Our Kids Magazine Jan Feb 2022 by Our Kids Magazine

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4 LOVE ACTIONS

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Attention, Acceptance, Appreciation & Affection

MATERNITY LEAVE 5 Reasons t’s NOT a Vacation

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HELPING YOUR KIDS TO SET AND ACHIEVE GOALS

EDUCATION GUIDE

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CONTENTS

February 2022

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SIX WAYS TO HELP YOUR KIDS SET AND ACHIEVE GOALS

FOLLOW THE LEADER:

GAMES THAT TEACH KIDS SPELLING & READING COMPREHENSION

WAYS TO INSTILL LEADERSHIP QUALITIES IN KIDS

16 18

5 REASONS MATERNITY LEAVE IS NOT A VACATION

20 21 22

BIRTHDAYS ON A BUDGET:

THE 4 LOVE ACTIONS:

ATTENTION, ACCEPTANCE, APPRECIATION & AFFECTION REUSE & REPURPOSE DECOR

CALENDAR EXPERT ADVICE ON HOW TO HELP YOUR KIDS DO CHORES

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PUBLISHER Rudy Riojas 210-526-0312

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volume 38 • number 1

DISTRIBUTION Taspas Delivery

P.O. Box 1809 Castroville, TX 78009 210-305-4181

On the Cover

Photo by: 2XSAMARA.COM

ADVERTISING: Pat Ramotowski 210-209-8673 Magazine

Amy Sugarman 210-987-2202

OUR KIDS MAGAZINE LLC is a locally owned magazine published monthly. Advertisements in this magazine are paid for by the advertisers, which allows this magazine to be free to the consumer. Limit of one free copy per reader. Unless specifically noted, no advertisers, products or services are endorsed by the publisher. All persons are hereby informed that all dwellings advertising are available on an equal opportunity basis. OUR KIDS MAGAZINE LLC copyright 2015. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or part without written permission is prohibited. Magazine

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6 Ways to Help Your Kids Set and Achieve Goals By Rebecca Hastings

Setting goals are nothing new for many grown-ups (I’m looking at you New Year’s Resolutions!) But goals are not just for the new year, and they’re not just for adults. Kids benefit from working toward something they want to achieve. Whether it’s a cleaner room or less screen time, kids will benefit from setting age-appropriate goals. The secret is setting them up for success. Here are 6 ways to help your kids set and achieve goals:

Talk About These Details Right Away Set a start date and an end date. Kids often need quick wins, so shorter time frames are great. Have young kids go for a few days and build up to a week. Older kids and tweens can go longer stretches, but usually no more than a month. Offering quick wins gives them confidence and momentum to stick with it. Another important detail is how your child will keep track of their progress. You can try an app or the classic sticker chart. Even a simple star on the family calendar works. Decide What to Do As parents, we can think of a few things our kids could work on! But what will improve their daily life and offer them a chance for success? If they’re working on being more active, don’t start with walking a mile a day. Start with something fun like taking the dog for a family walk after school. If a cleanroom is the goal,

try making the bed daily. Once they have succeeded in that area, they can build on it. ■ Walking the dog twice a week becomes four times a week. ■ Making the bed grows to put dirty clothes in the hamper too. ■ Allow each goal to grow over time.

What You Focus on Matters A negative approach won’t get you far. It’s true for us and our kids. While we may want them to stop eating junk food or to spend less time on screens, focusing on the positive yields better results. Instead of eating less junk food, try eating an extra veggie each day. Cutting down on screen time becomes playing a new card game. Finding something good to do is more enticing than stopping something else. The Secret to Success We all want our kids to be successful, not just for the sake of goals but for our sanity. I want my kids to get off their screens, clean their rooms, and clean the house top to bottom for me (too much?) While we may not get the whole house cleaned for us, we can help them find success with the one thing that always helps: do it together. Kids have a hard time saying no when mom or dad sits down to play cards with them or challenges them to race January / February 2022 | OurKidsMagazine.com

to the mailbox. Even a contest to make your bed the fastest motivates kids to do the work. Interaction is a surefire way to help kids make progress on their goals.

How to Handle Setbacks None of us want to believe there will be setbacks in goal setting. The whole point is moving forward. But perfection isn’t realistic. There will be days when things don’t go perfectly. The key is how you handle it. Three ways to handle a setback: ■ One missed opportunity isn’t a failure. Give grace and keep going. ■ Losing steam feels frustrating. Look back at the progress they made. ■ Things sometimes go haywire. Give a fresh start with a shorter time frame. No matter which method you use, your kids will learn that goals are not a pass/fail system. It’s all about progress.

The Key to Rewards If the satisfaction of a cleanroom was enough of a motivator, I wouldn’t have three books, a random recipe cut out from a magazine, and a screwdriver on my nightstand. We

need a reward to motivate us to keep going to the finish line. Kids need that too. Before kids even start working on a new goal, decide how they will celebrate at the end of the time frame. Will it be going out for ice cream or watching a favorite movie? Maybe a campout in the living room or a trip to the bookstore? What about an extra story at bedtime? Whatever reward you give, make sure it doesn’t undo the hard work your child has done. The reward should be clear at the beginning and it should be finite. Having ice cream every night now that your child is eating more veggies doesn’t support the goal. The reward is a singular experience to celebrate the progress they made. To make your child’s goal-setting successful, consider how your child will track their progress and work toward an appropriate reward that is motivating and works for you. For most kids, the reward needs to be right away to associate it with their hard work. After a week of making their bed, day 7 gets the extra story. When they have walked the dog twice a week for a month, a walk to the ice cream shop is on day 30. Define rewards, track progress, and give the reward to give kids success in setting their own goals now and in the future.

SCHOOLS - ACADEMIC - SECONDARY & ELEMENTARY Brooks Academies is a premiere tuition-free public charter school with four campuses located in San Antonio. Serving grades PreK-12 with specialized programs in STEM, Dual Language, Fine Arts, Sports Leadership and Management. Free breakfast and lunch will be provided in all locations. Virtual Instruction program open to all students who qualify. Teaching positions are available. Applications are available for the 2022-2023 school year. Apply today!

Brooks Collegiate Academy - 210-850-3002 Brooks Oaks Academy - 210-627-6013 Brooks Lone Star Academy - 210-998-4452 Brooks Academy of Science and Engineering - 210-633-9006

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Games That Teach Kids Spelling & Reading Comprehension By Kimberly Blaker

Engaging in written communication is a necessary skill that kids will need to succeed in all areas of school and life. Reading comprehension is key to understanding what others are trying to communicate. At the same time, spelling helps ensure that the person or people you’re communicating with can comprehend what you’re trying to say and give you the confidence to convey your message successfully. When kids enjoy themselves, they can more fully engage with content and even remember and understand it much faster and more completely. Many types of games teach or boost spelling and reading comprehension for various ages and interests and in several formats. The fun games below can help your kids develop their reading and spelling skills.

