What is the danger of comparing?

What is the

danger of comparing?

ď&#x20AC;&#x201A; Looking Deeper

 Looking Deeper What is the danger of comparing?

any of us can’t help but compare ourselves with the people we know. We look at the people around us, in our churches, workplaces and even amongst our closest friends and see lifestyles, looks, abilities, family and achievements that we long for. When we compare ourselves to them, don’t we sometimes feel like we’ve been short-changed by God? This is what Asaph was wrestling with when he wrote Psalm 73. We don’t know all the details of the trial he was going through; but it’s clear he felt betrayed by God. He saw people who made no room for God in their lives doing very well for themselves, and yet he, a follower of God, knew only suffering and hardship. No matter who we are comparing ourselves to, there are plenty of warnings to heed in Asaph’s prayerful journey—along with many more reasons to have hope.

The danger of comparing 1 Surely God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart. 2 But as for me, my feet had almost slipped; I had nearly lost my foothold. 3 For I envied the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked. 4 They have no struggles; their bodies are healthy and strong. 5 They are free from common human burdens; they are not plagued by human ills. 6 Therefore pride is their necklace; they clothe themselves with violence. 7 From their callous hearts comes iniquity; their evil imaginations have no limits. 8 They scoff, and speak with malice; with arrogance they threaten oppression. 9 Their mouths lay claim to heaven, and their tongues take possession of the earth. 10 Therefore their people turn to them and drink up waters in abundance. 11 They say, “How would God know? Does the Most High know anything?” 12 This is what the wicked are like— always free of care,they go on amassing wealth. 13 Surely in vain I have kept my heart pure and have washed my hands in innocence. 14 All day long I have been afflicted, and every morning brings new punishments. —Psalm 73:1-14 [2] WHAT IS THE DANGER OF COMPARING?

saph is describing something that’s probably very familiar. There will always be people around us (whether friends or not, Christians or non-Christians) who seem to be experiencing the kind of lives we’d love to have. We will all go through times of pain or “punishments”, whilst others we know seem to be just loving life. It’s very natural in those moments to look at the people we know and think, I wish my life looked like that . . . Asaph expected those who followed God to “live and multiply”, whilst those who rejected Him should “surely perish” (Deuteronomy 30:16,18 NKJV). But seeing people enjoying life, while also clearly ignoring God, threw His worldview into chaos. By envying their “prosperity” (Psalm 73:3) and lack of “struggles” (v.4), Asaph began to believe the lie that this world holds all that we could ever want. The importance of the spiritual and eternal was being replaced by the immediate, but temporary, promises of wealth, health and comfort (vv.3-5). This left him in a very dangerous place. He was ready to walk away from God: By comparing himself with others, Asaph was stumbling in his walk with God (vv.2-3). The people around him looked like they had “no struggles” (v.4) and could just do whatever they wanted (vv.6-9). It left him describing his own life as “afflicted”, with every day bringing “new punishments” (v.14). Ultimately, Asaph had stopped treasuring the one most important thing any of us can have: a safe, intimate relationship with our

THE DANGER OF COMPARING [3]

God. He had expected His obedience to God to result in a good, blessed life. Which led Asaph to become so distracted by his desire for peace and comfort that he viewed his relationship with God as “in vain” (v.13) because it hadn’t achieved those things. It wasn’t making his life fun and care-free, so what was the point in following God? That life only led to hard work and struggle. Surely abandoning God and just doing whatever he wanted would offer the sort of freedom and enjoyment he could see all around him? He stopped caring about the spiritual welfare of his community: Asaph even said that the people he was envying were “wicked” and didn’t give a second thought to God (v.3,11). Yet, because his focus was on their good health and lack of problems, he didn’t give much concern to their dangerous position Asaph’s problem before God. Here we see the distortion Asaph’s with the wicked envy had caused: his wasn’t that they problem with the wicked didn’t love or wasn’t that they didn’t love or honour God; his honour God; his problem was that they problem was that had better lives than him. His envy had stripped they had better him of the love and lives than him. compassion God calls us to have for all those who still don’t know Him. [4] WHAT IS THE DANGER OF COMPARING?

