The Other Press Vol 39 Issue 26 by Other Press

WHO WE ARE The Other Press has been Douglas College’s student newspaper since 1976. Since 1978 we have been an autonomous publication, independent of the student union. We are a registered society under the Society Act of British Columbia, governed by an eight-person board of directors appointed by and from our staff. Our head office is located in the New Westminster campus. The Other Press is published weekly during the fall and winter semesters, and monthly during the summer. We receive our funding from a student levy collected through tutition fees every semester at

registration, and from local and national advertising revenue. The Other Press is a member of the Canadian University Press (CUP), a syndicate of student newspapers that includes papers from all across Canada. The Other Press reserves the right to choose what we will publish, and we will not publish material that is hateful, obscene, or condones or promotes illegal activities. Submissions may be edited for clarity and brevity if necessary. All images used are copyright to their respective owners.

THE DOUGLAS COLLEGE NEWSPAPER SINCE 1978

OtherPress. The

Room 1020 – 700 Royal Ave. Douglas College New Westminster, BC V3L 5B2 EDITOR IN CHIEF

Sharon Miki

The Douglas College student newspaper since 1978

TELEPHONE: 604.525.3542 WEBSITE: www.theotherpress.ca EMAIL: editor@theotherpress.ca

ASSISTANT EDITOR

Jacey Gibb

BUSINESS MANAGER

Angela Ho

editor@theotherpress.ca

assistant@theotherpress.ca

accounting@theotherpress.ca

SOCIAL MEDIA COORDINATOR

DISTRIBUTION MANAGER

NEWS EDITOR

Letter from the Editor:

Hug me H

ello readers. Never one to miss a self-serving holiday, I wanted to remind everyone of my favourite day of the year: April 4—otherwise known as “Hug a Newsman Day.”

Jonathan Roy

Chris Paik

Dylan Hackett

socialmedia @theotherpress.ca

distribution @theotherpress.ca

news@theotherpress.ca

ARTS EDITOR

LIFE & STYLE EDITOR

OPINIONS EDITOR

Angela Espinoza

Sophie Isbister

Natalie Serafini

arts@theotherpress.ca

lifeandstyle@theotherpress.ca

opinions@theotherpress.ca

SPORTS EDITOR

HUMOUR EDITOR

STAFF WRITER

sports@theotherpress.ca

Josh Martin

humour@theotherpress.ca

Livia Turnbull

Eric Wilkins

STAFF WRITER

LAYOUT MANAGER

Keating Smith

Elliot Chan

GRAPHICS

ILLUSTRATOR

Joel McCarthy

graphics@theotherpress.ca

Ed Appleby

illustrator@theotherpress.ca

Cody Klyne

layout@theotherpress.ca CONTRIBUTORS

Ken Bablitz, Steven Cayer, Avalon Doyle, Savis Irandoost, Aidan Mouellic, Jerrison Oracion, Sonia Panesar, Lauren Paulsen

Few people know of this relatively-obscure (and politically incorrect—call it “Hug a Newsperson Day,” for propriety’s sake) holiday, and I think that’s a shame. After all, every week, the staff at The Other Press works hard to deliver information to your metaphorical doorstep, and most of the time it’s a pretty thankless job. While we appreciate, nay, love, receiving your constructive feedback, we’re still humans (confirmed: robot journalists have yet to take over) and could use a little positive reinforcement every now and then. So, this week, don’t forget to make an effort to show your local newspeople some love; whether it’s a hug, a cup of coffee, or a smile in the hallway, we’d really appreciate it. Over and out. Sharon Miki

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Douglas Horne |Photo courtesy of www.douglashorne.ca By Dylan Hackett, News Editor Last week The Other Press spoke with Douglas Horne, MLA for Coquitlam-Mountain, who is running for re-election as a BC Liberal. Below is an excerpt of our discussion. Could you tell me what your role as Parliamentary Secretary to the Premier consists of? The primary part of it is intergovernmental affairs. I handle the dealings with the councilor core, I’m responsible for francophone for British Columbia, and I attend a lot of functions when the premier is not available. Party affiliations aside, what do you think you have to offer to constituents of CoquitlamBurke Mountain that Chris Wilson doesn’t? I have experience. I’ve been elected for four years, but before I was elected I worked

in Ottawa for five years. I worked in the speaker’s office in the House of Commons, and I actually worked in the prime minister’s office for a short while. I understand how to get things done—I’ve worked hard over the last four years and [got the] Evergreen Line done. If you don’t understand how that system works, it’s very difficult to get things done that your constituents require. The province of British Columbia is a $40-billion enterprise. You need to have people capable of running that enterprise. This isn’t something you do in your spare time—this is something I do all the time. We need to have people in place that are capable [and] who understand the finance. What have you noticed that’s different since the switch in leadership from Gordon Campbell to Christy Clark? One of the most refreshing things under Christy Clark is that she gives ministers and

people around her more input and influence in the decision making process. We are really a team now. On partisanship and debt. The vast majority of people are tired of all the partisan bickering. Being able to have better discussions on things is based on taking some of the partisanship out. One of the things I’m most proud of is [when] I chaired the finance committee last fall. It was one of the few times… partisan bickering aside, the government and the opposition agreed. One of the key recommendations we agreed on is that we should balance the budget. If your father came to you and said, “We’re in our old age now and we would really like to travel around the country in an R.V. so we would like you to co-sign the loan for our R.V.” Would you be willing to do that?

Not a chance— sorry mom and dad. When governments don’t balance budgets, that’s what I think they’re doing. That’s the difficulty we face. When I was young, BC didn’t have any debt. In the last 40 years, we’ve accumulated all of the debt. While it’s manageable now, like we’re making all our credit payments on time. There are different forms of debt, there’s managed debt and there’s debt as an investment. A lot of the debt we’ve accumulated over the last [while] is like mortgage debt: building hospitals, roads, the Pitt River bridge, Golden Ears bridge, things you can see from here! These are important—they stimulate our economy as well. Not to be overly partisan, but we’re about to go to an election period: when the NDP last formed government, they had six credit downgrades.

What similarities do you see between the NDP of the 1990s and that of today? They’re exactly the same— Adrian Dix was in charge of the premier’s office last time and now he’s looking to be premier. If it were an entirely different team, then you could say “That’s not the NDP of the 1990s” but it’s the same team. The last time [the NDP] was in charge, British Columbians were so irate that by the end of it, they only elected two of them. I don’t think any government is perfect nor any group of people are perfect, but everyone tries their best. Frankly, I think we tried our best. The NDP tried their best to be able to manage the economy of British Columbia, but it’s clear who best does the job. PQ: The last time [the NDP] was in charge, British Columbians were so irate that by the end of it, they only elected two of them.

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ShitHarperDid does Douglas Comedic activist troupes drop by on Metro Vancouver tour By Savis Irandoost, Contributor

he Douglas Students’ Union was pleased to host the ShitHarperDid.com Live! Comedy Tour in the DSU lounge last Wednesday, with dozens of students making their way out to laugh along to chides thrown at their current prime minister. Preceding the performance, audience members shared assumptions and expectations with The Other Press. “I’m expecting a bit of an [anti-]Stephen Harper rant,” said Abby Brown-John, SFU alumni. “Let’s put it this way— I’ve never been a Harper fan. I’m here to enjoy. I hope it’ll be funny.” “I’m not really involved in politics. I’m here to learn more,” said Justin Lizee, Douglas student. “I haven’t heard a lot of good things about Stephen Harper from anyone I’ve talked to. But then again, I also hang out with a lot of NDP supporters.” In 2011, ShitHarperDid was started by a group of artists hoping to raise awareness on the Harper government and encourage youth voter turnout.

“In hours, the website was shared and we affected millions of young people. They started doing their research,” said ShitHarperDid co-founder, comedian and activist Sean Devlin. The event featured Devlin, Brigette DePape, and 2012 Best Improv Group in Canada, The Sunday Service. It was hosted by comedian Graham Clark. Devlin opened his speech by stating “The Conservative

“It’s so boring, heavy, and depressing for the young people to vote. That’s why we’re asking for your emails. If you’re willing to give us that, then that’s the real start,” said Devlin. “This is a great turnout, but I’m sure it’s not the representation of how many people would have been here. But by showing up, you’ve already done something.” The show ended with The Sunday Service doing funny, non-political skits that involved

In hours, the website was shared and we affected millions of young people. They started doing their research,” stated ShitHarperDid co-founder, comedian and activist Sean Devlin. government is spending $215,000 every day on advertising themselves, which is five times what an average Canadian makes every year. People responsible for the crisis in this country are not the ones paying for it, they’re the ones benefiting. The tar sands are not in the best interests of this country. That’s why the government is spending so much money trying to convince you otherwise. That’s the type of work the devil would even take note of.”

audience participation. “It was a little funny, a little provocative. I expected a little more info. It’s good that it started on a funny note and ended on one. They’re taking a really good approach, stepping out of just being online. It’s good to get the word out to as many people as possible,” said Jen Alsop, student. The ShitHarperDid team released their new and much anticipated website on April 1.

