The Other Press - January 12

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TELEPHONE: 604.525.3542 WEBSITE: theotherpress.ca EMAIL: editor@theotherpress.ca

STAFF LIST Eric Wilkins Editor-in-Chief  editor@theotherpress.ca Lauren Kelly Assistant Editor  assistant@theotherpress.ca Angela Ho Business Manager Jacey Gibb Distribution Manager Cara Seccafien Layout Manager Joel McCarthy Graphics Manager Elizabeth Jacob Production Assistant Ed Appleby Illustrator Jony Roy Social Media Coordinator Mercedes Deutscher News Editor  news@theotherpress.ca Now Hiring! Arts Editor  arts@theotherpress.ca Chitwan Khosla Features Editor  features@theotherpress.ca Brittney MacDonald Life & Style Editor  lifeandstyle@theotherpress.ca Elliot Chan Opinions Editor  opinions@theotherpress.ca Chandler Walter Humour Editor  humour@theotherpress.ca Staff Reporter Aaron Guillen Sports Reporter Davie Wong

And now for something completely different The Other Press has hit a special milestone this year: everyone’s favourite student publication is 40. Sure, 40 may not be that old in the grand scheme of things, and compared to other papers (such as the University of New Brunswick’s The Brunswickan—set to hit their 150th year of existence in 2017), the OP is fairly young, but it’s there. From the early days when amusing headlines such as “Disco-pub nights discontinued” and “Student Council meeting: Boring” graced the pages of this well-loved rag, to the graphically charged covers of today, the OP has stuck with it. The Other Press was actually started in opposition to the other Douglas College publication at the

time, The Pinion. While clearly having about as much imagination in naming the paper as a scientist (“dark matter”?—make an effort please), the OP nevertheless managed to prevail over their garbage competition. “Garbage” simply because the winners get to write the history books. You may ask, “Forty? But the paper is on Volume 42? Also, didn’t you have a 40th birthday feature not too long ago?” Yes, we are on Volume 42 but the paper came into being in 1976. Our hunch is that some years were split into two volumes. Fascinating, we know. And yes, we did have a feature two years ago on the history of the OP, but this issue isn’t looking to be nearly as self-gratifying.

Rather than give ourselves a good pat on the back about an accomplishment we personally have precious little to do with, the theme for this paper is that every single article is written as if it were from 1976—attempting to give a brief snapshot into the past. Old news, ancient arts, dated and/or offensive opinions, and even some articles genuinely from the time period can be found in this issue. Why the focus on the time and the school less than on the OP? Because the Other Press is, as noted at the top of every paper, “The Douglas College Newspaper Since 1976.” The Douglas College Newspaper. This publication exists for the students of the college and any others who care to pick it up.

Even the feature this week is a look at the college over the years rather than another autobiography of sorts. That’s not to say the OP doesn’t have an interesting past though, and several of us have immensely enjoyed poring over old papers. The writing. The feel. The look. It’s all completely different. So, without further ado, please have a gander through and let us know what you think. Hopefully the issue is as much fun for you to read as it was for us to put together.

Get to know us!

 The Other Press has been Douglas College’s student newspaper since 1976. Since 1978 we Staff Writers Now Hiring! Adam Tatelman Cazzy Lewchuk Senior Columnists Jerrison Oracion Lauren Paulsen David Manky Columnist Benjamin Howard Josh Visser

have been an autonomous publication, independent of the student union. We are a registered society under the Society Act of British Columbia, governed by an eight-person board of directors appointed by our staff. Our head office is located in the New Westminster campus.

 The Other Press is published weekly during the fall and winter semesters, and monthly during the summer. We receive our funding from a student levy collected through tutition fees every semester at registration, and from local and national advertising revenue. The Other Press is a member of the Canadian University Press (CUP), a syndicate of student newspapers that includes papers from all across Canada.

 The Other Press reserves the right to choose what we will publish, and we will not publish material that is hateful, obscene, or condones or promotes illegal activities. Submissions may be edited for clarity and brevity if necessary. All images used are copyright to their respective owners.

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news Canada’s tumultuous Olympics The highs and lows of Montreal’s Summer Olympic Games

The Summer Olympics in Montreal started off with a bang, not only because of the opening ceremonies, but also due to the controversy that encircled the International Olympic Committee (IOC) in relation to their stance on certain countries participating this year. In total, 33 countries, predominantly African ones, withdrew from competition, some after arrival in Canada. This was due to the IOC allowing New Zealand to participate even though their rugby team is currently touring South Africa, a nation that has been banned from the Olympics for 13 years for their refusal to rebuke apartheid, according to BBC. New Zealand’s Olympic Committee rebutted, claiming that 26 other countries had played in South Africa. However, the boycott still took place, resulting in the absence of over

Image via www.foxsports.com

Aaron Guillen Staff Reporter

300 athletes. Additionally, Taiwan withdrew due to the fact that they were not allowed to compete under the name “Republic of China” (ROC). PM Pierre Trudeau explained that since the People’s Republic of China (PRC) had just recently

been recognized, the name “Republic of China” was not feasible. Although Canada allowed the ROC to use their national flag and anthem during the Olympics, they still refused to participate. Although times were tough, an athlete named Nadia Comaneci enthralled

Olympic spectators with her astounding feats. . . At the age of 14, she will be remembered as the shining star of the 1976 Olympics. Comaneci, a Romanian gymnast, shocked the world when she made history by achieving the first perfect 10.0 for the uneven bars. Following

that achievement, Comaneci won two more gold medals, one silver, and one bronze. Another notable athlete that shined during the games was Bruce Jenner. Jenner, an American runner, participated in the decathlon, which consists of a series of track and field events. He won gold, while also setting a world record of 8,617 points. At the conclusion of the Games, the Soviet Union held centre stage, with their athletes winning a total of 125 medals—49 gold, 41 silver, and 35 bronze. East Germany, a considerably smaller country than most others, surprised some by clinching the second highest rank in these Summer Olympics. Although Canada had the misfortune of failing to win any gold medals, the host athletes were able to earn five silver and six bronze, landing Canada in 27th position overall.

Creative minds circuiting computer science Mercedes Deutscher News Editor For Steve Jobs, experimenting with electronics has always been a passion. Although he has not received any degree beyond high school, Jobs has been successful to date in a budding career in technology by working for Atari. Yet despite the excitement of working with video games, Jobs has his eyes on newer and better technologies with the help of his partner in innovation, Steve Wozniak. Jobs and Wozniak met five years ago at a garage computer club, where members would often experiment by building MITS Altairs—ready-to-build electronic calculators that are small enough to fit on a desktop. Wozniak has already found some small success in computer technology, having created a box that allows the user to make long-distance phone calls for free. The box stirred enough interest to sell a few hundred units. Both of the young men then started work on a new technology, using the MITS

Altairs as inspiration. Low on funds, Jobs sold his van in order to buy parts for the machine, while Wozniak parted with his HP calculator. Using parts bought from local computer shops, Jobs and Wozniak created the Apple. The Apple works by connecting a typewriter-esque keyboard to a circuit board. From there, the keyboard can be connected to a television monitor in order to create a display. Seeing potential in their creation, Jobs and Wozniak— along with another peer, Ronald Wayne—decided to start their own company by the name of Apple Computers Inc. Now, Jobs, Wozniak, and Wayne are looking to send their creation to the market. They hope to sell 50 units of the Apple, all of which are crafted by hand. So far, Apple Computers has had offers from Atari, Byte Shop, and Cramer Electronics. However, the Apple trio is uncertain how well their computer will sell, or who they will sell it to. Despite selling personal items and receiving a grant from a friend’s father to pay for the computer

Image via www.435mag.com

Brave new frontiers for two university dropouts

Steve Wozniak & Steve Jobs parts, money is scarce. Apple Computers has attempted to take out a loan to further fund the project with no success. The uncertainty is enough

to have Wayne reconsidering his part within Apple, although Jobs has stayed confident that they will reach a breakthrough somewhere, alluding to a

potential deal with Byte Shop, who have reportedly offered Apple computers $500 each on up to 50 assembled machines.


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news

World’s tallest tower belongs to Canada CN Tower finally open to the public

The CN Tower, the world’s tallest tower and free-standing structure, has been officially opened to the public, following a three-year construction process. This groundbreaking success stands at 1,815.4 feet high, and came with a price tag of $63 million. The new tower is just the beginning of the MetroCentre, a massive office and entertainment undertaking that Toronto officials say will turn the city into a bustling hub. Those who visit the tower can take in the breathtaking 360 degree view. Only a couple years ago, many high-rises began popping up all around Toronto. Although this building boom brought about the beginnings of a downtown skyline, it also brought problems. Issues with broadcasting arose as the signals that were being sent out from

transmitting towers would bounce off of the buildings. The only solution was taller towers, ensuring that everyone could receive quality television and radio broadcasts. By 1972, Canadian National (CN), a railway company, began coming up with a way to solve the communication problem. Their eventual solution, the CN Tower, would be built on Railway Lands, a large railway switching yard that had been rendered useless. Over the last three years, engineers brought the blueprint of the CN Tower to life, through multiple and elaborate tests, including the assessment of the surrounding soil and earth to ensure such a massive structure could be supported. As construction neared completion, the helicopter “Olga” gained popularity as many flocked to watch the vehicle transport the 46-piece antenna from bottom to top. Olga’s efficiency cut the construction time by almost five months.