Ultimately, Asaph had forgotten the truth Their destiny and satisfaction of his is destruction, identity before God. He had forgotten that his their god is their relationship with God was stomach and the most important, and the only eternal, thing in his their glory is in life. Paul warns us against their shame. something similar when Their mind is set he describes those who reject God and therefore on earthly things. live as His enemies: “Their destiny is destruction, their But our citizenship god is their stomach and is in heaven. their glory is in their Philippians 3:19-20 shame. Their mind is set on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven” (Philippians 3:19-20). No matter what the appearance might be of a person’s life, the most important thing is their standing before their Creator. But, like Asaph, we can quickly forget that truth when making the most of here and now becomes more important. If we often find ourselves comparing, we might recognise these signs in our own lives. The question we’re left with is: how do we set our minds back on God when we have become distracted by earthly things, and by trying to become more like those who have them?

THE DANGER OF COMPARING [5]

What does Asaph do? 15 If I had spoken out like that, I would have betrayed your children. 16 When I tried to understand all this, it troubled me deeply 17 till I entered the sanctuary of God; then I understood their final destiny. —Psalm 73:15-17

saph was confused and hurting. The ‘comparison game’ was reeling him in and taking over. He felt unsteady and knew he was in a dangerous place. But he also knew he needed help. Despite his struggles with the unfairness of how his life was comparing, he made a wise choice. There seems to be at least two key reasons why Asaph brought his pain and his questions into the sanctuary of God. In the Old Testament “the sanctuary of God” was both a specific, holy place in the temple and also the idea of simply meeting with God. The sanctuary was all about taking time out to rest with God, spending quality time with Him in prayer and in reading His Word.

Asaph knew he couldn’t work through his feelings on his own (Psalm 73:16): Asaph simply couldn’t answer the question of why his life, devoted to God, was one of pain, while the lives of the godless were pleasurable. Trying to figure it out was just making him question the very nature and [6] WHAT IS THE DANGER OF COMPARING?

trustworthiness of God. He knew he was on the edge of quitting on God, and perhaps that was the wakeup call he needed to ask God to steer his thoughts in the right direction. He needed rest and peace, but he wasn’t finding any in chasing after earthly things. When we see a care-free person who has the looks, car and money we want, it’s easy to want to be just like them, especially if we’re just trudging through life, weighed down by the daily grind. Yet the answer to our burdens is not to get a different life, but to share them honestly with “our Saviour, who daily bears our burdens” (Psalm 68:19). When we step back from our conflicted fears and emotions and into His presence, we will find that, “You, God, are awesome in your sanctuary; the God of Israel gives power and strength to his people” (v.35). Asaph didn’t want to lead God’s people astray (Psalm 73:15): Deep down, Asaph knew that God was good (v.1). He knew he was missing something in his understanding, so he stayed silent while he was figuring it out. He didn’t want to betray God’s people by speaking his envy and doubts out loud (v.15). Asaph was one of King David’s chief musicians and a man of great spiritual influence. His role was to lead people to worship the very God he was now questioning deeply. He knew people looked up to him, so he didn’t want to lead anyone away from God by speaking out of his confusion. If even Asaph, a devoted leader of God’s people, could find himself blinded by the comfort and wealth

WHAT DOES ASAPH DO? [7]

the world offers, we definitely need to be on our guard. Whether we have trusted God for many years, or only a few days, we all struggle with the instinct to compare ourselves. We need to take on board the warning that not only does comparing damage our own relationship with God, but the change it creates in our attitude can also misdirect Christians who Not only does look up to us. However, we can also comparing take a huge encouragement from this story. Even damage our though Asaph, as one own relationship of Israelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s key worship with God, but the leaders, should have known better than to take change it creates his eyes off God, he was still welcomed to spend in our attitude time with God. There his can also misdirect relationship with his Lord was re-strengthened, Christians who despite the confusing and look up to us. disappointing time he was experiencing.

