start over? Ever wanted to
STEP BY STEP
TO STARTING
A NEW
LIFE
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STEP 1 STEP 2 STEP 3 STEP 4 STEP 5 Decide you want to start over
Map out what you want your new life to be like Take a break from yourself
Ask for help
New life with God
STEP 1
Decide you want to start over
“Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.” —J. K. Rowling (British author)
So. You want to start over. What happened? Did you mess something big up? Just get bored with the daily routine? Is life not really turning out how you expected? Fed up with the people around you? Or are you just fed up with yourself? Whatever your reason for picking up this leaflet, there’s hope for you. Deciding you want a new life is the first step to living a new life. But, be warned, the new life on offer may not be what you were expecting. Rock bottom may feel like the only thing left to build a new life from, but is that really going to create something new and deal with the things that led to rock bottom in the first place?
“My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.” —Woody Allen (American actor/comedian/filmmaker)
Even the rich and famous often wish they had something better. On one chat show, two celebrities (with decent careers and bucket-loads of cash) talked about this very topic. One said, “Don’t you sometimes wish you could take a holiday from yourself?” To which the other replied, “All the time!” The new life you want has got to be the full package. Money and fame won’t be enough. So what should it look like?
STEP 2
Map out what you want your new life to be like
“I always thought I wanted to play professionally, and I always knew that to do that I’d have to make a lot of sacrifices. I made sacrifices by leaving Argentina, leaving my family to start a new life. I changed my friends, my people. Everything. But everything I did, I did for football, to achieve my dream.”—Lionel Messi (Argentinean footballer) You could work your socks off learning a new skill, train up to get a better job, borrow enough cash to move house, create a new dream to aim for… What is it that you actually want? Most of us probably want to be satisfied. Or we’ll want to feel safe and at peace. Maybe you dream of a life where you are actually content and don’t need anything more, even on the worst day. Or perhaps you want a secure, bright future.
“I know my soul is beautiful; I know I’m a good person. And that will never change for me.” —Khloe Kardashian (American TV personality)
But can we really live well enough to feel good about ourselves and satisfied all the time? What does it take for this to become a reality? And even if you manage to build your dream life and experience real peace; what then? The ‘happily ever after’ has to end at some point. Even if you get to your death bed at a good old age, surrounded by those you love and having achieved all you wanted… you still have to die. Even the happiest life comes to an end. Having such a scary, unknown thing looming in the distance can make living with satisfaction and confidence that much harder. Should we just get our heads down and make the most of ‘now’?
STEP 3
Take a break from yourself
“I’ve just been on a ‘once in a lifetime’ holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again.” —Tim Vine (British comedian)
Get away from yourself, gather your thoughts and then come back stronger! This sounds good, right? But the one thing you’ll always have in your suitcase, no matter where you go, is the one thing you’re trying to leave behind: you. Like Woody Allen said, we need to be “someone else” if we really want to start again. Over 2,000 years ago, Jesus said something very important (although it sounds a bit odd at first): “No one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again” (John 3:3). We all need to start over; that’s basically what Jesus was saying. No one can have a satisfying and unending life (or, in other words, “see the kingdom of God”) unless they are “born again” (so, become a brand new person). The Bible says that God created us to live with him in a perfect, safe and loving relationship. But we prefer to live without him, living our own lives and setting our own priorities. In the process we often get things wrong, hurting ourselves, those around us and God. The penalty for going it alone and rejecting God is death. According to the Bible, death isn’t an ‘unknown’; it is God’s judgement towards us. Keeping our heads down and making the most of today won’t stop it from happening.
We need to be “someone else”. Someone who God is pleased with. Someone who can enjoy his provision and presence, no matter what happens in life. God alone can offer us purpose, value and somewhere to belong forever. God never intended us to have to die. Death is something we now face because of how we have chosen to live. We all need a fresh start with God! But starting over isn’t just about grabbing this new life, it is also about leaving the old life behind. That’s why Jesus uses the phrase “born again”. That’s how much of a new person we have to become. We have all been born, and we will all die. We need to be “born again” to a new life where we will never die. There is nothing we can do to make ourselves this ‘new’. We can work and work to try and please God, learn new skills and improve our lives, but ultimately the fresh start we’re looking for will never happen. We can never be free of the life we’ve lived without him so far. Our past is still our past. We can’t just pretend the things we’ve done wrong never happened. There is a penalty to be paid for them. While that is still the case, we’ll continue to be separate from God and all that he offers. We’ll continue to be the people we are trying to escape from.