Some question if the tower will hold up for a lifetime or more. Interestingly enough, Ned Baldwin, one of the architects who worked on the project, argues that that there is one situation that might bring it down sooner than later. “If you x-ray the anchorages and found corrosion, and you couldn’t engineer a solution, you’d have to take it down. Without it, the tower would be thrown into tension under high winds and would fall down,” Baldwin told the Toronto Star. However, thanks to the expertise of the professional engineers of today, it’s guaranteed that the anchors will steadily keep the structure upright for at least 300 years. Complete with 147 floors, including a restaurant and three observation points—the Space Deck, the Indoor Observation Level, and the Outdoor Observation Terrace—the CN Tower is a must-see attraction for Toronto tourists. It will be admired for decades to come.

Image via Wikimedia

Aaron Guillen Staff Reporter

Death penalty abolished nationwide House of Commons free votes 131-124, approves controversial Bill C-84

A controversial and historical bill has been passed by the House of Commons on July 14 in a free vote, with 131 members of Parliament voting in favour of abolishing the death penalty in Canada— narrowly passing the bill against 124 votes in opposition. Both Liberal and Conservative MPs were quite divided by the issue, as 37 Liberal MPs voted to keep the penalty and 16 Conservatives voted to abolish it. The NDP voted in solidarity, opposing the continuation of capital punishment. All three of the party leaders voted to abolish the penalty. There have been attempts to abolish the death penalty from as early as 1914. In the 1950s, a movement began to abolish capital punishment for youth offenders. The last time the House of Commons attempted to abolish the death penalty was in 1966; however, the bill was defeated. As a compromise, all death sentences were converted to non-capital punishments for

Illustration by Ed Appleby

Mercedes Deutscher News Editor

five years, a step which would be temporarily renewed for another five years in 1972. “Those who vote against the bill cannot escape their

personal share of responsibility for the hangings that will take place if the bill is defeated,” argued Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau in a

speech within the House of Commons, according to CBC. “Well, I’m pleased, but it’s not something to celebrate

because there’s a lot to be done in preventing crime,” said cabinet member, Warren Allmand, to CBC after the vote had taken place. “The principal goal is to prevent and reduce crime and that’s still got to be done.” However, the passing of the bill will not spell the end of controversies surrounding the death penalty in Canada, as Conservative MP John Reynolds explained: “It wasn’t a free vote! You’ve got cabinet ministers… they’re bound by cabinet rule to vote with the government ... When it’s that close, and when you’re looking at less than 50 per cent of the members of the House of Commons… [and] pass a law that 80 per cent of the people are against, I think you’re asking for trouble.” In place of capital punishment, adults who are convicted of first-degree murder will face a maximum sentence of a lifetime in prison with no possibility of parole for 25 years. The last Canadians to have been executed were Ronald Turpin and Arthur Lucas. They were hanged on December 11, 1962, having been sentenced to death for killing police officers.


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United States elects new Democrat president A review of Jimmy Carter’s rise to victory Mercedes Deutscher News Editor Another US election has passed, resulting in a victory for the Democrats and their candidate, Jimmy Carter, a former governor of Georgia, on November 2. Carter defeated incumbent president and Republican candidate Gerald Ford. Carter received 50.08 per cent of the popular vote and 55.2 per cent of the electoral vote, while Ford received 48.01 per cent of the popular vote and 44.6 per cent of the electoral vote, as shown by the US Election Atlas. The election came so close that the results were not fully totaled until early the next morning. The margin of popularity between the candidates is the closest to occur in a presidential election since 1916, according to PBS. Most of the swing states were central, with Georgia, Arkansas,

Mississippi, and Alabama containing the largest swing motions in the country. Carter did not start in high favour amongst Democrats, and had only a four per cent favour ranking within the party. However, in the course of a couple of months, Carter rose in the polls as the frontrunner for the Democrats, and even surpassed the approval ratings of former president Ford. Despite the disadvantage of running against the incumbent and being relatively unknown prior to his candidacy, Carter maintained an array of successes during the campaign, usually caused indirectly by blunders and inconsistencies by Ford. Carter’s obscurities and “clean-slate” fared well against Ford, who had a controversial image surrounding the Nixon administration and Watergate Scandal, despite having no direct hand in the scandal itself. Still, while Carter eventually

had a sizable lead in the polls over Ford, that margin narrowed up until the day of the election. Some of Carter’s support had dwindled after a controversial interview with Playboy Magazine, in which Carter had said: “I’ve looked on a lot of women with lust. I’ve committed adultery in my heart many times.” Although Carter’s answer led to some criticism from more conservative and religious voters, he also showed to be a more moderate, even conservative, Democrat, leading to some apprehension by America’s more liberal voters. As often pointed out by Ford, Carter was consistently called a “soft” candidate who could not handle the pressure of a presidential campaign. While Carter will not be inaugurated until January 1977, many feel optimistic about the upcoming president as the year slowly draws to an end.

Image via cryptomundo.com

Image via historc.wordpress.com

issue 16 / volume 42

Strange new shark intrigues scientists The discovery of the megamouth shark Lauren Paulsen Senior Columnist A discovery has been made by a US Navy ship 25 miles off the coast of Kane’ohe, Hawaii. While doing rounds, a soldier noticed something peculiar about the anchor. Walking closer to the bow of the ship, it was realized that there was a massive fish tangled in the anchor. It was in this way that the discovery of a new species of shark, the megamouth shark, came to be. This rare deep-water shark can reach 18 feet in length, almost the same length as the great white shark. Jaws fans needn’t be scared, however, as this is a gentle planktivorous specimen, one of three, including the enormous whale shark and the basking shark. It’s strange to think of a shark as being planktivorous, but the megamouth shark possesses a massive mouth to aid in capturing large amounts of

tiny plankton and jellyfish. This shark has a soft body, large head, and rubbery lips. Its mouth can reach up to four feet three inches wide. Interestingly, it has luminous photophores surrounding its mouth, which scientists believe might be used to lure plankton towards the shark. Interestingly, the shark is also a poor swimmer. Little else is known about the rare megamouth shark. Scientists are having a hard time deciding which family it belongs to, with suggestions being made that it shares the family Cetorhinidae with the basking shark. Currently, it is most widely accepted to be the sole species living today from the family Megachasmidae. Much more research is needed to learn about this interesting deep-water fish, and while its family line may still be under debate, no one can deny that this distinct-looking shark is a great discovery for marine biologists and ocean enthusiasts.


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Image via Wikimedia

news

NASA successfully lands on Mars Getting our first glimpse of the red planet Lauren Paulsen Senior Columnist Humans have always looked at the stars and wondered about visiting worlds up above, whether they are celestial in nature as the early humans thought, or more scientific, as humankind has discovered other planets. One of man’s greatest accomplishments was a successful landing on the moon. So why not go further? What about sending a probe to land on Earth’s red neighbour? NASA had been planning attempts to launch probes to Mars with their Voyager Mars Program for some time, but with program cuts in 1968,

the mission was cancelled entirely in 1971 because it was deemed too risky and expensive to launch two probes on a single rocket. Still, the planning and development for the Voyager Mars Program wasn’t to go to waste, as they were used as the basis for NASA’s new Viking Program. NASA’s Viking program consists of two probes called Viking 1 and Viking 2. Both are made up of an orbiter and a lander. The landers are supposed to study the surface of Mars, while the orbiters take pictures from space and receive information from the landers. Although the Viking program was cheaper and simpler than

the Voyager Mars Program, it is still the most ambitious, as well as most expensive—at a total cost of roughly $1 billion USD— mission ever sent to Mars. Viking 1 and Viking 2 were launched in 1975. On July 20 of this year, Viking 1 safely landed on the surface of Mars, and then on September 3, Viking 2 joined it. The data and photographs that they relayed back have forever changed astronomers’ view of Mars. What has been discovered is that Mars used to have water on its surface. Astronomers learned this by looking at the geological formations—formations that are usually only made by large amounts of water.

Another task of the landers was to conduct biological experiments to determine if there was any life in Martian soil. Interestingly, one of the experiments came up positive for current life. However, since neither of the other experiments came back positive with any organic molecules, most scientists believe that the positive results were instead caused by some sort of nonbiological chemical reactions in the soil. Many more experiments will need to be done to determine whether there truly is or isn’t any Martian life. Before NASA’s attempts, the Soviets tried in 1962. Unfortunately, their lander, the

Mars 1962B, was unsuccessful in launching. They tried again with probes Mars 2 and Mars 3, but Mars 2 crash-landed on the planet, and Mars 3 only managed to transmit for 20 seconds before failing, not even enough time to transmit a full picture. Although they were the first to land something human-made on the red surface, the Soviets’ attempts were ultimately unsuccessful. The success of the Viking program is only the beginning, since more probes will be sent out to collect data. As knowledge more advancements are made, it doesn’t seem so farfetched that one day a manned craft may land on the surface of Mars.

