Teen Our Daily Bread
HOW SHOULD I STAND UP TO BULLIES?
INTRODUCTION S
ometimes it feels like bullies are everywhere. There’s the older kids at school who know they can have it all their own way. Then there are the classmates who make fun of your marks after every test, no matter what grade you get. Maybe you walk home from school with the same jokes being made every day by the people at the bus stop. Maybe you get picked on by your brothers and sisters. Maybe you’ve even found your best friend talking about you behind your back. Being bullied is one of the hardest things we have to cope with. These Bible readings won’t get rid of bullies—but they will remind you that you are never alone. The person who walks with you is our “shield around [us]” (PSALM 3:3)—He’s bigger than anyone or anything you will ever face. You can bring every bully, stress and bad relationship to God. And when you do, you’ll see the amazing difference He makes! Come and check it out for yourself . . .
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Psalm 4:1-8 Answer me when I call to you, my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; have mercy on me and hear my prayer. 1
2 How long will you people turn my glory into shame? How long will you love delusions and seek false gods? 3 Know that the Lord has set apart his faithful servant for himself; the Lord hears when I call to him.
Tremble and do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. 5 Offer the sacrifices of the righteous and trust in the Lord. 4
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Many, Lord, are asking, “Who will bring us prosperity?� Let the light of your face shine on us. 7 Fill my heart with joy when their grain and new wine abound. 8
In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.
FOREVER LOVED Know that the Lord has set apart his faithful servant for himself (PSALM 4:3).
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t’s almost impossible for us to get through a day without being made fun of, ignored or put down in some way. Sometimes we even do it to ourselves.
David’s enemies were bullying, threatening and hurting him with insults. His sense of self-worth and wellbeing had crashed (PSALM 4:1–2). He asked for a break “from my distress”. Then David remembered, “Know that the L ord has set apart his faithful servant for himself” (V.3). Different versions of the Bible try to show the full meaning of David’s bold statement by translating “faithful servant” as “godly person”. The original Hebrew word here literally means God’s never-ending love or, in other words: “those who God will love forever and ever and ever”. Here’s what we also need to remember: we are loved forever and we are as important to God as His own Son. He has made us His children! Instead of being down, we can remind ourselves of the love we freely get from our heavenly Father. We are His own children. He never gives up on us, and He never ever stops loving us. DR
To pray about . . . Father in heaven, the words of others can hurt us deeply. But Your words heal and comfort. Help us to remember that we are loved by You forever.
AND I PRAY THAT YOU, BEING ROOTED AND ESTABLISHED IN LOVE, MAY HAVE POWER . . . TO GRASP HOW WIDE AND LONG AND HIGH AND DEEP IS THE LOVE OF CHRIST. EPHESIANS 3:17-18
1 Samuel 17:33-50 Saul replied, ‘You are not able to go out against this Philistine and fight him; you are only a young man, and he has been a warrior from his youth.’ 33
34 But David said to Saul, ‘Your servant has been keeping his father’s sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, 35 I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it. 36 Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God. 37 The Lord who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine.’ Saul said to David, ‘Go, and the Lord be with you.’
Then Saul dressed David in his own tunic. He put a coat of armour on him and a bronze helmet on his head. 39 David fastened on his sword over the tunic and tried walking around, because he was not used to them.
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‘I cannot go in these,’ he said to Saul, ‘because I am not used to them.’ So he took them off. 40 Then he took his staff in his hand, chose five smooth stones from the stream, put them in the pouch of his shepherd’s bag and, with his sling in his hand, approached the Philistine. Meanwhile, the Philistine, with his shield-bearer in front of him, kept coming closer to David. 42 He looked David over and saw that he was little more than a boy, glowing with health and handsome, and he despised him. 43 He said to David, ‘Am I a dog, that you come at me with sticks?’ And the Philistine cursed David by his gods. 44 ‘Come here,’ he said, ‘and I’ll give your flesh to the birds and the wild animals!’ 41
David said to the Philistine, ‘You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. 46 This day the Lord will deliver you into my hands, and I’ll strike you down and cut off your head. This very day I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds and the wild animals, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. 47 All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give all of you into our hands.’ 45
As the Philistine moved closer to attack him, David ran quickly towards the battle line to meet him. 49 Reaching into his bag and taking out a stone, he slung it and struck the Philistine on the forehead. The stone sank into his forehead, and he fell face down on the ground.
