January 4, 2017 :: 2016 Year in Review

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CONTENTS JANUARY 04, 2017 VOL40 NO19

24 06 AT LEAST 49 DEAD IN MASS SHOOTING AT FLORIDA GAY CLUB 08 CORKY BLANKENSHIP SHOWING SIGNS OF RECOVERY 10 CU INTRODUCES AN LGBT-FOCUSED MENTAL HEALTH CLINIC

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20 PROTECTING THE RIGHTS OF TRANSGENDER PEOPLE STARTS BUT DOES NOT END WITH QUALITY HEALTHCARE

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22 DOG-GONE RIGHT YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED 32 DENVER TRAFFIC: GROWING AND SHOWING 42 BEING QUEER NOW: YOUNG POETS SPEAK OUT 46 TAILOR MAID 50 TO BE WITH HER OR TO BE HER? 54 KIDS ARE THE SCARIEST STD

RECENT WINNER OF 8 AWARDS from the

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Society of Professional Journalists, an Excellence in News Writing award, and an Excellence in Feature Writing award from the National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Association.


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AT LEAST 49 DEAD IN MASS SHOOTING AT FLORIDA GAY CLUB

Shooter Omar S. Mateen who was killed by Orlando Police after the shooting and three-hour hostage situation around 5am. Sources say Mateen was “well prepared,” armed with an “assault-style rifle, a handgun, and possibly an explosive device.” Reporters spoke with Orlando Police Chief John Mina, who confirmed that there were at least 100 patrons inside the club when the gunman, who was not from the Orlando area, opened fire. The shooting began inside the club, and continued outside when an officer working at Pulse attempted to confront him. The gunman then ran back into the club, resumed shooting, and took hostages. At 5am, police attempted a rescue, detonating two explosives to distract the gunman and clear the club. With that advantage, nine officers moved into the club to confront the gunman. In the ensuing shootout, one of the officers was slightly wounded, saved by his Kevlar helmet. “We rescued about 30 people,” Chief Mina said. During the rescue and shootout, officers with the SWAT team — using an armored vehicle — entered

the club and hurried people to safety. Many of them sought shelter in other sections of the sprawling club.

“We are saying we are apologizing for the whole incident. We weren’t aware of any action he is taking. We are in shock like the whole country,” Seddique said. Mateen had a firearm license and he received a security officer license in both 2011 and 2013, according to NPR. Their records search did not turn up any criminal record. Originally appeared in the July 06, 2016 issue.

A US ATTORNEY HAS PLANS TO BRING  evidence against Orlando nightclub shooter Omar Mateen’s wife, Noor Salman, to determine whether to bring charges against her. More evidence is needed to present to a grand jury, so it could take time.

WHAT EXACTLY DID THE SHOOTER’S WIFE KNOW? Berlin Sylvestre

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Ryan Howe

Mateen’s father told NBC News, “This has nothing to do with religion.” Mir Seddique his son got angry when he saw two men kissing in Miami a couple of months ago and thinks that may be related to the shooting.

PHOTO // JOE JERVIS

AT LEAST 49 PEOPLE ARE DEAD AND ANOTHER 53  have been wounded at Pulse, a popular LGBT club in Orlando, FL after a gunman opened fire at the club just after 2am. Reports indicate this is the deadliest mass shooting in US history.

So far, California-born Salman, 30, has admitted to investigators that she knew of plans to commit an attack, but didn’t know specifics. She initially said she didn’t know he was going to carry out the attack when he left the house Saturday, but backtracked in a subsequent interview, saying she had her suspicions it would happen at Pulse after he left.

She told investigators that she knew “for awhile” that Mateen was going to commit a violent act, stating he’d been talking about it for months, perhaps years. She never once notified police. It’s still speculated which charges could be pending against her but, depending on her level of complicity, they could include the intentional concealing of knowledge of a felony, aiding and abetting a crime, and/or conspiracy to commit an act of terrorism. Salman has a 3-year-old son from her 2011 marriage with Mateen. This is a developing story. More as news it’s reported.


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CORKY BLANKENSHIP SHOWING SIGNS OF RECOVERY Berlin Sylvestre

CORKY BLANKENSHIP’S HOUSE CATCHES FIRE OUT FRONT PHOTOGRAPHER CHARLES  Broshous was on a ride with the Denver Fire Department on Aug. 29 when a call for 4501 E. Warren Avenue came through. Those in the community know the address to belong to longtime fundraiser Corky Blankenship. Though reports are still trickling in, here’s what we know so far: Two people were rescued from the blazes. “I know Corky and his brother used to live there,” Charles tells us. “They probably still do.” Only one person was given CPR by firefighters. “I’m not sure who it was,” Charles says. The house demolished.

wasn’t

completely

“I’d estimate the damage at maybe a quarter,” says Charles. No word from anyone inside the house during the blaze is available. >>> UPDATE Aug 30

He also says Corky suffered “minor burns on his arms and face and that’s all [the family has] told me so far,” before adding that Rick’s burns are a little worse. 8 \\ J A N U A R Y 0 4 , 2 0 1 7

JIMMY MARTIN, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR FOR  the Corky Cares Foundation, gave us a ring this afternoon to fill us in on what he knows about Corky and Rick Blankenship’s statuses after a house fire destroyed their home. “I’ve been the only non-family-member [to be let] in because I’m super-close to the family from my work with the foundation,” he says. He tells us that Corky has passed a brain-damage test, in which a patient who has been unconscious or sedated is asked to perform simple functions once they’re awake. Corky was able to move his feet on command, as well as nod when asked — both are great signals for recovery. Unfortunately, doctors have been unable to revive his brother who, though showing signs of brain activity, has yet to respond to any cues. “His brother has shown no improvement,” says Jimmy. That could be due to the allegations that it took between eight to fifteen more minutes for Rick to be found by firefighters, then an additional fifteen minutes of CPR. Both were in need of resuscitation but, according to Jimmy, Corky was revived on the scene and rushed out via an ambulance. “Rick is in way worse condition,” Jimmy tells us. “He isn’t responding to anything but electrical stimuli. Doctors were keeping them sedated so they wouldn’t come to and pull their tubes out, [but] they took Corky’s out two days ago in the afternoon. He was restless, having those tubes in his throat.” Jimmy says there may be severe damage to Corky’s lungs, so doctors removed some of the blood and mucous that had gathered in his chest. He also says Corky suffered “minor burns on his arms and face and that’s all [the family has] told me so far,” before adding that Rick’s burns are a little worse. “Yesterday, they turned the oxygen source off, and Corky breathed on his own for a little over three hours,” he

says. “Then it was starting to get a little labored. He had a scratchy throat … so they put him back on the ventilator.” If Corky’s condition continues to improve, Jimmy says doctors will have his tubes removed again within the next two days, and will attempt to get him breathing with the aid of a nasal cannula. “They’re trying to get him to write a little bit, but he’s so wiped out,” he says. “You can imagine what painkillers do to a tiny little thing like him.” Another friend of the family, Michael Jimenez, says, “We’re keeping them in our prayers.” He says there’s so much speculation as to what caused the fire, that he wouldn’t personally hazard a guess. “People tend to think they know,” he says. “In reality, they don’t. But there’s an investigation [as to why] part of house is burnt and the other part isn’t.” According to Jimmy, the brothers’ insurance company has deemed the house an entire loss. He credits the age of the house (“It once belonged to their parents”) and Rick’s tendency to hoard items as the reason the damage was so severe. The brothers shared the home and, says Jimmy, Corky’s side was “immaculate” while Rick’s was packed. “It was a tinderbox,” he says. “In the middle was the shared space with a living room, a kitchen, and Corky’s fish-tank.” It’s because of those fish that Corky doesn’t go on long vacations, according to Jimmy. “He talks and sings to the fish every morning. As weird as it sounds, that’s one of the first things I thought about.” Update, Sept. 5: Sadly, Rick Blankenship succumbed to his injuries today.The cause of the fire is still under investigation. A Go Fund Me page has been set up to help Corky with expenses. The Denver Fire Department would like to remind readers to check the batteries in your smoke detectors, have an escape plan and keep items at least three feet away from anything that gets hot. GoFundMe.com/2mm25bg Originally appeared in the October 05, 2016 issue.


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CU INTRODUCES AN LGBT-FOCUSED MENTAL HEALTH CLINIC BUILDING 500 ON THE CU ANSCHUTZ CAMPUS LOOMS  above modern cars in lots like an art-deco anomaly amid fresher brick buildings and swift-footed millennials in scrubs. The arcane remnant has a distinctly noir feel to go with its solid reputation for being haunted by dead soldiers. Built in the time when Ford Model Ts were all the rage, the hospital was constructed specifically for WWI patients suffering from chemical-warfare injuries during missions throughout Europe. And until very recently, the campus itself was a chorus of groans from hopeful LGBT mental-health patients who desired targeted, specific mental healthcare for their unique needs. “There just wasn’t any,” admits Dr. Robert Davies, MD, associate professor in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Colorado School of Medicine. And it’s not uncommon. Healthcare tailored to the needs of the LGBT community is at a glaring lack in this country. As well, people who identify as LGBT often don’t seek healthcare that’s specific to their needs. “I read the One Colorado report on access to healthcare and mental healthcare in the LGBT community,” he says, “and it struck me that so many people avoided mental healthcare because of fear. One of the biggest obstacles [isn’t] that people were being necessarily treated poorly, but that they just expect to be treated poorly, so they were avoiding mental healthcare altogether. And thus, the foundation of the first LGBT-centered mental health clinic in the state of Colorado was wrought. Dr. Davies spearheaded the addition of a mentalhealth clinic at CU that caters specifically to the LGBT community, and it’s known as the CU Health LGBTQ Mental Health Clinic at the University of Colorado Hospital. The clinic is staffed by second- and third-year psych residents who deeply understand the upset of being cared for by LGBT-clueless providers who (often unwittingly) ruin even the most mundane of 1 0 \\ J A N U A R Y 0 4 , 2 0 1 7

experiences and, in the process, deter future visits to healthcare facilities — in some cases, permanently. One of those residents is Lexi C h av e z , MD, a second-year psych resident who identifies as transgender. Her large, expressive eyes imbue conviction as she recalls past visits. “When I’ve been to various providers, they’ve refused to use whatever pronouns I’ve asked them to. They’ve called me the wrong name, and they do it with a smile. They’re like, ‘How are you doing, [wrong name]?’ and, “He’s coming back,’ or something like that. I mean, I appreciate that, but it’s totally off base.” She shakes her head slightly. So what does one do? “You try and plow through it, and just be like, ‘Look. I’m here. I have this half an hour. I really need such and such,” she says. “At times, they’ll circle back around like, ‘No, really. Tell me this and that about your transition, but it’s like, ‘That’s not

