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CO N T ENTS
VOLUME 38
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ISSUE 21
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From the Editor
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Supreme Court to Decide on Same-Sex Marriage Before June
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News
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Police Kill 17-Year-Old Sparking Protests and LGBT Community Support
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Colorado Springs Pride Center Closes, New Centers May Rise
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#Winning (Marriage)
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Wine, Dine, and Valentine
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Get Off Via Social Media
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Some Strange Birds and Bees
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Keeping the Faith
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ESPN’s Luke Van Valin
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Cars That Can Really Turn You On
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Legal Directory
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Calendar
28
Americatus, the Beautiful
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Nothing Butt Russell Tovey
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Marketplace
[NSFW]
S I I H T
E SSU
IS
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Czech Him Out: Gay Matchmaking in the Mile High City
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Five films that are definitely NSFW
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How Do Lesbians Have Sex?
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Threesomes, Foursomes, and Moresomes
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Kink & Fetishes
40 Misadventures at Midtowne Spa 41
Just a Little T.L.C. (Tender Lovin’ Companionship)
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Sleeping with Straight People
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Cupid Ain’t Stupid: Valentine’s Gifts That’ll Getcha Some
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9 Signs “Bae” Might Be Cheating
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Bar Tab
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Film Beat
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Bands on the Run
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Ask the Sexpert: Sweetening The Deal
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BackWords Cover Photo Credits: Photos: Jay Diers, Jaededart Studios Model: Aaron Stephens Hair and Grooming: Jody Martinez Bang Salon @ Wash Park Editing: Andrew Chupp
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SERVING THE LGBT COMMUNITY OF THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS SINCE 1976 3535 Walnut Street, Denver, Colorado 80205 Phone: (%("),,")%%% Fax: 303-325-2642 Web: OutFrontOnline.com Facebook: facebook.com/OutFrontColorado Twitter: 5Dji;gdci8D Instagram: /OutFrontColorado Out Front is published by Q Publishing, Ltd., a Colorado corporation and is a member of: Denver Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce and Denver Drama Critics Circle. FOUNDER PHIL PRICE, 1954-1993
We will be your
Valentine.
ADMINISTRATION info@outfrontonline.com JERRY CUNNINGHAM, Publisher J.C. MCDONALD, Vice President MAGGIE PHILLIPS, Operations Manager JEFF JACKSON SWAIM, Chief Strategist EDITORIAL editorial@outfrontonline.com BERLIN SYLVESTRE, Editor NOAH L. JORDAN, Digital Content Manager CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Chris Azzopardi, Kirstin Graber, O’Brian Gunn, Kyle Harris, Brent Heinze, Shanna Katz, Gary M. Kramer, Topher La Fleur, Kelsey Lindsey, Scott McGlothlen, Jonathan McGrew, Gregg Shapiro, Nico Stoerner, Kari Sutton, Robyn Vie-Carpenter, and Mike Yost MARKETING & SALES marketing@outfrontonline.com DUSTIN KRIER, Director of Sales JORDAN JACOBS, Senior Marketing Executive TOPHER LA FLEUR, Marketing Executive JAY DUQUE, Marketing & Events Coordinator NATIONAL ADVERTISING G^kZcYZaa BZY^V $ '&'"')'"+-+( hVaZh5g^kZcYZaabZY^V#Xdb
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Out Front’s print publication is available semi-monthly, free of charge in Colorado, one copy per person. Additional copies of Out Front may be purchased for $3.95 each, payable in advance at Out Front offices located at 3535 Walnut Street, Denver CO, 80205. Out Front is delivered only to authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of Out Front, take more than one copy of Out Front. Any person who takes more than one copy may be held liable for theft, including but not limited to civil damages and or criminal prosecution.
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Reproduction of editorial, photographic or advertising content without written consent of the publisher is strictly prohibited. Advertisers are responsible for securing rights to any copyrighted material within their advertisements. Publisher assumes no responsibility for the claims of advertisers and reserves the right to reject any advertising. Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization in articles or advertising is not to be considered an indication of the sexual orientation or HIV status of such person or organization. Publisher assumes no responsibility for the loss or damage of materials submitted. OPINIONS EXPRESSED are not necessarily those of OUT FRONT, its staff, or advertisers.
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F RO M THE EDI TOR L
ike legs, the magazine industry goes two ways around Valentine’s Day. For all the saccharine, “love is in the air” business that the sunnier publications break into, you get the industry cynics trying desperately to convince you that bitchy singles are in this season … again. (Hey, guys: 2005 called, said you can keep the bitchy singles concept if you like it that much.) To shake it up, the editorial team at Out Front decided to opt out of the norm this year and head straight for the good stuff: sexy sex and any of its variants that our freelancers wanted to talk about. Now before we dig in, I’d like to preface The [NSFW] Issue by asserting that safe sex is an absolute must, and to remind y’all that our last issue (The PrEP Squad) is an excellent account of how to keep HIV at bay if you roll with the Condoms Suck crew. Do check it out, and do explore other safe-routes in your future dalliances. You know I call you L’Oreal, right? I think you’re worth it. But for real, by the time you finish your flip-through, I’m sure you’ll find that this issue is pretty mild. While the team wanted willing freelancers to explore different facets of their sex lives in our pages, for obvious reasons we didn’t let it get too freaky-deaky. (We’re still a free publication, c’mon; kids grab this thing from our stands around town.) Anyway, let me get on outta here and let the writers do their thing. Freaky selves ... Mad love from RiNo, Berlin.
SUPREME COURT TO DECIDE ON SAME-SEX MARRIAGE BEFORE JUNE Berlin Sylvestre THE SUPREME COURT OF THE UNITED STATES has agreed to decide whether all 50 states must marry same-sex couples, and they’ll do so before their current term ends in June. With Alabama on board as of last month, there are currently 37 states that allow samesex marriage, meaning more than 75 percent of Americans live in a state where marriage equality is a reality. So what do legal experts think will happen? According to the New York Times: “Based on the court’s failure to act in October and its last three major gay rights rulings, most observers expect the court to establish a nationwide constitutional right to same-sex marriage.” Shortly after the news broke, Attorney General Eric Holder had this to say: “After the Justice Department’s decision not to defend the constitutionality of Section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act, the Supreme Court sent
a powerful message that Americans in same-sex marriages are entitled to equal protection and equal treatment under the law. “The Supreme Court has announced that it will soon hear several cases raising core questions concerning the constitutionality of same-sex marriages. As these cases proceed, the Department of Justice will remain committed to ensuring that the benefits of marriage are available as broadly as possible, and we will keep striving to secure equal treatment for all members of society — regardless of sexual orientation. “As such, we expect to file a ‘friend of the court’ brief in these cases that will urge the Supreme Court to make marriage equality a reality for all Americans. It is time for our nation to take another critical step forward to ensure the fundamental equality of all Americans — no matter who they are, where they come from, or whom they love.” Maybe 2015 is the year, ladies and gentleman. Pins and needles, SCOTUS.
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N EWS
Fact-checked, Web-approved The hottest Out Front stories this side of the LGBT news cycle. SAME-SEX MARRIAGE A “GO” IN ALABAMA A federal judge in Alabama has become the latest to strike down a ban on same-sex marriage, ruling against the Yellowhammer State’s prohibition on same-sex marriage. e bit.ly/ofc-alabama TRANSGENDER WOMAN MURDERED IN TEXAS Texas police are investigating the January 26 murder of 24-year-old Ty Underwood. e bit.ly/ofc-texas “I AM MICHAEL” MAKES ITS SUNDANCE DEBUT We all heard James Franco was doing a homosexual movie. We knew he would play a gay character alongside Zachary Quinto, but when a sexy threesome with Charlie Carver was announced, we suddenly became even more interested. e bit.ly/ofc-michael
Clockwise from top: Anderson Cooper, Ty Underwood, “Amazing Race” contestants Harley Rodriguez & Jonathan Knight, James Franco & Zachary Quinto in “I Am Michael”
ANDERSON COOPER RESPONDS TO LARRY TOMCZAK It’s been a minute since anti-gay pastor Larry Tomczak wrote his ridiculous post on the secret Hollywood agenda to turn innocent children into homosexuals by making it look acceptable in the media. Cooper weighed in on an “Ellen Show” appearance. e bit.ly/ofc-cooper FORMER NEW KID ON THE BLOCK JONATHAN KNIGHT APPEARS ON THE AMAZING RACE … WITH BOYFRIEND Jon and boyfriend Harley Rodriguez will be one of the featured duos on the upcoming season. e bit.ly/ofc-amazing OUT FRONT IS LOOKING FOR FRESH VOICES IN OUR MAGAZINE! The assignments are fun, the work is steady, and the pay depends on how many stories you pick up and if they’re fit to print. Industry experience is preferred, but if you can write well (but have never been published) that might be fine, too. (We’ll just need writing samples.) The ability to tell a good story is a must. We employ humor and that “letter from a friend” feel in our work here. Though snark is a mainstay for a few of our freelancers, we still like to keep things positive. e Email writing samples to Berlin@ OutFrontOnline.com and we’ll go from there.
