Comfort for Times of Loss

Comfort forTimes of Loss

Reflections From

brokenhearted THE LORD IS CLOSE TO THE AND SAVES THOSE WHO ARE CRUSHED

IN SPIRIT.

PSALM

34:18 NIV

Comfort forTimes of Loss

When life takes what matters most, where do we turn? Our losses bring a swirl of emotions—pain, agony, anger, regret. Huge questions loom over us and go unanswered. We long for genuine comfort.

Grief can be disorienting. But we don’t need to be alarmed when things don’t make sense, or our minds just go round in circles. The process of grieving is far from straightforward. It’s messy and, at times, it may feel like you’re losing your mind. You’re not. There is no standard pattern for grief.

But there is real comfort and hope to be found in God’s Word, even in our darkest seasons. “The Bible was written in tears,” said A. W. Tozer, “and to tears it will reveal its best treasures.” Comfort is found in the hand of the One who walks with us through the darkest valley (PSALM 23:4). The One who has been through, and defeated, death promises to draw close to our broken hearts (PSALM 34:18) to comfort us in our mourning.

Grief is a difficult, confusing and draining journey we all must take when we lose loved ones. But the message of the readings and prayers in this booklet is that it is not a journey we need take alone.

We pray you will draw close to Jesus during this season; the One who has come to “bind up the broken-hearted” (ISAIAH 61:1).

Your friends at Our Daily Bread Ministries

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

PSALM 23:4

7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? 8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, 10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. 11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” 12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.

Everywhere and Nowhere

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? [ PSALM 139:7 ]

Afamily friend who, like us, lost a teenager in a car accident wrote a tribute to her daughter, Lindsay, in the local paper. One of the most powerful images in her essay was this: after mentioning the many pictures and remembrances of Lindsay she had put around their house, she wrote, “She is everywhere, but nowhere.”

Although our daughters still smile back at us from their photos, the spirited personalities that lit up those smiles are nowhere to be found. They are everywhere—in our hearts, in our thoughts, in all those photos—but nowhere.

But Scripture tells us that, in Christ, Lindsay and Melissa are not really nowhere. They are in Jesus’ presence, “with the Lord” (2 CORINTHIANS 5:8). They are with the One who, in one sense, is nowhere but everywhere. After all, we don’t see God in a physical form. We certainly don’t have smiling pictures of Him on our mantel. In fact, if you look around your house, you may think He is nowhere. But just the opposite is true. He is everywhere!

Wherever we go on this earth, God is there. He’s there to guide, strengthen and comfort us. We cannot go where He is not. We don’t see Him, but He’s everywhere. In each trial we face, that’s incredibly good news.

DAVE BRANON

PRAY: Dear God, You know how much I miss my loved one. Thank You for being here now; please help me to experience Your wonderful nearness.

Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.

Matthew 28:20

Meeting God in Your Grief

He is with you. God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (HEBREWS 13:5).

He knows who you are and what you need. “You created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (PSALM 139:13–14).

He understands what you feel. “We do not have a high priest who is unable to feel sympathy for our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin”

(HEBREWS 4:15).

He has strength for your weakness. “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 CORINTHIANS 12:9).

He loves you beyond measure. “As high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him” (PSALM 103:11).

32 They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Sit here while I pray.’ 33 He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. 34 ‘My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,’ he said to them. ‘Stay here and keep watch.’

35 Going a little further, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. 36 ‘Abba, Father,’ he said, ‘everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.’

37 Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. ‘Simon,’ he said to Peter, ‘are you asleep? Couldn’t you keep watch for one hour? 38 Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.’

39 Once more he went away and prayed the same thing. 40 When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. They did not know what to say to him.

41 Returning the third time, he said to them, ‘Are you still sleeping and resting? Enough! The hour has come. Look, the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. 42 Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!’

Does od Care?

My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. [ MARK 14:34 ]

One dreadful year, three of my friends died in quick succession. My experience of the first two deaths did nothing to prepare me for the third. I could do little but cry. I find it strangely comforting that when Jesus faced pain, He responded much as I do. It comforts me that He cried when His friend Lazarus died (JOHN 11:32–36). That gives a startling clue into how God must have felt about my friends, whom He also loved. And in the garden the night before His crucifixion, Jesus did not pray, “Oh, Lord, I am so grateful that You have chosen Me to suffer on Your behalf.” No, He experienced sorrow, fear, abandonment, even desperation. Hebrews tells us that Jesus appealed with “fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death” (HEBREWS 5:7). But He was not saved from death.

Is it too much to say that Jesus Himself asked the question that haunts us: does God care? What else can be the meaning of His quotation from that dark psalm: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (PSALM 22:1; MARK 15:34).