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LEGAL DIRECTORY

THE LOWDOWN ON WORKPLACE PROTECTIONS why I’m here.’ And they’re really focused on it. They’re like, ‘Ok, I’ve never dealt with this before. I don’t know anyone that’s trans, so what I want to do is stop all your medications.’” (Repeat: “What I want to do is stop all your medications.”) For a trans patient dealing with say, cancer, such a move could spell a death sentence. In the wild, wild west of LGBT health issues, however, not knowing how medications and hormones some trans individuals take will interact with other drugs, doctors are hard-pressed to prescribe something that may cause or exacerbate sickness. “I have hypothyroidism,” Lexi tells OUT FRONT. She needs proper medication for the illness, but “I can’t get that approved by my insurance company because my provider put that I’m trans in my medical record.” She’s exasperated. “I can’t get it approved. I think that [physicians] want to do right, but they don’t necessarily know the right way.” But the omission of quality LGBT healthcare doesn’t rest entirely on the shoulders of mental health clinics. For generations, the LGBT community has shied away from seeing a doctor for the very real fear of mistreatment. “I refuse to go to the doctor, actually,” Lexi admits. “Not until I know I can get a good one. You don’t schedule appointments to have arguments.” “For a long time, people haven’t sought mental health treatment in the LGBT community because of their fear of not being understood or being referred for reparative therapy or seeing being gay as pathology,” Dr. Davies adds. Pathology refers to illness and disease, and reparative therapy, of course, is the contested practice of “curing” someone of their LGBT nature. And about those reparative therapies?

ANYONE CAN EXPERIENCE EMPLOYMENT DISCRIMINATION. IT CAN HAPPEN AT  many different points in the process of getting and keeping a job. Here are five areas of concern for people who are LGBTQ or HIV positive, as well as some basic information about what you need to know to protect your rights.

HIRING AND PROMOTION Ideally, employers would hire and promote the person with the best qualifications for a job, but that’s not always the case. It’s easier to prove a claim of discrimination when someone has made sexually explicit remarks or has demonstrated discriminatory traits or behaviors. Such cases can be very difficult and complex.

HOSTILE WORK ENVIRONMENT Workplace discrimination can create a hostile work environment — overt harassment, the threat of violence, or even blackmail still happen in the workplace today. Some employers, especially larger ones, have HR departments that should be able to handle the issue, but you may also want to seek legal counsel to protect your rights.

WRONGFUL TERMINATION One of the most common types of employment discrimination is wrongful termination. Generally, employers may not need to present compelling reasons for the termination. However, if discrimination is suspected, the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) will investigate the claims.

SEXUAL HARASSMENT Sexual harassment laws apply equally to individuals of the same or different sexes. If you’re the victim of sexual harassment at work, you have specific options available to you, as well as certain obligations. First, you should ask the harasser to stop, then alert your HR Department if you have one. Most companies have sexual-harassment policies that explain how to make a complaint. If yours does, it’s your obligation to follow that process. If you cannot reconcile the situation, you may want to seek legal advice.

GENDER IDENTITY OR EXPRESSION Gender stereotypes, health insurance, and restroom access policies are common areas that transgender and gender-nonconforming employees frequently face. Discrimination because one is gender non-conforming has been held by the Supreme Court to be sex discrimination and the EEOC and federal courts recognize that Title VII of the Civil Rights Act also prohibits discrimination of transgender employees. If an employer is not open to discussions regarding these and similar matters, it might be necessary to seek assistance from the EEOC or an attorney who has experience in trans-related legal matters.

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“There’s no evidence that it works or that it does anything,” he says. “It is a despicable practice which offers no benefit and most often causes irreparable harm.” As a gay man who wasn’t always comfortable with that side of himself — for 41 years, to be exact — he knows what staying in the closet can do to a person’s mental health. Hiding who he truly was, he tells OUT FRONT: “I was married to a woman for 20 years and have two wonderful children, both of whom are now adults and both of whom are now gay,” he says. “[That] was a long time and part of [being closeted] was just growing up in the family I grew up in, and fear of how that was going to be perceived.” In the meantime, he says he had lots of gay friends, and “was a huge advocate on their behalf because it was the closest I could get to being who I was.” Eventually he came out and, as fate would have it, his family was fine with it. But often, the years-long suppression of self takes its toll. “Why I’m doing child [psychiatry] in general is you can really make an impact on people early on that can change the entire trajectory of their life,” says Child Psychiatry Fellow Barbara Kessel, DO. “That, to me, is just so powerful.” Lexi agrees. “We talk about how people are socialized and you’re trained from a very early age how to be a ‘good’ girl, how to be a ‘good’ boy and what that means. [There are] very strict, defined gender roles and you feel a conflict with that; not really feeling like what you’re being taught matches up with you know. It adds this layer of not feeling that people understand you to a certain degree, because there’s always something they don’t know.” For trans people, that can result in a disconnect from a typical lived experience once he or she enters adulthood. “You have to re-experience your own growing up, your own adolescence, and your childhood from a different lens,” she explains. “[You have] to understand what it means to live in the world a certain way because you don’t have the same kind of experiences other people do to identify with.” Along with the clinic, Dr. Davies has put together a program for psych residents that trains them on LGBT-related health issues. As it stands, there’s “very 1 2 \\ J A N U A R Y 0 4 , 2 0 1 7

little,” says third-year psych resident Cassidy Williams, MD. “There’s some kind of formal education that we get, in a scheme of, ‘Here’s a lot of cultural sensitivity and LGBTQ sensitivity that’s all been grouped together. But other than that, it’s pretty brief.” Beyond the mental health aspect, there’s also a physical wellbeing factor that many doctors don’t take into account when dealing with transgender patients. Such as: “Cervical cancer screening,” Lexi says. “Pap smears are important for anyone with a cervix. So even if you have a [transgender] man coming in, if he has a cervix, he needs a pap smear. If you have a [transgender] woman coming in who has a prostate, when they get older they’re going to need that checked, as well.” These are but a few among the exhaustive list of needs that the clinic aims to provide the community. “When I interviewed here, Dr. Davies said, ‘Well, what are your interests?’” Lexi says. “I said, ‘I talked to some people about my child and research interests, but who do I talk to about expanding LGBT health?’ And he gets this grin and was like, ‘Well, that would be me.’” Dr. Davies beams at the memory.

“I have hypothyroidism,” Dr. Lexi Chavez tells OUT FRONT. “I can’t get [my medications] approved by my insurance company because my provider put that I’m transgender in my medical record.”

Lexi continues: “I’m amazed that this happened so fast. In my mind, I expected this to take five, six years — my entire residency — of working with this, trying to get people on board. And so [Dr. Davies] calls me into his office one day and says, ‘I’ve got good news: I got the go-ahead.’” Her response? “Let’s do this!” And now, with a supportive family and a passionate staff at his back, Dr. Davies can pay it all forward. Finally, the LGBT community here in Colorado is welcome to a mental-health clinic of their own. That puts a mind at ease. Originally appeared in the August 03, 2016 issue.


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COLORADO MUSLIMS WANT YOU TO KNOW: “SUCH PEOPLE DO NOT SPEAK IN THE NAME OF ISLAM”

“Hi, yeah,” I smiled as I let my window all the way down. “Can I get in without covering my hair?” She asked what I was there for (“Press conference.”) and surmised that it’d probably be ok for me to enter as I was. Then she went back to her car and returned a moment later with an extra hijab for me … in case I wanted one. Embarrassed, I stepped out and showed her my shorts. She didn’t think I would be too much of a problem, being that I’m with the press, but she insisted we try and see. I held the garment carefully — this was a gift — and felt an instant kinship with a woman I’d known for no more than a minute. “You’re with me,” she said. There are roughly 125,000 Muslims in the state of Colorado, and I just had an amazing introduction to their world. She was Alexandria Batiste, 25, a Metro State student and, on that day, an unofficial —but wholly gracious — ambassador of her faith. Once inside the area designated for the conference, we took our shoes off. “Not everyone will want to talk to you,” she warned me softly. “Especially the older ones.” She said what I’ve heard from other communities: The press doesn’t have the best reputation, and our presence is often dubious. I told her I’m here to capture the grief we both feel — nothing more. She seemed pleased to hear that, and left me be. I was early, and the few people there didn’t seem to notice me. 1 4 \\ J A N U A R Y 0 4 , 2 0 1 7

Once the room began filling, however, quizzical children pointed and whispered to one another; a group of teenagers sat themselves and fiddled with their phones, exchanging glances over their shoulder at me; one man asked politely what brought me there. Once he learned my mission, he bade me welcome in a reassuring tone and shuffled off quietly.

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This day was a strange one for all involved. I sipped from my water bottle, then recoiled in shame. This is Ramadan! How could you partake of water when everyone here is fasting and just as parched as you are? I slipped the canister back into my bag and tried to put the thirst behind me. Before too long, the proceedings were underway. The session began with a prayer in song. Heads bowed, everyone was silent during the beautiful and haunting ululation that, in English, translates: “The Almighty God is calling upon all of us in spite of our differences, our different ethnic backgrounds, our cultures, our colors. He’s calling upon us saying all of mankind was created from one male and one female, in reference to Adam and Eve, peace be upon them. Then we turned you into tribes and nations. Now the challenge is getting to know one another.