Questionable Quebec Mercedes Deutscher News Editor In a landslide victory, the emerging nationalist party Bloc Quebecois (BQ) ousted the Liberal Party and rose to power on November 15 in the Quebec provincial election. Their inaugural leader, Rene Levesque, will become the new Quebec premier. The BQ won a total of 71 seats, a 65-seat increase from their previous six-seat hold. The Liberals dropped 76 seats to finish with a total of 26. The Union Nationale gained 11 seats after not having any in the previous session. The victory marks a comeback for the Union Nationale, since the party had been experiencing a decline in support since the

Quiet Revolution—the period of increased industrialism in a rural Quebec in the 60s. Rene Levesque campaigned for the BQ on a platform of Quebec nationalism and sovereignty. A notable campaign promise was the idea of Quebec separating from the rest of Canada and forming its own nation. Levesque has suggested political autonomy for Quebec, while maintaining an economic partnership with Canada. How Levesque will follow through with his promise of a sovereign Quebec remains to be seen. The victory has both provincial and federal Liberals worried, especially with the building tensions between the people of Quebec and Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau, who wishes for Quebec to remain part of Canada.

Image via cnews.canoe.com

New leader further ignites increasing Quebec nationalism


arts A rags‑to‑riches tale of family feuds and daring duels

Screenshot from the film

‘Barry Lyndon’ movie review

Benjamin Howard Columnist I’ve finally seen Stanley Kubrick’s latest movie, Barry Lyndon, an 18th-century period‑piece based on William Makepeace Thackeray’s novel, The Luck of Barry Lyndon. It’s a simple tale of an Irishman’s serendipity in acquiring a fortune, and then his inevitable struggle in keeping it. Although I wouldn’t call the film a comedy, it’s quite funny at times. Many comedies derive their humour from dialogue, but Barry Lyndon has a more visual sense of humour, as a film should. I even shed a tear, though from sadness not laughter. I’ve seen many movies and maybe 10 have ever made me cry. Don’t let me deceive you though; I wouldn’t call this a sad movie, but it does have a few scenes that are quite touching. However, Barry Lyndon is more than a good story dressed up in pre‑Napoleonic garb. Eighteenth-century Europe is

such an integral element to this film that it would be impossible to repurpose the story to fit another era without it becoming entirely different. The music is suitable and memorable, featuring classical works as well as Irish folk songs (days later, I’m still humming the tunes), but it extends beyond just the music and costume of the time period. If people from that era could’ve made movies, this is how they would’ve made them. Many times while watching the film I exclaimed: “It looks like a painting!” Evidently I was onto something, because some of the shots are in fact directly inspired by real paintings from the 18th century. Somehow Kubrick recreated the sfumato effect once used by the likes of Da Vinci. Sfumato, derived from the Italian word for smoke, is the opposite of inking, a technique commonly used in cartoons. Strong lines are absent, hence it was dubbed sfumato, for there is a subtle haze and blend of colours around the edges. Still shots, with pleasantly

slow zooms and pans, make it all the more picturesque. Kubrick has yet again created a visual marvel. The cinematography is outstanding, and not just because of the gorgeous vistas of 18th-century Europe, but also because it was expertly shot. In trademark Kubrick style, the shots are often wide, unbroken, and stationary, with the background and foreground smartly framed. I can guess why this approach is not used more often by other directors: it’s hard. But there are great payoffs when this style is used effectively, as is the case with Barry Lyndon. Shots are held much longer compared to most films, which is to say that Barry Lyndon does more with less. There’s never any confusion about who’s doing what, what’s happening, or where. Since the camera lingers on wide shots with interesting foregrounds and backgrounds, the viewer is encouraged to look around, to smell the roses, yet is never lost. Whether the emphatic character of the scene is simply placed

in the centre or has a subtle spotlight cast on him, the eyes always know where to focus, yet retain the option to wander. This makes the film a joy to watch. I get a comforting feeling that Kubrick knows far more than I do about filmmaking. And while I’m not the best at figuring out exactly why he made the film the way he did, I can tell that there was a great deal of thought put into everything and that he had a vision. Kubrick seems to be the exception, however, for I get the sad impression that most directors do not have a vision, that they are simply doing their job as yet another cog in the Hollywood machine. It seems that most filmmakers are directors‑for‑hire, so to speak. Their work is competent but dispassionate. The vast majority of the films I’ve seen are somehow generic in their delivery, as if any director from Hollywood’s vast pocket could’ve been assigned for the film, and it wouldn’t have made a difference. Not

so with Barry Lyndon. I’m not talking superficially about style either; that can easily be imitated. Kubrick’s very soul is in this film. In spite of Barry Lyndon’s exceptional qualities, it will likely be overlooked. Sadly, one of the most refreshing things about the film could be its undoing at the box office: its unassuming, simple nature. Even amongst Kubrick’s works, I wouldn’t be surprised to see it shunned and neglected. It’s not a psychedelic space voyage with groundbreaking special effects, or a perverse social commentary—it’s just a period piece. Barry Lyndon, like fine food, is something to be savoured. The story is slow‑paced, yet never boring. It’s an indulgence in lengthy, wide shots, yet never pretentious. It’s a three‑hour feast for the eyes, yet never excessive. It’s an elegant, pleasant stroll through 18thcentury Europe. If you’re the type that demands satisfaction, Barry Lyndon will give it to you.


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arts

The medium is the message Adam Tatelman Staff Writer Sidney Lumet’s Network is a rare sort of film with the courage to bite the hand that feeds it. It seems the highest hypocrisy to make a film so critical about the very medium that permits its existence. How could it otherwise spread its message to so many people, if not with the incredible reach of broadcast? This is the paradox at the heart of Network. It doesn’t matter if we know every detail of the corporate interest behind the TV screen. The fact is we will keep watching all the same. The film concerns the newscasters of a low-end TV network called UBS. The Board decides that its news program must be accountable to the network and report the news in whatever biased way the network wishes. The program is downsized, leaving newscaster Howard Beale (Peter Finch) jobless. Depressed, he

announces on the air that he will broadcast his own suicide. UBS suddenly receives more public attention than ever before. Production lead Diana Christensen (Faye Dunaway) sees the potential for viewership in Howard’s mental breakdown. Against great pushback, she casts him in his own news show, shamelessly exploiting his rants against UBS for the network’s own gain. The show is an unprecedented success, partly because it is nothing but entertainment disguised as news. Her genius attracts the attention of division president Max Schumacher (William Holden), and the two end up in a May-December romance that puts Max’s family life in jeopardy. Network deals with the way television shapes culture. As Max himself notes, a generation now exists that has never lived in the time before television. An implicit trust was created between the

viewers and the broadcasters that what the viewers are being shown is actually the truth. But viewers do not know the interests behind what they are shown and begin to merge propaganda with reality. Despite the existential monologues and endless technical jargon, the film retains a personal, conversational connection between the characters. Their drama is the driving force behind the developments at UBS network, particularly where Max’s marital infidelities are concerned. The film’s shooting and lighting starts out similarly to typical Hollywood drama, then slowly grows to resemble the visual styles used by television advertisements. This happens gradually, accenting the creeping corruption that claims every character in the film save for Max’s spurned wife. The transformation is so subtle that it’s hard to say where any major change occurred. Before

Screenshot from the film

‘Network’ movie review

you know it, you’re tuning in to listen to Howard Beale, the Mad Prophet of the Airwaves. In one of the most impassioned speeches in the film, Howard incites audiences across the nation to get up from their chairs, go to their windows, stick out their heads, and yell: “I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!”

And they do, from Atlanta to Baton Rouge to New York City. It’s a beautiful moment of solidarity and clarity of purpose, but it also shows us the powerful hold television has on our lives. We know that, once their little revolution ended, everybody went back to wait for the TV to tell them what to do next.