Jesus endured in His pain because He knew that His Father is a God of love who can be trusted regardless of how things appear to be. He demonstrated faith that the ultimate answer to the question “Does God care?” is a resounding Yes! PHILIP YANCEY

PRAY: Dear God, thank You for caring about me and everything I go through. Help me to keep trusting You for the journey ahead.

Psalm 116:5

The Lord is gracious and righteous; our od is full of compassion.

A Prayer for Those Who Need to Experience God’s Compassion

Heavenly Father, how I need to know Your love at this time. Hold me in Your arms as the tears flow; whisper the hope of Your Word into my heart as it aches. My world is broken in loss, swirling with sorrow and uncertainty. I honestly have no idea what I need to survive each moment; but I know I want to feel You close. Lord, bless me with Your unfailing compassions. Bind up my broken heart, just as You promise to, and draw close to me.

Carry me close to Your heart; help me know that You are still the Lord, I am still Your precious child and my hope is safe in You. I cannot walk the path of grief alone. I cannot even take one step. Even in this, Jesus is my Way, my Truth and my Life.

Draw close and shelter me in Your love, O Lord my God. Amen

1 I will exalt you, Lord, for you lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me. 2 Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me. 3 You, Lord, brought me up from the realm of the dead; you spared me from going down to the pit.

4 Sing the praises of the Lord, you his faithful people; praise his holy name. 5 For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favour lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.

6 When I felt secure, I said, ‘I shall never be shaken.’

7 Lord, when you favoured me, you made my royal mountain stand firm; but when you hid your face, I was dismayed.

8 To you, Lord, I called; to the Lord I cried for mercy: 9 ‘What is gained if I am silenced, if I go down to the pit? Will the dust praise you? Will it proclaim your faithfulness? 10 Hear, Lord, and be merciful to me; Lord, be my help.’

11 You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, 12 that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. Lord my God, I will praise you for ever.

Tears of Praise

Sing the praises of the Lord, you his faithful people; praise his holy name. [ PSALM 30:4 ]

Years ago, I cared for my mum as she was in hospice. I thanked God for the four months He allowed me to serve as her carer and asked Him to help me through the grieving process. I often struggled to praise God as I wrestled with my mixed emotions. But as my mum breathed her last breath and I wept uncontrollably, I whispered, “Hallelujah.” I felt guilty for praising God in that devastating moment until, years later, I took a closer look at Psalm 30.

In David’s song “for the dedication of the temple,” he worshipped God for His faithfulness and mercy (VV. 1–3). He encouraged others to “praise his holy name” (V. 4). Then David explored how intimately God entwines hardship and hope (V. 5). He acknowledged times of grief and rejoicing, times of feeling secure and being dismayed (VV. 6–7). His cries for help remained laced with confidence in God (VV. 7–10). The echo of his praise wove through David’s moments of wailing and dancing, grief and joy (V. 11). As if acknowledging the mystery and complexity of enduring affliction and anticipating God’s faithfulness, David proclaimed his endless devotion to God (V. 12).

Like David, we can sing, “Lord my God, I will praise you forever” (V. 12). Whether we’re happy or hurting, God can help us declare our trust in Him and lead us to worship Him with joyful shouts and tears of praise. XOCHITL

PRAY: Dear God, please help me trust You and praise You as I process my emotions.

DIXON

Lord my od, I will praise you forever.

Psalm 30:12

5 Verses of Hope in Grief

1 We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. PSALM 33:20–21

2 The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. PSALM 34:18

3 Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his faithful servants. PSALM 116:15

4 Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. HEBREWS 10:23

5 Through [Jesus] you believe in God, who raised him from the dead and glorified him, and so your faith and hope are in God. 1 PETER 1:21

13 Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.

14 For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. 15 According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. 16 For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord for ever. 18 Therefore encourage one another with these words.

Hope in rief

I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling-place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them.”

[

REVELATION

21:3 ]

As the taxi driver drove us to London’s Heathrow Airport, he told us his story. He had come alone to the United Kingdom at fifteen, seeking to escape war and deprivation. Now, eleven years later, he has a family of his own and is able to provide for them in ways unavailable in his native land. But he laments that he’s still separated from his parents and siblings. He told us that he has had a hard journey that won’t be complete until he’s reunited with his family.

Being separated from our loved ones in this life is hard, but losing a loved one in death is much harder and creates a sense of loss that won’t be made right until we’re reunited with them. When the new believers at Thessalonica wondered about such losses, Paul wrote, “Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope”

(1 THESSALONIANS 4:13). He explained that as believers in Jesus, we can live in expectation of a wonderful reunion—together forever in the presence of Christ (V. 17).

Few experiences mark us as deeply as the separations we endure, but in Jesus we have hope of being reunited. And in the midst of grief and loss we can find the comfort we need in that enduring promise (V. 18).