Board games Context Clues Pirate Treasure is a reading comprehension board game for reading levels 2.0-3.5 (around 2nd-3rd grades). Players read story cards and answer comprehension questions using context clues to move around the board and be the first to reach the treasure. Inference School Days is a reading comprehension game explicitly focusing on the skill of inference. The blue level is for reading levels 3.5-5.0 (around 3rd-5th grades). Players use inference to correctly answer questions on the story cards to earn their diplomas. Dabble is a spelling and vocabulary board game for ages 8 and up but great for family game night. Each player gets letter tiles and tries to arrange them into five words of various lengths before the time runs out. Play on Words is a spelling card game for ages 8 and up. It’s easy to take with you on the go or keep in your bag for travel fun. Players use letter cards to spell out words but can change, rearrange, and steal to make it more challenging. My First Bananagrams is a spelling game for early learners ages 4 and up. It uses letter combo tiles and lowercase letter tiles to ease pre-readers and early readers into the game by making word creation easier. When your child is ready, upgrade to the original Bananagrams for ages 7 and up. Online games IXL is an online educational game site with memberships for the pre-k-12th grade. It has many subjects, including language arts, broken down by grade level, topics, and skill plans.

It offers specific sections for reading comprehension and spelling, but also related concepts to further understanding. PBS Kids has a website with learning games aimed at younger children. There is a section solely for reading games that work on reading comprehension, spelling, and more. The site also has parent resources for kids learning at home. Teach Your Monster to Read offers three game levels for beginning readers up to older children who need practice. Letter and sound phonics practice have increasingly difficult combinations that reinforce spelling. As children improve, they move on to reading and comprehending sentences. The computer version is free from the Usborne Foundation. Adventure Academy is a multi-subject learning game for ages 8-13 with games, activities, and interactive play with friends. The language arts curriculum includes comprehension, spelling practice, and more. It offers a monthly or yearly subscription. ABCmouse is by the same group as Adventure Academy. It teaches subjects to children ages 2-8 through games, songs, books, videos, printables, and more for a monthly or yearly subscription. The language arts curriculum starts with basics and progresses in difficulty as kids learn.

Phone app games iTooch has educational apps designed for each grade from 1st-8th with multi-subject and language arts options. It aligns with Common Core standards and has engaging activities and games to promote learning. (price varies) Spark Reading for Kids is an app for children in grades 2-8 to work on reading comprehension aligned with Common Core standards. Learners choose their favorite topics from fiction and non-fiction content, then take tests to assess their understanding. (free with in-app purchases) Spellbee: Spelling Bee Games is a spelling and vocabulary app for grades 1-9 with over 70,000 words. Learners can play games and study words by grade level or topic to develop spelling skills and compete on a global leaderboard. (free with in-app purchases) A+ Spelling Bee English Words is an app for young learners to work on spelling skills. Learners can choose difficulty and mode, then drag letters to make the word for the picture. (free with in-app purchases) January / February 2022 | OurKidsMagazine.com

Follow the Leader:

Ways to Instill Leadership Qualities in Kids Kids who have well developed leadership skills are more confident, responsible, and push themselves to their full potential. Leadership helps them develop better and more creative coping skills when it comes to problem solving and project management. The art of compromise, empathy, and good decision making skills, things most parents strive to teach their children, are also important benefits of having well developed leadership skills. For some children, leadership comes naturally and for others it must be developed and encouraged over time. Either way, parents can help develop their child’s leadership qualities so that when they are ready to attend college and enter the workforce, leading others and knowing when to follow someone else’s lead are already second nature.

Set an example Parents can help their kids develop good leadership by showing them what a good leader looks like on a daily basis. When you lead others, including your own children, try to be optimistic, a good listener, treat people fairly, and do the right thing. Your kids will learn these skills simply by modeling your good example.

Set them up for success Kids who are successful at the things they try are more confident and are more willing to get out of their comfort zone and help others in the future. You can do this by encouraging them to try activities where they have natural strengths and talent or assist them in projects just enough to help them succeed while still allowing them the majority of the decision and work the project entails. Build communication skills Listening and good communication are keys to making a leader successful and well liked by peers. Encourage your child to put their communication skills into practice by developing listening skills, public speaking, and expressing their frustrations in a healthy way. Parents can do this by asking your child to order their own food at a restaurant, encouraging them to approach coaches or teachers themselves when there is a problem, and teaching them to ask questions after listening to a friend talking. Be a team player School projects, team sports, clubs, or being a part of a

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band, orchestra, or choir helps kids understand how to work towards a goal as a group. These experiences help your child understand how to be a good leader and when to listen to others and why both are equally important.

Encourage lifelong skills Integrity, empathy, work ethic, respect, negotiation, and compromise are great skills for any leader, as well as, any student, employee, or friend. You can encourage these skills by setting a good example and talking through situations where they were or were not utilized well. Ask your child how they would have handled this differently and why. Praise them when they have done a good job using these skills and encourage them when needed. Show them the value of diversity There is great value in diversity. Everyone has different backgrounds, experiences, and gifts. Encourage your kids to learn about other cultures and experiences and that differences are what make us a stronger team. They can learn to stand up to those who are singled out or viewed as different from others. This is what makes a great leader. Ask for help Kids who know when to problem solve and when to ask for guidance are better teammates and stronger leaders. It’s also important to offer help to others in the group who may

be struggling. Lead by example and be encouraging and helpful when needed.

Develop good work habits Kids who have responsibilities at a young age are better prepared to lead others. Encourage your child to get a part time job at a young age or pick up jobs like yard work, babysitting, or volunteer work so they can build their leadership skills, develop their work ethic, and get experience in a variety of areas. Time management When your child has a large project to complete, encourage them to map out their plan for getting it done on-time. Create steps and set goals to accomplish to meet the deadline. Good project management skills will serve them well as a leader and an employee in the future. As your child develops strong leadership skills, it’s important to understand that they will not always be the person in charge. Having good leadership skills doesn’t mean you are always the one who is leading. Being respectful and willing to listen to others and compromise while not officially being the person who is “in charge” of the group is still a way to lead others. Whether your child is a natural leader or a great teammate, these leadership skills will serve them well in the future. Sarah Lyons is a Widestern mom of six, including triplets. She enjoys writing, reading, and spending time outside with her kids.

