Help! My exams are stressing me out!

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OUT!

Our Daily Bread

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HELP!


GCSES


Revising for my GCSEs was rubbish. My sister is five years older than me. She’d got the

equivalent of 7s, 8s and 9s in the current grading system. And my mum was looking at me to do something similar. After one of the exams, she interrogated me on my performance. It had been a multiple-choice German test, so I had more idea of how well I’d done. “There were a few I had to just guess on. I reckon a 5 or 6 maybe.” “Only a 5 or 6,” she said with disappointment. Only?! Only a 5 or 6! I was happy with how it had gone. But it wasn’t good enough for my mum. My sister had got top marks in German. Now I was expected to get the same . . . These days my sister is fluent in German and Hebrew, and she’s very good at Arabic. I can remember the word for “burger” in German, because it’s the same. And I can count to three. So if you ever need to order three burgers in Germany, I’m your guy. Other than that, I’m stuck between English and bad English. I haven’t got an ear for languages. It’s just not my thing.


GCSES


But no matter what I liked, what subjects I was actually good at, what kind of fuzzy ideas I had about my future, I felt this horrible pressure to ‘perform’ at my GCSEs. It was more than wanting to do my best; I had been set a very high standard that I had to meet, or let my family down. It was super stressful. There are probably lots of other things that make us stressed in the build up to exams (like the pressure we put on ourselves, how we’ll compare with our friends, and just not feeling ready for them in the first place). Knuckling down to prepare for exams while the anxiety is cranking up is not much fun. It stops you from concentrating, upsets your sleep, makes you a grumpy friend and messes up just about every area of your life. But in all the stress of exams, I have discovered that the Bible has some really important, helpful stuff to say. The Bible reminds us who we should be listening to first of all, what really matters in our lives and who’s in control of where we’re headed.


SHOULD ?


Parents, teachers, friends, youth leaders . . . lots of people

have expectations of us. And that’s not a bad thing—it means they can help us step up, do the right thing and stay close to God. But they can make mistakes. Unlike God who truly knows what’s best for us, sometimes their view of what we should be achieving, including in our exams, can mean their demands aren’t always fair. We definitely shouldn’t approach our exams with only their words ringing in our ears. A songwriter in the Bible wrote this about God’s perfect knowledge of us:

O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up . . . You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord. (Psalm 139:1-4) He also wrote: “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed” (v.16). God knows us better than we know ourselves and he knows what’s best for us. Exams are important and our parents’ guidance is really vital—but none of it compares to what God says and promises. We don’t have to earn God’s love or work for his attention. We can simply trust him and know he is with us in everything. His promises to us are true every day, even when we’re stressed out. The Bible makes this one thing very clear: exam results don’t make us who we are. God makes us who we are—his children who will live with him forever.


REALLY


Jesus once asked: “What do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?” (Matthew 16:26). Passes or fails, and 7s, 8s or 9s, all kind of lose their meaning compared to whether we’re safe with God, or heading for his judgement because we don’t trust him. We could get the best GCSE grades, smash our college papers out of the park and get all the PHDs from university . . . and none of it would impress God. What matters is that we trust our lives to Jesus. He paid for all our mistakes and wrongs when he came to earth and died on the cross. And when he came back to life three days later, he did so with the offer of new life for everyone who trusts him. It’s a life of belonging to God, having his strength for every situation and of looking forward to a guaranteed welcome into heaven. And so, once we trust Jesus, we have this new approach to life:

Whatever you do [including your exams], whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. (Colossians 3:17)


REALLY


This means that our lives belong to Jesus and not just to us. He leads and we follow; rather than us deciding where we want to go and what we want to do, then asking Jesus to help make it happen. In terms of the exams you’ve got, it means you don’t actually do them for yourself or to get ahead in the world. And you don’t do them for your mum’s peace of mind or to beat your sister’s marks or to get grandma (who wants you to be a doctor just like grandpa was) off your back. You do them for Jesus, who is with you every step of the way and is pleased with you no matter what you come out with. Doing our exams for Jesus means doing our very best and working hard, but it also means trusting the results, and whatever comes after them, to him. He takes the pressure and stress of performing away. Exams are useful, but not the be-all of our existence. They might decide some things about our future and the opportunities we may have, but they do not decide our ultimate future, our happiness or our purpose on this earth. God is the only one really in control of it all. And he holds our hands through each question, every result we open and any resits we take.


WHO’S IN


The one person who won’t be even slightly surprised or disappointed by our exam results is God. He already knows them (even before we sit the exam; even before the questions are written!). God once said to his people (in the Old Testament part of the Bible):

“I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11) This promise may not have been made to us, but we can still learn from it about how God leads anyone who belongs to him. When God made this promise to his people, it was during a pretty rough time. They were stuck in another country as prisoners and slaves. And they would be there for seventy years! . . . Yet God told them his plans were “for good and not for disaster”. The point is that even when things are hard, even if you fail every exam, God is still the same. He is still the God who gives his people “a future and a hope”. For us, that future and hope is about Jesus being with us in everything—all the way to heaven. When we trust him, nothing can get in the way of what he is doing in our lives and where he is leading us. Not even bad marks, resits, our friends laughing at us or our parents’ disappointment.