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So David triumphed over the Philistine with a sling and a stone; without a sword in his hand he struck down the Philistine and killed him.
UNDERDOG The Lord who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine (1 SAMUEL 17:37).
W
e all like good underdog stories: the ‘little’ person outsmarts the bully; the small team no one’s ever heard of beats the team of sports stars; the kid who fails school becomes a billionaire with one good idea. We love it when giant hurdles or problems are beaten. When ancient Israel was being attacked by the Philistines, there was a boy named David who actually beat a real giant (1 SAMUEL 17:41-51). The armies were facing up to each other. They were probably scared of one another. So they agreed that the battle should be decided by just one soldier from each side fighting each other. The Philistines sent forward Goliath, who was over nine feet tall—but Israel could not find anyone who was brave enough to fight. David heard about it and asked King Saul to let him fight Goliath (VV.32-37). Saul wasn’t sure, but in the end he agreed. David, a shepherd boy, armed with five smooth stones (V.40) and a confident trust in God (V.45), defeated the Philistines’ champion. We all face giants in our lives—worry, doubt, exams, bullies and guilt. It doesn’t matter if we don’t feel up to the challenge. If we trust our all-powerful God, we too can keep going and ask God to defeat them. MW
To pray about . . . Father, You know the giants I’m stressed about today. Please help me to face them in Your strength, knowing You are with me and far bigger than anything else I will come up against today.
GOD CHOSE THE WEAK THINGS OF THE WORLD TO SHAME THE STRONG. 1 CORINTHIANS 1:27.
3 John 1 The elder, To my dear friend Gaius, whom I love in the truth.
Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, just as you are progressing spiritually. 3 It gave me great joy when some believers came and testified about your faithfulness to the truth, telling how you continue to walk in it. 4 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. 2
5 Dear friend, you are faithful in what you are doing for the brothers and sisters, even though they are strangers to you. 6 They have told the church about your love. Please send them on their way in a manner that honours God. 7 It was for the sake of the Name that they went out, receiving no help from the pagans. 8 We ought therefore to show hospitality to such people so that we may work together for the truth. 9
I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to be first, will not welcome us. 10 So when I come, I will call attention to what he is doing, spreading malicious nonsense about us. Not satisfied with that, he even refuses to welcome other believers. He also stops those who want to do so and puts them out of the church. Dear friend, do not imitate what is evil but what is good. Anyone who does what is good is from God. Anyone who does what is evil has not seen God. 12 Demetrius is well spoken of by everyone—and even by the truth itself. We also speak well of him, and you know that our testimony is true.
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I have much to write to you, but I do not want to do so with pen and ink. 14 I hope to see you soon, and we will talk face to face.
Peace to you. The friends here send their greetings. Greet the friends there by name.
COPYING WHAT IS GOOD Dear friend, do not imitate what is evil but what is good (3 JOHN 11).
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know lots of people who’ve been gossiped about at one time or another. I find it really painful when I see how hurt they’ve been by lies and rumours. It’s even worse when some of the people spreading the gossip have been Christians.
