3 minute read
HOLIDAY TIME SHARING
LEGALLY SPEAKING HOLIDAY TIME SHARING By Evan H. Baron, Esq.
Most people think of the holiday season with gleeful anticipation of time with family. For couples who have been through a divorce, the holiday season can often be a very stressful time. This stress can also be felt by the children of a divorced couple. It is not uncommon for holiday visitation issues to surface during this time of year. Hopefully the parties’ settlement agreement or Parenting Plan is specific as to time sharing. Over the course of approximately 35 years of practice my clients have experienced many issues concerning holiday visitation. The biggest obstacle to solving an issue in court during this time of year, is the reality that court time is very difficult to schedule. Last minute issues will usually not be addressed. Of course, the parties are always able to try and work things out on their own or with the help of attorneys and mediators. I would certainly suggest not waiting until the “last minute” to address any such concerns. The best way to insure there will be no conflicts during the holidays is to anticipate potential problems ahead of time and address them in the marital settlement agreement and/or Parenting Plan. The more specific your agreement is, the more likely you will not experience conflicts along the way. For couples with minor children Parenting Plans have been mandatory. These Parenting Plans are designed to be very specific as to time sharing in an effort to head off any trouble in years to come. Unfortunately, these Parenting Plans were not used prior to the latter part of 2008 and therefore many existing agreements do not include this provision. I believe the most important thing to remember is that any timesharing arrangement should always keep the best interest of the children as a priority. Children want to spend time with both parents and this is especially true during the holidays. They also want to be a part of any family gatherings. Sometimes that is not always possible, but advanced planning may be able to achieve this goal. Often parents divide the entire winter break in half, with Christmas day being the “exchange day”. As an example, in odd numbered years such as 2015 perhaps Dad has the children from the day school ends until noon Christmas Day. Mom will pick up the kids and keep them until school begins again. Next year they can reverse the schedule. In some cultures, Christmas Eve is more of a celebration, so perhaps one parent can celebrate every Christmas Eve and the other Christmas Day. Also remember that “gift giving” is not a competition, with the winner being the parent who spends the most money. Oftentimes the finances of each parent may not be the same and one must buy gifts within his/her budget. For a parent to embarrass the other by purchasing a more expensive and lavish gift is only going to lead to hard feelings and potential problems. Hopefully, the parents can discuss this issue beforehand and plan together. Often parents wish to visit family out of town. Consider the feelings of your former spouse and the children in planning such a trip. Children have the need to be with extended family during the Holidays. Perhaps holiday trips out of town can be rotated from year to year between parents. Mom and Dad can certainly make the holiday season a joyous time for their children or they can focus on themselves and make it a time that everyone would like to forget.
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