PHOTO CREDIT: DANIELE ZEDDA

“MAY I HELP YOU?” THE YOUNG WOMAN WITH SOFT  eyes and beautiful brown skin asked me in the sweltering parking lot, neck craning to look at me from behind my car. I was in the front seat, intently watching people walk into the mosque — namely the women in headscarves. I had no such thing, and I’d been cursing myself for the past few minutes that I didn’t even think of that before coming.


And be mindful: Allah is all-knowing. He sees what we do. He hears what we say. He will hold us accountable in the Day of Judgment.” The final notes rang in the air, and I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t break out into chills. The sound was in equal parts reverent and otherworldly. “With a few text messages and a couple of calls, we have virtually the entire Muslim community from the state of Colorado here to stand in support of the community,” said Qusair Mohamedbhai, general counsel to the Colorado Muslim Society. “This level of participation and unity has never been seen, I can safely say, in Colorado.” Scanning the room yielded men and women of all colors and ages donning hijabs, kufis (hats some of the men were wearing), abayas (robes). The scent of oils and incense permeated the air, and news crews scattered throughout the room were a curious sight for worshipers. There was an overt presence of cops, some with their shoes off, some who wore shoe covers instead. They stood around the perimeter and silently people-watched. Turns out, they were there not for security, per se; they were there in solidarity. “Sadly, we are experiencing a historic day that nobody wants to experience,” said Aurora Police Department’s Chief Nick Metz. “Our hearts go out to the victims, the victims’ families, and all those who are impacted by what happened in Orlando.” People nodded. “For us in Aurora, this hits pretty close to home, as we are quickly approaching the four-year anniversary of our own mass shooting at the Aurora Theater. I think it’s really important that we think about what terrorism is and what terrorism is not. Terrorism is not just about the incident itself. It plays a big part, of course — it shocks the conscience. But terrorism is also about the future impacts, about creating fear, creating divisiveness, creating hatred.” “One thing I want to assure the community, both Muslims and non-Muslims, is that Islam believes in all prophets, from Adam, Noah, Abraham, Jesus, and Mohammed,” said Imam Shafi of the Colorado Muslim Society. “Islam is opposed to violence. Islam promotes dialogue — not violence. Islam does not allow us to kill anybody. I want to assure you of your safety. We reject what happened in Florida.” “We’re not two days away from [burying Muhammed Ali],” reminded Imam Shamsuddeen Bin Masoud of the Metropolitan Denver North Islamic Center. “That’s who represents the Muslim-American community

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— not the terrorist coward who took innocent lives. Ali stood for justice, peace, love, and love of humanity. All humanity. The reason why he promoted [them] is because that’s what Islam stands for. We should not forget that here today. The best way to honor his memory, and those of the victims, is to stand united.” Amal “The Poet” Kassir, an award-winning, spokenword artist offered her mind. She said: “Something that happens in response to these tragedies is oftentimes, when the word Muslim is introduced, we have to compromise that initial opportunity to mourn with a reaction.” She paused to let it sink in. “We are obligated to respond to this, rather than acknowledge the pain of the reality that this type of violence brings our country.” More solemnly, she informed: “Between the hours of [2–5am], this situation burst into its height of hostage and massacre. And during this time, our brothers and sisters on the East Coast were praying their night prayers … they were eating breakfast to prepare for 18 hours of long fasting. Now this man who came with a gun, who calls himself a Muslim, he wouldn’t have eaten suhoor. He wouldn’t have eaten that breakfast with us which possibly means he didn’t have the intentions to fast with us. This is a disassociation. This does not represent our religion. This does not represent our ideology. This does not represent our community.” She pleaded: “May we bury the guns like we bury our children.” That’s right, I thought. Omar Mateen did this during Ramadan. When I was called upon by Qusair, I asked, “Do you think the fact that he carried out these attacks during the holy month of Ramadan, when negative emotions are to be put away, shows that he wasn’t Muslim? Is the press wrong to call him Muslim?” The Imam from the Rocky Mountain Islamic Center volunteered a response: “When God prescribed fasting upon Muslims, He followed up with a reason why. ‘So you may achieve righteousness.’ Muslims’ behaviors are supposed to be more aligned with the teachings of Islam. Such acts in the time of fasting shows a clear contradiction. The person who did such an act did not really take the fruit of fasting, which is achieving righteousness,” he says. “One of the biggest sins in Islam is to take a human life. The Prophet, peace be upon Him, actually said — talking not about Muslims, but non-Muslims — ‘Whoever takes a life of a non-Muslim who is given the promise of peace and security by Muslims, I will be the one who will prosecute him before God on the 1 6 \\ J A N U A R Y 0 4 , 2 0 1 7

Day of Judgment.’ He assigned that job to Himself to assure that such people do not speak in the name of Islam. There’s definitely a clear contradiction with righteousness.” Moments later, Amal came by, big green eyes flashing beneath the rim of her hijab, and placed a few water bottles on my table. I turned to the woman standing next to me and asked her, in a whisper, if drinking this would be seen as disrespectful ultimately. “No,” she assured, drawing the word out. She offered her palms and waved them upward at me, insisting I imbibe. Though thankful, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt. The room was hot by this point. Her expression and tone, however, put me at ease. “You are a guest. Please.” “In this holy month of Ramadan, we’re particularly saddened and want to express our heartfelt condolences to the families of the victims and to the American people,” said Imam Abdur-Rahim Ali of the Northeast Denver Muslim Center. “We hope that The Almighty eases the suffering of us all and that He unites us as Americans.” “This is a spiritual month for us, so this is just as shocking to the Muslim community, believe you me,” said Imam Shamsuddeen. Imam Karim Abuzaid was quick to offer his insight. “Is this behavior that is accepted by God in the month of Ramadan? I was in Detroit last night. I flew in early this morning, and I started watching the initial pictures of that shooting while I was in the airport. When I saw there was a shooting in a nightclub at night, immediately I put my heart to rest. I said, ‘All praise be to God that this is not a Muslim.’ Because there is no way a Muslim can be in that place at that time in the month of Ramadan to kill. Impossible!” The audience echoed his sentiment. “Impossible. There is no way, no way this person is a Muslim. So I got on the airplane and I slept. And I woke up, and


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I am walking through the Denver airport, and everybody is looking at me! I thought, ‘What happened?’ And then I received a phone call.” He looked heartsick. “This is what we’re going through. We’re suffering. We’re really going through a hard time, like you. This is not us. Simply.” He then recited a passage from the Holy Qu’ran: “‘Whoever does not leave off acting falsehood and speaking falsehood — we’re talking about lying, cheating, back-biting, gossiping — then Allah does not want him, doesn’t need him to give up his food or wood. He can go and drink and eat.’” He said, “Islam is about rituals and character at the same time.” Then, he apologized about being so emotional, citing sleeplessness, but not a single soul in the house could blame him. Ill-rested or not, these are trying times for both the LGBT and the Muslim communities. A real sense of sadness overcame me as I observed the faces of the Imams. These people have to remind others that they’re not terrorists every time something like this comes up. I asked about the Islamic State earlier in the afternoon, when I first learned they were taking credit for the act, and a young woman rolled her eyes, stating that it’s always on the Muslim community to clean up after those guys. “We’re regular people. They’re terrorists.” “If ISIS was here, they’d cut our tongues out,” a Muslim gentleman who wished to remain anonymous told me. “We do not approve of one another. At all.”

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“Every time something dumb and tragic happens, I hope and pray it’s not a Muslim,” Rahim Khan said after the press conference. “The confusion between Muslims and ISIS is something we’re trying to combat. We’re not them, and they’re not us.” “It shouldn’t be lost upon us that the two communities most impacted are two communities that are most often targets of hate; communities that are often unjustly judged; communities that are cruelly vilified in social media and other entities,” said Chief Metz. “There are some political and religious pundits who are, frankly, having a field day with what happened in an effort to create further divide in our community and our society. I think it’s important that we don’t allow the diabolical monster who took so many lives and destroyed thousands of [others] last night to continue to create fear, create hatred, created divide. We are much better than that.” “We should reach out and see what we can learn from all this,” Rahim said. “This should be a time when our communities build bridges.” Says Qusair concerning going foward with Denver Pride: “We ask you to celebrate, celebrate, celebrate.” I believe all these requests can come to fruition. ColoradoMuslimSociety.org Originally appeared in the July 06, 2016 issue.


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PROTECTING THE RIGHTS OF TRANSGENDER PEOPLE STARTS BUT DOES NOT END WITH QUALITY HEALTHCARE SINCE THE PASSAGE OF HOUSE BILL 2 IN NORTH CAROLINA  this past March, politicians have been talking a lot more about transgender people’s access to public spaces like restrooms. Unfortunately, many of these conversations have purposely left out the voices of transgender people and their families. Transgender people are still harassed in school hallways, fired after transitioning on the job, and refused housing. This discrimination also reaches into every part of our healthcare system. Transgender and gender-nonconforming people face an increased risk for HIV and an increased risk of depression and violence, while having lower rates of health insurance. This results in huge health disparities that require both policy and culture change to overcome. Almost 20 percent of transgender people report being refused medical care and 50 percent of people say they have had to educate their medical providers about transgender care. Many people also report postponing care due to a fear of discrimination and feeling unsupported by their medical providers. Additionally, there are issues of insurance coverage, affordability, and navigating a health system that does not know how to meet or respect the needs of transgender people. The Affordable Care Act (ACA) has helped to address some of the issues transgender and gendernonconforming people face. The ACA prohibits discrimination in hospitals and health coverage based on sexual orientation, gender identity, and HIV/ AIDS status. It helps to make sure people cannot be charged more for health insurance or services simply because of sexual orientation or gender identity. People cannot be denied coverage due to pre-existing conditions or have coverage dropped if they get sick. There is also no lifetime coverage for chronic illnesses like HIV/AIDS. Transgender people now have the right to medically necessary services, such as gender transition and confirmation care. Many transgender people living 2 0 \\ J A N U A R Y 0 4 , 2 0 1 7

without health insurance may also now be eligible for free or low-cost coverage through their state health insurance marketplace, which can cover the cost for transition-related care, and help with preventative care and managing chronic conditions. The gains we’ve made through the new healthcare regulations and insurance plans are an important step forward in improving health outcomes for transgender people, but true equality must exist beyond the doctor’s office. In Colorado, transgender people still face discrimination at the voting booth and employment. A majority of transgender people across the country continue to live in poverty and face h a r a s s m e nt and violence. This is especially true for transgender people of color who are forced to live in fear as each week or month we see another report of a transgender person being killed. We h ave made progress, but there is more work to be done to ensure that every Coloradan can live with respect and dignity. We can do better. We must do better. Originally appeared in the August 03, 2016 issue.