BILL CROWDER

PRAY: Father, there’s nothing on earth that can fill the places in my heart made empty through loss. Draw me to You and comfort me with Your love and grace.

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death.

Revelation 21:4

5 Promises that Jesus Has Defeated Death

1 We know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God. ROMANS 6:9–10

2 The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you.

3

1 CORINTHIANS

15:55–58

Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might break the power of him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil—and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death. HEBREWS 2:14–15

4 It has now been revealed through the appearing of our Saviour, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel.

2 TIMOTHY 1:10

5

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death. REVELATION 21:4

44 It was now about noon, and darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon, 45 for the sun stopped shining. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two. 46 Jesus called out with a loud voice, ‘Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.’ When he had said this, he breathed his last.

A lossary for rief

Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” [ LUKE 23:46 ]

When Hugh and DeeDee released their only child to heaven, they struggled with what to call themselves in the aftermath. There is no specific word in the English language to describe a parent who has lost a child. A wife without her husband is a widow. A husband without his wife is a widower. A child bereft of parents is an orphan. A parent whose child has died is an undefined hollow of hurt.

Miscarriage. Sudden infant death. Suicide. Illness. Accident. Death steals a child from this world and then robs the surviving parents of an expressed identity.

Yet God Himself understands such devastating grief as His only Son, Jesus, called to Him while dying on the cross, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit” (LUKE 23:46). God was Father before Jesus’ earthly birth and remained Father when Jesus released His final breath. God continued as Father when the still body of His Son was laid in a tomb. God lives on today as Father of a risen Son who brings every parent the hope that a child can live again.

What do you call a heavenly Father who sacrifices His Son for the universe? For you and for me? Father. Still, Father. When there are no words in the glossary of grief to describe the pain of loss, God is our Father and calls us His children (1 JOHN 3:1).

ELISA MORGAN

PRAY: Dear heavenly Father, thank You for being my Father and claiming me as Your child.

Psalm 103:13

As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him.

Drawing Near to Our Father in Heaven

In Matthew 6, Jesus taught His followers, “This, then, is how you should pray: ‘Our Father in heaven . . .’”

OUR: Grief often makes us feel so isolated. People around us keep on working, shopping, chatting and laughing. The earth continues to spin, oblivious to the fact that our world has come to a shuddering halt. How can life continue without our loved one?

In Jesus’ prayer model, He didn’t just tell us to pray to “my Father”, but “our Father”. No matter where we are or how we feel, this one word reminds us that we are never truly alone. We are bound by God’s Spirit to His family; our sorrow and loss do not change this.

FATHER: Think of all the ways God could have told us to address Him: Almighty God, The Commander of Heaven’s Armies, Ancient of Days . . . All of these are true, but they are not the primary relationship God has with us. “Father.” What a beautiful word. Even if we have had poor or zero experience of earthly fathers, our almighty King is entirely different. He is our heavenly Father. That means we are not His subjects, but His children. As a good Father, He longs for us to bring every burden, confusion, pain and sorrow to Him. He will carry it with us, speaking comfort and strength into our hearts.

IN HEAVEN: It is one thing to have a good Father, it is another for Him to rule the seen and unseen universe from His throne in heaven. Today may be a hard day. Tomorrow might be the same. There is no straight line through grief. But the One who watches us and holds our hand is the true power over the world. When the crashing waves of loss threaten to sink us for good, our Father will hold us. He will be our shelter. He will be present. He will bring us through even the darkest moments. For He alone sits on the throne; nothing can undo His Word or His power. We are safe within the fortress of His love.

11 But Naomi said, ‘Return home, my daughters. Why would you come with me? Am I going to have any more sons, who could become your husbands? 12 Return home, my daughters; I am too old to have another husband. Even if I thought there was still hope for me—even if I had a husband tonight and then gave birth to sons— 13 would you wait until they grew up? Would you remain unmarried for them? No, my daughters. It is more bitter for me than for you, because the Lord’s hand has turned against me!’

14 At this they wept aloud again. Then Orpah kissed her mother-in-law goodbye, but Ruth clung to her.

15 ‘Look,’ said Naomi, ‘your sister-in-law is going back to her people and her gods. Go back with her.’

16 But Ruth replied, ‘Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. 17 Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.’ 18 When Naomi realised that Ruth was determined to go with her, she stopped urging her.

19 So the two women went on until they came to Bethlehem. When they arrived in Bethlehem, the whole town was stirred because of them, and the women exclaimed, ‘Can this be Naomi?’

Love and Lean on od

Ruth clung to her.

