February 17, 2016 :: Label Clothes (Not People) by OUT FRONT Magazine

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CONTENTS FEBRUARY 17, 2016 VOL39 NO22

26 06 FROM THE INBOX 08 OSCAR AND “MY KIND:” A CHILDHOOD BRO-MANCE 10 KERMIE KURMUDGEON’S ROAD RAGES AND RANTS 16 40 YEARS LATER, STILL A BOY IN THE BAND

18 A YOUNG QUEER’S CASE AGAINST COMING OUT

20 BEING QUEER NOW: YOUNG POETS SPEAK OUT 30 WHEN SOUTHERN TREES BEAR GAY FRUIT

PHOTO CREDIT: KYLE CHRISTY/TLC

32 FOR THE YOUTH 34 MARK MY WORDS 38 CAN WE GET BEHIND OUR LGBT MUSICIANS, TOO? 41 GET HOOKED! 44 HEINZESIGHT 46 DUELING WITH DEPRESSION: MEDITATE ON THIS 50 ASK A SLUT

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SERVING THE LGBT COMMUNITY OF THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS SINCE 1976 3535 Walnut Street, Denver, Colorado 80205 PHONE 303-477-4000 • FAX 303-325-2642 WEB OutFrontOnline.com FACEBOOK /OutFrontColorado TWITTER @OutFrontCO INSTAGRAM /OutFrontColorado FOUNDER PHIL PRICE 1954-1993 ADMINISTRATION info@outfrontonline.com JERRY CUNNINGHAM Publisher J.C. MCDONALD Vice President MAGGIE PHILLIPS Operations Manager JEFF JACKSON SWAIM Chief Strategist EDITORIAL editorial@outfrontonline.com BERLIN SYLVESTRE Editor RYAN HOWE Digital Content Manager BRENT HEINZE Senior Columnist RACHEL BECHER Intern CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Chris Arneson, Paul Bindel, Riya Foxter, Mahogany Jones, Rick Kitzman, Mark Segal, Gregg Shapiro, Akiva Weinstein, Mike Yost, The Cycle Sluts ART art@outfrontonline.com TRISHA HIMMLER Art Director CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Charles Broshous, Kyle Christy, Jessika Lawyer, Kevin Lynch, Heidi Morgan, Tyler Shaw, Torbakhopper MARKETING & SALES marketing@outfrontonline.com DUSTIN KRIER Director of Sales & Marketing JORDAN JACOBS Senior Marketing Executive TOPHER LA FLEUR Marketing Executive NATIONAL ADVERTISING Rivendell Media 212-242-6863 | sales@rivendellmedia.com DISTRIBUTION

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O U T F R O N T O N L I N E . C O M 5

FROM THE INBOX GOOD MORNING! I was delighted to see your article on selfprotection firearms in the January issue of OUT FRONT. I’ve been involved in the firearms hobby for more than 60 years, and I’ve had a concealed-carry permit for about fifteen years. As the saying goes, “My guns must be defective because they’ve never hurt anybody.” I figure folks around me are safer with me and my gun nearby than not. I have always found it strange that some of the most victimized groups, including the gays, the elderly, the Jews, etc., have umbrella organizations whose official or unstated policies are anti-firearms. Now that’s really insane, isn’t it? I recall that one of the great firearms writers, Jeff Cooper, responded to the

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question “Doesn’t violence beget violence?” by saying, essentially, “I certainly hope so. I make it a goal in life that anyone who offers violence to me or mine receives more violence in return than he can possibly enjoy.” (A paraquote.) The days of “give them what they want and they’ll go away” are gone. What they may want is your life or their pleasure with your body and quite possibly, they don’t want to leave a witness — meaning you. Thanks again for your perceptions on the self-defense aspects of carrying a gun. TAT The column in reference is Guns in America: You Can’t Unring the Bell, and can be found in the Jan. 20 issue of OUT FRONT.

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Song. Bill Lauch’s acceptance speech on behalf of partner Howard Ashman (who had recently died of the disease) rendered many vicarious tears.

OSCAR AND “MY KIND:” A CHILDHOOD BRO-MANCE I LOVE OSCAR! THIS LIFETIME LOVE AFFAIR IS MY SUPER BOWL. Rick Kitzman REMEMBER YOUR THRILLING CHILDHOOD interest criticized for its deviant interpretation? My Little Ricky’s was the Academy Awards movie celebration. People told him that was queer, and the sneer felt bad — but eventually, I discovered my kind of people. And like a movie, memory replays 1961’s Time Machine winning Special Effects. I’m hooked! Judy Garland loses for Judgment at Nuremberg. It’s rigged! My loves Mary Poppins and Julie Andrews win in 1965. It’s fair! I’m conflicted! Debbie Reynolds, nominated for The Unsinkable Molly Brown, loses. (These early years seeded annual ambivalence.) I hid my Oscar glee and the odd stirrings I felt watching hunky Time Machine’s Rod Taylor with best friend and first love

WINSTON THE NICE GUY

Winston has been described by new friends here as a cutie, a sweetie, and a nice little guy who walks well on a leash! He can be shy at first and would do best in a quiet home with children over the age of 10. Come meet this sweet boy! 8 F E B R U A R Y 1 7, 2 0 1 6

Steve. But movies and their awards show would mold parts of my gay persona. Like in 1970, Oscar’s Year of the Cowboy. Underage, I had sneaked into the Brighton Twin, enthralled with gay-themed and X-rated Midnight Cowboy, lusting over Jon Voight. During the ceremony, I cheered when it won Best Picture, fantasized about Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, and hated John Wayne, Best Actor for True Grit, who despised my kind. Finally addressing the plague decimating my people, Longtime Companion, 1989’s first film dealing with AIDS, disappointingly lost its only nomination, Bruce Davison for Supporting Actor. In 1992, red ribbons supporting AIDS awareness and a gay lover first appeared. Then Beauty and the Beast won Best

CHICA THE BRAVE

Meet Chica! She’s been diagnosed with a heart condition and has a few other special needs, but in spite of that, she’s a cute and very happy girl who walks well on a leash!

Oscar nominates and awards few LGBT films telling my kind happiness and life are undeserved, evidenced by my poll: AIDS casualties — 5; death — 10; misery — 7; perverts — 11; rape — 1, 1972’s Deliverance (“I bet you can squeal like a pig.”); suicide — 4, including 1961’s The Children’s Hour, the earliest reference; documentaries — 3. There are a few exceptions, comedic drag films: Some Like It Hot, La Cage Aux Folles, Tootsie (preposterous!), Victor/Victoria. All of these creative, courageous, and compassionate films propelled the LGBT movement forward, informed the public, and deserved the Academy’s honors. This year’s nominees Carol, The Danish Girl, and Spotlight continue the momentum unlike other minorities with this year’s looming African American boycott. My kind doesn’t have a lock on the miseries of the human condition (the Academy’s recipe for honors) but with comparatively few LGBT films, “normal” subjects have little chance. For every The Kids Are All Right, there’s a Mel Gibson, homophobic Braveheart. My kind has few out Oscar winners and nominees. Unlike straight honorees playing LGBT characters, out actor Ian McKellen mused: “What about giving me one for playing a straight man?”

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OPINION

Conspiratorial Truckers block I-70 West, one semi traveling 10 mph passing another going 9 mph … from Clear Creek to the Eisenhower Tunnel! Parental Nits display the yellow diamond warning “Baby on Board.” Whew! Dodged that vehicular homicide!