Illustration courtesy of www.shd.ca

World Recap: March 21-28 Weekly geopolitical news By Keating Smith, Staff Writer Africa: (Madagascar) A plague of locusts ransacked agriculture on Madagascar last week leaving the small African island nation worried about food shortages. According to a spokesperson for the UN’s Food and Agricultural Organization (FAO), the last time the country experienced an invasion of this degree was in the 1950s and lasted for almost 20 years. The FAO estimates that roughly one half of Madagascar is infested with the billions of plantdestroying insects. An estimated $22 million in emergency

funding is needed to combat the swarm of insects through use of pesticides and other agricultural chemical products. Latin & South America: (Chile) Thousands of Chilean university students rioted with police in Santiago last week, calling on the government for educational reforms. Students in the country view the education system as unfair, citing large gaps in the quality of education students receive in relation to socioeconomic status. Sixty people were arrested during the protests after Molotov cocktails were thrown at riot police and one police officer was injured. Asia- Pacific: (South Korea) The United States Air Force deployed two B-2 bombers over

the Korean peninsula last week amidst military tensions in North Korea. North Korea has threatened both South Korea and the United States in recent months with military action, alarming both countries, and the UN. US and South Korean troops have been engaged in military drills over the past several months and plan to end them in April. Asia- Central & South: (Myanmar) Myanmar’s President Thein Sein said he is prepared to use forceful measures to control anti-Islamic rioting in the largely Buddhist nation. Rioting in central areas of the country have seen 40 people killed in the last week, displacing thousands of Islamic followers. President Sein has

stated that the country “must expect these conflicts and difficulties to arise during our period of democratic transition,” but the use of force if needed will be used as “last resort to protect the lives and safeguard the property of the general public.” Europe: (Latvia) Russianspeaking minorities in Latvia have founded a ‘non-citizen congress’ lobby in the Balkan country. The movement comes after Russian-speaking minorities in the country feel ostracized by the government, given that they cannot legally hold office or participate in elections. As part of the former soviet Bloc, nearly 300,000 Russian-speaking people in the country of two million are

considered non-citizens of Latvia. Russia’s government deems the social unjust of Russian minorities in the country the biggest problem regarding relations between the two countries. Middle East: (Qatar) Syria’s opposition opened its first embassy in Qatar last week. “This is the first embassy of the Syrian people,” said opposition chief Ahmed Moaz al-Khatib during the opening ceremony. Syria’s rebel flag was also hoisted on top of the building courtesy of the Qatari government. Rebels were allotted another symbolic victory last week when President Bashar al-Assad’s Arab League seats were given to the Syria’s opposition leaders.

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Pilot program soars into Douglas this September College to begin offering aviation training By Dylan Hackett, News Editor

eginning this fall, Douglas College will be offering a new program for students looking to become commercial pilots. The Associate of Arts Degree for Future Professional Pilots couples a study focus on geography and psychology, with flight training on weekends. By the end of the 60-credit program, students will be accredited with not only half of their undergraduate degree, but an Airline Transport Pilot License—a Transport Canada license that’s valuable for employment worldwide. “There is a huge demand for pilots developing so this is an exciting career option. Also, this is not a dead end academically—students can finish a B.A. or do postgraduate degrees anywhere because these are all University transfer courses,” explained John Higenbottam, associate dean of social sciences and humanities. Along with psychology and geographical climatology requirements, the program also has a few business studies requirements relevant to international careers often taken by professional pilots. Human resource management, principles of international

business, and two third-year business courses are also on the requirement list. While students can use their Associate of Arts Degree to transfer to research universities, administration hopes to have an applied degree in place by the time the first wave of program graduates finish in two years time. “[Students] can also finish [the degree] at Douglas if we have our applied degree in place by then. They can complete when they are working with online courses,” said Higenbottam. Flight training will occur alongside of academic study in the latter half of the program, which can be completed at a student’s own pace, full-time, or part-time in New Westminster. Students wanting to apply for the program in September are urged to do so immediately. The flight training is done at the Professional Pilot Centre in Delta, a renowned flight facility. “Professional Flight Centre is one of the top flying schools in Canada. They were looking for an appropriate academic partner because the airlines want pilots who have university degrees,” Higenbottam explained. The Associate of Arts Degree for Future Professional Pilots can be started in any semester. Students looking to study this degree are urged to visit http://www.douglas. bc.ca/calendar/programs/pfpp. html.

Still of Tom Cruise in Top Gun | Photo courtesy of Paramount Pictures

This Week at Douglas By Dylan Hackett, News Editor

Thursday, April 4 Audio engineering program information session, 5:30 p.m. Students looking to study audio engineering at Douglas College Community Music School with Dan Cardona are encouraged to come to an information session in room 3220 of the New Westminster campus.

Friday, April 5 Awards Benefit Concert, 7:30 p.m. A benefit concert for the Douglas College Award Fund for Music students will cap of

the school week in the Laura C. Muir Performing Arts Theatre. Admission is $10, but students get in free.

Saturday, April 6 Current Sound Waves II, 7:30 p.m. The Music Technology Program and Douglas College Midi Ensemble will perform in the Laura C. Muir Performing Arts Theatre, with Robert Caldwell directing. The event is free and open to all. If you would like your event to be listed here email us at news@ theotherpress.ca

Photo courtesy of rdes (Flickr)

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Staying fresh in the age of the Internet How Canadian musician Scotty James is going one step beyond By Angela Espinoza, Arts Editor

n an age where the Internet has taken over, one would assume getting their name out there would be a piece of cake. While it may have been for a time, every up-andcoming musician has either a SoundCloud or Bandcamp to their name, making the ability to stand out far more difficult. For Waterloo, Ontario’s Scotty James, where one might see this flood of music as a roadblock, he saw an opportunity. As James tells us, he knew the best way to promote himself was by way of a literal grassroots campaign. “I’m a very determined artist,” James starts. “I went door-to-door serenading people on their front porch to raise money for an album… and I went from nothing to getting on the radio with very little resources and being unsigned.” James is an independent musician who hit Canada’s Top 40 back in 2011 with his single “Wanna Be Loved” off his first

album, Crazy. With no label and all the support he could get, James has already achieved more than most Canadian indie pop artists; besides having a hit single, he’s reached a total of 18,000 fans on Facebook. “As an independent artist in Canada, it is very possible to get on the radio if you have a great song and… persistence for sure. The best thing, because of the Internet, is for you to try and branch out as much as you can and hit a worldwide audience… not just Canada.” But going door-to-door was just the first step. After meeting his manager and releasing Crazy, what was the next step? “We went through a period where we didn’t really know what to do. We always knew that we had to do things differently because there are millions of artists trying to do the same thing. So we decided to take on the challenge [of hitting] 1,000,000 fans in only 99 days, to show people in general that they can achieve their dream in a very short period of time.” Originally, the plan was to achieve this goal by spending a single dollar a day on their campaign. However, James has since informed us that they’ve found a way to try and do this

without spending a nickel. “Even being on a major label doesn’t work the same way as it did 10 years ago. You have to develop a fan base all on your own—it’s changed a lot. In order to stand out, you have to do something different, like Walk Off the Earth did, and it’s so different that everybody’s talking about it. “We’re going to achieve this goal, something that a lot of

people think is impossible, and we’re going to prove publically from scratch that we can achieve it. And [this] doesn’t only apply to musicians. It applies to anybody who’s trying to achieve a goal or a dream in their life. Nothing great is ever easy, and [this project] is going to be an example of that.” The “1,000,000 fans in 99 days” campaign launches on May 1. You can help James

reach this goal by following him on Facebook at https:// www.facebook.com/ scottyjamesmusic. You can also keep an ear out for James’ latest single, “Never,” which was released last September. And remember, supporting the campaign isn’t just helpful for James; it’s helpful to every independent artist that’s ever wanted to achieve something big—even if that artist is you.

Should we be scared of the new ‘Evil Dead’? Rio Theatre’s Alex Chisholm and I engage in a soul-swallowing discussion By Angela Espinoza, Arts Editor

o say I merely love The Evil Dead is an understatement only mortals can fathom. 1981’s The Evil Dead is a testament to independent filmmaking, practical effects, original horror, and campiness. From its introducing of Bruce Campbell onto the world to its immensely creepy setting of an actual abandoned cabin to its infamous “tree rape” scene, The Evil Dead is a classic in every regards. So it shouldn’t be a surprise for anyone to know I’m not exactly amped for Evil Dead, which comes out this Friday. Sam Raimi was the man

behind the original film (and its two sequels-of-sorts), and as we know from the Spider-Man trilogy (2002–2007), Drag Me to Hell (2009), and Oz: The Great and Powerful (2013), Raimi’s gone on to do bigger, albeit more questionable films in his career. Raimi is still involved in this new take on The Evil Dead, as is Campbell, but only as producers. Even with their guidance attached, is it silly of me to be scared of “the most terrifying film you will ever see” for a completely different reason? In anticipation of Evil Dead, The Rio Theatre will once again be showing the entire trilogy back-to-back this Saturday in semi-impromptu fashion (the event was created just a few days ago). Programmer and manager of The Rio and allaround cool guy Alex Chisholm spoke to us about the upcoming event, his own experiences with The Evil Dead and his feelings towards the new film. “Probably the first one,”

