Sex in the Time of Covid-19

SEX IN THE TIME OF COVID19 MENS HEALTH

It seems that if you do not have a sexual partner, physical sex with someone who doesn’t live with you is out - maintaining social distance is what its all about... forget about dating apps, cruising spots and sex clubs ... if they are open you’ll be putting your life at risk ...

COVID-19 is real. And while it is not a sexually trans- mitted infection, the virus, which has been ruled a pan- demic by the World Health Organization, is certainly communicable. And it’s something that impacts sex lives — and specifically queer sex lives and hook-up culture.

As the country progresses with quarantines, whether selfinstructed or mandated by government officials, people have increasingly begun discussing what exactly that means in terms of sex. Some apps like Grindr have posted notices warning users of spreading the virus but many stopped short of telling anyone to stop hooking up..

In New York for example a directive was posted reading “All New Yorkers should stay home and minimize contact with others to reduce the spread of COVID-19.” But while the overall advice is to minimize contact, the paper does explain some ways to still engage in a bit of sexual relief.

“You are your safest sex partner,” the note explains. It’s been said before that masturbation is some of the safest sex you can have, and that extends to avoiding COVID-19. It’s even safer if you wash your hands and sex toys with soap and water before and after.

But if masturbation isn’t enough, “the next safest partner is someone you live with.” Keep it within the lockdown rules. If you’re lockeddown with people, you’re already exposed to them and are in close contact.

Outside of the lockdown though, hookups are out. People really shouldn’t be going over to someone else’s place to get together. The more one is outside and in different environments, the more exposure there is for either contracting or spreading the virus - whether someone knows they have it or not. Sneaking out every night (we have a curfew don’t forget!) - or every other night for that matter - to meet up with a different person or a different group of people to chat or even to have sex is not social distanc- ing. The point is to limit your in-person social interactions to as few as possible.

This doesn’t mean there aren’t ways to get off with someone else, there are video dates, sexting, and chat rooms. – Thank heavens for the internet!

As for transmitting the virus, the health departments emphasize that “kissing can easily pass COVID-19.” The virus has also been found in faeces. This means that rimming is also something to avoid at this time. It is advisable therefore to not have oral or anal contact with anyone especially anyone showing symptoms. Showering and hand-washing as well as sanitising anything you may have touched while having sex (or masturbating) is also important.

KEEPING FIT UNDER LOCKDOWN

With everyone having to stay home during the lockdown it is too easy to get into the habit of doing nothing and nibbling on endless treats ... it is important to maintain a healthy lifestyle and keep up with fitness levels.

Emerge from lockdown like a butterfly from a chrysalis...

1 GET SOCIAL

Never know what exercises to do? Want to exercise but don’t know quite what to do? Look no further than social media. Instagram is currently awash with #HomeWorkouts. From our favourite sporting stars to personal trainers, there are so many to choose from. They’re mainly short, sharp workouts and, looking at the hashtag, cater for a huge variety of fitness levels: from entry all the way up to hard cardio workouts.

No dumbbells? No worries. Tins of beans, loo roll (who has that spare?), and other household items all feature as equipment alternatives. Get scrolling!

2 ACTIVE HOUSEWORK

Kill 2 birds with 1 stone and get cleaning! Having to stay in so much, you’ll feel so much better in nice, clean surroundings.

Cleaning the windows? 150 calories in 30 minutes.

Gardening? Up to 200 calories for 30 minutes.

Cleaning the whole flat can be the equivalent of as much as an 8km run!

Even better, crank the tunes up and make it fun. Not only will you feel better for moving around, but you’ll also feel smug looking at the hoovered floor when you turn on Netflix in the evening.

3 TV WORKOUTS

Hark back to the 80’s and 90’s with some good old-fashioned workouts in front of the TV. Exercise led classes in front of the box are still a thing. There are heaps to choose from. From good old-school keep-fit routines like Jane Fonda’s classic workout (its on Youtube!) to yoga

or Zumba. Put on a sweatband and leg warmers to wear during your workout for that authentic 80’s look, pump up the volume and work up a sweat!.

4 GET APP-TASTIC

In these thoroughly modern times, of course there is an app for it. Again there are so many to choose from that will keep you inspired and healthy. Something as simple as the app Fiit – which has loads of instructor-led classes. It’s all there from stretching to butt-burning Hiit workouts. If you want to level up, you can join in on live classes and see your efforts on a live leaderboard (currently free to sign up).