Local band Earthbound brings the beat Progressive rock shakes up Vancouver Cheryl Minns Arts Editor What teenager doesn’t dream of starting a rock band with his friends and going professional? For one group of high school friends, their dreams of stardom have taken them from venues in Victoria to Vancouver as the band Earthbound. In the early ’70s, bassist John Larsen, drummer Bob Caldwell, and guitarist Paul Seale made their debut as a trio on a gymnasium stage during a grad dance at Oak Bay High School in Victoria. “I knew the bass player of the band playing at the grad dance and asked him if the three of us could get up and jam a tune. It was the first time the three of us had played together,” he said. “The crowd reaction was explosive and I believe we realized immediately thereafter that we had an intense synergy.” After graduation, Larsen, Caldwell, Seale, and keyboardist Ed Dolinski formed Earthbound, which was named after a live album recorded by progressive rock band King Crimson. “We played around the different venues and clubs in Victoria. Then we decided in 1975 to move over to Vancouver to continue our professional career because Victoria was fairly limited,” Caldwell said. “We started playing various

clubs in Vancouver under Bruce Allen’s agency.” For Earthbound, it’s all about the progressive rock music they play, both original and cover tracks. Although it’s a popular genre of music, it’s uncommon to find progressive rock cover bands in BC, which gives Earthbound an edge. “We’re into the technique of different time signatures, virtuosic playing, and really cool arrangements. It’s music for musicians,” Caldwell said. “We do a few tunes of original music, but most of our fans want to hear the progressive stuff.” However, Earthbound has discovered that Vancouver audiences aren’t quite as receptive to progressive rock as their Victoria audiences. “In Victoria clubs, we could get away with playing a bit more of the progressive rock material. But when we got to Vancouver, it didn’t go over so well. They want Top 40 stuff, a lot of ZZ Top, just the current stuff that’s going on,” Caldwell said. Although Earthbound is still in its early days, the band members hope to continue their musical journey for many years to come with larger shows and more original tunes. “In a perfect world, we would like to play big venues and do original prog rock music,” Caldwell said. “We would like to see ourselves continuing the tradition on the big stage.”


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issue 16 / volume 42

Long live the arcade!

Comic Corner: A totally bogus trip

This year’s greatest video arcade games Adam Tatelman Staff Writer

‘Combat Kelly and the Deadly Dozen: Stop the Luftwaffe, Win the War’ review

Breakout This one’s almost like tennis for one player—with cannonballs. The object of the game is to bounce a ball between your paddle at the bottom of the screen and the three layers of bricks lining the top. Hit a brick and you break through it, but your ball speeds up. The faster it goes, the harder you have to work to keep it bouncing. If you let the ball hit the bottom of the screen, you lose a turn. You get two extra balls though, so make them count! Death Race This one’s not for kids—but that won’t stop you from playing it! Based on the hit David Carradine film Death Race 2000, the object of the game is to run over as many gremlins as you can. Players use the steering wheel on the cabinet to drive the car. Hitting the gremlins causes them to disappear and be replaced with tombstones. If you hit a tombstone, it’s game over! That’s what’s so incredible about this game—it gets harder as your score gets higher! Blockade This one’s a game for two players, so bring your pals with you and go head-to-head! Each player controls a snake that gets longer over time. The longer you get, the easier it is to block your opponent with your tail—but be careful! If you let your snake get too long, you might run into your own tail and lose a turn. If you like high-risk, high-reward competitive gaming, then take this one to the max! Heavyweight Champ This one’s for all the kids who want to be boxers without getting a busted face. Each player grabs a lever that pumps in and out of the machine, so you’ve actually got to punch to play! You can also shift the lever up or down before punching to make your boxer on the screen punch for the face or the body. If you and your pals missed the fight last night, re-enact the highlights on this machine—the very first game to feature hand-to-hand combat! Moto-Cross The game so nice Sega branded it thrice! That’s right, Moto-Cross, Man T.T., and Fonz are really all the same game in different arcade cabinets. They all have the same handlebar controls. Pull up a chair and grip the handles, and you’ll feel like you’re really riding Fonzie’s motorcycle. Steer the handlebars to avoid obstacles and drive as far as you can to get the high score. If you crash, the controls actually rumble in your hands! That’s the miracle of haptic feedback, baby! Let’s face it. If you’re not in the arcade on the weekends, you’re as square as geometry class. The arcade is the new pool room and, as long as we have our quarters, the pastime will never die. The only way anyone could possibly outdo the arcade is if they found a way to put video games in people’s houses—but we all know that’s impossible! So save up those quarters, take the wheel, and say it with me: long live the arcade!

Screenshot from the games

Today I bring you a new series from Marvel, Combat Kelly and the Deadly Dozen: Stop the Luftwaffe, Win the War. Written by Gary Friedrich with art by John Severin, Dick Ayers, and Jim Mooney, this comic is nothing more than bunk propaganda. The story follows a cast of G.I. Jims and Johns as they fight the Nazis. Pretty simple, right? That’s because this story is about as overdone as you can get. There’s nothing interesting or exciting here. Marvel tried to jazz up the look a bit to trick the kiddos with a lot of guns and explosions into thinking all this pro-war, proAmericana stuff is good. But all it does is imply its readers are brainwashed into thinking America’s the hero in some global epic and Germany’s the big bad monster hiding in the

shadows waiting to snatch our glorious freedom. In that aspect, this comic book is just one big stereotype with a too familiar plot and a bunch of two-dimensional characters. Saying I dislike this comic book would be an understatement. It is probably one of the worst comics I have ever read. Even this short introduction into Combat Kelly and the Deadly Dozen made me loathe the idea of continuing to read any more from this series. That is, if Marvel decides to continue this series at all. Art-wise, Combat Kelly and the Deadly Dozen looks just like every other comic book released by any company since the ’50s: heavy inks, thick lines, and a severe attachment to primary colours. This means that any colour used in the comic book will be black; one of three intense versions of red, yellow, or blue; or a combination of those bright colours. Would I recommend this comic book? Absolutely not.

Image via the Marvel Database

Brittney MacDonald Life & Style Editor

There was a time when arcades were just places for kids to blow all their parents’ spare change on pinball, pizza, and pool. But that time is past, dig? This is the future! We pinball kids have quarters of our own now, and brand-spanking-new video arcade machines to spend them all in. Every year, a host of new arcade games muscles their way into the local arcade scene—everything from racing to boxing titles. This year was one of the best we’ve had so far, so let’s count down the five supreme quarter-crunchers of 1976!


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Chairman of the Board: I could be anybody Ed Appleby Illustrator Parlour games are a great way to break the ice at your next laidback chill-fest. But what if you really want something with a little more substance? Something that would prevent your guests from getting distracted by the latest episode of Happy Days? Well, this board game combines the deduction aspect of Clue with the classic elements of 20 questions. Whosit is a deduction game for 2–6 players published by Parker Brothers this year. In the game, players draw cards and ask questions to identify which of the 20 characters the other players are. A “yes” answer allows the player to draw another card and continue with the questioning, while a “no”

answer ends the player’s turn but allows a guess to be made as to the identity of other players. Even if the player guesses right, they must guess all of the characters in order to win the game. Questions relate to basic queries about the colour of the room, whether they are old or young, black or oriental, or if they are doing commonplace actions like wearing a hat or smoking. Some characters act oddly: the spy and gangster always lie, the censor always says “no,” the director answers “yes” then “no” regardless of the question. These characters really elevate the gameplay and pull it away from its 20 questions roots. This game is a great! The contemporary photography and deductive game style has the staying power to last for decades to come.

Illustration by Ed Appleby

‘Whosit’ board game review


sports Canadian Olympic Misfortune Davie Wong Sports Reporter

in their matches. The water polo team capped off a disappointing tournament by finishing ranked ninth out 0f twelfth. Only the men’s basketball team found a modicum of success. They came out of group stages 4-1 only to fall to the United States in the semi-finals, and then to the Soviet Union in the bronze medal match. For the first time in the nation’s history, we hosted the legendary collection of competitions known as the Olympics. As first times go, I don’t think it could have been much worse. Sure we could not have won any medals at all, but would that be all that worse than the abysmal amount that we did win? If these Olympic games sent any sort of message, it’s that Canada has a very long way to go in terms of summer games.

Canada’s Cheryl Gibson (left) & Becky Smith (right) celebrate their respective silver

Image via cdnolympic.com

Disappointment is the only word I can think of when I look back at this year’s summer Olympics. It was supposed to be our year, but what happened? We had the worst performance of any host country in the history of the Olympics. A total 11 medals—5 silver, 6 bronze—was all Canada could place in that very expensive display case in Montreal. Greg Joy took silver in the men’s high jump, John Wood took silver in men’s C-1 500m, Michel Vaillancourt took silver in the individual equestrian show jumping, and the men’s swimming team took silver in the 4 x 100 Medley Relay. If no one else did, at least the women’s swim team brought their game to the Olympics. Nancy

Garapick took bronze in both the 100 and 200-meter backstroke, while Shannon Smith took bronze in the 400-meter freestyle. Becky Smith took bronze in the 400m individual medley while fellow teammate Cheryl Gibson took silver. The 4 x 100 freestyle relay team took bronze along with the 4 x 100 Medley relay team. When it came to team competitions however, Canada looked out of place. In soccer Canada failed to pick up a win out of group stages and was eliminated from the competition. In handball Canada also failed to pick up a single win out of 5 group stage games. The field hockey team found some success in their venture; they won one game out of five group stage matches and were eliminated. Both the men and women’s volleyball teams found little success in their Olympics— neither were able to pick up a win

Image via collectionscanada.gc.ca

Canadian athletes record lowest medals for host country in history

Douglas basketball team wins over Alaska Brad Findlay leads the way Paul Smith Contributor A fast-breaking offence and aggressive play helped the Douglas College basketball team to a 79-66 win over Sheldon Jackson Junior College of Alaska last Thursday night. The team, said by many to be the best Douglas has ever had in its short history, is currently an improving two wins and four losses, with all four losses administered by teams in the

tough Surrey Men’s League. Brad Findlay led the locals with 23 points, followed by Don Robertson with 18. Also in double figures were Brad Redall and Mike Dendy with 15 and 11 points respectively. Doug Hicks topped the Alaskan team with 17 points. Douglas opened up an eightpoint lead at the end of the first half and never really looked back, although Alaska brought it to within six with two minutes left in the game.

