News.
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WHO WE ARE The Other Press has been Douglas College’s student newspaper since 1976. Since 1978 we have been an autonomous publication, independent of the student union. We are a registered society under the Society Act of British Columbia, governed by an eight-person board of directors appointed by and from our staff. Our head office is located in the New Westminster campus. The Other Press is published weekly during the fall and winter semesters, and monthly during the summer. We receive our funding from a student levy collected through tutition fees every semester at registration, and
from local and national advertising revenue. The Other Press is a member of the Canadian University Press (CUP), a syndicate of student newspapers that includes papers from all across Canada. The Other Press reserves the right to choose what we will publish, and we will not publish material that is hateful, obscene, or condones or promotes illegal activities. Submissions may be edited for clarity and brevity if necessary. All images used are copyright to their respective owners.
THE DOUGLAS COLLEGE NEWSPAPER SINCE 1978
OtherPress. The
Student Newspaper of Douglas College PUBLISHED SINCE 1976
Room 1020 – 700 Douglas College Royal Avenue
New Westminster, BC V3L 5B2 TELEPHONE: 604.525.3542
EDITOR IN CHIEF Cody Klyne editor@theotherpress.ca
OPINIONS EDITOR Jacey Gibb opinions@theotherpress.ca
ASSISTANT EDITOR Sharon Miki assistant@theotherpress.ca
SPORTS EDITOR Josh Martin sports@theotherpress.ca
BUSINESS MANAGER Angela Szczur accounting@theotherpress.ca
HUMOUR EDITOR Liam Britten humour@theotherpress.ca
PUBLIC RELATIONS MANAGER Stephanie Trembath publicrelations@theotherpress.ca
STAFF WRITERS Allie Davison Dylan Hackett Eric Wilkins
DISTRIBUTION MANAGER Chris Paik distribution@theotherpress.ca ADVERTISING MANAGER Ashlee Cichon advertising@theotherpress.ca NEWS EDITOR Maria Asselin-Roy news@theotherpress.ca ARTS EDITOR Angela Espinoza arts@theotherpress.ca
NEWS
Is Coquitlam’s Evergreen Line on track?
Maria Asselin-Roy, pg. 05
ARTS
All of the lights: MOV explores Vancouver’s neon past
Dylan Hackett, pg. 07
LIFE&STYLE
‘Stache style tips for Movember’s end
Laurel Borrowman, pg. 09
FEATURE
LAYOUT MANAGER Brian Yoo layout@theotherpress.ca GRAPHICS Timothy Arndt graphics@theotherpress.ca CONTRIBUTORS Bryce Tarling David Hollinshead Kyle Wallis Livia Turnbull Matt Visser
LIFE & STYLE EDITOR Laurel Borrowman lifeandstyle@theotherpress.ca
Of Muppets and men: A fist full of frog
Cody Klyne, pg. 12
OPINIONS
Voter void: Politics of the youth vote
Matt Visser, pg. 15 Anyone can get published in The Other Press! Just email your story to the appropriate section editor from the list on the right. Please send your file as an MS Word .doc file. The weekly deadline for submissions to section editors is Thursday by 12:00 a.m. for publication the following Monday. Timesensitive articles (weekend news, sports, and cultural reviews) will be accepted until Saturday at noon and can be submitted to the editor at editor@theotherpress.ca. All submissions will be edited for clarity and style. The Other Press will pay $50.00 to any contributor who writes, and successfully has published, a feature article of at least 1,200 words. Also, The Other Press will pay $50.00 for every five issues a contributor is published in on a per semester basis. The Other Press holds weekly staff meetings at 6:00pm on Mondays in room 1020 at Douglas College’s New Westminster campus. All interested students are welcome!
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SPORTS
NEWS SUBMISSIONS
news@theotherpress.ca
Grey Cup festivities not just for CFL diehards
Eric Wilkins, pg. 18
ARTS SUBMISSIONS arts@theotherpress.ca
LIFE&STYLE
lifeandstyle@theotherpress.ca
HUMOUR
OPINIONS SUBMISSIONS opinions@theotherpress.ca
SPORTS SUBMISSIONS sports@theotherpress.ca
FEATURE ARTICLES
editor@theotherpress.ca
Rookie science reporter has no clue
Liam Britten, pg. 22
LETTITOR
The Other Press: How I learned to stop worrying and love change
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hether you’re an Avid Alvin or a Casual Cassidy, I’d wager to guess that, upon picking up this week’s issue of your Douglas College student newspaper you thought to yourself “something looks... different.” Well dear, observant reader, you’d be right. Every now and then it’s nice to shake things up; if only to remind yourself that you’re alive (finding a pulse can be tricky). I’m not suggesting that we’re going to get into the habit of reinventing the wheel each and every issue—I’m not entirely crazy… yet— it’s just been a while since we slapped a fresh coat of paint on things around here. Carpe diem, strike while the iron is hot, get while the getting’s good… that sort of thing. While changing things for the sake of changing things is fun, and keeps your friends, classmates, and co-workers on edge, I personally think that it’s important to recognize when it’s time to change. So, like the pros we are, we’ve tightened some screws, washed our hair, and brushed our metaphorical teeth to, as usual, bring you only the tops in news, arts, life & style, opinions, sports, and more. If nothing else it’s my hope that, with the addition of that “and more” bit at the end, I’ve at least managed to raise a brow. Don’t strain yourself though. I refuse to be held responsible for any strained brows. For starters, we hope you’ll notice that, from cover to comics, the freshly revamped look and feel of The Other
Press is well, fresh. Speaking of fresh, let’s take a look at one of the biggest additions in this week’s issue... a new section! It’s an old favourite—okay, you caught me, I was lying when I just said it was new—and is something I doubt many would argue against us needing more of in our lives, especially as stressed out, tantrum-prone students: humour. I recently had the chance to ask our new section editor, Liam Britten, for a quote for this very lettitor. His reply contained an image too inappropriate and wild for publication along with the following: “I am thrilled to be at the helm of the Humour section. I feel Humour is one of, if not the most important sections in the paper, so all the other section editors can shove it. I’m dedicated to news. Hard news. I will look under every stone, at the bottom of every beer glass, and in every strip club back room to find the truth. I don’t believe in journalistic bias, because bias is just another word for racism. And racism is bad; even a Swedish person knows that. So read Humour. It’s got the good stuff.” Wow, what enthusiasm! Thanks Liam. To close things off I’d just like to say that if you’ve ever been even remotely interested in getting involved here at The Other Press, there’s no better time than right now. There’s
plenty of ways to contribute; from writing articles, taking photographs, or doing illustrations, to simply providing feedback to help us improve the paper. I’m on my email far too much as it is, so help me fuel my addiction by contacting me directly at editor@ theotherpress.ca with your questions,
rants, or comments about something you’re read in the paper. Later days, Cody Klyne Editor in chief The Other Press
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News.
La Nina set to make an appearance Cold winter on the way
Urban sustainability
Vancouver Convention Centre’s ‘living roof’ is the greenest in the city By Maria Asselin-Roy, News Editor
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Photo by Tommy Chen By Eric Wilkins, Staff Writer
T
he Lower Mainland had its first snowfall of the year last week, and if meteorologists are to be believed, there are plenty more on the way. The reasoning behind the meteorologists’ prediction: this is a La Nina year. La Nina is a naturally occurring phenomenon that takes place in the subsurface waters of the eastern tropical Pacific Ocean. Under normal conditions, trade winds push warm water westward, and the result is an upwell of cold water along the South American coast. However, due to unknown causes, every three to five years (though sometimes as separated as two to 10 years) the prevailing trade winds are stronger than normal and carry on for longer. The effect of this extended wind is an increase in the cold water build-up along the South American coast. The temperature of the water can drop as much as three to four degrees. These changes, in turn, alter the jet stream, which proceeds to create anomalies in the regular location and intensity of storm paths. The outcome of all this is a much harsher winter for Canada. What does this mean for us Vancouverites? It will be a very
cold winter. Conservative estimates for the temperature drop are one to two degrees below the normal winter temperature, but it may go as low as four degrees. In the ‘90s, Ontario experienced a severe seven degree drop from their normal temperature, but BC will hopefully avoid this extreme. It is expected that there will be generous amounts of snow to accompany the frigid weather this year. In case of extreme snowfall, students should check Douglas College’s website (www.douglas. bc.ca), Twitter (twitter.com/ douglascollege), Facebook (www. facebook.com/douglascollege), or phone in to the information line (1-877-679-0823). In the event of a closure, there will be a broadcast on CBC 690AM, CKWX 1130AM, and CKNW 980AM.
PREPARE Ensure that appropriate winter clothing is handy, and if you are a driver, make the worthwhile purchase of winter tires to safeguard your safety. For the sake of comfort, it is also a good idea to insulate your household, or at least seal any noticeable cracks or openings.
he roof of the Vancouver Convention Centre at Waterfront is not like any other man-made steel, wood, or cement roof in the city. It is completely unique in the sense that the entire 2.4-hectare roof is a thriving micro ecosystem. This “green roof” began three years ago, and it is still the largest green roof in Canada today. Although some claim the roof looks more like an overgrown brown jungle, it is actually thriving with life and is helping to sustain the environment whilst living in an urban economy. The roof is trimmed once a year and, due to the immense
Vancouver’s most sustainable roof. Many of the environmental problems today (global warming, air pollution, etc) can be traced back to large cities and the lifestyle choices people make. According to Sustainable Cities International, urban population levels are at an all time high and with that, urban environmental management is becoming progressively important. Since urban areas require assistance from other ecosystems to thrive, the destruction of natural ecosystems is what made the urban population come to be. Although it’s virtually impossible to stop the use of other ecosystems to contribute to our own—we can make a difference in our carbon footprint by using
“Although some claim the roof looks more like an overgrown brown jungle, it is actually thriving with life and is helping to sustain the environment whilst living in an urban economy.” size, the trim takes about a week to complete. Maintenance crews look for invasive species to ensure the naturally occurring plants and animals are not disturbed. Currently, there are 25 different plant species that have flourished on the roof, which is far more than was originally thought. The roof is also home to several birds and insects, four active beehives, and some field mice. Some of the plants, such as the aster, have grown to be over eight feet tall. The aster, for example, has been an excellent source of food for the beehives. This year, the four beehives produced over 120 pounds of honey. The honey is then used in the kitchen of the Convention Centre, and the remaining honey is then jarred and sold for promotional use of
the example of the Vancouver Convention Centre. Rooftop or home gardens that allow natural plants to grow will immensely help the air and naturally occurring species. Even supporting local farmers by buying local crops, milk products, and meat exceptionally contribute to living sustainably. There is plenty of information on this topic to be found online. Some example are www.sacgardens.org and www.greenr.ca.