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SCHOOLS Anne Frank Inspire Academy 11216 Bandera Road, San Antonio, TX 78250 Elementary School - (210) 638-5910 Middle & High School - (210) 638-5900 AnneFrankIA.com Anne Frank Inspire Academy - NW Military, inside the Barshop JCC, is a free, public charter school opening this fall with grades kindergarten through 2nd, eventually serving through 8th grade. Our 100%-certified teachers inspire our small, safe, and modern classrooms of students to find joy in learning through an empowering inquiry-based curriculum, help uncover their inherent strengths, and lead children in discovering new skills to be great! Apply today! www.AnneFrankIA.com/ admissions BASIS Texas Charter Schools Five San Antonio locations media@basised.com enrollBASIStx.com 5 San Antonio locations enrollBASISTX.com BASIS Charter Schools are world-class, tuitionfree public charter schools serving grades K–12. BASIS Texas Charter Schools is the top-performing district in San Antonio. Our newest campus, BASIS San Antonio Jack Lewis Jr campus is located near Sea World and will be opening in August 2022. Each school offers our STEM-infused liberal arts curriculum, a well-balanced variety of

advanced academic courses, and a wide range of extracurricular activities. Students in the primary grades benefit from our dynamic co-teaching model. Find your BASIS Texas Charter School campus today at enrollBASISTX.co

Bexar County Academy Charter School 1485 Hillcrest Dr. San Antonio, TX 78228 210-432-8600 www.bexarcountyacademy.org Bexar County Academy is a TUITION FREE charter school, serving grades Pre-K3 to 8th grade. At Bexar County Academy Charter School our mission is to provide an Academia Environment that prepares students to function as Entrepreneurs, Workers, and Citizens in a Globalized World. Our blended-learning model provides our scholars with the opportunity to develop entrepreneurial and life skills not often offered in traditional public-school districts. Our life skills-based curriculum provides the tools to develop character, creative, critical, and innovative thinking. Apply Today! www.enroll.bexarcountyacademy.com Bright Ideas Enrichment Center 9433 Fredericksburg Rd. San Antonio, 78240 210-694-4622 brightideasdaycare.com We realize that each child is unique with a specific set of needs. It is our sincere desire to accept the challenge and work toward the goal of meeting each of those needs. We offer Infant and Toddler

care, Pre-K 3 and Pre-K 4 and Private Kindergarten, with breakfast, lunch and afternoon snack provided. We also offer Swimming lessons, Ballet, Gymnastics, Karate and Spanish for Tots.

Brooks Academies of Texas 4802 Vance Jackson Road 210-541-0051 brooksacademy.org Brooks Academies is a premiere tuition-free public charter school with four campuses located in San Antonio. We serve grades PreK through 12 with a variety of specialized programs: STEM, Dual Language, Fine Arts, Sports Leadership and Management. Virtual Instruction Program available to all students who qualify. Please contact us today to find the right fit for your child. Applications are available for the 2022-2023 school year. Please visit our website for more information. Cardinal Montessori Academy 6506 W Hausman Rd San Antonio, TX 78249 (210) 558-3627 www.cardinalma.com We offer an authentic Montessori experience with an emphasis on S.T.E.A.M. in beautiful, clean, and prepared classrooms. Our curriculum follows the child, focusing on their individual needs and interests. Our school day is structured with a fair amount of fun, excitement, and free play mixed in!

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Colonial Hills United Methodist School 5247 Vance Jackson San Antonio, TX 78230 210-349-1092 www.chums-sa.com “Where Play is Purposeful and Children are the Priority” Now enrolling for the 2022-2023 school year, 18 months - Kindergarten. Our mission is to provide a safe, loving environment that nurtures and develops the whole child; socially, emotionally, physically, spiritually & intellectually. Our curriculum is play based emphasizing hands-on activities and discovery methods of learning. Contact our office at 210-349-1092 or visit our website at www.chums-sa. com to schedule your school tour, learn more about our programs and view our classrooms. Cornerstone Christian Schools 17702 NW Military Hwy San Antonio, TX 78257 210-979-9203 sa-ccs.org At Cornerstone Christian Schools we put Christ at the center of everything we do, striving to teach our children to accomplish everything with excellence and molding them into tomorrow’s leaders. CCS offers a rigorous faith-based education and countless avenues for children to participate and excel in academics, athletics, and fine arts while pursuing their goals with distinction and honor. Call 210-9799203 or visit sa-ccs.org and make an appointment for your personal tour today! It would be a privilege to welcome your family to CCS!

Country Home Learning Center 210-687-1002 www.countryhome learningcenter.com Quality childcare 6 weeks – 13 years. Students enjoy our water park, indoor playground, putt-putt golf course, and gymnasium. After school care with pick-up from area schools available. Check out our website for location near you. Democracy Prep at the Stewart Campus 1950 Rigsby Ave 210-438-6875 https://dpsc.democracyprep.org/ Democracy Prep at the Stewart Campus serves scholars from Pre-K through 8th grade in Southeast San Antonio. We work to ensure that every child has the opportunity to attend the college of their choice and pursue a life of active citizenship. We offer twoway dual language programming, visual arts, theatre, and a selection of middle school electives. Fusion Academy 227 North Loop 1604 East, Suite 100 San Antonio, TX 78232 Phone: 210-510-0203 FusionSanAntonio.com Fusion Academy, the nation’s most engaging private school, is now open in San Antonio and is enrolling middle and high school students for the current school year. Across Texas and the U.S., our personalized education transforms the lives of students and their families. Our premium, one-

to-one instruction, combined with digital and peer learning, helps students thrive academically, socially, and emotionally. For more information, visit FusionSanAntonio.com or call 210-510-0203.

Jubilee Academies 4434 Roland Road San Antonio, Texas 78222 210-333-6227 Jubileeacademies.org A Better Approach to Public Education! Serving Pre-K(4) - Graduation; offering College Credit, Career Readiness and Character Development. There are six Jubilee locations in San Antonio – call for the one nearest you.

KIPP Texas Public Schools San Antonio kipptexas.org 210-880-8080 KIPP Texas Public schools focuses on protecting the health and safety of our students, staff, and families to the fullest extent possible. Provides our students with an academically excellent, joyful, and equitable learning experience with a consistent focus on college readiness regardless of whether we are inside or outside of our school buildings. Show care for our entire Team & Family so we can thrive in the new normal.