But a bevy of baskets by the good guys spoiled any hopes of a comeback for the tall people of Sheldon Jackson, and the game ended with a victorious Douglas team going to the showers saying, “Did we win? Did we really win?” Coach Doug Woodward (no, stupid, not the store, the brother of the Ottawa Rough Rider Rod Woodward) did not seem overly ecstatic about the win, but said the team was “well-balanced.” Seven out of the eight players hit for points.

The win ensured Douglas a trip to Alaska for a tournament in early February, where they will be competing against junior colleges from south of the border as well as in the Lower Mainland. A strong game defensively was turned in by Larry Simister, who grabbed 10 rebounds for the winners. Other team members included Mike Kipp, Ammet Kular, George McCutcheon, and Paul Wilson. Apathy again was evident

at the game, with just a small crowd of family and friends in attendance. “The fan turnout is definitely disappointing,” said Dan Robertson. “We’ve got a chance to go all the way and no one will come and watch us.” It’s corny and it’s been said, but the team does need support, so how about giving it to them. This article was originally published on December 6, 1976 in Volume 2 Issue 2 of the Other Press




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West Coast expansion team flop first year Davie Wong Sports Reporter The hopes were never high for the new expansion league teams. While the Seattle Seahawks inaugural season was slightly better than the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, it was only so by a bit. What more is expected from a team that got to pick 39 of the worst players in the NFL to start a team? Their man under-center was Jim Zorn. He threw for slightly under 2,600 yards with 12 touchdowns; but those aren’t his most impressive stats. Throughout the 14 games in which he played, Zorn threw 27 interceptions. It didn’t help that the Seattle passing game was easier to read than a child’s book. Any defensive coordinators that could understand football knew how to stop Zorn. They just had to take away the pass to receiver Steve Largent. By the end of the season, these two had amassed 54 completions for a total of 705 yards. Even when defensive backs swarmed Largent, it seems that Zorn still threw to him. While Zorn was still considered a “threat” in the air, along with Largent, he had few alternatives. Even though Sherman Smith had played a mobile style of game while in college, he still primarily played quarterback when the Seahawks drafted him

in the second round. The fact that he had never played a down of professional football as a running back is astounding as that is exactly what the Seahawks wanted him to do. The transition was not an easy one—that was especially evident this season as he only rushed for 537 yards. Defensively, the Seahawks were a little better. Steve Niehaus, the Seahawks’ first round pick, won NFC Defensive Rookie of the Year, picking up nine and a half sacks throughout his season. Linebackers Mike Curtis and Ed Bradley, along with free safety Dave Brown combined for a total of 319 tackles. The mix of veterancy and youth may end up working out for the Seahawks, but they need more. They need a coach who can coach both sides of the game. Sure Jack Patera has worked with and is partially responsible for several successful defensive lines in his time, but this year, his lack of offensive knowledge was blatant. Oddly enough however, the fan support for the team have been unwavering. For the awful start that they’ve had, fans of the Seahawks have flocked out in the thousands to see the team play. The atmosphere at the Kingdome when the Seahawks play is contagious. It’s as if the fans don’t realize that the Seahawks don’t win. They just keep cheering.

Image via history.seahawks.com

What is a Seahawk?

Rugby team upsets Pocomo Gert Van Niekerk Contributor

The Douglas College first rugby team scored somewhat of an upset at Hume Park on Saturday, defeating pre-season favourites Pocomo by a score of 14-10. Both teams played an excellent calibre of rugby in an exciting match that went right down to the wire. With 10 minutes left in the game and the score tied at 10-10 Burt Kirby dived over to score what seemed a sure touchdown for Douglas, but the referee ruled Kirby had lost control of the ball and called the play back. The Douglas team, obviously rattled by this decision, were then pushed back to their own one yard line where they made a determined stand to keep out Pocomo. Auzzie Collin Phipps saved the situation when he made a rugged 25-yard dash, kicked

ahead, and then crushed the Pocomo fullback as he caught the ball. With time running out, Mark Andrews fielded a “sliced” kick by the Pocomo standoff and went tearing in for his second touchdown to put Douglas ahead for good. Jamie Booth kicked two excellent field goals for Douglas. The Douglas second team were less fortunate going down 12-0 to Pocomo seconds. Pocomo scored all 12 of their points in the first 15 minutes of the game and then defended tenaciously to shut out the Douglas assault. With half the schedule now complete, the first team is in joint second place in the eight-team league while the second team is in third place in the 10-team league. This article was originally published on December 6, 1976 in Volume 2 Issue 2 of the Other Press

Illsuration by T.H. Robinson

Trying times at Hume Park


Illustration by Ed Appleby

l&s

Feng shui Secrets to harmonize your home Brittney MacDonald Life & Style Editor Are you feeling stressed, anxious, or unhappy? Well, put down the valium and start thinking about a more natural path of aligning your energies with the universe around you. Hailing from the spiritual epicentre of ancient China, feng shui seeks to harmonize you with your living or working space. It’s simply a matter of redecoration and you could find your house radiating a calm and peaceful aura that will help erase those frazzled nerves.

The secret behind feng shui is the idea that what you surround yourself with affects your spiritual being and mood, therefore, if there’s chaos in your home—dust, dirty laundry, things out of place—that external chaos will be reflected back on your internal being, making you anxious or unhappy. But it’s not enough to keep your home in tip-top shape. In order to get the full experience you need to forget all you know about home décor, and start aligning your furniture in a way that will allow the energy of your house to flow in the right way.

To do this you can start with a few simple rules. Any workspace must be either facing or in sight of a door. This creates a position of power that will help you be more productive. So whether you are cutting coupons or prepping dinner, keep a door in sight to ensure speed and success. Let’s face it though, you probably won’t be able to see a door if you’re at the stove or reprimanding your children— that’s why you need mirrors! As long as a door is visible, you won’t lose your position of power, so the reflective surface of a mirror

is perfect for ensuring a door is never outside your line of sight. Installing mirrored accent walls will not only make your home look modern and chic, but it will also be great for your feng shui. Too much modernism will off set your energy, so be sure that no room in your house is without at least a touch of warmth. Whites and metallics give off a cold energy that could dampen your mood, so accent them with warm hues like yellow, orange, red, and brown. Alternatively, using only earth-tones in your décor palette will ensure that your

home is inviting, because nothing is better than nature. To harmonize your marriage, make sure everything in the bedroom is symmetrical— anything less reflects that there is an emotional void or disconnect between you and your husband. If you have architectural issues that prevent your bedroom from being perfectly symmetrical, such as windows, closets, or other features; try to duplicate them with mirrors or wardrobes. Doing so will create a spiritual equality between you and that special man in your life.

the concession stand’s display when it is being made. The hot dog bun is very spongy and it complements the taste of the hot dog. When you eat it with a soda, you have all the things you need for a baseball game. Pacific Coliseum Concession Stand Hot Dog: The good old hockey game is even better with this hot dog. It is all beef and

it tastes very delicious. The hot dog is a bit greasy and it is very chewy. If you get a hot dog at the concession stand, you increase the chances of the Vancouver Canucks winning a game!

Hot dog varieties Jerrison Oracion Senior Columnist The hot dog is one of everyone’s favourite foods. It is juicy and moist and you can find it in your local supermarket and in stadiums and arenas in the Lower Mainland. But what is the best hot dog? I went around the Lower Mainland to find out which hot dogs are juicy and have a lot of flavour. For this experiment, the store bought hot dogs are put in Wonder Hot Dog Buns and all of them have ketchup on top of them.