In the Bible, John suffered from disagreements, gossip and unkind “nonsense” (3 JOHN 1:10) in some of the churches he worked with. One example was how Diotrephes treated him, as we see in 3 John. Not only did Diotrephes reject John’s teaching, but he didn’t welcome the Christians who had travelled to share God’s good news (V.10). Yet John didn’t stop trying to bring peace to the situation. He wrote to Gaius to encourage him to keep acting in love and to not copy Diotrephes’ actions (VV.5,11)—and also to let him know that he planned to visit (V.14) to sort things out. When people are gossiping about us, or our friends are being made fun of, we might want to spread some gossip of our own to hit back. But we should listen instead to John’s instructions to not copy things that cause pain, but to do good instead (V.11). This may mean talking face to face with the people spreading the gossip and lies. Although we may hear words that hurt us, we can keep sharing the peace of God’s love, walking in it day by day (V.3). ABP
Thinking it over . . . When are your words most likely to be unkind or cutting? What can you be doing to make sure that you keep using kind words, even when other people are being hurtful or gossiping?
SPEAKING THE TRUTH IN LOVE, WE WILL GROW TO BECOME IN EVERY RESPECT THE MATURE BODY OF HIM WHO IS THE HEAD, THAT IS, CHRIST. EPHESIANS 4:15
Isaiah 40:10-11 10
See, the Sovereign Lord comes with power, and he rules with a mighty arm. See, his reward is with him, and his recompense accompanies him. He tends his flock like a shepherd: he gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young. 11
GENTLE AND POWERFUL Let your gentleness be evident to all (PHILIPPIANS 4:5).
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uring World War II, Anne Frank and her family had to be brave to stand against the Nazi’s invasion of her home—the Netherlands. Yet Anne, writing in what became her famous Diary of a Young Girl said this: “In the long run, the sharpest weapon of all is a kind and gentle spirit.”
But gentleness can be a complicated thing to get our heads round as we deal with real life. In Isaiah 40 we get a picture of God that shows Him to be both gentle and powerful. In verse 11 we read: “He tends his flock like a shepherd: he gathers the lambs in his arms.” But that verse follows this: “See, the Sovereign L ord comes with power, and he rules with a mighty arm” (ISAIAH 40:10). Full of power, but gentle when it comes to protecting those in need. And think of Jesus, who made a whip and used it as He flipped over the moneychangers’ tables in the temple . . . but who also gently cared for children. He used powerful words to reject the religious leaders (MATTHEW 23:1-39) but forgave a woman who needed His gentle mercy (JOHN 8:1-11). While there may be times to stand up for people being bullied at school and challenge anyone who is hurting others—we’re also to “let [our] gentleness be [obvious] to all” (PHILIPPIANS 4:5). As we serve God, sometimes the most powerful thing we’ll be able to do is sit quietly with our friends and classmates who are struggling and simply be with them. DB
What I’m thankful for . . . Thank You, Father, that I can live in gentleness today, knowing that You are truly powerful and that You hold me and love me.
A GENTLE ANSWER TURNS AWAY WRATH, BUT A HARSH WORD STIRS UP ANGER. PROVERBS 15:1
Ephesians 4:15 15
Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.
Ephesians 4:26–32 ‘In your anger do not sin’: do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold. 28 Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need. 26
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. 29
ANGER MANAGEMENT In your anger do not sin: do not let the sun go down while you are still angry (EPHESIANS 4:26).
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hen I was chatting with a friend, she told me she was fed up with someone in her family. But she didn’t want to say anything to him about the way he always made fun of her. When she did try to talk to him, he was just sarcastic. So she exploded in anger at him. They both just got mad at each other and the problems only ended up getting worse.
I understand her situation. I handle anger the same way. I also find it hard to talk to people when they upset me. If a friend says something mean, I usually hide how I feel. When other people say unkind things, I just bury all those comments and keep my head down. But after a while, I can’t help exploding. Maybe that’s why Paul said in Ephesians 4:26: “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry”. Putting a time limit on our issues keeps anger in check. Instead of silently becoming bitter when someone hurts us, we can ask God to help us “[speak] the truth in love” (EPHESIANS 4:15). Got a problem with someone? Rather than hold it in, hold it up to God first. He will help us in our anger so that we can show love and forgiveness to the people who hurt us. LW
To pray about . . . Father, please guard us from uncontrolled anger. May the words that we speak please You and show love to others.