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Positive Solutions High School 1325 N. Flores, Suite 100 San Antonio, TX 78212 210-299-1025 www.facebook.com/positivesolutionshighschool Brief Description: Positive Solutions High School, chartered by the State of Texas in 1998, is an open enrollment charter school offering an accelerated high school diploma program for grades 9-12 as well as a GED program (4 hour sessions available in AM or PM). Positive Solutions High School students will succeed academically and in society. Pre-K Academy at West Avenue North East Independent School District 3915 West Avenue San Antonio, TX 78213 210-407-8600 www.neisd.net/prekacademy A recently renovated campus dedicated solely to prekindergarten students. Each classroom has a certified teacher and an instructional assistant. Students learn important skills through exploratory play and age-appropriate steps for resolving conflicts. We have a full-time physical education teacher, music teacher, librarian, STEAM teacher, counselor, family specialist, registered nurse, and instructional coach for our teachers. We offer a two-way dual language program, transportation service, and after-school care.

Pre-K 4 SA North 210-206-2800 East 210-206-2850 South 210-206-2700 West 210-206-2900 https://prek4sa.com/ Pre-K 4 SA is San Antonio’s premier pre-kindergarten program that is changing the educational and workforce trajectory of our city in one generation. Pre-K 4 SA offers full and extended-day prekindergarten for 4-year-olds in San Antonio. With four Education Centers with stringent safety protocols, as well as a distance learning model, Pre-K 4 SA supports a foundation in concepts like math, science, language, and art through a playbased learning environment. Contactless Application Process. Apply now! San Antonio Independent School District 1931 E. Houston St, San Antonio, TX 78202 (210) 554-2660 www.experiencesaisd.com At San Antonio ISD, we believe that all children should have access to best-fit school options regardless of their academic abilities or where they live. SAISD is the District of Choice for FREE Fullday PreK, Dual Language, No-Cost College & Career Prep, and more. With the most PK-12 school options and the highest achievement gains of any district in Texas, San Antonio ISD offers something for everyone. SAISD: A Family of Schools for All Families!

Shepherd of the Hills Lutheran School & Child Care 6914 Wurzbach Rd. MEDICAL CENTER San Antonio TX 78240 210-614-3741 www.shlutheran.org Shepherd of the Hills is a Christ-centered, family focused, community dedicated to serving children ages Infants through Grade 8. We provide a faithbased, fully accredited educational program in addition to a state-licensed Early Childhood Center. In accordance with state education and healthcare guidelines, we plan to begin the 2022-2023 school year in August, with children in classes on campus! We are currently enrolling for the fall! Call today! Southwest Preparatory Schools 4 Campuses listed below 210-829-8017 www.swprep.org Southwest Preparatory School is an open enrollment - tuition free charter school serving grades PreK-12 with four campuses in San Antonio and Seguin. All four campuses have current plans to include both remote and in-person learning options for students for the 2020-21 school year. Enrollment is now open at www.swprep.org. St. Matthew Catholic School 10703 Wurzbach Rd. San Antonio, TX 78230 (210) 478-5099 www.smcssa.org St. Matthew Catholic School is dedicated to the

New San Antonio Campus Now Enrolling

In a one-to-one class the only student who matters is you. At Fusion Academy, we’ve transformed the way students learn with the nation’s most engaging education for middle and high school students. With our Flex learning model, students experience a mix of three learning formats: • One-to-one learning • Small group, project-based learning • Asynchronous digital learning

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mission of educating a strong, faith-centered community through a commitment to the spiritual, moral, intellectual, social and physical development of each child. Register now for Pre-K – 8th grade.

St. Peter Prince of Apostles School 112 Marcia Place San Antonio, TX 78209 210-824-3171 stpeterprince.org St. Peter Prince of Apostles School in Alamo Heights has on-campus and virtual class options for the 20202021 school year. Ideal class sizes for distancing and outstanding parent reviews during distance learning. Call today for more information!

St. Pius X Catholic School 7 734 Robin Rest San Antonio, Texas 78209 210-824-6431 spxsa.school Since 1959, our school has been committed to the development of the whole child with a focus on intellectual rigor, spiritual growth, and the social, moral, emotional, and physical development of each child. Our welcoming environment is a safe place for children to spread their wings and learn. We serve students in Pre-K 3 through eighth grade. Our students are well prepared for the challenges of high school and beyond.

Suburban School 210-696-0213 5409 Encino Park Road general@suburbanschool.com www.suburbanschool.com Suburban School, a place where children can learn in a unique, natural setting and are encouraged to become independent, caring individuals. Suburban School exceeds State Minimum Standards and follows national accreditation (NECPA and NAEYC) guidelines. Suburban School embodies a relaxed, comfortable learning atmosphere with an emphasis on our outdoor environment to enhance gross motor development. We believe that a happy and successful childhood with clear expectations leads to a positive self-image. Our program is designed to be age level

Excellence in learning, living, and serving

S . Matthew CATHOLIC SCHOOL

• Infant Care • Pre-School Programs • Music & Gymnastics • Private Kindergarten • Karate • Spanish • Ballet • Swimming

Located near USAA and the Medical Center.

210-478-5099 210-478-5044 www.smcssa.org

9433 Fredericksburg Monday - Friday 210-694-4622 6:15 a.m. - 6:30 p.m. www.brightideasdaycare.com

Excellence in learning, living, and serving Near USAA & the Medical Center

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SCATHOLIC . Matthew SCHOOL C

CMY

Offering a Christ-Centered Education through Academics, Fine Arts & Athletics

210-478-5044 www.smcssa.org

W A R R I O AreR Made S

WHERE

Schedule a tour at sa-cc cs.org/VisitUs

17702 NW Military Hwy | 210-929-9203 January / February 2022 | OurKidsMagazine.com

appropriate, blending traditional and progressive styles of learning. We use hands-on experiences and learning centers to encourage creativity and a better understanding of concepts. Time is spent learning in a group setting as well as one-to-one with a teacher.

Sunshine Cottage 603 E. Hildebrand San Antonio, TX 78212 (210) 824-0579 www.sunshinecottage.org Sunshine Cottage offers a listening and spoken language environment for all children with hearing impairment as well as for typically hearing children. Sunshine Cottage provides students the opportunity to excel and experience new learning adventures each day. Pre-school through fifth grade. TTU K-12 PO Box 42191 2515 15th Street Lubbock, TX 79409 800-692-6877 k12.ttu.edu TTU K-12 is a Texas Education Agency and National Collegiate Athletic Association-approved kindergarten through 12th grade school. The fully online diploma track and individual course options meet the same standards as traditional schools. TTU K-12 also offers credit by exams and bulk testing, helping students achieve their goals – anytime, anywhere!