KERMIE KURMUDGEON’S ROAD RAGES AND RANTS Rick Kitzman ”HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED THAT ANYBODY DRIVING SLOWER THAN YOU IS AN IDIOT, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?” — George Carlin By 2050, Front Range population will rise to 10,000,000! Think traffic sucks now? Double the number of these idiots and maniacs! Sly Slow Pokers drive 10 miles under speed limit, then punch through a yellow light leaving you fuming at a red light. 3-ton Diesel Dementos: After you honk at their pick-up that’s bigger than your apartment, these 3Ds flip you off and point to a gun rack. Honking Horn-Ins blast away if you prevent them crossing three lanes of traffic inside of 50 feet and changing lanes 37 times in the next three blocks because, of course, that lane is faster. You stay in one lane … and pass them as he/she gets stuck behind a red light. Yes! Texas Twits: YOU DO NOT OWN COLORADO ROADS! (Note: Never call a Texan a twit to his/her face.) Kalifornia Kooks: IT’S UNSAFE TO DRIVE 85 MPH ON I-25 DURING A BLIZZARD! (Note: It’s expected to call a Californian a kook.) Cadillac Crammers squeeze their Esperanzas in a space marked “COMPACT ONLY.” Sprawling Screwballs take two parking spaces for their Mini-Cooper. Buttinskys zoom past motorists following “merge” warnings, try to cut in, DON’T signal. And I’m supposed to let you in? The Dazed and Confused can’t signal because the device a baby can flick is a “secret.” Or they leave the signal on because they’re from Miami. Oh-Yeah-Buddies speed up the moment you pass, thinking, “Oh yeah, buddy?” I’ll show you! I was safely dialing on my mobile phone. Mobile Phone Morons — often confused with drunks or stoners — drive 2 mph, weave in and out, and/or move forward only after the car in front is 10 lengths ahead. Horse Blinder Behinders don’t scrape snow off their windshields because they only drive forward. Crazy Ticketers? Alamosa to Walsenburg: Two-lane highway, no traffic, clear blue sky. Cripes, the cop had to be doing 90 to catch me — I mean you. How crazy is that!? 1 0 F E B R U A R Y 1 7, 2 0 1 6

Deejay Dorks cruise in boom-box autos with sound systems rivaling the Pepsi Center and Richter-scale 6 quaking, threatening to crack your engine block and shred your eardrums. Do not open your window, crank up your radio, turn slyly, and think, “HA! Take that! Public Radio!” (Not so much intimidating as embarrassing.) Ass Riders (not the good kind) almost kiss the rear bumper of the vehicle in front displaying the bumper sticker, “If you can read this, I will shoot you.” Not a good idea. Just sayin’. RTD Imbeciles follow a bus for blocks and lurch in front of you when it slows for a stop. Really? Did you think that was Grandpa’s motor-home? Jaywalking Jerks too damn lazy to walk 50 feet to an intersection, cross the middle of Colfax, daring you to hit them. Lemming Hogs, at a left lane signal timed to allow three, will chase the 37 more who turn. (Note: T-boning is illegal.) Narcissistic Bicyclists: like evangelicals, think laws don’t apply to them. Pushovers refuse your signal because allowing you to overtake makes them wimps on the freeway of life. By God, not here! S t a r t -Yo u r - E n g i n e - N A S CA R Wannabes rev their engines at I-25 on-ramp control lights, then floor it because to be second would make them wimps on the freeway of life. By God, not here! So I’m outta here! Moving to Peyton, near Colorado Springs, population 250, and no, not the birthplace of our beloved Broncos quarterback. Or Two Buttes, population 43, a hill in Colorado’s southwest Baca County. The name makes me giggle. But driving in Colorado? No laughing matter.

LEGAL DIRECTORY

DO I REALLY HAVE TO PAY THOSE TRAFFIC CAMERA TICKETS? IF YOU DRIVE IN THE DENVER METRO AREA, ODDS are you have (or will soon) receive a photo radar ticket. This ticket will include a picture of you (or someone) driving your car, a picture of your license plate, and an explanation that you were photographed while allegedly speeding or running a red light. So what should you do if you receive such a ticket? The ticket itself will have several payment options and reference the easy ways to pay your fine, and will allude to the more difficult options of contesting your identification in the photograph or pleading not guilty. There is another option. Under Colorado law, if the only witness to the traffic offense is a camera, you have to be officially served with the penalty assessment notice or summons and complaint. Being mailed the original ticket has no legal effect.

Being served means the document is handed to you by a police officer or process server, left at your home with an adult (18 or older), or mailed to your last known address via certified mail, return receipt requested. If you haven’t received the ticket by one of the formal methods listed above, service has not occurred and you have no duty to respond. If 90 days pass from the date of your alleged offense without service, your violation will automatically be dismissed. Within those 90 days, though, there is some risk to ignoring the ticket. Although points cannot be assessed against your license, if the city does move forward with personal service, you would be liable for the costs of that service, which could substantially increase the cost of the ticket. Different cities are more aggressive with moving forward with the more formal service methods, so drive carefully and remember — even empty intersections could have eyes on you.

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Sing Out,

Sister GREGG SHAPIRO

FANNY BRICE WASN’T THE ONLY FUNNY LADY WHO COULD CARRY A TUNE. Margaret Cho did a good job of establishing herself as a singer and songwriting collaborator on her 2010 debut music album Cho Dependent. One of the busiest women in show business, between her stand-up comedy shows, Showtime specials, co-hosting duties on Fashion Police and her activism for queer, women’s, and animal rights and causes, Cho has found the time to write and record her follow-up album, American Myth. Due out on April 29, Cho recorded the album with her band The Dog Children, and co-wrote most of the songs with out singer/songwriter Garrison Starr. She describes it as “a glamorous and glittering tribute to family, comedy, anger, fame, gayness, grief, fat pride, love, and hate.” I spoke with Margaret about the album and more in early 2016.

Margaret, I had the pleasure of attending your concert in Miami in the fall of 2015, and the thing that struck me when you sang during the show’s finale is how increasingly strong your singing voice has become. You were belting! Why thank you!

Are you taking voice lessons and who is your voice teacher?

When I interviewed Lea DeLaria at the time she released her first jazz vocal album, it seemed to me that singing was something she wanted to do all along and that the other things she did as a performer all led up to this moment. Would it be fair to say that being a singer is something that you have always wanted to be? Oh, always. But then, again, I’m very much a stand-up comedian in my heart. That’s really what I do. Now I’m trying to incorporate all of the different elements of my work as a performer, and use it as a stand-up comedian.

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PHOTO CREDIT: KEVINLYNCH

I’d been taking various lessons. I’ve also had a lot of incredible singers give me a ton of great advice. Cyndi Lauper kind of taught me the basics, and I’ve also worked with Bird. She’s a tremendous coach and she often coaches the contestants on American Idol.

You are calling your new album American Myth. Please say something about the title. It comes from one of the lyrics to the song “Anna Nicole.” It’s a song about Anna Nicole Smith. It’s the archetype of the tragic beauty who is too good for this world. It’s an American myth in the same way we mythologize Marilyn Monroe or James Dean. It’s an archetype we see over and over in film and on TV. That’s what I was referring to and what the song is about. It’s my version of “Candle In the Wind” for Anna Nicole.

