Nat’s childhood as a slave. His owner’s family teaches him to be a preacher, and almost treats him as if he were part of their family. When Nat performs a ceremony that AfricanAmericans were not permitted to perform at the time, his
owner and best friend, Samuel Turner (Armie Hammer), snaps and mistreats him. In response, Nat and his friends start a rebellion against white American slave owners. Most of the film focuses on Nat’s life, but near the end of the film, there are a number of extremely violent battle scenes. During a screening of the film at the Vancouver International Film Festival this year, some people left the theater because of the graphic scenes. These violent scenes are necessary to the story, as they show how badly AfricanAmericans were treated during that time. The film also shows
Sports
Have an idea for a story? sports@theotherpress.ca
OO Whitecap woes OO Douglas DSU E-Sports Club co-hosts League of Legends viewing party OO Fitness centre to introduce new changes And more!
One last time
ööWomen’s soccer preview: October 15–16 Davie Wong Sports Editor
W
ith their playoff spot secured, the Royals women’s soccer team just has to see out the season to a finish and prepare for the playoffs. After all, does the rest of the season matter after you’ve made the playoffs? Well actually, yes, yes it does. The next three games will be essential to determining where the Royals are seeded into the PACWEST Championships. They will also decide whether or not the Royals are regular season champions again or not. Although the team has clinched the playoffs, the battle for the regular season title is still roaring. This coming week, the Royals will do battle against one of the squads also competing for that title, the VIU Mariners. The Mariners are coming off their bye week well-rested and new. But they are also coming into playing the Royals with a lot of rust on, as it will have been 14 days since their last PACWEST
competition. While they have likely improved since their last outing, the team will probably be looking back at the 2–2 tie against Quest leading into their bye week. Their failure to put that game away will be in the back of their minds when they come to face the Royals. For the Royals, revenge will once again be a theme. The last time these two teams met, the Mariners put the Royals out of commission with a 3–1 win on the Island. This time around, the Royals will be looking to put them away. They come into the game off a dominating weekend against the former league-leading Langara Falcons. They have since claimed the league-leading title and have several of the PACWEST’s best players on the team. But the Royals will need to be defensively wary, lest the Mariner’s Chloe Gummer punish them. Gummer has been the Royals’ nemesis this year, scoring four out of five of her goals against Royals goalkeepers. If the team can shut her down, and the Royals play like they did against the Falcons, the Mariners
shouldn’t stand a chance. After that game, the team hits the road to visit the Quest Kermodes. The last time these two met, the Kermodes barely scored, only to have the Royals score right back to take the tie. The Kermodes will be fighting for their playoff lives, as they will need to win their last three games and for outcomes elsewhere to go their way. Desperation will be evident in the Kermodes’ play, but the Royals need to stand stalwart against it. It will be a hard game, but the Royals should pull out a win. Overall, I’m thinking the team can grab at least four points here. While six points is the goal, it’s understandable if the Mariner’s game results in a draw. Two points would really be a hard result to take after their play against Langara, while zero points is nearly unthinkable. You can watch the Royals host the Mariners on Saturday at 1 p.m., at Cunnings Field. Come and see if the team can repeat history and take one step closer to winning the regular season title.
WOMEN’S SOCCER INSTITUTION
CONF
PTS
DOUGLAS
4-2-3
15
LANGARA
4-3-2
14
CAPILANO
3-2-3
12
VIU
2-1-5
11
QUEST
0-5-3
3
CONF
PTS
CAPILANO
7-0-1
22
VIU
4-3-1
13
DOUGLAS
4-4-1
13
QUEST
2-5-1
7
LANGARA
1-6-2
5
MEN’S SOCCER INSTITUTION
Higher than a Falcon ööRoyals take the top of the table Davie Wong Sports Editor ith the second half of the season on the go, the importance of every matchup goes through the roof. So when you play your historic rivals in a game that could decide everything, you can just guess how intense that match is. This was not only the case for one of the matches for the Royals women’s soccer team, but two, as they took on their rivals the Langara Falcons in a doubleheader. The action got started on Saturday at Musqueam Park under poor weather conditions. The rain came down in gallons but both sides were determined to see the match through. With so much on the line, neither team wanted to wait any longer. The action got underway despite the weather, but the rain had an unmistakable effect on the game. The wet ball made passes harder to receive, and for the most part of the first half of the game, it was hard for either
See footage from the game on the Other Press
side to string together passes. That changed dramatically in the second half, as the team came out and dominated the Falcons. The Royals found goals from Andrea Perrotta, Taylor Wettig, and Mikayla Hamilton, in a huge second-half effort. The Falcons had a couple efforts near the end of the game, but were met by Royals keeper Alexa Gazzola, who kept them off the scoresheet. With that win in the books, the
Photo by Davie Wong
W
team enjoyed their brief moment in the pouring rain before heading home to prepare for the next day, where the Falcons would be coming to visit them. Although the team had won three points from the Falcons the day before, everyone knew that six was the ultimate goal. The intensity from Saturday’s match carried over to Sunday, and the team made sure the Falcons got a very warm welcome to the
Royals’ home. Mikayla Hamilton did so in style, cashing in on two goals in gorgeous fashion, sliding her shots into the bottom left hand corner each time. Momentum carried the team from there, as they kept attacking the Langara side, keeping possession out of their end. Andrea Perrotta struck the woodworks with a fantastically placed shot that almost gave the Royals three. Going into the second half, first-year winger Samantha Frketich exchanged Perrotta’s bad luck for a goal of her own, scoring on a Mikayla Hamilton cross. The Royals would finish the rout with a fourth goal from Michelle Wessa. The Falcons hardly had a chance. Whenever they did get into the Royals’ third, Alexa Gazzola was more than ready for them, and kept them out for the clean sheet. This weekend’s games marked multiple milestones for the Royals. Hamilton scored three on the weekend to jump her to five on the season and tie her for first.
Andrea Perrotta also scored once this weekend, and sits on five for the season. Alexa Gazzola tallied her second and third shutout in her sixth and seventh game. She now leads the PACWEST in shutouts, and goals conceded per 90 minutes played with an insane ratio of 0.67. The team also snagged six points from the league leaders, putting them at first place in the PACWEST conference, and locking in their place in the PACWEST playoffs, where they will be looking to repeat as champions. After the game, Coach Chris Laxton spoke about how it felt to see his team hand their rivals such heavy losses. “Those were two massive performances. We were strong in the back, our midfield kept them contained and were able to keep us going forward, and our forwards came up big. We limited them to a couple of corner kicks and through balls that we dealt with, and we put them under pressure.”
sports // no. 11
issue 6 // volume 43
Whitecap woes Erik Pinto Contributor
D
evastated and disappointed—these are the words no fan or organization wants to be preaching at the end of a long, hard-fought season. However, these were the exact words that Vancouver Whitecaps’ veteran goalkeeper David Ousted mentioned in a tweet following their 2–1 defeat to Cascadia Cup rivals the Seattle Sounders. The loss ultimately knocked Vancouver out of MLS playoffs contention with two games left to spare. Not only did the Whitecaps underachieve this season, they were made a laughing stock to play against. They tallied the least amount of points on home soil in the entire MLS. With their playoff hopes over, the struggling Caps have a lengthy offseason ahead of them, and in order to eliminate their woes they must try to accomplish three things. The first thing they will need to do is to acquire a clinical finisher. The Vancouver Whitecaps will not be a title contending team anytime soon if they do not acquire a striker who is capable of tallying at least 15 goals a season. Masato Kudo and Giles Barnes have not proven consistent, and lord knows Erik Hurtado is not the solution. There have been too many consecutive weeks where
Whitecaps fans have seen their strikers miss chance after chance. It has been a major issue that has spanned over several seasons ever since the departure of star striker Camilo Sanvezzo. The second thing that needs to be taken care of is discipline. Order must be restored. Vancouver is ranked as the team with the thirdmost disciplinary points in the league. This means they have averaged amongst the top three in red and yellow cards, fouls, coach dismissals, and any supplemental discipline. As a unit, the Caps must play a more disciplined style, as they cannot afford to be playing games a man down, or with ineligible players because of reckless tackles. The third most important thing the Caps need to do is to tidy up at the back. Amongst all goalkeepers in Major League Soccer, David Ousted has let in the third most goals, but it’s been his backline that has let him down this season. Organization has been the root of their problems. Opponents left unmarked on set pieces and fullbacks being burned by speedy wingers have been a frequent occurrence in the Caps half. This must change come 2017 if the Caps want to even have a shot of competing for a title. Although it was a lackluster campaign, let’s not forget
Illustration by Ed Appleby
ööStruggling Whitecaps have a long offseason ahead of them
this roster was consistently injury riddled throughout the course of the regular season. Young star winger Kekuta Manneh spent most of his season sidelined with a broken foot. Masato Kudo sat out multiple weeks after suffering a concussion and broken jaw. The
Caps have also been without Canadian international Russell Teibert, who has been out with a hamstring strain. Therefore, as much as there are fingers to be pointed, some form of consolation must be given. As we near the end of the MLS regular season, it will
be a campaign to forget for all Whitecaps faithful, as their woes ultimately trumped their triumphs. Still, be sure to expect major amendments this offseason and a rejuvenated squad coming into March eager to make its mark.