Keep in touch! Visit us online at outfrontonline.com for the latest news & updates. Or get social at facebook.com/OutFrontColorado
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POLICE KILL 17-YEAR-OLD SPARKING PROTESTS AND LGBT COMMUNITY SUPPORT A car hits a cop, the officer is injured, police open fire at the driver. This narrative has repeated itself in Denver at least four times over the past seven months. In Park Hill, at dawn on January 26, the story played out again. Kyle Harris THE DENVER POLICE DEPARTMENT SAYS JESSICA “JESSIE” HERNANDEZ, 17, drove a stolen car toward two officers and hit one, prompting police to open fire and shoot Jessie multiple times, fatally. A friend, who was also in the car, reported to 9 News that police shot at the car before it struck the officer. The Denver Police Internal Affairs Bureau is investigating the killing and has launched an inquiry into the police department’s right to shoot at moving cars. Chief Robert White identified the two police officers involved in the shooting: Daniel Greene and Gabriel Jordan. As information about Jessie was made public, many in the LGBTQ community rallied. Eleanor Dewey, the director of Branching Seedz of Resistance, the Colorado Anti-Violence Program’s LGBTQ youth project says the impact of the shooting is ricocheting throughout Colorado’s Jessica “Jessie” Hernandez queer and trans youth. “A lot of our youth are taking this hard because it hits so close to home,” she says. “For a lot of them, what this last year has been with so much police violence … now, more than ever, our youth are totally at a loss of what to do and how to keep themselves safe. Our youth are afraid of the cops, because there is so little you can do and such little power you have in incidents like this.” Vigils, rallies, and demonstrations have taken place across the city. Protesters demonstrated outside the District Attorney’s office, Tuesday, Jan. 27. There, Anthony Grimes, of the Denver Freedom Riders, spoke to the press about the intersections between racism, homophobia, and police violence. Reverend Patrick Dempsey and others talked about Jessie’s death in relation to a string of police killings in Denver over the past few decades. Protesters held signs including: “Don’t shoot unarmed teens,” “Lethal Force is Terror,” and “Denver Police Hands Off Queer Youth of Color.” After speaking with the press, protesters entered the Webb building and demanded a meeting with Denver District Attorney Mitch Morrissey, who staff said was out of the office. In a heated discussion with two representatives of the district attorney’s office, protesters pointed out that the D.A.’s office has not prosecuted a police officer for killing since the 1990s. After the protests at the D.A.’s office, Denver’s Independent Monitor, which oversees investigations into the conduct of the police, announced that they would review the police department’s protocol for opening fire on moving vehicles. Jessie’s cousin Jose Castaneda spoke to the crowd about the struggle his family will have paying for the funeral and the already tight economic circumstances Jessie’s mother lives under. “Nobody is going to repay me for my cousin’s life.” Jessie grew up in a house with six children and a mother who struggled to feed her kids, Castaneda says. But Jessie was the family’s joy. “[Jessie] was always smiling. It kills me because I can still see that smile,” he says. Dewey says there has been a national call for financial support and that people have expressed interest in aiding the family. Coordination efforts are underway. Jessie’s killing comes in the wake of the public protest against the killing of Mike Brown in Ferguson, Missouri and Eric Garner in New York City. Protests against police violence have been on the rise in Denver since the police killed Ryan Ronquillo, a 20-year-old man, outside the Romero Funeral Home, during services for his friend. 10
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CO LO RADO SPRI NGS P RIDE CENTER C LOS ES, NE W CENTERS MAY RIS E Kyle Harris
ABOVE: FACES OF COLORADO SPRINGS PRIDE 2014. PHOTOS BY CHARLES BROSHOUS 12
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“We started there, and then took a look and said, ‘No, that’s not enough. We WHEN THE COLORADO SPRINGS basically have to close these doors.’ The LGBT COMMUNITY got wind that the board decided on Jan. 8, at a regular board city’s Pride Center was shutting its doors, meeting, to dissolve the organization in many worried that the community would the hopes that a new one would take over lose a critical political voice. But the center’s — perhaps even more than one. It came financial struggles and waning relevance down to a decision for the community. made it impossible for the nonprofit to It was irresponsible to continue, and we fulfill its mission, says Eric Marcum, the knew we’d have people who would take center’s last board president. over and make a fresh start,” Marcum says. “The Pride Center wasn’t seen as effec- “There were several directors with tears tive. To a certain extent, [critics] were right,” in their eyes. They made a hard decision, Marcum says. Over the years, the organiza- but they made the right one. They made tion established political ties to the city’s the responsible decision.” conservative leadership, opened a cyber The legacy of the Pride Center lives café, and hosted a robust library. However, on through some of the recent legislative funding cuts from the Gill Foundation and victories: anti-discrimination laws, the others forced the center to seek funds from legalization of civil unions, and now marnew sources, individual donors, and corpo- riage, Marcum says. “We gained a lot of ground in the last rate sponsors. “As we were losing our grants, I think 37 years. To view it as a failure is not the board or treasurer or executive direc- looking at the history of the center. We just tor at the time thought those grants were came to the point where a new one would coming back — then we started to get in be better.” a hole with the IRS,” says Marcum. “The One of Marcum’s favorite stories about last two years — since I’ve been on the the Pride Center happened last year, when board — [we’ve] been very responsible a 65-year-old man showed up, over several and have taken our debt down. Our debt days. Outside, he paced in front of the was somewhere around $25,000 and it was center. “We were getting a little nervous twice that a little over a year ago.” that he was going to bomb the place. That’s To cut the debt, resources had to be not a laughing matter. You see what hapslashed. The library, the cyber café, and pened to the NAACP down here. the political advocacy work waned; endless “He asked to speak to Charlie, our fundraising began. executive director. Charlie didn’t know “That rubbed some people the wrong what to make of this guy, because he was way, and I don’t blame nervous and shaking like them,” Marcum says. he could do some serious Feeling heat from past “ W E G A I N E D A L O T O F damage. Charlie sat him donors, the organization G R O U N D I N T H E L A S T 3 7 down and said, ‘What reassessed its mission Y E A R S . T O V I E W I T A S A can we help you with?’ and recommitted itself to The guy said, ‘I’m dying. I FA I L U R E I S N O T L O O K I N G being a voice for the LGBT have to tell someone that community in the city. AT T H E H I S T O R Y O F T H E I’m gay.’ Last summer’s PrideFest C E N T E R . W E J U S T C A M E T O “Charlie put him was a financial boon for at ease and put him THE POINT WHERE A NEW in touch with several the organization, giving support groups. The the team enough courage O N E W O U L D B E B E T T E R .” to push on. man died recently, but But it wasn’t enough to survive. he died his true self. We helped a lot of “Once we got ourselves back on track people come out of the closet or be more about what our mission should be as the confident or be more in touch with their voice of the LGBTQ community in this area, rights. We were the voice of our communiit was too late,” Marcum says. ties,” Marcum says. Funding had dried up. There were no As for the future, two groups have more individual donors to tap. The com- emerged. One plans to take over the city’s munity felt burned. Without money, the PrideFest, the annual parade; the other center had to make more cuts. “We were hopes to fill some of the social and political behind on paying the executive director. functions the center had. With new centers I stopped and said, ‘We can’t do this any emerging, Marcum feels confident about more. If we can’t pay the executive director, the board’s decision. if we can’t pay our payroll taxes, if we’re “The majority opinion down here is, ‘It’s scrambling to pay rent, some things have sad, but let’s celebrate the 37 years we had got to stop.’ and get started on a new organization.”
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# W I N N I NG (MARRIAGE) AUTHOR MARC SOLOMON EXAMINES OUR MARRIAGE EQUALITY VICTORIES Noah L. Jordan THERE WAS A TIME NOT TOO LONG AGO, when no state allowed same-sex couples to marry. It’s weird to think that way, but it was only ten years ago. Sure, back then I was still a young, closeted, high school student not even thinking about the idea of marriage, but that was only me. Ten years ago, there were adults — homosexual adults — fighting for equal rights, so that when I hit that point in my life, marriage would actually be an option. Back then, there wasn’t even a massive amount of support for gay marriage. We didn’t have presidents (big ups to Obama) openly declaring the support of our people — the L, the G, the B, and the T. It was a different time, and many from my generation will never truly understand just how we got here. In “Winning Marriage,” Marc Solomon points out that none of this was luck; it was strategy. Solomon also charts how the marriage-equality movement found itself on the brink of victory and provides a blueprint to other movements on how to win it once and for all. While much has been done to legalize samesex marriage, the fight for equality is nowhere near completion, a point that Solomon strives to drive home. Sure, it feels like we’ve already
come this far, so at this point same-sex marriage is bound to finally be legal in all states. It’s easy to feel complacent and comfortable, but we shouldn’t because until same-sex is indeed legal in every state, our fight for equality is ongoing. Now it is highly unusual that I (a young, black, and gay man) find myself engaging in this type of book. I tend to avoid novels that involve politics, civil rights, or really anything that isn’t campy, sappy, or full of asinine hilarity. I’ve always felt like I didn’t need to know these types of stories because let’s be honest, I assumed other people would fight the battle and then one day I would reap the reward. It’s not a fair statement by any means, but it’s true. But, when I found myself thumbing through the pages of Solomon’s book that encompassed all those things I avoided, something clicked. It challenged me. It motivated me. And it enlightened me, making it easy for my lengthy and nimble fingers to keep flipping pages. Despite being not the lightest of reads, Solomon’s writing and the final product of “Winning Marriage” speaks for itself. It may not be everyone’s cup of tea, and it certainly wasn’t mine at first, but by the end that charge you get from reading something thought provoking is a feeling everyone should experience.
GAY DATING APP SCORES BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE SUPER BOWL HOST STADIUM Sports enthusiasts visiting Glendale, Ariz., for Super Bowl XLIX will be greeted by two 48x14-foot digital billboards hoping to spark conversation about equality and acceptance in sports. The campaign by SCRUFF, a gay social networking application used by 7 million people worldwide, features two men eyeing each other in a locker room alongside the slogan “Play On Our Team.” “While the oversized cultural statement is obviously an attempt to attract more members, it’s also a nod to brave athletes like Michael Sam and Kwame Harris, begging the question: What does ‘gay’ look like?” the company said in a statement.
Scruff spent $3,500 for the billboards during Super Bowl week, and already appears likely to see an impressive return on the investment. About half a million people are expected to be exposed to the ads, and already Scruff has seen a 20 percent increase in new profile creations in the Phoenix area, compared with the same period last year, spokesman Daniel DeMello told Newsweek. Since the first of the year, the app has generated more than a million logins in Arizona. Report from LGBTQNation.com
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B R I G H T E R AT B R O A D WAY ’ S A capacity crowd packed the new and improved Broadways on January 24, where things just got a hell of a lot brighter. New colors, new lights, and a new sound system help maximize your experience while drinking, dancing, and socializing. Photos by Charles Broshous
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FAIR WINDS BALLOON FLIGHTS
BRECKENRIDGE
WINE, DINE, AND VALENTINE
Valentine’s Day is around the corner, Coloradans. Let’s get creative.
ULEY’S CABIN
GAME CREEK RESTAURANT IN VAIL Game Creek Restaurant offers couples a romantic dinner with stunning mountain views. After a short ride up the Eagle Bahn Gondola, a snowcat serves as transportation for the night. Upon arrival, enjoy a gourmet dinner on the mountain while gazing at the Game Creek Bowl. gamecreekvail.com
Carly Holbrook LOVELAND FIRE & ICE FESTIVAL Loveland, Colorado is known as the nation’s Sweetheart City and is home to the largest Valentine re-mailing program in the country. Here, heartshaped love notes dot the streets and The Fire & Ice Festival (Feb. 13 – 14) transforms 4th Street with lighting projections, illuminations, and fireworks accompanied by ice sculptures, free music, and romantic carriage rides. withlovefromloveland.com GLENWOOD HOT SPRINGS Glenwood Hot Springs Resort, home to the world’s largest hot springs pool, offers cozy accommodations and luxurious amenities. The Resort’s Romance Package includes truffles and champagne, a romantic dinner at The Pullman restaurant, unlimited access to the hot springs pool, breakfast, and a $100 spa credit. Guests can choose from the one, two, or three-night options. hotspringspool.com 18
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ULEY’S CABIN SLEIGH RIDE DINNER IN CRESTED BUTTE Cuddled beneath blankets, couples ride in an open sleigh pulled by a snowcat to Uley’s Cabin. Upon arrival, enjoy a Valentine’s dinner that features Colorado cuisine with French influences. Sleigh ride dinners are available Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday evenings. skicb.com/uleys FAIR WINDS HOT AIR BALLOON FLIGHTS IN BOULDER Fair Winds Hot Air Balloon Flights offers a balloon ride over Boulder with breathtaking views of the Boulder Flatirons, the Colorado plains, and wildlife. Champagne, a continental breakfast, flight certificate, and more are included in every Fair Winds Hot Air Balloon Flight. hotairballoonridescolorado.com CAT SKIING IN KEYSTONE A guided cat-skiing tour with Keystone Adventure Tours is a unique activity for the adventurous couple. Tickets include a lift ticket, powder ski rentals,
Photo: Ron Behrmann
GLENWOOD HOT SPRINGS
KEYSTONE CAT SKIING
GAME CREEK RESTAURANT
PIKES PEAK COG RAILWAY
a tour guide, and lunch. Following cat skiing, relax with the Champagne & Chocolate Indulgence package at The Keystone Spa with a 50-minute massage, a pedicure, and a glass of champagne. keystoneresort.com DOG SLEDDING IN BRECKENRIDGE Good Times Adventures offers dog-sledding tours for couples. The six-mile tour winds along the trails of the Swan River Valley, and guests switch off between running the dogs, riding in the dogsled, and riding on a sleigh with the guide. Mush! goodtimesadventures.com SPRINGS RESORT AND SPA IN PAGOSA SPRINGS Take a dip in one of the 23 mineral soaking pools with your loved one at The Springs Resort and Spa. The resort offers a Valentine’s Day Package for the entire month of February. This package includes a one-night stay for two, a 60-minute couple’s massage, 24-hour hot springs passes, and champagne. pagosahotsprings.com
DANNY ELFMAN’S MUSIC FROM THE FILMS OF TIM BURTON FEB 6-7 FRI 7:30 T SAT 2:30
This brand new symphonic event features Danny Elfman’s famous film scores brought to life on stage by the orchestra, enhanced by visuals of Tim Burton’s original film sketches, drawings and story boards on the big screen.
