Teen
Having
Fun
Our Daily Bread
BIG QUESTIONS ABOUT . . .
Having
Fun
Y
ou want to live your best life. We all do.
But doesn’t God kind of get in the way of that? Isn’t He all about “do this”, “don’t do that”, “I’m watching
you . . .”? Is a life with Him full of misery and boredom?
Here are a few big questions about having fun, answered for you by readers in the Our Daily Bread Ministries family. So get stuck in! And if you want more, check out What does it mean to be free? at ourdailybread.org/teen
Will I have to
give things up if I become a Christian? O
ne way the Bible talks about Christians is as “the bride of Christ”. The point is that our relationship with God is compared to a marriage. Do people have to give stuff up when they get married? Yes they do! When a couple join their lives together in marriage, they promise to give up their right to have any other romantic partners as long as they live. They give up their life of doing whatever they want as ‘free agents’. They often leave family, friends, hometowns and many other things. Why would someone give up these good things? Aren’t they making themselves unhappy?
A person gives up these good things because they think their marriage partner is worth it. Why would they choose to sleep around when they can have the comfort and security of being with the one they love? People who want to get married must choose a life with just one partner, giving up anything that might get in the way of that life. Becoming a Christian is a choice: do we want to live for Jesus or live without him? If we choose to be joined to Jesus, we must get rid of anything that gets in the way of that relationship. We must distance ourselves from the things which the Bible says are sinful; things that push God out of our lives and will damage our relationship with him. When we begin to follow Jesus, we must look to please him above pleasing ourselves.
Attempting to simply add Jesus to our lives without making any other changes would be a bit like someone bringing their new husband or wife home only for them to find that there are other lovers there too. That certainly wouldn’t have been the life they had in mind! The relationship will never last.
All worthwhile relationships take commitment. And commitment to anything, whether it’s a cause, grade or person, always involves giving other stuff up. The question is, do we think Jesus is worth it?
Can I have sex
without getting married?
S
ex is a gift from God to be enjoyed. However, the Bible also makes it clear that the only correct place for sex is in marriage, between a husband and wife (1 CORINTHIANS 7:2). Some of us might say, “But what’s wrong with casual sex? It’s just a bit of fun.” The truth is there is no such thing as ‘no strings attached’ sex. Sex is a powerful, intimate thing—and it leaves its mark. Even if you don’t feel lasting attachment after sleeping with someone, the other person may well feel some hurt and sadness when you then decide to leave their life. Think of it like this,
if we glue an object and stick it to something else and then rip the two apart, there will be some glue left on both (some sign that they once were joined together). If a glued object is repeatedly stuck on and ripped off other objects, it will soon lose its ability to stick at all. The longer a sexual relationship lasts, the more is left behind when we leave it. That is why God gives us marriage as the safe, secure environment where two people can be joined together in sex. As part of their relationship, sex will help them grow closer together—knowing that they have committed in their marriage vows to stay glued together all their lives.
Can I have sex
without getting married?
Another objection might be, “But if I am committed to my partner, why do I need to get married?” It’s a good question. And again, it comes down to the true commitment of marriage vows. These are not just nice words—they are a promise to put our husband or wife first and to stay with them forever, through thick and thin. Until
we have given our partner that kind of commitment before God and our friends and family, we are not truly committed. And God says we’re not ready to sleep with them and join with them in that special way.
It’s also important to remember that while sex is for the enjoyment of a husband and wife, it is also for making children. And the more sex we have outside of marriage with different partners, the more risk there is of having kids outside of the security of marriage. Sex before marriage means babies can be born to couples who are no longer together or even in contact. This is not the safe, secure family environment that God wants children to know. Of course, saving sex for marriage doesn’t mean that there won’t be problems or that kids won’t grow up without a parent—but it is the plan God has laid out for us. And his plans are worth following; he knows best how we function and the most healthy ways for us to live out and enjoy our lives. If sex were kept just for marriage, there would be far fewer sexually transmitted diseases, unplanned pregnancies, abortions and messy relationships out there.
Can Christians
still drink and go to parties?