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DOG-GONE RIGHT YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED JUST ONE DAY AFTER PRIDE, VETERINARIAN AND ANIMAL  activist Carolyn Karrh says she treated a dog whose front pads had literally burned right off. That’s how hot the pavement was. “It is incredibly sad and totally preventable,” says Carolyn. What’s more, she says she tried to warn several people at Pride that their dogs were in a potentially life-threatening situation and she was either ignored or met with dirty looks. “Someone has to speak for the animals when they can’t speak for themselves.” Here’s what a lot of people don’t know: Dogs don’t sweat like we do, so when the temperatures climb, they can’t cool off as easily. Being covered in fur and having a higher body temperature to begin with makes it even more difficult. In minutes, a dog can go from panting to organ failure. What’s worse is that the temperature on the ground is often much higher than the temperature in the air. At 77 degrees, asphalt in the sun can be 125 degrees. Now, imagine how hot it was at Pride where the temperature reached 100! This seems pretty obvious, but it merits a mention. Dogs don’t wear shoes. Their pads are not like leather. Walking on asphalt for them is like walking on it barefoot for us. “If a surface is too hot for you to walk on with bare feet, it’s too hot for them,” says Tammy Wolfe, a canine physical therapist who says Pride is usually scorching hot and she “always sees dogs walking on hot asphalt.” OUT FRONT asked readers on its Facebook page if they would support a ban on dogs at Pride. Of the nearly 100 people who responded, the vast majority said “yes.” Scot Walker is among them. “I nearly melted [at Pride] ... couldn’t imagine having a fur coat and bare feet.” One woman who’s been a veterinarian technician for 10 years said she’s “witnessed the horrific burns not only on feet, but on the bodies of these poor animals.” She says she’s spent weeks changing wet to dry bandages and treating infections and excruciating pain. She also 2 2 \\ J A N U A R Y 0 4 , 2 0 1 7

“saw a lot of dogs that appeared to be scared and anxious around all people.” Others say a total ban is not the way to go. “Don’t take the privilege away from those of us doing it the way we should. Just take it away from the morons who don’t do things the way they should,” says Alex Schaff. He brought his dog and he brought paw protection, water, and plenty of food. He also made sure to keep his dog on the grass and in the shade — something Carolyn says is a must for dogs on hot days. But, she argues, many don’t treat their dogs the way they should even when they’re warned about the dangers. “There will always be some people who think it would never happen to their dog.” There aren’t figures on how many dogs die from heat exhaustion every year, but most agree it’s far too many — especially for something that so easily can be prevented. We all know by now not to leave our dogs in hot cars, but what some don’t know is that just being outside on an extremely hot day can be deadly as well. To

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prevent heat stroke, keep your dog inside where it’s air conditioned as much as possible, limit exercise, give them plenty of water, and if you are out in the heat, pour water on them as well. They need to stay cool on the inside and the outside. Warning signs include heavy panting, excessive thirst, glazed eyes, vomiting, staggering, and passing out. Do not wait. Once your dog starts panting heavily, it’s time to get him or her out of the heat. “Every dog I saw [at Pride] was panting heavily and fast, some lethargic and almost limp, a precursor to heatstroke and the no-turning-back cascade of events that lead to death,” says Carolyn.

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Some are hard to believe. Carolyn says she even saw “a Pomeranian in someone’s arms who had a heavy hair coat and a sweater on. I would not be surprised if this dog died that day.” Carolyn Karrh practices at The Center for Animal Wellness and at Every Creature Counts. She also has a non-profit organization that helps pets that belong to homeless people. PeaceLovePaws.org Tammy Wolfe owns and operates The K9 Body Shop. TheK9BodyShop.com Originally appeared in the July 20, 2016 issue. Every office is different; every client special.

Editor’s note: I asked the folks at The GLBT Center what they thought of banning dogs at PrideFest since the team, much like Carolyn in the article, were looked upon with scorn when we pleaded for owners get their dogs off the asphalt and into the grass. Rex Fuller, our media contact at the GLBT Center, said that since Civic Center Park is a public space owned by the city, they unfortunately can’t enforce that rule. He stated that they’re considering an end to their Dogs in Drag competition, in spite of its immense popularity.

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DAVE MONTEZ HEADS FOR DC FAREWELL TO ONE OF THE BEST ADVOCATES CO’S LGBTQ COMMUNITY HAS EVER SEEN

In case you weren’t aware, Dave Montez is one of the go-to guys when crisis in our state’s LGBTQ community arises. Until a few weeks ago, he was the executive director for One Colorado, a political advocacy organization that specializes in raising awareness for LGBTQ issues around the state. He’s marched on the steps of the State Capitol, through her halls, and addressed our lawmakers more times than some people have even ridden past the gold-domed house of legislation. And all the while, followers he garnered as the head of the beloved non-profit walked by his side, empowered by the man of great hope and unprecedented leadership. That’s our Dave, and it’s bittersweet to see him go. “A mentor told me a long time ago that that’s the best time to go,” he responds. “When it’s still bittersweet.” He adds that he couldn’t be more confident in the team he leaves behind. “I was a difficult decision to leave but it was made possible by my complete and total faith in the leadership skills of the board and the staff [of One Colorado]. I wouldn’t have left if I didn’t think there was a really, really great team in place to carry on the work.” When he announced he was leaving, the team was a mix of sadness, surprise, and understanding. “They’ve always been supportive,” he says. “They’ve been thoughtful and warm about the departure, and I’m really appreciative.” Just last week, Daniel Ramos, the former deputy director of One Colorado, was appointed the interim director. In the meantime, Dave will be saying his goodbyes to as many people and coalition partners as he can and penning his farewell memos. “The Ally Awards is my last day,” he reveals. “I will always care about One Colorado. If ever there is a need for me to help in some capacity, I will make myself available.” Because he’s not moving to DC until late December, he’ll be based here in Colorado and, according to One Colorado’s website, will act as an advisor for the organization. But Dave’s given so much to the LGBTQ community here that sadness is to be expected. According to Dave, though, it’s time to move on and to honor another side 2 4 \\ J A N U A R Y 0 4 , 2 0 1 7

of what makes him who he is — his Latino roots. Dave will be the new director of the Latino Engagement Fund at the Democracy Alliance in Washington DC, a group that makes sure progressive plans for the Latino community get resourced from national contributors in order to implement forwardthinking legislation at the state level. In particular, he’s focusing on getting Latinos — who comprise nearly 20 percent of the American population — to vote consistently and use their political power to improve their lives. “It’s an opportunity to work with another community I deeply care about and use some of the skills I’ve developed to help advocates on the ground continue to do such incredible and often under-funded work,” he declares. And what are the issues he plans to tackle in DC? He rattles them off with such ease that you know they’ve been on his mind for quite awhile. “An increase in a living wage,” he says instantly. “There’s so many Latino families that are struggling, working two or three jobs. The erosion of voting rights in many places is incredibly problematic — it is a basic, constitutionally protected right; we should be making it easier for people to vote, not more difficult. Immigration reform at the state and federal level, obviously. Education is incredibly important to the Latino community, making sure that Latinos like myself are able to go to college if they want to. I would not be sitting where I am right now had it not been for Pell grants and subsidized student loans. My family didn’t have money to send me to college. They gave me a lot of, ‘You can do anything you want, you can be anything you want to be’ [support], but there was no money there. I didn’t have a college fund.”

Berlin Sylvestre

PHOTO // COURTESY OF DAVE MONTEZ FACEBOOK PAGE

HE STEPS INTO THE COFFEE SHOP, LEAN, HANDSOME,  youthful. An easy smile works its way across his face when we greet and his eyes are as luminant as always — a tell of his conviviality and ability to put people at ease. It’s not my favorite kind of interview, these farewells, but it’s always nice to see Dave Montez.