like movies. Tickets will be presold online at www.eventbrite. ca , or via the clubs themselves, with a discounted admission of $10 for Douglas College students. If the event does not sell out in pre-sales, tickets will be sold at the door. However, with 1,000 available spots, it’s best to be safe and pre-buy. Although the event starts at 5 p.m., there will be a variety of League of Legends-themed Halloween events outside of the venue starting at 3 p.m. Food carts and entertainment stands will also be outside the venue for the event, almost similar to a night-market style. By hosting this style of event, the clubs involved are hoping to attract a larger community, grow their community, and potentially attract new members to their
clubs. The event is mainly nonprofit, with ticket money paying for the venue fee and equipment rental costs. In particular, according to the vice-president of the club, Jesse Hawker: “The Douglas College DSU E-Sports Club is hoping to gain exposure and recognition, allowing us to start running events of greater scale.” The event is projected to go until midnight, and the venue was purposely selected due to its close proximity to public transit. For more information on the event, you can access the event page through the club’s Facebook page: www.facebook. com/dsuesports/. You can also contact club president Brent Stant or Vice-president Jesse Hawker through the Facebook page as well.
Douglas DSU E-Sports Club co-hosts League of Legends viewing party ööDouglas joins a multitude of E-Sports clubs to host the yearly event Davie Wong Sports Editor
L
ike every sport aired on television, e-sports, particularly League of Legends, runs on a “season” based system. Every season spans two splits, similar to the baseball system. At the end of every split, the best teams in the region fight for “Championship Points” in a playoff format. At the end of the year, the top two or three teams in the region are invited to the World Championships, where they fight it out to see claim the title of “World Champions” and a rather handsome prize pool of money. Think of the World Championships like the FIFA World Cup in terms of tournament style.
Like any other sport, while viewership may wax and wane during the regular season, nearly every fan tunes in for the World Championship. In particular, similarly to the Superbowl or a game seven of the Stanley Cup Finals, the final series of the World Championship, dubbed the Worlds Finals, or Finals for short, generates the highest number of viewers. While anyone can watch via internet streaming, like most Final sporting events, people like to gather in one place with their friends or colleagues to watch the event. Last year, the UBC e-sports club managed to gather around 300–400 people on the UBC campus at 3 a.m. to watch the finals together, which were hosted in Korea. This year, all the e-sports clubs around
the Lower Mainland, including the Douglas College DSU E-Sports Club, have banded together to host one giant viewing party. The makeshift coalition of clubs has rented a 20,000 square feet venue in Richmond the night of the World Championship Finals in hopes of bringing out as many fans and club members as possible. This was mostly possible due to sponsors, who supplied the money, hardware, and discounts to make this all affordable. The clubs plan to stream the Finals and project it onto a large screen, much like a movie theatre. The seating will also be arranged in a movie theatre fashion, with priority being first come first serve. However, you will need a ticket to get into the screening of the Finals, much
Saturday, October 1: Versailles
Sunday, October 2: Westworld
Monday, October 3: Conviction, Timeless
Versailles is a new Anglo-French historical drama brought to life by David Wolstencroft and Simon Mirren. The story takes place in 1667, when King Louis XIV (George Blagden) is 28 years old. Louis is determined to build the grandest palace in Europe, all the while destroying his enemies and gaining more power.
Sometimes creators smash through genre boundaries and manage to come up with something unique. Westworld is one such show, being bot h a sci-fi and a western. Although it was inspired by Michael Crichton’s 1973 movie of the same name, a western sci-fi is not commonly found in the television world. The series, created by Jonathan Nolan and Lisa Joy, is set in a Wild West theme park created by Dr. Robert Ford (Anthony Hopkins). Within this theme park are human-like androids, and guests are encouraged to act out their fantasies and desires.
If you had the choice between joining a department that re-examines cases where there is suspicion of wrongful conviction, and going to jail, you’d probably choose the former. In Conviction, that’s exactly what Hayes Morrison (Hayley Atwell) does when she is blackmailed to take a job with the Conviction Integrity Unit, run by district attorney Wayne Wells (Eddie Cahill).
Timeless is a new action that focuses on a trio who time and prot ect history a machine is stolen. The trio machine engineer Rufus Delta Force soldier Wyatt history professor Lucy P One of the filming loca Boundary Bay Airport in De
WATCH What should I
Lauren Paulsen, Multimedia Editor
A guide to Autumn’s new television shows
The Fall show lineup is here! Television networks have been posting all of their new shows, b
We are here to guide you through all of the new television shows that are coming out during about time-travelers and savage mutants, to hilarious sitcoms, reality series, and relatable fa
Monday, October 10: Freakish, Vice News Tonight
Following Divorce, a second half-hour comedy series, Insecure, premiered on HBO. Written and starring Issa Rae, it follows a black woman as she awkwardly stumbles through life. Rae wanted to create a series that would explore the black female experience in an authentic way without being cliché, and the new show is partially based on Rae’s web series Awkward Black Girl.
Teens + chemical plant accident + savage mutants = Freakish. In the aftermath of a meltdown at the local chemical plant, a group of high schoolers need to survive the new predatory mutants that have taken over their small town. Although Freakish premiers on Hulu, which is currently unavailable in Canada, those resourceful people who want their horror fix this Halloween can find a way to watch this new 10episode series.
Tuesday, October 11: Am
What is the new generation of news going to look like? Check out VICE News Tonight to find out. Promising news that has no filters and gets to the gritty truth, this new nightly show can be found five days a week on HBO. The creators, from Vice.com, have been nominated for several Emmys and have won 13 Webbys. VICE News Tonight should appeal greatly to the younger generation, and, as a bonus, it has no ads.
The moms in the wealthy perfect—except for Katie O is ABC’s new laugh-out-l strong-willed mot her (Kat her “flawed” family in a to fection. This sitcom, which Second Fattest Housewi Katie’s narrative voice-ov set-up.
Wednesday, October 12: Cold War Armageddon, That Awkward Game Show
Thursday, October 13: Acting Out, The Almost Impossible Game Show, Failing Water, Mo
How much do you know about the Cold War? Cold War Armageddon, a new documentary, takes viewers back to when nuclear weapons kept the entire world on edge, when WWII ended and a new type of war began. This five-part series explores one of the greatest power struggles in history and how it changed the world forever.
Do you like hilarious game shows? Then you should check out Spike’s new That Awkward Game Show, where parents and their adult children compete for a cash prize, all the while learning some of the most ridiculously shocking truths about each ot her. Host and comedian Jeff Dye will reveal the uncomfortable and embarrassing secrets.
Produced by A Smith & Co. Productions (Hell’s Kitchen, American Ninja Warrior), is new comedy series Acting Out, which will air on MTV. This new comedy series features bot h established and new comedians, who act out their best stand-up routines.
Saturday, October 15: Downtown Shabby
Sunday, October 16: Berlin Station, Eyewitness, Graves
There are thousands of old, vintage homes that look beautiful on the outside, but bear hidden horrors within. In the new Downtown Shabby reality renovation series, design experts and couple Frank and Sherry Fontana battle the various horrors inside, including dry rot , weak foundations, and even termites, to not only make these homes livable, but beautiful again.
Berlin Station, an original series, is a spy thriller. Richard Armitage plays Daniel Meyer/Miller, who has been sent to Berlin to uncover a mole in the CIA who supplied sensitive information to the now-famous whistleblower Thomas Shaw. Berlin Station promises to provide a suspenseful look into the controversial topic of spies vs. whistle blowers.
Youtube star Colleen Ballinger-Evans is bringing her Miranda Sings character to Netflix this season with Haters Back Off. In this outrageously funny new eight-episode series, find out how Miranda became famous, how she responds to her haters, and ultimately how she wants to follow her dreams. Like ot her Netflix shows, the full season will be released at once.
Anot her new game show t The Almost Impossible Ga Wipeout, this British sho they try to complete variou ing eggs with a hammer at set amount of time, and bo on a space hopper.
Eyewitness is a new Ame on the Norwegian series Ø the adaptation to this crim a single, grisly crime from eyewitnesses. Filmed in P cast for this new series inc Christie, Julianne Nicholson Young.
n-adventure sci-fi drama o needs to travel through as we know it after a time o is made up of the time Carlin (Malcolm Barrett), Logan (Matt Lanter) and Preston (Abigail Spencer). ations for Timeless was elta.
Tuesday, October 4: No Tomorrow
Wednesday, October 5: Frequency
Sunday, October 9: Divorce, Insecure
Based on the Brazilian show Como Aproveitar o Fim do Muendo (which translates to “How to enjoy the end of the world”), No Tomorrow is a new comedy romance. The show features Evie (Tori Anderson), a cautious young woman who works at a distribution center, and the thrill-seeking, free-spirited Xavier (Joshua Sasse), who lives his life the way he does because he believes an apocalypse is coming.