[8]â&#x20AC;ŻWHAT IS THE DANGER OF COMPARING?

New perspective 18 Surely you place them on slippery ground; you cast them down to ruin. 19 How suddenly are they destroyed, completely swept away by terrors! 20 They are like a dream when one awakes; when you arise, Lord, you will despise them as fantasies. 21 When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, 22 I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. 23 Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. 24 You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. 25 Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. 26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion for ever. 27 Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you. 28 But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds. —Psalm 73:18-28

NEW PERSPECTIVE [9]

saph’s new perspective on people: When Asaph turned his attention back to God, he realised the ungodly may look like they have everything they could possibly want, but the truth is they are on “slippery ground” (v.18). They are indeed in real danger of perishing, as warned in Deuteronomy 30:17-19. When others look to have better lives than us, Asaph’s prayer powerfully reminds us that appearances can be very deceptive. Asaph finally understood that he should have been viewing people based on their relationship with God. Compared to the reality of that final day when we all will give an account of ourselves to God, the temporary offers of this world are like a brief dream (Psalm 73:20). In fact, Asaph began to look at the people around him with concern rather than envy: “How suddenly are they destroyed, completely swept away by terrors!” (v.19). When we find ourselves drawn to compare our lives The world and with the earthly comforts its desires pass and successes enjoyed by away, but others, we have this important warning from John: “The world whoever does and its desires pass away, but the will of God whoever does the will of God lives for ever” (1 John 2:17). lives for ever. We need to remember that 1 John 2:17 there is only one thing that really matters: are we, and [10] WHAT IS THE DANGER OF COMPARING?

those we know, in God’s kingdom? This perspective calls us to see past lifestyles. Those who don’t know God—whether they are rich or poor, happy or sad, enviable or unlovable—need our prayers and witness. They are headed for judgement if they don’t accept the loving, saving hand of God extended in the Person of Jesus. What good As Jesus said, “What good will it be for someone to gain the whole will it be for world, yet forfeit their soul?” someone (Matthew 16:26). to gain the Asaph’s new perspective on himself: If you have ever watched whole world, a nature documentary, you’ll have yet forfeit heard the narrators describing the actions of animals as being driven their soul? by instinct, as opposed to rational Matthew 16:26 or logical thought. For example, a lioness is driven to hunt because of the irresistible urges of hunger. Asaph likens himself to this when he says he was “senseless and ignorant . . . [like] a brute beast” (Psalm 73:22). His focus on the world around him led him into a “senseless” life of instinctively chasing after whatever he wanted without control or awareness. His desires and longings had taken over. But Asaph found no satisfaction in wishing he had the stuff enjoyed by the people around him, only emptiness and bitterness. It made him question God’s goodness and character as he longed for other things above Him.

NEW PERSPECTIVE [11]

Having spent quality time with God, sharing the burdens of his comparisons, Asaph was finally able to say, “But as for me, it is good to be near God” (Psalm 73:28). He realised the ‘good life’ with God (Deuteronomy 30:16) isn’t measured in what we have, our lifestyle, our health or our social network. It is all about knowing God for ourselves and having the right to be near Him and know His saving strength for ourselves. What a turnaround from earlier in his prayer! Asaph realised he had been pushing away the most important thing: a right relationship with God as His child. Having focused back on the goodness and love of his heavenly Father, Asaph’s words and tone (Psalm 73:25-28) start to echo those of David’s in Psalm 27. There is only one thing worth treasuring: One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple. —Psalm 27:4 Asaph’s new perspective on God: As Asaph put his attention back on God, he remembered that God was always right there with him, holding his hand (Psalm 73:23). The reason for God’s continual presence clearly wasn’t because of Asaph’s shaky faith, but God’s unshakable faithfulness. Not even Asaph’s confusion could get in the way of God’s grace. Asaph knew he could keep hold of God’s counsel and [12] WHAT IS THE DANGER OF COMPARING?