These are such fundamental things that it’s hard to believe we’re having to fight for them in 2016’s America. He says that during this election season, in the time of Trump, we need to stay focused and remain positive. His style is cool, diplomatic. “The Boogeyman isn’t always going be the best motivator,” he says of the GOP presidential nominee. “People want to vote for hope, for a better future, improved lives — they want to vote for their families, so our message can’t just be about how terrible Trump is; it has to be about continuing the legacy that President Obama worked so hard to build for this country.” Dave’s dark eyes are alight with passion and resolve. “The work’s not done,” he tells me. “We have to remember that as we’re motivating people to vote. We can’t just have an anti-Trump message; we have to give people something to vote for.” He takes a sip of hot tea, not rattled in the slightest that we’re in an unusual election season that’s signaling the rise of the right. “These people aren’t going away,” he says, shaking his head. “They’re not new; we’ve always had to battle [them]. But I’m definitely a pragmatist. I believe there’s more common ground than not with opposing viewpoints and perspectives. That’s something I’ve worked hard to build into One Colorado. Part of our jobs as advocates is to meet people where they are on their journey of acceptance, and walk with them. I hope to bring that to the table in my future role.” (See what I mean about Dave? The guy isn’t scared of the opposition — he invites them on walks.) He says nearly half of eligible Latino voters are millennials. “Often, the people who are most anti-Latino are also the exact same people who are anti-LGBTQ. All the research and data on millennials shows that they don’t see LGBTQ as separate from Latino, separate from gun control, from choice. It’s impossible to separate Latino from LGBTQ; it’s all connected. So millennials see what OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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PHOTO // COURTESY OF DAVE MONTEZ FACEBOOK PAGE

many advocates have known for a really long time: We’re stronger when we work together.” Perhaps his cool demeanor is a reason why the 38-year-old executive looks like a millennial himself. “I find it funny that we’re using the word ‘Rolodex,’” he confesses after I ask him about bringing contacts from home to DC. “We’re really dating ourselves with that!” We belly-laugh like the late-30-somethings we are, and a few heads turn our way. No bother. “But I don’t want to overplay any cultural tipping point,” he tells me, getting back to the business of the progress we’ve made under President Obama. “Orlando is a stark, stark reminder and very sad reality that there are people who really don’t like our community, that don’t like the progress we’ve made, who will work to undo that. While we’re making progress, we have to be careful not to lull ourselves into complacency.” He mutes his ringing phone without even seeing who’s calling, never breaking eye-contact with me. I ask about his leadership style and he laughs a bit. For this question, he seems to think a little longer, as though he’s never been asked. And then: “I try to take in as many perspectives as I can before I make a decision, to bounce as many big ideas off of the people who are going to execute them for a reality check on what is possible and what is not possible.” He’s always under the pressure of “not saying the wrong things” and learning how to “parse words” in just the right way, and he admits there’s an added pressure involved when taking it to a national level. Thing is, he’s nailed it here in Colorado and we hope the humble guy gives himself the credit he’s due. He never seems to pat himself on the back for all he’s done during our interview, which is a rare quality in interviewees in executive positions, I must admit. “One of the reasons I operate the way I do is that I grew up in a family with very few resources, so if I wanted to go on my senior trip or to senior prom, all of my family had to chip in,” he says, eyes softening. “None of us had the resources to make it happen individually.” He scoots his chair a little closer. “That really stuck with me, and is why I view everyone as one instrument in a broader orchestra. When we play together and harmonize, we produce something incredible — more than what one instrument could produce on its own. That is something that has shaped my leadership style and one that I will carry with me.” I can’t help but be touched with epiphany. “We are always better when we listen to each other and plan together,” he smiles. That’s our Dave. Originally appeared in the August 17, 2016 issue. 2 6 \\ J A N U A R Y 0 4 , 2 0 1 7

SO ON BEHALF OF OUT FRONT MAGAZINE, I’D LIKE TO END THIS PIECE WITH AN OPEN LETTER OF SORTS AND IT GOES SOMETHING LIKE THIS: To the Montez family, immediate and extended: You’ve done such an outstanding job raising this wonderful man and powerhouse of an advocate and leader. On behalf of Coloradans who’ve benefited from his hard work and boundless vision for the future of Americans — Latino, LGBTQ, and beyond — thank you for lending Dave to our community. To the Latino Engagement Fund and the Democracy Alliance: You made the right decision, and congratulations are in order for all involved. Be good to our guy, yeah? We’re watching you! And for Mr. Montez himself: The footprint you leave on the LGBTQ landscape of progression and visibility in our state, and your tenacity to bring our community’s needs into the halls of our Congress are gifts we’ll never be able to repay you for. In your wake, you leave many, many thousands of grateful citizens and a team of people who’ve learned what it means to lead the charge toward equality and justice. We wish you only success, though we needn’t worry too much about that. Knock ’em dead, man. We’re all rooting for you here at home.


A YEAR IN PHOTOS Happy New Year! As we start out the new year, we would like to take a look back at 2016 and share a few of our favorite photos with you. It has been a pleasure running into you all at the numerous events we’ve covered over the year. Thank you for taking the time to share a little of your life with us and our community. See you in 2017! Photos by Charles Broshous

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e d d n O O d r i B RYAN HOWE

YVIE ODD LYLIV E M E H T S E K A M R I E H T R O F STR EA M LIF E If you ask Yvie Oddly what makes a drag queen stick around in people’s minds, she might go off on a loud, quick rant about how to be more than just a man in a dress, or she might quietly — uh, quieter — tell you that drag is about the transformation. “If you’re not constantly evolving, pushing, and transforming both your style and performances, then you aren’t a queen,” Yvie says. “I could go out there and lipsync to someone else’s Top 40 song, or I can go out there and show them something they may have never seen before.”


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Yvie, who recently turned 23, splashed onto the scene when she competed in Tracks’ Ultimate Queen in 2015. Her innovation, passion, and drive propelled her to snatch the crown, landing her a guaranteed six-month stint in the monthly Drag Nation. However, she didn’t let honor of holding the crown seep its way through her wig and into her ego. Instead, she used it as a stepping stool. During her time both in the competition and the following months after, Yvie had one goal: Get involved with the community and build a fanbase. It worked. Yvie is now hosting a few different nights at Tracks alongside popping up in shows all over town. It’s been barely more than a year, and this self-proclaimed weirdo has climbed her way up to the Denver elite — but she’s doing it on her own terms. Thus, The Odd Hour was born. “I had this idea to do a show where the Denver queens could come and showcase skills they might not be able to at other venues,” Yvie explains while standing in the crowded dressing room at Tracks. “This city has some pretty gifted queens, and I don’t know if they aren’t being prompted by other venues, or if it is just easy to lipsync to a pop song, but I wanted a night where ladies like Mani Queen can come and paint rather than doing another traditional drag performance.” That was the initial idea but the night, naturally, has grown. Now, one Thursday a month, Yvie Oddly delivers one of the freshest, most innovative theme nights in the

city. The Odd Hour has blossomed into a fully immersive night complete with a range of queer performers and artists, not just drag performances. The premise is simple: The artists and performers walk around the venue both before and after their performances to interact with the crowd. When the gong bangs signaling the Odd Hour, the next performer must stop what they are doing and perform on the spot while Keith Garcia — the mastermind behind Denver’s drag documentary The Heels Have Eyes — live streams the performance onto the main stage. “The really hard part about Odd Hour is that is just sounds like a bunch of art kids’ fresh-out-of-college gibberish, like, ‘I want to revolutionize an artistic movement in the queer community,’” Yvie says. “But when you’re there, you get to experience all these different elements coming together and just making sense.” Near midnight at last month’s Odd Hour, a crowd of people lined the stage, waiting on Yvie to perform. As the gong boomed its way through the club, and the start of Beyoncé’s Freedom began to drown out the gathering crowd, Yvie is hoisted upright by three scantily clad go-go boys and a giant hand throwing up the ‘shocker’ symbol. Her body is completely wrapped in gold, and while the instrumental intro plays in the background, the go-gos and giant hand start unwrapping her, revealing a metallic, futuristic, cut-out dress. By no means does the dress wear Yvie as she stomps around the stage lipsyncing to the hard-hitting Bey track.


30 “This city has some pretty gifted queens, and I don’t know if they aren’t being prompted by other venues, or if it is just easy to lipsync to a pop song, but I wanted a night where ladies like Mani Queen can come and paint rather than doing another traditional drag performance.” Halfway through the performance the song transitions into Major Lazer’s Be Together, and Yvie’s erratic movement halts as she approaches a hula hoop hanging from the sky. For the remainder of the performance, the queen’s heels do not touch the floor as she continually spins above the stage, shedding pieces of clothing. “This bitch always brings it,” says Cherry Poppins, fellow drag queen, Ultimate Queen 2016 runner up, and contestant on Ultimate Queen All Stars. “She is truly amazing.” Cherry has been to all four Odd Hours, but has only performed once — on the same night Yvie took to the air. Cherry is not just a fan of Yvie’s performances, but also the outlet she is providing through the Odd Hour. “I’m funny, I’m not a dancer,” Cherry says while dabbing white contour on her blue face. “It’s hard for someone like me to find an outlet where I can do what I want, [even] if that involves dressing like an alien and lipsyncing to an opera song.” Lucky for Cherry, those are the performances she’s looking for. The Odd Hour is not amateur hour. Performers who wish to be part of the immersive night have to come with a passion for the avant-garde in fashion as well as performance, an idea for a strong, conceptual piece, and the ability to execute it with showstopping skill, talent, and perspective that would pump up a crowd at a nightclub. “The great thing about Yvie is that she pushes people,” Cherry says. “I mean, I’m completely blue right now thanks to her support. I’m branching out from my norm.” Staring into the mirror, Yvie’s eyes slide toward Cherry as she contours her nose, and offers her makeup advice. The room had slowly filled with other performers, each greeted with an air kiss from the host of the night, with warmth and help — and the occasional sass — as they prep for the night. “Denver is filled with talented performers and queens,” Yvie says. “But those that are willing to change constantly and not remain stagnant are the ones who will make a lasting impression. They are also the ones that I’ll invite to perform at the Odd Hour.” Originally appeared in the September 21, 2016 issue.


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Yvonne Wright

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WITH BEAUTIFUL MOUNTAINS, OUTDOOR  activities, and growing economies, it’s no wonder Rocky Mountain communities are booming. Growing populations mean growing commuter times — unless you live in Salt Lake City. While GPS maker TomTom Navigation shows Denver now ranks among the top 25 worst commute times in the country, SLC commutes have stayed roughly the same over the past nine years. Not only has Utah prepared for past transportation growth, the state is setting trends in preparing for more. This has many cities looking to the Beehive State for lessons. COMPREHENSIVE PLANNING This year, Utah begins implementing its 2040 Unified Transportation Plan. Lawmakers approved it last year and it includes everything from studying traffic patterns to providing additional sidewalks. The goal is for local communities to work together, instead of competing for funding.


COLORADO VEHICLE REGISTRATIONS (NEW + USED) ROSE 11 PERCENT IN 2014.