coloradosymphony.org T303.623.7876
Box office 1000 14th Street, Denver, CO 80202 mon-fri: 10 am - 6 pm T sat 12 pm - 6 pm Boettcher Concert Hall at the Denver Performing Arts Complex
PIKES PEAK COG RAILWAY IN COLORADO SPRINGS Take a ride up America’s Mountain, Pikes Peak, on the Pikes Peak Cog Railway, the world’s highest cog train. Throughout the three-hour long journey, couples can take in the incredible 360-degree views that range from abundant wildlife to flowing streams. cograilway.com OUTFRONTONLINE.COM
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GET OFF VIA SOCIAL MEDIA Brent Heinze | HeinzeSight
Photo: Christina Gressianu
others to create similar changes, especially if they see how modi“These dating and hookup webfying old methods can be more sites and applications never effective. If enough people jump work. I see people who can get laid on, we begin to have an impact in our community. or occasionally meet someone that seems interesting, but most of them Effective use of technology turn out to be liars or losers. I waste has the ability to connect us with so much time trying to meet up people that we may not have the with people. It’s frustrating. What opportunity to chat with otherwise. do I do to fight off feelings of just I challenge each of you who use giving up meeting people?” technology to support your social I can’t even to begin to estimate life to work on using these tools for how many conversations I’ve had what they were designed for, which with a variety of gay men who feel is to provide an initial introduction Brent Heinze that using technology to connect to someone. It is the fault of the end with others for friendship, relausers if potential relationships get tionships, or sexual grinding is an ineffective and locked away in the cyberspace void. Quit blaming unsatisfying method of engagement that rarely the tool. If someone resists breaking out of a technologyproduces any desired outcome. We can spend hours searching, clicking, woofing, flirting, disclosing, and focused conversation, then it’s up to you to put your sending pictures of our dogs, sushi dinner dates, energies into someone that is more in alignment throbbing cock shots, or winking pucker. At the end of with your interests, goals, and desires. With all the this process, we wind up feeling isolated, frustrated, people out there who complain about the games and angry, and depressed. Unfortunately, this appears to frustrations online, I’m sure you can find at least a few of those who share the same desires to log off. be the norm. Strangely, we continue to beat our heads against I believe that one individual can make a difthis cyber wall hoping this technology culture will ference. Stand up against this flagrant misuse of spontaneously change and begin working for us … potentially amazing methods of meeting people. Stop that one day, people will meet up with us, not disap- being technology’s little bitch! For god’s sake, if you pear when we make plans, and be honest about their have a good chat going with someone, make plans intentions. They will look like their pictures, be easy to meet up and do something away from the glow to carry on an interesting conversation with, and of a computer screen or your smart phone. Once remember to chomp on a breath mint before getting a connection is made, log off from all of these sites close. As we’ve (hopefully) figured out, it’s going to and applications so you can enjoy the person who take much more than wishing, hoping, thinking, is also interested in connecting in the real world. and praying. Trust me, getting off online chats as soon as possible Instead, let’s agree to start working on adjusting increases your chances of getting off in other much our own methods about how to use these tools to more enjoyable ways. connect with others. The only time things change is if we put the effort into changing them. It needs to Brent Heinze, LPC, is a licensed professional start with ourselves. When we create change in our counselor. Send him a question for his column at own lives to do things differently, it can influence PerspectiveShift@yahoo.com.
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SOME STRANGE BIRDS AND BEES
FA L L
Scott McGlothlen | Bleed Like Me
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Scott McGlothlen is a cultural columnist on life as a HIV-positive gay man. See more of Scott’s columns online at outfrontonline.com or contact him at scott@outfrontonline.com.
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ecause my father worked in the medical field, he wasn’t home a lot. Thusly, my mom often played both roles of matriarch and patriarch. While other boy scouts came to meetings with their dads, I had my mother accompany me. I actually didn’t mind this kind of thing all that much … except for the day she attempted to talk to me about puberty. I had already learned a bit about this stuff in school. Luckily they started us on sex education early, about 4th grade. But for a ten year old, the schools exercised caution and kept the information as mild as possible, so things continued to remain a bit blurry. Around sixth grade, my mother tried to fill in some blanks. “So I wanted to talk to you about something,” Mom said one day while we were driving in the car. “You might start waking up in the middle of the night with your sheets wet. And I just wanted you to know that this is perfectly normal.” I had no clue what she was talking about. And with such a weird way to start a conversation, I had to figure it out. “What, like I will start peeing in the bed?” I asked. “No, it’s not urine,” she made the correction. “It’s something else. And it will be okay.” Her attempts to tiptoe on the subject only made it more confusing. I started picturing dramatic scenes: waking up in the middle of the night drenched in pools and pools of strange fluid overflowing my bed. “Well if it happens, should I come Scott McGlothlen wake you up for help?” I asked. “No no no…” she rushed. “Do not SOMETIMES, BEING TOO come wake us up.” My awkward quesCAUTIOUS IN A SENSITIVE tion apparently made my mom highly uncomfortable. I could only imagine C O N V E R S AT I O N C A N O N LY the regret she must have suddenly had MAKE THINGS WORSE. about starting off such a subject with the topic of wet dreams. These birds and bees were getting stranger than she had intended and yet there was no turning back. “If it happens,” she said, “just take your sheets to the laundry.” I was officially horrified by this conversation. Not by the idea of my mother trying to talk to me about puberty. In fact, I still had no idea that’s what she was even talking about. More so, I was completely freaked out about the idea of having to do my own laundry … in the middle of the night. What was I — some kind of animal? I had never done laundry before. And then what would I sleep on? Other sheets? Where do I get those? And how do I put them on a bed? Clearly my problem wasn’t that of bodily changes coming around the corner — being a spoiled kid who didn’t know how to do anything for himself was the bigger issue. Looking back, I often wonder why my father hadn’t been the one to give his son “the talk.” Probably because by that age, they realized I already had a one-way ticket on a train to Homoville. Back in the car, my mom could tell I just wasn’t getting it. And rather than be upfront, she decided to quickly wrap up the conversation and change the subject. Unfortunately, I was left with more disturbing images in my brain. Ironically, I never did end up having a wet dream. But if they had been anything like the things I pictured, then they probably would have been one hell of a good time. My mom’s heart was in the right place but her unease about the subject held her back from being more frank. And sometimes, being too cautious in a sensitive conversation can only make things worse.
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K E E P I N G T H E FA I T H
In the midst of mistreatment by some churches, let’s all remember to be the voice of acceptance
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WHEN YOU’RE VISIBLE, IT MEANS OTHERS CAN’T PRETEND YOU’RE NOT THERE. Being visible, though, can make you a target. Vanessa Collier’s story is the latest in a story about queer visibility. I’m sure you’re familiar with the story of Vanessa Collier’s funeral being disrupted in Lakewood, CO — the family refused to remove pictures from her memorial video of her kissing her wife. Let me repeat that just for effect: pictures of her kissing her wife. The family had to remove the entire funeral procession, casket and all, to a nearby funeral home to continue. Imagine, in the middle of grieving for this young woman, her family and friends are forced to defend themselves and her life. My friends were close to this young woman and were devastated by their treatment at New Hope Ministries. They held a press conference to tell their story and it made national news — George Takei even posted about it! What struck me was how differently you can look at the same facts. Fact: The church asked the family to remove pictures of her kissing her wife. Robyn Vie-Carpenter An argument in favor of the family: New Hope knew she was queer when they booked the funeral. The family video wasn’t porn; it was the story of her life which included pictures of family, friends, her wife, and her children. It’s like any other memorial video! An argument from the church side: Although New Hope may have known of her sexual preferences, they shouldn’t be forced to promote it by showing those pictures in their sanctuary. That’s a sin. She can be whatever she wants outside of church as long as New Hope staffers don’t have to see it. While I wasn’t surprised, per se, I was disappointed by the story. Over the years, I’ve always been struck by how blatantly hypocritical some peoples’ behavior can be with regard to their knowledge of someone’s sexuality. Churches in particular seem to be where this behavior has been ingrained in people without a lot of pushback. Real-life examples: Everyone knows the choir director is queer — he and his friend have been living together for 20 years. The spinster school teacher that attends every Sunday? Never mind her “lady-friend” that picks her up afterward. If someone dies of AIDS, as long as you say pneumonia, you can have your funeral at the church. People accept you as long as you don’t “flaunt” your lifestyle in front of everybody. ueers of faith are some of my favorite people. Some, finding themselves in churches that didn’t accept them, found a church that did and lived very happily among their church family. Others stay in a place where everyone may not welcome them while remaining themselves, regardless of others’ opinions. Still, others find so many reasons why they attend a specific church and if all they have to do is omit one part of their lives, so be it. You choose how visible you want to be and what’s important to you. It’s your life, Sugar. If you’re queer and involved in church leadership, as I was at one time in my life, you find opportunities to fight the fight of visibility on a more regular basis. In the past, I’ve even attended protests at churches with people from my church to fight against edicts like “ ou can be queer, sure you just can’t be a practicing queer.” In other words, if you’re celibate, we don’t need to judge you and can continue to like you. What I hope will grow out of this moment in time is a re-dedication of persons of faith to reach out to show that this behavior doesn’t represent all churches. I want people to remember that being visible in all aspects of your life will create opportunities to stretch those understanding-and-acceptance muscles of people around you. I also want people to remember: If you’re pointing fingers at the people judging your community, then become part of a solution. Otherwise, you’re just perpetuating the division. Let’s be a visible beacon for change, my friends. Robyn Vie-Carpenter is a social columnist on the local and national LGBT community. See more of Robyn’s columns online at outfrontonline.com or find her on Twitter @TheLesSocialite.
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Photo: Flor Blake
Robyn Vie-Carpenter | The Lesbian Socialite
INTERVIEW
ES P N ’S LU K E VA N VA L I N Brett Davis Aspen barely has enough time to take down the rainbow flags and clean the saunas before a new breed of sexiness ascends on the city. The 21st Annual Winter X Games celebrated its 14th year in Aspen this year. With record-breaking attendance, this year’s games didn’t disappoint. While at the games, I had the pleasure of speaking with one of ESPN’s sexiest commentators, Luke Van Valin. Here’s what he had to say on marriage, skiing, and Mexican food.
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Let’s first start with what everyone wants to know: height, weight, and shoe size? I am 6’1, 190 pounds, and a 10.5 shoe Holy moly, we have a winner! How did you get into the sport? I used to be a big soccer player and I would ski occasionally on the weekends. At 15, everything changed. It became more about jumping and doing tricks [rather than just] going fast. I have a gymnastics background and I loved the thought of jumping on skis and getting paid for it.
THE NEXT EXPERIENCE
Where did you meet your gorgeous wife? I met my wife here in Aspen at Belly Up. Immediate mutual attraction, liplocking, and there it was. How does a skier propose to his girlfriend? Elevation is always important! I didn’t want her to climb a mountain because she’s not really into that, so I went to the roof of her parents’ house where she grew up. It’s like this castle in Denver. I set it up and decked it out with flowers, had a piano up there with a piano player playing “Faithfully” by Journey, and I dropped down! Omg, so romantic. So where are the top resorts in Colorado to take a date? Definitely Aspen is number one. Downtown you get the lights and snowflakes and the amazing mountain scene. Vail is also great. Ok, Aspen and Vail … but where do you take a cheap date? [laughing] If you want to take a cheap date and have some fun in Colorado, I would go to Keystone. There are still great times to be had there but it’s more the Irish pub atmosphere and cheap (but really good) Mexican food. Do you show off on a date? Absolutely laughing My favorite thing is to take a run together and find a few spots where you can show off. Then on the second run, you let them scoot ahead a little bit and then blow past them. If there’s a jump, do a flip then they know you know something they don’t, and that’s always fascinating. What’s the best gift to buy your partner who’s a skier? Goggles. Goggles are something you can have as many pairs as you want and it’s never enough. What do you do with your date if they don’t want to ski? Find the best spas in town and send them there. My wife is pregnant right now so she can’t ski. You could also send them to lunch where they serve mimosas. nce the mimosas start flowing, they’re out of your hair.