[ RUTH 1:14 ]

Zach was funny, smart and well-liked. But he secretly struggled with depression. After he committed suicide at fifteen, his mum, Lori, said of him, “It’s just hard to comprehend how someone that had so much going for him would come to that point. Zach . . . was not exempt from suicide.” There are moments in the quiet when Lori pours out her sorrow to God. She says that the deep sadness after suicide is “a whole different level of grief.” Yet she and her family have learned to lean on God and others for strength, and now they’re using their time to love others who are grappling with depression.

Lori’s motto has become “Love and lean.” This idea is also seen in the Old Testament story of Ruth. Naomi lost her husband and two sons—one who was married to Ruth (RUTH 1:3–5). Naomi, bitter and depressed, urged Ruth to return to her mother’s family where she could be cared for. Ruth, though also grieving, “clung” to her mother-in-law and committed to staying with her and caring for her (VV. 14–17). They returned to Bethlehem, Naomi’s homeland, where Ruth would be a foreigner. But they had each other to love and lean on, and God provided for them (2:11–12). During our times of grief, God’s love remains steady. We always have Him to lean on as we also lean on and love others in His strength.

ANNE CETAS

PRAY: Father, I’m grateful for Your faithful love and care for me. Use me to encourage others to trust You.

ive thanks to the od of heaven. His love endures forever.

Psalm 136:26

3 Ways to Lean on God in Heartache

1 Find a quiet place to be alone with Him: “When you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen”

(MATTHEW 6:6).

2 Trust the Holy Spirit to speak for you when you don’t know what to say: “The Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God”

(ROMANS 8:26–27).

3 Trust God to hold your hand, as He promises: “I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you” (ISAIAH 41:13).

3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, 5 who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6 In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honour when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9 for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

Hope in Suffering

In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. [ 1

PETER

1:6 ]

When I opened my Bible to read Jeremiah 1-4, the subheading ascribed to the book startled me: “Hope in Time of Weeping”. I almost cried. The timing was perfect, as I was walking through a season of weeping over the death of my mum.

I felt much the same way after hearing my pastor’s sermon the day before. The title was “Joy in Suffering”, taken from 1 Peter 1:3–9. He gave us an illustration from his own life: the one-year anniversary of his father’s death. The sermon was meaningful for many, but for me it was a gift from God. These and other events were indications backed up by His Word that God would not leave me alone in my grief. Even though the way of sorrow is hard, God sends reminders of His enduring presence. To the Israelites expelled from the Promised Land due to disobedience, God made His presence known by sending prophets like Jeremiah to offer them hope— hope for reconciliation through repentance. And to those He leads through times of testing, He shows His presence through a community of believers who “love one another deeply”

(1 PETER 1:22). These indications of God’s presence during trials on earth affirm God’s promise of the living hope awaiting us at the resurrection.

JULIE ACKERMAN LINK

PRAY: Dear Jesus, thank You for being my hope in suffering and sorrow. I know You will give me the love and grace I need to keep trusting in You.

I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die.

John 11:25

A Prayer for Those Who Need Hope

Sovereign Lord, death was never meant to be a part of the world You created. It feels like the ruler who continually robs us of those we love. In my grief, I lift my eyes to Jesus. He alone sits on the throne; He has defeated sin and death; His resurrection is the victory and promise for all His people. Though I am in mourning, may I also have a heart full of hope—for death has no real power over those who trust in You; death simply opens the door for us to enter Your home. Thank You, Lord, that You stand waiting to wipe every tear from my eyes. Amen

1 Now when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him,

2 and he began to teach them. He said:

3 ‘Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

5 Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

7 Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

8 Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

11 ‘Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.

12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Blessing in the Tears

Blessed are those who mourn.

[ MATTHEW 5:4 ]

Ireceived an email from a young man who explained that his father (only sixty-three) was in the hospital in critical condition, hanging on to life. Though we’d never met, his dad’s work and mine shared many intersections. The son, trying to cheer his father, asked me to send a video message of encouragement and prayer. Deeply moved, I recorded a short message and a prayer for healing. I was told that his dad watched the video and gave a hearty thumbs-up. Sadly, a couple days later, I received another email telling me that he had died. He held his wife’s hand as he took his final breath.

My heart broke. Such love, such devastation. The family lost a husband and father far too soon. Yet it’s surprising to hear Jesus in-sist that it’s precisely these grieving ones who are blessed: “Blessed are those who mourn,” Jesus says (MATTHEW 5:4). Jesus isn’t saying suffering and sorrow are good, but rather that God’s mercy and kindness pour over those who need it most. Those overcome by grief due to death or even their own sinfulness are most in need of God’s attention and consolation—and Jesus promises us “they will be comforted” (V. 4).

God steps towards us, His loved children (V. 9). He blesses us in our tears.

WINN COLLIER

PRAY: Dear God, I am awash in grief and sorrow. Please help me to experience Your blessing even in the tears.