I’m so glad that you mentioned the song Anna Nicole, which you co-wrote with Garrison Starr. Why was now the time to do this loving tribute to Anna Nicole? I actually wrote the song with Garrison in 2010. We just hadn’t released it. It seemed too soon. You want to have some time to think about her. The world has changed. I think it’s the right time to look at her as kind of a frontrunner in reality television. She was Kim Kardashian before Kim Kardashian [laughs] was Kim Kardashian. Of course, Kim Kardashian is a kind of archetype. But she owns her beauty and is tremendously successful. There’s no tragedy, there’s no drug story. There’s just her and her fame and her beauty. But Anna Nicole created that template of somebody that you’d want to watch on reality TV. Somebody that you’d want to invite into your home or as a role model, in terms of beauty and lifestyle and glamour.

Have you had the chance to try out all of the songs on the new album in front of a live audience? Yes, I’ve tried a few of them. A couple of the songs are a staple in my stand-up comedy. I usually end my shows with songs.

How has the reaction been? The reaction has been tremendous! Especially to a song called Kill My Rapist. I think it’s an important song. It’s not about violence. It’s about a cathartic release. To let go of the anger that survivors often feel (because) they are silenced and not allowed to express it. There’s a great catharsis that happens in the audience. They’ve watched this comedy show, they’ve laughed and laughed, and now let’s take it to something that is serious, but at the same time there’s a dark humor

running through it. It’s a good way to bring what I do as a musician into what I do as a comedian.

I’m glad you mentioned Kill My Rapist because it made me think of Tori Amos’s song Me and A Gun and the way that opened up the conversation about rape, and made people aware of the organization RAINN (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network). Do you feel like you are reigniting that torch of conversation? I hope so. I love that song and I love Tori Amos. RAINN is a really important organization and it’s still going strong. I think rock and roll can bring a lot of healing. This year we’ve also seen Til It Happens To You, the wonderful Lady Gaga and Diane Warren song (from The Hunting Ground doc), we’re seeing more of this and people talking about their experiences. It could also be an effect of Bill Cosby and all of his victims coming forward. We’re living in an era of important truth and feminism and women standing up for themselves. This is a good sign.

I wouldn’t ordinarily watch Wife Swap, but when I saw that you were going to be on it, I couldn’t resist. On the whole, what was that experience like for you? It was great! I love Holly Robinson Peete. I love her family. We had the best time. Her husband is fantastic. Her kids are beautiful. I really enjoyed being in that environment. I’m not often around that kind of family. I’m not around kids. I’m not around straight men [laughs]. I had a very nice time.

Your television presence has also increased with your recurring appearances on Fashion Police. How do you like being a part of the team? I love it! I’ve become very close to all of the co-hosts. I love Brad, I love Giuliana, I love Nene, and I’m especially tight with Melissa. I’ve known her for a very long time. She’s my sister. Consistently, what we do is try to honor Joan Rivers’ memory. We try to do her justice. Fashion Police was Joan’s favorite thing. It was her most prized accomplishment. She really enjoyed it. What we try to do is bring it up back to her level. There’s no way you could ever replace Joan Rivers, but we can at least try to have fun and make her proud.

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C H R I S A R N E S O N

A PERFECT CHILDHOOD BALANCE IN DOLLHOUSES AND RACETRACKS

DURING K I N D E R G A R T E N Every future gay man develops his penchant for home decorating roundup, I was asked to refrain from through boyhood dollhouses, right? playing with the kitchenette — not because I was a boy, but because Except I wasn’t really that boy from it was “out of order.” I still don’t the Moschino Barbie commercial. completely believe that justification, (God, I wish I were as cool as him.) We although it was the first time I didn’t have stylish dolls. I remember remember anyone telling me I wasn’t one time dressing my couple in allowed to play with a certain toy. curtains and calling them “Kurt & Growing up with a big sister, we had a pretty diverse collection of playthings. Nothing was totally off-limits, and we were pretty cool with sharing. Barbie would hang out with Ninja Turtles; my Hot Wheels track would strategically loop around dollhouses. We knew who owned what, but toys were toys. And sometimes, Barbie’s adventures were more fun for me. You see, my sister had this epic homemade, wooden dollhouse crafted by my grandpa. (He’s always been a craftsman.) Every granddaughter got her own dollhouse; every grandson got a barn. I loved my barn, but it just wasn’t a sprawling 4-foot-tall dream home that hinged opened like a book with eight windowed rooms. It was even carpeted it with those samples swatches you can get from home improvement stores! There wasn’t much furniture for it, but we got creative.

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Anne.” Not for fashion reasons, but because we literally didn’t have any other clothes for them. I hadn’t even seen The Sound of Music yet for inspiration. My aunt from Nebraska got me my own Ken doll for Christmas once, and I wasn’t even ashamed about it. I hadn’t learned about multiplication yet, but I already knew my Ken doll was hotter than my sister’s. Ain’t that something? My grandparents’ house was the best, though. They had this antique yellow Barbie “Star Traveler” RV straight out of the 1970s. So when we were on vacation, the Barbies were, too. But VINTAGE. The way we played with dolls was similar to the way people play The Sims, so I never understood why only girls could play — I just knew that no other kids could know I did. (Much like several other scenarios down the line.) And they didn’t. I’m actually

I FEEL LIKE I OWE A CHUNK OF MY MATURITY TO THOSE DOLLHOUSE DAYS. WHEN I WAS PLAYING THERE, I WAS AN ADULT WITH MY OWN HOME AND FAMILY TO MANAGE. IT DIDN’T MATTER WHETHER STORE AISLES LABELED THOSE AS GIRL TOYS; I KNEW WHAT THEY MEANT TO ME. not sure what I would have done had my elementary school friends discovered my interest. This was sibling bonding for me. I’m sure if I had a brother, I’d be a little more apt to set Barbies on fire. But my sister never once told me it wasn’t okay to play along with her dolls — only that it was our thing. Whether we wanted to take the dolls on a scenic car ride across the painting of a country road on our basement wall or have a cliffside wedding atop a coffee table, my imagination was at its best with these toys. I’ve always wondered if I would still be gay if I didn’t grow up wanting to play with my sister’s toys. Or if I were straight and still ended up playing with them, would I be even more ashamed? My childhood was still filled with the raddest collection of toy cars and action figures. I feel like I owe a chunk of my maturity to those dollhouse days. When I was playing there, I was an adult with my own home and family to manage. It didn’t matter whether store aisles labeled those as girl toys; I knew what they meant to me. So of course I’m cool with Target’s decision to neutralize gender in their toy aisles. But will that make the stigma go away? Probably not yet. Hell, even I’d still be caught off-guard if my son wanted a pink bedroom. It’s societal, but if other places follow in Target’s footsteps, a revolution could still happen. For now, at least I know from experience, a balanced toy selection won’t ruin a kid’s life. Spread the word.

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R I C K K I T Z M A N

“I DON’T UNDERSTAND ANY OF IT. I NEVER DID.” — Michael in The Boys in the Band Young LGBTs deny, ignore, can’t imagine ancient age. Nor could I; I’ll live forever. Old LGBTs complain that coming out now is easy. I do; I’m jealous. Contempt divides us. Mawkish eyerolling insults the reality, courage, and sanctity of each LGBT’s coming-out experience, our unique bond like no other tribe on the planet. The young can inspire the old with excitement and fresh perspectives, rekindling faded interests. The old can mentor the young with excitement and wise perspectives, building needed confidence. Borrowing from Bowie, we can be heroes, each other’s, and more courageously, become a hero to ourselves.