Chisholm answers which is his favourite of the three. “I first saw it in the eighth grade—there was a room full of us and we rented it on VHS and we were all terrified… it had the most impact.” Chisholm also filled us in on what he’s followed of the new Evil Dead’s development so far: “It’s not so much a remake as [it is] putting new characters years later in the original cabin and seeing how they would deal with [the horrifying demon curse]. I don’t think there’s an ‘Ash’ (Bruce Campbell’s character) in the cast, they’re not going to recast the exact characters, but they’re going to put new people into the scene. It’s almost like sending someone to the Bates Motel 30 years later.” To reiterate, Raimi will just be producing the new Evil Dead. This time around, Uruguay’s Fede Alvarez served as director. Alvarez became a YouTube sensation when his 2009 short Panic Attack! went viral and

caught the attention of Raimi himself. “I’m not a fan of remakes, but the bottom line comes down to the money. If [Raimi] wants to make good money off his idea, let him [laughs]. But I think it’s not as simple as ‘take the check and walk away,’ he wants it done the right way. [Raimi’s team] seem to really believe in the guy they’ve hired, it’s not just like they sold away the concept they’re just going to let the studio trash it or something. “They’ve also made sure that [the film’s] going to use actual, real effects rather than CGI to try to keep it in the tradition of the original. I also think too that, [because] the first film was made completely handto-mouth… they slaved over it… so it may even be a personal experiment to see how it could be done with a ‘real’ budget.” To wrap up our chat, Chisholm talked a little about how The Rio will be handling the release of this new film.

“The next main film we’re going to show for a couple weeks is the new Star Trek. If Evil Dead ends up being a really good movie, we might show it as a one-off a year later, that’s what we did with Drag Me to Hell— which by the way, I absolutely loved. “We’ve [shown the Evil Dead trilogy] before and it was so popular, it’s one of our most requested events to bring back. We decided to play it again in honour of the upcoming ‘remake;’ there’s been a real demand to see the originals again. It’s the usual, there will be prizes for best costume, bar service during the movies, and you get the three original misadventures of Ash.” Be sure to check out the original trilogy at The Rio this Saturday at 7 p.m., and stay tuned for my review of Evil Dead in next week’s issue of The Other Press!

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The incredible mechanics of ‘Incredipede’ By Angela Espinoza, Arts Editor

pidery platformer Incredipede hit Steam on March 18, and has since become something of a sleeper hit. Developed by the husband-and-wife duo of Northway Games’ Colin and Sarah Northway, Incredipede is by every means as original as it is difficult. Part of its originality falls on the art style of Thomas Shahan, known partially for his jumping spider photography. In Incredipede, the player controls Quozzle, a magical spider-like creature on a journey to save her captured sisters. Through a series of challenges, Quozzle makes use of her wacky

appendages to try and collect enough treasures to move forward in her travels. Although the plot is minimal at best, the unique art style, its surprisingly kicking soundtrack, and of course its mechanics make Incredipede completely worthwhile. And while there are many challenges that get annoying in their difficulty, perhaps an unintentional stress reliever is giggling immaturely at how Quozzle contorts around objects. With two-to-four keys in charge of two-to-four legs, sometimes just the act of walking can result in hilarity. Although you might want to wait for a sale date (regular price is $15), Incredipede needs to be added to your collection.

Incredipede | Photo courtesy of greenlitgaming.com

The incredible mechanics of ‘Incredipede’ ‘G.I.’ don’t know anymore By Steven Cayer, Contributor

hen a movie is made based on a children’s toy line, it’s probably not going to be pretty. When that movie has a sequel, it’s bound to be a mess. That’s what happened to G.I Joe: Retaliation, sequel to 2009’s G.I Joe: The Rise of Cobra. On top of that, Retaliation was directed by Jon M. Chu, whose previous films include Step Up 3D and Justin Bieber: Never Say Never. If you didn’t see Rise of Cobra, you’re not missing much in part two. Basically, Cobra, an evil organization bent on

world domination, got as far as impersonating the President of the United States. In this sequel, the plot gets amped up to 11 when Cobra tries to destroy all the remaining Joes, while also taking control of a ton of nuke-like weapons. Of these remaining Joes, we have Roadblock (Dwayne Johnson), Flint (D.J Cotrona), and Lady Jaye (Adrianne Palicki). Retaliation is a typical story, if you can call it a story. The movie is definitely actionpacked, but most of it was uneventful fighting. There were only two action sequences in the whole movie that were as awesome as they were memorable. If you don’t like lazy moviemaking, I suggest you pass this one by.

Adrianne Palicki, Bruce Willis and Dwayne Johnson in G.I. Joe: Retaliation| Photo courtesy of Paramount Pictures

‘Poppy Hill’ makes for a wonderful time By Jerrison Oracion, Contributor

tudio Ghibli’s latest film, From Up on Poppy Hill, was directed by Goro Miyazaki, son of the legendary Hayao Miyazaki. The film goes back to a wonderful time in Japan’s history, taking place in Yokohama during the spring of

1963. From Up on Poppy Hill follows the characters of Umi Matsuzaki (Sarah Bolger) and Shun Kazama (Anton Yelchin). One day, Umi meets Shun during a protest that the male students of her school are holding to save their clubhouse, “The Latin Quarter.” She befriends Shun, but as he learns more about Umi, Shun finds out a secret that may or may not pose a problem between them. With an all-star cast

including Jamie Lee Curtis playing Umi’s mother Ryoko, Parks and Recreation’s Aubrey Plaza as friend Sachiko (who sounds and looks like April Ludgate), and even Ron Howard plays the president of The Latin Quarter’s philosophy club. It’s entirely possible From Up on Poppy Hill could by nominated for Best Animated Feature at next year’s Oscars. But for now, just give it a watch—it’s also entirely possible the film will make your day.

Poppy Hill | Photo courtesy of GKID

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Douglas Profile: Kaminee ‘Kam’ Maisuria (Props) By Elliot Chan, Staff Writer

here aren’t many jobs that require crafting a dead chicken out of a stocking or rolling a joint. What some might consider a random mess of assignments, Kam Maisuria understands as the process of putting together a functioning theatre production. “You need to be artistic,” she said. “You need to be open-minded.” Nine years ago, Maisuria stumbled into the world of stagecraft when all other electives at North Delta Secondary School were full. What first felt like a temporary course to get through the term became a love affair. From then on, she contributed to

numerous theatre productions in all backstage areas. But for Maisuria, nothing beats props. The tangible creation on stage lit by the spotlight for all the audiences to see—knowing that she made it—that was the ultimate thrill or relief. “It’s opening day,” she said, drifting away from all her present responsibilities, “and everything is there and the set looks beautiful. And everything is now okay. It’s kind of magical— you accomplished something.” Like a garnish on a meal, props can change a take on a performance. Before Maisuria dashes off to scavenge for materials, she needs to understand the characters in the script. “You read about their lifestyle,” she said. “You

have to figure out which character would like what.” The process, although it might seem simple, is actually incredibly methodical. But her schedule is far from structured. For eight hours a day, Maisuria can be anywhere from the workshop on the third floor of Douglas to the kitchen section of IKEA. The schedule can become a little overwhelming, depleting her social life, but that is not the hardest part of the job. “It is really hard to stay in budget,” she smiled about the common dilemma. “There are so many good things, but you can’t have it. It is perfect… but it is $30.” While affordability is a reoccurring problem, she prefers it to the nightmarish probability

that any prop can fall apart at any time; after all, actors are not the gentlest of creatures. In the Douglas production of Rez Sisters, a bird sculpture was supposed to be maneuvered around and eventually make its way backstage. Unaware that the prop was constructed from glass, the actor dropped it on the floor. “We tried to glue it together three times,” Maisuria said. “But we were like no, no… let’s just get a pink flamingo, a plastic one.” The unpredictability of the business can be daunting for many, but Maisuria doesn’t get sensitive or attached knowing that the rotation on the props table is an endless cycle. “We get requests for new props all the time,” she said. “Also, we have

to supply rehearsal props, and then we provide show props. It’s kind of hard to balance out the two.” But the juggling act is the challenge that drives her. “You need to be subject to change,” said Maisuria. Whether a prop breaks or the director and designer don’t like it, she is prepared to head back to the drawing board with new ideas. But after all her work, the performers will hit the stage and so will the props, and even though inanimate objects don’t get to savour a bow at the end of the show, Maisuria knows her work has captured a spark, like ancient relics or a magic lamp, a piece of memory is locked within.