Schneider’s Wieners: The local Canadian company’s hot dogs are high quality and locally made. They have a chicken taste and they are very moist. Although they are not very juicy, the ketchup puts more flavour in it. It is very chewy and the hot dog bun makes it chewier. If you like a moist hot dog that does not have a lot of flavour, this is the hot dog to get. Maple Leaf Wieners: These hot dogs are very delicious. The product looks like what a hot dog should be. It has a lot of flavour because it is very juicy and it is soft, and the hot dog

fits well in the hot dog bun. These hot dogs taste very great and you will eat a lot of them. Fletcher’s Wieners: This company not only makes bacon, but also hot dogs! These hot dogs are very big and they are the size of a sausage. It has a hickory smoke taste which means that it tastes like it was barbequed. You may have to open your mouth very wide to eat this hot dog. Capilano Stadium Concession Stand Hot Dog: This hot dog is one of the best hot dogs in the Lower Mainland. The juicy taste of it is very rich, and you can watch it rolling in

Image via wikimedia

Where to get your dog around the Lower Mainland


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life&style

Image via muslib.ru

DOUGLIFE Jerald Walliser, Douglas College’s first Male Athlete of the Year, and George Woot ten, Douglas College’s first principal

Fashion is forever Hair today, gone tomorrow Adam Tatelman Staff Writer Here’s the skinny: this is the decade of disco dancin’, roller-bootin’, and Saturday night fever. Our generation’s got a sense of style like no other, and our hottest stars are blazing fashion trails every day of the week! There are so many new and exciting ways to wear your hair, they’re almost impossible to count. But count them we did, and with these fashion tips, you too can hit the dance floor in the image of your favorite TV stars! From the ‘fro to the jheri curl, these hip hairstyles are sure to stand the test of time! Can you dig it? Shag Style: The companion to Burt Reynolds ’staches across the nation, this simple style is the go-to choice for Donny Osmond fans across the nation. There’s no one way to do a shag— just make sure you’ve got bangs that cover your eyebrows and sweep that stuff to the side for an epic fringe. The best kind of shag is professional enough to take to your gig, but stylish enough to bring to the disco club you and your friends all bug out to after work. If you’ve got a little salt-and-pepper in your hair, this one’s for you. After all, it worked for Charles Bronson! Jheri Curl: What do Billy Dee Williams, Richard Pryor, and Michael Jackson all have in common? That’s right, they all wear the Jheri Curl! If your hair is naturally curly, get a perm to loosen up those curls and let them float free. How long you want your new curls to be is up to you. Some like it tall on the sides and flat in the middle, some like it short in the front and long at the back. The short-all-over jheri curl style is especially popular among standup comedians. Grow it out over time and decide how you want to style it. Travolta Trim: This hairstyle is strictly for

cool cats only. As it was written in the gospel according to Travolta, this look can only be achieved with an entire bottle of hair gel and at least an hour of combing, preferably with the Bee Gees playing in the background. The soundwaves help to achieve the right flare so your trim has body when you head out to dance the night away in cool city. White suit jacket and bell-bottom pants optional. Afro: Take it to the max with this fab ’do! Once your hair reaches your feet after a few months of unfettered growth, get the smallest curlers possible and prepare for the ultimate perm! Groom it like a chia pet with a fine toothed comb, run a pick through it, and voila! You have the most glorious mane any brother in platform shoes and a white jumpsuit could ask for. Hippy Locks: The ‘60s may be over, but that doesn’t mean you have to cut your hair! Joni Mitchell is still a hippy fashion icon today, proving that tie-dye blouses and earth-goddess locks never go out of style, baby. If you want to capture that far-out flair, the method couldn’t be simpler—just throw out all your trimming tools and treat hair product like toxic waste. Which it probably is, earth-child. Remember, there’s no telling what The Man puts in there! Once you’ve purified your toiletries, all you have to do is wait until your hair grows long enough to be a cape. Then you’re officially funkadelic. There are so many more styles to choose, from David Bowie’s epic Ziggy Stardust mullet to the incredible Bo Derek braids. Stars abound for you to emulate, but only the truly daring pioneers of fashion will dare to mix and match! Put a few braids in your shaggy afro, and who knows? You could be the next big thing! Catch you on the flipside!


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life&style

High-waisted bell-bottom slacks The perfect pants for men and women

Looking long and lean has been everyone’s goal since the dawn of time, but what if I told you that the perfect pant for both men and women was unisex? That’s right, the high-waisted, bell-bottom slack has taken over and it has everyone looking spectacular! Available in a variety of fabrics and colours, this trend has hit the streets with a vengeance. For women, it provides the perfect shape to slim their waist, cinching in those troubling love handles to create the perfect hourglass figure. Even if you have narrow hips, the volume at the bottom of the pant leg will offset your silhouette dramatically, making your thighs appear slimmer so your hips look more rotund. Couple this look with a large belt to further accentuate and shrink your waistline, as well as camouflage any belly fat. For men, a tighter waistline makes you look more barrelchested, and the tight fit through the groin highlights any “endowments” you might want to put on display for the ladies. Either way, your little sister might not be the only one stuffing this summer.

In order to ensure the perfect fit, make sure that your slacks are skin-tight through the seat and thigh of the pants. This will encase your buttocks, forming them into the perfect shape no matter your gender. Also bring along your favourite pair of platforms, so you can make sure that the hem of the pant ends at the base of your shoe. This will make you look taller by physically increasing your height to gargantuan proportions, and by association you will automatically appear leaner. Your slacks should be made of a strong, thick fabric, like denim or a synthetic alternative. This will make sure that nothing bags out. A synthetic fabric, like polyester, will not only look sharp and crisp, but it also won’t stretch or breathe so you know you’ll get plenty of wears out of it before you eventually have to replace it in the year 2200. Buying synthetic also means you won’t get stuck ironing them— just wear and go. But there is something to be said for the classic look of a nice tight denim or corduroy. These more natural fibers are better for hiding troublesome lumps and bumps, so if you’ve been hitting the Twinkies more than the gym, you won’t have to worry—just let the pants do the work for you!

Image via popularculture1970.com

Brittney MacDonald Life & Style Editor

Ham and bananas hollandaise The perfect lunch party surprise! Brittney MacDonald Life & Style Editor

Ingredients: 6 bananas ¼ cup lemon juice 1 tbsp lemon juice separate from the ¼ cup 6 slices of broiled deli ham 3 tbsp. mustard 2 packets of hollandaise sauce mix ¼ cup cream 1 cup water

Image via vintagerecipecards.com

Looking to inspire awe in all your friends? Well hit them with this fun party pleaser!

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees before lightly greasing a shallow baking dish. Next, peel your bananas, rub down each with lemon juice to prevent them from browning, but be gentle! Bananas are easily crushed if you squeeze too hard! Next, spread the mustard over one side of the ham slices, before wrapping each slice of ham around a banana, non-mustarded side facing outward. Arrange the ham-wrapped bananas in your shallow baking dish so they lay flat in a single layer, then bake them in the oven for 10 minutes. As the bananas bake, you can make the sauce! In a small sauce pot on the stove top, combine the packets of hollandaise sauce mix with the cup of water, the cup of cream, and the tbsp of lemon juice. Cook over medium heat, stirring with a whisk

constantly until the sauce is evenly mixed and hot. Next, take out your hamwrapped bananas and let them sit for approximately two minutes before pouring the hollandaise evenly over everything. Once that is done, put the shallow baking dish back in the oven and bake the bananas for an additional five minutes, or until the top is slightly browned. When serving, ensure perfect presentation by giving each guest their own banana to enjoy. Though it’s not hearty enough for dinner, add a fruit or green salad to make this the perfect brunch or lunch time treat with friends! They’ll be so impressed with your culinary prowess they will never ask you to cook again, for fear that you might never live up to the glory of this amazing meal!


opinions A retrospective of the Trudeau administration

Highlights and failures eight years in

Say what you will about the leader of our country, but no recent prime ministers have had an impact like Prime Minister Pierre Elliott Trudeau, and the excitement of having Trudeau in office may never surface again. During his eight years in office and two re-elections, Trudeau has been both heavily praised and criticized for his dynamic personality, womanizing, and powerful policy changes. Trudeau will be remembered for decades to come. One of his earliest and perhaps most lasting accomplishments was the defence of our recent socialized health care system—a more modern approach that is an essential part of taking care of our citizens. Quite recently, Trudeau abolished the death

Image via wikimedia

Cazzy Lewchuk Staff Writer

penalty in Canada, adopting the modern, civilized view that governments should not kill their own citizens. It’s only a matter of time until the US follows suit.

Of course, Trudeau’s administration has not been without its challenges, but his resilience throughout has only proven his competence.

Early on in his career, he faced radical Quebec liberationists, and made it clear such domestic extremism would not be tolerated. He clashed with Quebec on everything from Constitutional reform to multiculturalism, but he’s always worked through it. Trudeau has defended bilingualism against a growing demand for independence in Quebec. Quebec has a provincial election coming up this November—the results will be significant for its future and for the unity and future of this country. Whatever may happen, Trudeau will navigate through to continue carrying this province as part of our country’s culture. Internationally, Trudeau has set the stage for Canada to be a peaceful role model. His various economic policies have become particularly highlighted after working with US President Gerald

Ford to join the G6, changing the group to the G7. Canada now has a much louder voice in discussing world economic issues. We can look forward to unified and strengthened economies after the mess of this decade in the future. He is a divisive, polarizing politician. He works hard at his job of keeping Canada great, and he may suffer personally from it. The media loves to jump on the pressure felt by Trudeau, especially in his personal life. We all know his marriage is suffering, and the Trudeau home may become broken. Nevertheless, I remain confident that Trudeau’s popularity and leadership will endure. He will be re-elected yet again when the time is right and lead our country for years to come. His children will grow up to be responsible, productive Canadians—perhaps even great leaders in their own right.

be replaced with a robot one day, but I ask you this: how will you work with the technology? Computers aren’t stealing jobs away from people. Computers are changing the way people work. Take this example:

bank tellers are losing jobs to automated-teller machines. But then again, what are tellers doing to respond to this? They must innovate. We must see what has yet to be written.