40 YEARS LATER, STILL A BOY IN THE BAND

To the young I say, more years mean more experiences. Your beliefs and feelings about your memories will change because you will change and, though based in fact, memory is fluid. We all have wondrous and tragic memories. At 62, as I retell mine with the luxury of a longer perspective, I decide their meaning anew. If you’re lucky enough to age, you’ll know what I mean. Meandering through my mental maze, I linger in 1974 ... sitting in Blueberry, my Ford Fairlane, on the east side of Frasier Hall, home to theater classes on the University of Northern Colorado (UNC) campus in Greeley. Tall trees burst with new green as a warm breeze promises spring. Vomit verges, I shake my head, shout, “I can’t do this!” And I speed away. A terrifying decision about coming out rages within, but I return to audition for The Boys in the Band. Mart Crowley’s 1968 play about a homosexual birthday party carries the schizophrenic burden of being a celebrated, ground-breaking depiction of human archetypes

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and a dated, reviled exploitation of self-hating stereotypes. In 1974 the play was barely eight years old, the Stonewall Riots only seven. Conservative cow-town Greeley was home to many relatives, the UNC campus cliquish. I had just begun confronting agonizing, life-long impulses. My anxiety wasn’t that UNC’s audience would erroneously assume all the cast was gay (it wasn’t), but to correctly assume that I was. So yeah, I wanted to throw up. But I didn’t. I was cast as Larry and embraced the thrill of theater, my passion. Now I flip through a dog-eared script, a yellowed report I wrote for a class, the mimeographed program, pictures of me with long hair, memories wash over me ... I’d acquired the playbook in high school, and nervously asked my drama teacher to explain titillating terms. She came out to me as a lesbian and guided my blossoming into gay life. I wrote the report for my General Semantics class, detailing responses to a cast questionnaire and analyzing a very unscientific audience survey. I grin at the big, red A, and guffaw reading “I identify as bisexual.” (For the record, I’m a perfect Kinsey 6.) I know one cast member died of AIDS and two are positive, one still a dear friend. The lead actor seduced me, and the married director tried, despite yelling, “Why are you so secretive!” (Hmmm.) Ending every performance? Standing ovations, every actor’s gravy. My thick David Cassidy hairdo? Heavy sigh. In 1974, elder and contemporary mentors — my heroes — played their parts in an act of my dramedy to join our LGBT band. Retelling this memory, I declare to young Rick, “You are my hero!” Forty years later Rick? Lucky to still feel like a boy in the band. Regardless of age, be a hero to someone, and to yourself, now.

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R I Y A

A YOUNG QUEER’S CASE AGAINST COMING OUT

“COMING” OUT IS LOOSELY DEFINED as an act of self-disclosing one’s gender identity or sexual preference. I’m not trans, so I’m not going to pretend to know anything about the politics of coming out as trans, so I’ll only talk about the sexual preference aspect. By now, coming out is a rite of passage that all queer teens are expected to participate in, much like prom or “the talk.” Every other day, a new celebrity makes headlines announcing their newfound homosexuality or their radical disavowal of all gender and sexual preference labels altogether! But why? Coming out of the closet insinuates several things: there is a closet, you are in it if you aren’t straight, and you need to come out of it for people to know you aren’t straight. Straight people are never in the closet because the default sexual preference is assumed to be heterosexuality. We as a culture operate under the assumption of “hetero until proven guilty.” The closet also suggests that homosexuality is still something a young homo would naturally hide, something she would tuck away along with her high-school pictures of prebraces bucked teeth and pre-Proactiv skin. And unless she gives in and has her Big Gay Quinceanera, her dirty little secret will always be there to haunt her. Or so goes the myth. Coming out was a terrifying and revolutionary act that’s led to political and social visibility and resulted in the attainment of many civil rights for queer individuals and, depending on your environment, coming out might still be terrifying and revolutionary. However, I think it’s high time for “coming out” to stop being a requirement for a non-heteronormative lifestyle. No

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one is owed an explanation of your sexuality. You don’t have to make a 10-minute Power Point with detailed diagrams of “how lesbians do it.” Why are people even brainstorming your sexuality? If a person of the opposite sex hits on you, all you have to do is tell them you’re gay and be done with it. Why are we required to stage spectacles and write three-paragraph Facebook statuses about our arduous journey from zero to queero? Coming out often robs you of privacy that straight people take for granted. How many straight people do you know that routinely get asked things like: When did you know you were straight? Were you always straight? How do you think your straightness affected the rest of your personality? Yesterday you were Regular Joe, today you’re your high school’s very own Gay Oprah. I’m not proposing feigning heterosexuality — that indeed would be constructing your very own closet — but I am proposing lifting the mandatory requirement of this ritual. Destroying “coming out” does not reduce visibility because queer people will still date and fuck other queer people and do all the same things they’d be doing had they subjected themselves to coming out. This approach would also discourage heteros of very annoyingly assuming everyone is straight unless there’s been a public service announcement. It would also create the opportunity for people to acknowledge the existence of Google, and search things they want to know about queer people on the World Wide Web instead of drowning their nearest young homo with questions like, “How much lube so it doesn’t hurt?” Please. Stop.

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P A U L B I N D E L

YOUNG POETS SPEAK OUT AFTER JESSIE HERNANDEZ WAS SHOT BY POLICE IN JANUARY 2015, LULU Vigil felt called to put down her pen and take to the streets “I could write a poem, but it didn’t mean that everyone was going to listen to it,” she says. “I had to let it be known publicly. Queer kids of color were being murdered, and no one was doing anything about it. Jessie [Hernandez] could have been me. I couldn’t just sit idle while everything was happening.” Vigil, an indigenous queer 17 year old from southwest Denver, was highly involved in the slam poetry scene, competing nationally with her team Minor Disturbance at Brand New Voices in 2014. She was a 2015 finalist for Denver’s Youth Poet Laureate and won the 2015 slam competition for Denver Public schools. However, postFerguson, her heightened consciousness led to activism, inspiring her to organize the United Students March in December 2014; to help with marches for Paul Castaway, an indigenous man also shot by Denver police last July; and to protest Hernandez’s death.

HAS YOUR ACTIVISM RESURFACED IN YOUR POETRY?

ILLUSTRATION: HEIDI MORGAN

Slam poetry and being an activist go hand in hand; slam poetry is a form of activism. You are using your voice to talk to the issues you see in the community. In Native culture, having spoken word is a tradition of keeping the word alive. That’s really what slam poetry and activism are. In order to keep the revolution alive and moving, making sure people know about it, we have to keep poetry and activism in front of people.

YOU’VE WRITTEN ABOUT PANSEXUALITY. WHY DO YOU THINK MORE YOUNG PEOPLE IDENTIFY AS PAN?

The idea of pansexuality is that your attraction is not bound to one gender or the other. Being pansexual involves explaining what it is to others — gathering the courage to constantly explain it, especially as a high school student. It often feels like you have to validate yourself as queer. I may be in a heterosexual relationship at one moment, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not queer, and identifying as pansexual helps me to communicate that.

TO DECOLONIZE QUEERNESS IS TO REALIZE THAT BEING TWO-SPIRITED IS OK. THE CREATOR GAVE YOU SOMETHING MORE; THE CREATOR BLESSED YOU. IT’S REALIZING WHAT IS YOURS AND NOT LETTING ANYBODY TALK YOU OUT OF IT. WHAT IS IT LIKE BEING A YOUNG QUEER PERSON NOW?