Anot her new show featuring time-travelling this season is Frequency, which is based on the 2000 film of the same name. In this adaptation, Detective Raimy Sullivan (Peyton List) discovers that she can communicate with her estranged father Frank (Riley Smith) through his old ham radio. There’s just one issue: Frank died in 1996 while working as an undercover cop. The two need to work together to change the tragic events to come, and also heal the rift in their complicated relationship. Frequency was filmed in Vancouver.
Divorce is a new comedy series starring Sarah Jessica Parker and Thomas Haden Church. It follows the couple through their long, drawn out divorce— how it impacts them, their children, and everyone else around them. Sharon Horgan, the creator of the new HBO series, wanted to not only focus on the couple, but also the intricacies of the industry and all of the people involved in a couple’s divorce. The new show should resonate well with anyone who has ever been impacted by divorce.
H THIS FALL? Check out trailers for the fall shows at the OtherPress on
but the flood of new content can be overwhelming. Where do you start? Why not right here?
g October. Some are already out, but if they sound interesting you’ll only have one or two episodes to catch up on. With a wide range of genres, from dramas amily dramas, October has something new for everyone.
merican Housewife, Channel Zero, The Letter, Ben & Lauren: Happily Ever After?
town of Westport are all Otto. American Housewife loud comedy, following a ty Mixon) trying to raise own of cookie-cutter perh was originally titled The fe in Westport, features ver and a single camera
Welcome to your regularly scheduled nightmare: Channel Zero. Subtitled Candle Cove, Syfy’s new horror show is about a disturbing children’s television program that makes the kids who watch it do things… Containing six episodes, the first season is based on Kris Straub’s Creepypasta with the same name.
Zelda Williams will be narrating the new reality relationship show The Letter. Each episode features a cast of four best friends who each draw one of their friend’s names. They then write an anonymous letter to that person that honestly explains their opinion of what their friend needs to do and change in order to improve their life. For the next week, each friend will need to follow all of the rules and instructions in the letter they received. Will friendships strengthen or crumble when the authors are revealed?
Friday, October 14: Goliath, Haters Back Off
oney. Power. Respect
to come out this season is ame Show. Similar to Tot al ow follows contestants as us games, such as smashtached to their helmet in a ouncing across a treadmill
erican drama series based Øyevitne. Adi Hasak wrot e me drama, which explores m the points of view of the Parry Sound, Ontario, the cludes Gil Bellows, Warren n, James Paxton, and Tyler
Fans who couldn’t get enough of season 20 of The Bachelor can continue to follow Ben Higgins and his fiancée Lauren Bushnell in their new reality show Ben & Lauren: Happily Ever After? Will these two lovebirds see thorns or roses in their fu ture?
What if all of our individual dreams are actually part of one big dream that we are all dreaming together? That is the premise behind the new mind-bending Falling Water, where three strangers figure out they are sharing a collective dream, and that the fu ture of the world lies with them and their connections to each ot her. The series is emot ionally charged and aims to take the viewers on a journey. The late Henry Bromell co-created the pilot for this series with Blake Masters before he died.
Nick Nolte stars in the new political satire Graves. The story centers on former president Richard Graves. Twenty years after his presidency, he starts questioning some of his poor decisions, and realizes that some of the things he did as president were so wrong that he needs to speak out and right them. Brought into the show are some real life politicians playing themselves, including Michael Steele, Barney Frank, and Rudy Giuliani.
Money. Power. Respect. is a new reality series that follows the attorneys behind some of the hip-hop industry’s biggest names. It follows six women as they try to get ahead in the industry, sometimes helping one anot her and at ot her times attempting to claw each ot hers’ eyes out. Featured in the series are entertainment lawyer Wendy Credle, intellectual property attorney Kendell Kelly, trial attorney Dana Whitfield, general counsel attorney Kelly Shapiro, fashion attorney Nakia Thomas, and entertainment attorney Tiffany Ballard.
Billy McBride (Billy Bob Thornton) used to be one of the best trial lawyers ever, until his wife left him and he started drinking. Goliath follows his story as he reluctantly agrees to pursue a wrongful death lawsuit, but finds himself in a life or death trial against the ultimate Goliath after he uncovers a vast and deadly conspiracy. This thrilling legal drama also stars William Hurt, Maria Bello, Olivia Thirlby, Dwight Yoakam, Sarah Wynter, and Molly Parker.
Monday, October 17: Desus & Mero
Wednesday, October 19: Chance
Desus Nice and the Kid Mero, the duo behind the podcast Bodega Boys, are getting their own talk show on VICELAND. Desus & Mero will air four nights a week, Monday through Thursday, and cover daily news and culture with their own unique delivery.
Hugh Laurie stars as anot her doctor in the new series Chance. But although they may bot h be doctors, Dr. Eldon Chance is very different from Dr. Gregory House. From the best-selling author Kem Nunn, and Lenny Abrahamson, the Academy Award-nominated director of Room, Chance is a psychological thriller that follows the forensic neuropsychiatrist as he enters the world of “mistaken identity, police corruption, and mental illness.” It will run for 10 episodes, and be available on Hulu.
theotherpress.ca
sports // no. 14
Fitness centre to introduce new changes in the coming year Jamal Al-Baya Staff Writer
A
s Douglas College enters a new year, the Athletics department and Student Engagement have introduced a series of changes to the fitness center and fitness programs at Douglas, with more changes to come as the year moves forward. Partially in partnership with the City of Coquitlam, the college is offering free spin classes at their fitness facilities in Coquitlam on a daily basis, and nominally priced spin classes at their New Westminster campus studio three times a week. For a student, the cost is only two dollars. Anna Schachner, Wellness and Recreation Coordinator for Douglas College, said that the school got the bikes in partnership with Coquitlam for a couple of reasons. Not only did the college want to be able to provide a higher variety of fitness classes to the college population, but they also wanted to find classes that would resonate specifically with the student crowd, since the majority of fitness class users on both campuses are either outside of the college entirely, or are employees of Douglas itself.
Douglas College is also following industry trends, said Schachner. With a number of studios following the growing trend, the move was important in staying relevant for their fitness class users. According to Google Trends, Canada is the country that searches for “spin class” more than anywhere else in the world, and daily global searches for the term have increased by as much as five times the 2004 numbers. Despite this, student attendance rates for these classes and fitness classes at Douglas in general have been struggling. The college also introduces Angelo Trinidad as a personal trainer and point-person for the fitness center. Already a certified personal trainer, peer health educator, and fitness center employee, the services that he’s now doing are ideally suited to his skill set and the needs of the college. “[Trinidad] is running free, hour and a half long sessions at the fitness center for any students who are intimidated by the idea of going to the gym because they don’t know how to use the equipment,” Schachner said. “In the session they cover machines, cardio, and the more functional exercises with the dumbbells, and if any questions
Image staticflickr.com
ööA breakdown of the changes happening
arise, he’s there to help.” With a group size limit of four, it allows him to pay attention to everyone and provide quality help where it’s needed. The program is doing well. “A lot of people who have had a session with him come in later on their own and that’s awesome,” said Schachner. “For me, I always like seeing new students using the fitness center. With Angelo offering these sessions I think more people will be encouraged and feel confident enough to use the it. I hope we see a good enough mix of students, from first-year to fifth-
year students from different academic backgrounds.” Ultimately, these projects and others are a part of the college’s goal of making Douglas one that prioritizes the health of their students. Exercise, as Schachner puts it, is good for mental health, concentration, mood, grades, and it promotes a healthy body and lifestyle. To continually improve the fitness center and aerobic studio’s performance, specifically at the New Westminster campus where they have control of their facilities, a 22-question survey has been
drafted and is being distributed by the Athletics Department and Student Engagement. In the survey, questions about equipment usage, space preferences, fitness experience, and training goals are covered. The goal of the survey is to gain more information on the exercising habits of Douglas College students, so that any changes or improvements to the facilities (such as new equipment, longer hours, and new programs) are targeted at the people who would most benefit from their introduction.