Tell me what I want Elliot Chan Opinions Editor The old way of thinking: Nobody owns a computer because nobody needs one. Take a look at the new Apple 1, which came on sale this summer (July 1976). It looks like something a high school student built during the final days before the science fair. That crummy looking machine is worth the equivalent of a month’s salary for many middle-class people. Few consumers want computers, and even fewer understand them, but that is not how trends should continue. People are generally content with living day to day within a routine. Technology doesn’t abide by those rules. Technology disrupts, but it often takes many years for it to do so. The same way the printing press, the wristwatch, and the steam engine changed the world, I believe that computers can do the same. Yet when I approach every new technology—like the Apple 1—I still say: “Nah! I don’t need that. I’m happy with what I have.” I’m happy writing this article out on a pen and paper,

then transcribing it on a word processor, and transferring that to a printing press. That’s not a big deal to me. Steve Jobs, the young and hip founder of Apple, said: “People don’t know what they want until you show it to them… Our task is to read things that are not yet on the page.” It’s an inspiring quote that perfectly separates innovators from us mere mortals. This quote allows me to be even more optimistic about technology, knowing that in most cases it will win over. Will there one day be virtual reality, mobile payments, or robot vacuum cleaners available to consumers? Probably. It could happen within the year, or it could take 40 years, but to write off technology is an ignorant reaction to change. We all need to push in the direction of progress. We need to push with Jobs and the Apple 1. It’s easy to look to the past and think about how stupid those people were for doing things the “old” ways. Yet, what would the future generation say about us? Yes, technology is stealing jobs away from hardworking people, but I don’t believe that is a bad thing. I believe that

Image via wikimedia

How Apple is changing our outlook on technology

people, like technology, should evolve. We need to start thinking like innovators and less like routine-orientated consumers. We should not just pick a job and stick with it. If you look at it, pretty much every job could


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issue 16 / volume 42

What happened when George R. R. Martin finished his first book Elliot Chan Opinions Editor Young author George R. R. Martin’s first collection of novellas and short stories, A Song for Lya, is being published this year. There is probably not going to be a big launch party. There is probably not going to be coverage from multiple media sources. And there are probably not going to be lineups outside the bookstore. It is probably going to be a modest event with reserved excitement. For a writer, there doesn’t need to be a big event, because there is nothing more exhilarating than seeing one’s works there, visible on shelves at a local bookstore. It must be the same sensation musicians feel when they hear their song on the radio, or how actors feel when they see their face on the screens. Yet, at what point does that thrill fade? As artists, your profession is also your passion, right? That’s why when I see an artist with an insipid attitude towards their craft, I wonder: Why pursue this daunting,

critical, often thankless, often highly demanding, sometimes soul-crushing, most often a poor return of investment brand of work? Why climb Mount Everest if you dislike heights? Hopefully, this young Martin fellow can recall that initial sensation of accomplishment for having been published if he continues to write, and will never feel resentful towards any fame or success he gains. My advice to Martin and to other young writers is to always be carefully aware of the scope of one’s craft—what it will mean to you, and what it will mean to the greater public. If you create something people love, what responsibility do you have to continue delivering? How much do you owe to those who have raised you to such prowess? I was speaking with Stephen King, another young writer, and we were bouncing ideas around. He had this outline for a novel called Misery. It’s about an author who is captured by an obsessed fan and held hostage in an attempt to get him to write another book. That’s the risk

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How to be successful and create your own ‘Misery’

of being beloved; you are not actually loved. I hope King gets around to writing that book soon. I think it’ll be good. Let’s hope we never do the same thing to Martin. We love his work, but we don’t care about him as a human being. He won’t win us over with his delightful personality or his literary, sci-fi, or fantasy expertise. We’ll respect

him for the awesome work he will surely produce. But if we want more, he’ll have to supply it or find someone to help. Artists need to think of their work like starting a franchise. Books are the business. Understandably, when it comes to artworks, the artists get personally attached, because writing is, in essence, a birthing

process. But if they’re not able to maintain their franchise, the artists should sell their rights to their work or hand the reigns to trustworthy partners. Although it would be tough to give their art up for adoption, if the author does not have the capability to raise it properly, would the right thing to do not be giving it up for the fan’s sake?

Dear refugees from Vietnam Elliot Chan Opinions Editor A few years ago, my mother’s side of the family emigrated to Canada, France, and the United States from their home country, which had been torn apart by the Vietnam War, in the hope of starting a new life. So here I am now. What my family went through must have been tumultuous and frightening. Hopefully they can put those experiences in the past. The following is some advice I have to give to not just my family, but to all immigrants, from all over the world, because there is so much to learn in this new world. Language: One of the first things I would tell them is how important proficiency in English is. It’s true that Canada is a multicultural country, but only in select parts of it. The majority of Canada is still predominantly English speaking. Having a strong command in English is the first step to getting work that isn’t in a kitchen or warehouse. Owning property: Homeless to homeowner in a few years. It can happen. This

is the country of opportunity. Get a job, save up, and buy property. Invest in the suburbs surrounding the urban core, where property prices are very reasonable for families. Canada loves immigrants, and our population will surely boom, thus increasing the value over time. Travel: I don’t believe travel is a practice you learn in your latter years. I think it is the best form of education both personally and socially. I understand that being immigrants means that at one point they were put through an arduous trip, but traveling in all forms is an opportunity for growth. My family members are citizens of Canada now, but they could be citizens of the world (even though there is much to see in Canada). Hobbies: In developing countries, hobbies are for survival. In the developed countries, hobbies are for survival too, but in a more personal way. In this new world, my family works, comes home, watches television, goes to sleep, and repeats those steps. They don’t have hobbies per se. My mom is a practicing Buddhist, so she is a part of some communities, but she doesn’t have any personal

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My advice for new immigrants

projects—except for raising me, I guess. I believe personal projects, be they reading books, building miniatures, learning to cook, or working on puzzles, are a substantial record of accomplishments. Finding

an area of interest to focus on helps create an identity, not just for other people to view you, but how you view yourself. Refugees, like my mom, are still finding homes and creating their lives in Canada.

They walk among us every day. In this country, there is so much freedom, and I wouldn’t want any new citizen to squander it by living only to pay their bills.


20

opinions

Whoa, man

Discrimination or logical tradition?

My mother is a great cook, a capable driver, and a wonderful childminder. All of these talents have been on full display for the last 20+ years as she’s raised me and my three siblings. She enjoys being a mother and staying at home—leaving our father to head to the office every morning to make ends meet. We’re a happy family with few complaints who generally do little to rock the boat. We try to avoid radical and scarring new thinking. Unfortunately, it should appear the rest of the world is not of a like mind. The U.K. passed their Sexual Discrimination Act of 1975 last year, an act whose intention is, “…to render unlawful certain kinds of sex discrimination and discrimination on the ground of marriage, and establish a Commission with the function of working towards the elimination of such discrimination

and promoting equality of opportunity between men and women generally; and for related purposes.” What does that even mean? The confusing wording almost leads one to believe that this is a positive step for humanity when it’s actually just a ruse by those few differently wired people who want to force their beliefs on others. There being a natural order to the world is hardly discrimination, and labelling it as such is not only highly irrational (much like your girlfriend when she says she’s fine) but a disservice to society. Young people have enough difficulty growing up well-balanced without having to worry about such nonsense. It’s all so wildly unnecessary anyway. Women are allowed to go get jobs if they want— they’re just a better fit at home to raise the family. According to recent surveys: “47 per cent of women 20–64 years of age who were either married or living

in a commonlaw relationship participated in the labour market.” Forty-seven per cent is nothing to shake a fist at. There are clearly women who aren’t bothered by whatever “discrimination” is being perceived by these raging feminists. Do they really expect there to be more than 50 per cent of married women wanting to work? My thought process shouldn’t be the one under fire here for sounding too crazy. A section of the Act reads that a person subjects a woman to harassment if: “he engages in any form of unwanted verbal, non-verbal, or physical conduct of a sexual nature that has the purpose or effect— (i) of violating her dignity, or (ii) of creating an intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating or offensive environment for her.” It reads fairly reasonably until the implication of the text is fully realized. My father’s already started to notice some minor resistance in the workplace to

such commonplace actions as ass slaps, but apparently this Act recognizes something as friendly as a pat on the butt to be discrimination. What’s the world coming to? Many women even seem to enjoy such office camaraderie—why is the U.K. trying to destroy friendly tradition? If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. On top of all of this, job ads have to be sexless now. This is completely out of order. If someone is hiring for their company they should have every right to pick whomever they want. If they happen to want to project a strong workplace dominated by men, who’s the government to say they can’t? What kind of a democracy is this if a business owner can’t control how their business is run? In conjunction with the Equal Pay Act of 1970, this whole gender equality fiasco is getting out of hand. Women’s earnings (as of

1972) are approximately 51.1 per cent of men’s—which seems about right. Men are generally better qualified and just handle the stresses of the world more efficiently. Pay should reflect that. I don’t know what coming years will bring, and there are rumblings of a similar act coming to Canada in the near future, but it’s my hope that our generation can weather this baffling storm. Equality? Discrimination? Women don’t want to be at work any more than men want to be at home babysitting the kids. If this keeps up, you’ll have girls trying to enter positions illsuited for their natural talents, such as leading companies, taking an active part in politics, and perhaps even flying planes instead of ensuring passengers have what snacks they need. Next thing you know, there’ll be a generation so turned around that the man will stay at home with the children while the women brings home the dough. Ha! That’ll be the day.