Queer people have overcome many obstacles, but today, many take for granted the work that’s been done. Honestly, being queer now is really chill. Society is open-minded, and we have many openly queer role models. The real issue is youth accepting themselves before they share their identity with the world. A big part of it is being comfortable in who you are, finding your group of people.

HOW DOES YOUR NATIVE IDENTITY INTERSECT WITH QUEERNESS?

It’s weird because you learn what it is to be native and what it is to be queer, and you have to put them together. You have no idea that natives were open to sexuality before colonization, then you realize that people who have gone through colonization have the colonized mindset of Christianity. Part of the reason natives are not accepting is because they colonized us like that, and it’s been beaten into us … being native, being young, being urban, and being queer is a lot of having to gather yourself and hold on tight.

HOW SO?

A lot of my high school life has been figuring out what is mine, figuring out what pieces I can claim. Most of [what I claim] predates colonization. Being queer and different was a part of being holy. You were more than normal. As an urban Indian, that history is not brought into the household. Being queer was ok once upon a time, but the fact that it isn’t ok now in my culture means that you have to decolonize it on your own. You have to decolonize queerness.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO DECOLONIZE QUEERNESS?

To decolonize queerness is to realize that being two-spirited is ok. The Creator gave you something more; the Creator blessed you. It’s realizing what is yours and not letting anybody talk you out of it.

WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD AS YOU HEAD OFF TO COLLEGE?

I only have three goals in life, and if I achieve these as an adult I’m sure I’ll be happy. I want to help others, either through my activism or through my poetry, I want to continue performing, and I want to travel. If I can do all of those at the same time, it’ll be a good outcome. Lulu Vigil’s first book of poetry High School Smoke Signals will be released on March 11 by Café Cultura.

MORGYNNE TORA WAS HOOKED ON SLAM POETRY from the moment their friend invited them to an open mic at the Mercury Café in 2010, and they toured the slam circuit with Minor Disturbance in 2015 to DC, LA, Atlanta, Albuquerque, and Houston, but it wasn’t until last summer that they felt like they discovered their voice. In the summer, they went to check out a newly opened Kava shop in Denver. Tora, a 19 year old Afro-Fijian who grew up in East Denver, was shocked. “They were serving Kava [a traditional Pacific Island drink] flavored with piña colada, and I thought, ‘This is so gross. This is my culture.’ I wrote a poem, calling out the owner for profiting off of native culture. When I read it, people understood the theme of profiting of appropriations. But when I went to Hawaii, I performed it in front of people from the South Pacific, and it was a deeper connection. People came up to thank me. I realized I needed to be a voice when people look for young people speaking from the South Pacific Islands.” Tora wanted not only to speak as a young person to their Pacific Islander community but also to speak as an Afro-Fijian to broader American society: “Pacific Islanders are still treated as a tourist attraction. Most people can’t even point Fiji on a map. I didn’t like feeling erased, so I started speaking. My poetry is an assertion that we’re still here. We survived.”

HOW ELSE DID YOU SENSE YOUR CALLING TO POETRY?

Being in Atlanta this last summer was liberating — 70% of the poets at Brand New Voices are black. I am Afro-Fijian, but I had never been in a place that was afrocentric, that was safe for black, queer artists. A lot of folks are stuck in the story that blackness only exists in American blackness, but I was able to see the possibility to share mine as a black Fijian.

HOW DID YOU CONNECT THE DOTS BETWEEN YOUR CULTURAL IDENTITY AND POETRY?

Like many indigenous cultures, story and legends play a big role in keeping Fijian culture alive. When I was [at college], I realized that poetry spoke to me because I had a duty to relay the story of myself and the story of my people. It’s not so much focused on myself. It’s focused on how can people understand their culture and the story of our survival. I want to preserve our oral history

WAS FIJIAN CULTURE IMPORTANT TO YOUR FAMILY GROWING UP?

I grew up Christian, and my family was very traditional. My mother was strict, born and raised in the church. In 2012,

someone outed me to my mom, which led to a shift in my spiritual identity. As an indigenous person from the South Pacific, I had to decolonize myself and recognize that isn’t my god or my culture. The process brought me to see identities that exist in indigenous culture that are not recognized in white America. I am speaking now from where I stand as a queer Pacific Islander and asserting, ‘We have always existed. Our gender identities have been colonized and decolonized over and over again.’

WHAT DOES YOUR SPIRITUALITY LOOK LIKE NOW?

Fijian indigenous spirituality is connected to ancestral energy and recognizing that you are part of it at every moment. Our path is not selfish, but our duty is to tell stories or to preserve traditions. My sister has an affinity for all of the traditions and norms. She knows what to do at functions. My duty is storytelling, keeping oral history.

DO YOU EXPERIENCE CONFLICT FROM ATTENDING A RELIGIOUS UNIVERSITY?

Church policy is that you can be queer in the church, but you cannot act on your feelings, so you’re celibate. I am not out [at school] because it’s a more traditional atmosphere of Pacific Island culture and religious culture mixed together. I have kind of drifted away from the church just because I can’t exist in my own intersections and also be in the church. They’re not there yet, and I don’t think they will be any time soon.

BUT YOU FEEL CONNECTED TO PEOPLE IN THE POETRY COMMUNITY?

The poetry community has given me an inclusive space in my own gender identity and sexuality. I feel valid and affirmed because poetry is all about living your truth, as long as it doesn’t harm yourself or other people. It’s been amazing to be a part of a community that sees me in all of my intersections. That means the world to me.

WHAT IS YOUR PERSPECTIVE ON QUEER CULTURE AS A WHOLE?

In the states, I think that white cis gay men are the face of the movement. There are spaces that are inclusive of queer people of color. But at large, it’s still colonial and restricted to binaries — the way we think of identity is still rigid. That’s not from individual people, but as a system, it’s whitewashed and has a culture of erasure.

WHAT DO YOU HOPE FOR YOUNG QUEER PEOPLE?

My big thing is safety. I want people to feel safe and have safe spaces. From where my craft comes from, I always say that new language and vocabulary is how we get free. Once we have vocabulary about the things that are hurting us and language for the things building up inside of us, we can liberate ourselves. I want young queer people to have vocabulary to talk about their identities and I want them to feel safe.

M O R G Y N N E T O R A

MY MOTHER’S PALE FACE REFLECTS MISSIONARIES that tore up my grandfather’s sugar cane fields replaced them with white chapels, filled them with white bibles and a savior nothing like my father’s family. the same thing happens at pride: white cis gays celebrating the supreme court legalizing marriage, while in the same breath, justices ignored the murders of mya hall, islan nettles, sumaya ysl. in church, i sing hymns that echo the miraculous resurrection. something that only happens to white men. i would be lying if i did not feel closest to god in these moments. i would also be lying if i said these songs only feel holy because they make me forget i am hopeless sinner without burden of cross. at 16, my mother ripped my closet doors from its hinges, came to me with crucifix splintered hands and said, “you weren’t raised like this”. you’re right mama. i was raised to recognize a white savior. hiding has always been second nature. it is a colonial tactic to simplify vocabulary in order to break the savage into binaries.