guidance throughout his life, which would lead him safely to You guide heaven (v.24). The fresh realisation of me with your God’s love and faithfulness counsel, was enough to make Asaph and say: “earth has nothing I desire besides you” (v.25). What are afterwards the fading pleasures of wealth you will take and fame compared to the me into glory. unchanging, eternal love of God? Everything, including Psalm 73:24 Asaph’s body, would come to an end. But God, and His home, is eternal. That is why Asaph exclaimed, “God is . . . my portion for ever” (v.26). We will not get everything we want in this life. Not every dream will come true and some hard realities will have to be faced. But all the while God promises to be our strength and stay with us. We have His love and Holy Spirit within us and a promised place in His home. No matter what we must go through, or how our lives look, having Jesus is much more than anything else we could get.

NEW PERSPECTIVE [13]

What really matters

hether we have what we want or whether other people’s lives look better, the only safe way to live is with our eyes firmly on God. The most important thing is that we are His. Everything else will crumble and fade. On that final day, those who trust God will be welcomed into His home. Those who live for themselves will be “swept away by terrors” (Psalm 73:19). This gives us the viewpoint that really matters: where are the people we know headed? The mission: We are part of Jesus’ rescue mission to make His love and story known. The people around us, if they don’t know God, will lose all they have when they die. Nothing they achieved on earth will matter on that final day when Jesus says to them “I never knew you” (Matthew 7:23). It is with this urgent ‘final day perspective’ that we should view others. Looking at them with envy will only cloud this truth and distract us from our own walk with God . Agur had the right idea when he simply asked God for “my daily bread” (Proverbs 30:8). In other words: “just give me what I need”. Ultimately the treasures of this world can be just a distraction from God. If we have them, we easily forget we even need God; if we don’t have them, we desperately crave them, filling our minds with envy and bitterness. [14] WHAT IS THE DANGER OF COMPARING?

We might feel just like Asaph—surrounded by people enjoying life, while we struggle on. Complaining and growing bitter can feel justified, but we need to remember who is really in control. God has put each of us in a specific place, with specific people at a specific time. He hasn’t done this to punish us; He’s done it because there are groups and individuals in our communities who need our witness. We may not feel like we have much to offer—but if we can join with Asaph in saying, “earth has nothing I desire besides you . . . God is the strength of my heart and my portion for ever” (Psalm 73:25-26), then we have everything we need! Rather than envying, we can offer those outside the church the fulfilment they’ve been looking for; and we can encourage other Christians to keep God at the centre, despite all the distractions. Our one good comparison: Having this perspective doesn’t mean life will suddenly become easy; Asaph probably continued to struggle with envy, even after he talked it through with God. Yet God will walk with us and meet our needs every step of the way. He has also given us our one good point of comparison; not each other, but His Son. We don’t compare ourselves with Christ in the way we sometimes compare ourselves with others—trying to see who’s doing better. If we did that, looking at the perfect Son of God would be very disheartening. No, we focus our eyes on Christ because He is our reason for hope and He is the One the Holy Spirit is making us more like:

WHAT REALLY MATTERS [15]

Since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because whoever suffers in the body has finished with sin. As a result, [we] do not live the rest of [our] earthly lives for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God. —1 Peter 4:1-2 (emphasis added) Jesus shows us the perfect example of living “for the will of God”. He gave up His honour and glory in order to suffer and die for us. If we want to become like someone else, let it be the One who lived out perfect love and compassion to all, whether they were rich (Mark 10:17-22) or poor (vv.46-52), so that many might receive new life with God. Looking at all the things we don’t have in this life will only make us weary. Instead, let us walk with the One we do have, who is more than enough. As we continue to get to know Him and enjoy His presence, we will want to make Him known to the people around us, just as Asaph proclaimed: “I will tell of all your deeds” (Psalm 73:28). Let’s not strive only for the best we can get in this world, but, as Jesus our perfect example did, let’s seek out the hurting people who are also struggling and wishing their lives looked different. We have the only real, lasting hope to offer: the comfort and saving grace of God.