Image via www.pinterest.com

Brody Steves Contributor


humour

Local man late to meeting Had no convenient way to tell friend

In tragic breaking news today, Stewart Martin, a student at Douglas College, was late to meet his friend Will Mackentosh, and had no instant and convenient way to communicate with him. “It was crazy,” said Martin of the challenges he faced. “I called him up on our house phone to arrange a time to meet, but on the way to the local soda shop, my bus broke down half an hour away. I was stranded.” To further Martin’s difficulty, he could not find any sort of pay phone in the area, nor had any change, even if that had been a possibility. “The only things I had in my pockets were pencils and some

string I carry around to look at or play with when I’m bored or waiting on something,” stated Martin. “Even after I decided to literally talk to the human beings around me, no one knew if another bus would be coming, or had a map handy to show me along my way.” Martin decided that his best—and only—course of action was to walk along the street that the bus was heading down, and maybe knock on a complete stranger’s door to ask if he could use their phone. Meanwhile, Mackentosh simply sat at the soda shop waiting for his friend, for however long it would take. “That’s just what you have to do,” Mackentosh explained. “I didn’t want to leave, because what if he showed up right when I left? We literally have no way to communicate our whereabouts, here in 1976.”

It was dark by the time Martin found his way over to the soda shop, where the two friends feasted on $0.33 cheeseburgers and $0.35 milkshakes, had a meaningful conversation in which both parties stayed engaged for the entirety of the time spent together, and then parted ways. “It was nice to see him,” said Martin, shortly after arriving home. “But what I wouldn’t give for some sort of pocket sized communications device. Hell even having a convenient map or bus timetable handy would have been nice. Oh well.” Martin spent the rest of the night playing cards with his family, watched an hour or so of TV, read a few chapters, and then promptly went to sleep once all possible forms of entertainment had been exhausted.

Image via thinkstock

Chandler Walter Humour Editor

A look into the far-off future of 2016 Cazzy Lewchuk Staff Writer The problem with predicting the future is that—obviously—it hasn’t happened yet. Current trends and scientific analysis allow us to at least speculate on what our lives will be like in the far off 21st century. We face many problems today—high inflation, tension in the Middle East, an oil crisis, political corruption, the rise of war. Such problems are a reflection of this flawed time. Soon, the younger, more progressive minds will graduate from college and solve all of these issues. We can enter a new era—in, say, no more than four decades—of peace and prosperity worldwide. The increased tensions will fizzle out, and the Middle Eastern countries will coexist peacefully without war. Inflation will come to a standpoint, and a fair living wage will be established for all citizens. Renewable power sources will rise as an alternative to oil, saving the environment. By 2016 at the latest, it will be a wonderful time to be alive. That said, here are some new problems that we will have to deal with by 2016: Not having a cool car. With all the vehicles flying in

the air and being powered by electricity, we can no longer drag race and burn rubber. Cars won’t be fast and furious: we’ll have to find another way to show that our environmentallyfriendly rides are number one. Everyone will be too smart: Post-secondary education will be more affordable than ever! By the next generation, everyone will have graduated from worldrenowned universities in North America. With such diverse knowledge contained in the general population, our smug senses of superiority amongst each other will vanish. No choice of fashion: If Logan’s Run taught me anything, it’s that, in the future, we’ll all wear one-piece outfits of silver, or go back to the tunic. Fashion trends come and go with each decade, but pretty soon we can all just seal ourselves into sparkly spandex for life. It won’t look very good. Military becomes useless: In an era of global world peace, there will be no need to send troops into Iran, Afghanistan, or anywhere else for that matter. Many members of our military will be out of jobs, and our perfectly good tanks and bombs will be left to rust. Everyone will probably be nuked by Russia: While

Illustration by Ed Appleby

Problems and improvements in four decades

most countries can resolve their differences, the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics is only growing bigger by the day. By the time 2016 rolls around,

we’ll all be pledging allegiance to Mother Russia—that is, if they haven’t decided to blow us into the ground first. World peace will mean nothing once

a political leader finally snaps and decides to use one of their thousands of bombs capable of destroying a small city. I’ll see you in my bunker.


22

humour

New metal band Iron Maiden forms Reviews point to sub-par future at best Chandler Walter Humour Editor

Image via www.legacyrecordings.com

Iron Maiden played a small venue shortly after forming this past Christmas, and many who were there do not believe that this small time metal band will ever make a name for themselves. “It sounded like utter rubbish,” said music critic Allen Woodbury. “It just isn’t metal as it should be. They could learn a lesson or two from bands like Black Sabbath, or Led Zeppelin. This band is going nowhere fast. And what is with that name, Iron Maiden? That’s just not the kind of name that will catch on with the people.”

Iron Maiden band members reacted badly to their latest reviews, and have reportedly

vowed to show their doubters wrong. “We may be small time for now, but just you wait!” said frontman Paul Day. “We’ll probably just get rid of the singer,” said leader of the band and bassist, Steve Harris. “Like, within the year, he’s gone.” Many critics are calling the music Iron Maiden creates “too loud” and “way too heavy for metal,” while at the same time praising the disco genre that has been emerging over the past

few years. The subgenre of punk metal has also seen an increase of popularity, but according to experts, will soon fall fast. Jim Sturgens, a musical analyst, explained that the direction of popular music is taking a turn away from conventional instruments. “With the new technology that’s being developed, all kinds of noises and sounds—and yes, even full songs—are being created using nothing more

by David Manky, Senior Columnist

than computers. There is no more need for strumming on strings or blowing into brass tubes. Within the next 30 or 40 years, all music will be being created purely by computers, and it will sound better than anything that could possibly be done live. Hell, they’re coming up with a way to automatically tune a singer’s voice! Why would anyone listen to anything other than songs like that?” Whether Iron Maiden will

ever be able to find a niche in the changing music scene is still to be seen, but many, including Sturgens, are doubtful. “No one is going to want to watch sweaty, long haired men on stage. People want dancing, they want fun. This whole ‘metal’ thing is just a passing fad, and will probably be long gone in a few years from now. If they really want to make a name for themselves, they should just pull a Kiss—people love face paint.”


23

issue 16 / volume 42

Personal computers in development New technology to flop, says experts

Bill Gates, a young Harvard student with a knack for all things technological, has been working at MITS in Albuquerque with Paul Allen to create the world’s first “personal computer.” These personal computers—or PCs, as Gates likes to call them—are said to be as small as your tube at home, and have the ability to process information at an exceptional rate. Gates and Allen have named their partnership “Micro-Soft” and strive to have “a computer in every home by the turn of the century.” Many experts in the technological community are scoffing at the two young men, most notably technology writer Steve Robbins. “These two kids are crazy,” he stated in an article. “There is no way that computers will ever be brought down to a size that small. There’re too many parts to them! It’s nothing but a pipe dream.” The public is reacting badly to the news of this idea as well. “Why would I want to have a clunky computer in my house anyways?” said Sharon Mills, a stay-at-home mother of two. “Anything I would use it for I can already do! I mean heck, I already have a phone right there in my kitchen, and with five channels to choose from on the tube, I’m already overwhelmed with entertainment.” Peter Worthington, Editor-in-Chief at the Toronto Sun, spoke to what impacts he thinks the emergence of PCs might have on his paper. “It’s nothing to worry about. I mean sure, we’ve lost some business to the radio and the television, but all anyone is going to be reading on these computer things is nerdy, sciency

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Chandler Walter Humour Editor

stuff anyways. We print journalists will be fine. Just you wait and see.” In a recent interview, Gates stressed the importance of his new technology, and how it would change the world we live in. “It will be revolutionary,” he said. “It will connect people from all over the

by Cara Seccafien, Layout Manager

world. Just think, any information you might want at your finger tips. No going to the library and looking through stacks of books. The world’s brightest minds will be connected for the first time.” When asked about the screening process for who could contribute to the

conversation, and if this meant that anyone could write whatever they want about anything, Gates was positive that no trouble would come from an open platform. “I mean, sometimes you will get the occasional jokester, but I doubt there will be very much of that on the Internet.”

by Josh Visser, Columnist



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