If you have an exercise bike you can join online spin classes. Perhaps investigate turning your outdoor bike into a static one. Runners and cyclists can enjoy variety in their run or ride without even setting foot out of the house with the excellent Zwift (which costs a bit mind you!). This app gives you varied and interesting virtual routes to complete, all from the comfort of your own home. But we’re allowed out so get in your daily 5kms cycle or jog!

5 VIRTUAL RACES

There is nothing quite like the fresh air and, if we can, we should get outside. If you are new to running, try a brisk walk and jog 5 minutes on and off. Build up slowly. Put a bit of variety into your outside exercise by exploring a new route, or Fartlek training: running fast and then running slow between two points (one lamppost to the next).

For the more experienced runner out there, as all races are cancelled, there are plenty of virtual races to keep the motivation up. There’s nothing quite like having a goal to keep you going. (At a safe 2-metre distance from others!)

OUR BRAVE NEW WORLD OF ENTERTAINMENT

By Daniel Dercksen

On March 26 our world changed drastically, imploding our sensibility.

Social gatherings have become toxic, endearing hugs are forbidden, friends have become foes, and our world of entertainment has undergone a major facelift.

You truly understand the devastating blow of the Covidcrisis when you have the finale of Survivor done from a garage and the final three at their homes, the finale of Ru Pauls Drag Race done via zoom with each contestant under lockdown.

Nothing is what it was, but in a way, the lockdown has opened a floodgate of streaming on the entertainment front, with the world’s greatest theatres delivering operas, ballets, musicals and filmed live theatre that were unobtainable in pre-Covid 19.

Before lockdown we watched, now we stream and zoom from the safety of our homes, and get to know ourselves better.

The Metropolitan Opera has been streaming their massive opera repertoire since the end of March, offering classic telecasts featuring divas like Sutherland and Norman, as well as productions of 2019 and unforgettable grand opera gala where 40 of the world’s greatest singers sang their favourite arias from their houses all over the world; I can definitely vouch that my life has changed watching more than 30 operas the last two months and continues into June and possibly until the end of the 2020. The treasure chest for opera buffs is free and easy accessible by simple registering on www.metopera.org

Thursdays have become theatre night on YouTube, with London’s National Theatre premiering a new play each week 7pm BST (8pm in South Africa), available to watch for free, for a week. International screenings in cinemas will commence on 8 July with Hamlet, featuring Benedict Cumberbatch in the title role of Shakespeare’s great tragedy. http://ntlive.nationaltheatre.org.uk/

For musical lovers, there are many filmed Broadway and West End Musicals streamed free. http://www.filmedonstage.com/

Gay Themed Movies (GTM) , is a site on which you can find a variety of movies and other video material related to LGBT lifestyle , as well as reviews of the latest LGBT festival entries. It also features Gay Web and TV series, sexy and romantic music videos and its free for any visitors. https://orvel.me/

Recommended on GTM are The Thing About Harry, a slight formulaic Hallmark-style romance where two high school enemies are forced to drive together to a friend’s engagement party on Valentine’s Day and inadvertently fall in lust, in Just Say Love, what is supposed to be a no-strings hook up, two men discuss their dreams, what ideal happiness might be like, and maybe a future together.

Mag 50 Defiantly unsentimental in its approach, José Celestino Campusano’s richly textured exploration of sex, power and ecclesiastical abuse in Argentine society is a complex and often confrontational Argentinian film Men Of Hard Skin. A teenager Ariel lives a seemingly quiet life with his father and sister on their picturesque farm in a rural part of Buenos Aires. However, unbeknownst to his family, Ariel has been abused for years by

The fabulous Jesse Norman

Omar, his neighbourhood priest. Having confused his mistreatment for romantic affection, Ariel takes it upon himself to free himself from their relationship and soon embarks on a secret affair with one of the male workers on his father’s property.

Two ostensibly straight male flatmates experience mutual attraction in Argentine Helmer Marco Berger’s excellent The Blonde One. Gabo (Gastón Re) is the kind of person who is buffeted by life’s events. His wife dies, so the young father deposits his daughter with her grandparents and moves to Buenos Aires where he takes a job in a carpentry workshop. He rents a room in the flat of a colleague, Juan (Alfonso Barón). Juan has a number of slobby friends who frequently and unexpectedly visit, making the already messy flat even messier. Gabo uncomplainingly cleans up after them (when he is not prone on his bed reading). Even after he and Juan start a sexual relationship (the only time in the film Gabo takes the initiative), Gabo looks on, uncomplaining as ever, while Juan continues bedding not only his girlfriend but also, perhaps, another man.