TESL program offered at David Lam campus next semester By Maria Asselin-Roy, News Editor
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n the winter of 2012, Douglas College will be again offering the popular TESL program at the David Lam campus in Coquitlam. TESL stands for Teaching English as a Second Language, and the program prepares students for careers in tutoring, teaching, and leadership both abroad and in the Lower Mainland (where there are employment opportunities due to adult immigrants from foreign countries in need of English assistance). The TESL program 4
prepares graduates to teaching English overseas, to participate in international volunteer projects, to tutor conversation lessons to both individuals and small groups in Canada, to tutor new immigrants
addition to the program courses, TESL students also take a 30-hour practicum; students spend 10 hours tutoring Douglas College students and 20 hours teaching in ESL classrooms at various language
“…the program prepares students for careers in tutoring, teaching, and leadership both abroad and in the Lower Mainland…” in community centres and nonprofit organizations, and to teach in private language schools and organizations. The TESL program is intensive—15 credits are completed in one 13.5-week semester. In
schools and programs around the Lower Mainland. The program is recognized by TESL Canada, which allows Douglas College TESL graduates to obtain professional certification once they have completed a
bachelor’s degree (which can be obtained either before or after the TESL program). Space in the program—which is not offered every semester—is limited. Information sessions for the TESL program will be held on December 1 at the New West Campus in room 2201 at 5 p.m. and on December 6 in the small cafeteria at the David Lam campus at 5 p.m. For more information, Julia Robinson (program coordinator) at TESLinfo@douglascollege.ca
News
www.theotherpress.ca
To kill or not to kill:
Assisted suicide case continues in BC courts By Allie Davison, Staff Writer
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controversial case of physician-assisted suicide, (known as “euthanasia”), has been fast-tracked in BC courts due to the seriousness of one a plaintiff’s disease; the plaintiff, Gloria Taylor, LSis one of five making a plea to the BC Supreme Court to allow their doctors’ assistance in ending either their own lives, or the lives of terminally ill patients. Currently, the Canada’s Criminal Code includes laws that state that anyone who counsels, aids, or abets a person to commit suicide can face up to 14 years in prison. H, person’s The plaintiffs and their
choose their own fate. The opposition, supported by the Euthanasia Prevention Coalition, is arguing that wrongful death would be a too prominent result of the changing of the law. There is also a concern that the law could be used negatively against elderly and disabled people. Over the next two weeks, testimonies will be heard by people with experience working in jurisdictions where physicianassisted suicide is already legal. There are 71 witnesses to support the plaintiffs. Taylor is an ALS (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis) patient from West Kelowna. ALS, more commonly known as Lou Gehrig’s disease,
“Currently, Canada’s Criminal Code includes laws that state that anyone who counsels, aids, or abets a person to commit suicide can face up to 14 years in prison. The plaintiffs and their counsel are arguing that these laws are unconstitutional, and that individuals should have the right to choose their own fate. “ counsel are arguing that these laws are unconstitutional, and that individuals should have the right to
rapidly attacks and destroys the nerve cells that control a person’s voluntary muscles. Eventually,
ALS patients’ muscles are so deteriorated they are not able to move at all—though the disease does not affect the person’s mind. The life expectancy, once diagnosed with ALS, is usually three to five years. The court case was originally prompted by the family of Kay Carter. Carter, then 89, suffered from chronic pain and was unable to walk. Her family paid $30,000 to fly her to Switzerland (where
euthanasia is legal) where she was permitted to die legally (through a dose of sodium phenobarbital). The last appeal to the courts regarding assisted suicide occurred in 1993, when another ALS patient requested that her doctors be allowed to assist her in ending her life. Although the case was overruled, she did eventually find another anonymous doctor to carry out her request.
the Evergreen Line extension into Coquitlam has been halted over the years due to an increase in project costs. The estimated capital costs for the newly-approved 10.9 kilometre SkyTrain rapid transit line is estimated at $1.4 billion, and will be paid for in part by a two-cent-per-litre increase in the Metro Vancouver fuel tax to be implemented in the spring of 2012. Alternate funding sources have yet to be determined; however, it was announced that $400 million will be provided by TransLink, $583 million from the provincial government, and $417 million will be contributed by the federal government. The new line will connect directly with the Millennium Line, and will boast five new stations upon its opening. Extending from Lougheed Town Centre in Burnaby to Douglas Collage in Coquitlam, the five stations will be:
Coquitlam Central Station - at the Coquitlam transit exchange
Latest on the Evergreen Line
By Maria Asselin-Roy, News Editor
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n October 27, BC’s Transportation Minister announced that construction for TransLink’s new Evergreen Line Rapid Transit project will begin in the summer of 2012 after the winning bid for construction is selected. Now, the Ministry has released a shortlist of three companies vying to be selected to complete the project. EL Partners, Kiewit/Flatiron Evergreen Line, and SNC-Lavalin Inc. will have until April of 2012 to prepare detailed proposals for the
Ministry—once selected, the chosen team is expected to begin work on the Evergreen Line in the summer of 2012 with a project completion goal of 2016. Ensuring effective traffic management during the proposed four-year build time is a priority, and a plan will soon be developed to maximize flow during construction. With services planed to begin in the summer of 2016, the Evergreen line is expected to accommodate 70,000 passengers per day by 2021. Originally intended to have been a part of the Millennium Line, which was completed in 2002,
Burquitlam Station - near Burquitlam Plaza on the east side of Clarke Road Port Moody Station - at the Port Moody transit exchange Ioco Station - on the north side of the CPR tracks, North of Barnet Highway
Douglas College Station - north of Guilford Way on the East side of Pinetree Way The Evergreen Line will provide a travel time of 15 minutes from Lougheed Town Centre to Coquitlam City Centre with services running every three minutes during peak hours. Environmental concerns for the project were to be addressed by an Environmental Assessment Review under the British Columbia Environmental Assessment Act (BCEAA). The Environmental Assessment Certificate was issued in February of 2011. For more information about the Environmental Assessment process, including a copy of the complete application and comments received during the public comment period, visit www.eao.gov.bc.ca. To find out more about the Evergreen Line, you can visit the Evergreen Line Project Office located at the corner of Barnet Highway and Mariner Way, open Monday through Friday, 8:30 a.m. –5:00 p.m., or call 604-927-4452.
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Arts. Pipe hype
Recounting Douglas’ Scottish music tournament and what’s to come Will Nichols
Photo by Ken MacKenzie
By Kyle Wallis
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f you wandered around the New Westminster campus at some point on November 12, you may have seen or heard something suspiciously Scottish in nature. That’s because a number of Scottish music competitions were taking place at Douglas that day. This particular event was the B.C. Pipers’ Association Mini Gathering and Knockout Contests, and they will be held again in February. The day started with a set of amateur bagpiping and drumming contests called the “Mini Gatherings”; these were held throughout the campus. They are primarily for younger bagpipers and drummers to hone their skills during the winter competition season. Players of various skill levels compete against each other for the grand prize, the Mini Gathering Grand Aggregate. The Grand Aggregate is won by the competitors from each level of competition (of which there are five) who accumulate the greatest number of prizes over the November and February contests. The professional competition portion of the day, the “Knockouts,” started at 6 p.m., in the cafeteria. A total of 11 bagpipers competed, with six moving onto the next round in February. Of the 11, two were invited amateurs who achieved a top-five placing in the previous competition season’s Grand Aggregate standings (cumulative from all the competitions taking place from April to August). These two invited amateurs, Scott Wood and Joe Stewart, both proceeded to the semi-final, knocking out two professionals—an excellent achievement for both players. The other nine competitors were all from SFU’s highly accomplished 6
grade one pipe band. Although only bagpipers were featured in this Knockout, snare-drummers will be playing at the next one, adding another dimension to the professional competition. All bagpipers and drummers competing in the Knockouts hope to make it through to the final round in March. This contest is held at the Annual Dinner, a somewhat swanky occasion to celebrate the end of the winter contest season. It is held at the Scottish Cultural Centre in Vancouver. Having been a snare-drummer in Scottish pipe bands for about 10 years now, it’s very exciting for me to have a collision like this involving my college and the band scene. If you are reading this and have something of an idea about what I’m talking about, I congratulate you. You are probably a member of the almost one per cent of people I have met at this institution that knows what a bagpipe band is. If the past 400 words have flown right over your head like a haggis at a highland game, I would encourage you to check out the next Mini Gathering and Knockout day in February. The date is February 11, 2012 at the New Westminster campus. The Mini Gatherings will be held throughout the campus in the afternoon, and the Knockouts will be held in the cafeteria during the evening. All over the world, bagpipes haven’t made the greatest name for themselves. It is very difficult to play them well, but I assure that when they are, you will be hard pressed to find a more powerful sounding instrument. These contests are a great way to experience Scotland’s national instrument the way it is meant to sound. If you attend, you will surely not regret it.
Silver bells, silver screens
Need some holiday cheer? Head on out to the movie theatre! By Angela Espinoza, Arts Editor ‘Tis the season, so I suppose I should write something about said season. I can’t offer much of a holiday gift guide, as the only thing on my somewhat narcissistic “If you love someone…” list right now is Skyrim. But really, the holidays are about spending time together, either at home, on a trip, or at the movies. With that, I present to you the greatest gift of all: the 2011 Christmas movie guide! A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas (November 4) We reviewed the film in last week’s issue of The Other Press, so I’ll just offer a quick opinion. It appears we’ve kicked off the Christmas movie season with something not-so-traditional. Booze, weed, sex, and of course Neil Patrick Harris may not offer the most conventional holiday movie experience, but even Harold (John Cho) and Kumar (Kal Penn) deserve to have a merry, albeit different, Christmas. Best viewed with: Roommate Happy Feet Two (November 18) When I saw the first Happy Feet (2006), I wasn’t sure what all the hype was about. I’m glad everyone got excited about environmentalism (and penguins), but like 2004’s Crash (yes, this is relevant), I’m just not moved when someone throws an obvious issue in my face. But it appears the “subtle message” has changed this time around, as has the goal of our new protagonist, Erik (Ava Acres), Mumble’s (Elijah Wood) son. Erik is reluctant to
dance, opting instead to learn how to fly; meanwhile, “powerful forces” have thrown Mumble’s world into disarray, requiring him to achieve his greatest feat yet. Best viewed with: Romantic partner, family Arthur Christmas (November 23) Arthur Christmas (James McAvoy) is your average goodhearted klutz, except for one minor detail: he’s one of Santa Claus’ (Jim Broadbent) two sons. With another Christmas upon them, Arthur finds that one child on Santa’s list has been forgotten. Now he’s literally going to the ends of the earth to deliver one little girl her present before Christmas morning. Cheesy but heartfelt, it appears we’ve found the perfect Christmas movie for 2011… that is, unless our last pick isn’t as epic as it’s been hyped up to be. Best viewed with: Family, friends who understand your fixation with kid’s movies Hugo (November 23) Directed by Martin Scorsese and based on the Brian Selznick novel-of-sorts The Invention of Hugo Cabaret (2007), this starstudded holiday flick follows the young orphan Hugo Cabaret (Asa Butterfield). Hugo’s resided in a Paris train station all his questionably long life, but when he is tossed into the ultimate adventure, his secrets threaten to be revealed. Part whimsical journey and part love letter to film, Hugo is anticipated to be one of the year’s best movies. Best viewed with: Anyone!