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Diabetes: care and prevention Tips on lowering your risk of contracting type 2 diabetes By Sonia Panesar, Contributor

t was more than 3,500 years ago that physicians noticed that people started to produce urine that had a sweet scent to it—Indian physicians at this time called it “honey urine,” and the disease was also noted by ancient Egyptians in 1500 BCE. What was one of the earliest-documented diseases is now known as diabetes, and it currently affects over three million Canadians. Diabetes is a disease that develops when your body stops producing the pancreatic hormone insulin, or when your body can no longer make use of the insulin you produce. Insulin, which controls your body’s blood sugar, does not directly enter your cells. It enters your blood stream and gets excreted in your urine. When your blood sugar rises, your body experiences several complicated problems, some which take years to develop. When your blood sugar is high, it makes your blood sticky. This stickiness sets off several biochemical reactions. High blood sugar produces unstable oxygen

molecules which damage blood vessels by clogging them with fatty deposits known as atherosclerosis. This leads to heart disease, kidney failure, eye problems, and a nervous system condition known as diabetic neuropathy. There are two types of diabetes. Type 1 diabetes is typically found in children or young people. Those with this type of diabetes don’t produce their own insulin and therefor have to inject themselves daily with the hormone for survival. Type 2 diabetes, also known as adult-onset diabetes, happens when your pancreas produces insulin but your body cannot make use of it properly. Scientists think that diabetes is caused by an autoimmune disease that makes your immune system attack your own body cells—in this case, the pancreatic cells that produce insulin. The most common symptoms are thirst, excessive urination, and sweet smelling urination. Type 2 diabetes accounts for 90 per cent of all diabetes cases in Canada. The causes of this form of diabetes are lack of exercise and a poor diet; a diet low in fibre and high in sugar, animal products, and fat have been shown to increase the risk of developing this type of diabetes. It usually goes undiagnosed, and many people who have type 2 diabetes don’t

show any symptoms and may not be aware that they are at risk for other health complications related to their diabetes. Living with diabetes is complicated. People with type 1 diabetes usually have to inject themselves with insulin at least eight times a day. Diabetics have to get their blood sugar levels tested on a regular basis, with the aid of a home blood sugar monitor. Regular exercise and a strict diet can lessen the symptoms of type 2 diabetes, and in some cases, patients are able to get off their medication with proper care. There are ways to keep your body healthy and free of the risk of diabetes. Maintain good nutrition by eating a lot of foods which are antioxidant-rich and full of fibre; try consuming a lot of soy products, which have been shown to lower cholesterol; and make sure that your diet contains minerals such as magnesium and zinc, which can prevent diabetes. The Canadian Diabetes Association recommends a nutritious diet, weight management, exercise, and stress avoidance to prevent the risk of developing diabetes as an adult.

Photo courtesy of donkittle on (Flickr)

Between the Sheets: BC anti-sexting PSA misguided, harmful? By Viv Steele, Sex Correspondent

arlier this month, British Columbia-based charity Children of the Street Society released a public service announcement aimed at convincing teens not to send dirty pictures to each other via text message. The group, which aims to prevent childhood and adolescent sexual exploitation, is trying to build on the viral momentum of the famed Amanda Todd YouTube video from last year: their PSA features a brunette sitting on a bed, holding cards on which the group’s key message plays out. That message is: “I sent a photo to someone I trusted and now, thousands of people I don’t know know me.”

While the girl in the video reveals her message, the camera pans out to show her image replicated on multiple cell phone screens in the background. The tagline, “There’s no such thing as just one photo,” follows the video, adding “Protect yourself from sexual exploitation. Be safe online.” The ad is set to run online, as well as on posters and bus stops. The ad was reportedly endorsed by Amanda Todd’s family and created pro bono by marketing firm Cossette Vancouver. It’s hard to argue with the intent behind such a campaign, with words like “endorsed” and “pro bono.” Of course we, as a society, want to keep kids safe. And it makes some kind of sense to clearly target the ad at girls, the ones who are ostensibly taking and sending

all these boob pics with their smart phones, right? Right? Well, I think it’s kind of wrong. For one, youth aren’t stupid. They understand the technology involved in mobile photography probably more than their parents do—they know that a digital image, once created, can be replicated. More seriously, it simplifies a complicated issue by placing the blame and responsibility firmly in the hands of the potential victim. Toronto Standard reporter Hallae Khosravi states in an op-ed about the PSA that “It is not these pictures in themselves that ruin lives and can lead to potentially fatal consequences, it’s how we all react to them,” which is an important point to consider. Amanda Todd didn’t commit suicide because she sent

naked pictures; she fell into a deep depression because of the resulting shame, bullying, and repeated victimization, events from which no adult was able to protect her. Khosravi goes on to say that teens have always been on the cutting edge of experimenting with sex, which is something that I can agree with based solely on my own history. I think that when the Amanda Todd story broke, a lot of girls who came of age in the Internet generation were saying on the inside, “Thank God it wasn’t me, because it could have been.” Just like haters are gonna hate, teens are gonna keep sending racy pictures as long as apps like Snapchat keep flooding the smartphone market. What Khosravi says, and what I agree with, is that we as a society need

to focus on the culture of shame that surrounds a leaked sext. Also helpful to remember: letting the young women in your life know that they are loved and valued for who they are. Let young men know to respect everyone, including women. And then go out there and let everyone know that the type of victim-blaming that this PSA touches on is not appreciated. Youth should be brought up to have confidence in themselves; they should be given adequate sex education that accepts their status as sexually-experimental creatures, including an education on how to behave online. What they shouldn’t be is shamed, belittled, and told that one mistake like a sext picture can ruin their whole lives.

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The tornado beneath the surface Living with chronic illness By Lauren Paulsen, Contributor

hen people look at me, they see an average teenage girl who looks young for her age. What they don’t know is that beneath that surface lies a tornado. I have a rare auto immune disease called Eosinophilic Gastroenteritis. One person per million has it—that’s how rare it is. I was the second person to be diagnosed with it in BC. This is called an “orphan illness.” Unfortunately for us “orphans,” because the illness is so rare, drug companies won’t try and treat us—because there is no profit in it, there is no incentive for them to find a treatment. Because of this, I have been sick for most of my life. To give an idea of what life is like for me, I’m going to use something called the Spoon Theory. This theory states that everyone has spoons, each one representing the energy and ability to do something in a day. Getting dressed uses up a spoon. Brushing your teeth uses up a spoon. We do all these little things without really taking into consideration the amount of energy we are using to accomplish them. The reason people don’t think about it is because they have enough spoons that they don’t have to worry about running out. I do not. In fact, I have such a limited amount of spoons that my “normal” health is at the level of barely functional. I have to

be careful about what to use my spoons on, or I will run out and won’t be able to function for several days. Therefore, at my “barelyfunctioning” level, I am only able to do the necessities. What I mean by this is that when I am attending college, it uses up a lot of my spoons going every day, so I cannot go out and do other things that would be more fun. If I did, I wouldn’t be able to go to college. So I have to use my spoons wisely. But even when I do my best to conserve my energy, I am still sick a lot of the time for various reasons. The main one being viruses. I am immunecompromised, meaning my immune system has a hard time fighting off invaders, because of the medications I take to keep my illness in check. There are germs and bugs everywhere, and it is especially bad during the fall and winter. Unfortunately, this is also when college is. I am essentially a magnet for these bugs and viruses, and when I’ve caught one, I am far sicker than most people. Something that takes a “normal” person two days to get over can take me two weeks to get over. I’m serious—there’s no exaggeration here. I have been living like this for many years now, and I have basically accepted it as my “normal.” There are tons of things I’d like to do, but I don’t have enough spoons for. So I miss out. This is what it is like for people with chronic illness. Even though you can’t see anything wrong with us, that doesn’t mean there isn’t.

Eosinophilic gastroenteritis | Photo courtesy of wiki commons

Healthy Hints: The cold truth By Eric Wilkins, Staff Writer

n the winter when I was a kid, my mother always used to holler after me as I dashed through the door, “Make sure to bundle up or you’ll get a cold!” Being the obedient child I was, more often than not I obliged her and set about turning myself into a mini-Michelin man by donning endless layers of garishly-coloured puffy jackets only a preteen can get away with wearing. Her reasoning seemed utterly flawless to me. The sickness was called a “cold” so it was perfectly logical that one would contract it by being cold.

Not so. Despite the seemingly crystal-clear connection one can draw between the weather and the sickness, no direct correlation exists. That being said, the cold

indoors are better, right? Wrong. The situation inside is just as bad, if not worse, due to heaters warming and drying out the air. During warm periods of the year, people like to spend

The increased time spent in close proximity with other people and various germ-ridden surfaces is an unfortunate combination that allows for an increased spread of viruses.

Despite the seemingly crystal-clear connection one can draw between the weather and the sickness, no direct correlation exists. does create ideal circumstances in which viruses can thrive. When it’s chilly out, it’s quite dry, and there has been evidence that suggests viruses spread more easily through dry air. But the

time outdoors enjoying nature, but during winter, they often prefer the cozy climes of the indoors; this decision further aids germs in their quest to make life miserable for innocent folk.

While we’re shattering myths here, there’s no hard evidence to support the idea that we lose most of our body heat through our head. While your face is more sensitive than the rest of

you, thus making it feel like it is colder, your temperature is decided by your entire ensemble, not just your hat/toque. The myth supposedly originated from a military study that pitted men in warm clothing, but no headgear, against arctic temperatures. In the shocker of the century, the results clearly indicated that most of their heat was lost through their heads. Of course, don’t take any of this as a glowing endorsement to prance about in the elements wearing nothing but a banana hammock (for many reasons). Just keep it in mind next time you’re having it out with your folks.