The Circle School 217 Pershing Ave. (near the Witte Museum) San Antonio, TX 78209 (210) 822-0461 http://www.thecircleschool.org This PK3-8th grade family cooperative combines academic excellence with a nature-based education model. The distinctive curriculum bridges the arts and sciences and includes gardening, sustainability, oral storytelling, and respectful conflict resolution encouraging empathy and compassion. On-campus instruction provided with small classes, maximized outdoor time, and evidence-based safety policies. Distance learning options available and classes are prepared to pivot to different models. Virtual Info Session for interested families - details and registration on website.

The International Baccalaureate Schools of the San Antonio ISD Nine, centrally located IB and IB Candidate schools IB@saisd.net, www.saisd.net/ib San Antonio ISD’s International Baccalaureate (IB) Schools are tuition-free, in-district charter schools offering innovative, rigorous education with a global perspective. IB Programmes are known around the world for their focus on the personal development of all students. Limited seats are still available. Apply now at www.saisdchoice.com. Elementary Schools (PreK-5th): Briscoe, Huppertz* and Woodlawn Hills*; Academies (PK/K-8th): Woodlawn and Fenwick*; Middle Schools: Harris and Longfellow; High Schools: Burbank and Jefferson. (*IB Candidate school). The Montessori School of San Antonio 210-492-3553 17722 Rogers Ranch Pkwy San Antonio Texas 78258 www.montessoriSA.org At the Montessori School of San Antonio, we guide children to be passionate learners, independent thinkers and engaged citizens. We partner with parents, guiding students to achieve their full potential in academic, social, physical, intellectual, aesthetic and moral development from early childhood through adolescence. The Winston School San Antonio 8565 Ewing Halsell Drive San Antonio, Texas 78229 (210) 615-6544 www.winston-sa.org Winston is a college preparatory school for students with learning differences, including but not limited to ADHD, dyslexia, and dysgraphia. Teachers focus on providing a personalized education to every student. Winston is continuing with plans to open the school for in-person classes this fall, and will be adhering to all safety and health guidelines.

SPECIAL NEEDS AdBAnce Behavioral Health ABA Therapy 844-568-2001 www.AdBAnce.com ABA Therapy can help students with Special Needs to maintain and generalize skills already learned. ABA

Phonics - Reading - Writing Composition Phonics - Writing Composition Math --Reading Handwriting - STAAR Prep. Math Handwriting STAAR Prep. Phonics Reading Writing Composition Phonics Reading Writing Phonics - Reading --Phonics Writing - Reading -Composition Writing Composition ADD - ADHD -Phonics Dyslexia ---Reading ESL -Composition -Autism Writing Composition Phonics --Reading - Writing Composition Math Handwriting STAAR Prep. Math Handwriting STAAR Prep. ADD ADHD Dyslexia ESL Autism Math Handwriting STAAR Prep. Math Handwriting STAAR Prep. - Handwriting - STAAR Phonics - Reading - Writing Composition MathMath - Handwriting - STAAR Prep.Prep. ADD - ADHD - -Dyslexia - ESL - Autism Exp. 1:1 Pre-K to 8th Grade ADD ADHD Dyslexia ESL Autism ADD ADHD Dyslexia ESL Autism ADD ADHD Dyslexia ESL - Autism ADD ADHD Dyslexia ESL Autism Math - Exp. Handwriting STAAR ADD -Prep. ADHD 1:1 -- Pre-K to 8th- Dyslexia Grade- ESL - Autism

can also be used as a teaching tool and a preventative tool to address challenging behaviors.

Sunshine Cottage 603 E. Hildebrand San Antonio, TX 78212 (210) 824-0579 www.sunshinecottage.org Sunshine Cottage offers a listening and spoken language environment for all children with hearing impairment as well as for typically hearing children. Sunshine Cottage provides students the opportunity to excel and experience new learning adventures each day. Pre-school through fifth grade. The Clowvazar Academy (210) 690-4800 12746 Cimarron Path #120 San Antonio TX 78249 www.clowvazar.com The Clowvazar Academy is a private year-round school for kids with learning differences. Students are placed in each subject according to ability, not by age. We accept students with a wide range of struggles in three broad programs: General Ed., Special Ed. and Gifted-and-Talented students. We work with kids with anxiety, ADD, ADHD, mild Autism, Autism and other learning challenges. With a wide range of electives, including Culinary Arts, Fine Arts, and Job Readiness Internships, our students are given amazing opportunities to excel in different ways.

TUTORING Inspiring Excellence 210-722-4947 InspiringExcellenceTutoring.com With affordability in mind, I teach step-by-step methods, helping my students learn effective strategies to improve their confidence and become independent learners. I begin each session with a fun review to make learning an enjoyable experience! Clowvazar After School Tutoring 210-690-4800 12746 Cimarron Path #120 San Antonio TX 78249 www.clowvazar.com We provide One-on-One tutoring for kids with high functioning autism, dyslexia, dyscalculia et cetera. Tutoring & Coaching sessions available for both Students and Parents. We provide comprehensive assessment and affordable packages.

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Our Kids Magazine | January / February 2022

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January / February 2022 | OurKidsMagazine.com

5 Reasons Maternity Leave is NOT a Vacation By Pam Moore

If you think of vacation as a time to rest, recharge, and rejuvenate, maternity leave is not the spa retreat for you. I hate to burst anyone’s bubble, but it’s better for everyone if we get the facts straight. Look into the eyes of a woman who has given birth in the last six weeks. That is if you can find one. With Amazon, Netflix, and Instacart, there’s no reason to ever leave the house with a newborn.

1| Total exhaustion is the worst Peer beyond her glasses (she can’t deal with contacts) and you will see a roadmap of angry red veins. Mom hasn’t slept more than three consecutive hours since the baby was born. The mauve circles under her eyes? Yes, she knows about concealer. No, she’s too exhausted to attend your wine and mini-facials party this weekend. Do you have an Olympic sized pool of concealer she can splash around in? She would love that, except her doctor said no swimming until her episiotomy heals. 2| Hemorrhoids are insanely painful While recovering from childbirth, you will not be able to fully take advantage of all the fun activities Destination Maternity has to offer. While episiotomies are no longer routine in U.S. hospitals, there is no dearth of physical ailments to stand between a new mom and her total enjoyment of her maternity leave. Her hemorrhoids may make childbirth feel like a breeze, compared to the pain of taking a post-partum shit. Or perhaps her perineum tore during labor. If she’s lucky, she’s recovering as nicely as she can be, with a few stitches in her lady bits. If she’s not, the stitches were botched or became infected. Then there are the tears 16

Our Kids Magazine | January / February 2022

that even stitches can’t completely fix. We’re talking about bladder and, in rare instances, stool incontinence.