The Royals were disenchanted, but not disheartened. After all, with that loss, their playoff chances were on the line as well. Sunday’s game was another tough battle for the men. A hard tackle gave the Falcons a free kick, which they converted into a goal for an early lead. Down, but not out, the Royals did their best to overturn the deficit, but could not find any luck. Royals’ fifthyear winger hit the crossbar and Max Williams put the rebound over just before the half could end, leaving the Royals trailing heading into half time. After some words of “encouragement” from Coach Robby Toor, the team took to the field in the second half to try their luck again. Luck found them in the form of a header off a corner from Race Williams, and just like that, the game was equalized. But lady luck is so fickle, and the Royals saw several of their chances hit the woodwork or swivel just wide
at the last moment. Fortunately for them, Mateo Serka makes his own luck, and he found a way to get a ball behind the Langara keeper for the goahead goal right at the very end of the game off a free kick from Race Williams. It was a moment of deja-vu for those who remembered the first game these two rivals played, but for the Royals, it was enough. The goal was close enough to the end of the game to give the Royals some confidence, but left enough time for Langara to run the ball down the field for one last go. A missed corner gave the Royals the game as the ball was hoofed out of play and the final whistle was blown. Coach Robby Toor took some time after the game to talk about his team snapping their losing streak. “It was good to get the win today. The guys battled. We’ve been short numbered for a number of weeks now and it’s good to see that we put ourselves out there today and played with heart and
passion. The last three games haven’t been easy. We haven’t always been able to battle back, but we look at the last three games as true tests of our character. It’s very easy to fold the tent and call it a season when you’re going that direction, but the guys dug deep.” The game snaps the team’s three-game losing streak and gives them a solid shot at the playoffs, with it being nearly impossible for Langara to catch them. However, Coach Toor warns against complacency for his team. “Your first goal is to qualify for provincials to compete for the provincial cup, so we’ve almost checked that box off. Now we just move on and prepare for each game. Even though we’ve pretty much qualified for a playoff spot it doesn’t mean we take these three games off. These games are our preparation games and our positional games to see where we stand going into the PACWEST Provincials.”
On a high note ööMen’s soccer takes three points Davie Wong Sports Editor
I
t’s been an undeniably tough midseason for the Royals men’s soccer team. Getting thrashed by the Quest Kermodes and then getting spanked by the Capilano Blues is never something one wants to read in the same sentence, but it’s a reality for this team. The Royals squad has struggled for a couple of weeks now. They just can’t get the results they want, or even close to it. This week, against the Langara Falcons, the team had a real chance to snap that streak. The lowly Falcons sit at the bottom of the PACWEST table, and had not yet won a game on the season. It was supposed to be an easy win for the Royals, and it looked like it would be, too. Right out of the gate of Saturday’s game, the Royals put the Falcons into a two-goal hole. It was the perfect start for the
momentum-driven Royals. Early goals were the team’s specialty, and they capitalized perfectly. But momentum is a fickle beast. As quick as the Royals earned the lead, they also lost it. It started with a single goal from the Falcons, then a second, and then a third. Then the Royals were down, and if it’s anything this team has had trouble doing, it’s climbing out of a deficit. All the training in the world hasn’t changed that this season, and it looked like this game wouldn’t either, but Mateo Serka had something else in mind for the Royals. He would lead the charge into the Falcons’ half with five minutes left of the clock, and it would be he that put away the game tying goal. It was a thrilling comeback, but ultimately not meant to be. The Falcons would answer right back only a few moments later with the gamewinning goal to snag their first win, and give the Royals their third loss in a row.
Have an idea for a story? lifeandstyle@theotherpress.ca
OO Listed: three tips for essay writing
L ife & Style Beauty on a budget: Revlon Volume +
OO Hot cocktails you’ll Fall for
OO Where’d you get them peepers? And more!
Length and Dramatic Definition mascara ööNew Revlon line delivers on its promises
R
ecently, Revlon released a line of five colour-coded mascaras, each with a different purpose. After researching each type, I decided that the best two choices for me were the purple and blue ones; Dramatic Definition and Volume + Length, respectively. Dramatic Definition promises long and defined lashes—and it delivers. It’s a wired brush with long, thin bristles, meant to separate your lashes while you apply. I usually use mascaras with plastic applicators because of my success with CoverGirl’s Clump Crusher, but this performed similarly due to the style of the brush. This is my favourite kind of mascara, as it results in more natural-looking lashes without any clumping together. It definitely does what it promises
well, but provides a little less drama than Volume + Length. Volume + Length was more of a wild card for me, with its large, densely wired brush. Both of those things sound great, but I rarely use mascaras with this brush type. However, I was massively impressed with it. It both volumizes and lengthens, giving me very dramatic eyelashes. I have recently been using CoverGirl’s Super Sizer when I want more drama, but it clumps my lashes so badly I have to run through them after with my Clump Crusher brush. Volume + Length provides nearly as much drama by itself with no worries about clumping, at least on my lashes. The other three options in the line are the red All-inOne, which has a small, precise plastic brush meant to get to every lash; the pink Ultra Volume, which has a two-tiered wire brush meant to prevent clumping; and the green Super
Length, which has a large brush meant to cover and lengthen every lash with special fibres. The packaging for the line is really aesthetically pleasing. The matte finish on the black body looks great, and the dramatic colour on the lids makes them easy to tell apart, and quite striking. However, they are a bit on the large side, as they’re wider than most mascaras. I like Dramatic Definition, but I couldn’t recommend Volume + Length more highly. It can be very dramatic, or it can be used more sparingly for a softer, more natural look. It will definitely be my go-to going forward, and easily replace Super Sizer. Although not as cheap as some products I cover here, these work incredibly well for the money. At Shoppers Drug Mart, they were each selling for $13.99, but Wal-Mart has them for $8.96. If you’re in the market for new mascara, definitely give one of these a try.
Image via thinkstock
Lauren Kelly Editor-in-Chief
Weightlifting for noobs with boobs ööGetting fit and having fun, just like Joanne McLeod
F
or millennia, women have been running, cycling, swimming, dancing, and ellipticalling to keep their bodies sleek, slim, and slippery. Moving a lot very quickly (a.k.a. cardio) is a socially acceptable and popular form of female exercise. All that pulmonary exertion is exactly why women have such strong, nurturing hearts. If you are craving an ounce of masculinity in your workout routine (besides the poster of Michael Cera across from your yoga mat on your bedroom wall), or if you just prefer sitting and getting fit, weightlifting could be for you! The first thing you need to know about weightlifting is that you will not lose your boobs and you will not look like a “linebacker.” According to the internet, you can still maintain your feminine physique and also train to be able to lift up an actual linebacker and throw him against a brick wall. Your female
secondary sex characteristics will remain as long as you have lots of estrogen, either produced by your ovaries or taken in pill form. This was a disappointment to me because my personal fitness goal was to get moderately butch. Once I learned that the closest I could achieve was mild to low-femme, I quit and went out to buy Joe Fresh’s selection of button down shirts (that part is not a joke, you guys). In my brief but enlightening experience, I learned a few key things that might entice other boobed people to try lifting something heavier than their fatty cat.
1.
Our brains produce fancy chemical call en-dolphins (endorphins). These cheerful things swim around the murky polluted sea of your brain during and after exercise. They are completely boring compared to the exciting highs achievable via drugs and caffeine, but are apparently a lot healthier for you. I noticed
girlfriend’s Instagram photos, you might not realize their full range of capabilities. Email me at layout@ theotherpress.ca if you figure out what they do, so that I know if it is at all useful.
Image via thinkstock
Cara Seccafien Layout Manager
an invasion of them after lifting a purple dumbbell up and down for about 13 minutes. Then I enjoyed them while gently napping.
2.
You have muscles all over your arms and they all do different things. You have
muscles that connect your shoulder to your arm, ones that connect your wrist to your forearm, ya-da ya-da. If you are like me, and you usually use these muscles to type hilariously romantic comments on your
3.
Weightlifting can make your bones stronger and prevent osteoporosis. It’s a fact that women get osteoporosis a lot. If you’ve been chugging a carton of milk every morning, and recently found out you’re lactose intolerant, and also recently found out that ice cream contains lactose too, weight lifting might be for you.
4.
Men like girls that can open pickle jars. This fact is currently unconfirmed, so I suggest you do your own research. I think this might have less to do with pickles, and more to do with the doors your strength opens in the way of S&M. Again, email me if you figure out the details.
theotherpress.ca
life & style // no. 16
The monastery: Fall on the sword ööDealing with backslides
A
nybody who tells you that changing your habits is easy is lying, especially if that person is you. There’s a very definite reason why “thinner thighs in thirty days” plans don’t often work, and it’s not because squats are ineffective calisthenics. People seeking to change habits they no longer desire often find themselves in a four-week cycle, give or take. The subject’s first week is full of Yes-I-Can enthusiasm. In the second, the new habit takes more conscious effort to maintain. It grates. In the third week, the new habit starts dropping off. In the fourth, the old, undesirable habit reemerges in force, and the subject will either begin again the next week, or give up entirely. This is almost unavoidable for most people who are used to unconsciously maintaining undesired habits. Substituting a new habit and maintaining it through force of will is extremely challenging, and it usually takes a few tries to get right. Do not
think that maintaining the new habit will remain difficult— after four unbroken weeks of dedication it actually gets much easier because the new habit becomes unconscious. Having experienced the fourweek cycle myself, I can say for certain that it is a necessary step on the way to your new habit. In persisting through multiple cycles, I found that I was able to maintain them for longer periods of time, and with less effort on my part. In the case of weight training, I spent a long time trying to train at home with my own equipment, but I was only able to commit fully when I entered the gym—aside from the positive environment, making a commitment to the other people at the gym was a great source of motivation. So, don’t allow yourself to be thrown into existential despair because you break an impressive streak or revert to an old pattern. Instead of hurling yourself on your upturned sword in disgrace like Brutus before you, take stock of the circumstances under which you faltered, and resolve to avoid that pothole in the future.