PRE COLONIAL

my paternal grandfather was a lutheran, then methodist, then baptist, then muslim, and 20 years before he died, mormon. mixed in with the western gifts of alcoholism, diabetes and heart disease. i think he knew this white god never wanted to save him. i am sitting at the last supper knowing i am both judas and pilate. the lone missionary who knew there was already too much god in my islands to build a colony of churches.

do i break into your museums? take back our war clubs? our tools for cannibalistic ritual? fijians made easy meal of some of your friends, “cishet white allies”. you have never been hard to get rid of. just have a hard time letting go. your “it gets better campaigns” are not welcome here; advocates who 50 years ago erased me. take your xerox copies of our archetypes back, to wherever you came from. we have painted gender spectrums with colors captain cook could have never even perceived fa’afafine, fakaleiti, māhū, whakawahine, takatāpui, qauri. my people have a history of breaking binaries. just like the ocean, my islands will always give refuge to my fluidity.

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PHOTO CREDIT: JESSIKA LAWYER

how do i prove this same god was instilled in me?

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M I K E Y O S T

RAINBOW ALLEY WEIGHS IN ON LABELS, STIGMA, AND THE GENERATION GAP. I’VE FELT IT. I’M SURE SOME OF YOU READING THIS ARTICLE HAVE felt it. As a card-carrying member of “Generation X,” more and more frequently I experience a disconnect between myself and the younger generation. And this detachment isn’t limited to tastes in music or fashion. Some of the struggles I encountered as a gay teenager are strikingly dissimilar from the current challenges the LGBTQ+ youth face today. In an effort to bridge this gap, I took a trip to the Denver GLBT Center on Colfax Avenue and dropped by Rainbow Alley, a safe space created for LGBTQ+ youth from ages 11 to 21. Rainbow Alley provides a number of invaluable services including counseling and support groups, health resources, and movie nights.

PHOTO CREDIT: HEIDI MORGAN

I sat down with Cassian Bertam, Emma Christian, and Xander Fager, asking them to share their experiences and thoughts on the future landscape of LGBTQ+ rights. “Our community has grown quite a bit to encompass more than just lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people,” says 21-year-old Emma, who started going to Rainbow Alley last year and is now the Youth Program Assistant.

Emma emphasizes that the letter Q at the end of LGBTQ+ incorporates a wide range of individuals who identify with new labels — or resist being labeled at all. “Like gender fluid and gender androgynous, I don’t think it was as commonly accepted or well-known back in the day.”

there are some people who just aren’t sure. But it feels like people who are sure of who they are, are in the wrong.”

“The thing with a lot of youth is that they want to label themselves,” adds Xander, 18, who started going to Rainbow Alley over five years ago and now works as the Youth Program Leader. “They don’t like it when people try to force them into boxes.”

And as the younger generation seeks to reevaluate the verbiage we use to define ourselves, many still struggle with the same hate and intolerance experienced by previous generations.

Actress and model Ruby Rose, known for her role as Stella Carlin in Orange is the New Black, has spoken publically about being genderfluid and her resistance to socially assigned male and female roles. Last year, in an interview with Elle, Ruby stated she doesn’t identify with any gender: “I’m not a guy; I don’t really feel like a woman, but obviously I was born one. So, I’m somewhere in the middle, which — in my perfect imagination — is like having the best of both sexes.” But fostering a paradigm shift in how we think about gender has created some concern within the LGBTQ+ youth community on how that dialogue is being pursued. “As a generation, apparently we don’t want these labels,” says Cassian, 21, who has been going to Rainbow Alley since 2012. “There’s so many [labels] out there, it’s starting to create a lot of hate within the community, from what I’ve seen and experienced.” Cassian explains that sometimes there’s pressure for others to abandon labels completely. “There are people within the community who are just a gay man or a lesbian woman, and

Emma adds that labels can potentially be beneficial, and that “they offer some grounding in these ideas or emotions that people are experiencing.”

“Have you ever been to Michigan?” Cassian asks. “Churches there are like 7-11s here — there’s one on every corner. The same religion is across the street.” Cassian grew up both in Colorado and in Flint, Michigan. He was forced to attend church with his grandparents, where “pretty much the word gay was forbidden. It was a sin. Every time you go to a church, that’s pretty much all they talk about.” And the enmity LGBTQ+ youth face in schools is still prevalent today, though it’s conveyed in different ways. “I came out in Aurora in a public school,” says Xander. “It was, I would say, about 80 percent accepting — the other 20 percent were just confused. It wasn’t really hateful speech, it was talking behind your back, not being educated, and not knowing about it or what to think about it.” Emma came out in the Denver Public School system. “There was still this stigma where they accepted you for who you were, but they kind of stayed back a little bit, they were weary to talk to people. There was still, from what I had witnessed, a lot of discomfort and hate for LGBT community.” Emma adds that there’s a wealth of experience and advice she’d like to access from older generations who faced similar

“THE THING WITH A LOT OF YOUTH IS THAT THEY WANT TO LABEL THEMSELVES,” ADDS XANDER, 18, WHO STARTED GOING TO RAINBOW ALLEY OVER FIVE YEARS AGO AND NOW WORKS AS THE YOUTH PROGRAM LEADER. “THEY DON’T LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE TRY TO FORCE THEM INTO BOXES.” animosity. “I would ask how they handled it, because I think there was a lot more hate than acceptance back then.” And now that the US Supreme Court has solidified marriage equality, I asked how LGBTQ+ advocacy groups should move forward. “We have trans people who have a lot of struggles they face,” says Xander. “Trans women of color are murdered all the time, and sometimes it’s not even reported. It’s just a huge mess.” Emma adds that people seem to be obsessed with who is using the restrooms. “I’ve noticed a lot of anti-transgender bills trying to keep transgender people out of the bathroom that they identify with because they are scared for themselves; that transgender people might commit an act of violence or rape.” Just last year, Colorado State Rep. Kim Ransom (R-Littleton) sponsored a bill which would have allowed schools to restrict bathroom and locker room access to students of the same biological sex. The bill failed to pass. “If you’re aware of statistics,” adds Emma, “the transgender person who has to use the biological restroom that they don’t identify with is a lot more susceptible to harm than a cisgender person sharing a restroom with a transgender person.” Cassian, Emma, and Xander provided ways we can all bridge generational rifts — cultivate healthy discourse surrounding the use of labels, open a dialogue with those in the community who have endured and overcome hate, and foster solidarity as we push for more transgender protections.

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J O N E S

WHEN SOUTHERN TREES BEAR GAY FRUIT

THERE’S SOMETHING MENTALLY and spiritually wrong with me. I’m tainted, infected. I’ve got a demon/ spirit in me. My soul will be damned to Hell if I don’t change. These are some of the things I was told and made to believe when my parents learned their son was/is gay. A son they’d raised to believe in God and His word. A son they loved in a way that felt more like psychological abuse. A son who even now still feels like an outcast from his family. I’m sure my experiences are similar to anyone who’s gay and grew up in the South with parents who are deeply involved in the church and raised their children to be soldiers and heralds of The Most High. But I’m sure my experiences are particularly similar to those of other Black gay men who grew up in the South. Being born a Black man in America is difficult enough, but being born a Black gay man in the South who grows up in a devout Christian household is something that feels like a constant four-sided mental and emotional assault from the moment you gain clarity on who you are.

WHAT DO THEY CALL ME?