3| Recovering from childbirth is a huge deal And let’s not forget about all the other goblins threatening mom’s relaxation. While most women are familiar with the epidural, only a select few are acquainted with the rare but serious risks they carry, including debilitating headaches, severe back pain, bladder dysfunction, and prolonged leg weakness. C-sections bring their own risks, but even under the best of circumstances, plan on taking six weeks to recover from this major surgery. At this point, the unpaid “vacation” you’re guaranteed under the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) is half over. That is if your employer is required by law to hold your job during your leave. If you work for a small business you risk having no job to come back to when your “vacation” is over. 4| Motherhood is actually not relaxing at all If you think of vacation as a mental break, you will be punching your computer when you try, in vain, to give Hotel Maternity a negative star rating. Between sleep deprivation, altered brain chemistry and the fact that a human now depends on you for survival… Good luck getting into that trashy novel you tossed in your beach tote. Up to 20% of women experience postpartum depression and related disorders, like postpartum anxiety and postpartum psychosis. Meanwhile, that statistic is based on self-reports, so the number is probably higher. Signs and symptoms of postpartum mood disorders include but are not limited to feeling overwhelmed, guilty, anxious, or angry to the point of rage, fantasizing LIKE US @ facebook.com/OurKidsMagazineSA

about running away, a compulsion to be busy, having no appetite, being unable to stop eating, insomnia, or barely being able to stay awake to complete basic tasks. And that’s just a sampler of the myriad selections available at the post-partum mood and anxiety disorder buffet. Are you ready to grab a plate yet? If you relish your vacation as a time to pamper yourself, your trip to Maternity Leave is 100% guaranteed to disappoint. Because this little break is all about keeping your baby alive. Don’t let their small size fool you. Newborns are really frickin’ needy.

5| Feeding and changing the baby alone could be a full-time gig Fun fact: Newborns need to eat every two to three hours. That’s assuming they’re formula-fed. Between the time you spend preparing the bottle, feeding the baby, burping the baby, and washing the bottle, you’re looking at a minimum of thirty minutes devoted baby feeding, at least eight times a day. At minimum, that’s four hours per day. Also, formula is expensive and there is no allinclusive option at the Maternity Resort. Meanwhile, according to La Leche League International the breastfed baby nurses up to twelve times a day for 20-45 minutes at a time. On the plus side, a nursing mom never needs to spend time washing and sterilizing her nipples. This is good because she probably can’t tolerate contact between her tender nipples and anything that is not depending on them for survival. New moms frequently experience cracking, chafing, bleeding, and scabbing of their nipples for anywhere from a few days to a few weeks. And that’s when things are going well. If you’re starting to feel like Maternity Leave is just the vacation for you, here’s another fun fact: A typical newborn poops eight to ten times a day. Your friends may be worried that you died since they never hear from you, so do them a favor and pop a postcard from Maternity Land in the mail between feedings and diaper changes. If you prefer a staycation, six weeks of Maternity Leave might be right up your alley. You can expect to be staying home, staying exhausted, staying un-showered, and staying barely sane. Pam Moore is an award-winning freelance health and fitness writer, occupational therapist, and certified personal trainer. She’s also the host of the Real Fit podcast. To get her free guide to crushing Impostor Syndrome visit pam-moore.com

January / February 2022 | OurKidsMagazine.com

Feature

The 4 Love Actions: Attention, Acceptance, Appreciation & Affection By Christina Katz

Just because you have a family, does not mean you have a close family. Parents with bonded families cultivate a safe, secure environment so everyone in the family can relax, feel their feelings, and love each other. When you create a caring environment within your home, your family will connect and thrive regardless of what is going on in the outside world. However, if you establish an environment where emotions cannot be expressed, family members may struggle to feel loved, lovable, and loving. The four actions of love have nothing to do with gender, race, class, or social status. They are simply a conscious choice to create a loving family context no matter what. Children who don’t get their emotional needs met tend to become adults who seek external fixes for internal needs. Since love is an inside job, unfortunately this never works. Kids who do not experience enough love within the family unit are likely to become grown-ups who struggle as they move out into the world. If talking about love makes you feel uncomfortable, you may not have grown up in a family where emotional values were openly expressed and appreciated. Even so, it’s never too late to cultivate a loving family. The best way to teach kids how to love themselves, so they can smoothly transition from childhood to adulthood, is to actively practice the four love actions with yourself and then with each member of your family. When parents consciously set a loving tone, everyone in the family benefits.

Attention is a basic human need. Babies who don’t get enough observant care, cannot thrive. A child who does not get noticed enough may have trouble acknowledging his feelings. Attention from parents is what helps us learn how to take care of ourselves. When we don’t give ourselves adequate attention, it’s easy to become drained and depleted. You can’t activate your personal power without paying attention to yourself. Paying attention to ourselves means putting ourselves first and staying constantly aware of our feelings and impulses, so we can steer our way appropriately through life. If you feel out of touch with this love action, start with self-attention and then take time to observe those closest to you. When you do, you’ll intuitively know what to say and do. 18

Our Kids Magazine | January / February 2022

Acceptance is what allows us to relax and be ourselves. Without validation from parents, a child cannot learn self-acceptance. A child who feels rejected by her parents will reject herself and eventually also reject others. Children need unconditional love, so they can learn to ride the wide spectrum of feelings that come with life. Emotions make us human, and acceptance is what allows feelings to pass through us without taking over the entire show. Parents need to take care not to project unwanted or feared qualities onto babies and children. When parents can accept and process their feelings on an ongoing basis, children do not have to carry burdens that do not belong to them. If you feel out of touch with this love action, work on self-acceptance and then extend an accepting attitude to your loved ones. You’ll quickly see how allowing formerly rejected parts of yourself leads to more tolerance of others. Appreciation makes us feel like we have something to offer. When parents enjoy a child, a fuller person comes to life and feels safe to share more authentically. When we appreciate ourselves, we can face the world with more optimism and cheer. Appreciation leads to gratitude, but it’s hard to appreciate yourself when you have not felt understood. Without a sense of our own worth, it’s difficult for us to appreciate others. Appreciation must be genuine, of course. Without attention and acceptance, appreciation cannot follow. If you feel out of touch with this love action, start with self-appreciation and then try valuing your loved ones more. The wonderful thing is that as soon as you practice the art of LIKE US @ facebook.com/OurKidsMagazineSA

appreciation, you feel better immediately, even if you are out of practice.