HUMAN ANGER DOES NOT PRODUCE THE RIGHTEOUSNESS THAT GOD DESIRES. JAMES 1:20
FOCUS ARTICLE
THREE WAYS TO DEAL WITH BULLYING I
didn’t realise I was different until the kids at school kept pointing it out. You see, I have ginger hair. No one else had ginger hair in my school apart from my brother, but they always picked on me, never on him.
Most of the time it was one or two kids who picked on me. But sometimes they would do it in front of my friends, and my friends would join in too. They called me “ginger minger” and “carrot top”. I was left out of their games in the playground and I hated going to school. I wanted to be like everyone else, I didn’t want people to call me horrible names. I thought if I was the same as them, they would stop. So I begged and begged my mum to let me change my hair colour; I didn’t tell her the real reason. But she wouldn’t let me dye it blonde. She said it was unique and beautiful. But I hated it. I badly wanted to fit in, but I also wanted revenge. So I tried to get my brother to pick on them. He was older and could make their lives miserable if he wanted to, but he didn’t. Maybe he thought that they would pick on him too if he did. By the time I was in high school, I had managed to convince my mum to let me dye my hair a little bit. I was allowed blonde highlights—at least that disguised it slightly. Though people still made fun of me, I was determined to convince myself that I was blonde with ginger highlights so that it would hurt less. But the bullying continued. I still felt isolated and alone. I felt stupid for feeling left out. I didn’t know what to do, so I didn’t respond or retaliate. I thought the bullying was somehow my fault, that I must have annoyed the other kids in some way. I went to talk to another friend about the situation and we began to pray about it. At first, I was so angry I couldn’t even pray for the people bullying me. But slowly God helped me to see them through His eyes.
Here are three things I’ve learned about how to deal with bullying:
1. See bullies from God’s point of view
Though we are each unique, everyone is made in the image of God and Jesus loves us equally. We need to see ourselves and others the same way God does. God created us all. He doesn’t want any of us to feel cut off and alone. When I was able to see the kids at school as people Jesus died for and loved, and not just as a bullies, I was then able to pray for them. Because some of them were my friends, it was also easier for me to remind myself of the good stuff about them.
2. Pray for their good
When Jesus told His friends to love their enemies and pray for those who hurt them, I don’t think His followers were meant to just pray their attackers would go away. Jesus wanted His friends to be able to see their enemies in a different way (MATTHEW 5:44-48). When we start praying for good things to happen to the people who hurt us, it helps change our view of them and the situation. It helps us to love them as people who also need Jesus’ rescue, rather than hate them as bullying monsters. Sometimes, the way they behave may be because they have terrible things going on in the background that we don’t know about. The more my friend and I prayed, the easier it became to ignore my classmates’ behaviour and not let it affect me. Though I did not confront them about the issue, I did go out of my way to try to show love and kindness in response.
3. Tell someone
Facing a problem with someone beside you is better than facing it on your own. If you share your struggles with someone in your church who may be a bit older, or who has known Jesus for longer, you can learn from their experience and advice. They will help you to keep your thoughts in check so you don’t get overwhelmed. It also means someone can pray for you and with you (GALATIANS 6:2). As my friend and I talked and prayed about the situation, she helped me to see that I hadn’t done anything wrong and that I should not be afraid to continue to be myself. There are times when bullying can become so bad that action needs to be taken by your school to protect you or others. But no matter how bad the situation is, we can always take it to God and know that He is in control. I no longer face bullying today. But whenever the situation comes to mind or if I happen to bump into people who bullied me in the past, I pray and ask God to show them His love. But ultimately, I’m learning to remind myself that the opinion of others doesn’t matter. I want to fix my eyes on Jesus and His love and care for me.
Scripture taken from Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved. © 2019 by Our Daily Bread Ministries. All rights reserved.
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