Image via thinkstock
Adam Tatelman Arts Editor
Listed: three tips for essay writing 1.
Do a skeletal structure of your essay. In point form, list out each body paragraph or argument for your thesis, and bullet point some of the points you’d like to make within each of those arguments. This is especially helpful if you find it difficult to maintain your thesis throughout your essay, or if you’re forced to work on the essay in small increments due to work or other school obligations, as it will act like a list that you can simply check off, or turn to in the event you need to remind yourself of where you are. It will also help ensure that nothing is forgotten if you have specific points you need to hit.
D
Share your photos with us on twitter using the hashtag #DougLife, for a chance to be featured in the paper!
o you have trouble focussing on essay writing? Here’s a list of ways you can improve your abilities.
2. Colour-code your quotes. If you’re doing a really long essay, you might find it helpful to use different highlighters to keep track of what quotes you want to use and where to put them. This is extremely useful if you have trouble linking arguments, or if you need to work on your transition sentences because depending on the text, multiple points or themes could be made in a single quote. Taking advantage of this is paramount to making your essays flow smoother.
3. Strip notes. In the event of a compare and contrast or a research essay, where you will be required to use multiple texts, I often find it helpful to copy the quotes I want to use onto an index card. Doing so will allow you to rearrange the quotes and play with how they function both with and against each other. You can even add little notes as to what your intention for that quote was, which will help when you get to the actual writing part. Essentially what this does is create a giant puzzle that you can fit together how you like, giving you the best chance at getting your point across clearly.
Image via thinkstock
Brittney MacDonald Life & Style Editor
#DOUGLIFE
This week’s photo is by Emily Nicole Lee
life & style // no. 17
issue 6 // volume 43
Where’d you get them peepers?
Hot cocktails you’ll Fall for ööWarm up this autumn with these tempting taste-ables!
ööSpectacles: Snapchat’s newest accessory
Brittney MacDonald Life & Style Editor
Brittney MacDonald Life and Style Editor
Illustration by Ed Appleby
C
½ cup boiling water
¾ cup hot mint tea
¼ cup whiskey
¼ cup gin
chocolate package
3 whole cloves
1 tsp lemon juice
Replace the recommended
½ tsp cinnamon
1 tsp cranberry sauce
amount of water with milk
1 lemon wedge
I call this recipe “modified” because traditionally a Hot n’ Cold calls for a homemade cranberry simple syrup instead of cranberry sauce, but I’m lazy and I never plan my cocktails far enough ahead to make a simple syrup. Besides that, just think of it as one more way to use up the leftovers in your fridge— happy belated Thanksgiving to you! Combine the mint tea and the cranberry sauce in a mug. You can use prepackaged mint tea or make your own with fresh mint, either way is good. Make sure the sauce emulsifies before adding in the gin and lemon juice. Stir and enjoy!
Image via thinkstock
Start with the honey in the bottom of a mug. Pour the hot water over top and stir until it melts slightly, then slowly add in the rest of the ingredients. Make sure you prick the lemon wedge with a fork or toothpick before letting it steep in the cocktail. Stir gently, and enjoy. This cocktail is great if you have a cold or the flu because it will clear out your sinuses as well as warm you up.
Modern Aztec Hot Chocolate 1 instant hot
½ tsp cinnamon ½ tsp ancho chili powder 1 tsp bittersweet chocolate chips ¼ mescal or tequila In a sauce pan over a medium hot burner, heat the milk. Stir constantly until it begins to steam just slightly. While continuing to stir gently, add in the instant hot chocolate powder, the chili powder, the cinnamon, and the chocolate chips. Continue to stir until there are no clumps and the chocolate chips have all melted. Transfer the hot chocolate to a large mug and pour in the mescal or tequila. Stir it until the booze is evenly distributed throughout. Be warned, this drink is super rich and very chocolatey so you might want to save it for dessert.
Image via www.gottabemobile.com
1 pinch ground nutmeg
Image viaseriouseats.com
1 tsp honey
Modified Hot n’ Cold
Hot Toddy
an’t get enough of your Snapchat? Do you treasure every little moment that tiny ghost is on your screen, and delight in the idea of sharing random tidbits of your life with your dearest friends and followers? Well, Snap Inc., the masterminds behind the app phenomenon, has decided to add some companion hardware to their catalogue in the form of a pair of stylish, user-friendly, video-enabled sunglasses. Spectacles, as they’ve been titled, will connect directly to your Snapchat app, and will be capable of recording live video in 10-second increments with a maximum length of 30 seconds. According to Snap Inc. the videos will not be sent out to everyone on your friends list, and instead be available in your Memories, allowing you to send them out later if you so choose. For those of you who are more photography or
videography savvy, the camera itself will be a 115 degree lens—a choice intended to replicate the first person perspective and offer a more legitimate “see what I see” experience. For the camera shy: Do not worry, as the sunglasses will be equipped with an outward facing light to let anyone around know that they are being recorded. The sunglasses themselves will be capable of storing the videos you record until they can transfer them to your phone via Bluetooth or WiFi, and Snap Inc. claims that you should have a full 24-hour battery life before you’ll need to recharge the Spectacles. With an initial price point of $130, they do seem like a fairly pricey niche accessory— though admittedly, $130 isn’t much compared to the cost of other higher-end sunglasses. The glasses themselves will be unisex and available in teal, coral, and black; and will most likely be released in time for the holiday season.
Have an idea for a story? opinions@theotherpress.ca
O pinions Don’t make jokes about
OO Tragic events show the problem with Creep Catchers OO Why you should watch more movies OO Why ‘Any questions?’ isn’t the question teachers should be asking And more!
celebrities being harmed
ööThey’re people deserving of respect
R
ecently, Kim Kardashian was held up at gunpoint in a hotel in Paris by masked robbers. They stole over $11 million worth of jewellery from her while she was gagged, bound, and locked in the bathroom. Kim has been severely impacted by the event, with her husband Kanye West delaying parts of his concert tour to look after her. Kim is an often hated-on celebrity. She is famous for being famous, shallow, and extremely rich. She’s at a much different level socially and economically than even many of her fellow A-list celebrities. She’s not my favourite famous person either—but I’m still deeply troubled and horrified when this kind of thing happens. Kim initially thought she was going to be raped when the intruders entered. This is the worst fear and harshest reality for women everywhere. Kim was emotionally traumatized,
held hostage, and invaded in her private residence. It is a life-altering event for her and her loved ones. The personal circumstances of the victim or crime are unimportant here. Kim had $11 million stolen from her, which is only a small fraction of her net worth. But money is irrelevant in this kind of situation. Kim does not deserve any of what she is going through. It doesn’t matter how rich, famous, unsympathetic to mere mortals, or personally hated by you she is. Kim is a human being who was assaulted and traumatized by criminals. I (obviously) wouldn’t wish what she’s going through on any of my loved ones, nor would I wish it on my worst enemy. The jokes and quips made by generally awful people are part of a bigger problem. Too often, we devalue a celebrity’s humanity and worthby their image. Every time a beloved celebrity dies, I hear jokes that “God should have taken Justin Bieber/Kim Kardashian/a celebrity I dislike” instead. This
is wishing death on people. This is trivializing a tragic and serious issue. Nobody deserves to die, and no one deserves to feel afraid for their safety or boundaries. We don’t know these celebrities personally. We can have valid opinions on their personalities based on their actions, which are naturally highlighted due to their being public figures. However, I doubt the people who make these jokes would say them to Kim Kardashian’s face. I also doubt that they truly believe or realize the intent behind what they’re saying. Certainly, some people are literally The Worst and really are that awful towards other human beings. But mostly, it’s failing to examine what we really stand for and believe about others. Take accountability for your words. Understand the true intent of what you wish on your fellow human beings. Have compassion when horrible things happen to others, even if they’re people you don’t respect or care for. Everyone deserves sympathy and support after a serious event.