Affection warms our hearts and helps us feel connected to others. When we experience fondness from others, we can love ourselves more easily. Affection can be communicated by words, gestures, and touch. Saying, “I love you,” doing thoughtful things, holding hands, and offering hugs expresses our internal feelings of fondness towards another. Affection builds on attention, acceptance, and appreciation. It’s always a little weird when someone goes from distant to trying to hug you. So make sure you lay the groundwork with your kids first. And always be respectful with older children about touching. If they don’t want to be touched, find other ways to show affection until they come around. If you feel out of touch with this love action, start with self-affection and then gradually express more warmth for your family. Affection is always win-win, benefitting both the hugger and the hugged. Parenting can be complicated. But choosing loving actions on an ongoing basis can bring parenting back to simple yet powerful basics. Activate the power of the four love actions in your home and watch the immediate positive effect they have on you, on your family, and on the world. Author, journalist, and writing coach Christina Katz is not fond of clichés. She likes to break them down and make them spill their secrets.

Self-care For Parents Self-love is a phrase that has become a cliché. What does it really mean? When we break self-love down into the four love actions, suddenly we know what we need to do in order to love our self and others more. Self-attention means self-awareness, self-reflection, slowing down and turning within. Paying attention to what is happening within us in the moment. Not taking immediate action but just making time for contemplation. Self-acceptance means letting go of guilt, shame, and needless suffering. Appreciating what we feel, think, and believe. Recognizing things that annoy us and working on resolving them in ways that honor our boundaries. Self-appreciation means celebrating our positives. Paying attention to the fact that we are good, we do good, and we deserve to feel even better. Relishing our uniqueness and individual self-expression. Letting go of what others think and cultivating healthy self-regard. Self-affection means active self-care. Paying attention to what we need and want and being open to receiving those things on an ongoing basis. Rewarding our self for no reason, letting more good in, and loving ourselves steadily in a sometimes chaotic world.

1-on-1 In-Home ABA Therapy AdBAnce – Behavioral Health provides ABA therapy to individuals of all ages in the Autism Spectrum Disorder and with other special needs. By using the principles of ABA, we strive to improve the quality of life of our clients and their families. We accept all major insurances.

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January / February 2022 | OurKidsMagazine.com

Birthdays on a Budget: Reuse and Repurpose Birthday Decor By Sarah Lyons

Every parent wants their child’s birthday to be special but affordable for your photo backdrop. There are also fun apps the cost of throwing a party can really add up, especially if you that allow you to put in different backdrops if you use a green have multiple children. Is it really possible to cut party costs background. Photos taken in the photo booth can double as without losing the fun and excitement that parents and kids thank you cards for your guests. alike have come to love? One way to cut down on costs is by Money can be saved on tableware in a few different ways. purchasing birthday supplies that can be reused or repurposed Cloth tablecloths and plastic plates can be washed and used year after year. again. They will last for years with a one time investment. If The easiest way to start saving on party decor is to stock the thought of extra cleanup doesn’t appeal to you, try buying up on items when they are on sale or clearance. Choose items a giant roll of white butcher paper and unrolling on the table that are not theme specific and select a variety of colors that to be used as a tablecloth. Allow kids to color right on the are gender neutral. Basic birthday signs, party lanterns, and tablecloth during the party. When the party’s over, simply roll photo backdrops can be reused again and again. You can even up the paper and toss it. One roll of paper will last for years make your own decor out of stronger materials like cardstock and because of neutral color it can be used for many holidays or cardboard or hit up the dollar store for streamers and signs and birthdays. that can be used repeatedly. As you collect a stash of items, Once the party’s over, theme-specific party decorations store it someplace that is organized and easily accessible when can be repurposed in many ways. Cards and invitations can the next birthday arrives. be made into wall art, ornaments, gift tags, or garland. Crepe Purchase games that can be used every year like bingo, paper and napkins can be made into confetti or garland. Old bean bag toss, or yard games. These games are fun for any ribbons and balloons can be used to make a festive wreath. party and will see a return on your investment quickly. The key to saving money by reusing or repurposing party Chalkboards for birthday signs, cake stands, and punch bowls decor is to get creative. Scour the internet or Pinterest for can also be purchased once and used for many parties. ideas, shop smart by buying generic birthday items on sale, or You can also buy dress up items that can be used for a create your own decor from things you have around the house. photo booth year after year such as hats, silly glasses, feather Once you have your basic party decor, add small touches to boas, or masks. Kids of any age will have a great time posing in help create a fun birthday theme. Try to find items that can different costumes. Many of these items can be purchased at a be used more than once. For example, animals from a Noah’s dollar store, garage sales, or may be layingEaround ark party njoy the your fun ofhouse. learning jum p ro pe frocould m the be reused for a zoo or circus themed party at a omfort of your owlater n hom e. Choose a basic birthday backdrop for your photocbooth date. A little creativity can make for a fun, affordable, and Learn Skills, Get Fit & Stay Active! or use a plain sheet or tablecloth to keep things simple and environmentally conscious birthday party your child will love. All Spring Zoom Classes Free

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Our Kids Magazine | January / February 2022

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CALENDAR OF EVENTS Disclaimer: Due to Covid, event dates, times and details are subject to change. Always double check by phone, website or Facebook for event updates. January 5

January 28

Art Crawl: Fast and Slow: Cultivate, nurture, and inspire creativity in toddlers through stories, gallery activities, handson art, movement, and music. 10 to 10:45 a.m. San Antonio Museum of Art, 200 W. Jones Ave. 210-978-8100. https://www. samuseum.org

Miss Anastasia’s Wild and Wacky Pre-Weekend TWIGLET Story Time: Miss Anastasia combines story time and a delightful craft each Friday. Free. 10:30 a.m. to noon. Twig Book Shop in the Can Plant Building, 306 Pearl Parkway Ste. 106. 210-826-6411. http://www.thetwig.com/miss-anastasia

January 7

January 11 Art Crawl: My Sky: Museum experiences for 0–24 months and caregivers with art selections that enhance caregiver-child interactions. 5 to 7 a.m. San Antonio Museum of Art, 200 W. Jones Ave. 210-978-8100. https://www.samuseum.org

January 13 Art Crawl: My Sky: Museum experiences for 0–24 months and caregivers with art selections that enhance caregiver-child interactions. 10 to 10:45 a.m. San Antonio Museum of Art, 200 W. Jones Ave. 210-978-8100. https://www.samuseum.org