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The Other Dress

T B C

N M d B G w M “ M i h B D

N M E B “ M “ M i V D s “ e

Photos courtesy of Aidan Mouellic

Culture Clash

By Elliot Chan, Staff Writer

ook carefully through the urban retail stores, coffee shops, and construction sites, and you will see the foundations of Vancouver: a First Nation’s totems pole, a Chinese noodle house, a Punjabi market place, and an Italian bocce game. Culture is defined in the Oxford dictionary “as the arts and other manifestations of human intellectual achievement regarded collectively.” But together, there is little agreement. Fusion. While some promote the idea of two cultures merging together, others are disgusted by the thought of losing their heritage. Vancouver claims to be an accepting place to learn, work, and live, but in a city where we can choose to be whoever we want, we still choose to blend in with our own. If each community

Douglas College international student from India, understands how difficult it is to be accepted into a new environment. “People already have friends living here, so they don’t want to be friends with someone they don’t know,” she said, “you are not at that comfort level. At first you want to be with people that understands you and your needs. And later on you can go out and be friends.” “It’s very scary talking to domestic students,” said Natalia Zinoveva, an international student from Russia. “I was super shy and they weren’t really nice… they started guessing my accent. I would be sitting there and they would be talking like I’m not there. What the heck, people,” she concealed her frustration with a smile, “but now I have Canadian friends, but they too seemed not nice in the beginning.” The initial fear is

is us who need to adapt—not them.” Rigel Biscione from Venezuela doesn’t think everything should be onesided, and that locals should meet internationals halfway. “They should be used to the fact that there are a lot of international people and interact with us.” Over the past decade, surveys have been conducted showing that 85 per cent of Canada supports multWiculturalism; a percentage that most other countries do not share. So how are our diverse communities different from theirs? Some believe that the word “multiculturalism” itself has changed in Canada and Vancouver, in particular. That we are now focused more on the “multi” part, and less on the “culturalism” part. Still we must keep in mind that Canada is still a young country at 146 years old, and Vancouver is only

they have no culture,” said Meirelles, “If you ask them (Canadians) most of them will say, ‘Oh I was born here, but my parents are from…’ Wherever. I feel like they don’t want to be Canadian.” But deep down there are hints; distinctive traits that only Canadians have. “They say thank you and sorry to furniture,” said Waraich with a chuckle. “I would never wear pajamas to school,” said Zinoveva, describing the laid back style of Vancouver. “I’m so confused, do they put on a different pajama or did they just wake up from bed. You know, school pajamas.” “Latinos speak really loud,” said Meirelles with a shameful shake of his head. “When I came here I was taking the seabus and everybody was super quiet reading their books and I would always hear someone ‘Blah! Blah! Blah!’ and then I’ll pay attention and they are speaking Portuguese.

But despite the first-class reputations, locals’ connections with internationals are often met with reproach. “Whenever you talk to them,” said Kaur, “they will first ask you, ‘by the way where are you from? You don’t sound Canadian.’ separates themselves, is the city still unified? Or are we all just functioning on different levels of tolerance? Canada and the world at large has never been more diverse, and with population increasing, a utopia seems ever more elusive. A few years back French president Nicolas Sarkozy firmly stated, “If you come to France, you accept to melt into a single community, which is the national community. And if you do not want to accept that, you cannot be welcome in France.” And Prime Minister of Britain, David Cameron echoed the same ideals, “We don’t tolerate racism in our society carried out by white people; we shouldn’t tolerate extremism carried out by other people,” While Canada is still driven by the visions of Pierre Elliott Trudeau, many world leaders agree, that the best way to rid violence and hate, is for those immigrating to different countries to fully accept the customs. Of course discarding bad baggage is easier said than done. Taranjot “T.J.” Kaur, a

common, causing travelers to retreat into their shell. But despite the anxiety, the students still remember why they choose Canada. Ruab Waraich recalls her reasons for leaving India, “Canada has a good ranking in the English speaking world in terms of education. The job opportunities are good here,” she also added, “and Canadians have a good reputation.” But despite the first-class reputations, locals’ connections with internationals are often met with reproach. “Whenever you talk to them,” said Kaur, “they will first ask you, ‘by the way where are you from? You don’t sound Canadian.’” She shrugged with distain. “That’s not your problem. It’ll just be nice if they ignore it.” Such exchanges rarely happen back home in Brazil for Rodrigo Meirelles, “You don’t usually ask people where they are from in Brazil, because everybody is Brazilian,” he said. “But here there is the law of multiculturalism, which is awesome, but some of us need to study more. Because if we choose to come here, it

127. Comparing our youthful culture to Britain, France, and Germany seems unfair; after all we are still prepubescent, slowly learning who we are and what we want to be when we grow up. Language retention rate and the length of time ethnic communities have been in Canada can determine how each has adapted to Canadian customs. In the early 20th century, a large group of Italians immigrated to Canada, followed by another group after World War II. Now only 39 per cent can speak Italian fluently. Meanwhile, Indians who traveled to Vancouver to work in the booming lumber industry a century ago, still have an overwhelming 84 per cent fluency in Punjabi; a large enough demographic to develop a Hockey Night in Canada Punjabi broadcast. It is easy to see how each culture differs. Some are open to change, while others are more conservative, tentatively adapting. As time passes, will the next generation grow up with their ancestral customs and be segregated or will they acclimatize to Vancouver’s default culture. Whatever that is.“They have this idea that

Oh yeah Brazilians.” “Same goes for our culture too,” said Kaur, “It looks really rude, but it’s not rude.” Canadians are the wallflowers of the globe, even in their own country. And looking back at the definition of culture, there is one thing most Vancouverites can agree on; we are polite, soft spoken, and carefree. Sure we are health and safety freaks, and can be a bit pompous, but with a quick glance around the globe we can see that no culture is perfect. But it is reassuring to have a united trait.Whether Surrey will look the same as Richmond in 10 years that is still unknown. What we do know is that on any given day, on any Vancouver promenade, there will be a place for you. “That’s the thing I like here,” said Biscione, “I don’t ever get bored, I can do something new every day.” So perhaps that is Vancouver’s culture. The choice to be a piece in a mosaic in the morning and melt in a pot at night, it doesn’t matter, because in a city where everybody and everything is so different, there are no outsiders.

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Better with age Three reasons to date an older man By Avalon Doyle, Contributor

here comes a time in some men’s lives when everything they had planned until their mid-30s falls apart and they get a little wild. It’s commonly known as a mid-life crisis: one last shot at youthful frivolousness that often includes preying upon girls in their early 20s. I like to be that girl, and to help ease them gracefully through the crisis. This isn’t something I seek intentionally—it just happens. The beauty of a young man whose abs are rock hard and whose face is wrinkle-free is something I can totally appreciate because, honestly, I love all men and everything about them. There’s just something in particular about older men that appeals to me. I love their gruff voices, their rough hands, and their stories from a time that’s passed. So, in defense of every newly divorced middle-aged man rocking a receding hairline and a protective layer where his abs used to be, I’ve compiled this list of the benefits a girl can look forward to if she chooses to explore a little mid-life crisis territory. Sex. This might seem like an obvious one—god help the man who hasn’t figured it out after 40 years—but I really do think

it’s better. There’s definitely room for debate, but I think not growing up with mass amounts of free pornography at one’s fingertips via the Internet gives some of these dudes a boost in the boudoir. They learned by fumbling their way around a woman’s body and they picked up a few tricks over the extra years. I’ve never had that awkward moment with an older man where I’ve had to say something like, “Yeah man, not sure where you saw that move, but the only way my leg’s going where you want it is if you cut ‘er off.” Conversation. I once had an older man tell me that sex only makes up a very short amount of time with someone, and at some point, there needs to be a little non-physical interaction. Sometimes boys become men and they learn to enjoy a good conversation. We talk about art, music, politics, people, philosophy, or anything else you can think of. Wonderful conversationalists in their 20s do exist, but you get a unique perspective with an older man. You love Led Zeppelin? He saw them live in ’79. Work hard; play harder. Most middle-aged men are settled into careers that give them disposable income and vacation time. Over all the years they have on you, they’ve been buying boats, cabins, trucks, houses, jet skis, and timeshares in exotic locations. To loosely paraphrase Kanye West, I’m not saying I’m a gold digger,

but I’m not messing with the unemployed middle-aged. I have a job as well, and after I take care of my bills, I take my extra money and treat my man. I’ll pick up the dinner tab, bring gas money for boating, or bring an extra case of beer if we’re having a barbecue—no man can resist a young woman who shows up with beer. So keep a balance, but in the end, you’re still winning. To conclude, I date older men because I enjoy them. There’s an honesty to a man passing his prime; an honesty that isn’t there in his 20s. I lead a really busy life and I move around a lot, which makes it difficult to dedicate time to a real relationship or to playing games. They never ask me about the guy I just added on Facebook, and they don’t text me every minute of the day and demand to know why I’m not responding. I truly feel that my time is appreciated more with these older men than with the young guys I’ve slept with. I’m smart enough to know I’m not bringing that old guy home to my parents, marrying him, or planning a life with him. I’m given limited moments with him, and I’m having fun while it lasts.