Image via wikimedia
Cazzy Lewchuk Opinions Editor
‘Not All Men’ ööThe problem with male feminism Jessica Berget Contributor n the midst of October and with Halloween coming up I thought I’d talk about the three things that scare me the most: Snakes, spiders, and male feminists. As a woman and a selfentitled feminist killjoy, there are few things that irk me more than seeing a movement that advocates for women’s rights and freedoms being discussed by a cisgender, straight, white male, or any cisgender male for that matter. Male feminists should know that men have the power dynamic over women in any situation, because we live in an inherently misogynistic society. Even, sadly, in feminist communities. This means that opinions on feminism and how women handle their oppression are often taken more seriously coming from a man than a woman. Some male feminists
Image via thinkstock
I
utilize the label to justify sexist behaviour, to impress women, or to use the attention of women as a seal of approval in the feminist community. Which brings me to my main point: Beware of male feminists. It seems women can’t escape oppression even within their own movement. Men advocating for basic women’s rights are often seen as more remarkable than any woman who calls herself a feminist, as any woman advocating for their own rights is
not seen as unusual or significant by virtue of their gender. Across all social movements, the issue at hand is often not viewed as valid until it is supported by members of the “other side.” Men speaking on feminism would be like me, a white woman, speaking on the Black Lives Matter movement. I support it, but it is not my place to speak on the experiences of black men and women living in an inherently racist and Eurocentric society. I recognize my privilege as a
white woman and I understand that my opinion may be more highly regarded on the matter, therefore I do not speak for it. So why can’t male feminists do the same? Calling yourself a feminist does not mean the work is done. I myself am constantly reeducating, and re-evaluating my place in the feminist community and recognizing my place and privilege in it as a white woman. Similarly to how men advocating for women’s rights gives more attention to the
movement, women who dismiss or belittle feminism can be used to justify the sexist beliefs of others. Many men only respect the views of women when they are passive and non-controversial, or when they support their sexist ideals. They don’t respect when these views challenge them on their behaviour. Most men only respect and agree with the arguments of another man, as the opposing opinion of a woman is seen to hold less value. She is always presumed to know less about the subject, even when it is directly relevant to her experiences. So women, heed thy warning. Beware men who tell you what it means to be a feminist. Beware men who read this article and insist that “not all men are like that.” Beware men who think they know more about feminism than you do. A man is never more potentially dangerous than when he claims to be a feminist.
opinions // no. 19
issue 6 // volume 43
Should cigarettes be illegal? ööThe regulation of deadly cancer sticks
Why the ‘Blair Witch Project’ is an awful movie
ööAmateur production and box office success does not equal good Cazzy Lewchuk Opinions Editor
T
he Blair Witch Project was made on a budget of $60,000. It went on to gross $248 million at the box office, making it one of the most successful and profitable films ever. One of the original “found footage” movies, it tells the story of three students who enter the woods to search for the mysterious “Blair Witch.” They quickly become lost, panicked, and stalked by an unseen force. It’s widely considered one of the best horror movies of the last few decades. Except that it isn’t. The Blair Witch Project isn’t scary or entertaining. It’s a boring, amateur, low-budget, disappointing horror flick. The Blair Witch Project may have been original and edgy when it first came out, but a successful viral marketing campaign and vague “it’s real” atmosphere (it’s not real) do not contribute to a lasting legacy. The movie’s plot is just people running around in the woods
and freaking out. One of them goes missing. Strange symbols appear. They find the tooth of the one who goes missing in a mysterious box. One of them has an iconic mental breakdown in a close-up of her face. At the disappointing end (spoiler alert!) they find an abandoned cabin. Inside is their missing friend against the wall—as well as some sort of evil presence. We don’t get to see exactly what it is. (A ghost? A murderer? The Blair Witch herself?). Instead, the girl screams, drops the camera, and we cut to black. All that build-up with no reveal at all. We don’t know what happened to these people, or what the Blair Witch looks like. I first watched this movie when I was a kid, and I hated it even then. I’ve sat through it again since, and it’s still nauseating in more ways than one. Like with many found footage movies, “shaky cam” happens a lot. If you’re not getting motion sickness from the camera work, you’re getting confused, bored, and annoyed by the plot. Why all this
build-up with no real climax? Why start with mythology at the beginning and then not explain it by the end? The Blair Witch Project may have captured audiences in the ’90s before the genre was common, but today it’s forgettable, and just a bad example of the genre. Just because something was a pioneer, doesn’t mean it has to be good. If you’re going to watch horror movies for Halloween (see my recommendations in this issue and other October editions of the Other Press), be sure to skip this one. A direct sequel entitled Blair Witch recently came out. Although highly anticipated, reviews show it was basically a re-hash of the first one, and just as unsatisfying in all the same ways. It’s no surprise this franchise follow-up failed twice (another sequel in 2000 was even worse), but it is disappointing. Also—how did they run out of food and all other supplies, but they managed to keep the camera going the whole time? Come on.
or in crowded public areas, like parks. Other regulated substances are prohibited, except in private areas. Why can you smoke in public, but you can’t drink a beer? Why can you buy cigarettes at 7-Eleven, but you can’t buy a joint? Why can you buy a carton of cigarettes at the same pharmacy where prescription drugs are on a time-delay because of their harmful and addictive effects? There’s a lot of hypocrisy in tobacco laws due to the popularity of cigarettes, and lobbying. Thankfully, they’re now more restricted than they ever have been. It remains to be seen what the best way to help people stop smoking is, or how much more cigarettes can be regulated, but there’s no doubt that a lot fewer people smoke than in the past. Regulation really does save lives.
Tragic events show the problem with Creep Catchers ööWhy vigilantism doesn’t work Cazzy Lewchuk Opinions Editor
I
n an earlier article, I talked about why the Creep Catcher vigilante team’s activities are wrong. Vigilantism is extremely dangerous in many ways, for all parties involved. It was only a matter of time before someone got seriously hurt, or worse. Unfortunately, the news has proven me right. Less than a month after being showcased on a Creep Catchers video allegedly trying to lure a young girl for sex at her own home, Katelynn McKnight, 27, committed suicide. A family member confirmed that Katelynn thought her death would “be honourable and bring change.” Katelynn was mentally ill and had many personal problems. It is possible her death was not directly caused by Creep Catchers, but it surely contributed to her depressive state and personal demons. A father-figure to her, who took her in when she needed help, wrote on Facebook: “[…] the unbearable humiliation of being ia wa m b a .co m
They are not healthy in any way, nor do they even give the intoxicating effect that other substances do. All they do is decrease withdrawal symptoms. Plus, they taste terrible. Cigarettes are highly addictive, and as such highly in demand. Millions of Canadians smoke, and over a billion people do worldwide. Tobacco is a multi-billion dollar industry. I don’t think outlawing cigarettes would be feasible,
ge v
quantities at government stores for any adult to buy. The government regulates many substances for our health and safety. Some are no doubt more dangerous than others. Many legal drugs are abused, and many illegal drugs are widely considered safe and recreational. The logic of why certain substances are illegal and others are sold in most stores is baffling. There are very few positive qualities for cigarettes.
Screenshot of the Blair Witch Project
moking is one of the deadliest habits there is. Thousands of people in Canada and millions of people around the world die every year because of smoking cigarettes, both from their own habit as well as exposure to second-hand smoke. Nicotine is one of the most addictive substances there is. Studies show that nicotine addiction can be just as powerful, if not more so, than addiction to heroin. That cigarettes and tobacco products have many harmful effects has been proven, repeatedly. It is a well-known fact: Smoking highly increases your chances of getting cancer, heart disease, and many other diseases. While it’s illegal for minors to buy cigarettes, they are freely available in unlimited
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or popular. Cigarettes are some of the most harmful substances in existence, but also some of the most popularly abused. Very few people who smoke do it casually or do so without some sort of habit. I would support cigarette harm reduction being encouraged, which is already implemented in some aspects. Cigarettes are already expensive, but maybe they should be even more so. Smoking costs the health care system millions each year in treating smokers and second-hand smoke victims. If you choose to smoke, you are not just harming yourself. You are annoying (and in some cases, hurting) those around you who are exposed to the smoke. Designated smoking areas and laws exist, but they are often not followed. Some people smoke at bus stops, while walking down the sidewalk,
Ima
Cazzy Lewchuk Opinions Editor
publicly labeled as a pedophile unable to leave the house for fear of being attacked was just one of the many things that pushed her over the edge.” It is a reminder of the dangers of conflict with strangers. It demonstrates why some things are better left to the proper authorities, who have experience in dealing with the mentally ill. Certainly, mentally ill people are not always treated properly by the police, but they also don’t have their cases posted on the internet, nor are they shamed via public accusations. The Creep Catchers ruined a mentally ill person’s life to the point that she ended it. One anonymous member of the group has spoken out and left the group after the incident. The Creep Catchers have humiliated and shamed many more people, some of whom are mentally ill and are not being subject to a fair process for their alleged behaviour. Hopefully, no more deaths will result from the ambush. It’s definitely a sign things got out of control, and how serious the Creep Catchers’ behaviour really is.
theotherpress.ca
Screenshot of The Wizard of Oz
opinions // no. 20
Why you should watch more movies ööThe benefits of film Cazzy Lewchuk Opinions Editor
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love the movies, a lot. I think film is the most accessible art medium—who doesn’t watch movies at least once-inawhile? Movies are universally appreciated by almost everyone. I watch a lot of movies— probably more than most people do. When I’m in the mood (such as October: Horror month), I watch a movie every day. If I had the time and discipline, I probably would watch a movie every day of the year. Movies provide a different
way of looking at things. They expose us to stories, performances, and visuals we may never experience otherwise. They provide a getaway; a look at another place, time period, or world that isn’t our own. Film teaches us about the human experience in all of its highs and lows. Most people have a certain style of movie they prefer. Some like intense dramas or action, others enjoy lighter comedic or fantasy elements. There are thousands of movies worth watching, and thousands more that are not. No matter what your taste is, there are still hundreds
of movies to choose from. You could watch a movie every day and still not see everything worth watching. There are people (film critics, professors) who do just that. There’s so much variety to the movies. Expand your horizon. Watch a black and white movie from a time before colour film existed. Watch a silent movie. Watch a movie in another language with subtitles, or one with an entire cast you’ve never heard of. Watch lesserknown works from a wellknown director or actor. Netflix streams thousands of movies on demand, and adds new
ones continuously. Many other movie-on-demand services exist that feature lots of great titles, even if you haven’t heard of them. And of course, there’s always the internet to access movies in a less than strictly legal way. Even YouTube has a lot of fulllength movies available for free. Movies are made for a lot of different reasons. But they aren’t just for profit— they’re an art form. They are made to capture emotion and expression, and explore the reality of life. That may be through a hyper-realistic drama, outlandish cartoon adventure, or arthouse piece with a plot
too nonexistent to understand. But they all have something to offer and teach about our grasp of the world. Movies are a way for humans to learn from each other. They expose us to new ideas, concepts, and even emotions that may never have been realized otherwise. The most viewed and popular movie of all time is The Wizard of Oz. Virtually everyone has seen it. It brings out the best of what makes movies great. Where else could you view flying monkeys, talking lions, and spectacular musical numbers by tiny munchkins? Movies are truly an experience unlike any other.