January 14

January 17

January 17 Martin Luther King Jr. Day January 19 Art Crawl: Searching for Shapes: Cultivate, nurture, and inspire creativity in toddlers through stories, gallery activities, handson art, movement, and music. 10 to 10:45 a.m. San Antonio Museum of Art, 200 W. Jones Ave. 210-978-8100. https://www. samuseum.org

January 21

February 2 Art Crawl: Greek Out!: Cultivate, nurture, and inspire creativity in toddlers through stories, gallery activities, hands-on art, movement, and music.. 10 to 10:45 a.m. San Antonio Museum of Art, 200 W. Jones Ave. 210-978-8100. https://www.samuseum.org

February 3

Outdoor Screening: In the Heights: S 6:30 pm – 9:00 pm Front Lawn, FREE. Set in the Washington Heights neighborhood of New York City, this musical reveals a close-knit, predominantly Dominican community united in their pursuit of the ‘American Dream’.Beforehand, check out a scale maquette of In the Heights by Tony-nominated designer Anna Louizos on view in current exhibition Street Scene: Cities on Stage. Blankets, snacks, and lawn chairs welcome. Registration required for this free event; space is limited. https://www.mcnayart.org/event/ outdoor-screening-in-the-heights/

February 8 Art Crawl: I Love Red: Museum experiences for 0–24 months and caregivers with art selections that enhance caregiver-child interactions. 5 to 6 p.m. San Antonio Museum of Art, 200 W. Jones Ave. 210-978-8100. https://www.samuseum.org

February 10 Art Crawl: I Love Red: Museum experiences for 0–24 months and caregivers with art selections that enhance caregiver-child interactions. 10 to 10:45 a.m. San Antonio Museum of Art, 200 W. Jones Ave. 210-978-8100. https://www.samuseum.org

February 16 Playdates: Radiant Red: Cultivate, nurture, and inspire creativity in toddlers through stories, gallery activities, hands-on art, movement, and music. 10 to 10:45 a.m. San Antonio Museum of Art, 200 W. Jones Ave. 210-978-8100. https://www.samuseum.org

February 25

Family Flashlight Night: Bring your flashlight and experience the nocturnal side of the garden with the family. Explore the Botanical Garden by moonlight, find your way through the light maze, fun tours, hands-on activities. 6 – 8:30 p.m. Fee: Included with Garden admission and membership. San Antonio Botanical Garden, 555 Funston Pl. http://www.sabot.org/walks/ January / February 2022 | OurKidsMagazine.com

Expert Advice on How to Help Your Kids Do Chores By Cheryl Maguire

My kids’ rooms resemble a frat house. But instead of empty beer cans and pizza boxes, my kids have 10 water bottles and half-eaten peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches scattered throughout their space. Two of my three kids, ages 13 and 16 (twins), have always found it challenging to be organized, but recently they are all struggling. I know that parents have complained about their kids’ messy rooms forever. So how do you help kids who are having a hard time? I asked experts for their advice.

Think about your messaging “As adults, we grew up thinking chores were onerous. We feel oppressed by the amount of time we have to spend. And so we’re resentful as adults, as parents, of how much work it takes,” says Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist and author of “Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting.” And if we convey that resentment to our kids, she says, we can’t expect them to feel any better about chores. Instead, explain why chores matter. Alyse Bone, a clinical mental health counselor at Dandelion Family Counseling in Charlotte, suggests explaining that when you are organized you are better able to find things and feel less frustrated. “When things are clean, it makes you feel good inside.” Markham suggests explaining to your kids that chores are 22

Our Kids Magazine | January / February 2022

important because that is how you show respect and contribute to your family.

Let kids have a say Family meetings can be a time to discuss which household tasks need to be done, who will complete each one, why chores are important and what your expectations are. “When you allow your child to pick their chore, they feel more collaborative, it helps the child feel included, since they decided on this chore,” Bone says. Focus on time, not tasks Yuzu Sasaki Byrne, a professional organizer specializing in ADHD in Chicago, recommends the Pomodoro technique, making the chore time-limited instead of focusing on task completion. “Try spending five minutes cleaning your desk and see how much you can get done in that time-frame,” she says. For kids, you can use a timer to let them know that they’ve been cleaning their room for an hour, Bone says. This can help them to feel less overwhelmed. Be present For kids who are really struggling with focus, Sasaki Byrne recommends a technique intended for kids with ADHD: LIKE US @ facebook.com/OurKidsMagazineSA

the body double. The term, coined by ADHD coach Linda Anderson, refers to how your presence can serve as a physical anchor for the distracted child, as well as a source of calm while they perform a task. “Your presence helps them to focus,” Sasaki Byrne says.

Do your chores together When parents do chores with their children, they can create a sense of community while modeling responsible behaviors. “When we create a team for our family, kids will feel pride in their contribution,” Markham says. She recommends playing music and having a positive attitude. “At the end, you savor it so they see everything’s cleaned up and you say, ‘Let’s take a minute, let’s turn off the music and just enjoy the room for a moment.’ You’re making it a fun conversation about how everything has transformed, and they did it with your assistance,” she said. If your child is having trouble maintaining a clean room, offer to be their assistant. “That removes the power struggle. If your house is a mess, you wouldn’t want somebody to come in and say, ‘Do this, do that.’ You would love it if someone you trusted wouldn’t judge you and said, ‘Hey want me to be your assistant for an hour?’ ” Make your expectations clear Bone says that one reason kids may struggle with chores is

that parents may not have shown them exactly how to do the chore effectively. “Clean your room” may seem like an obvious task, but have you explained your definition of “clean”? “In their mind, all the clothes on the floor, and everything that’s scattered everywhere is clean and organized to them. Because they know where everything is at,” she said. A lack of clarity — and the inevitable faults parents find with the results — can make kids less willing to do the work out of fear of failure, Markham says. “Sometimes kids feel like it’s hard to do a good enough job or that they won’t please their parents,” she says.

Don’t give up As much as it might be easier to take the garbage out yourself or put their dirty dishes in the sink, you won’t be doing your kids any favors. “I think that chores are super important. It is an opportunity for kids to learn life skills and foster a sense of community. Their family is their first experience of a community,” says Sasaki Byrne. Cheryl Maguire holds a Master of Counseling Psychology degree. She is married and is the mother of twins and a daughter. Her writing has been published in The New York Times, The Washington Post, Parents Magazine, AARP, Healthline, Your Teen Magazine and many other publications. She is a professional member of ASJA. You can find her at Twitter @CherylMaguire05

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January / February 2022 | OurKidsMagazine.com