Murphy’s Law

Hollywood’s golden age had a lot of glamour, but was also marred by sexism, racism, corruption. Ryan Murphy’s gives us an alternate view of history in the excellent Hollywood (Netflix), one where Rock Hudson can kiss his African-American boyfriend on the red carpet and white supremacists can be stopped with the power of a movie. “There were even scenes that I clutched my pearls at...” said Darren Criss who starred in the series.

Murphy is also bringing us a remake of Boys In The Band (Netflix) and follows Murphy’s 2018 Broadway revival of the play and will feature the exact same cast, reuniting Jim Parsons, Zachary Quinto, Matt Bomer, Andrew Rannells, Charlie Carver, Robin de Jesús, Brian Hutchison, Tuc Watkins, and Michael Benjamin Washington — nine actors who are all actually openly gay.

Another upcoming Murphy’s LGBT+ film adaptations of Broadway shows is the musical The Prom, following a group of Broadway performers (Meryl Streep, James Corden, Nicole Kidman, Andrew Rannells) who decide to find a charity cause to raise their profiles. They find it in lesbian teenager Emma Nolan (Jo Ellen Pellman), who is not allowed to go to prom with her girlfriend, Alyssa (Ariana DeBose).

PROUD IN AFRICA

6, Sixth Street, New Doornfontein, Johannesburg · Phone 0114025258 · 083-9652227 Email: hlabanga@me.com · Open at 12 noon every day of the year · Closing times: Mon-Wed 3am Thur-Sun 6am · GPS lat: 26.1989 long: 28.0629

FEBRUARY diary

Friday 7th Leather Night Free entrance with leather gear · Sunday 9th Full Moon – Celebrate hedonism with free libation wine · Friday 14th Long Schlong Valentine’s Day - Come be everyone's Valentine-free entrance for 20cm+ · Friday 21st Fetish Night – Indulge your fantasies · Friday 28th Public Pigz Night Be a pig on the bar counter for an entrance refund ·

MARCH diary

Friday 6th Leather Night - Free entrance with leather gear · Monday 9th Full Moon Party Celebrate hedonism with free libation wine · Friday 13th Long Schlong Night - Free entrance for 20cm + · Friday 20th Fetish Night - Indulge your fantasies · Friday 27th Public Pigz Night Be a pig on the bar counter for an entrance refund

APRIL diary

Friday 3rd Leather Night Free entrance with leather gear · Wednesday 8th Full Moon – Celebrate hedonism with free libation wine · Thursday 9th Bad Thursday Party - Cum be as bad as you wanna be · Friday 10th Long Schlong Night Free entrance for 20cm+ · Friday 17th Fetish Night – Indulge your fantasies · Friday 24th Public Public Pigz Night Be a pig on the bar counter for an entrance refund · Sunday 26th Freedom Day Party - Cum feel free · Thursday 30th Workers Day Party - Cum work it

MAY diary

Friday 1st Leather Night Free entrance with leather gear · Thursday 7th Full Moon – Celebrate hedonism with free libation wine · Friday 8th Long Schlong Night Free entrance for 20cm+ · Friday 15th Fetish Night – Indulge your fantasies · Friday 22nd Public Pigz Night Be a pig on the bar counter for an entrance refund · Friday 29th Fire Crotch Night – Free Entrance with Red Pubes Mondays: R50 entrance for Daddies & Toy Boys between 6 & 9 Every Tuesday is Buddy Night. Bring a friend for free! Thursdays: Student Night. R50 with student card, all day

CLOSED FOR THE LOCKDOWN

Great news is that local distributors have scheduled films for release in cinemas from July. JULY RELEASES

Unhinged (3/7) is a psychological thriller that takes road rage–to an unpredictable and terrifying conclusion with Russell Crowe as a man who feels invisible and is looking to make one last mark upon the world by teaching a woman a series of deadly lessons; an awkward love triangle gets complicated by the arrival of handsome and newly single guest in The Weekend (3/7), a man fights for the survival of the entire world, and journeys through a twilight world of international espionage on a mission that will unfold in something beyond real time in Christopher Nolan’s highly anticipated Tenet (17/7), and a terminally ill mother arranges to bring her family together one last time before she dies in Blackbird (17/7).