May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant.

Psalm 119:76

3 Reasons to Keep a Prayer Diary While You Grieve

1

It’s a place to pour out your emotions: Think for a moment about how raw and honest many of the psalms are in the Bible. These prayers and songs were written expressions of what was really going on in the author’s heart. “How long, Lord? Will you forget me for ever?” cries the first line of Psalm 13. We can ask questions, get angry or weep in sorrow—it is when we pour out our hearts to God that we follow the psalmist’s footsteps into deeper intimacy: “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation” (V. 5). The Lord hears our honest cries and comes close to bind our broken hearts.

2

It keeps a record of God’s faithfulness: A prayer diary is not just a great place to write, but to read. As we look back over our prayers and praise, we will see how the story of God’s faithfulness is woven into our lives. “Great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies,” writes the psalmist (PSALM 57:10). God will only ever prove His faithfulness—it is impossible for Him to do anything else. As we honestly write our prayer diary through grief, a window will be opened for us to see His hand at work.

3

It can deepen your walk with God: As we open our hearts to Him and keep a record of His Word and works, we will find ourselves drawing ever closer to the comfort, love and peace of our heavenly Father. After all, “The Lord is close to the broken-hearted” (PSALM 34:18). A prayer diary can be a simple way to experience this profound truth for ourselves.

1 Lord, hear my prayer, listen to my cry for mercy; in your faithfulness and righteousness come to my relief. 2 Do not bring your servant into judgment, for no one living is righteous before you. 3 The enemy pursues me, he crushes me to the ground; he makes me dwell in the darkness like those long dead. 4 So my spirit grows faint within me; my heart within me is dismayed. 5 I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done. 6 I spread out my hands to you; I thirst for you like a parched land.

7 Answer me quickly, Lord; my spirit fails. Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit. 8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life. 9 Rescue me from my enemies, Lord, for I hide myself in you. 10 Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground.

11 For your name’s sake, Lord, preserve my life; in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble. 12 In your unfailing love, silence my enemies; destroy all my foes, for I am your servant.

Dark Moments, Deep Prayers

Lord, preserve my life; in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble. [ PSALM 143:11 ]

“Ihad a dark moment.” Those five words capture the internal agony of a popular female celebrity during the COVID-19 pandemic. Adjusting to a new normal was part of her challenge, and in her turmoil, she acknowledged that she wrestled with thoughts of suicide. Pulling out of the downward spiral included sharing her struggle with a friend who cared.

We’re all susceptible to tumultuous hours, days and seasons. Valleys and hard places aren’t foreign, but getting out of such places can be challenging. And seeking the assistance of mental health professionals is sometimes needed.

In Psalm 143, we hear and are instructed by David’s prayer during one of the dark times of his life. The exact situation is unknown, but his prayers to God are honest and hope-filled. “The enemy pursues me, he crushes me to the ground; he makes me dwell in the darkness like those long dead. So my spirit grows faint within me; my heart within me is dismayed” (VV. 3–4). For believers in Jesus, it’s not enough to acknowledge what’s going on within us to ourselves, to our friends or to medical specialists. We must also earnestly come to God (thoughts and all) with prayers that include the earnest petitions found in Psalm 143:7–10. Our dark moments can also be times for deep prayers—seeking the light and life only God can bring.

ARTHUR JACKSON

PRAY: Father, please renew my strength and hope in You. When dark moments invade my life internally or externally and bring me low, help me to come to You in prayer.

Come near to od and he will come near to you.

James 4:8

6 Encouragements to Seek God in Prayer

1 Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always. 1 CHRONICLES 16:11

2 I call on you, my God, for you will answer me; turn your ear to me and hear my prayer.

PSALM 17:6

3 He will respond to the prayer of the destitute; he will not despise their plea. Psalm 102:17

4 The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. PSALM 145:18

5 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. PHILIPPIANS 4:6–7

6

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 THESSALONIANS 5:16–18

3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,

4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 5 For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. 6 If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer.

7 And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

A Life Remembered

God . . . comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble.

[ 2 CORINTHIANS 1:3-4 ]

“Daddy, help me.” Those were the last words Dianne and Gary Cronin heard their daughter say as she struggled to breathe. Kristin, aged fourteen, died suddenly—just two days after saying she didn’t feel well. A strep infection attacked her body on Thursday. By Saturday, she was pleading with her daddy to help her.

Before Kristin died, I was scheduled to speak at her family’s church. In God’s timing, I stood before the congregation the day after her funeral.