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CARS THAT CAN REALLY TURN YOU ON Jonathan McGrew
E
ven if you aren’t a car freak or geek, like yours truly, there are some wheels that just get your motor running. There’s just something about them. Maybe it’s the attention to detail around the body or the rumbling of the motor, perhaps the sensory overload on the inside. While there are many cars that can cause a guy or gal to turn their heads, sports cars seem to be the universal sex machine of the automotive world. Two recent test examples include the 2015 BMW M4 and the 2015 Jaguar F-Type R. The 2015 BMW M4 drips testosterone. It has a bulge (in the hood), ground effects, a carbon fiber roof, and the optional 19” black rims. Add the Austin Yellow Metallic paint and just looking at this car not only gets your attention, but changes your heart rate. The M4, known to fans as the M3 Coupe in 2014, is 425-hp of pure performance muscle. New for 2015 is the 3.0-liter inline six-cylinder TwinPower Turbo engine, a change from the V8 kit found in the previous generation M3 coupe. Add the adaptive suspension, double-clutch automatic transmission, and M-tuned exhaust and what you have is a rocket that takes you from 0 to 60 in 3.9 seconds while still getting a combined fuel rating from the EPA of 19-mpg. Moreover, the g-force on acceleration is enough to make you giggle or scream. The experience produces an adrenaline high; it comes from a vehicle that uses all of the safety systems to keep the rear tires in contact with the road. And yes, you realize control is a very thin perception with something this powerful. Then there is the interior, right on point for just over $86K. Silverstone leather, navigation, heads-up display, heated memory seats, and attention to detail only money can afford. Watch the gear shift though: It almost takes a rocket scientist to get it out of gear and back into park. BMW has outdone themselves with the M4 — the only issue is the day-to-day drivability. I don’t guess many looking for this kind of hot ride are going to worry about that too much. Then there’s the 2015 Jaguar F-Type R. The Jaguar is beauty and sex appeal from a different angle. If the M4 is like the wild fighter pilot, the F-Type R is the sensual and charismatic double-agent. The F-Type is not new for 2015, but it’s a newer design and body to the Jaguar family. The F-Type embodies the essence of the ’60s E-Type and is a true return to the spirit of those renowned cars. If the soft curves and aggressive stance of the exterior don’t get your brows up, under the hood rumbles a 550-hp supercharged V8 engine. With 0 to 60 in the three-second range and an 18-mpg combined rating, this cat doesn’t play around. Behind the wheel is a smooth and sensual experience. ou can find an edgier side by turning on the sports exhaust and letting the variable quad exhaust roar to life. Most remarkable, besides the two-tone Ivory and Jet interior, is the attention to detail inside and out … the type of attention that makes you not question the $102K+ price tag. With a more comfortable ride than the M4 and an easier day-to-day experience, the F-Type R can bring this experience purring into your garage. Which do you choose? As they say, “Different strokes for different folks.” 24
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2015 BMW M4
2015 Jaguar F-Type R
OUTFRONTONLINE.COM
LEGAL DIRECTORY
BE SK I SM A RT WHILE THERE HAVE BEEN SOME MAJOR IMPROVEMENTS in ski and snowboard safety over the last decade, there continue to be hundreds, if not thousands, of ski injuries per year. According to the National Ski Areas Association, skier and snowboarder fatalities were up from last season and the number of catastrophic injuries exceeded the ski industry’s ten-year average. Many ski injuries, and certainly many of the injuries we see come through our door, could have easily been avoided had the other skier heeded some simple safety tips. Surprisingly, however, many skiers and snowboarders lack awareness about basic ski safety or simply choose not to follow safety recommendations. For example, despite their proven record of reducing head injuries, a recent study showed that only 73 percent of all skiers and snowboarders across the United States wore helmets last season. Being involved in a ski accident not only poses a huge risk to your physical health, but it also has the potential to embroil you in long and costly litigation if you are at fault for the accident. The bottom line is no matter what your level of expertise, everyone has an incentive to engage in safe ski and snowboard practices. So before you hit the slopes this season, please take a moment and review the following important skier safety tips:
BACHUS & SCHANKER, LLC
Safety is everyone’s responsibility, not only for yourself but others. Know your own ability and ski within these limits. Always wear a helmet and equip yourself with proper and appropriate gear. Always stay in control and be able to stop or avoid other people or objects. People downhill of you have the right of way. It’s your responsibility to avoid them. You must not stop where you obstruct a trail or are not visible from above. Whenever starting downhill or merging into a trail, look uphill and yield to others. Always use devices to help prevent runaway equipment. Observe all posted signs and warnings. Keep off closed trails and out of closed areas. Prior to using any lift, you must have knowledge and ability to load, ride, and unload safely. If you’re unsure, ask the lift operator. Stay hydrated. If you’re going into the backcountry, bring appropriate avalanche equipment including a beacon, shovel, and avalanche probe. Enjoy and be safe out there! Involved in a ski or snowboard accident? Our friends at Bloch & Chapleau can help. Give them a call today at 303-331-1700.
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BYRON K. HAMMOND, LLC 0 - 01-1 12 www.B - aw.com 3900 E. Mexico Ave., Denver L^aah Igjhih :hiViZ EaVcc^c\ EgdWViZ :aYZg AVl WOODY LAW FIRM, LLC 0 -9 -1711 www.Woody aw C.com 1407 Larmier St., Suite 300, Denver Dissolution of Civil Unions & Marriages AZ\Va HZeVgVi^dc HZXdcY EVgZci 6Ydei^dc outfrontonline.com/legal-directory To advertise here, please call 303-477-4000.
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CA L EN DA R FEB 4 – 15
FA B U LO U S E V E N T S F O R LG B T C O LO R A D O & B E Y O N D
19 TH ANNUAL
DENVER JEWISH FILM FESTIVAL
FEB 7 THE COLORADO GAY RODEO ASSOCIATION’S
VALENTINE EXTRAVAGANZA @ CHARLIE’S, 900 E. COLFAX
Boots and chaps and cowboy hats. Colorado Gay Rodeo, we just can’t quit you — but we honestly don’t mind. With your live bachelor/bachelorette auction and the ready-to-ride singles that suit up each year, we’re already hootin’ and hollerin’ for the 2015 Valentine Extravaganza. bit.ly/cgra-valentine
“FRIENDS FROM FRANCE” @ ROBERT E. LOUP JEWISH COMMUNITY CENTER, 350 S. DAHLIA ST. DENVER Community film festivals “illuminate the human experience” through powerful stories told in cinema. This year, the Mizel Arts and Culture Center will host the 19th Annual Denver Jewish Film Festival at the Elaine Wolf Theatre at the JCC. MACCJCC.org/film
FEB 9
FEB 12
SLEATER-KINNEY
ONE COLORADO’S
LGBT LOBBY DAY
@ OGDEN THEATRE Portlandia’s Carrie Brownstein is arguably one of the coolest women alive. (Don’t argue with me!) But seriously: she’s stylish, she’s hilarious, she has killer hair, she’s beautiful, she’s into women, and she’s coming to Denver to rock our socks. What’s not to love? Sleater-Kinney.com
@ CENTRAL PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH 8AM – 12:30PM The only way we can shape the future of equality in Colorado is by making sure our elected representatives hear from us, so make sure you mark your calendar then sign up to join us. We’ll provide food and training. Hope to see you there! RSVP at One-Colorado.org
FEB 13 & 19
NEW!
CULT FOLLOWING PRESENTS
SECRETS & CONFESSIONS
TESTING TOGETHER
@ THE JONES, DENVER CENTER FOR PERFORMING ARTS Shhhhhhhhh! Share your deep, dark, embarrassing, and awkward tales in the 100% anonymous Off-Center confessional booth. This is the opportunity to get those awful secrets off your chest and let the cast unpack your baggage and go through your dirty laundry. Your stories will inspire what is sure to be a mysterious and completely confidential evening. DenverCenter.org
You already do everything together — make testing one of them. For zero cost, you can both get your HIV test — and the results — together. (Wait, free?! Free, girl.) It’s 2015. Know your status. For more info, visit denverhealth.org/testingtogether or call 303-602-3540.
Visit our new & improved online calendar @ bit.ly/ofc-calendar 26
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FEB 14
FEB 14 THE ZODIAC PARTIES:
AQUARIUS @ TRACKS 3500 WALNUT ST. Valentine’s Day happens to fall on Tracks’ Zodiac Party this month, you lucky water-bearers. (Aquarians, people! Aquarians!) So, water-bearers: Grab your single friends and head to Tracks where you’ll get three friends in for free and get doused with three free drinks! Forget about your ex with our Adios M*therfucker drink special. TracksDenver.com
FEB 14
@ BLUSH & BLU, 1526 E. COLFAX AVE . “SexCom” stands for “Sex & Comedy,” which Debbie Scheer and Out Front’s own sexologist Shanna Katz bring to Blush & Blu every month. A champagne and chocolate special and a special DJ Jody love-song set afterwards give the night a Valentine’s twist. Don’t miss it! BlushBluBar.com
FEB 18
RUFUS WAINWRIGHT & THE COLORADO SYMPHONY
ARIEL PINK
@ BOETTCHER CONCERT HALL, 7:30PM
@ BLUEBIRD THEATER Ariel Pink has come a long way in the last few years. When Haunted Graffiti hit, college radio stations had him on heavy rotation before a pissing match with Madonna made him “the most hated man in indie rock.” Is that fair? We don’t think so. It’s pretty hard to hate the guy who gave Azealia Banks her surf-rock anthem “Nude Beach A-Go Go,” after all. Ariel-Pink.com
FEB 20
VALENTINE’S SEXCOM
THE MOTH’S STORY SLAM:
LOVE HURTS
Singer, songwriter, author, composer, and screen actor (“The Aviator”) Rufus Wainwright has carved out a singular place in the worlds of rock, opera, theater, dance, and film. Described by Elton John as “the greatest songwriter on the planet,” Wainwright is one of the great male vocalists and songwriters of our generation. He brings his incomparable voice to Denver for a one-night-only performance with the Colorado Symphony. ColoradoSymphony.org
FEB 22
THE GAYEST OSCAR PARTY EVER @ HAMBURGER MARY’S 70 0 E. 17 T H AVE.
@SWALLOW HILL MUSIC, 7 1 E. YALE AVE., 7:30PM Prepare a five-minute tale about a love that made you go OUCH. The agony of deferred love! The misery of good love, gone bad! The anguish of one-way love! Bring stories of your heart, kicked to the curb by the people or places or things you love...or used to love. Love that “Hurts So Good” also welcome. SwallowHillMusic.org
Beckons the gang at Mary’s: “Ring in the most important day of the year with OffCenter and Hamburger Mary’s. The fête will include a grand entrance down the rainbow carpet, divine drinks, titillating appetizers, runway-worthy gowns, and some of Denver’s favorite queens. Of course, the awards presentation will be streaming live, and we will rudely shush anyone who speaks over the host or speeches.” DenverCenter.org OUTFRONTONLINE.COM
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A M E R ICATUS, THE BEAUTIF UL Noah L. Jordan IN THE TWILIGHT, I find myself walking down Larimer toward a place that makes me feel as though I am coming home. A string of twinkling lights beckons me as I crunch and shiver my way down the icy sidewalk toward the door which, when opened, leads to a place where a state of culinary grace awaits. For the doorway, I survey the space. I am relieved to see that although simplicity rules, there’s still a level of sophistication inside; two community tables line the center of the dining room and if those tables could speak, they would tell of rich conversations and unexpected bonds formed between unsuspecting guests. Greeted by none other than the owner himself, Iain Chisholm, I feel like an old friend who has been away and one whose return has been patiently awaited. That is only part of the beauty at Americatus New-World Italian. Taking a seat at an intimate table along the wall
with my guest, I quickly find the other part of the magic. A menu so seemingly small and simple, but so uniquely complex that diners don’t feel threatened or intimidated when ordering. You can munch your way through a combination of meats and cheeses, order a multitude of small plates and bites to share, or you can be selfish and opt for a single and solitary entrĂŠe item. I choose a combination of all but the latter to start my meal, and get blown away by a parade of ingredients ingeniously conceived, masterfully executed, and artfully plated. By the end of round one, I am both completely full and also impatiently awaiting my next course. What comes next blows my mind in its simplicity and depth of flavor. Described on the menu as “Sausageâ€? is a pasta dish with perfectly-cooked, house-made egg noodles, house-made sweet Italian sausage, red sauce, and pecorino, served alongside my second glass of Malbec — the dish is simply off the chart, and that’s not just the wine speaking. At this point in the meal, I have stopped trying
WINE &
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to analyze the food and what makes this place so remarkable, and just submit. The dessert course follows: a bread pudding made of daily housemade doughnuts and topped with a crème anglaise, and instead of scrutini ing the flavors in my mouth I just enjoy every bite. And just like that, the plate is empty and the party in my mouth is over. But I don’t want it to end. I don’t want to leave. I want to start the meal from the top, perform a rousing encore, and just sit back while savoring every bite. But alas, I cannot. I leave my table with a final look back, and exit the restaurant when the meal is truly over. The twinkling lights fade as I walk back down Larimer, snow continues to crunch under my feet, and a warm sensation settles in my stomach. I smile knowing I can always come home to Americatus, and it will always be waiting for me. Americatus New-World Italian is located at 2449 Larimer Street. Dinner reservations recommended: (303) 862-9850.