Acclaimed filmmaker Niki Caro brings the epic tale of China’s legendary warrior to life in Disney’s Mulan (24/7) in which a fearless young woman risks everything out of love for her family and her country to become one of the greatest warriors China has ever known; and a group of women hatch a plan to disrupt the 1970 Miss World beauty competition in London, which saw the crowning of the first black competitor in Misbehavior (24/7)

Tom Hanks is sensational in the outstanding A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood (24/7), portraying Mister Rogers, a popular kid’s TV show host in this timely story of kindness triumphing over cynicism, based on the true story of a real-life friendship between Fred Rogers and journalist Tom Junod. After a jaded magazine writer (Matthew Rhys) is assigned a profile of Fred Rogers, he overcomes his scepticism, learning about empathy, kindness, and decency from America’s most beloved neighbour.

In the taught thriller Becky (31/7) a spunky and rebellious Becky (Lulu Wilson) tries to reconnect with her father (Joel McHale) during a weekend getaway at a lakefront house. But the trip soon takes a turn for the worse when convicts on the run, led by the merciless Dominick (Kevin James), a Neo-Nazi, suddenly invade the home.

When conservative, Texas church-choir director Maybelline inherits her recently deceased son’s drag club, she surprises her closed-minded husband and everyone else she knows by moving alone to San Francisco to save the club from bankruptcy in Stage Mother (31/7). In this raucous, racy new environment, she begins to open up and find new meaning for her life, even becoming a mother-figure to the club’s flamboyant performers… until a surprise visit threatens to upend her new life. It stars Jacki Weaver, Lucy Liu, Adrian Grenier, Mya Taylor, Allister MacDonald, Oscar Moreno and Jackie Beat.

AUGUST RELEASES

A detached married couple must get their son and themselves to safety after being randomly selected to enter an underground bunker, as a massive object from space threatens to destroy the world in less than 48 hours in Greenland (7/8); on the trail of a missing girl, an ex-police officer, who witnessed the violent deaths of his wife and son, comes across a secretive group attempting to summon a terrifying supernatural entity in Empty Man (7/8).

In The Artist’s Wife (7/8) Claire (Lena Olin), the wife of famed artist Richard Smythson (Bruce Dern) and once a promising painter herself, lives in the shadow of her husband’s illustrious career. While preparing work for a new exhibition, Richard is diagnosed with dementia. As Richard’s memories and moods become lost and erratic, Claire attempts to shield his illness from the art community while trying to reconnect him with his estranged daughter and grandson. Claire, who has taken

I Am Woman (7/8) is an Australian biographical film about 70s feminist icon and vocalist Helen Reddy; Diana Prince (Gal Gadot) comes into conflict with the Soviet Union during the Cold War in the 1980s and finds a formidable foe by the name of the Cheetah in Wonder Woman 1984 (14/8), and Jessica Chastain plays the deadly assassin Ava (28/8) who works for a black ops organisation, travelling the globe specialising in high profile hits.

In the new Live Action imagining of Pinocchio (14/8), an iconic classic beloved across the world, Matteo Garrone returns to the authentic roots of the Pinocchio story. With this groundbreaking live action film shot in stunning Italian locations, Garrone creates a rich fantasy world of mystery and wonder, filled with luminous, funny and touching moments.

Fox’s long-delayed New Mutants (28/8) features a queer romantic relationship between two of its main characters: Moonstar and Wolfsbane, as played respectively by Blu Hunt and Maisie Williams. Hunt and Williams are joined in the New Mutants cast by Charlie Heaton (Stranger Things), Henry Zaga (Looking for Alaska), and Anya Taylor-Joy (Split) as young mutants being held captive at a secret facility overseen by Dr. Cecilia Reyes (Alice Braga).

Jacki Weaver (2nd from left) at the premier of Stage Mother

LOCAL RELEASES

Writer-director Sunu Gonera’s Riding With Sugar (7/8) is coming-of-age, feel-good story about a young refugee who, despite many setbacks, finds his way, finds love and a chance to create a better life in Cape Town. Once a scholarship student with a great future, Joshua (Charles Mnene, UK) dreams of winning a BMX cycling championship to finding a better life, but fate intervenes in the form of an accident that shatters his knee. He is given shelter and a job by Mambo (Hakeem Kae-Kazim, UK) who houses refugee teenagers from all over Africa. When Joshua meets Olivia (Simona Brown, UK), a talented young dancer of mixed race from a well-to-do family, it brings him into a world he has never known before. Her insights cast a shadow over Mambo’s agenda and cause Joshua to rise above all odds and find a way to a brighter future.