Why ‘Any questions?’ isn’t the question teachers should be asking ööA look at classroom discussions and two-way interactions Jamal Al-Bayaa Staff Writer essica is in a sociology class that’s three hours long. All she wants to do is go home. That’s not possible, but she’d at least like to get up and move a little bit. She thinks about just standing up for the sake of it, but she knows it’ll incur some funny looks and personal embarrassment. Although Jessica is paying attention, she’s not doing it with any extra motivation. She just has her notebook out and jots down what might be important. She doesn’t get to interact with the material much, mainly because of the way lectures are generally designed. Professor Kruz’s lecture style is one that is unbroken and constant. She lectures for an hour straight, then calls for a break, and follows it with another hour and a half of lecture. There’s not much room for questions, so she tries to leave some room for them at the end, thinking that if anybody has any questions, they’ll come up at the end of class. She poses that same question to students at the end
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of every class: “Any questions?” No one ever has any. What she doesn’t realize, or maybe she does, is that by the end of class, students are already packed up, waiting with anticipation for the salutation they’re used to being dismissed with, so they can move on to the next part of their day. Everybody has felt like Jessica at one point in their lives, and we’ve probably all had a teacher like Kruz. They speak for long periods of time and save all questions for the end. For most students, one way lectures don’t
promote their highest learning potential. We like to talk in equal parts. Barring that, we’d at least like to not be collectively silent throughout the class. Teachers have always known this, but it’s not yet a general trend to have a teacher think to themselves: “How can I best inspire my students to ask questions?” There are many ways that will work, and one way that won’t: Asking “Any questions?” right before the end of class. To most students, questions at the end of class mean that if
anybody does ask one, everyone else has just had their valuable out-of-class time stolen from them. Sometimes a quick question does come out of those end of lecture conversations, but they will rarely start a thoughtprovoking conversation about the material. It’s simply because that would stop everyone from going home early, which is always a plus. Yet those thoughtprovoking conversations that dive deeper into the material than the final exam requires is exactly what promotes active
learning, and overall interest. If you look at the way that moderators facilitate question periods, they always ask the first question, because it gets the blood flowing in everyone else’s head. Without that icebreaker, the room is often silent. Not only do people often shy away from being the first person to ask a question, they generally can’t even think of a question until someone else has already asked one. Hearing other questions gets the pressure off of them and gives them an example to connect with and from which to build their own. Once that first question is asked, questions always keep pouring out. Whether it’s inside or outside the classroom, the principle is the same: Questions inspire a genuine interest in the answer, so teachers need a way to harness them. Right inside the lesson plan, time should be made available for serious questions and conversations. Most importantly, the teacher should never give up on questions until at least the first one has been asked and then there’s silence, simply because that will increase the learning and benefit of the experience for everyone.
Humour
Have an idea for a story? humour@theotherpress.ca
OO Bus driver causes chaos by asking everyone to move to the back of the bus OO Exhausted Douglas student sights God outside Subway OO Exciting new Clown-Hunters Club! And more!
SkyTrain rally Chandler Walter Assistant Editor
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ell, ladies and gentlemen, it is a gorgeous day out here at the Waterfront Station raceway, as our racers are lined up and raring to go for what is sure to be quite the spectacle! In a black suit and tie, wellworn slacks, and a look of sheer determination, we have the Businessman leading the pack in a prime starting location: standing directly in front of the SkyTrain doors. Beside him awaits the lovely Woman with Groceries, and we know from past races that she will stop at nothing to be in first place at the finish line. Following shortly behind them we have Longboard Kid, Mustache Guy, and Girl Student, all eager to show what they’ve got and prove themselves worthy of the fabled trophy. And with the chimes of the SkyTrain they are off! Businessman quickly takes the lead, using every ounce of shoulder width he has to keep those behind him from trying to pass. That is not going to stop Woman with Groceries, however, as she swiftly speed walks by and is the first onto the escalator!
We have never seen such a start here, folks! A short break from the action as the escalator is clogged… OH MY LANTA! Longboard Kid has made the unprecedented move to take the stairs and is now neck and neck with Woman with Groceries for first place! They’re off the escalator now and it is anybody’s race. They’re coming up on the first of the Compass Card fare gates and in a heartbreaking turn of events Mustache Guy has lost his Compass Card, putting him out of the running for the grand prize. Everyone but Mustache Guy has made it through the gates, so now the real fun begins. An open expanse of space to pass, and various distractions looking to stall our walkers. Girl Student is nearly stopped by the thought of a Starbucks drink, but continues on in third place. They are coming up on the second fare gates now, and this could make or break the standings. Longboard Kid makes it through, and Woman with Groceries is NOT EVEN TAPPING IN! She somehow just slid in right behind Longboard Kid during his tap and is now hot on his tail! We have conferred
Image via Thinkstock
ööWho’s going to be today’s big winner, folks!
with the judges and it’s been decided that it was a fair (though illegal) maneuver. These racers are really giving it their all. And oh no, after such a promising start, Businessman has found himself stuck behind a stroller. That’s going to put him out of the running. We are at the last stretch now and it is too close to call;
these commuters are neck and neck coming up to the finish line, and oh what a finish line it is. The Millennium Line SkyTrain, with doors open, an empty seat, and a ticket home for one lucky contestant. They are scrambling down the stairs now, and it looks like it is going to be Woman with Groceries to make i—WAIT
ONE MOMENT! Longboard Kid comes out of nowhere and gets through those doors right at the chiming of the train! He has done it! HE HAS DONE IT! What a race folks, and what a finish! Tune in next week to see if your favourite commuter makes it to the train on time, or if they experience the gut-wrenching failure of defeat.
Revelation that Hillary Clinton is kind of okay upsets many
ööVoters from all sides of the political spectrum appalled by her overall decency Rebecca Peterson Humour Editor
illary Clinton is once again caught in a controversy, as audio from a private conversation with campaign donors in February has been made public. The shocking content has disturbed many, as in the recording she expresses her true feelings regarding Bernie Sanders supporters. To quote: “Some are new to politics completely. They’re children of the Great Recession, and they are living in their parents’ basement. They feel they got their education and the jobs that are available to them are not at all what they envisioned for themselves. And
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they don’t see much of a future. […] So that is a mindset that is really affecting their politics. And so if you’re feeling like
you’re consigned to, you know, being a barista, or you know, some other job that doesn’t pay a lot, and doesn’t have some
other ladder of opportunity attached to it, then the idea that maybe, just maybe, you could be part of a political revolution is pretty appealing. So I think we should all be really understanding of that and should try to do the best we can not to be, you know, a wet blanket on idealism.” Her understanding of the Bernie Sanders phenomenon and general willingness to help younger voters (or at least listen to their issues and concerns) has incurred the wrath of many with base-level typing skills and access to the internet. “This is BULLSHIT,” said one commenter, username $$GaryJohnson16$$. “She’s so PATRONIZING. You can just hear the PANDERING
dripping out of every WORD. Voting third party for SURE. #WhatBernieWouldWant.” “It’s just further proof that, you know, she’s pulling out every dirty trick in the book to try to get elected,” commented Trump supporter Guy White on his Facebook page. “Trying to get into the minds of voters, figure out what they want—trying to give them what they want. It’s disgusting. Totally should disqualify her from being president.” Meanwhile, Donald “I moved on her” Drumpf has been tied up this past week in a court case involving the alleged rape of a 13-year old girl—oh, well, it looks like we’ve run out of space.