My parents discovered my sexuality when I was about 14 — they found porn on the computer. It saved me the trouble of having to come out to them, but it also started me down a road of confusion, rage, suicidal thoughts, and mistrust. While I was embarrassed I’d been caught, I felt especially ashamed when I heard my sister retching in the bathroom that night when she learned I had been ... indulging in my “wayward” curiosity. I spent the following years struggling with the idea that there was a defect in my mind and a weakness in my spirit that allowed the “gay demon”

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to possess me. Every time the pastor talked about homosexuality in church I felt as if he were talking directly to me, that he could feel there was something wrong with me and had to speak on it. And then I had a revelation.

READING TOWARD SALVATION

It was reading that pulled me out of my depression and confusion. X-Men comics showed me there’s nothing wrong with being different. Sci-fi and fantasy novels gave me the mental escape and clarity I needed. My natural curiosity showed me worlds of infinite possibilities, ones where I was part of not just one, but several loving and accepting communities where I could be my natural and authentic self. These realizations, coupled with a rebellious stage where I lived my life according to my own rules that defied those of my parents and the church, helped me to realize that your color, parents, region of birth, and sexual orientation do not define you, and they don’t have to dictate the way in which you live your life.

PASS IT ON

To anyone who’s reading this, young or old, and can relate to my struggles, know that you have more power, more control than you realize, no matter how it may seem otherwise. While my upbringing most certainly caused psychological damage and scarring that I’m still dealing with, it also strengthened me. I didn’t choose my race, my parents, or my sexual identity, but I chose how I coped with my circumstances, I chose who I let in my life and who I kept at bay, I chose to “stop listening to the static.” I chose to embrace my Truth when it appeared before me. And I hope you will too.

PHOTO CREDIT: TYLER SHAW

M A H O G A N Y

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A K I V A

10 THINGS YOU DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT DENVER’S RAINBOW ALLEY

RAINBOW ALLEY IS A SUBDIVISION OF the larger GLBT Community Center of Colorado. “The Center,” as it’s known, facilitates Denver’s highly successful PrideFest each year. Rainbow Alley partnered with the Mental Health Center in Denver to create the program Voz Y Corazon (Voice and Heart). The suicideprevention program uses art and community to help teens affected by suicide. Rainbow Alley hosts a two-week summer program called Stepping Out. The program is academic- and career-based in nature, and aims to help guide LGBT teens in the right direction as far as their professional lives go. Rainbow Alley programs are so positively impactful for youth because the programs and activities therein are created by youth members themselves. By embodying a peer-to-peer dynamic — rather than an adult-child one — Rainbow Alley creates a positive space wherein members and visitors can feel welcome. Rainbow Alley considers “youth” to be ages 11–21. Special programs are offered for specific ages such as the True Colors program which

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is for LGBT youth and allies ages 16 and under. Rainbow Alley can set up a staff member from The Center to speak at an organization or business concerning LGBT YOUTH. “Center Talk,” as it’s known, covers the topics of LGBT Youth 101, Gender Spectrums, and Understanding LGBT Youth Obstacles. Furthermore, they offer subjects pertinent to The Center’s transgender program and their SAGE of the Rockies program. Rainbow Alley hosts Denver Health’s Youth Clinic every Wednesday for free HIV and STI testing. The Alley advertises that “Safe is sexy, y’all.” Rainbow Alley travels on a tri-weekly basis to Project Angel Heart, the charity organization that brings meals to Coloradans with chronic and lifethreatening diseases. Trips to Project Angel Heart include cooking classes. Rainbow Alley hosts drop-in hours Tuesdays and Wednesdays from 2pm–7pm, Thursdays and Fridays from 2pm–8pm, and some Saturdays. The drop-in center is located at 1301 E. Colfax Ave in Denver. Rainbow Alley wants you to know that it’s a safe place where they believe in honoring individuality and empowerment!

PHOTO CREDIT: HEIDI MORGAN

FOR THE YOUTH

W E I N S T E I N

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M A R K S E G A L

WHEN I WAS A BOY OF 13, MY grandmother took me to my first civil-rights demonstration to teach me about racism and social justice. She knew those issues well: Our family fled from the pogroms in Russia, others in our family perished in the Holocaust, and Grandmom even fought for women’s rights. On that day, I marched with Cecil B. Moore and Robert N.C. Nix. Five years later, in 1969, I’d be a member of New York’s Gay Liberation Front and, in the name of justice, we’d march with The Black Panthers to free Angela Davis from her arrest and detention, chanting “Hey hey, ho ho, House of D [New York’s Women’s House of Detention] has got to go.” But last week, when I heard LGBT activists at the National LGBTQ Task Force’s Creating Change conference in Chicago using part of that slogan against our own community, it was a sad day. And it sickened me to the pit of my stomach.

MARK MY WORDS

Creating Change is the largest gathering of LGBT activists across the nation. Typically, all issues affecting our communities are discussed, with people being able to agree to disagree with respect. But a major controversy happened this year. And what usually is and should be a place for dialogue became unsafe. This incident was at the very least insincere, and at its worst anti-Semitic. A Wider Bridge, which promotes ties between LGBT Americans and Israel, was scheduled to have a reception at Creating Change. But some conference participants complained about an event featuring a group with ties with Israel. Presto, the Task Force cancelled the event. This led to a debate about anti-Semitism, apartheid, and political correctness. Eventually, conference organizers

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did the right thing and reinstated the session. After all, this conference was about “creating change,” and change occurs with communication. However, the event led opponents of Israel to protest; such protesters essentially urge people to boycott any LGBT event relating to Israel, not due to its LGBT laws, but because of how it treats Palestinians. They use terms like “apartheid” and “racism.” Here’s what they don’t state. While Israel is welcoming to LGBT people, Palestinian law criminalizes homosexuality. If you call the Palestinian Authority at the UN Office and ask about LGBT rights, as I did, you’ll be treated to hang-ups (first call), laughter, and a “Don’t you understand our culture?” question (second call) and finally, “We don’t talk about that.” A fourth call offered a phone number in the Palestinian state for me to call. The protesters want us to support people who laugh at and criminalize us. They don’t explain that LGBT Palestinians escape to Israel for protection. It is so unsafe that the group fighting for Palestinian queer rights is located in Israel. Why? The Hamas-controlled Gaza Strip has declared homosexuality punishable by death. Hamas co-founder Mahmoud al-Zahar has said, “You in the West do not live like human beings. You do not even live like animals. You accept homosexuality. And now you criticize us?” I’ve visited and written about the region on many occasions. In fact, I spent time with the first out LGBT organization in Beirut, writing about lesbian women in Jordan and the oppression in Egypt, among other topics. I know the people on both sides well. I was embraced in Beirut and spit on in Jerusalem.