Pulling the plug on Earth Hour By Eric Wilkins, Staff Writer

arth Hour, like so many great ideas, is wonderful in theory. In practice, it’s about as effective as trying to get through a bowl of soup with a fork; sure, you’re doing something, but you’re definitely not getting anywhere with it. The event supposedly takes place each year to promote awareness about climate change, but the stats on the energy saved during the hour of no power always seem to be the headline-grabber that they push—and the stats really

aren’t impressive. In this year’s Earth Hour, British Columbia saved 136 megawatt hours of electricity, which is the equivalent of turning off over 10 million

If that figure comes off as extremely underwhelming to you, don’t worry. It is. It’s not that I’m against saving the world or anything; I’m as much a supporter as

am, however, preaching logical thinking. If one of the main reasons Earth Hour exists is to discover and use new or existing forms of viable longterm energy sources, then

Earth Hour, like so many great ideas, is wonderful in theory. In practice, it’s about as effective as trying to get through a bowl of soup with a fork; sure, you’re doing something, but you’re definitely not getting anywhere with it. 12.5-watt LED light bulbs… which means the provincial electricity load was reduced by a whopping 1.95 per cent.

the next guy when it comes to finding sustainable energy and keeping an eye on global warming and all that jazz. I

why are we—especially in British Columbia—turning off our lights? Most of our power is generated through

hydroelectric facilities, which is one of the most environmentally-friendly and cheapest methods available. An hour without the lights on is a pointless act. If everybody left their car in the garage and just used public transit for an hour, that would, however minutely, actually say something. The mission of Earth Hour is admirable, but next time you’re about to embark on your quest to become an overzealous environmentalist for an hour, think about it first.

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Murder, maiming, and massacre? Meh Reflections on violence in the media By Keating Smith, Staff Writer “The cops are so weak in this game,” remarks my 10-year-old nephew while playing his latest video game, Bioshock Infinite. This same member of the household was sent home early from school a few weeks ago after he and a friend re-enacted a level in another violent video game and made threats of bodily harm to a young girl at their school. Over the past several months, the significant amount of violence I’ve been exposed to through various mediums has left a more than typically negative impression on me; one that I am now beginning to question. While the discussions and debates on how the media portrays violence to the masses is an exhausted topic, what seems to be a recurring trend in our generation is that we can’t differentiate between acts of violence. What’s the result? Young men walk into theatres, malls, and elementary schools armed to the teeth with semi-automatic assault rifles and carry out horrifying acts of violence on innocent people. The result

is gun control advocates and activists screaming their anger and outrage to the federal government, which results in the exhausted President of the United States holding yet another press release where he states how his administration will prevent this from happening again. This is not something new, and we were exposed to these tragedies on what seemed to be a monthly—sometimes weekly—basis in 2012. While Helen O’ Neill, a journalist for the Associated Press, dubbed 2012 the “Year of the Gun,” she also found that mass shootings are becoming less common in American society than they were during the early half of the 20th century. This is not to contradict the fact that we’re becoming so accustomed to stories of mass shootings that we now consider them to be mundane, but to emphasize how conditioned we’re becoming to violence in the media. The same can also be said for the ways that military operations are carried out— particularly with the use of drone technology by the United States. The advantages of using an unmanned aircraft to carry out a strike on a Taliban cell in the tribal regions of Afghanistan may outweigh the disadvantages of sending

a soldier in to carry out this operation. However, the person behind the controls of this drone may be sitting in Nevada at a military base using something reminiscent to a Xbox controller to carry out the operation. Again, this is a complete disassociation from being exposed first-hand to “real” violence, and is more than likely carried out by a young serviceman in the US military— who may have spent years in his bedroom playing video games before enlisting in the military. If we’re taught from a young age that life is precious and that harming others is bad, then why do we feel we can shrug off mass shootings seen in the mainstream media, or relate them to the fictional deaths of dozens of people we see in entertainment media? My final points I would like to leave off with are these: have you ever had to deal with a traumatic death in your life? Have you ever shot a gun before? If so, have you ever killed a large animal? If you have answered no to any of these questions, then why are you cheering on the brutal and unrealistic death of the antagonist in a movie, or feeling relief and accomplishment when you successfully beat a violent video game?

Screenshot from Grand Theft Auto Vice City

Transit terror Do you find using TransLink scary? By Sonia Panesar, Contributor

any students use TransLink to get around, and few students travel without witnessing drama on the SkyTrain or bus. I use transit to get almost everywhere—to school, the mall, and several other places—and something interesting always ends up happening. For instance, at Scott Road Station, the majority of the public races down the stairs for the 319 bus because, even though it’s a frequent bus, they’re all eager to get home. On one particular day, a man who seemed to be in his 50s was walking towards the escalator

while almost everyone else was running. While he was walking, a young man dashed by him. He got in this older man’s way, and the older man, furious, punched the boy in the face. The young man didn’t stop to fight, he just ran away. Everyone else ignored what had happened

everyone have to run for the bus?” He continued to rant away as he headed to the buses, adding a couple of swear words here and there. By the time I got to the bus, it was already packed and there was a line. I was very much aware that the older man

behind. The majority of us got onto it, and the man who was ranting finally made his way onto the bus and sat at the back. I managed to catch a glimpse of his face, and he had mucus running down from his nose, but he didn’t seem bothered by it.

I always see intimidating people on TransLink: some who talk to themselves, others who reek of alcohol or weed. It feels like an unsafe environment because we’re constantly surrounded by such characters. and proceeded with their lives— apart from skipping using the escalator since the older man stood with his arms spread wide so no one could get ahead of him. Like that wasn’t enough, he started yelling, “Why does

was taking his sweet time to get in line because he was still talking to himself. Since the bus was already full, it departed shortly. Luckily for the rest of us who were waiting, there was another bus parked at the stop

The bus was silent for some time—until someone started singing at the top of their lungs. We all realized that it was the older man, singing his heart out with his earphones plugged in. I wasn’t familiar

with the song, but I noticed that it had a lot of swearing in it. The lyrics of his song were completely inappropriate, and were poisoning the ears of the passengers on the bus. No one approached him, let alone asked him to stop singing. Honestly, he was regular-sized, he didn’t have a strong build, but I didn’t have the guts to approach him and ask him to be quiet. I always see intimidating people on TransLink: some who talk to themselves, others who reek of alcohol or weed. It feels like an unsafe environment because we’re constantly surrounded by such characters. When you’re on the SkyTrain or bus, it seems necessary to avoid eye contact with strangers, because who knows if they might snap at you, making you the next victim.

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The healing power of pets What a pet can do for your mental health By Angela Espinoza, Arts Editor

p until June of last year, I had never had a pet before—at least, not one that wasn’t a hamster. Inside a blue cardboard box with air holes was a scruffy little kitten, soon to be named Nibbler. In no time at all, Nibbler became an honourary Espinoza, and almost one year later, my family and I can’t imagine our lives without her. Whether it’s a little rabbit or a giant dog, eventually they’re going to bond with their owner. Sure, they’re going to form their own little quirks and “personalities,” but pets pick their mothers-of-sorts based on who most of their interactions are with. For Nibbler, despite technically having five owners, she spends most of her time with me, so obviously we have the strongest connection. How far this connection goes is the big question. I’ve found that if I’m at my wits end and I’m crying a lot, my cat will crawl all over me and meow until I stop—that’s a big deal. I don’t imagine all pets do that specifically, but a pet that shares a bond with you will at some point react to specific emotions. Another thing to note

is that just having another sentient entity around can do wonders for someone’s mental health in general. How animal companions can keep people happy is a subject that’s been researched for years, and because of this research, it’s widely known that having a pet around can lift up the spirits of everyone, from fragile seniors to people with depression. When you’re in a position where it’s almost impossible to stay positive, a pet’s company really can save the day. If for no other reason, walking through the door after a miserable day only to have a dog lick your face or a cat circle your leg is instantly uplifting. Always remember that just because a pet can’t “love” doesn’t mean they don’t recognize or aren’t attached to you. Not everybody wants or needs a pet,

but if you do and you know you’re allergic, don’t let that stop you. It’s important to find out what about an animal you’re allergic to; it can be anything from a specific dander (animal dandruff) to a specific fur— either way, find a pet that works for you! I can honestly say when it’s time to go to bed and

fall asleep, having Nibbler curl up beside me is, thus far, the best feeling in the world. That’s not just because she’s my cat, it’s because in the short year we’ve had together, my cat has found little ways to brighten up my day, even if they’ve been completely unintentional, and those little moments have done wonders for my

previously negative attitude towards life. Now let’s do each other a favour and not question the horrible scars she’s left behind on my arms from playtime.

of him. People say West has a big ego, that he’s too cocky, and that he’s an attention-seeking egomaniac. Perhaps all this is true—I haven’t hung out with Kanye West lately, so I can’t attest to these statements—but why should any of this matter? He’s a musician with immense talent, and this alone should get him the respect he deserves. A few weeks ago, I found West’s 2007 album Graduation in the car I drive at work, and I listened to it on repeat for a long time. The music he created on that album is excellent—and this is coming from someone who isn’t a huge listener of hip hop. After absorbing the album, I was perplexed by the hate that he receives. West is an artist who has worked hard to be where he is—harder than most

in the industry—and he makes my time driving the company car hour after hour a lot more enjoyable. If he wanted to put a giant gold statue of himself in his yard, I couldn’t care less because it doesn’t change the fact that his music is consistently groundbreaking. This is something that the world seems to forget. I use Kanye West as an example of something that happens a lot: artists who create incredible pieces getting ripped apart by the media that puts their lives under microscopes. It will likely never stop, but I hope it does. Many artists had to work incredibly hard to be where they are, and once they reach the top, what got them there seems to be less important than what food they were seen

buying at Whole Foods. Artists contribute a lot to society and a few of them get hefty financial rewards. Regardless, we need to show more respect for them and care less about their personal lives. Heck, even Mr. Bieber should get more kudos: he has a lot of fans who undoubtedly feel he has had a positive impact on their lives. You don’t need to be a fan of someone or something to have respect for them. Obviously there are people who do heinous things in their personal lives, and I’m not rooting for those outliers; I’m saying for the artists, such as Kanye West, who create masterpieces and do nothing terribly illegal, cut them some slack and show some love. They’re only human, after all.