Kristin was one of those vivacious teens who loved Jesus and lived for Him—and whose sudden death leaves us with a million questions. Because I went through a similar loss of my own teenage daughter, I was able to offer some small comfort to this stunned and grieving church. First, I said, we must recognise God’s sovereignty. Kristin’s life was the exact length God intended (PSALM 139:16). Second, I asked the church never to forget her family. Whether it’s two months or five years later, the family will never ‘get over’ losing Kristin. They will never stop needing Christians who care and remember.

In times like this, don’t forget that God is in control and that He wants us to be a comfort to others.

DAVE BRANON

PRAY: Father, please comfort me today with You loving presence.

Praise be to the od and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the od of all comfort.

2 Corinthians 1:3

5 Verses about God’s Comfort

1 He is our God and we are the people of his pasture, the flock under his care. PSALM 95:7

2 My comfort in my suffering is this: your promise preserves my life. PSALM 119:50

3 As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you. ISAIAH 66:13

4 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles. 2 CORINTHIANS 1:3–4

5 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 PETER 5:7

1 As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. 2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? 3 My tears have been my food day and night, while people say to me all day long, ‘Where is your God?’ 4 These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go to the house of God under the protection of the Mighty One with shouts of joy and praise among the festive throng.

5 Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Saviour and my God.

6 My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you from the land of the Jordan, the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar. 7 Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me.

8 By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me—a prayer to the God of my life.

9 I say to God my Rock, ‘Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?’ 10 My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me, saying to me all day long, ‘Where is your God?’

11 Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Saviour and my God.

Faith and Doubt

Why, my soul, are you downcast? . . . Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him.

[ PSALM 42:11 ]

When my close friend Sharon was killed in a car accident, my heart broke. Life’s circumstances hurt so much that my faith was often mixed with doubt. I cried out to God with these questions:

Lord, I don’t understand You. Why did You allow this death?

“Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God. . . . He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom” (ISAIAH 40:28). “‘My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord.” (ISAIAH 55:8).

Lord, You are beyond my understanding. But I still wonder, have You turned Your back on the world?

“God reigns over the nations; God is seated on his holy throne” (PSALM 47:8) and “he rules for ever by his power” (66:7).

Lord, I do believe You are ruling this world, but do You care about the pain? Have You forgotten to be good?

I am “forgiving and good” (PSALM 86:5).

Yes, Lord, You have been good to me in countless ways, including listening to my doubts and questions about You.

The answers God gives us in His Word may not take away our sadness, but we can always rest in the truth that He is wise, sovereign and good.

ANNE CETAS

PRAY: Lord, my season of grief has left me with so many questions; yet I choose to place my trust in Your good and loving character.

Put your hope in od, for I will yet praise him.

Psalm 42:11

6 Verses to Reflect on when You Are Weighed Down with Questions

1 Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. PSALM 27:14

2 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

PROVERBS 3:5–6

3 As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. ISAIAH 55:9

4 We live by faith, not by sight.

2 CORINTHIANS 5:7

5 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. HEBREWS 11:1

6 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. JAMES 1:5

30 Now Jesus had not yet entered the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met him. 31 When the Jews who had been with Mary in the house, comforting her, noticed how quickly she got up and went out, they followed her, supposing she was going to the tomb to mourn there.

32 When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, ‘Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.’

33 When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. 34 ‘Where have you laid him?’ he asked.

‘Come and see, Lord,’ they replied. 35 Jesus wept.

36 Then the Jews said, ‘See how he loved him!’

A Time to Cry

Jesus wept. [ JOHN 11:35 ]

Dad had been battling a debilitating disease for years. As I knelt by his bed and watched him take that last breath, the tears I had choked back came like a flood. I hadn’t sobbed like that since I was a young boy. As my brothers and my mother and I hugged and prayed, the finality was overwhelming. That event helped me appreciate the significance of this brief verse: “Then Jesus wept” (JOHN 11:35). It is such an incredible statement—the Son of God wept! He knew better than anyone in the world about the reality of heaven. He was the source of all hope in a future resurrection. And yet Jesus cried! He loved His friends Mary and Martha and Lazarus so much that when he went to Lazarus’ tomb “he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled” (V. 33). Jesus truly felt their heartache.

When someone we love dies, we struggle with a wide range of emotions. We may question the wisdom or the goodness of God. When death comes after long-term suffering, we struggle to understand why the Lord waited so long to bring relief. We begin to think of God as distant, untouched by our sorrow. We ask, “Why?”

Then we read again, “Jesus wept.” Those words reassure us that God isn’t far away. He’s deeply touched by our anguish. When death invades our lives, remember: Jesus shed tears too.

KURT DEHAAN

PRAY: Heavenly Father, be close to me when my tears flow. Thank You that they matter to You.

Psalm 116:15

Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his faithful servants.

5 Verses about the Resurrection

1 Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. JOHN 14:1–3

2 Listen, I tell you a mystery: we will not all sleep, but we will all be changed—in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality.