T
he Bible has quite a lot to say about alcohol . . . but you might be surprised that it’s not about avoiding it! One bit actually says: “Drink your wine with a joyful heart” (ECCLESIASTES 9:7). So yes, as Christians clearly we can still drink and enjoy ourselves in places that serve alcohol. But what the Bible also makes clear is that we need to be careful when we are drinking and partying. It warns us not to get drunk or allow anything (including drink) to take control of us. God doesn’t say this to limit our fun, but to keep us safe. Alcohol can become addictive and then, rather than being a bit of fun, can take over and ruin our lives. And getting drunk makes us lose control over what we do and say— and can land us in a lot of trouble. Alcohol is a gift from God, so
we don’t need to feel guilty about enjoying it. But we do need to make sure we’re careful that it doesn't take over. Some Christians choose not to drink and party. This isn’t because they’re killjoys. It’s because they know if they’re somewhere where alcohol is served, they won’t be able to stop themselves drinking and drinking and drinking. And so they keep themselves well out of the way. That’s kind of what this all comes down to: who do we want to please in our lives? Ourselves? Or God? If we’re living to please God, then we’ll want to avoid things that displease him—like getting off our faces. And when we are at a party, we’ll want to enjoy ourselves in a way that shows God is in charge of how we act.
Does God
wanthaving to stop us fun? T
he Bible says that everyone who trusts Jesus becomes God’s children, and He becomes their Father. Many of us think our parents’ whole mission in life is to take away all our fun . . . But any good parent knows that fun is an important part of life; the problem is that the parents and children don’t always agree on what is safe and what can lead to danger. There is actually a lot of freedom in the Christian life. We are free to enjoy all sorts of things. But, like a good Father, God does not allow us to do just anything we want. There are limits. Just as a child doesn’t
see the dangers or long-term result of certain things, so we don’t always see God’s reasons for sometimes limiting us. Something happens when we trust Jesus Christ and become children of God; his Spirit comes to live in us. That means that we begin
to agree with God more and more about what is good or bad, fun or dangerous. What we want begins to change. We might have followed our own needs without question up to that point, but once we have the Holy Spirit in our lives, we begin to have a much stronger sense of right and wrong. Things which once seemed like harmless fun (like getting blind drunk, for example) we now see as being dangerous. They don’t please God; but now they don’t please us either. We actually change from the inside.
The Bible tells us that the result of living by the Holy Spirit will be a life full of “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control” (GALATIANS 5:22-23). There will be a great calmness and satisfaction, no matter what we enjoy doing. God wants us to have a life full of joy, peace and love. But He knows, left to ourselves, we’ll mess it up. Like a manager who guides his football players away from selfish playing so they can work together as a team and win, our heavenly Father leads us away from things which will drag us down so we can enjoy real peace. So no, God doesn’t stop us having fun, but he does help us change how we view what’s fun and what isn’t.
Hunting for fun Ecclesiastes 2:1-11
I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure . . . Everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind (VV.10-11).
I
always look forward to summer—the holidays, sunshine, beaches and barbecues. It’s my favourite time of year! But I don’t just wait until the weather’s a bit warmer before I do the things I want. Sometimes it feels like I’m always hunting for fun. Wanting to fill our time with fun stuff isn’t always a bad thing. God has built us for enjoying ourselves. Paul (a writer in the Bible) reminds us that God “richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment”
(1 TIMOTHY 6:17). And other parts of the Bible invite us to make the most of good food, friends and all sorts of other things. The problem comes when we try to find our meaning and lasting happiness in the things we enjoy.
Ultimate happiness is not found in the fun stuff our world offers, but in knowing Jesus for ourselves. King Solomon learned this the hard way. “I denied myself nothing,” he said (ECCLESIASTES 2:10). But after spending his time just hunting for fun, he realised, “Everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind” (V.11). It’s no surprise he warned, “Whoever loves pleasure will become poor” (PROVERBS 21:17). What we are really looking for can only be found in a growing relationship with Jesus. Jesus, I know you are better for me than anything or anyone else. Help me to find my meaning and joy in knowing you.
ARE WE LIVING FOR OUR OWN FUN, OR LIVING TO KNOW JESUS BETTER? This article is from the Our Daily Bread Teen Edition annuals. Fancy getting hold of them? You can ask for your copies and see all our other resources at ourdailybread.org/teen
[God] richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment. 1 TIMOTHY 6:17
Scripture taken from Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved. © 2019 by Our Daily Bread Ministries. All rights reserved.
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