theotherpress.ca
humour // no. 22
Bus driver causes chaos by asking everyone to move to the back of the bus Greg Waldock Contributor
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assengers aboard a 502 bus bound for Surrey Central were left stunned early yesterday morning, when their driver made an announcement over the PA system to “move to the back of the bus.” With the meaning of this statement being so unclear, the passengers could only look around and shuffle awkwardly as the statement was inexplicably repeated. The lineup of people waiting to get onto the bus at Venture Way, where the incident took place, looked on in horror as a half-empty bus somehow seemed too full to let more people on. The situation worsened when the driver, who prefers to remain anonymous,
stood up and began to tell people to move further into the interior of the transit vehicle. “We had no idea what he meant,” said Mary Boxworth, a passenger during the incident. “We were scared and confused. He kept pointing to the little steps that led to the empty back part of the bus. What was he trying to say?” The driver eventually threw his hands in the air and returned to his seat, leaving a dozen people behind at the bus stop. Unfortunately, this isn’t the first incident of such a mysterious, undecipherable message being heard on TransLink buses. “This is a growing epidemic,” said Dr. Sarah Trundle, professor of Transit Studies at Simon Fraser
Image via Thinkstock
ööOpen space in rear of bus confuses, scares passengers
University. “People are being asked to ‘make room for other passengers’ and ‘walk two feet up a small set of stairs.’ The meaning of these messages are unclear, and passengers are starting to panic.” This event comes in the wake of an incident last week, when a driver cryptically told
passengers of a 99 B-Line running to the University of British Columbia to “move away from the rear doors, there’s plenty of room literally anywhere else.” Thirteen students fell out of the bus when the rear doors next opened. On September 23, a high school student was rushed to the
hospital when he accidentally stumbled onto the empty back part of a bus, and found himself confronted with enough free space to accommodate more than a dozen other people, triggering a wave of curiosity about its purpose. “If only we could decipher what these bus drivers are trying to tell us,” said Dr. Trundle. “There’s a lot about buses we don’t know. How can we fit more passengers onto a bus? Who are the ‘Elderly and Disabled Seats’ reserved for? How many seats can we occupy with a single bag? We just don’t know.” TransLink representatives refused to comment when asked about the incidents, but did take the opportunity to announce that the Evergreen Line is delayed until 2019.
Yoga found to not only cure anxiety and depression, but leprosy, malaria, and broken bones as well öö‘You’d think we would have figured this out years ago,’ said many doctors Rebecca Peterson Humour Editor
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study out of the Institute of Bold Science (I-BS) has found that yogi’s claims of the miraculous health benefits to yoga may not be too far off the mark. “I mean, obviously exercise is good for you, but it seems like if anyone has any problems these days there’s always that one jackass on Facebook claiming yoga as a cure-all,” said Doctor Iris Pekchu, in an
exclusive interview with the Other Press last Thursday. “We decided to test the validity of these kinds of claims and, well, needless to say, the results were very surprising, indeed.” The test covered a wide range of injuries and ailments, many thought to be incurable without the intervention of modern medicine, such as polio and fractured spines. Within weeks of starting a strict yoga regimen, however, symptoms began to ease, disappearing altogether after a few months.
“I’ll admit it was hard to get started, given that parts of me were falling off,” said leper Carly Skinner, “but they told me to just keep at it, work at my own pace, really get in touch with my inner self… and look at me now! I grew back three fingers like a lizard, all because of yoga!” “I snapped my arm clean in half about six months ago,” said athlete Andy Shields. “Never got a cast for it. Just kept up with my Exalted Warrior and Downward Dogs, threw in a couple of Cobras and a Reclining
Goddess, and it healed within two weeks. Now I’m buff as ever, and the skin on my arm isn’t all weird from being wrapped up in plaster for a month.” A few questions remain to be answered, of course— primarily regarding the science of yoga’s healing properties, and the more pressing question of why humanity didn’t figure this out sooner in our evolution. “Well, I mean, you can look at science, or you can look to your inner self,” said dedicated yogi Quinoa Jones.
“We’ve always said, you know, ‘don’t medicate, meditate,’ and I really hold to that. There’s been a lot of resistance from people who’ve been like ‘ohh I need medication to live’ and ‘yoga doesn’t cure visual impairments’ and ‘why’d you change your name to “Quinoa,” Helen,’ but there will always be bitter naysayers. The important thing is that science is on our side, and I have another hundred articles on the matter to spam your Facebook feed with over the days to come.”
Exhausted Douglas student sights God outside Subway
Image via Thinkstock
Douglas Athletics Department starts up exciting new Clown-Hunters Club
ööEncounter took place after the student’s third consecutive day without sleep Rebecca Peterson Humour Editor
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he religious community is buzzing and many assumptions about our world as we know it are being challenged by the alleged sighting of God Himself by Douglas student Adam N. Steve. “I definitely saw ’im,” slurred Steve in an interview on Monday. “He was like—He glowed? He glowed. It was outside Subway, He had… He was eating a foot-long Prime Rib Melt. It was epic.” According to Steve’s testimony, he was approaching his 73rd consecutive hour without sleep due to school, work, and social responsibilities. As he had a cold, he was also under the influence of “probably lethal amounts of Advil and Benadryl, honestly.” He’d gone to Subway with the intention of getting a sandwich and five large coffees, and found God instead. “He was a chill dude,” said Steve. “Just asked me if I had a quarter for the bus, an’ I did, an’ He was like ‘thanks kid’ an’ I was like ‘no problem God’ and he was like ‘Jesus Christ are you high’ an’ I said ‘I’m not Jesus. God, kinda thought you would know that.’” Steve’s account of his encounter with God has
made him very popular amongst some members of the religious community, and a pariah amongst others. “It’s the sign we’ve all been waiting for,” said evangelist Terry Cross. “Sure, the Rapture didn’t happen—both times— and there are nonbelievers out there who still make fun of us for ‘telling everyone you’d packed your bags for heaven, Terry, can’t wait to see you at the next PTA meeting,’ but this is a sign. He’s walking among us, and He has appeared to us in a form we can understand.” “It’s blasphemist nonsense, is what it is,” said Father Peter Rock at a press conference over the weekend. “Sadly we cannot excommunicate Adam N. Steve as he is not a member of the Catholic faith. I checked. Twice. But we do not endorse his claims in the slightest.” When asked if his experience made Steve a believer, his answer was noncommittal. “I mean, I guess I kind of do and I kind of don’t,” he said. “I’m gonna try sleeping on it. Thanks to all the media coverage, I still haven’t had a chance to even catch a nap. I might just… I might just lie down here. Goodnight.” Steve promptly curled up in his seat and fell asleep, leaving many questions unanswered.
Image via TheSun.co,uk
humour // no. 23
issue 6 // volume 43
ööInspired by the alarming appearance of scary clown sightings in BC Rebecca Peterson Humour Editor
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ast week the Douglas Athletics Department announced the formation of a new sports club: The Douglas Clown-Hunters. “I thought it up a few nights ago while lying in bed with all the lights on and a baseball bat at the ready,” said club leader Francis Ulysses Klaunz. “I mean, the scary clowns thing was kind of funny when it was happening well south of the border, but they’re in Surrey now. The last thing Surrey needs is a scary clown invasion, am I right?” The Clown-Hunters have described their sport as “a mega-huge intense game of full-contact manhunt,” and
often play in large groups armed with bats, crowbars, pepper spray, and electric flyswatters. “It’s a good way to get in a workout while saving the city from a real-life It situation, ya know?” said Douglas ClownHunter Artemis Brown. “It’s fun, it’s safe… well, for us. Probably not for the clowns.” The club has not been formed without controversy, however. Critics have compared it to “the angry mob with pitchforks that went after Frankenstein’s Monster” and “a bunch of vigilantes with weapons and a vendetta against clowns.” Some students have even reported feeling unsafe around the Clown-Hunters. “I get cold sweats when I think I might have over-applied
By David Manky, Senior Columnist
blush,” said one student. “Like, what are their standards for what constitutes a clown? Am I allowed to make jokes? Wear polka dots? Put a scary mask over my face and a frazzled red wig so I can creep around people’s houses late at night like an asshole? Where is the line drawn?” So far the club has yet to catch any clowns, but that hasn’t dampened their enthusiasm. “It’s just like any other sports club,” said one member, a section editor for the Other Press with an intense fear of clowns who prefers to remain anonymous. “You know, we do stretches and exercises, go out for beers, order pizza, hunt clowns. It’s really all in the spirit of good fun, and—IS THAT A FUCKING CLOWN? DIEEEE!”
mentalhealthrun.ca
mentalhealthrun.ca
CALLING ALL HEROES! CALLING ALL HEROES! Run/Walk and Raise Funds
for Mental Health in Your Community Run/Walk and Raise Funds for Mental Your Community Register andHealth donate in at mentalhealthrun.ca Register and donate at mentalhealthrun.ca
October 16th, 2016
2.5km or 5km Run or Walk
8AM-12:30PM October 16th, 2016
Queens 2.5km orPark, 5kmNew Run Westminster or Walk
8AM-12:30PM
Queens Park, New Westminster
JOIN THE DOUGLAS TEAM! Sign up for the ‘Douglas College Unite’ team when registering for this event Benefitting:
to walk and run with fellow students, instructors and staff of Douglas College
Benefitting: Vancouver-Fraser Vancouver-Fraser