1 CORINTHIANS 15:51–53

3 Our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Saviour from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.

PHILIPPIANS 3:20–21

4 We believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. 1

THESSALONIANS 4:14

5 I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling-place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” REVELATION 21:3–4

1 How long, Lord? Will you forget me for ever? How long will you hide your face from me? 2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?

3 Look on me and answer, Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death, 4 and my enemy will say, ‘I have overcome him,’ and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

5 But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. 6 I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me.

Powerful Baby

How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? . . . But I trust in your unfailing love. [ PSALM 13:1, 5 ]

The first time I saw him, I cried. He looked like a perfect newborn asleep in his crib. But we knew he would never wake up. Not until he was in the arms of Jesus.

He clung to life for several months. Then his mother told us of his death in a heart-wrenching email. She wrote of “that deep, deep pain that groans inside you.” Then she said, “How deeply God carved His work of love into our hearts through that little life! What a powerful life it was!”

Powerful? How could she say that?

This family’s precious little boy showed them—and us—that we must depend on God for everything. Especially when things go horribly wrong! The hard yet comforting truth is that God meets us in our pain. He knows the grief of losing a Son.

In our deepest pain, we turn to the songs of David because he writes out of his own grief. “How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart?” he asked (PSALM 13:2). “Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death” (V. 3). Yet David could give his biggest questions to God. “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation” (V. 5). Only God can bring ultimate significance to our most tragic events.

TIM GUSTAFSON

PRAY: Dear God, even in my loss, I choose trust in Your unfailing love. Thank You for being close to me in my heartache.

I trust in your unfailing love.

PSALM 13:5

1

3 Ways to Find Joy Even in Sorrow

Rest with God: Firstly, God rested after He finished His creative work. Then He commanded “observe the Sabbath day by keeping it holy” (DEUTERONOMY 5:12). And now Christians can enjoy “a Sabbath-rest” in the completed work of salvation (HEBREWS 4:9). Rest has always been an essential part of the rhythm and routine of God’s people. This is especially true in our sorrow. Jesus calls to us, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (MATTHEW 11:28). As we lean into His presence, we find strength, hope and, yes, even joy. For we discover our God is right here with us.

2

Make yourself at home in the psalms: When the storms of life devastate us, we simply cannot find the words to express ourselves. That’s when the psalms come to life; God’s Word puts words to even the worst experiences we suffer. The psalms are a gift from God for navigating our valleys in communion with Him. Even in sorrow, the psalmist’s raw, aching yet hope-filled honesty brings us joy and praise. “I will extol the Lord at all times,” The psalmist assures us, inviting us to, “Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him” (PSALM 34: 1, 8).

3

Spend time with close friends: Pain and loss can drive us away from God and His people. We are unsure how to share our burden—or if we even want to. But the author of Hebrews writes, “[Don’t give] up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (HEBREWS 10:25). It’s not always easy to keep going to church, or to answer the phone when a friend calls. But we will struggle to find joy and hope on our own. God has given us His family to hold us and pray for us during life’s darkest seasons.

15 The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are attentive to their cry; 16 but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil, to blot out their name from the earth.

17 The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. 18 The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

19 The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all; 20 he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken.

Close

The Lord is close to the broken-hearted.

[ PSALM 34:18 ]

One heart-breaking image has stuck in my mind from the Duke of Edinburgh’s funeral in 2021. Due to the pandemic restrictions, the Queen of the United Kingdom spent the service sitting on her own. A solitary figure, surrounded by rows and rows of empty pews, bidding farewell to her husband of seventy-three years.

Her isolated mourning resonated with thousands of viewers who had faced similarly lonely farewells during the coronavirus pandemic. There’s something hollow about having to grieve alone. Yet many commented that, despite the empty pew, her strong faith in God meant she wasn’t alone at all.

This was the life-changing truth David experienced when he felt alone and afraid (SEE 1 SAMUEL 21:10–12). “The Lord is close to the broken-hearted,” he wrote (PSALM 34:18). God is in our grief, our pain and our questions. The word to describe God’s presence in our painful times is not distant, but close. His eyes are fixed on us (V. 15), His ears are attentive to our cries (V. 16) and He “delivers [his people] from all their troubles” (V. 17).

Even those of us who didn’t grieve during the pandemic may have emerged out of it feeling more fragile. Lonelier. Sadder. More anxious. While full recovery may not be immediate, a crucial part of God’s deliverance is His intimacy when our hearts ache. May He be our refuge today, for the Lord is close to the broken-hearted.

CHRIS WALE

PRAY: Heavenly Father, thank You for promising to be especially close to the broken-hearted. Please comfort me with Your presence today.

The Lord is close to the broken-hearted.