The plan looks to the future by looking to the past. Millions of people flocked to Utah for the 2002 Olympics, forcing the state to examine traffic in new and innovative ways. Highways needed to be built, improved, widened, and even increased. This meant years of heavy construction leading up to the games. The state had to find funding while trying to appease local drivers. By the time it was over, the state’s major highway was expanded, several roads were added, and two light-rail lines were built with seven more rail lines to come. “We were excited for the Olympics; we were welcoming the entire world. And the bonus? After they were gone, we had better roads,” says Warren Holz, one of the many commuters stuck in construction traffic day after day. “At one point,” he says, “we called I-15 the death luge because there was no place to pull over.” Why the collective patience? Utah used part of its budget on campaigns to convince commuters the delays were worth the rewards. FINDING FUNDING As Colorado learned, it’s not enough to just plan. Several major transportation projects here came to a standstill when funding ran out. Utah, on the other hand, is providing funding as it plans. Before the Olympics, a sales-tax referendum helped pave the way. The new plan calls for a .05¢-per-gallon gas tax, something that is unlikely to happen here anytime soon. Our last gas tax hike was 25 years ago.

COLORADO RANKS 4TH IN NATION FOR POPULATION GROWTH. COLORADO’S POPULATION GROWTH IS DOUBLE THE NATIONAL AVERAGE (ACCORDING TO MOST RECENT CENSUS FIGURES).

The key, many say, was getting conservative lawmakers on board. Traditionally opposed to tax increases, the conservative Speaker of Utah’s House became a champion for transportation advancement. Fellow Republicans followed suit. Many legislators in Utah realized people would rather spend more money in taxes than time stuck in traffic. ALTERNATIVE TRANSPORTATION Neither Utah nor Colorado have lots of room to sprawl. Long-built neighborhoods and mountain ranges stand in the way of extra traffic lanes and additional roads and highways. Colorado’s Department of Transportation is looking at managed toll lanes and better car technology as two alternate ways to ease traffic, and both states are looking to extend bus and rail-line hours. Salt Lake’s Chamber of Commerce estimates their plan will increase ridership by nearly 90 percent within five years by increasing transit services 68 percent.

COLORADO’S INFRASTRUCTURE NEEDS ARE UNDERFUNDED BY AN ESTIMATED $800 MILLION ANNUALLY.

DENVER RANKS

IN WORST COMMUTE TIMES NATIONWIDE.

The state is also banking on the biking boom. The most recent US Census figures show commuters who bike to work increased by 60 percent in 2012 alone. That’s the largest increase of any commuting style. While Utah expects its population to double over the next 25 years, Colorado is looking at a nearly 90percent increase over the next 35. With population in both states booming, traffic congestion will only get worse if something isn’t done.

Sources: Colorado Department of Transportation, TomTom Navigation, US Census Bureau, Colorado Automobile Dealers Association, 2011 Independence Institute report, Forbes Magazine // Originally appeared in the February 03, 2016 issue.

AVERAGE DENVER RUSH HOUR COMMUTE TIME IS 27 MINUTES.

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CANNABISSUE

How the AIDS crisis led one dispensary owner into the cannabis industry

Paul Bindel

The front desk of Good Chemistry is more hotel lobby or nightclub anteroom than bullet-proof teller window. Hip hop drifts through the speakers, and a thin, neonluminescent ‘g’ — subtly shaped as a pharmaceutical mortar and pestle — hovers behind the smiling staff as I sign in. The grey walls to either side feature bright, cascading graphics of indica and sativa, whose leaves I’m comparing just before Matthew Huron, Good Chemistry’s founder, walks in with Meg Collins, VP of Public Affairs.


“We opened this store April 9 of last year and were fortunate enough to get one of 20 licenses in Aurora,” Matthew explains. “24,” Meg clarifies, “but they only awarded 23.” “And they’re geographically dispersed throughout the city. This used to be a Blockbuster, and we found this out after the fact, but it turns out that this was the busiest Blockbuster in the state of Colorado,” he laughs. “So it’s a good location.”

PHOTO // PAUL WEDLAKE

A tall, dark-haired man with chiseled features and five-o’clock shadow, Matthew has a relaxed, confident demeanor cut by occasional glimpses of a competitive streak. “My core competency is growing marijuana,” he often claims, and that’s undeniable, as an owner of a business that cultivates over 60 strains of marijuana and employs 80+ people.

As we sit down to talk, I catch a glimpse of a photo on Matthew’s phone screen before he clicks it black. I ask who it was. “That’s my father,” he says, showing the two of them smiling only slightly in pale shirts. “That’s from his 60th birthday, and he died a month later.” Without his father’s influence, Matthew may have never entered the cannabis industry.

Founded in 2010, Good Chemistry has an edge on some of the other start-ups in Colorado, because Matthew brought 10 years of industry experience from California. This is partly why the lobby is so welcoming and also why Good Chemistry strains are sold at a flat, affordable rate — “$30 per 1/8th every strain, every day” — and why each strain is labeled through Good Chemistry’s four-category system: amplify, relax, relieve, and sleep.

Growing up in a gay household in San Francisco, blocks off of Castro Street, Matthew’s childhood was the exact opposite of many queer men. “My dad would have these dinner parties, and he would lament, ‘My son is straight — I don’t know what we did wrong.’”

“Our dispensary is an extension of the nursery,” Matthew says as he shows me a wooden cabinet of hand-tagged varieties, hung to dry. “We believe we grow the finest cannabis in Colorado, so we wanted to give customers a peek of our nursery.”

Drag shows and a wide circle of uncles and “aunts” were part of Matthew’s life that he accepted as normal. “For a OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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36

Christmas present one year, I got a huge bucket of condoms from one of my dad’s friends. And I worked really hard to get through them.” San Francisco’s proud and liberated queer culture took a dark turn in the 80s. “When AIDS came around, my father and his partner both tested positive and pretty much all of their friends tested positive. And what was originally a very colorful social scene changed pretty quickly — my dad had all these dinner parties, which turned very quickly to friends not showing up. And it was, ‘Where’s Paulette?’ So many of my dad’s friends passed away.” California legalized medical marijuana in 1996, and at a time when new highly active anti-retroviral treatments were being introduced, many patients — including Matthew’s father James Huron and James’ partner Elmar — used marijuana to treat aspects of the disease, particularly HIV wasting syndrome. (In fact, the first medical marijuana dispensary was started by Dennis Peron to help AIDS victims in San Francisco in 1992.)

The Elmar Lins Compassion Co-Op provided medical marijuana for free to HIV patients, selling some of their product to outside marijuana clubs to pay the bills, but always operating tenuously. “The nurses at that time were cool with it, but a lot of these facilities are federally funded, so it was like, ‘Come on Wednesday at 5 o’clock. We’ll go out the back door, and you do what you need to do.’”

PHOTO // PAUL WEDLAKE

In 2000, Matthew partnered with the two of them to create a medical-marijuana company. “Elmar was in an assistedliving facility [for HIV patients] and we were bringing marijuana to him. Next thing you know, we were bringing it to everybody in there. We thought, let’s help other people.”

With its frequent raids in those years and unclear laws, California ultimately proved “not really a good place to do business.” After Elmar passed away in 2008 and his father in 2009, Matthew wasn’t sure what he would do next. A friend convinced him to come check out Colorado’s newly emerging scene, and Matthew, impressed with the legal structures and regulations being implemented by the state, decided to move. Matthew brought the Compassion Program along with him to Colorado and continues to support nearly 50 terminally ill patients by providing them access to


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39

“THE NURSES AT THAT TIME WERE COOL WITH IT, but a

lot of these facilities are federally funded, so it was like, ‘Come on Wednesday at 5 o’clock. We’ll go out the back door, and you do what you need to do.’”

marijuana each week. “I believe we are the only dispensary in the state that offers a compassion program,” he says. “We provide high-quality cannabis to low-income, qualifying patients.” Even after opening two stores in six highly successful years, he is cautious about the future of marijuana, recognizing that Colorado is a bubble and that marijuana is still federally illegal. “It’s only 24 months old,” he notes about the Colorado recreational industry as we talk about pending legislation to let in out-of-state funders. “[Outof-state funding] is not a question of if — it’s when. But we need to remember that progress is not guaranteed; it’s always two steps forward, one step back. Just like gay marriage, we can’t take it for granted.”

into connoisseurs. For the last nine months, the Good Chemistry team has been designing and preparing a 28-page booklet that was released on April 14. The S.T.A.T.S. method (Sight, Touch, Aroma, Taste, and Sensation) is a guide to helping consumers evaluate essential aspects of the flower in order to make the most informed and satisfying purchase decisions. “All of the stores are telling you, in some shape or form, ‘We are the best,’” Matthew explains. “So we did some secret shopping [and] noticed lots of tiered pricing. But even most of our competitors’ top shelf, we found, was sub par. We thought, ‘Don’t people know?’ and we realized they don’t know. A lot of marijuana consumers are starting to ask questions, and we want to educate them.” Similar to the five Cs of diamonds, S.T.A.T.S. provides five fundamental criteria to judge the quality of a cannabis flower. The one-of-a-kind guide was developed as an industrywide evaluation and education tool and will change the way consumers view and purchase cannabis flower.

“We don’t want to open the floodgates to come into the state that may not be committed to the state,” Meg adds. “It exposes the state to additional scrutiny that we may not need.”

“We’re big on education.” Meg says. “We’re not in this for the short term, as you’ve heard in Matthew’s story, but the long haul, so it’s important that we build educated customers.”

For now, Good Chemistry is banking that marijuana legalization will expand to other states, embarking on a new education campaign that aims to turn customers

Originally appeared in the April 20, 2016 issue.

You can pick up your copy of S.T.A.T.S. at Good Chemistry’s Capitol Hill store (330 E. Colfax Ave.) or their Aurora location (16840 E. Iliff Ave).