Arts
www.theotherpress.ca
By Dylan Hackett, Staff Writer
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ast month, the Museum of Vancouver (MOV), located in Kitsilano’s Vanier Park, opened up an exhibit exploring the history of neon signage in our city: Neon Vancouver, Ugly Vancouver. Neon, and the other noble gases electrified for bright buzzing lighting, were first brought to
You light up my life
The Museum of Vancouver presents Vancouver’s neon history Vancouver in 1928 by entrepreneur George Sweeney. From then on, neon signs were leased out through his company, Neon Products Ltd. (now owned by Vancouver-based billionaire Jim Pattison). Vancouver buildings were lit up with neon signs at every street corner; first downtown, then southbound into suburban Vancouver, where the bright eye pollution of the signs met their slow, city council-backed demise. The signs on display at MOV showed the variety of businesses leasing the signs to draw in customers. Rexall Drugs had their mascot “Hootie the Owl” glowing magnificent green and blue exclaiming, “We Deliver,” with their
signage. Diners were often marked with neon signing, as were auto repair shops. The automobile neon sign in the gallery depicted two argon blue cars crashing head on with an explosion overhead lighting up after the vehicles. Photos of the city in the 1950s showed a bright advertisement-haven of beautiful light pollution. The signs were quite ethereal. The thought behind buzzing, glowing neon lights advertising a business was that the brightness would capture the consumer’s quick-purchase impulse. Perhaps the most absurd of the signs on display was that of S. Bowell & Sons Ltd. Funeral Directors. The yellow and greens tackling my vision hardly evoked the spirit of casting a pall over a loved one’s coffin. Nevertheless, I’m sure the sign attracted good business. In the late ‘50s, a group called the Community Arts Council (still active) set out to campaign against neon signage, citing it to be “visual pollution” and for it to only be quarantined to the theatre district of Downtown Granville. This equated
signing bylaws to civility, citing that many European cities had stringent signing laws to preserve the integrity of their neighbourhoods. They spread this message with pamphlets headed with the tactful phrase “You Can Have Civilization or You Can Have Neon.” Over the decade, this sentiment built momentum, with a 1968 Vancouver Sun headline reading, “Let’s Wake Up from Our Neon Nightmare”. “We’re being led by the nose into a hideous jungle of signs. They’re outsized, outlandish, and outrageous,” alliterated the Sun article. By 1974, Vancouver City Council passed a bylaw stripping neon from Vancouver with a few licensed exceptions in the Granville strip and Gastown district. The city then published a manual explaining the law to citizens and justifying the law and the exceptionality of certain areas from the regulations. Downtown signs were said to reflect “the variety and utility that is downtown.” The display summed up the social history once ratified in the city’s abundant neon skyscape. “Perhaps neon represents an authentic moment in Vancouver’s history, when we did not need to concoct a ‘fun city.’ Perhaps neon links us to Vancouver’s gritty past; when loggers rolled into town for wild weekends and music sounded in ‘Hogan’s Alley’”(Vancouver’s former Afro-Canadian neighbourhood, gutted for the sake of the Georgia Viaduct). Neon Vancouver, Ugly Vancouver is open until August 12, 2012, and a curator’s talk and tour is set for December 1. What: Neon Vancouver, Ugly Vancouver Where: Museum of Vancouver (1100 Chestnut Street) When: Now until August 12, 2012 Cost: $10 with Student ID
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Arts
Have a story idea? E-mail us at arts@otherpress.ca
Two’s company, three’s a battle for the psychosis Is Cronenberg’s latest as effective as its subjects’ methods? By Angela Espinoza, Arts Editor
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s I’m beginning to write this piece, it’s occurred to me that I’ve seen most of David Cronenberg’s films. His work reaches such extreme feats in just about everything taboo that it’s been a huge catalyst in my being able to (albeit just barely) understand symbols in film. Although I’m more familiar with his low-budget horrors than his Oscar-winners, his reputation in both cases has been well earned. With that comes A Dangerous Method, Cronenberg’s latest film, and yes, it is taboo as all hell—but it’s also quite refined. The film opens as Sabrina Spielrein (Keira Knightley), a beautiful Russian Jewish woman, is dragged kicking and screaming to the office of psychiatrist Carl Jung (Michael Fassbender). Jung takes in Spielrein as his patient whom, despite great intelligence, is mentally unstable and frequently struggles to speak. Through Sigmund Freud’s (Viggo Mortensen) psychosexual methodology, Jung is able to cure
Spielrein—through psycho and sexual means, of course. Over the course of several years, Jung’s relationship with Spielrein and, for a time being, Freud grows to be more intense. As these two
established minds attempt to cooperate with each other, Spielrein finds herself coming between them. There’s a heavy amount of emotion poured into this film on the actors’ parts. Jung, who is married
to a woman he legitimately cares for, has only truly found himself in the company of Spielrein. Then there’s Freud, who Jung claims to be his father figure; these two clearly have a great deal of respect if not adoration for each other, but that begrudgingly shatters as well (it’s not a spoiler if it’s part of history!). While there’s certainly no body horror going on in this film, Cronenberg’s emphasis on women being a powerful force is still there. There is some blood in this film as well, but it serves a far more important purpose than a totally awesome head explosion with guts and stuff flying everywhere… much more important. Knightley’s performance was jarring at first, as is the result of any extreme delivery, but her character soon develops into a beautiful (albeit certainly different) mind. Although Fassbender and Mortensen’s arcs are more subtle in presentation, it’s evident that the two men we start out with have clearly gone through a great deal of change. A Dangerous Method will be in limited release starting November 23.
Notable notation
The first of Douglas’ Student Showcase series is A Major success By Angela Espinoza, Arts Editor
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s we enter the final weeks of the fall semester, many of Douglas’ arts events are wrapping up. Such includes the Arts at One series, which offers a number of musical presentations and performances throughout the year. Artists ranging from outside performers to school faculty have provided us with some of the finest entertainment in New Westminster. Now, after an ample amount of
classical pieces. First was Stefani Yap, particularly of note due to her being the only female performer in the Showcase. Yap opened the show with the chipper Chopin piece, “Waltz in E-flat Major, Op. 18, No. 1.” Yap was followed by Christian Bideau, who covered Maurice Ravel’s eerie second movement, “Oiseaux tristes (“Sad Birds”),” from the five-movement piece “Miroirs.” Raphael Zhao then came on to perform two pieces, the first
“…after an ample amount of hard work from those in Douglas’ various music programs, it’s the students’ time to shine” hard work from those in Douglas’ various music programs, it’s the students’ time to shine. The Arts at One performances that took place last Thursday were the first of the Student Showcase series. The Student Showcase takes select students who have exhibited both understanding and strength in their craft, and places them on the stage to perform on their respected instrument. This week’s focus was on those who have shown mastery in piano, performing various 8
being a section of Tchaikovsky’s “The Seasons Op. 37, No. 1,” known as “October” (“The Seasons” is a 12-piece set that covers each month of the year). The next piece was another of Chopin’s, “Étude in c-sharp minor, Op. 10, No. 4,” presenting a challenge due to it’s dizzyingly fast tempo. Williams Budhiharto then performed the sixth movement from Franz Liszt’s difficult yet beautiful adaptation of “Grandes études de Paganini in a minor.” Closing off the show was
Konstantin Klimov, who was also given the opportunity to perform two pieces, the first being a cover of the first movement in Schubert’s “Sonata in A Major, Op. 120.” After a quick correction in the lineup, the final piece performed that afternoon was Alexander Scriabin’s “Étude in d-sharp minor, Op. 8, No. 12.” The entire event ended with a brief awards ceremony presented by Joy Ollen, Coordinator of the Douglas College Music Department, and Christina Hicks, the Assistant Manager of Education for B.C., Long & McQuade. Long
& McQuade Musical Instruments provided four gift cards worth $250 each to four well-deserving students taking music programs at Douglas. The gift cards were presented to those who had shown “dedication, discipline, and a passion for learning… [decided upon by] the music faculty,” as stated by Ollen. The recipients were Dasha Chalubeyeva, Christian Bideau, Andy Stevens, and Tim Zacharias. Congratulations to all of the award recipients and performers of last week’s Student Showcase!
Life&Style.
Another article about moustaches in November By Laurel Borrowman, Life & Style Editor
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ovember: it’s a good month to be single. I don’t even need a fully-fingered hand to count how many exceptions I can
time, commitment, diligence, and careful grooming. My other qualm is the guys out there who use this opportunity to grow the most obnoxious moustache possible. I’m all about freedom of facial hair, so power to
“I’m all about freedom of facial hair, so power to you boys. I just feel that when I’d like to punch a fellow in the face before he’s even spoken, Movember might be giving moustaches a bit of a bad rep.” make to my Movember feelings. To everyone else, I appreciate your commitment to raising money (if you are) and/or awareness for prostate cancer, but the moustache you’ve been growing this month is pretty gross. Charity aside, Movember is pretty gross. I’m not even a moustache hater in general. On the right face, the man and the ‘stache form a synergistic, symbiotic relationship, enhancing a dude’s entire persona. It just seems to me that in the time allotted for Movember, one can only grow a moustache to a certain calibre. True moustache glory takes
you boys. I just feel that when I’d like to punch a fellow in the face before he’s even spoken, Movember might be giving moustaches a bit of a bad rep. So as we near the end of the month, and as the facial hair is nearing critical mass for many, I’d like to remedy the problem with a reminder of some true works of art in the upper lip department. Moustaches that don’t just happen overnight. Moustaches that require precision, attention, and care on a regular basis. Moustaches that rule. I give you three.
The Fancy
Ah, such a classic. Plus, to keep it in perfect form, you’ll need to keep a little pot of moustache wax on hand; how much more intelligent can you look than when smoothing out those twirly ends between your thumb and forefinger? Not much. Proof, just check out Daniel Day Lewis. His moustache even has its own Facebook page. 637 Likes? Nice. The Bars
Not to be mistaken for The Handlebar (*cringe), I like to think of The Bars as the daytime version of The Fancy. It needs a little less upkeep during the day, so once you’ve grown the proper foundation, you can pretty much
just set it and forget it and look like one dapper dude. A celebrity comparison is difficult, but if you think Tom Selleck circa Magnum, P.I. (Google it, you youngsters!) and tailor it just a tad, you’re on the right track. Golden. The Dali
Maybe it’s a bit cliché of me to throw this in, but come on. It’s effing Dali. Not only is his legacy transcending generations via crazy surrealistic art, but his moustache has materialized the image of his face in our brains forever. The Dali is the epitome of bat-shit crazy, and anyone who can pull this off deserves a massive pat on the back for having guts, commitment, and probably also some gravity-defying powers.
Christmas crafting
Handmade U-Pass holders pass the gift-giving test! Because I’m extremely lazy, I’m using glue (super, though I imagine a hot glue gun would suffice just as well), Velcro (the stick on kind from the dollar store—I said I was lazy, right?), and a needle and thread.
By Sharon Miki, Assistant Editor
Ubiquitous U-Pass Holder.
don’t care what you Grinches say—there’s no better way to show people you care than with a nifty holiday gifty. Because most college students are perpetually strapped for cash (maybe not Dakota Fanning or the actress from Harry Potter, but a lot of us), I thought I’d come up with some nice, inexpensive, and useful handmade gift ideas. At the same time, since I’m constantly nearlylosing my U-Pass in the depths of my pockets/my bag, I could really use a snazzy U-Pass case for easy finding and to up my coolness factor. Eureka! I give you the
What you’ll need: No matter how you dress it up, you’ll need a base to make these babies durable. I used the little plastic sleeves that used to come with my 1-Zone bus passes. If you don’t have any leftover, I bet you could con one from a clerk at the 7-Eleven. Once you have a base, you need some supplies to dress it up. I used scrap fabrics and felt (it’s a pretty tiny size, after all), but you could also cut up an old T-shirt or something. Finally, you need a way to attach things to other things.
I
How-to: First, prep your base fabric by tracing the shape of the plastic sleeve and cutting out two pieces of fabric that are just a little bit wider; make one piece about a centimetre longer (it will serve as a flap). Next, slather the sleeve with your glue of choice and then carefully cover with your fabulous fabric squares. For added charm,
consider hand sewing the edges (except the edge where the flap is— you have to be able to get your pass in and out) for a nice finish. Finally, affix a piece of Velcro to the flap and to the base, so that when the flap is folded over the Velcro will connect. Once you’ve prepared a rad case, glitz it up to the degree that you think your friend, lover, or family member will appreciate. The last step? Wrap that sucker in a scintillating new copy of The Other Press, tie it all together with a bow, and prepare to be adored for your kind-hearted generosity and extreme artistic ability.