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MARQUEE
BEST OF 2014: OSCAR FAVORITES
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“Looking� star talks sex scenes, his ‘well-received’ tush, and taking his mom to Folsom Street Fair Chris Azzopardi
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espite roles in the BBC supernatural drama “Being Human� and “The History Boys,� both on stage and screen, it’s the HBO dramedy “Looking� that’s presented Russell Tovey with considerable exposure. Premiering in early 2014, the show centers on a group of gay friends in San Francisco as they navigate relationships, family, and sleeping with your boss. When Kevin (Tovey) and Patrick (Jonathan roff) finally got down to business during a steamy lay at the end of the first season, the hunky Londoner revealed more than his acting chops. As “Looking� returns to the network, the 33-year-old opened up on a variety of topics. Check it out. The Season 1 finale set the stage for a whole lot of drama. What does that mean for this upcoming season? Season 2’s gonna pick up three months on with the
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fallout from that experience with Patrick, Kevin, and Richie (Patrick’s boyfriend played by RaĂşl Castillo). They go away on a big adventure and it all unravels. What it means is there’s gonna be tension, and what unfolds is going to be very good television. And I love it. I love seeing #TeamKevin or #TeamRichie. People are really loyal to [them]. They’re like, “Sorry — I really like you, Russell, but I’m #TeamRichieâ€? or “Kevin’s a cheat!â€? or “Leave Patrick alone!â€? What’s your hope for Kevin and this love triangle he’s gotten himself into? I want evin to be happy, but I want him to find his way to happiness with a lot of drama that’s gonna be entertaining for an audience watching an HBO show. (Laughs) But he has to fuck things up, and I think that’s part of his personality. The more Patrick gets to know him, that’s gonna unravel. CONTINUED ON PAGE 32
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Russell Tovey and costar Jonathan Gross in a scene from “Looking” “RUSSELL TOVEY” CONTINUED FROM PAGE 30 Team Kevin or Team Richie? (Laughs) If I could have a threeway, it’d be quite nice. You know, a bit of both. But in reality, you’d want a boyfriend like Richie because he could cut your hair, and that’s great — you don’t have to worry about that expenditure every month. He’d do that for free! And he can play guitar, so he can entertain you. Or, of course, there’s Kevin, who appears to be — at least from the Season 1 finale — experienced in bed. Oh yeah. He’s very good. A lot of me went into that. (Laughs) Does the dynamic of a sex scene change knowing both you and Jonathan are gay? It makes it so much more relaxed. I’ve had sex scenes with girls, and I feel very relaxed because I’m not worried about anything popping up; I’m just worried about her world and making sure she’s comfortable. When I’ve done stuff with Joe Williamson (Tovey’s boyfriend on “Looking”) — and we’re hugging and kissing and whatever, and he goes for it — I feel a slight responsibility to make sure that he doesn’t feel I’m taking advantage of the fact that this has been written. I don’t want him to feel uncomfortable, so I feel a responsibility to him in a different way than I do to girls. With Jonathan, doing these sex scenes just feels so cool. We’re such good mates now, and we laugh and love doing our scenes together. You can do anything; your hands go everywhere, and it’s fine. Neither of us at any point feels uncomfortable, and that’s why it’s so good. We just completely trust each other, and we go for it. Neither of us hold back or feel any pang of responsibility for the other when it comes to that. We just trust each other on a completely open level. Either of us could go to the other, “Hey, you should put your dick in there.” (Laughs) 32
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Are you saying that you and Jonathan basically direct your own sex scenes on the show? (Laughs) No, no, I’m not! [Writer-director] Andrew Haigh is very much involved. [Creator] Michael Lannan is very much involved. When we have sex scenes we have (guys) onboard the whole time to make sure it’s all good. But yeah, I think Jonathan and I are method [actors]; we know what we’re doing. (Laughs) Will you have more sex scenes with Jonathan in Season 2? God — is it a spoiler if I say yes? How do you feel about all the attention your ass has gotten on social media? In the future, I imagine myself looking back and going, “God, I had a nice ass. Glad I got that out.” If it’s there now, I’m getting it out because it’s not always gonna look like that. I don’t want to hide it, and it’s nice that people like it. I’ve been very lucky. I’ve grown it myself. What kind of influence do you see this show having? It’s such a true voice for gay people. Everyone all around the world is able to see their own friends in all these characters. In the gay community, everyone wants stories. Every show that comes out is another kind of stamp in the world to say, “This is happening. This is here.” This is another show that proves how normal this is. This show is where we are now, in a place where it feels we’ve moved on so far that we’re able to make a show like this. Here we are, not bad people who are having coming out problems, where not everyone is dying of AIDS. This is, right now, what it’s like to be a gay man who can get married and adopt. Suddenly, you can sign up to the heterosexual blueprint. Growing you, did you have a “true voice” in entertainment? No ...
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So what finally inspired you to come out? I had really close family friends. One of my best mates now, our dads went to school together, and we came out to each other when we were like 14, 15. He was very out and proud, and going out to all the gay clubs. I was scared to do it, but I went out with him. I realized there are other people like me out there, and I was like, “Cool, this is all right.” But there wasn’t anybody in the public eye that made me go, “Oh, thank you.” There were no Tom Daleys, no big coming out stories inspiring me to come out. I do remember seeing the film “Beautiful Thing” as a kid and my mom coming up the stairs to go to bed and me turning it off and going “Night!” I waited till she went to bed to put it back on, and I remember being awe-struck at this film, and crying like, “ h my god, that’s me.” “Beautiful Thing” was actually a huge part of my coming out experience. You had a birthday recently. Whose idea was it to make you a cake that said, “Birthdays are like rim jobs … open up and get ready for another great year!”? (Laughs) Someone in production. Ahh, as the season goes on you’ll see where that comes from. Was it required of you to show off your assets during auditions? No, no. I was actually originally up for Patrick and I didn’t get it. They were like, “If [the show] gets picked up, we wanna write you a part.” I was like, “Cool, but I’m not holding my breath,” because you hear that a lot. Then they wanted me to go out for this part of Kevin, and I was like, “OK.” I did the (audition) in an American accent, but at the end, as I was leaving the room, I did it in English because I knew they’d ask for it in English. They came back and said, “We loved the English! The Brit, the Brit!” So yeah, I didn’t have to show my genitals; it was merely my acting talent. (Laughs)
C A B A R E T AT T H E C R O W N
The January edition of Cabaret at the Crown was held at the Black Crown Lounge on January 17 and was a reel experience! This month’s theme was “Music at the Movies” in honor of the upcoming Academy Awards. The monthly event, hosted by Patrice Leblanc, features the musical stylings of Lori Leah Monet and Michael Nicosia. The Cabaret is held at the Black Crown Lounge on the third Saturday of every month. Photos by Charles Broshous
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CZECH HIM OUT: GAY MATCHMAKING IN THE MILE HIGH CITY Chris Arneson ou can’t find anyone worthwhile on rindr within a few thousand feet, and you’ve maxed out your swipes on Tinder. Is it time to look a little farther? Tatyana Svirsky, a sort of international date facilitator locali ed in Denver, thinks you should check out C ech men. Tatyana, originally from Eastern kraine, is very familiar with that part of the world. Following the recent D MA repeal, her franchise business, Most Beautiful People of Denver, has begun to include gay connections. (Think of it as less mailorder husbandry, more foreign Cupid.) The business is a part of and-In- and, a ondonbased matchmaking company. According to a January 2011 issue of Bloomberg Businessweek, and-In- and expanded into gay business in late 2009. This is the only matchmaking company that has locally based franchises, Tatyana said. owever, other markets across the .S. have yet to expand to the gay market, fearing it may hurt their success in traditional business. “In Denver, we have the best educated, openminded gay community,” Tatyana explains. “This is good for the business.” The service is fairly simple, starting with a free profile match at Gay-Man-Introductions. com. ou provide your name and email address,
and from there you build a detailed profile, including your personality traits along with what you’d prefer in a partner. Then you’re provided with matches, automatically generated for you by a computer. Before you’re connected, you must mutually match with other men. If you’re interested in going further, that’s where Tatyana comes in. Membership packages include options from 1 dates. The catch is that you have to vacation to Prague, at your expense. There is also no email exchange permitted before meeting your suitors. Tatyana said it’s very easy to connect with men in the C ech Republic because many of them speak English and are well-educated and not to mention attractive. Introduction services start at around 1, 00
(listed on the website in British pounds), which sets you up on a minimum of five dates. For this many dates, you must visit Prague for at least four days. While you provide your own accommodations, the company will assist in recommendations if needed. “Prague is safe, beautiful, and modern,” she says. “It’s a hidden gem.” Economically, however, it is still developing, so many of its citi ens are very motivated to come to the nited States. “They’re motivated, but they’re not desperate,” she explains. The C ech Republic has some of the lowest instances of I AIDS in Central Europe, according to Tatyana. etting to America is no problem for C ech citi ens either, which is part of the company’s sales pitch visas are easy to acquire. Many other companies in the mail-order business operate out of countries like Russia and the kraine, where getting a visa can be difficult. If the visit to Prague is successful and you plan to eventually marry, a green card can be acquired based on the proposal, Tatyana says. While the green card is being processed, a white card will authori e them to work. Tatyana has yet to make any gay connections in Denver, but she hopes the idea of international gay dating will catch on in the Mile igh City.
F I V E F @ ! K I N G F I L M S T H AT A R E D E F I N I T E LY N S F W Nico Stoerner I N T E R I O R . L E AT H E R B A R . While the charming James Franco continues to play with sexual innuendo in his more mainstream films, this documentary doesn’t beat around the bush. Inspired by the gay S M footage that was cut from the 19 0 film Cruising, directors Franco and Travis Mathews collaborate to re-create the footage and explore the unfettered culture of the gay leather community. Juxtaposing candid interviews about the filmmaking process with uninhibited and unsimulated gay sex, this steamy cock-umentary explores sexuality and art simultaneously. STRANGER BY THE LAKE Rather than serving up a murder mystery, Alain uiraudie’s Stranger by the Lake offers audiences the murder upfront and in plain sight by the killer Michel (Christophe Paou). The remainder of the film, however, is rooted in the mysterious realm of witness-come-mistress Franck’s (Pierre Deladonchamps) attraction and acceptance of his sociopathic paramour. Sexy, strange, and deliberate, this film is an interesting critique of human nature and social interaction. V E LV E T G O L D M I N E Set in the 70s during the rise of glam-rock, this film tells the story of the rise, fall, and resurrection of Brian Slade (played by Jonathan Rhys-Meyers). Slade’s stardom ends abruptly after faking his own murder on stage, after which he dropped
Interior. Leather Bar.
Velvet Goldmine off the public’s radar. Following the investigation of a British journalist (played by Christian Bale) as he searches for his childhood hero, this film challenges viewers to consider the real plight of superstars and comes complete with a sex scene between Ewan Mc regor and Christian Bale. B O Y C U LT U R E Fast paced and packed with killer one-liners, Boy Culture follows the life of male prostitute (Derek Magyar) who’s uninterested in sex unless he’s getting paid. ver the course of the film he learns about life, love, and acceptance from regory one of his best customers played by Patrick Bauchau who regularly hires him for companionship, but refuses to have sex until they share a mutual attraction. An interesting commentary on
Stranger By the Lake
relationships in the age of rindr, this film offers an entertaining story of self-discovery punctuated by sexy scenes. FOCUS/REFOCUS Raging Stallion Studios’ ambitious (although heavily edited for retail) thriller is definitely NSFW and it’s on Netflix. Joe (Cole Streets) is a twenty-something sex addict with a penchant for penis and an inability to restrain himself that finds himself in a “sticky situation,” (c’mon, you know you were thinking it). A killer is on the loose in San Francisco and men continue to turn up dead. Joe’s sexual encounters continue to reveal more about the killer as he finds himself on a sexual adventure that he’ll be lucky to survive. Think of this as soft-core porn meets film noir.