Show some respect Celebrities aren’t flawless and they deserve our respect By Aidan Mouellic, Contributor “Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.” – Marianne Williamson There are few things we mock more than famous people. Their being in the spotlight yet not having a personal connection to us mere mortals seems to give us free reign to mock them and pick apart their lives. Internet

and social media platforms have given us real time insight into the lives of celebrities, and they have also given hordes of voyeurs a million opportunities to spit hate anonymously. The thing is, if you look at anyone’s life as closely as we do famous people’s, that person’s life will likely lend itself to critique and mockery. Sadly, a thousand memes could be made out of my life, and I’m sure yours could be mocked as well. No one’s perfect, yet we see famous people as if they’re supposed to be living some sort of magical, idealistic life where they do no wrong. One notable celebrity that the world loves to hate is Kanye West. The Google search suggestions are proof that people don’t think too highly

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A-Rod makes more than Houston Astros MLB’s luxury tax not working By Josh Martin, Sports Editor

lex Rodriguez, otherwise known as “A-Rod,” of the New York Yankees will make more money this year than the entire team of the Houston Astros combined. His $29-million-a-year salary ranks as the highest paid player in the MLB for the past several years, while the highest paid player on the Astros, Bud Norris, weighs in at $3 million annually. What is wrong with this picture? Without an enforced hard salary cap in the MLB and just a mere luxury tax that taxes teams that exceed the total salary amount allowed, players like A-Rod sign ridiculous contracts with rich teams like the Yankees, who tend to dominate the league over smaller teams. This season, 10 players on the Yankees will make $10 million or more, including three players in the $20-million-plus club. This huge chunk of change is no problem for the Yankees, who no doubt will have to pay a luxury tax this season. The first time a team exceeds the luxury tax they have to pay the league 22.5 per cent of the amount they are over, the second time teams must pay 30 per cent, and for every time after that is 40 per cent. The Yankees have paid a luxury tax for 10 consecutive years, totalling at $222.5 million and accounting for 95 per cent of the total fines. The Yankees are so rich that they can afford these star-studded players as well as this luxury tax—which was originally introduced to discourage teams from having a substantially higher payroll than the rest of the league. The Yankees’ payroll—projected at $228 million—is nearly 10 times that of the Astros, who have shrunk their payroll down to around $25 million. Is this luxury tax really working? The NHL and the NFL are both constructed around the hard salary cap system, where the league sets a maximum amount of money allowed for player salaries and no team can exceed that amount. The NBA uses a soft salary cap system, which is identical to the hard salary cap but with a few exceptions that allow teams

to exceed the cap limit when keeping players that are already on the team. Looking at the NHL specifically, the hard salary cap makes it fair for all 30 teams to compete without rich teams dominating the league. If the NHL was under the luxury tax system teams, like the Toronto Maple Leafs, New York Rangers, and Montreal Canadiens—who are the three richest teams in the league according to Forbes—would be the major destinations for all of the biggernamed players. These teams would be able to afford eight, nine, or even 10 superstars that all demand $8 million a year whereas the poorest team in the league, the St. Louis Blues—who finished second overall in the Western Conference last year— would be left in the dust. If you look at teams in the NHL, each one that makes the playoffs has a legitimate chance at winning the Stanley Cup, whether they’re rich or not. Take a look at the LA Kings last year, who just squeezed into the postseason grabbing the eighth and final playoff spot in the Western Conference. This doesn’t happen in the MLB. The teams that are most successful are the teams that are the wealthiest—with the exception to the Oakland Athletics, who changed history finishing first in the ALW despite only having $41-million in salary. The top four teams that have made the most appearances in the World Series are as follows: the Yankees (40), the San Francisco Giants (19), the St. Louis Cardinals (18), and the LA Dodgers (18). And it just so happens that according to Forbes, the Yankees and Dodgers are the top two wealthiest teams, while the Giants and Cardinals come in at seven and 10. If the MLB wants to have fairer competition amongst teams, then it’s about time they get rid of this petty luxury tax. Introducing a hard salary cap would change the game immensely, and bring in a stronger fan base across North America. The smaller teams would have a stronger chance in having success against these monstrous corporations. If a single player is making more than an entire team combined, then something has got to change.

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Football Fever: Audibles Ex-QBs making their way back By Eric Wilkins, Staff Writer

verybody loves a good comeback story. A classic tale of a has-been making one last attempt at the big leagues is the stuff movies are made from. The NFL currently has three quarterbacks trying to make their way back into the game. Unfortunately, none of them are quite Hollywood material. Pat White, Vince Young, and the ever-infamous JaMarcus Russell are all having one more kick at the can. Perhaps coming as a surprise to some, White looks to be the one most likely to stick on a roster at this point. After being cut by the Dolphins at the start of the 2010 season after being a second-round bust, White had a short stint in baseball before signing on for a brief time with the Virginia Destroyers of the UFL. And now the former West Virginia Mountaineer has seen interest in the form of workouts from the 49ers and the Giants, and appears to be gaining steam. With mobile quarterbacks becoming the flavour-of-the-day in the NFL, the agile White is gradually gathering a crowd around him. The 49ers look to be a good fit for White, due to the similar playing style he shares with starter Colin Kaepernick. Add in the fact that number two on the depth chart is currently Scott Tolzien, and White starts to look like a very attractive option. In contrast to White, Vince Young had it all going for him. He was the third-overall pick in the draft and was given every possible opportunity to succeed. To his credit, he made two Pro Bowls during his time in Tennessee, but he always had character concerns following him around. Under the stern Jeff Fisher, Young would become Rookie of the

Year, lose his starting gig, become Comeback Player of the Year, and then be cut. Young would later sign with the “Dream Team” in Philadelphia and then the Bills the next season, but would be cut before the season started. Rumours have been swirling about the former Texas Longhorn landing in New York, but nothing is concrete at this time. He was well overthe-hill and didn’t look to have much left in the few games he got as an Eagle, but when Mark Sanchez is your main man behind centre, it doesn’t hurt to try someone else out. JaMarcus Russell is definitely the most intriguing player of the three, but he’s also the most unlikely to make a successful comeback. The massive six-foot-six, 300-pluspound signal caller out of LSU is known to many as the biggest bust in NFL history. After being taken numberone overall in the draft by the Oakland Raiders, Russell would go on to have three of the most miserable seasons in history, before ultimately being shown the door with $39 million in his back pocket. It was inevitable really. Russell was a classic Al Davis pick; outstanding physical tools, but severely lacking in a few key areas—like quarterback smarts. He never settled into the role the franchise had envisioned for him, and it appears to have been mostly his fault. Falling asleep in meetings and a poor work ethic are rarely hallmarks of a future star, and Russell was no exception. He’ll get a look from a few teams, if only for curiosity’s sake, but don’t count on him barking out the snap count anytime soon. On a related note, the Raiders still haven’t recovered from Russell’s time in Oakland, and look set to have to go into a full rebuilding mode again since Carson Palmer hasn’t panned out. How does that man still have a job ?

JaMarcus Russell | Photo courtesy of

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Less is more NHL plans to reduce size of goalie pads By Elliot Chan, Staff Writer

n March 20, NHL general managers gathered in Toronto for the annual spring meeting. With discussions aimed at improving the game, plenty was on the agenda. But a key topic was about the shrinkage in goalie pads. For

the size of a hockey puck. While some managers are tired of arguing the topic, others believe it is unavoidable if NHL wants to increase goals and heighten entertainment. “When we’ve done it in the past, you’ve got to make sure we don’t expose goaltenders to injury,” said Colin Campbell, the league’s senior executive vice-president of hockey operations. “They play now to their equipment and how their equipment is fitted. That’s what we want to attack. It’s

of play. Winnipeg Jets’ goalie, Ondrej Pavelec believes that it is the different styles and options that make the game interesting. “How many times are they going to change the rules? I don’t think it’s that fair,” said Pavelec. “If you take something away from the goalies, you have to take something away from the players too. Okay, so we’re going to get small gear, we [should] give players wood sticks.” Decreasing the size of pads might increase more goals,

Hockey should be a showcase of athletic ability, so it is arguably cheating if a player has an upper hand because of their equipment. the past decade, executives in charge of the sport have been avidly trying to increase the hockey entertainment—in other words, they want to produce more goals. Since the days of Tony Esposito and Patrick Roy, goaltenders have adapted a new form in stopping pucks, thus changing the equipment. Goalie gears are currently built to give players an advantage when they go into the butterfly position. Dropping down to their knees, goalies are able to cover up their five-hole with the help of their pads, which takes up 55 per cent of the space between the knees to the pelvis. The present debate is to decrease 10 per cent of the space, which is approximately

a frustrating project, but it’s something that’s really affected the game the last 10 years.” Hockey should be a showcase of athletic ability, so it is arguably cheating if a player has an upper hand because of their equipment. Former goalie and current goaltending supervisor, Kay Whitmore, suggested that safety was not a big factor, “I watch games every night,” he said. “You see goalies playing [with] well under what they are allowed. Some of our best goalies are playing in that size equipment and they’re playing safely.” While some players choose smaller pads for flexibility in the stand-up position, others require heightened safety for their style

but many believe that fans are more interested in rivalries and competitiveness, rather than high scoring games. “I think it’s the speed, the skill, the passing. As long as the game is fast, I think it’ll be exciting,” said Chicago Blackhawks’ Corey Crawford. “Just because we get 10-8 hockey games doesn’t mean it’s going to be an exciting game.” He also added, “Shots keep getting harder, but for some reason, goalie equipment has to go down. Whatever. Whatever they do, just try to adjust to it.” If fair is fair for Pavelec, Crawford, and other NHL goalies, then nothing will change. But until the day modern goaltenders go back

Photo courtesy of Marianne Helm/Getty Images to wearing those hotel pillows around their shins to stop pucks, few are going to have sympathy for them. So the debate

continues and the new rule is developing and may be in effect as early as next year .