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Life&Style
A beginners guide to online shopping
Got style? Contact us at lifeandstyle@theotherpress.ca
Winter beer is here By Dylan Hackett, Staff Writer
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like beer. I love winter beers. After sharing the tastes of the finest winter beers on the shelves a few short weeks ago, I thought it would be right to inform the Douglas population of the latest wave of seasonal beers available for holiday imbibery and gifting. Ales with thoughtful labels filled my fridge this week and I hope you enjoy their names as much as I did the flavours! Nelson Brewing Company FACEPLANT Winter Ale is an organic can of liquid craftwork from the true winter town of Nelson, BC. The Kootenay brewery’s exclusive use of mostly local organic malted barley, flaked barley, golden sugar, hops, and molasses earn it points with the Greenpeace crowd, while the black lock-in can-ringer— designed to prevent dolphins from
Frog allows you to excite. This ale has citrus, is ever-so-slightly plum-like and a tad nutty with a roof-of-themouth aftertaste of banana. That’s not to say the Beeracle isn’t bitter. Its initial bite is much like that of Dead Frog’s Lager. Beeracle’s malty flavour comes in strong at the end of the bottle, so pour the rest into you’re a sleeve midway through to capture a swig of this flavour. The carbonation is moderate, but the bubbles are very small and tickly. As a bonus, Beeracle’s label includes a beautiful Christmas poem, “The Story of the Christmas Beeracle”, which might be lost to the those in party-mode (the ideal situation for Dead Frog’s variety mixer packs). I recommend this to
“…winter ale serves the purpose of belly warming when whiskey and the fireplace are too far away.” By Allie Davison, Staff Writer
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s much as I like heading out to the mall, browsing through the racks of pretty clothes, and then heading home, excited to wear my new purchases, sometimes I’d much rather not leave my house. And thanks to that new, up-and-coming invention, the Internet, I don’t have to! I love being able to window shop online without that noisy sales person wondering if I’m actually going to buy anything. Sometimes, it’s nice to just look. Here are the top five places I love to browse and buy clothes online. Threadless (www.threadless. com) specializes in super awesome shirts for women, men, children, and babies. They have classic T-shirts and hoodies, as well a few different styles of tops for ladies. Threadless’ designs are all developed by members of the public. Anyone can submit a design and, if chosen, get their art worn by a countless number of people. Their prices range from $20 (T-shirts) to $36 (hoodies); however, they have frequent sales that bring the prices down to $10 per tee. Their shipping to Canada is reasonably priced (about $9 for every three shirts)— with only $6 shipping on orders over $75. My favourite Threadless product: The new Muppets shirts! There are nine to choose from, with each style featuring one or more of everyone’s favourite Muppets! Huzzah!
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ShoeDazzle (www.shoedazzle. com) is my favourite site for online shoe shopping. I can get sexy heels, fashionable flats, or warm and fuzzy boots all for only $39.99! Here’s the deal: after signing up for ShoeDazzle and doing a quick shoe-taste survey, you are given a showroom of shoes to pick from. Everything on the site is $39.99 and shipping is only $9. It’s pretty excellent, in my opinion. The site also offers high-end purses and jewellery for the same price. New for the holidays is the ShoeDazzle holiday shop, where they’ve got some great gifts in the beauty, home, apparel, accessories, and travel departments. ModCloth (www.modcloth. com) has practically every clothing item for ladies imaginable. They have jackets, dresses, skirts, shirts, pants, undergarments, and other fashion accessories—ranging from completely adorable to sultry and sexy. They offer a huge variety of styles and prices to choose from, and I especially like the uniqueness of their stuff. I love browsing through their dresses (they have over 2000) and wishing I could have them all. And if that’s not enough, another cool thing about ModCloth is their ‘Be the Buyer’ program, which allows shoppers to vote on potential products. The items with the most votes get featured on the website. It’s super cool seeing something you’ve selected available online.
getting tangled—earns bonus points with the cetacean population. This saves the environmentally conscious consumer from having to take time from socializing to rip apart the binding plastic from their typical six-pack at an upcoming ugly Christmas sweater party! This dark-brown ale tastes of sugary molasses and has a slight fruity undertone. The bitterness comes almost as an afterthought as you face plant into its candy sweetness. Nelson’s offering is the most accessible of this bunch; it leaves your lips slightly sticky and isn’t as thick as you’d imagine a molasses and golden sugar-enhanced beer to be. The carbonation is quite light. FACEPLANT can be purchased at almost every BC Signature Liquor Store in town for $11.75 per six pack. Be sure to savour this 6.0% beauty in a succession of sips slow as molasses. Dead Frog Brewery’s Christmas Beeracle comes in a charming 650mL bottle and is brewed in not-so-charming Aldergrove (I jest). This guy comes with a “Happy Holidays” gift tag on the label; the perfect stocking-stuffer for a thirsty college student. The Christmas Beeracle (brewmaster wit at its best) is a beer that might sting you with a bad malt to hop ratio (at least for craft beer fans who drink in a realm where hops reign), but after the third sip you’re bound to dissect the full flavour pallet that Dead
any standard beer drinker looking to try something slightly different this holiday season Howe Sound’s Father John Winter Ale is a roundhouse kick to the taste buds straight from Squamish. This 7% 1L monster tastes like plum, vanilla, and pepper, finished with a malt liquor zest. This winter ale serves the purpose of belly warming when whiskey and the fireplace are too far away. I may sound like a shameless press release, but the words ring true from top of the first glass to bottom of the third. This massive container could intoxicate a village, and is a true winter warmer that captures the flavour of the holidays better than any other seasonal offering I’ve tasted. The beer’s label depicts a jolly St. Nick, corncob pipe and beer gut intact. This beer smells like brandy and also shares the colour of a finely aged cognac. When confronted with the lofty goal of finishing a bottle of Father John’s, one must welcome a slight buzz. Prepare your fridge for an enjoyable Christmas Eve treat this year with Father John’s as an accessory to the festivities. The variety of the flavour will give the drinker mistletoe-friendly breath. Winter Ale is currently in limited availability, but will make its full run to the shelves for December. I hope these vivid descriptions prompt you, dear reader, to buy at least one of these fine brews to enhance your winter cheer.
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Stuck in Purge-atory
Life&Style
The delete key
By Laurel Borrowman, Life & Style Editor I have way too much stuff. You probably do too. Stuck in Purge-atory is a weekly chronicle of the quest by my roommate Emily and I to get rid of extraneous excess in our lives by giving away or throwing out one thing everyday until the end of time. I love computers. I love phones. I LOVE the Internet. I love, love, love technology. I’m not even a huge techno-nerd. I bought my laptop over three years ago, and am pleased it’s still in pretty shipshape. I don’t have a Smart Phone (actually, it was just over a year ago that unplugged from a long stint with a landline and rejoined the wireless world). I do spend a lot of time online, but I swear I’m not addicted (first sign: denial). The point is, I don’t think our world is being ruined because of technological advancement, or that communication is breaking down because of the rise of the Facebook empire. It’s changing, and I’m cool with that. Technological advancements have made us, in many ways, a hell of a lot more efficient. Think about how much space all the research papers you read online take up in paper form. Think about all the movies you’ve pirated on to your computer, and the number of closets you’d need if you had to store those in VHS format. Think of all the music you have in your iTunes library, and how many walls that would cover if you had them on vinyl, cassette, or CD. It’s a lot of clutter, but now that it’s all been transformed into a bunch of ones and zeros, and resides only on chips and sticks in the magical wonderful world of the digital, we don’t notice it so much. Just because it doesn’t take up a lot of space physically, doesn’t mean it won’t bog you down mentally. Which leads me to the main topic of discussion in Purge-atory this week: the delete key. My roommate Emily and I love music. She actually is a musician (a violinist, and a damn good one). Aside from playing the saxophone in grade four, and knowing one song on my Casio keyboard (“Never Tear Us Apart” by INXS, obviously, but that’s another story), I can’t say the same for myself. I
usually rock the hand-claps, the airpunches, and the slap-chops. I am a solid appreciator of music. And so is Em. And our apartment shows it. So, when I woke up in a postSaturday night haze—M83 and a rad triple-bill at Anza (Shot Royalties: check them!)—scrolling through the 8000+ songs in my library, searching for the perfect tunes to segue into a lazy Sunday, and continually getting distracted by musical garbage, I knew something had to change. Specific details of the iTunes cleanse are below, but I will say now that I went from about 8000 songs to 7400 songs. I admit that the simple drag-and-drop from iTunes into the trash was anticlimactic; it would have been far more dramatic to Frisbee each jewel-cased CD (600 songs is about 40 albums) off of the back deck, letting them smash into a shiny, mirrored mess in the back alley. In the same vein, Emily also did her share to cleanse the digital realm by spending some quality time purging old phone numbers. To be more specific, boys that she has a number for, but has no desire to talk to or hang out with anymore; not necessarily full-on boyfriends, just boys that needn’t occupy that coveted space in her phone. We also did the usual: clothes out, lateral moves, nothing, and a few other tidbits. And with that, I give you week two. Friday Me: Purge-atory double fail. Nothing purged, and one coat richer. See Emily. Emily: Out: Long grey, highcollared, button-down awesome coat (given to me). In: Long black, high-collared, button-down awesome coat. Lateral purge from her extremely fashionable aunt, who needed to make room for her own new long, high-collared, button-down awesome coat. There’s karmic balance somewhere in Purge-atory. Celebrate victories by taking coats out dancing to Soul Club. Great date. Saturday Me: Purge-atory fail, unless purging $20 on a concert ticket counts. Emily: Accidental Purge. Black sunglasses lost at house party (sunglasses at night are not always
a good plan, regardless of what Corey Hart said). Sunday Me: iTunes library. 600+ songs (counts for one item for summary’s sake though). Equivalent to about 40 albums. Was so carried away and impulsive that I didn’t even take time to write names down. Swift like Band-Aid removal. Ranged from U2’s How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb to some album by Neutral Milk Hotel to Felix Da Housecat’s Virgo Blacktro and the Movie Disco. Am indeed embarrassed for having these in my library in the first place. Deleted. Emily: We’re both exhausted from combing my 30 days of music. She gets a by this round. Monday Me: At the OP production meeting, Opinions Editor Jacey pitches a crazy scheme to cover the holey wall of the office with record covers from the days of zany. I support it, because it means I have another reason to purge a bunch of shitty records. My contribution to the wall: Fauré’s Requiem (we have three Requiems and in Emily’s words, “Verdi is the only one you need.”), Folkways Science Series Sounds of the Sea, Sphere Clown Band’s I Can Do Anything, the soundtrack to How the West Was Won, and the number two vinyl album found in thrift stores the world over (second only to anything by Nana Mouskouri; seriously) Zamfir, this one by the Harry Van Hoof Orchestra. If you want to see how ridiculous the covers are, come on down to the Other Press production meeting, this Monday at 6 p.m.! Emily: Takes first place, with 17 phone numbers of boys that needn’t be in her phone (counts as three for summary’s sake). Oh, snap. Enough said. Deleted. Tuesday Me: Two ugly tank tops and a denim skirt. Remind self, “Self, getting rid of summer stuff in winter is easy.” Emily: Zip up, earth-green fitted sweatshirt. High neck. Very attached. Sooo played out. Deleted. Wednesday Me: Fail. Emily: Superhero. I roll home after
a solid 17-hour day, and lo and behold, a shower curtain sits by our dumpster, all neatly folded (see photo). She replaced the gross, orange-tinged mess of a curtain with a new one she had bought a few weeks ago, and scoured the bathroom to sparkling perfection, but also our bathroom has New Shower Curtain smell. Lateral move, but still good. Thursday Me: Tank top and shirt. Em’s other aunt brought this shirt back from Germany for her. Em gawked. Swore to get rid of it. I, in a moment of insanity, think she is insane. Take shirt. Four months later, have worn shirt once (for said photo). Came to senses. Deleted. Emily: Hair brush. She doesn’t brush her hair. Deleted. Stay tuned. Who knows what we’ll get rid of next week.