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HOW DO LESBIANS HAVE SEX? Erin Sharpe When I was younger, the question (“How do lesbians have sex?”) used to get under my skin. What they really mean to ask is Without at least one penis, how is sex between two people even possible? Because think about it No one asks, “ ow do gay men have sex?” It’s just this foregone conclusion that a penis enters something and boom sex. (And for the record, not all gay men are into penetration, but that’s another piece for another day.) It wasn’t a valid question to the rebel in me. My typical response usually took a stab at the unimaginative sexual nature of the dubiously curious offender (“If you have to ask, you probably suck in bed”), but in later years, I opted for the much simpler “We make each other cum over and over until we can barely form words, eek out a few more, then pass out.” But that’s hardly an answer, is it? What people want are details and as far as I know, we don’t really talk about what gay chicks get up to when they get down. (That’s probably why people keep asking, come to think.) So for answers, the curious turn to lesbian porn which I don’t need to tell you is hardly ever good or even made for lesbians in the first place. (In other words, completely fake and boring for most people, but especially for lesbians.) What’s more, they produce the goofiest of material like the smash hit, “Strap-ons Every Time,” the feel-good powerhouse, “ ong, ot Pink Press- ns,” and the cult classic, “Dykes Be Scissoring, Shawdy.” But it’s a valid question to some. ow do those penisless lesbians have sex? Sure, lesbians use their hands, faces, and sex toys but that’s just third base to the rest of the world, so the question is, “ ow do lesbians get beyond third base?” Now we’re onto something. ay guys can penetrate their partners with natural, feeling parts and so can straight men but what about lesbians? The notion is certainly not new to a woman who’s spent her entire sex life enjoying other women, and frankly, it’s fun to keep the mystery alive. The truth is, however, that women are equipped with just as many feel-good bits and thingamajigs that men are (see anus and genitals) but with the added bonus of majorly sensitive tits and brace yourselves the only organ in the human anatomy that exists solely for sexual pleasure (google it). If you’re a good lover regardless of preference you can see instantly how that adds up to a mesmerising entanglement of nerves and more than a few ways to get off. ver and over. (And over.) I think that’s why, when sympathy for the “limited” nature of lesbian sex presents itself in conversation, most of us say nothing as dirty sexy images of what good lovers are capable of flash behind our eyes. But showboating is so gauche, you’ll agree. So how do lesbians have sex? If they’re smart well and often.
A TALE O F TWO T RUT H S STRAP-ONS They’re mostly a hassle and —truth be told — kind of ridiculous. Think of them as the china you break out for company. (Actually, don’t. That’s a terrible analogy.) I suppose the male equivalent would be anal beads: they’re novel and all, and while they’re not exactly unpleasant, they’re not really necessary and show up mostly in swingers’ houses and in fetish porn. Strap-ons are fun here and there, but really … we got this on our own.
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SCISSORING When gay dudes ask about scissoring, it’s common courtesy to ask if they scissor their penises. Or perhaps if they scissor asses. Truthfully, smashing gennies works brilliantly for the male/female dynamic; not so great for the rest of us. That’s not to say certain women don’t do scissor — I’ve just never met any lesbians who find this appealing.
THREESOMES, FOURSOMES, AND MORESOMES Kari Sutton SURE, IT CAN BE PLENTY FUN TO ROLL AROUND IN THE BED AT HOME. But sometimes you want a little something extra. ou want to be around others who are comfortable with themselves and their sexuality, and comfortable playing for an audience. ou want the rush and exhilaration of being in a space where raw, sexual energy shoots through the air. If that speaks to you, swinging might be up your alley. If you want to get right on out there and start meeting folks, pay a visit to Mon Chalet. (monchalet.com) The venue bills itself as an adult resort, and the rooms come well-equipped with a range of furniture to get your sexy times on. So where does the swinging part come in? Check out the
clothing-optional pool area. ou can also pick up a swimming pass if you just want to check things out without committing to getting a room for the night. It’s worth noting that most public events for swingers, both locally and in other cities, have tiered pricing. Women attending alone or with other women will pay next to nothing. Pricing for heterosexual couples is moderate, and men attending without a female companion face much steeper pricing. That is to say, much of the swing scene works from a pretty heteronormative mindset. This playground is primarily set up for straight couples and bisexual women. But of course, there are always house parties. That’s where local swinger going by the name of Artis got her start. She describes her first
experience “I remember I was invited to a house swinger party by a friend of mine at the time I was watching one man play with a woman and then a few minutes later that guy was playing with a guy. I couldn’t stop staring. I was fascinated at how both comfortable and turned on I was. Eventually, my friend went down on me right in the middle of it all, and not only could I not believe that I was able to climax, but the orgasm was new and more intense than ever before. I would later discover my joy of exhibitionism.” If you don’t already have swinger friends who can get you in the door, check out asidie.com. It’s a social networking site geared toward swingers. ou can meet folks in the area, and get a feel for what events are happening in the area. And from there? Dive in as deep as you want to.
KINK & FETISHES Shanna Katz With 50 Shades of Grey (the movie), coming down the pipeline, many people are beginning to wonder more about kink and BDSM. eck, my mother-in-law even asked me whether I had read the book. From college students to soccer parents, professors to mechanics, kink and fetishes are on everyone’s lips. What do folks even mean when they say kink, BDSM, and fetishes? The textbook definition of a fetish (from a mental health perspective) is something someone needs in order to be aroused shoes, feet, latex, etc. owever, socially we tend to use the term to refer to things that are really arousing, but aren’t usually required for arousal. People who really enjoy being spanked, wearing and or being with someone wearing nylons, role playing with medical equipment and doctors nurses outfits, etc., all might identify as having a “fetish” without it being a mental health diagnosis. BDSM stands for bondage and discipline (tying someone up getting tied up and punishment), domination and submission (consensual power exchanges), and sado-masochism (consensual giving or receiving of pain). ink is an umbrella that includes all of these things, plus other things like puppy play kitty play pony play (humans who like to role play as animals), littles (adult humans who like to role play as people younger than themselves), Masters and Mistresses, slaves, human furniture, the list goes on. Many people participate in kinky activities at home. ink is in the eye of the beholder. For some folks, kinky means getting it on while the lights are on, while for others, it might mean setting us an entire dedicated dungeon in their home. R E M E M B E R : S E X U A L P L AY O F Anywhere on the spectrum can be kinky it isn’t some ANY KIND IS SUPPOSED TO kind of pissing contest (unless, of course, you want it to B E FUN, AND WHEN IT ISN’T be). If you want some well-written kink books to really ANYMORE, IT’S TIME TO TRY get your teeth into, check out the Keyhole Series by local authors asi and Reggie Alexander, or the Marketplace S O M E T H I N G D I F F E R E N T. Series by aura Antoniou. ooking for something more instructional? Playing Well with Others by Mollena Williams and ee arrington is a good educational book on both kink and swinging, while Jay Wiseman’s SM 101 is an old-school guidebook on how to play kinkily in a safer way. While lots of people are kinky in the privacy of their own home, others set of play parties at night. prefer to fly their fabulous freak-flag high, and like to play in public. Important things to remember before you suit up in leather, lace, latex, Denver’s only public dungeon is the Denver Sanctuary, which offers or even a well-cut suit (hey, it could be someone’s fetish). First of all, if it’s play parties (including monthly, newbie-friendly parties), while the RACK kinky, it must be consensual. If it is not consensual, it’s sexual assault not Room/Pavlovia Denver is a private space that offers kink classes lessons kink. It’s important to do any type of play with “safewords,” even if it is and community events. ou can find both of them on FetLife.com, which just a headmistress spanking a naughty schoolgirl, or if you’re just tying is the Facebook of the kink community. Make a profile (with or without a up your boy toy. This is a word (like “red”) that means stop even when you picture), meet local and international folks, learn about local events, and want to be able to say “stop” or “no” as part of the play. Communication explore some of your questions about the kink and fetish communities. is crucial make sure both of you (or all of you) share what turns you on If you really get into playing in public, Thunder in the Mountains is an (and what doesn’t), and check in again afterward to assess how it went. annual kink event that takes place in July, bringing in presenters from Remember Sexual play of any kind is supposed to be fun, and when it isn’t around the country to teach workshops, and hosting an absolutely epic anymore, it’s time to try something different. OUTFRONTONLINE.COM
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Misadventures at Midtowne Spa Noah Jordan It was a Thursday evening in early September when it happened. A friend and I were one, maybe two bottles of malbec in the hole, and he just so happened to live right above a bathhouse. We’d never actually been inside a bathhouse, but for months we would watch out his window as varying types of men entered through a nondescript door on the corner of the block. oung. ld. Skinny. Fat. ou name it and we saw it. They would enter, vanish, and reemerge from the nondescript door it became a fascination for us. n this particular night we found ourselves a little extra curious, and living on the edge. iquid courage down the hatch and a crisp 20 bill in hand, two doe-eyed twentysomethings entered the infamous nondescript door hell bent on discovering the truth behind it. Full of confidence and clearly on a mission, we opened it to reveal a slender counter and another door? Not what we expected, but maybe that was a good thing. We flashed our IDs and paid the 7 locker fee (no, we didn’t spring for our own room), and the second door bu ed, giving us complete access to what the gentleman at the counter referred to as the “spa.” We quickly reali ed we weren’t in ansas anymore. We found our locker (which was easy) and, like two timid high schoolers, we donned our tiny white towels and headed further into the unknown. What were the rules? Would we run into people we knew? ow far were we willing to go? And most importantly, why were there coffee and snacks sitting out all nonchalantly on a table? (Did people really eat here? ) The club, excuse me the spa was pretty crowded that night. We passed a group of older gentlemen lounging in their very own tiny white towels watching porn and slowly stroking themselves, completely unfa ed and seemingly unaware of each other’s presence. Weird, but okay. We continued through the ma e and reali ed that, once inside, every doorway would most likely lead to other men in varying states of undress, doing a wide variety of things to either themselves or a willing participant. We also noticed that no matter who you were, you could easily get lucky if you prowled long enough or stuck your peter through a nearby gloryhole. Thoroughly lost, we parked ourselves in a steamy, cubism-inspired room with a few older gentlemen (most of the men were older, actually) who seemed chill. We sat for a while in silence just processing, feeling
their eyes on our skin when suddenly, like a silent Batman signal in the sky, people began to migrate. ike a flock of geese, people moved from their comfortable positions around the spa and filtered into another room so we followed. We shouldn’t have followed. Blithely unaware of what was happening, we were seated in a relatively small room with a large mass of men and a single stage. A light came on, a man stepped on stage, and immediately we knew what was about to happen. This man was about to jerk-off for our entertainment and enjoyment. Please answer me this ow does one politely exit a room during a performance when you are inconveniently seated smack in the middle of things? The answer is you don’t. And you can’t unsee some things. When the show was over, we surmised that we’d met our due diligence, so there was no need to stick around for finger foods and polite chitchat. The only questions that remained were where was our locker, again? and more importantly where was the exit? In our blind and reckless exploration, we’d failed to leave a trail of cookie crumbs and had no earthly idea where we were inside the spa. uick, like a bunny, we moved from hallway
to hallway. Whoops, that room seems occupied by three dudes and a swing. Nope, the dude on all fours in that room clearly doesn’t have an exit sign above him. Door after door and hallway after hallway we searched for our locker, and when we finally found it without words, we looked at each other and immediately felt at peace again. We were so close and could see the nondescript door that lead back to civili ation. We took the stairs two at a time until we were back in the confines of my friend’s apartment without so much as a word. For a minute, we just sat on the couch until finally we burst into laughter. Did that really just happen? h, it did. But as we sat there giggling like school girls about every detail and weird-looking penis we saw, I reali ed something bathhouses aren’t that bad. No one was pushy, we weren’t forced to do anything we didn’t want to do, and for the most part we were largely left to our own devices. And while I don’t think I will ever do it again (you can say what you want about it), I also reali ed that the experience will translate very differently for every individual, but you can actually have quite a bit of fun if you’re the type of person who enjoys that type of thing. ot damn.
WHAT’S THE MOST EMBARRASSING THING THAT’S EVER HAPPENED TO YOU DURING SEX? I have a thing for Middle Eastern guys, so it goes without saying that I barely get any of that kind of action here in Denver. So the Turkish delight I’ve been stalking on Tinder shows up at Tracks, and long story short we end up at my place. We make out in the kitchen and I’m so drunk, I’m like, “I hope you got all night; I’m not letting you leave anytime soon.” We get to the bedroom, and I throw him onto my bed, suit up, and go for it. Three strokes later, I cum. He was like, “Really!? You’re serious?!” I offered to make him a frozen pizza, but he left. Call me? – James. I’m talkative in bed, which is normally fine. This time, however, I was a little more nervous than usual … and I merged the word ‘baby’ with the word ‘mama’ — like hot mama, which is really corny, I know — and I said, ‘Yes! F*ck me, Mommy!’ So yeah. That killed it. – Anna. 40
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Don’t judge me, ok? I was really groggy after a long night of drinking and partying with a girl I’d been seeing for a few weeks. We get to her place, she starts going down on me, and I get so relaxed, I fall asleep. I totally woke myself up farting in her face. – Deb. I was spooning with my first boyfriend at his parents’ house on the couch under a blanket and, of course, we get frisky and he slips it in. His mom comes home — she loved us as a couple — and goes, “Cuddle time!” and lays on top of us, rocking back and forth in a huge hug for at least ten seconds. He was still inside me. – Aaron.