WHO’S IN


We also need to remember that if God is leading us and it’s his plan that matters, then our lives are not ours to sort out on our own. I’ve seen lots of exam-based posts showing photos of really rich and successful people, with tags reading something like: “I got no GCSEs and dropped out of school. Look at me now. Make your own path.” It’s inspiring stuff. But it’s not the perspective the Bible wants us to have. We’re not here to get rich and famous. That isn’t the ‘success’ God is concerned about. His priority is that we know and trust him for ourselves, letting him use and fulfil our potential in his ways for his good purposes. We’re not walking our road, but God’s—even if he takes us to places, jobs and lifestyles we never expected. Not everything on this road will always make sense—maybe including our exam results. I chose Business Studies as one of my subjects at AS level in college. I thought it would be useful. I worked hard, but came out with a U grade. That was pretty rough, especially as I thought I’d done OK in class. So I did a resit. I came out with a D. I don’t know why, and it felt like a massive waste of time and energy. But I do know that it wasn’t up to me to make my own path, justify the result or make up for it. I decided not to do more resits but simply said to God, “I guess this means I’m not going to be a businessman.” I’d done my best, and what happened next was in his hands. The resit was stressful and I didn’t enjoy telling people my result. But I was more able to handle it all because I was focused on God, rather than what my friends or parents thought, and I knew his plan for me was still going full steam ahead.


EXAM


I want to finish with some exam tips. But they are not about how to write an exam answer or use memory tricks to keep everything in your head. I want to give some practical pointers, using the things we’ve already thought about, for keeping God at the centre of your exams. Talk to him about them regularly: When we’re revising for exams, our time is valuable. But actually putting aside time with God each day is well worth it. Talking to him about the exams we’re working towards, the stress we feel and the pressure we’re under means sharing the weight of it all with him. And he promises to give us peace when we do this. A lot of our anxiety can be calmed when we focus on God and his unchanging love and promises. And that will be a great help when we then try to concentrate on our studies. Have someone to talk with: The Bible tells us to share our struggles. We don’t need to hide exam stress or pretend everything’s fine. Who could you share your stress with? Make sure it’s someone who won’t pressure you, but who will pray for you and help encourage you through the exam season. Maybe it’s worth asking your youth worker or someone else at church to look out for you during this time.


Keep God’s priorities at the centre: God wants us to do our best. But he also wants us to make sure we’re examples of his love and welcome. If our stress makes us grouchy and snappy, what does that show people about the God we say we love? It’s important that even in these hard times we can still show that we live for a God who loves us, gives us peace and is our security. If these things can show, even when we’re stressed, it will make a powerful impact on our friends and family about how big the difference is that he makes to our every day. And that is God’s first priority: giving people the chance to see him and also become part of his family forever. Remember that not everyone suits exams: Einstein said, “If all the animals were judged by their ability to climb a tree, the fish would go through life thinking he’s an idiot.” Exam writing and exam technique simply suit some people better than others. If you struggle with exams, it doesn’t mean you are less intelligent or valuable than anyone else. If you know you don’t naturally click with exams, it might be a good idea to get extra help and input. But exams are not the only (or the most important) measurement we can apply to ourselves. Jesus showed your real worth when he chose to die for you! Open any results with people you trust: If opening your results makes you feel physically sick, then have a plan for it. If you have a mentor at church, why not open the results with them, so they can pray with you and offer support and perspective if you don’t get what you hoped for.


Don’t think the world has ended if the results aren’t what you wanted: Jesus promised us: “Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). Some of the trials and pain we’ve got to go through may well involve our exam results. But they are not the end of our story. Jesus has overcome the world and every problem we face in it. And so, even a bad exam result can be used by God for good somehow. Maybe it will teach us kindness and love for others who are struggling; maybe it will help guide us to the job God wants us to have. Whatever happens, God has the last word. Going through your exams with God will not get rid of the stress completely, but it will help you keep everything in its place. I hope any exams you’re taking go really, really well. But whatever happens, remember:

Nothing can ever separate us from God’s love [including exam results]. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. (Romans 8:38) Check out more stuff like this at ourdailybread.org/ukyouth


O LORD, YOU HAVE EXAMINED MY HEART AND KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT ME. YOU KNOW WHEN I SIT DOWN OR STAND UP . . . YOU KNOW WHAT I AM GOING TO SAY EVEN BEFORE I SAY IT, LORD. (PSALM 139:1-4) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved. © 2019 by Our Daily Bread Ministries. All rights reserved.

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