Days in Purge-atory: 14 Collective weekly target: 14 Items collectively purged this week: 17 Items that didn’t actually leave the apartment: 1 Total items purged this week: 16 Total items purged to date: 27 11
Feature
Have an idea for a feature? Contact us at editor@theotherpress.ca
Of Muppets and men: A fist full of frog Exploring humanity through fantasy By Cody Klyne “Another World, Another Time... In the Age of Wonder.” It’s the phrase plastered across the top of The Dark Crystal (1982) poster tacked up on the wall above my desk. It’s creased, tattered, and yellowed from years of service; the age of the paper only amplifying the grotesqueness of the Skeksis—one of the vile bird-like villains of the movie—that the eye can’t help but be drawn to. “A Jim Henson film,” it is as the title suggests—for those who were too young to have seen it, or are now too old to remember— dark in tone, particularly when you consider what Henson has come to be best known for: an intellectual, soft-spoken, soul-searching frog. It’s not easy bein’ green First debuting as a bit character on the five-minute sketch program Sam and Friends (1955), Kermit the Frog has grown to symbolize and, in some ways, eclipse the man behind the genteel amphibian. So, what is it about Kermit—the frog originally born of an old woman’s coat—that has allowed him to persevere in an age of 3-D TVs and Michael Bay blockbusters? Simply put: simplicity. Take for example the original Muppet Movie (1979). Our story begins with Kermit in his native land of, well, the swamp. Banjo in hand—don’t ask me how a frog got ahold of a banjo, let alone how he has the brain capacity or dexterity to play one—the opening number “The Rainbow Connection” sets the stage for an hour and a half long adventure filled with danger, selfdiscovery, romance, and hijinks. It’s here that any doubt regarding the artistic merit of puppetry, at least for most not-entirely-cynical folks, should be put to rest. Broken up by genuinely emotional ballads that are left to contrast with wacky high-energy musical numbers—I’m looking at you Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem—the core of the Muppets grows quickly as instant friendships are made and, remarkably, skirt the line and manage to avoid being called into question. Perhaps our suspension of belief is maintained in some part due to the sheer absurdity of the Muppet motley crew. Case in point: who am I to question the kinship between a bear and a frog or the sexual tension between said frog and a pig? That’s where 12
the depth of Henson’s vision and understanding of his audience makes the difference. It’s the same ineffable quality that has emerged in Pixar films that bridges the gap between, and captivates, children and adults alike. Speaking of which, where’s my The Incredibles 2?Anyway… An example of this in the Muppet Movie, the real coup de grâce to clinch the deal, is delivered in a scene highlighting Kermit at his most vulnerable: when what is, in essence, little more than an arms’ length of green fabric and a pair of ping pong balls questions the “dream.” Kermit asks the kinds of lofty life questions that more often than not come across as hammy or presumptuous in other more “adult” films. Through the childlike sincerity of his frog-shaped vessel, Henson navigates relatable real world concerns couched in a world of naiveté and whimsy with relative ease. Mortality, ethics, destiny, love, and the pursuit of happiness;
children the fundamentals of math and spelling, as well as any number of practical life skills and concepts: kindness, friendship, and acceptance, to name a few. While in later years Henson distanced himself from the Street in order to avoid having the company typecast as a “purveyor of solely children’s entertainment,” the impact that the show has had on millions of people should not be understated. The cult of Muppet occult The Dark Crystal (1982) was Henson and company’s debut (descent) into the world of dark fantasy; one that was met with some resistance, if box office numbers are anything to go by (see sidebar). The spiritual and brooding yin to the lighthearted yang of Henson’s Muppets, The Dark Crystal’s biggest draw at the time was its use of advanced animatronics: rods, cables, radio controls, and full-body suits—it was a live action film unlike anything that had been released, Henson or
“…who am I to question the kinship between a bear and a frog or the sexual tension between said frog and a pig?” common themes that draw back to what I’d mentioned before as something that has made Kermit and the gang steadfast members of the popular zeitgeist: simplicity. As a recently graduated 20-something, having had my fair share of “Kermit moments” up to this point in my life, with more to come, it’s a scene that—though un-ironically delivered by a frog—embodies the very human quality of self-doubt. The Street that Henson built What do you get when you take an eclectic mix of human actors, an eight foot tall yellow bird, a grouch in a can, two “odd couple” best friends, and a virtual parade of additional Muppet pals? Eight Grammy Awards, 118 Emmy Awards, and a program that has worked its way into the very fabric of our prepubescent cultural tapestry: Sesame Street. Looking back at my time “on” Sesame Street—with its counting vampire, woolie mammoth, and pastel-coloured hominids—the impression it left on my spongelike mind is one of the things that I point to when asked why I’m so weird and bizarre well-adjusted as a young adult. In reality, Sesame Street has taught generations of
otherwise. Followed up by 1986’s Labyrinth, starring David Bowie and Jennifer Connelly, Henson stayed the course and attempted to find a happy medium between mystical angst and slapstick absurdity. Regarded as a cult classic, it didn’t fare well at the box office. Perhaps it was (spoilers) the premise of the story itself that rendered the potential for mass appeal DOA: a bratty, head-in-the-clouds, 15-year-old girl, Sarah, wishes for her helpless baby brother, Toby, to be taken away by the Goblin King Jareth (David Bowie) for being a baby. Regardless, outside of an amazingly over-the-top performance from Bowie, the fact remains that memorable moments, like the “Magic Dance” scene, are worthy of fandom in their own. Labyrinth, perhaps more than The Dark Crystal, stands as an example of Henson’s successful understanding of his target audience; complimented by his constant need to appeal to a multigenerational viewership… at least in theory. The numbers of course still indicated that the formula needed work. Either that or maybe it was just a matter of time on the part of moviegoers to
recognize the underlining maturity of movies that, by all standards, was made for “kids.” It’s a code that Pixar has since cracked.
BOX OFFICE BREAKDOWN The Muppet Movie (1979): $273,976,557 Budget: $28 million The Dark Crystal (1982): $40,577,001 Budget: $15 million The Great Muppet Caper (1981): $31,206,251 Budget: N/A The Muppets Take Manhattan (1984): $25,534,703 Budget: $8 million Labyrinth (1986): $12,729,917 Budget: $25 million
The Muppets Crib Sheet •
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The script for the new movie took four years for Jason Segel and his writing partner, Nicholas Stoller, to pen With an estimated budget of $50,000,000 this is the most financially-backed Muppets project in the franchise’s history New Zealand’s own Bret McKenzie (one half of Flight of the Conchords) acted as the film’s music supervisor and, as such, wrote four original songs for the film Due to “mild rude humour” this is only the second, in the history of Muppet films, to receive a PG rating (the first being the 2002 made for TV movie, It’s a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie) Among the lofty list of cameo appearances—more than 30 some odd notable— Feist and Danny Trejo stand as two of the more unexpected guests. Stay sharp moviegoers! The theatrical release of the film is preceded by a short film, entitled Small Fry, featuring characters from Pixar’s Toy Story series
Image by Cody Klyne 13
Opinions. Not so fantastic plastic My two cents on Canada’s new bills
Off Campus Cuisine: The Crab Shop Crustacean cuisine at the Quay is a keeper By Bryce Tarling Does cafeteria food fail to cater to your taste buds? Not digging the Dougout? Then grab your finest bib and try to avoid drooling on the person next to you, because we’re here to offer salvation for you students looking to humble your hunger, without having to wear out your shoes getting there.
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here’s just something about eating fish and chips down by the water that makes it all the more tastier. Students looking for a place to go between classes might want to take a trip down to the Westminster Quay to check out By Eric Wilkins, Staff Writer
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o you often find yourself leaving your hard-earned dough in a cup of fluids? Have you found that you have an incredible desire to rip a twentydollar bill to shreds? Does it bother you that our current paper money is merely translucent instead of transparent? If you answered “yes” to any of the above questions, then you should likely seek professional help. But while you’re waiting for treatment, you will be pleased to hear about Canada’s new plastic bills!
simply stain-resistant, and, as such, may be dipped in your favourite beverage should you so desire. The new greenbacks/rainbow-backs are also near impossible to rip if what the government tells us is true. With this point in mind, try it; I dare you. I personally am not a huge fan of the new bills. I know that Canadian currency already has a tendency to look like play money, but these new bills, despite being almost twice the production cost, look cheap. Oh the irony. It’s also not a huge selling point for me that our new cash is practically
“Yes, there are some completely unnecessary ‘improvements,’ but is it really worth the extra cost?” In this lovely month of November, the Canadian Government has released polymer bills unto the public. These new bills are supposedly almost impossible to counterfeit. Beginning with this month, it will now be possible to pick up a brand-spanking-new plastic hundred-dollar bill. In order to pick up a fifty, twenty, ten, or fivedollar bill though, one will need to wait until March of 2012 (for the fifty) or late 2013. One of the much advertised facts about these new bills is that they will last almost three times longer than the current paper currency; the standard bill in my wallet can’t seem to last longer than a day or two, so this new longer-lasting bill will be great! As suggested by the opening questions, the new slips buck tradition in more than one way. They, being plastic, are much closer to being stain-proof than 14
waterproof; for the little time that money actually resides in my wallet, it generally stays there out of harm’s way, not on a table or counter where spills might become an issue. I have yet to actually hold the new moola in my own hands, but the image in my mind is something akin to a laminated sort of feel. When I think laminated, I think one of those cheap to middle-class establishments with laminated menus that have dried and still-sticky food stains on them. I have no wish to place a sticky laminated menu in my wallet. I can’t think of any real positives for our new legal tender outside of the fact that it will cut down on counterfeiting. Yes, there are some completely unnecessary “improvements,” but is it really worth the extra cost? I suppose at the very least, the see-through window provides a relatively inconspicuous way for some people-watching. Yay?
1–Piece Cod ’n Chips offers a nice, thick piece of fish, encrusted in a seasoned and crispy batter. The chips aren’t fresh-cut, but they fry them to a nice golden crisp, and you get a decent amount of them. For $6, it’s not bad for a student grab-and-go—and it comes with a tub of tartar sauce. Those with a bit more expensive taste can opt for the halibut meal, which starts at $10 for a 1–Piece Meal. I also tried the One Fish Taco & Small Chowder Combo for $6.95. The fish in the taco is likely primarily composed of leftover
“The real draw of the Crab Shop—and what gives the shop its “fresh,” credibility—is the open kitchen and seafood tanks with live crabs, an assortment of shellfish, and even a few starfish floating about.”
the recently opened Crab Shop. The place caters to people looking for a quick meal, or who want to pick up some fresh seafood to cook up at home. The real draw of the Crab Shop—and what gives the shop its “fresh,” credibility—is the open kitchen and seafood tanks with live crabs, an assortment of shellfish, and even a few starfish floating about. And before you ask, the answer is “no”—unless you’re roaming the Wangfujing Night Market in Beijing, you don’t typically eat the starfish. Aside from the live seafood, the shop offers a good selection of casual fare that can be eaten at the small counter inside the shop, or taken out to tables in the common area of the market. The take-out menu features a good selection of fish and chips, seafood burgers, sandwiches, and soups. All around the Quay, there are signs boasting “The Best Fish and Chips in New Westminster.” Whether that’s fact or not, the Crab Shop sure didn’t disappoint. The
bits, but they’re nicely seasoned and the cabbage gives it a good crunch. Though, if you bring your appetite, just one taco might not be enough to fill up on. The soup had a thin creamy broth, seasoned with plenty of dill. It was a bit light on the seafood—from what I could tell: clams and chunks of salmon—but offered a good array of vegetables. If you’re on a student’s budget, you might want to bring your own drink because the place doesn’t offer any fountain drinks—just cans and bottles. It’s great to see that the Quay is finally starting to come back. Even though it was raining on a Saturday, and bitterly cold, there were people milling about at the craft fair where a guitarist belted out campy takes on some old Creedance Clearwater classics. The Crab Shop is located in the newly redesigned “River Market” at the New Westminster Quay, Unit #116. They also have a second location in North Vancouver.
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Geared up to vote, but alone at the starting gate
Opinions
Where did all the voters go? By Matthew Visser
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s you’re likely aware, it’s voting season. But the question I ask is this: where the hell are all the voters? In a time when democracy is fought and died for in other parts of the world, and governments are losing followers faster than Ashton’s post-Penn State-scandal
young voters is that they like to bash us and say that we’re not doing our civic duty, yet they aren’t doing anything to motivate us to actually vote. Most people I speak to in my age bracket (18-26) who don’t vote either say it’s because they don’t know who to vote for, or they think that their single vote won’t make a difference. But here lies the problem. One vote, sure I can see
“Most people I speak to in my age bracket (18-26) who don’t vote either say it’s because they don’t know who to vote for, or they think that their single vote won’t make a difference.”