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P A U L B I N D E L

YOUNG POETS SPEAK OUT AFTER JESSIE HERNANDEZ WAS SHOT BY POLICE IN JANUARY 2015, LULU  Vigil felt called to put down her pen and take to the streets “I could write a poem, but it didn’t mean that everyone was going to listen to it,” she says. “I had to let it be known publicly. Queer kids of color were being murdered, and no one was doing anything about it. Jessie [Hernandez] could have been me. I couldn’t just sit idle while everything was happening.” Vigil, an indigenous queer 17 year old from southwest Denver, was highly involved in the slam poetry scene, competing nationally with her team Minor Disturbance at Brand New Voices in 2014. She was a 2015 finalist for Denver’s Youth Poet Laureate and won the 2015 slam competition for Denver Public schools. However, postFerguson, her heightened consciousness led to activism, inspiring her to organize the United Students March in December 2014; to help with marches for Paul Castaway, an indigenous man also shot by Denver police last July; and to protest Hernandez’s death.

HAS YOUR ACTIVISM RESURFACED IN YOUR POETRY?

ILLUSTRATION: HEIDI MORGAN

Slam poetry and being an activist go hand in hand; slam poetry is a form of activism. You are using your voice to talk to the issues you see in the community. In Native culture, having spoken word is a tradition of keeping the word alive. That’s really what slam poetry and activism are. In order to keep the revolution alive and moving, making sure people know about it, we have to keep poetry and activism in front of people.

YOU’VE WRITTEN ABOUT PANSEXUALITY. WHY DO YOU THINK MORE YOUNG PEOPLE IDENTIFY AS PAN?

The idea of pansexuality is that your attraction is not bound to one gender or the other. Being pansexual involves explaining what it is to others — gathering the courage to constantly explain it, especially as a high school student. It often feels like you have to validate yourself as queer. I may be in a heterosexual relationship at one moment, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not queer, and identifying as pansexual helps me to communicate that.

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TO DECOLONIZE QUEERNESS IS TO REALIZE THAT BEING TWO-SPIRITED IS OK. THE CREATOR GAVE YOU SOMETHING MORE; THE CREATOR BLESSED YOU. IT’S REALIZING WHAT IS YOURS AND NOT LETTING ANYBODY TALK YOU OUT OF IT. WHAT IS IT LIKE BEING A YOUNG QUEER PERSON NOW?

Queer people have overcome many obstacles, but today, many take for granted the work that’s been done. Honestly, being queer now is really chill. Society is open-minded, and we have many openly queer role models. The real issue is youth accepting themselves before they share their identity with the world. A big part of it is being comfortable in who you are, finding your group of people.

HOW DOES YOUR NATIVE IDENTITY INTERSECT WITH QUEERNESS?

It’s weird because you learn what it is to be native and what it is to be queer, and you have to put them together. You have no idea that natives were open to sexuality before colonization, then you realize that people who have gone through colonization have the colonized mindset of Christianity. Part of the reason natives are not accepting is because they colonized us like that, and it’s been beaten into us … being native, being young, being urban, and being queer is a lot of having to gather yourself and hold on tight.

HOW SO?

A lot of my high school life has been figuring out what is mine, figuring out what pieces I can claim. Most of [what I claim] predates colonization. Being queer and different was a part of being holy. You were more than normal. As an urban Indian, that history is not brought into the household. Being queer was ok once upon a time, but the fact that it isn’t ok now in my culture means that you have to decolonize it on your own. You have to decolonize queerness.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO DECOLONIZE QUEERNESS?

To decolonize queerness is to realize that being two-spirited is ok. The Creator gave you something more; the Creator blessed you. It’s realizing what is yours and not letting anybody talk you out of it.

WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD AS YOU HEAD OFF TO COLLEGE?

I only have three goals in life, and if I achieve these as an adult I’m sure I’ll be happy. I want to help others, either through my activism or through my poetry, I want to continue performing, and I want to travel. If I can do all of those at the same time, it’ll be a good outcome.

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Lulu Vigil’s first book of poetry High School Smoke Signals will be released on March 11 by Café Cultura.

MORGYNNE TORA WAS HOOKED ON SLAM POETRY from the moment their friend invited them to an open mic at the Mercury Café in 2010, and they toured the slam circuit with Minor Disturbance in 2015 to DC, LA, Atlanta, Albuquerque, and Houston, but it wasn’t until last summer that they felt like they discovered their voice. In the summer, they went to check out a newly opened Kava shop in Denver. Tora, a 19 year old Afro-Fijian who grew up in East Denver, was shocked. “They were serving Kava [a traditional Pacific Island drink] flavored with piña colada, and I thought, ‘This is so gross. This is my culture.’ I wrote a poem, calling out the owner for profiting off of native culture. When I read it, people understood the theme of profiting of appropriations. But when I went to Hawaii, I performed it in front of people from the South Pacific, and it was a deeper connection. People came up to thank me. I realized I needed to be a voice when people look for young people speaking from the South Pacific Islands.” Tora wanted not only to speak as a young person to their Pacific Islander community but also to speak as an Afro-Fijian to broader American society: “Pacific Islanders are still treated as a tourist attraction. Most people can’t even point Fiji on a map. I didn’t like feeling erased, so I started speaking. My poetry is an assertion that we’re still here. We survived.”

HOW ELSE DID YOU SENSE YOUR CALLING TO POETRY?

Being in Atlanta this last summer was liberating — 70% of the poets at Brand New Voices are black. I am Afro-Fijian, but I had never been in a place that was afrocentric, that was safe for black, queer artists. A lot of folks are stuck in the story that blackness only exists in American blackness, but I was able to see the possibility to share mine as a black Fijian.

HOW DID YOU CONNECT THE DOTS BETWEEN YOUR CULTURAL IDENTITY AND POETRY?

Like many indigenous cultures, story and legends play a big role in keeping Fijian culture alive. When I was [at college], I realized that poetry spoke to me because I had a duty to relay the story of myself and the story of my people. It’s not so much focused on myself. It’s focused on how can people understand their culture and the story of our survival. I want to preserve our oral history


WAS FIJIAN CULTURE IMPORTANT TO YOUR FAMILY GROWING UP?

I grew up Christian, and my family was very traditional. My mother was strict, born and raised in the church. In 2012, someone outed me to my mom, which led to a shift in my spiritual identity. As an indigenous person from the South Pacific, I had to decolonize myself and recognize that isn’t my god or my culture. The process brought me to see identities that exist in indigenous culture that are not recognized in white America. I am speaking now from where I stand as a queer Pacific Islander and asserting, ‘We have always existed. Our gender identities have been colonized and decolonized over and over again.’

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WHAT DOES YOUR SPIRITUALITY LOOK LIKE NOW?

Fijian indigenous spirituality is connected to ancestral energy and recognizing that you are part of it at every moment. Our path is not selfish, but our duty is to tell stories or to preserve traditions. My sister has an affinity for all of the traditions and norms. She knows what to do at functions. My duty is storytelling, keeping oral history.

DO YOU EXPERIENCE CONFLICT FROM ATTENDING A RELIGIOUS UNIVERSITY?

Church policy is that you can be queer in the church, but you cannot act on your feelings, so you’re celibate. I am not out [at school] because it’s a more traditional atmosphere of Pacific Island culture and religious culture mixed together. I have kind of drifted away from the church just because I can’t exist in my own intersections and also be in the church. They’re not there yet, and I don’t think they will be any time soon.

BUT YOU FEEL CONNECTED TO PEOPLE IN THE POETRY COMMUNITY?

The poetry community has given me an inclusive space in my own gender identity and sexuality. I feel valid and affirmed because poetry is all about living your truth, as long as it doesn’t harm yourself or other people. It’s been amazing to be a part of a community that sees me in all of my intersections. That means the world to me.

WHAT IS YOUR PERSPECTIVE ON QUEER CULTURE AS A WHOLE?

In the states, I think that white cis gay men are the face of the movement. There are spaces that are inclusive of queer people of color. But at large, it’s still colonial and restricted to binaries — the way we think of identity is still rigid. That’s not from individual people, but as a system, it’s whitewashed and has a culture of erasure.

WHAT DO YOU HOPE FOR YOUNG QUEER PEOPLE? My big thing is safety. I want people to feel safe and have safe spaces. From where my craft comes from, I always say that new language and vocabulary is how we get free. Once we have vocabulary about the things that are hurting us and language for the things building up inside of us, we can liberate ourselves. I want young queer people to have vocabulary to talk about their identities and I want them to feel safe. Originally appeared in the February 17, 2016 issue.

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TAILOR Crossplay and Gender Bending in the Cosplay Community

Everyone in Denver knows that Pride usually overlaps with the uber-geek convention, Denver Comic Con. There’s even a running joke that sometimes, on this particular weekend, it’s impossible to tell if those strolling through downtown are on their way to PrideFest or Comic Con. That’s because Denver Comic Con, like Pride, features its own version of drag.