Toorbos (21/8) explores the Afrikaner feminine, through her fragility and power, this magical realist period drama, set in South Africa’s Knysna forest of the 1930’s, follows the free-spirited Karoliena as she is coaxed into marriage to a townsman and has to navigate the realities of progress, oppression of society, denying her true self, love and war back to her own personal freedom. An accomplished and assured feature from novelist Rene Van Rooyen, who adapted renowned writer Dalene Matthee’s 2003 best-selling novel. It stars Elani Dekker and Stiaan Smith in the lead roles as Karoliena Kapp and Johannes Stander, respectively.

If there is one reason to see Bad Education, it’s for Hugh Jackman’s performance as a closeted gay man, who was involved in the largest public-school embezzlement in American history. This captivating and thought-provoking character driven narrative has become one of HBO’s best films of 2020, which turns corruption and mendacity inside out. This true story was adapted by Roslyn alumni Mike Makowsky, who witnessed the scandal break first-hand as a student.

Teenage love is explored in The Miseducation of Cameron Post where teenage girl is caught in the backseat of a car with the prom queen and is sent away to a gay conversion centre where she bonds with some fellow residents as they pretend to go along with the process; the weirdly fascinating Nevrland deals with a teenage boy who suffers from uncontrollable anxiety attacks and finds escape in virtual worlds and meet an older man in a cam chat, marking the beginning of a transpersonal journey to the wounds of their souls; and in Adam a straight teen boy is mistaken for a trans male by the girl of his dreams in this ingratiating comedy of cutting-edge sexual politics.

Alan Ball’s comedy Uncle Frank is a road movie about a gay man who confronts his past, with Paul Bettany as a closeted gay man forced to come out to his Southern family in the accomplished ‘70s-set drama.

I Carry You With Me explores the relationship between two Mexican men looking for a better life in New York City. Iván, a young aspiring chef in Mexico, tries to land a spot in the kitchen while supporting the mother of his child. When he meets Gerardo, a handsome teacher who, unlike Iván, is out as a gay man and they fall for each other. Their romance is discovered by others, and Iván is forbidden from seeing his son. In despair, Iván makes the arduous decision to cross the border to advance his culinary career, promising his son and newfound love he will return.

One of best films I have seen since Priscilla, is the endearing French comedy The Shiny Shrimps, with Nicolas Gob as Matthias Le Goff, an Olympic swimming champion who makes a homophobic comment in a television interview, is condemned to train “Les Crevettes Pailletées”, a team of gay water-polo swimmers, more motivated by the party than by the competition. This explosive team will then go to Croatia to participate in the Gay Games, the largest homosexual sports gathering in the world. The road travelled will be an opportunity for Mathias to discover a quirky universe that will shake up all of his landmarks and allow him to review his priorities in life.

We have praised Francis Lee’s gorgeously shot God’s Own Country. Now the director is back with Ammonite, a period film that follows the affair of famed British palaeontologist Mary Anning (Kate Winslet) and wealthy socialite (and wife of the man who funded her latest expedition), Charlotte (Saorise Ronan).

Forbidden desires are explored in the French film Portrait of a Lady on Fire that tells the story of a forbidden affair between an aristocrat and a painter commissioned to paint her portrait starring Noémie Merlant; And Then We Danced is a passionate tale of love and liberation set amidst the ultraconservative confines of modern Georgian society where Merab, a devoted dancer who has been training for years with his partner Mary for a spot in the National Georgian Ensemble. The arrival of another male dancer, Irakli - gifted with perfect form and equipped with a rebellious streak - throws Merab off balance, sparking both an intense rivalry and romantic desire that may cause him to risk his future in dance as well as his relationships with Mary and his family; and a brief queer encounter proves much more than casual in Lucio Castro’s erotic End of the Century, an erotic romance between two closeted men.

Matthias & Maxime is Xavier Dolan’s heartfelt tale of male longing and centres on the titular Matthias (Gabriel D’Almeida Freitas) and Maxime (Xavier Dolan), lifelong friends whose relationship is tested when they act in a short film whose script calls for them to kiss each other, leaving them both questioning their sexual identities when

In From Zero to I Love You a gay man whose fear of intimacy has led him to continually fall for married men. He falls in love with a closeted married gay man who becomes Pete’s newest love interest and forces both men to confront what they really want in their romantic lives;

Hugh Jackman in Bad Education

Ammonite, stars Kate Winslet and Saorise Ronan