Twitter feed, I am still confused when I read about how some people don’t vote. It’s my opinion that if you don’t vote, than you can’t bitch. It’s that simple It’s not like voting is even that hard of an endeavour. All people have to do is read the little handouts that potential city councillors mail to your house and think: “Hey I like what this person stands for” or “This guy’s full of crap! I would never vote for them.” The problem I have with people complaining about apathy amongst
their point. But when 100 people say the same thing, it means there were 100 unused votes that could have been used to bring about real changes. I just got back from a two-month stay in Europe, and I was immediately bombarded with politics, big names on signs, and wooden boards all around me. All I could think was: “Whoa, slow down! I just got here and I have no idea what anybody even stands for!” I recently went to an information session—though it was more of a
political roller coaster—where I listened to all of the hopeful candidates tell me the same thing over and over again, but they seemed to be more concerned with just keeping their mouths moving. I left the same as I had entered, feeling lost and still thinking that I might as well just vote for the people who had the jobs last year. They were doing an okay job and never did anything too terrible. But I at least went
out and tried to understand the political playground, with its fighting, namecalling, promises, and ambitious ideas, to see who my vote should go to. Isn’t this what counts? So please, if not for yourself, vote for me. Then at the end of the day you can say that you voted and that you performed your civic duty. Then you’re entitled to bitch for three years until the next election.
Greece has announced its own government of national unity which will also be led by a technocrat rather than an elected politician. The bond vigilantes continue to circle as a complete sovereign default and exit from the Eurozone looms. Europe now stands at a crossroads. The post-war project of European integration has been, up until this point, a resounding success. Despite the spectre of war between the Warsaw Pact and NATO during the Cold War, Western Europe has been without a major conflict since the end of the Second World War, and that is perhaps the greatest evidence in favour of the ongoing European project. But the series of concentric circles that has, up until now, characterized the European Union are beginning to collapse into one another. Europe has been unable to effectively deal with the series of fiscal calamities that has come its way. The various solutions that have been proposed up until now have been small potatoes in the very worst way. Bailouts by Germany and further commitments to backstop Greece, Portugal, Ireland and others have done nothing to solve the crises in any of these countries, and have generally exacerbated the economic calamities that
ordinary persons have to deal with — especially unemployment. What we are witnessing right now is the failure of otherwise rational actors to move beyond their petty jealousies and save not just the euro, but the future of the entire European Project. Some European elites have begun to float this idea of federal integration, including the former German foreign minister; however, much more political will is needed for such a drastic — and necessary — solution. At least amongst the countries of the Eurozone, a federal government with the powers of taxation and a democratic mandate would be able to save all of the countries now under threat from the bond markets. It would be able to set up sane financial institutions or at least modify the existing financial institutions to be sane. It could make the European Central Bank a lender of last resort. Europe remains at the brink. We will see very quickly whether the politicians and technocrats will be able to stave off economic Armageddon, and in the process we may witness the birth of a truly federal Europe. If we do not, I cannot begin to imagine the consequences.
Europe must federalize The economic crisis demands unification
By J.D.R. Brown — The Cascade (University of the Fraser Valley)
Silvio Berlusconi
ABBOTSFORD, B.C. (CUP) — There is only one proper remedy to what ails Europe, and it is certainly not tripling tuition fees and cutting pensions as David Cameron has done in the U.K. No, it is full fiscal and political union: federalism. The crisis in Europe has entered even more troubling waters. Silvio Berlusconi, the former prime minister of Italy, recently agreed to step aside on the condition that the government adopt more austerity measures. These reforms were deemed necessary by the myriad of interests in the European Central Bank, the European Commission and the governments of “core Europe” (read: Germany et al.) after the interest rates on Italian government bonds raced toward seven per cent — an incredibly high number for a country that is still solvent. A technocratic government, led by the unelected Mario Monti, a former European Commissioner, has been formed. Various European and North American media float the idea that this new interim government will calm the markets and allow Italy to continue to borrow as rates decline, thereby holding off complete catastrophe. I am not convinced.
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Opinions
Battle of the beers: Part II
Breaking down the best of the worst brews around By Jacey Gibb, Opinions Editor
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alloween’s a distant memory, Christmas is still over a month away, and we’ve just endured our first snowfall of the year. To top it off, there are more greasy moustaches floating around campus than at a Death Cab for Cutie concert. Could November get any worse? Luckily, everyone’s favourite annual, informal, unofficial, mostly arbitrary Battle of the Beers is here to keep you warm through the increasingly darker nights— though that might be the alcohol in your bloodstream talking. I love me some beer, but at the same time, I also like paying my rent and not being evicted. This coexistence of likes usually forces me to pass on treats like Stella or Alexander Keith’s, in favour of beverages that people primarily look down on me for. In order to provide you with the most educated and informed breakdown of the cheapest beers being offered at your friendly neighbourhood BC Liquor Store, my roommate and I purchased a six pack of each and sat down to share an evening of soft jazz and intellectual stimulation. Several games of beer pong and eight trips to the bathroom later, I present to you our final report on who’s who in the cheap brew zoo. 16
Cariboo Percentage: 5.5 | Damage: $7.79 This guy gets bonus points for being as common as an acoustic guitar around a campfire, but as far as taste goes, it’s a dud. Its flavour seems to be a treacherous balance between traces of soap and what it would be like to lick a homeless person’s armpit while the roommate described it as “like sour milk, but still bearable.” Are we having fun yet? To make things worse, the deeper we dove into our cans, the more we realized the beer tasted flatter than the prairies. The 5.5 percent for under eight bucks is a nice draw though. Wildcat Percentage: 6.1 | Damage: $12.29 Rightfully nicknamed “Shitty Kitty,” Wildcat’s high potency and ability to come in a 15-pack have made it a recurring contributor to my weekend debauchery, but that doesn’t make it the best. When actually faced with having to describe what Wildcat’s taste is like, one realizes how surprisingly weak it is. We both agreed that it had a watered down taste present, with a seemingly dehydrating aftertaste. But to be fair, I’ll probably pick up a pack of the stuff this weekend anyways. Pabst Blue Ribbon Percentage: 4.9 | Damage: $8.29 Aside from when I attend
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the occasional plaid party at the Biltmore, I’ve stopped drinking the hipster weapon of choice. Is it because I’m making a statement about my individuality and am boldly breaking out on my own? No, not really. While admittedly this used to be one of my regular picks, I fell out of love the moment I heard from a liquor store clerk that they were lowering the percentage from 5.9 to 4.9. The whole situation has left a bitter taste in my mouth—probably where that one percent used to be. If the beer companies are willing to try pulling a fast one on us, who can we trust?! Brava Percentage: 5 | Damage: $7.54 The beer’s title, which in Italian means praise for a female performer, is definitely the only noticeable aspect of Brava. The overwhelmingly mundane flavour can’t go unnoticed, especially when it comes with such a
Gold Percentage: 6.3 | Damage: $7.99 Finally, a beer deserving of its achievement related name! Gold has the privilege of being the second most potent beverage on the list, right behind Ironhorse, but unlike its stronger beer counterpart, Gold doesn’t taste like wolf urine. In fact, I would go as far as to say it tastes alright. It has an unexpected kick in the balls aftertaste, but is slightly bitter. My roommate complained that his throat tasted like sewage after he was done his can, but I’m attributing that to us being drunk by this point. Big Surf Percentage: 5 | Damage: $7.99 The tropical beach scene design on the can caught my eye, but it was the price tag that sealed the deal. Thankfully, Big Surf beer is almost as easy on the tastebuds as it is on the eyes. The general agreement was that it in fact didn’t taste like a cheap
“Several games of beer pong and eight trips to the bathroom later, I present to you our final report on who’s who in the cheap brew zoo.”
distinguishable name. My roommate argued that it was not that bad, but to win Battle of the Beer, a brew must be more than just not that bad. Ironhorse Percentage: 6.4 | Damage: $7.69 Last year’s champion (“It’s the Buckley’s of the beer world: it tastes awful, and it works.”) has fallen far in my books. I was primarily blinded by my unemployment goggles back then—concerned only with stretching my beer budget tighter than my roommate’s jeans. But since those dark days, I’ve reassessed what I look for in my alcohol. Like drinkability. Lately, I’ve found that I can’t bypass the awful taste, no matter how much lime juice I mix in or how fast I beer bong it. Needless to say, Ironhorse won’t be getting the gold this time around.
beer at all, but perhaps something that you would order a pint of in a restaurant. Not bad for a beer whose can looks like it would have tropical fruit punch inside. And the winner is… Gold! I swear that I didn’t give it first place solely based on the name—though funny how that worked out. While I wasn’t lying in saying that my priorities in beer have changed over the last year, the 6.3 is still too damn attractive for me to pass up. As well, it hovers around the same price mark as the other guys and doesn’t declare war on my tastebuds like Ironhorse. So there you have it folks. I hope this guide has made you as thirsty as I am, and I’ll see all of you next year, supposing that I don’t succumb to alcohol poisoning before then.