JUST A LITTLE T.L.C. (TENDER LOVIN’ COMPANIONSHIP) O’Brian Gunn
I W A N T Y O U , B U T N O T I N T H AT W AY While many of us want someone to hold and be held by, not all of us are willing to wait for that special someone and not all of us are willing to be in a relationship to reap the benefits that come with it. Individuals with a busy life or business to run may not have the time and or energy it takes to invest in a relationship. Instead of building a home you know you’ll never live in, why not rent a room in the ouse of ove? No one has to know that beautiful man or woman you’re with who keeps you laughing, smiling, and mentally engaged isn’t your significant other. Imagine how many times you might’ve crossed paths with a sugar baby and his her sugar daddy or mama and not even reali ed it. So what’s the distinction between everyday entertainment and adult entertainment?
IT’S NO LONGER AS TABOO AS IT ONCE WAS TO DISCUSS AND ENGAGE IN YOUR FETISHES, confess you have a friend with benefits, look for love online, or admit you enjoy the occasional night at the strip club. With the scales falling from our eyes and the shackles from our limbs when it comes to our more primal urges, why are we sometimes so hesitant to admit we’re lonely and would love to just have someone hold us, engage in conversation with, take to dinner, or just sit with and watch a movie? SW E E T LOV E They were usually referred to as geishas or courtesans in the past, but now they’re better known as “sugar babies.” Men and women who are looking to earn some extra money for college or to meet their financial obligations are willing to be paired up with a sugar daddy or mama with a hefty disposable income who desires companionship without any strings (other than purse strings) attached. While sites such as SeekingArrangement.com go to great lengths to explain what sugar babies do isn’t prostitution, such arrangements aren’t unlikely. Besides taking care of finances and earning extra income, an individual might desire to become a sugar baby simply to experience life among the wealthy and powerful. ow many of us get the chance to experience true luxury without worrying about going over budget, incurring overdraft fees, or having financial regrets? Instead of planning and conning your way into the hearts and pockets of a wealthy men or women, you can simply sign up on a companionship site where both parties are crystal clear on the arrangement from the very beginning.
D O Y O U H AV E PA P E R S F O R T H AT ? If someone were to pay you to sit with their elderly mother or father and keep them company, it’s perfectly legal, and the same is true of companionship. Where the legal line starts to blur is when the discussion of companionship slips towards what sexual acts the individual is willing to perform. In Colorado, it’s a crime to sell or buy sex, but in most states the distinction between paying for sex and paying for physical contact, such as a massage, is the purpose or intention of touching. Whenever paid hands and other body parts start to slip towards common erogenous ones, the companion has become a prostitute. If you find yourself in the mood for a little mental, social, or emotional stimulation and entertainment this alentine’s Day or any other time of the year, know there’s the perfect companion waiting for you for a fee. After all, nothing good comes for free.
SLEEPING WITH STRAIGHT PEOPLE Shanna Katz EARNING A TOASTER. POPPING A CHERRY. For some folks in the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and queer community, there is just a certain something about sleeping with folks who actively identify with being straight. Is it for bragging rights? An adventure? Are they more of a challenge or more low-hanging fruit? K used to have sex with a straight neighborhood boy. The two weren’t particularly good friends, but were able to explore their sexualities together in a relatively safe and validating way. They still have some interactions on a yearly basis. “Part of the desire is because we were friends as kids. Part of the continuing desire is the fact that it feels somewhat naughty, and the fact that I know it provides him a great deal of pleasure that he doesn’t feel comfortable pursuing with anyone else.” For K, it brings back memories, as well as feels validating. For Farah, sleeping with straight women results in a more carefree time with less emotional strings attached. “I’ve never come from a situation with a straight woman, but I enjoy the experience overall. It’s easy and doesn’t really have to be complicated. I think that when I sleep with lesbians, there’s always an element of emotionality where I’m not really sure how to just have fun without all of the emotional pressure or commitment.” As someone who frequently is not read as a lesbian, she feels like she’s a safe bet for straight women to hit on, but wishes that the Denver community would
be more open to those who don’t fit the stereotype of what a lesbian “looks like.” Renee’s experience seems to be less pleasant, as she says she tends to end up sleeping with straight women through misrepresentation. Many of her partners used her as a way to experiment with their bisexuality sexuality in general before reali ing that they were in fact straight. This particularly seems to happen in the kink community where women are interested in exploring with a dominant woman. n the other hand, Leah has had the experience of sleeping with several women who identified as straight at the time, but “were lesbians who just didn’t know it yet.” er experiences with them allowed them to come into their authentic identity in a way they might not have without having had the opportunity to sleeping with a woman. In Stefin’s experience, “There are usually three categories in which a gay man has experienced the straight man in bed a drunken encounter, a man who is sneaking around on the down low, or the encounter in which you just happened to be the one guy that did it for him.” is experience has been with the latter, where he secretly dated
a straight-identified guy for a year, and his identity as straight was the reason they eventually broke up, breaking Stefin’s heart. According to Stefin, the reason straight guys like hooking up with gay men is for the highquality blow jobs and the more socially-acceptable backdoor action. From a more personal perspective, I have to say that as a younger dyke, there was quite the confidence boost in sleeping with straight and newly-out women they hadn’t had the experience before, so pretty much anything and everything I did seemed shiny and new. I was told I was ama ing, life changing, earth shattering, the whole nine yards. And the best part was that I wasn’t actively looking for a relationship, and they weren’t either. I got to feel like some brilliant sex goddess, they got to try out something new and different. We put all of our cards on the table in the beginning really, it was just dandy. owever, my experience certainly doesn’t mirror the experience of everyone. All in all, everyone has different reasons for sleep with straight folks. Regardless of why, as long as everyone is open and communicative, you should do whoever floats your boat.
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CUPID AIN’T STUPID:
V A L E N T I N E ’ S G I F T S T H AT ’ L L G E T C H A S O M E Mikey Rox Christmas hasn’t been gone for long, but there’s another gift-buying season right around the corner. The best thing about alentine’s Day, however, is that it really is the thought that counts. (People lie about that at holiday time, ya know.) To help you pick the perfect gift for your sweetie this alentine’s Day, here’s our list of fun and frisky ideas that they’ll love to unwrap.
360 Mini Massager Instead of outsourcing your lover’s spa-quality shiatsu session, get hands-on at home this year with Moji’s 0 Mini Massager, the perfect palm-si ed device to help put a little passion back in the bedroom. Equipped with seven rotating steel spheres to help ease the tension out of the toughest spots, this flexible massager features an adjustable clasp for a contoured fit so the two of you can take turns getting knotty er, naughty all night. '.#.* <dBd_^#Xdb
Whiskey Explorers Club Does your honey have an affinity for high-end hooch? Send your message of love by the bottle with the Whiskey Explorers Club, a one-time or quarterly gift set that packs a powerful punch. Each For Whiskey overs shipment contains four 0m flights of premium whiskey labeled with a generic code. To find out what brand of whiskey they’re tasting, your too-cute connoisseur can turn the experience into an interactive game where they’ll provide tasting notes and ratings while enjoying a rousing edition of My Whiskey I . ,* ;dgL]^h`ZnAdkZgh#Xdb 42
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Kiss Pillows and Paintings Contemporary artist lesya Robison gives puckery pouts the glam-rock treatment in her iss collection, featuring oil-on-canvas conversation starters and in-your-face throw pillows with just the right amount of pop. The former officially titled “Candy Crush iss” features 2 k gold flakes imported from France and genuine Swiss Swarovski crystals, while the latter gives your urban space a splash of champagne wishes and caviar dreams via one sultry smooch. +*" &!%%% DanGdW^hdc#Xdb
Brickell Men’s Products ive your sweetie the gift of smooth, caressable skin all over his beautiful body with the full line of natural grooming products from Brickell. For -Day, pick up the giftable-from-the-getgo Men’s Starter it, which includes travel-si e favorites including scented or unscented facewash, shave cream, aftershave, moisturi er, hand balm, and bar soap. )* 7g^X`ZaaBZchEgdYjXih#Xdb
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Heart Swatch et your sweetie know that your love will stand the test of time with nlock My eart, the newest addition to the expansive heart-themed collection from Swatch. A portable lock of love and presented in a special box to make sure your romance never misses a beat, this latest addition is inspired by the love padlocks representing happy relationships that notably adorn bridges throughout Europe. ,% HlViX]#Xdb
The Gay Gospel Twenty-something singles don’t have to spend another lonely alentine’s Day down in the dumps when they can curl up with a confidence-boosting book. Author Justin uke irilli’s The ay ospel levels the playing field for today’s young gay men with his no-nonsense but oft-hysterical advice on everything from sex and dating to family and finances. Couples, too, can enjoy this quick guide to love, relationships, and everything in between that Broadway star Billy Porter calls “deftly concise, incredibly lean, yet ama ingly practical.” +#.* ?jhi^cAj`ZCN8#Xdb
9 SIGNS “BAE” M I G H T B E C H E AT I N G Berlin Sylvestre & Staff Cynics
W Nip+Man If your bae is focused on staying buff (lucky you ), Nip Man male grooming products will help him stay studly and cuddly while enhancing that bangin’ bod. More than just a skincare line for men, this range of products billed as incorporating a “number of plastic surgery alternatives” are designed to emphasi e natural contours and improve skin texture. ineup includes the usual suspects like facial wash and after-shave lotion, but there also are more manly additions like Pec Fix, Bicep Fix, and Ab Fix, the names of which alone will make you want to rip off his clothes. .#.. Ã '.#.. <C8#Xdb
here once your sweetheart made you the center of the universe, you’re now fighting for one full evening of quality couples’ time. So what gives? sing (sadly) our experience, we’ve put together a quick-and-dirty guide to some red flags that could mean the ultimate betrayal is happening right under your nose and you’re in denial about it. ee in ind o i t i definiti e nd the e ren t e nt to e in ed o t t i t e t fi e o the e ring a bell, child, you need to address that mess in short order. Cheaters, beware We’re calling you out HE GUARDS THE PHONE LIKE NOBODY’S BUSINESS It wasn’t until you couldn’t find your phone and reached for his that you noticed e’s changed his password. Then it dawned on you Since when does he get up in the middle of the night to take a call in the other room, or keep his phone guarded under his pillow while he sleeps? It’s almost like he’s hiding something. mm. It’s even more obvious when ... SHE’S GOT A SUDDEN FLURRY OF TEXT ACTIVITY THAT SHE CAN’T TEAR AWAY FROM Speaking of playing keep-away with the phone, she’s on it all the time lately At the slightest chirp, she’s frantically fishing it out of her bag and drops any interest in anything other than the person who keeps friggin’ texting. Earth to bae, remember us? HE GOES OFF THE RADAR AND RETURNS WITH LAME EXPLANATIONS Remember being stoked for the weekend hike picnic combo? ow about that glorious feeling of seeing him after a rough day and falling into his everlovin’ arms? Too bad those are relics of the past now that “things” keep coming up. Things? Things. Things so bad that he can’t even call, text, or answer his phone for days on end. Some kinda love, eh? HE’S MIXING YOU UP WITH SOMEONE ELSE A LOT LATELY That wisecrack he made about that scene in “Taken ” didn’t go over well when he reali ed, at the same time you did, that he saw it with someone else. Ditto when he asked the name of that cake you ordered at Sam’s No. yesterday. int o e een ow r or the t i onth When you call him out, he tries to make light of it and wants you to drop it. “It’s nothing,” he says ... but you know better in your heart.
Casetify elp your partner preserve his or her selfies, ‘usies,’ and other photos while protecting their digital lifeblood with a custom case from Casetify. ou’ll create functional sentiment to complement an iPhone, iPod, iPad, or Android devices by pulling pics from Facebook and Instagram to build a collage of images in a selection of patterns, including a heart. '.#.* 8VhZi^[n#Xdb
SHE’S SUDDENLY FULL OF CUTE STORIES ABOUT HER OTHER “FRIEND” She’s not really the bubbly sort, but damned if she doesn’t perk up every ten minutes when something reminds her of that “hilarious” new friend she’s been hanging out with. ell, you practically feel like the new girl is your friend, too, with as much 11 as you’ve got on where she grew up, what foods she hates, her impossible hip-to-waist ratio, and yada yada yada. HE’S WORRIED ABOUT HIS LOOKS MORE THAN USUAL Normally, he’s a logo tee and jeans kinda guy, but now? Now he’s all about rocking some carefullyironed pants and making sure his cuffs match when he rolls them up. It’s almost like he’s trying to impress someone. is hair isn’t that adorable mop you love to tussle anymore after that slick style-up from enry’s. And another new cologne? Carb-counting? ou’d ask to join in the personal makeover if he didn’t seem so disinterested in you. SHE MAKES EXCUSES TO AVOID INTIMACY ou were compassionate when the headache stretched into week two. ou didn’t balk too much when she started hiding her nakedness from you. But when you go to touch her even if it’s as simple as stroking her hair she pulls away from you. And it’s not just physical intimacy she avoids. Any attempt at getting on her wavelength, from helping her work through a family issue to making her some of what used to be her favorite sleepy tea, is met with an unspoken “please just stop.” She’s just not there.