Psalm 34:18

“Sometimes our way lies in the sunlight. Other times it lies in the path of sorrow. Yet even sorrows turn to blessings when they make us less attached to the world and more attached to God. Then more than ever we discover that Jesus truly is our friend.”

REV. BILLY GRAHAM

“Your sorrow itself shall be turned into joy. Not the sorrow to be taken away, and joy to be put in its place, but the very sorrow which now grieves you shall be turned into joy. God not only takes away the bitterness and gives sweetness in its place, but turns the bitterness into sweetness itself.”

CHARLES SPURGEON

“Sorrow is one of the things that are lent, not given. A thing that is lent may be taken away; a thing that is given is not taken away. Joy is given; sorrow is lent. . . . It is lent to us for just a little while that we may use it for eternal purposes. Then it will be taken away and everlasting joy will be our Father’s gift to us, and the Lord God will wipe away all tears from off all faces.”

AMY CARMICHAEL

I Can Trust od with This

“Grief is a journey, often perilous and without clear direction,” writes Molly Fumia. “The experience of grieving cannot be ordered or categorised, hurried or controlled, pushed aside or ignored indefinitely.” 1

C. S. Lewis, another Christian author, described his struggle with grief this way: “In grief nothing ‘stays put’. You keep on emerging from pain, but it always recurs. Round and round. Everything repeats. Am I going in circles . . . am I going up or down?”

Each of our journeys through grief and heartache may look different. Yet what remains the same for all of us is the very present love and compassion of God.

In His Word, God specifically calls Himself “the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our trouble” (2 CORINTHIANS 1:3–4). Why does God call Himself the God “of all comfort”? Because He knows His people will suffer the loss of those we hold most

dear in this world, and so He knows we will need His comforting presence. And that is precisely the role He gives Himself; He is our chief comforter for “all our trouble”; no grief is too big and no loss too small.

Scripture promises: “The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (PSALM 34:18). You are not left alone with the raw pain and confusion of your loss; your Father who knows you perfectly has special blessings to bestow upon you and hourly strength with which to sustain you. He calls for you to share your grief and your tears with Him; and to know His comforting love in a deeply personal way.

Whatever your grief looks like—whatever shape your journey is taking—you can trust God with it. This, perhaps, is what we can say to ourselves in between sobs, when we have more questions than answers, when the emptiness feels overwhelming, when anger is getting a foothold in our heart: “I can trust God with this.” It is the simple truth we can take hold of as we consider many of the promises God makes in the Bible:

“God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you’” (HEBREWS 13:5). When you feel alone, you can say, “I can trust God with this.”

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” (PROVERBS 3:5). When you simply don’t know what to do, you can say, “I can trust God with this.”

“He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds” (PSALM 147:3). When your heart aches, you can say, “I can trust God with this.”

“‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away” (REVELATION 21:4). When you long for heaven and the death of death, you can say, “I can trust God with this.”

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted” (MATTHEW 5:4). When you need comfort, you can say, “I can trust God with this.”

“He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain” (ISAIAH 53:3). When you need to know Jesus understands your pain, you can say, “I can trust God with this.”

“Pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge” (PSALM 62:8). When you need a hiding place, you can say, “I can trust God with this.”

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (MATTHEW 11:28). When you are burdened with unanswerable questions, you can say, “I can trust God with this.”

In his own sorrow, the psalmist wrote, “My tears have been my food day and night” (PSALM 42:3). His heart was empty (V. 1), he’d lost sight of the Lord (V. 2), and he felt alone (V. 4). In his grief, he spoke these simple words to himself: “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Saviour and my God” (V. 5). In other words, “He is here. He will sustain me. I will yet praise Him . . . I can trust God with this.”

In the winding, twisting, and sometimes spiralling journey of grief, we long for real hope, real comfort, real love. We need to know the hand of our Father holding us tightly through every tiny step we take. He has given us great promises of His love and presence throughout Scripture so that we too might whisper quietly to our own souls: “I can trust God with this.”

1 Fumia, Molly. (2003) Safe Passages.York Beach, ME: Conari Press

Prayers for Prayers of the God's Faithfulness

Before a word is on my tongue you, know it completely. PSALM 139:4

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You Don’t Have to Walk Alone

W hen you’ve suffered the loss of a loved one or friend, how do you find comfort in the midst of your grief?

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This set of Bible reading notes from Our Daily Bread is designed to bring you words of comfort and healing as you walk through your journey of grief. Each reading has been selected to give you messages of reassurance, encouragement and hope. We trust that these short meditations and stories from those who have walked grief’s path will speak to your hurting heart—and will bring you closer to “the God of all comfort who comforts us in all our troubles” (2 CORINTHIANS 1:3-4); He knows your pain and is with you through this difficult journey. G1792