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Vancouver gives sustainable options to the future of journalism By Stephanie Trembath
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ustainable growth and community involvement have never been issues for mass media; the blogosphere and mediums like Twitter and YouTube have created platforms for political debate, constant entertainment, and a universal exchange in information. However, with the World Wide Web transforming our media systems, the field of student journalism has been called into question. Media Democracy Days Vancouver is an annual public event that answers these questions and allows for discussions on the rapidly transforming field of media relations and journalism. “The future of journalism depends on the ability of journalists to come together nationally, and internationally, to defend their interests” says Vincent Mosco, who acts as Canada Research Chair in Communication and Society at Queen’s University. Mosco is well-known for his studies in in the Political Economy of Communications, and his published works, The Digital Sublime, where he discusses myths surrounding the digital age and how this expansion of networked media systems have altered our means of social interaction, development, and political engagement. Mosco’s studies elaborate on the political economy through the study of social philosophy, social totality, historical change, and praxis; which he terms the study of societal values. A popular speaker for Media Democracy Days Vancouver, Mosco was one of many guest speakers who were warmly welcomed by hundreds of supportive citizens and students from all over the Lower Mainland. The weekend kicked off with a film screening of War Made Easy and a lecture from cultural studies expert Sut Jhally,
a communications professor from the University of Massachusetts. Jhally also made a guest appearance at Simon Fraser University the following Monday to wrap-up the weekend, lending his cultural expertise in the media industry and advertising. “Social media does not facilitate social movements,” says Jhally, “social media should be used as a tool for change, but is not change itself. The media we live in today is
advertisers pay for space through this medium—the largest known social media system in our history to date—which is a very influential and powerful advertising space. Jhally referred to advertisers as Harry Potter’s “Dementors” in relation to our social media systems, “they suck the life right out of you, and in some cases, you don’t even realize it.” Elaborating on current affairs, Jhally commented on China’s mass
“Jhally suggested that media is not in the message-producing industry, rather, it is how media transforms and influences the human consciousness—the very behaviours that produce and consume commodities presented by the advertising industry.” more like a Matrix, with little bits and pieces that all come together to create a big picture. The political economy shaped from our media systems today is created and sustained by the consumer, and it is only the consumer—you guys—that has the power to influence change.” Jhally’s lecture highlighted the effects of the advertising industry as a key component in our media systems today, through print media, television, radio broadcasting, and online networks. Jhally suggested that media is not in the messageproducing industry, rather, it is how media transforms and influences the human consciousness—the very behaviours that produce and consume commodities presented by the advertising industry. “The greatest production value is in the audience—who is the audience? This is the question of every organization, which is what the audience should be doing, questioning everything.” Jhally used Facebook as the most recent example of media consuming the human subconsiousness, asking the lecture hall of students why Facebook was worth millions of dollars if it was free to sign up. His answer: because
political economy, as it was noted as being the second-largest economy in the world according to The New York Times, and gave credit to none other than the proud United States of America. Regardless of the trillions of dollars that America owes to the Chinese government, Jhally remained unconcerned and declared that it is thanks to the consumer attitude and neglect for the country’s increasing debt problems that China’s economy has flourished; Jhally asserted that China needs this wealth of consumer consciousness in order to sustain their economy, and without it they have nothing. “Capitalism loves difference, you can always further exploit it!” were the words Jhally left his audience with, after drawing comparisons between the sweatshop factories used to exploit workers in China, and the “Factory of the living room” constructed by television advertisers. Like sweatshops that instill horrible working conditions, longer workdays, and child labour, Jhally insists that with our current media systems and values, there is systematic abuse of advertisements and a consumer attitude that
creates “work” by the audience. “Consuming commercials and ads is work” said Jhally, which is aimed and created not only for adults but also children with younger, more vulnerable mindsets. “We need to take the factory back—take the media back, and reform our social values and social media systems today, for the health of our future and the continuity of journalism as a democratic practice.” Media Democracy Days Vancouver was held from November 11 to 13 and promoted the democratization of mass media through media systems to support a media reform in order to allow for a systematic change where our media is more accessible, accountable, and representative of public demand. With three days of open panels for discussion, film screenings, and workshops, Media Democracy Days works to bring Vancouver’s community together with all supporting citizens, artists, journalists, scholars, and political leaders to assist in revolutionizing our Canadian media systems. 17
Sports. Music, beer, and swag
Flying discs on par
The Grey Cup festivities
Is it a sport: Frolf
By Matthew Visser
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By Eric Wilkins, Staff Writer
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he CFL season is nearing its end for this year, and oh what a season it has been! The Lions have come roaring back from a less than lacklustre start, and, as of the writing of this article, are set to host the West Division Final. With a little luck, the Leos will come out on the winning end of their matchup with the Eskimos and be able to have the honour of playing for the Grey Cup on home turf. Of course, even if the Lions don’t make the final (God forbid), the Grey Cup will still be held right here in Vancouver, and that means a whole lot of events! The Grey Cup is a sporting event, but you definitely don’t need to be a hardcore fan to appreciate all that’s going on. For starters, there are the concerts taking place at the Playnow.com Main Stage! The Zolas, Hey Ocean!, Said the Whale, Stone Pines, PRISONERS, Rococode, Guilty about Girls, Bend Sinister, Kyprios, The Dudes, TV Heart Attack, The Boom Booms, The Belle Game, The Matinee, Gentleman Prefer Blondes, Louder than Love, Head of the Herd, and Stars of Boulevard are all set to perform. For free. Life really doesn’t get any better than free concerts does it? Looking for a drink before kickoff? Make sure you check out
the Molson Canadian House at the Vancouver Convention Centre West. Music, beer, and partying… what are you waiting for? For $35 you can still pick up a single-day wristband that allows you in/out privileges all day long! Want something more hands-on? Then head over to the Scotiabank Football Experience at the Vancouver Convention Centre West. You will get the opportunity to kick a field goal, throw a pass, pose with the Grey Cup, see TSN broadcasters live, get your face painted, grab an autograph, and tons of other fun stuff. If parades are more your sort of thing, then you won’t want to miss the Safeway Grey Cup Festival Parade! Led by Cory Monteith (yes…that guy from Glee), the parade will be full of floats, marching bands, and dancers. The Christmas parade may be coming soon, but how can it possibly hope to hold a candle to a Grey Cup parade? If there is still nothing that has caught your eye, then head on downtown anyway! The city will close off several streets for the events, and the atmosphere is going to be electric. There promises to be plenty of opportunities for free swag, and a whole host of contests going on so don’t stay at home this weekend (November 25–27)—go party it up in Vancouver!
know what you’re thinking. What on earth is “frolf”? Frolf is, simply put, golf played with a Frisbee; or, as it is properly named, “Frisbee Disc Golf.” The rules are the exact same as a normal game of golf, and it is more widely played than I thought. I went out to play the game with an experienced friend at Mundy Park, to find out if Frolf is a sport. The day was dry and sunny and the park was pretty empty, so we had no worries of having to wait on people to pass us before we “teed off.” There were nine baskets around the park, which were about 150 feet away from the tee off. The first tee was in the trees, and I don’t mean a couple of trees—no, it was in the forest. So with a few first attempts of trying to get to the piece of metal bowl with chain around it, I hit more trees and was up a good +6 on a 3 par hole. But I can’t really call it a hole as there was no hole— so I will call it a basket. My friend was throwing the Frisbee like he’d been doing it all his life. By the end of the first nine baskets, I was +9. Not too terrible in my opinion, which made me want to play again. Sadly, I did no better the second game than I did the first. And I also threw the Frisbee in a deep pond and had to go fishing for it. Not an experience I will most likely volunteer to do again. I like hitting a golf ball more than I like throwing a Frisbee. I can hit the ball far and straight, while the Frisbee did not go in any direction I wanted it to. Near the end of the second game we saw two men playing
Frolf too, but as if they were pros. They had backpacks on full of different disks and talked about Frolf—I was eavesdropping—as if it were the most important thing in the world to them. And hey, it probably was, as one was wearing a hat and T-shirt that said something about the “National Frisbee Disc Golf Club.” I went up to them and asked if Frolf was, indeed, a sport. They were actually insulted I used the word “Frolf” and said that yes it was and they belonged to a certain club and were both on committees and one guy earned money playing the game. Now I don’t know about you, but to me, if someone makes money from playing a game then it is a sport. And if there is a Professional Disc Golf Association called the PDGA, then yes it is a sport. The PDGA is huge across North America and people, like the two men I met, take this sport very seriously with specially-built courses and tours for Frisbee Disc Golf. So there you have it, Frolf is an actual sport and if you think you might want to give a throw, go get a Frisbee and head to the nearest park—the holes or baskets can be anything. I, on the other hand, will wait for a while before I head back to play Frolf. Now I just wished I could actually throw a damn Frisbee straight.
Athlete of the Week Lucas DeCoste
By Josh Martin, Sports Editor
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his past weekend I had a chance to meet up with an old friend of mine who I used to play basketball with back in the day: the DC Royals’ very own Lucas DeCoste. After the Saturday afternoon match against the Camosun College Chargers—which was a nail-biter of a game ending in a disappointing 7467 loss for the Royals—the injured 6’7” 19-year-old was happy to answer a few questions of mine that I’m glad to share with you all.
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When did you start playing basketball? “[in] grade 6 at Glenbrook Middle School. Then I went to high school and started playing at [New Westminster Secondary School]. I played as an on-and-off starter for three of the years and then worked my way to being more of a school player; a bit more action and then came here.” So is this your second year here at Douglas College? “Yeah.” How do you like it? “It’s good. I’m liking the team. We have some good chemistry this year…
better than last year I’d say in terms of chemistry. Not that it was bad last year but we’re pretty close this year, since it’s our second year together.” What’s your position on the team? “I play centre. I’m back-up to Devin who is playing starting centre this year. I’m a big body so… yeah, it’s good. We all challenge each other and try and make each other better and compete and practice.” Are you sticking around here next year? “Yeah, I’m staying here for one more year after this year and then probably off to UBC.”
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Canucks Corner
By Josh Martin, Sports Editor
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ime is moving fast! It’s already nearing the end of November and within a few weeks this semester will be over and done with. The final stretch heading into Christmas break is never the easiest, but can definitely be the most rewarding. Just think of the holiday cheer loaded with carolling, Christmas cookies, ugly Christmas sweaters, Santa hats, snow, friends and family, hot chocolate by the fire, and of course Canucks games that surely you will not want to miss coming your way. There’s not much better than that. If you can’t seem to find time to watch the Canucks games on a regular basis, then make sure to at least find time for these three head-to-head marquee-matchups which will not disappoint in the least. These matchups are sure to help with the gruelling stress of the next several weeks, serving as an escape from reality. Canucks vs. San Jose Sharks, Saturday November 26, 7 p.m. Ah yes. Hockey Night in Canada on a Saturday night and of course Saturday Night Live to follow. It’s
almost worth skipping a party for. Whenever these two teams meet up you know it’s going to be a doozie. The high-octane San Jose Sharks are always a thrill to watch with their offensive explosion in Joe Thornton, Patrick Marleau, Joe Pavelski, Logan Couture, the newly acquired Martin Havlat, and last but not least the offensive dynamo on the blueline, Dan Boyle. Last year they were eliminated by the Canucks in the Western Conference Final in six games, a series in which they were out-played in every category, and a series which ended with a confusing Kevin Bieksa slap shot that took a strange bounce and ended up in the back of the net before anyone realized it—something that I’m sure has frustrated and haunted the Sharks in the past months as a fluke goal that ended their playoff hopes of making it to the Stanley Cup Finals. With all of that history and drama on the table it will be without a doubt a head-on collision battle between two teams that are raring to go in their first of four meetings in the regular season. Don’t miss it.
Games to Watch
Canucks vs. Montreal Canadiens, Thursday December 8, 4:30 p.m. Whenever the Canucks play any Eastern Conference team it is indeed a treat, especially when they play the Montreal Canadiens. Over the past few years, whenever these two teams meet up, the headlines have been about the battle of the goaltenders. Between the pipes we got Roberto Luongo and Carey Price, two talented NHL players who are among the top goalies in the league. Has a nice ring to it. The sheer fact that both goalies are going to be duking it out on opposite sides of the rink has everybody buzzing. Last season Price had a 38-28-6 record in 72 games with a .923 Save Percentage and a 2.35 Goals Against Average while Luongo had a 38-15-7 record through 60 games, a .928 SV% and a 2.11 GAA. The Montreal Canadiens— like the Canucks—are struggling to find their A-game through the first couple of months in the regular season. They are, as of last Friday, in 12th position in the Eastern Conference with an 8-8-3 record and 19 points. But don’t think that matters when
December 8 rolls around and these two teams meet up. With all numbers aside, it will be a contest full of hard-nosed hits, grinding gears, and greasy goals. Canucks vs. Toronto Maple Leafs, Saturday December 17, 4:00 p.m. Oh the dreaded Toronto Maple Leafs. A team that I can easily say I love to hate. Whenever the Canucks come out on top against them it feels oh so good. The Leafs are doing quite well this season sporting a 10-7-2 record in 19 games so far, along with 22 points, placing them in sixth position in the Eastern Conference. Phil Kessel is leading the team with some inspiring play to start off the year. He is not only leading his team in scoring but is leading the entire NHL with an impressive 13 goals and 12 assists—25 points in 19 games. However something tells me that this hot streak might wear off soon... I don’t think Kessel will keep the Ovechkin and Crosbytypes at bay for much longer, especially in this day and age. But who knows, anything can happen.