STEP 4 Ask for help
“To all who did receive [Jesus], to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God” —John 1:12-13
It’s not just that we need to ask for help. We need to ask the right person. When Jesus came to earth over 2,000 years ago, he came to make new life with God possible. He did this by choosing to die nailed to a cross of wood. But he wasn’t just dying a horrible death; he was dying our death. On the cross, he took on all God’s judgement for all we have ever done wrong! And then he did something that can give us real security. He came back to life three days later. Because he came back to life, he can offer us new life too. It’s a new life with God right now and a promised place with God in heaven after we die. When we trust Jesus, God forgives us and looks on us as his own children! Being “born again” seems like a nonsense idea. But that is actually how new Jesus makes us! With him we become brand new. And this is something only he can do. There is no way we could achieve this on our own! What was it that brought you to rock bottom? What is it you wish you could
leave behind or escape from? On our own, we are totally powerless to change who we are and what we have done. But on the cross, Jesus paid for all our mistakes and wrongs. He wipes the slate clean, completely! Those who trust Jesus become so brand new and perfect in God’s eyes that the Bible says Jesus’ death pays for all their future mess ups as well. God even promises to use our mistakes for his good purposes. They no longer have to be things we’re ashamed of and hide from. They are things God has dealt with and can now use to teach us and make us more like him. Any experience, including the nightmarish ones, can be used by God to help us rely on him, get to know him better and show his love and care to others. Only God can change us in this way. By his actions, we can become more than “someone else”, we can become someone new. This is really what it means to start over!
STEP 5 New life with God
WHAT IT ISN’T:
WHAT IT IS:
A problem free existence;
Being cared for by a good, perfect God, who loves you as if you were his only child, no matter what you’ve done;
A guarantee of health, wealth and popularity; A magical cure to get rid of the consequences to mistakes you’ve made; A ‘get out of jail free card’ to do what you want; Another long list of dos and don’ts; The same life you had before— just with religion bolted on.
A promised place in heaven because he has taken care of everything and made you brand new. Becoming more like God every day, meaning you can make better decisions, treat others well, allow God more and more control of your life and have less and less regrets.
Tough things will still happen, you may still get sick and you might lose your job, but this new life is one of satisfaction. Not satisfaction based on how well we’re doing, but based on God: relying on him and trusting him no matter what. Living with God means never going through anything without him there beside us to guide and strengthen us. Asking for this new life won’t necessarily get rid of past pain or current consequences. But working through those things with God will allow him to transform our situations for good as he helps us to know to him better and become more like Him in how we act and think.
WHAT IT COSTS: This new life cost Jesus his life on the cross. It required him to be willing to die in our place and take on God’s judgement. But it also costs us something. To receive this new life, we need to trust ourselves to Jesus’ care. We are no longer our own, we are his.
WHAT IT PROMISES: The Bible promises that God will never leave us (Hebrews 13:5), that we can bring all our concerns to him (1 Peter 5:7) and that he will prepare us a place in heaven (John 14:1-3). Belonging to God is the new life and the fresh start we are looking for. It is a life without the shame and guilt of rock bottom, and without the stress of trying to become someone else. God even promises to make his home in us (John 14:23) to help us get to know him better so we can become more like him every day. That is the ultimate promise of this new life: not to become just “somebody else”, but to become more like our loving, caring and good God!
STEP 5 New life with God
If you want to think further about what it means to have a new life with God and live as one of His children, the best idea is to get hold of a Bible and start reading some more. We encourage you to make contact with a local church as well, where you can ask any questions you might have.
NEXT Our Daily Bread Ministries would also like to help! We publish a regular booklet called Our Daily Bread, which will help you to read the Bible and talk with God each day. You can check it out at odb.org or request a copy using the contact details on the back of this booklet. We’d love to help! Visit us online at ourdailybread.org/locations/united-kingdom to see the many other resources available to you!
Scripture taken from Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved. © 2016 by Our Daily Bread Ministries. All rights reserved. Printed in the United Kingdom
Check out more leaflets in the Looking at Life series at
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For information on our resources, visit ourdailybread.org. Alternatively, please contact the office nearest to you from the list below, or go to ourdailybread.org/locations for the complete list of offices. Germany: Our Daily Bread Ministries e.V., Schulstraße 42, 79540 Lörrach deutsch@odb.org Ireland: Our Daily Bread Ministries, 64 Baggot Street Lower, Dublin 2, DO2 CX62 ireland@odb.org ~ +353 (01) 676 7315 UK & Europe: Our Daily Bread Ministries, PO Box 1, Carnforth, Lancashire, LA5 9ES europe@odb.org ~ +44 (0) 15395 64149 Many people, making even the smallest of donations, enable Our Daily Bread Ministries to reach others with the life changing wisdom of the Bible. We are not funded or endowed by any group or denomination.