Coquitlam seeking Hall of Famers By Josh Martin, Sports Editor

re you an extraordinary athlete who resides in the city of Coquitlam? Do you have a dedication beyond the ordinary, a track record that blazes the path, and a passion to be the best possible athlete? If you have said yes to all of the above, then the Coquitlam Sports Hall of Fame wants you. Athletes and members of Coquitlam are invited to submit nominations for this year’s presentation, which will be held in June at the Poirier Sports and Leisure Complex.

The official Hall of Fame induction and Wall of Fame honours will be held on June 20 at the Coquitlam Sports Hall of Fame. The Hall of Fame includes legends Lui Passaglia, Kelley Law, and the ‘80 Coquitlam Adanacs, as well as Lars Hansen, Leah Pells, Chris Wilson, and Paralympian Ljiljo Ljubisic. If you would like to nominate yourself or others find information and nomination forms at www.coquitlamshof.com. But be sure to hurry, as the application deadline for 2013 nominations is April 8.

Photo courtesy of www.coquitlamshof.com

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The Ultimate help Rotary clubs put on tournament By Eric Wilkins, Staff Writer

ooking for a way to have fun while helping out a good cause? Then look no further, because under Rotary International’s umbrella, Rotaract (the 18-to-30-yearold division) and Interact (12-to-18-year-old division) are putting on an Ultimate Frisbee tournament on April 27—with all proceeds going towards KidSport. Rotary is recognized as the first worldwide volunteerservice organization and focuses on volunteering within communities, at home, and abroad. With Rotary’s theme this year being “Peace through service,” the organizers settled on a sports tournament as the best way to benefit the community. “We came up with it sometime in January,” says Rotaract secretary and Douglas College graduate, Corrigan Goodwin. “In war-torn areas of the world, like Africa and the

Middle-East, children from opposite sides of the war will play soccer or something… We were thinking around that idea, how amazing sports are. You can totally despise someone but still have a friendly game, put your differences aside, and have fun,” adds Amber Leverette, another event organizer. The next step was to decide what sport to focus on. “We didn’t want people to say, ‘I don’t know how to play football,’ or, ‘I can’t do tennis.’” They ultimately settled on Ultimate Frisbee because it was the, “perfect peaceful sport…started by hippies,” says Leverette with a laugh. The self-refereed nature of Ultimate and thus, the necessity and promotion of sportsmanship also played into the decision. “It’s a good representation of what we’re trying to show,” notes Corrigan. The five-on-five tournament will have both competitive teams and fun teams, with a suggested ratio of three males to two females per line. “And if you just want to have some fun, we’re having a skills area,

which is going to be for kids or family or people who just want to throw the Frisbee.” The registration fee is $25 per team or $5 per individual and a donation of a used or new piece of sporting equipment. Though the registration deadline is April 5, as the tournament isn’t completely full, teams can still try to register past the deadline. Drop-ins on the day of will also be accepted. “We’re not trying to turn anybody away,” says Leverette. The pair of Rotaract members couldn’t say enough about the support the event has received. “The Record made our poster…they did all the design for free, and Thrifty’s is doing our whole concession and Tim Hortons is bringing their truck out, and G&F Financial is giving us Frisbees, and Douglas College, we just went there asking if we could advertise and everybody said yes,” beams Corrigan.“ Leverette adds: “We definitely thank Thrifty’s, Tim Hortons, G&F Financial, The Record, and the youth centre, and KidSport…honestly, everybody in the community of New Westminster has been

Photo couretsy of Ed Yourdon on (Flickr) amazing to us.”

Leverette finishes with a last pitch, “It’s going to be fun! Even if you don’t play Frisbee, you can watch the tournament…buy a hot dog and sit around, grab cotton candy, or whatever you want. Just come out and enjoy the day!”

When: April 27, from 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.

The Jock Trap: What is your favourite sports memory? By Josh Martin, Sports Editor

Edric Morante

Sarah Chila

Third-year Sports Science

First-year Future Teacher’s

It’s probably when I drove in the game-winning run on my baseball team, probably three years ago now. We ended up winning a Provincial Championship. We partied really hard afterwards, but other than that, it was a really good moment. It was our first championship [as a] team.

“When I beat the shit out of a girl and I got kicked out of a league. She pushed over one of our main people who’s kind of small, so I went and fucked her up. I was beakin’ her and then she swung first and I punched her back. The ref came over and she was on the ground and then he kicked me out of the league.”

Where: Mercer Stadium, New Westminster Cost: $25 per team / $5 per individual, with a donation of used or new sporting equipment

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Diary of a boyfriend of a zombie-lover

Photo illustration by Joel McCarthy

Bill’s diary: DO NOT READ!!!! July 20, 2020 What the hell happened? Today was the launch of a new pill called Bonerific—it was guaranteed to work. I guess those scientists are responsible for causing the end of the world. People who get bit by them, eventually turn into them. They seem to live primarily off of humans, which can’t be good for anybody. The government should be making some kind of cure for this “zombiefication,” sometime soon I hope. Me and Doug should be fine until then… August 21, 2020 We had to keep moving if we wanted to survive. That’s why I haven’t written in so long. I don’t trust anyone anymore, except Doug. I’ve known him for as long as I can remember. I’m so glad I don’t need to face this on my own. Things went to hell pretty fast. I don’t think a cure’s coming anytime soon. I just need to rely on my instincts to get me through this. But then I saw “The Wall.” I thought, “This must mean civilization!” But then there were a whole bunch of zombies near the wall. I ducked for cover and tried not to scream like a little girl. Unfortunately, I was so concerned about saving my own ass that I forgot about Doug. He was torn apart by the

zombies. Lucky for me, a man shot them all. I screamed to the sky, damning Bonerific to the seven circles of Hell. It was then that the gunman told me to shut the fuck up and move my lazy, weeping ass towards sanctuary. August 22, 2020 The gunman’s daughter is hot. There, I said it. Her name is Lucy...or was it Lisa? All I know is that she has pretty blue-green eyes. I would like to swim in them like a swimming pool. But I don’t think her dad will let me even say hi to her. His name’s Burt and he’s a bit nuts, but he saved my life so I guess I should be grateful. I just wish he wasn’t such a hard-ass. August 23, 2020 Hallieliuyah, or however the fuck you spell it. Li-Cy likes me! Wait, that’s not her name. Was it Lisa-Lisa? Who the hell cares, she likes me! But I’m worried. She keeps talking about how hot it would be to date a real zombie. Well, I guess the bullet doesn’t fall too far from the gun. I think that’s how the saying goes.

August 24, 2020 I’m afraid Lysol is going to break up with me. I mean, I’ve only known her for a day and all, but I LOVE HER! She just dyed her hair green and now spends her days swooning over some douchebag zombie that keeps hanging around The Wall. When she looks me, her glare of disgust pierces my heart like an arrow. Why doesn’t she like me? I heroically defended myself like a coward against the swarm of zombies Wait, I hear Burt’s voice. He’s telling me to stop my pussy-ass whining and go to The Wall tomorrow to get some food. August 25, 2020 I’m going to be a total badass and get some food for us! Maybe this’ll win Lydia’s heart back to me! It just might! (NOTE: Bill was found a few days later at the base of the wall, torn apart by zombies. He won’t be missed by anyone.) With files from Steven Cayer and Livia Turnbull.

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Robot Comics | By Klara Woldenga/The Martlet (www,robotcomics.ca)

Blitztoons | By Ken Bablitz

By Joel McCarthy, Graphics Manager http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UdyAcym2TUU I know the running time of the video is long, but don’t be intimidated. This is art, dammit, and you may just have to show up late to class. This is a video I’m sure you will want to share with all of your friends; if I say any more, I’ll ruin the birthday surprise, so just sit back and enjoy. By the way, instead of being that person who writes “Happy Birthday, bro” on a Facebook wall, share this instead and you will be a legend!