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Sports
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By David Hollinshead Calgary Stampeders 19–33 Edmonton Eskimos In the West Div ision of the semi-finals, there were no surprises. The Edmonton Eskimos easily handled the Calgary Stampeders 33–19. Both teams entered the post-season with an 11–7 record, but with Edmonton having the tie breaker, they hosted the game. Ricky Ray and Drew Tate were the starting quarterbacks for their respective teams. Ricky Ray, being a Grey Cup winner already and much more experienced than Tate, came in as the favourite to take his team to BC the next week to face the Lions. In the first quarter, Edmonton saw their 3–1 lead evaporate with a five-yard touchdown run by running back Jon Cornish. Calgary got the ball right back in the second quarter. Tate showed off his inexperience and nerves as he dropped the ball during his throwing motion, resulting in a 77-yard fumble return for a touchdown. Edmonton took control from there, as in the Eskimos next possession, Canadian running back Jerome Messam (the first Canadian to
CFL first round
playoffs
break the thousand-yard mark on the season since 2000) scored from seven yards out. With seven seconds left in the half, Ray threw receiver Jason Barnes open on a four-yard touchdown play. Drew Tate was pulled after the first half for Henry Burris, last year’s league Most Outstanding Player, whose time in Calgary is probably at its end and is most likely auditioning for teams next year. Calgary scored on two field goals in the third quarter and halfway through the fourth was making an attempt for a comeback. With one minute left in the game though, Edmonton running back Calvin McCarty scored on a one-yard run, putting the game out of reach for Calgary. Despite Tate’s inability to effectively lead the offence during his first playoff start, he is the future of the Stampeders. Henry Burris has made it very clear after the game that he is not okay with being a backup, and his best chance at being a starter is to sign a contract with Toronto, who is desperate for a quarterback. Ricky Ray though, showed why he should be considered with Montreal’s Anthony Calvillo as one of the league’s top flight passers. The Edmonton victory did not come without a cost, as Messam was injured and is
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listed as doubtful against BC. The Lions are rested and healthy as ever as they prepare to host Edmonton. BC’s record against the Eskimos was 3–1 this season, losing their only game against them during their 0–5 skid at the beginning of the year. Besides that hiccup, they have handled them very well during all three of their victories. Lion’s quarterback Travis Lulay is being considered for the league’s Most Outstanding Player, and was awarded with CFL All-Star honours, as well as fellow Lions: slot-back Geroy Simon, tackle Jovan Olafioye, center Angus Reid, defensive tackles Khalif Mitchell and Aaron Hunt, linebacker Solomon Elimimian, and kicker Paul McCallum. Hamilton Tiger-Cats 52–44 Montreal Alouettes (OT) Despite the West Division finals playing out as predicted, the East Division semi-finals played out much differently than anyone predicted. It marked the ending of a dynasty. The two-time defending champion Montreal Alouettes were knocked out of the first round by a team that entered the playoffs with a losing record. Entering the playoffs with a losing record isn’t all that surprising in the CFL, as there’s usually at least one or two come postseason; but for them to beat the defending champs is something no one saw coming. The Montreal offence was running on all cylinders on November 13, but their defence and lack of talent in the secondary led to their downfall. Hamilton, on the other hand, abandoned their two-quarterback rotational system and stuck completely with Kevin Glenn. Quinton Porter threw only two passes in the game, and completed them both for 34 yards and even a touchdown. Glenn though was the winning field general on this day. Glenn went 23 for 32 with 275 yards and a touchdown with an interception. It also marked the return on running back Avon Cobourne to Montreal. Cobourne carried the load for Montreal for both of their Grey Cup wins. Cobourne ran 14 times for 97 yards and a touchdown. Montreal quickly took the lead with a field goal, but Hamilton came right back to score on a Marcus Thigpen 50-yard run, and capped off the quarter with a field goal. Montreal came back in the second quarter with 10 straight points, scoring with running back Brandon Whitaker and another field goal. Glenn and Porter though scored on two quick passing touchdowns. Montreal finished the half with a field goal. The third quarter slowed down with scoring, as Hamilton scored on a field goal and Montreal scored a touchdown. Montreal’s quarterback, Anthony Calvillo, came out and ran up to tie the game in the fourth quarter. Hamilton still put up 17 points, but Montreal scored early and often, putting up 21 points. In overtime though, Porter scored on a one yard run, winning the game for Hamilton. Hamilton will go on to face the Winnipeg Blue Bombers, who may or may not be without starting quarterback Buck Pierce, which would be a huge loss for Winnipeg. Both of these teams won both of their games against BC, the only two teams that BC couldn’t defeat.
s e p o c s o r x Fau with
Madame Mystique
Capricorn (12/22-1/19) School will be worse than ever. Tim Hortons will be out of the good donuts and you will have make do with the custard-filled ones. There is a high chance that coffee will spill on your clothes today. Also, due to the alignment of Mercury and Mars, the bus will be five minutes late. But don’t worry, stress is what makes you get stronger! Or maybe ulcers. I always get those two mixed up. Aquarius (1/20-2/18) A cell phone call will be in your future. Your object of affection will phone you, so keep your phone turned on. The bad news? The planets will align so that it will ring during a very important presentation. Pisces (2/19-3/20) Today you will wake up remembering an old phrase: An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but a burger a day will make the doctor stay. By the way, have you checked out White’s Spot new all-you-caneat burger special? Aries (3/21-4/19) Love is an adventure. You never know what you might find today, so go on a blind date! There’s a good chance that your date might keep doing his or her Donald Duck impression over and over again. The planets have destined for you to be together. Good luck. Taurus (4/20-5/20) The planets have foretold that you will be in an epic battle of ideas today! It’s between you and an old man debating whether or not women should stay in the kitchen. Don’t worry if you don’t have counter-arguments. After five minutes, the old man will just go back to sleep. Gemini (5/21-6/21) Cherish each fleeting moment today because you’re somehow sitting on the remote from Click.
Humour. Silvio Berlusconi retires to spend more time with families
More precisely, the fast-forward button. No, don’t ask how it got there; a wizard did it. Maybe you’ll finally see a flying car! Cancer (6/22-7/22) Today you’ll find yourself stuck in a training montage from an ‘80s movie. It will start...now. You’re the best! Around! Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down! Leo (7/23-8/22) Watching people may inspire you; but you may also be labeled a stalker. So don’t watch people through their windows. Not even if you dress up as Edward Cullen. Virgo (8/23-9/22) Overcoming challenges will be effortless. Maybe now you can finally nail Jell-O to a tree. But the only tree is in your neighbour’s backyard. Your neighbour will be so impressed with your results that he’ll file a restraining order against you. Libra (9/23-10/22) You’ve been warned not to keep your hopes up, and continue to keep them low today. You will be dragged to see Breaking Dawn by a Twihard close to you. Scorpio (10/23-11/21) You’re stronger than you think. So go ahead, punch out the annoying drunk that frequents your favourite bar. The planets command it. Note: the planets are not responsible for any injury or death that might befall you. Sagittarius (11/22-12/21) Missing your flight might be the worst thing ever, but don’t succumb to melodrama! Take this chance as an opportunity to explore new culture. Just don’t give anything over to the wallet inspector, no matter how legitimate he or she looks.
By Liam Britten, Humour Editor
A
fter his resignation in disgrace from the world of Italian politics and facing down charges of sexual impropriety, Silvio Berlusconi told reporters that from now on, his families will be the most important things in his life. Tired of philandering and public humiliation, Berlusconi has decided to marry all four of his current kept women, saying that he has become a far more devoted man now that politics are behind him. He says that the stresses of public life caused him to find comfort in the arms of mistresses; as a private citizen once more, he can take comfort in the simple joy of his several bigamous families. “I feel that I have gained much perspective indeed from these unfortunate events in Italy,” he said, referring to his resignation after being unable to solve the economic crisis in Italy. “Politics, she is a cruel mistress. She can love you one moment, and then she throw you out. It is crazy. But my wife, I know she will always be there for me. As will the other one, Francesca; and Maria too, and of course, my latest one… Um, I can’t
exactly remember her name. You know who I mean? Eh, it will come to me.” “The cheating, it was a disgrace,” he said. “My family did not deserve to go through that. Neither did any of the other ones. I feel such a shame.” In addition to his public family, the one Italians are used to seeing with the 75-year-old former prime minister, Berlusconi fathered two children with then-22-year-old Genovese prostitute Maria Gervasi in 1998. As well, he is known to Italian pornography aficionados by his performing name “Il Wang Grande” in such Italian porn films as Il Pervertito da Padua and Mio Dio! Che Tette! made in the mid‘80s. His on-screen work with co-stars and now wives Francesca Fiore and Fiona Lizzani led to three more children. “Fiona! That’s the name of the latest one! See, I tell you it would come,” he told The Other Press. But now that he has left the political arena behind, Berlusconi plans on spending his remaining years as any other retired citizen would. He plans to enjoy plenty of golfing, boating, and evading paternity suits. 21
Humour
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Rookie science reporter has no goddamn clue what a neutrino is
By Liam Britten, Humour Editor
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rookie reporter assigned to the science desk of The Globe and Mail has no hope in hell figuring out what a neutrino is, so he’s just gonna wing it. Derek Chan, 28, has been entrusted to write a story for the paper’s Wednesday edition about the recent discovery by scientists at the European Organization for Nuclear Research (CERN) that neutrino beams may indeed move faster than the speed of light. He was to conduct interviews with CERN spokespeople,
writing for a publication can give a man, Chan bullshitted “one of the best articles of my career.” Drawing on things he halfremembered from Grade 11 physics and a few Wikipedia articles, Chan described neutrinos as “a subatomic particle which has no electric charge and a mass slightly larger than that of a proton” and “along with protons, the building blocks of an atom’s nuclei,” both attributes of a neutron. Then, Chan rearranged the words of University of Toronto physics professor Joseph Thywissen into an article he could be proud of, and his editors would be too bored to fact check.
“They kept talking all this science lingo, superfluid vacuums and tachyons and crap, and I don’t know what that means. No one does! I just needed him to give me a quote that wasn’t too long, ‘cause I hate transcribing.” interview local physicists at the University of Toronto, and update readers on what scientists think these results could mean. “Anyways, long story short, the U of T guy was a total douche, kept talking down to me, right?” Chan told The Other Press. “They kept talking all this science lingo, superfluid vacuums and tachyons and crap, and I don’t know what that means. No one does! I just needed him to give me a quote that wasn’t too long, ‘cause I hate transcribing.” Mustering up his courage and the knowledge that only three full weeks
“All I had to do was carefully massage the story into something that any boob reading it would feel like a genius after reading, even if they had no clue what it was about or the veracity of the facts contained within,” Chan said. “It’s called journalism.” Chan is hoping the story could be his ticket to a bigger assignment. “Honestly, I’m aiming to be on the sports desk,” he said. “The Leafs are hot again, and I hear Phil Kessler is scoring like a madman.”
Dairy Queen releases new Cheeseburger Blizzard Inaugural Savoury Sensations ice cream flavour combines dinner and dessert
F
ollowing a mandate to bring some sizzle to the cold, Dairy Queen Canada announced today that the latest Blizzard flavour will be the Cheeseburger Chill. “The Cheeseburger Chill is literally the most delicious thing ever,” says vice-president of tastiness Anna McTreat. “It’s the perfect blend of everything that everyone wants to eat.” The Cheeseburger Chill Blizzard marks a break from the dessert-palate norm with a combination of vanilla soft-serve ice cream, ground beef and cheddar cheese. The new flavour will hit stores November 29. The Cheeseburger Chill is the first in a line of “Savoury Sensation” flavours, which will combine elements from Dairy Queen’s Hot Eats menu selections with Blizzard ice cream. According to McTreat, DQ will release a new Savoury Sensation every month for the next year. The new Savoury Sensation campaign shows a dramatic turn for the restaurant, who traditionally created Blizzard flavours based on sweets and candy. Spokespeople for the company commented on the November release of the product, citing customer demand for new ways to eat ice cream year-round. “Dairy Queen Canada couldn’t be more excited about our inaugural Savoury Sensation, the Cheeseburger Chill Blizzard. What could
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be more mouth-watering than ice cream and burgers?” Says McTreat, who adds, “Also, by combining dinner and dessert in one tasty cup, we are providing our customers with a timesaving benefit.”
Dear Animals, This letter is for the Animals, who live out back, those squawking/quacking/ chattering animals who are always waking me up — this letter is for the Crows, who have moved into those big, green, luscious, pine trees, and who love love love to crow/caw/call, and wake me up at six in the morning on a Saturday; this letter is for the Ducks, who stand beside the swimming pool, and who Just Can’t Stop loudly/harshly/piercingly discussing if the chlorine would be bad bad bad for their feathers; and this letter is for the Squirrels, who are always, always, always running/playing/giggling in those great, emerald, bold and beautiful pine trees, that are ri gh gh tt outside my bedroom window — so, I ask you/ I beg you/ I implore you/ to please, pretty please, (with a cherry on top) Just Shut Up! Sincerely, Allie Davison Apt 412 Holdom Place
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Humour
Ski Ninjas/Kyle Lees (skininjas.blogspot.com)
Continued on pg.25
Tampa Bay Lightning coach Admiral Ackbar decides to play the trap
Nation’s party hosts: Who is that guy? Did you invite him? I didn’t invite him
Occupy Palestine enters 16,225th consecutive day 23
News.