Bits of Love Jewelry If you’re not quite ready to take the legal plunge with your main squee e, Bits of ove jewelry can help you effectively express your four-letter affection without signing an anxiety-inducing lifelong contract. Each solid-sterling silver ring is handcrafted in the nited States, and a portion of sales benefit Street Poets Inc., a poetry initiative for at-risk youth that believes in the power of words to transform. .* 7^ihD[AdkZHinaZ#Xdb
SHE PICKS FIGHTS WITH YOU AND HAULS ASS ne minute, she’s happily peeling carrots with the phone cradled on her shoulder and gabbing with a friend. Enter you, who just wants to hang out and help. After a terse “let me call you back,” she’s barking up your tree for getting in the way of her life. (What?) Every negative facet from the beginning of your relationship til now gets thrown out and the next thing you know, she’s grabbing her jacket and heading toward the new bestie’s house. Any excuse will do, right? HE THINKS YOU “DESERVE BETTER” What’s with all the trash-talking himself? e’s oddly insistent that you’re with the wrong guy here lately. Why would you “deserve” better? Is he wronging you? No, really. Think about it When you tell other people that they deserve better, isn’t it when they’re being treated poorly? So why is he’s telling you that you deserve better than him? It’s because you probably do, baby. OUTFRONTONLINE.COM
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Steven Cruz LESBIAN S&M LOVE STORY IMPRESSES CRITICS Imagine an alternate plane populated only with intellectual women and sparkling with intense visuals, music, and sounds. Such is the world of The Duke of Burgundy that has won over audiences and set critics abu . With a cumulative score from film critics on Rotten Tomatoes’ review site of 97 percent, this English-language import is golden. eslie Felperin (The ollywood Reporter) reviewed the film at the Toronto International Film Festival “ isually ravishing, emotionally wise, and kinky as a coiled rope, writerdirector Peter Strickland’s third feature ‘The Duke of Burgundy’ is a delight it features Sidse Babett nudsen and Chiara D’Anna as lovers who like to play mistress and servant.” But there is an intriguing twist in this tale of control and submission Evelyn (D’Anna), the submissive partner, is the one who controls the scenarios and dialogue. The mechanics are fascinating, lively, and believably conveyed. There is a sly sense of humor that could be overlooked in a film with themes of dominance and submission. ere, it lends realistic texture and relief from taking itself too seriously. The strength of this film is that astounding eye and ear candy are backdrop to layered and fully-formed characters and an inventive plot. Don’t be fooled by the sensuous preview trailer which markets this film as sex-centric this is very much a film about love and what it means
to these women. While one guides the scenarios, but casts herself in the submissive role, it almost seems as if the other who assumes the dominant role is insecure and even apprehensive, and might be more comfortable in a vanilla relationship. Mike D’Angelo of The nion A. . Club writes, “‘The Duke of Burgundy’ is a beautiful love story disguised as stylish smut. At its core, this is one of the most incisive, penetrating, and empathetic films ever made about what it truly means to love another person, audaciously disguised as salacious midnight-movie fare. No better picture is likely to surface all year.” That’s high praise for any film to live up to. D’Angelo is not alone in his opinion. The production design, lighting, ’70s mood and textures, music track by Cat’s Eye, and layering of imagery and insect sounds all garner rave reviews. While bored housewives are waiting around on “Fifty Shades of Beige,” Burgundy promises to deliver vibrant and lasting impressions. “The Duke of Burgundy” plays exclusively at andmark Theaters beginning February 1 . MATT SHEPARD IS A FRIEND OF MINE Michele Josue is a classmate of Matt Shepard’s from his boarding school days in Swit erland. The film has spent the last year gathering acclaim on the .S. film festival circuit including four Best Documentary nods and was screened in Russia at the Side-by-Side Film Festival in St. Petersburg. It rolls out in major cities beginning February , and opens in Denver Feb. 27. Josue’s film is a very personal homage to Matt, who was killed in 199 ago in a hate crime that tore open consciousness worldwide. aving known Matt personally, Josue’s debut film documentary offers intimacy not before seen. The film opens Feb. 27 at AMC Cherry Creek. Screening info nationwide and tickets available at MattShepardIsAFriendOfMine.com/screenings
THE HEAT IS ON AT BOYZTOWN Despite the cold weather, things were sizzling at Boyztown on January 23! Denver’s hottest male revue will help keep your buns warm this winter. Boyztown features daily drink specials and some new eye candy for your viewing pleasure. The show kicks off at 10pm Tuesday through Sunday. Photos by Charles Broshous
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LI’L DEVILS SECOND ANNIVERSARY Li’l Devils celebrated their second anniversary on January 24. The event featured free wells, domestic drafts, house wines, and light appetizers. Lil’s Devils is located at 225 S. Broadway. Photos by Charles Broshous
BANDS ON THE RUN Gregg Shapiro Future Islands’ “Singles” ( AD) isn’t a hits compilation, in spite of the album’s title but it should be. Every song on the album is strong enough to stand on its own and the combined firepower of the tracks is devastating and da ling. Part of the credit goes to the trio’s lead vocalist Samuel T. erring, whose soulful wail is unlike anything you’ve ever heard before. Irresistible and mesmeri ing, erring hooks listeners the moment he opens his mouth on “Seasons (Waiting n ou).” f course, it helps that the songwriting, which is one of the most successful updates of new wave in recent memory, is also phenomenal. ou can dance, if you want to, to songs such as the haunting “Spirit,” the slinky “Doves,” the radiant “ ight ouse,” the gravitational pull of “ ike The Moon,” and the dreamy “A Dream of ou Me,” or you can just listen for pleasure, because there is much to be experienced when it comes to Future Islands. 46
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OK Go is probably better known for its inventive and mind-boggling music videos than it is for its music, but that should change with “ ungry hosts” (Parachute BM ). Sure, the visually remarkable videos for the New rder-esque “The Writing’s n The Wall” and the funky retro disco hand-clapper “I Won’t et ou Down,” both from “ ungry hosts,” are tasty and filling. But here’s the thing even without the visuals, both songs are special in their own right. Kongos, made up of four brothers Johnny, Jesse, Dylan, and Danny were the men behind the hit single “Come With Me Now” from their major-label debut album unatic (Epic). ike Echosmith, the ongos brothers are the progeny of a singer songwriter John ongos, who also had a hand in their record as exec producer backing vocalist. The brothers are a solid musical act with promise and songs such as “Escape,” “ ey I Don’t now,” “It’s A ood ife,” and “I’m nly Joking” are the proof.
ASK THE SEXPERT: SWEETENING THE DEAL
Photo: Christina Gressianu
Dear Shanna, I love giving blow jobs, no doubt about that. However, sometimes my guy’s semen smells and tastes a little funky. I don’t want to insult him by telling him, but do you have any tips on how to sweeten the pot a little? Turning Up the Taste Factor, Denver.
Shanna Katz
P E O P L E TA S T E T H E W AY T H E Y ’ R E S U P P O S E D T O TA S T E . H OW EV E R, VA R I OUS T H I N G S C A N I M PA C T AND CHANGE THIS F L AVO R, R EGA R D L ESS OF SOMEONE’S SEX OR GENDER.
Dear Turning p the Taste, So here’s the deal about bodily fluids that come out of n one genitals People taste the way they’re supposed to taste. owever, various things can impact and change this flavor, regardless of someone’s sex or gender. ere are a few tips on how to make these fluids a little sweeter Make sure to keep hydrated. If someone isn’t hydrated enough, body fluids can get thicker, which makes any smell or taste more pronounced. When someone is dehydrated, their body will focus on using the existing amount of fluid for necessary bodily functions, and contrary to popular belief, ejaculation isn’t on the first-round list of necessary functions to take care of. More water in your system thins out fluids, among many other benefits. What you eat can sweeten the load. While people frequently quote the benefits of pineapple, any citrus-y fruit will do you just as well. emon, lime, orange, grapefruit, heck, even a tangelo Juice them, peel them, put them in drinks. Citrus will help with flavors down below, for both you and your partner. What you eat can do more than just make you taste better it can also add bitter and other less-than-desirable flavors too. arlic is on the fence if you love the flavor of garlic, it can be a turn on, but others prefer to abstain from it before
sex. n the other hand, foods like cream, broccoli, asparagus, etc., definitely create bitter tastes between your legs. Think ahead when planning your pre-date dinners. Alcohol in large quantities can also add not so great flavors. It can also dehydrate you, giving you your partner a one-two punch of not-so-much deliciousness. Drink in moderation or not at all, at least if you’re planning on getting some below the belt action. Hit the showers! We sweat and lose skin cells as day, so if you’re worried about how you or your partner might smell or taste, start your tryst with a rinse. ou’ll both know that the other is so fresh and so clean plus, it’s a great way to get some foreplay started. Consider staying away from fettuccine alfredo with the broccoli side, and consider a pineapple juice mojito (light on the rum) a few hours before it’s time to go down, and both you and your partner should be good to go. If it still seems to be an issue, consider some of Sliquid’s fantastic line of glycerin-free, paraben-free (and of course, sugar-free) flavored lubes like pink lemonade or cherry vanilla, and keep on sucking on. Best of luck Shanna e e tion o d i e to h nn Email shannakatz@gmail.com.
non
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h nn t d i o rd ertified e o o i t e it ed tor nd thor who e ie e in o en o r e accessible sexuality education. For more info on teaching d t to o ti i e their e i e i it ShannaKatz.com.
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O U T BAC K C L ASS I F I E DS Envisioned by Boberto
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BACKWORDS
WHICH ROMY & MICHELLE QUOTE WAS INSPIRED BY YOU? Aquarius: “If you fuck with me in any way, I will rip each and every appendage from your body starting with your private part. Capice?”
Cancer: “God this underwear is totally riding up my butt crack.” Leo: “Would you excuse me? I cut my foot before and my shoe is filling up with blood.”
Pisces: “Even though we’ve seen Pretty Woman, like, 36 times, I never get tired of making fun of it.”
Virgo: “Do you think you can stop being such a baby?”
Aries: “Even though I had to wear that stupid back brace and you were kind of fat, we were still totally cutting edge.”
Scorpio: “I was so lucky to get mono. That was the best diet ever!”
Taurus: “Well, my first choice was to work at a boutique on Rodeo Drive, but this would be okay.” Gemini: “This dress exacerbates the genetic betrayal that is my legacy.”
Libra: “That hurt, but it looked really good.” Sagittarius: “You look so good with blond hair and black roots its, like, not even funny.” Capricorn: “Tell everyone [at the high school reunion] I said go fuck themselves for making my teen years a living hell.”
CROSSWORD ACROSS 1: Last name of “Keeping the Faith” author 2: Star of “Looking” Russell _______ 3: Name of adoptable cat 4: Movie in our NSFW List “Velvet _______”
DOWN 1: Author Shanna wrote “Kink & _______” 2: “Sleeping with _______ People” 3: Spa that writer Noah visited 4: Restaurant we reviewed this issue 5: Gay Matchmaking Piece “_______ Him Out” Each week, Out Front will feature a crossword e or o r re der to o e on e the fini h the i e The n wer wi o e ro o r e The fir t hoto o orre t o eted e ent to Berlin@OutFrontOnline.com will be entered in a dr win or i t rd to hi 50
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It’s love at first sight.
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Love. It’s what makes a Subaru, a Subaru.
Subaru is a registered trademark. *PZEV emissions warranty applies to only certain states. See retailer for complete information on emissions and new car limited warranties. †EPA-estimated hwy fuel economy for 2015 Subaru XV Crosstrek CVT models. Actual mileage may vary.
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