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Randy Robinson

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Cosplay dominates geek conventions. Attendees don the visages of their favorite pop-culture characters from comics, film, video games, and television. For some cosplayers, that means taking on the identity of a character who may be a gender different than their own. This drag version of cosplay falls under two categories: “crossplay” and “gender bending.” Crossplay occurs whenever a cosplayer’s outfit presents a character of their opposite gender. Crossplay is the cosplay equivalent to cross-dressing. Gender bending, which is trickier to pin down, happens whenever a cosplayer switches the gender (or sex) of a character. And according to people who’ve been knee-deep in the convention scene, this queerish phenomena may be on the rise. Kaai Santerelli is a professional cosplayer who built his career on crossplay and bending. At this year’s Denver Comic Con, he arrived as a feminized version of Captain America — adorned in an anne-styled wig and an Old-Glory-fashioned cocktail dress he hand-stitched himself. Instead of carrying an indestructible shield, he wielded a dainty purse with a white star at its center. For over three years, Santerelli traveled around the country judging for cosplay competitions. He says that as LGBT communities gain more media exposure, crossplay and bending have become more common, too. “Heterosexual and homosexual people alike — cis and trans — are able to express their gender, as they feel it in the moment, a lot more often,” Santerelli says. “Politically, socially, and culturally we’re changing and challenging what it is to be male or female.” Even the comics industry took note of this sea change with gender identities. Traditionally, comic books created female versions of their popular male characters, such as SheHulk, Supergirl, and X-23. In 2014, Marvel did something completely unexpected and switched the sex of Thor, one of their most prized franchises. Santerelli notes, “Thor’s hammer says, ‘Whosoever holds this hammer shall wield the power of Thor,’ not ‘himsoever.’” 4 8 \\ D E C E M B E R 0 7 , 2 0 1 6

Another professional cosplayer, who goes by the name Warumono, presented at a Comic Con panel titled “Crossplay and Gender Bending,” where he gave makeup and clothing tips to other crossplayers. For nearly a decade, he’s flown coast-to-coast to attend conventions, typically cosplaying as male Japanese rock stars known for their androgynous get-ups and homoerotic stage antics. Regarding crossplay and bending, he stressed that these behaviors aren’t new. “I’ve seen people crossplaying all the time, even back in the day before it was okay to be out,” Waru says. “Crossplay in the convention scene was always really popular. It’s more popular crossplaying women-to-men than men-to-women, probably because it’s more socially acceptable.” At this year’s Denver Comic Con, women did, in fact, crossplay or bend more than the men attendees. Jennifer Leigh Garfield, who regularly gender-bends her cosplay, weighed in on this disparity between female and male cosplayers. For her, cosplaying a female character often means being scantily clad. Since cosplayers strive to accurately depict their characters, women who prefer lessexposing costumes are stuck with just a handful of modestly dressed female characters. There’s also the issue of simply wanting to depict a character someone loves. “Just because you’re female doesn’t mean you particularly relate to female characters, since there’s a lot more to people than just gender,” Garfield says. “A male character may just resonate more. So there are many more options available to female cosplayers if they opt to bend or cross.” The choice to cross or bend ultimately depends on personal preference — with a dash of bravery. One cosplayer at Denver Comic Con gave some advice to her fellow cosplayers. Luna Acquavella, who is also an LGBT advocate, explains that most people never think twice about the more outlandish choices for cosplay. “If people can dress up as Transformers, zombies, and Wookies,” she says, “then you can dress as any gender you desire. Never let factors out of your control determine who you choose to cosplay. Be yourself and never apologize for it.” Originally appeared in the July 06, 2016 issue.


SANTA SPEEDO DASH The 5th Annual Santa Speedo Dash was held at Mead Street Station on December 10th. Seventy-five scantily clad holiday revelers decked their halls with boughs of holly for the 1-mile fun run through the Highlands. This year’s event helped raise funds for “Life Is Better Rescue”, an animal rescue group based in Denver. Photos by Charles Broshous

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TO BE WITH HER

OR TO BE HER? Addison Herron-Wheeler

THIS AGE-OLD QUESTION HAS BEEN ECHOING IN the minds of femme lesbians, trans women, femme bi women, and even straight men who like to dress in drag since time immemorial. Being attracted sexually to women, while also wanting to do your hair the same way they do or find out where they got that cute dress, is an issue that lots of women face. This can be confusing — sometimes even painfully so — for those who are not out, who are struggling to understand their feelings, or who deal with self-esteem issues. However, this doesn’t have to be a negative thing. Celebrating femininity can happen on many levels, from striving to be someone, be with someone, or just generally celebrate the female form. Being attracted to women and being female offers up an interesting paradigm for gay and bi women. From personal experience, it’s not uncommon to see a woman who is both a standard of beauty to ascribe to and an icon of attraction. 5 0 \\ D E C E M B E R 0 7 , 2 0 1 6

Laura Prepon’s Alex Vause is a perfect example of this. When her character debuted on Orange is the New Black, tons of women drooled over her gorgeous height, hair, and sexy-girlwith-glasses appeal. However, did those same women not also envy how she can make a prison jumpsuit look sexy, how her makeup and hair are flawless despite her incarcerated condition, and how she even looks great when she cries? It’s almost impossible not to have these feelings — attractive women cause attraction — but as femme women, we also want to look that good. However, everything discussed up until now has fit into the category of the heteronormative to some degree. It’s one thing to want better hair or cuter clothes, and also kind of want to get the number of the girl with the great hair. But it’s quite another to be constructing your entire female identity based on your perceptions, as well as pursuing women romantically. So naturally, I wanted the input of a transwoman on this fascinating topic.


My friend Drew came out and began her transition later in life, so she had a whole lifetime of experience being attracted to women and secretly wanting to look like them, as well as some recent experience actually putting those ideas into practice and working on her feminine identity. I asked her about this confusing quandary, whether it has ever posed a problem for her, and how it affects her daily life. “It affects everything,” she admits. “I’m constantly realizing things about myself. As a transgender person, I have a different perspective on a lot of issues than most people do, and I think this has led to me doing a lot more conscious thinking about gender roles as they exist in our society.” “Since I came out, I have realized my previous feelings of attraction to particular people who more an attraction to their style, or a feeling of wanting to be them more than anything,” she elaborates. “I have a cis lesbian friend who once described feeling like she wanted to ‘both be and f*ck’ certain women and I related to it really hard.” However, Drew also points out the other, not so shiny, side of the coin: Sometimes women strive to be the women they want to be with because of societal standards of beauty, which are not attainable, nor should they be, for everyone woman. “Of course, this is also an intersectional issue, because anyone who does not fit the societal definition of ‘conventional

attractiveness’ will run afoul of these same problems, whether they are cis or trans,” she adds. “Maybe it’s because of their race, their size, or their height; maybe it has to do with physical health or sexuality or any of a dozen other potential issues. Regardless, almost every woman has to deal with this struggle and it just helps remind me that problems that plague trans women also plague black women, disabled women, cis queer women, and a lot of other women. Most of us look nothing like Megan Fox or Kate Moss. So really, every woman I know who is able to be her own true self and rock a style that she can be proud of — or even feel comfortable enough to leave the house in — is a style inspiration to me. It feels like just existing in the world as an actual human woman is an act of courage, and when we can find the confidence to do it proudly and defiantly in the face of everything that rains down on us all the time, we’re all beautiful. I really do mean this.” Bottom line, femme women are beautiful, all of us, so it’s completely natural that we breed imitation as well as attraction. As long as we all practice consent and cordiality when it comes to style inspiration and telling a woman she’s got it going on, we can all truly celebrate the beauty of being feminine on all levels. Originally appeared in the July 20, 2016 issue.

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PERSPECTIVES

Don Alderson I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU SAY, CHILDREN ARE A SEXUALLY  transmitted disease. Think about it: People have unprotected sex, then the next thing they know, someone’s tested positive for the baby virus. After that devastating news, for the next nine months this tiny little creature will grow inside your body, slowly feeding away on your insides. Then, when it’s reached its maximum growth, it’ll start clawing and fighting its way out. I view this process to be similar to that of those Aliens movies with Sigourney Weaver, where the hell-beast rips through you, leaving a bloody pool of carnage. Sounds terrible, right? It’s not over. Once the creature has exited its host body, it’ll spend the next 18 years asking for money — I’m not even kidding. I know many people who’ve caught the baby virus and all they talk about is how much money it costs. Apparently in some states and countries, you are legally obligated to pay for housing this walking and breathing reminder of your unprotected coitus. But fear not! Depending on your gender and sexual orientation, there is some good news. Men are only carriers of the baby virus — it’s women who show all the symptoms. Also, transmission of the baby virus is only possible when sex is had between a male and a female. Gay men and women are all safe from the virus. I like to think of this as a blessing from God Herself. I personally have three sisters and all of them are heterosexually challenged. Due to unprotected sex, they all have managed to become infected. My oldest sister got it twice. My middle sister and her husband intentionally caught the baby virus and my youngest sister caught a morphed version which lead to two creatures coming out of her at once! Me: “I’d like to buy a vowel, Pat — U.”

Pat: “There’s one U, Don.” “Ok, I’d like to solve the puzzle: FUNK THAT!’” Besides the creature asking for money, there are other side effects of this particular plague. You’re tired. Like, all the time. I’ve seen my sisters and their husbands cope with the baby virus, and they always look exhausted. I would suggest they take a vacation, but the bags under their eyes are so big, the TSA would confuse them for unchecked luggage. Could you imagine? “I’m sorry ma’am but you’re only allowed one carry on — oh, damn! That’s your face! My apologies.” Plus, they probably couldn’t afford a vacation due to their bank accounts being held hostage by their little breathing STD. They’ve actually given names to all their baby viruses too. Really cute names! I figure that’s a lot like how people call herpes a “cold sore” when it’s on your face, even though it’s totally herpes. It lessens the blow of embarrassment when forced to talk about it publicly. Know what I mean? On a few occasions I’ve heard my sisters say, “It’s hard, but it’s rewarding.” They even smile sometimes and almost appear happy. I guess we all find ways to cope with our choices. Obviously, denial is a popular option. As a gay man, I just have to thank my lucky stars that the good Lord designed the system so that my fellow gays and I don’t have to live in fear of testing positive for the baby virus. On the other hand, being a parent to an STD could be fun — at least we get to decide when we’re ready to take that plunge. If I ever decide to become a dad, I want the bags under my eyes to be Gucci. Simply fabulous. Originally appeared in the April 06, 2016 issue.

NOTE: The author means this as satire. Or so he says. (We think kids are actually awesome.) 5 4 \\ D E C E M B E R 0 7 , 2 0 1 6

PHOTO // EMRAN KASSIM

KIDS ARE THE SCARIEST STD

I’ve seen my sisters and their husbands cope with the baby virus, and they always look exhausted. I would suggest they take a vacation, but the bags under their eyes are so big, the TSA would confuse them for unchecked luggage.


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