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THE PROTESTERS WANT US TO SUPPORT PEOPLE WHO LAUGH AT AND CRIMINALIZE US. THEY DON’T EXPLAIN THAT LGBT PALESTINIANS ESCAPE TO ISRAEL FOR PROTECTION. IT IS SO UNSAFE THAT THE GROUP FIGHTING FOR PALESTINIAN QUEER RIGHTS IS LOCATED IN ISRAEL. I was at Creating Change to speak about my just-published memoir, which speaks of my numerous arrests and nickel rides fighting for social justice. In many of the cities on my book tour, a young LGBT person asks, “What can we do today to create activism?” So I appreciate many in that crowd at the protest who were there wanting to do something. Unfortunately, they weren’t given the facts. They were misled into what became an ugly antiSemitic rally. The first question we should ask protest organizers is: If you’re suggesting a boycott of Israel because of non-LGBT issues, why not speak out about Palestine’s antigay laws? Why not explain that many LGBT people have had to escape antigay violence in Palestine? If you were fair, the position should be boycott both, but instead you single out one. And that one place has become a safe haven for LGBT Palestinians. That is anti-Semitism, with a dose of self-hatred. Supporting those who wish LGBT people — us — dead is the definition of self-hatred. The next question to ask protesters is even simpler: Why are you not protesting

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the anti-LGBT position of the Palestinian state? Do you approve of the draconian laws of Putin’s Russia, or those of Uganda? Palestine is equally as, if not more so, antigay as those countries. Then there’s the issue of racism. That same term has been used to describe our country by the “Black Lives Matter” effort. Have you called for an international boycott of the United States? No, you single out one entity: Israel, the Jewish State. Yes, “Jewish.” We all know why Israel was created, as a safe haven for Jews. We also know how Palestinians have fought Israel, at times suggesting it be wiped off the face of the earth, along with its people, the Jews. Yasser Arafat coined that into a slogan: “From the [Jordan] River to the Sea.” To Jews, that slogan represents extermination. Now, imagine being a Jew in a room with 200 people outside banging on the doors yelling that slogan, or wrapping a Palestinian flag over the head of a Jew trying to make his way into the room. That is what happened in Chicago. Windy City Times did a great job of capturing most of the demonstration on video (ow.ly/XByz1).

Many of us would gladly protest Israeli treatment of Palestinians — I myself support a Palestinian state, the socalled “two-state solution” — but that is different than supporting the Palestinian government that wants you put to death if you’re LGBT and live on the Gaza Strip. But trapping Jews in a room yelling what is as close to a death slogan as there is … does that conjure something? Look up “Kristallnacht.” Insensitive at the very least. It’s great to see this generation wanting to protest injustice, but they need to understand the issues and the lessons of our early fight for equality. Fight first for our community’s rights, since if we do not, nobody else will. LGBT Palestinians can’t speak out in their homeland, and your protests only embolden those who keep them from speaking out. The Task Force acknowledged its mishandling of the situation and said it will work to prevent future incidents. While they may have been unprepared, protest organizers are the ones who need to apologize — not just to those in that room who were forced to leave through a back door for safety, but to the entire LGBT community for their insensitivity and for supporting those who support our oppression. The term these individuals use is “pinkwashing.” From this time on, pinkwashing equals self-hating anti-Semites. We members of Gay Liberation Front have varied views on Israel and Palestine, but one thing we would never do is act with such insensitivity and suggest support for those who wish to put LGBT people to death or eradicate an entire race of people. Shame on you! Mark Segal is the nation’s most-awardwinning commentator in LGBT media. His memoir And Then I Danced, Traveling the Road To LGBT Equality, is available online or at your favorite bookseller.

UNITED IN ORANGE A sea of orange flooded Civic Center Park on January 31st as thousands of fans United in Orange to support the Denver Broncos as they headed to Santa Clara, California to face the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50. Photos by Charles Broshous

MARQUEE THE ADDAMS FAMILY A NEW MUSICAL COMEDY Now through February 27, 2016 5501 Arapahoe Ave. • BDTStage.com

OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 37

B R E N T H E I N Z E

CAN WE GET BEHIND OUR LGBT MUSICIANS, TOO?

THERE ARE PARTICULAR THOUGHTS that occur when someone brings up the topic of gay music. For some, it is all about those artists who motivate us to gyrate on dancefloors, while others appreciate the songwriting and social consciousness of some of these musicians. The 70s and 80s brought us a huge variety of amazing gay artists like Sylvester, Michael Stipe, Pet Shop Boys, Boy George, Elton John, Freddie Mercury, Melissa Etheridge, Rob Halford, Indigo Girls, and Village People into the mainstream. Modern pioneers like Fischerspooner, Scissor Sisters, Steve Grand, Martin Sorrondeguy and Cazwell have built on the legacy of these queer artists and gained commercial success. These performers have married their musical talents with an openness of their sexuality in a primarily straight industry. Colorado is fortunate to have a collection of gay musical artists that have entertained our community. Performers like Hotel Radio, GSTV, Damien Dane, Coles Whalen, Sarah & the Meanies, Probe 7, Zack Fay, and Sarah Slaton have provided many opportunities to see live performances and have released many songs and albums. The huge monthly alternative dance night Ominous is co-produced by Sante Suffoletta, Tina Berger (Slave1), and out-and-proud DJ Ritual. It creates an environment where all sexual orientations and gender expressions are welcomed to enjoy an evening of music, dancing, art, and performances. Our local community is full of creative diversity and often shows that they are not afraid to be honest about their sexuality.

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An unexpected ally in gay rights will be playing live in Denver on April Fool’s Day. Leather Strip is one of the most popular bands in industrial music with creator and frontman Claus Larsen proudly being an openly gay man. He has been with his partner for 23 years, got married in Denmark in 1998, and they perform live on stage together. His career is not without brushes with discrimination. They have experienced a fair amount of homophobia from some members of the music community including fans and DJs, but is has not stopped them from continuing to put out extremely popular albums and touring the world. Although not identifying himself as a gay activist, Claus continues to be open about his sexuality through messages in his music and public persona. The Denver-based synthpop band Probe 7, comprised of two gay musicians, Brent Heinze (me!) and Seth Moons, is one of the opening acts for the Leather Strip show. We will be releasing our new album and music video that night at the Oriental Theater with other performances by Ludovico Technique and Voicecoil. The release party starts promptly at 9pm. Pre-sale tickets may be purchased at OminousDenver.com. It is important to encourage our community to search out gay artists who have the courage to live a life out loud and create art in a variety of forms. Support performers that let the rest of the world know that gay people already exist in the entertainment they already enjoy.

DOSE APPAREL FASHION SHOW Dose Apparel, with designer-extraordinaire Crys Shannon at the helm, blazed some punk-rock radness at a high-energy fashion show at Tracks Nightclub on January 29th. The show featured Blondetourage Denver DJs, the Fashion Design Center Denver, The Colorado Color House, ETHK Skateboards, C. Love, and THC Girls. Photos by Charles Broshous

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Barton: Every joke in the show is so cleverly written, and many jokes are subtle enough that you could see the show five times and catch a new joke every time. Grover: It is one of the most clever, imaginative, and hilarious shows I’ve ever seen on stage. It is filled with smart, sarcastic humor and quick-wit. Duran: OMG! This show is so clever and amazingly funny … laugh out loud funny. Beyette: Makes for an unforgettable evening. Is this a play for kids? Grover: It is a family show. Much of the humor is so sarcastic and sophisticated and might fly right over the heads of many little ones, but there are lots of treats for the eyes that our younger audience will really enjoy. Beyette: There is nothing in the show that is inappropriate or scary for kids. Duran: Audience members 10 and above will appreciate everything about it. Barton: It’s a show that focuses on the idea of never wanting to grow up, which is something people of any age can relate to. Sugar: Timeless theater is for everyone.

GET HOOKED!

BOULDER DINNER THEATRE PRESENTS PETER AND THE STARCATCHER Jerry Cunningham THE FASCINATION THAT IS PETER AND THE STARCATCHER MAY garner a few questions from inquisitive minds, so we went straight to director Nick Sugar; producer Michael J. Duran; and cast members Jack Barton (Peter), Sarah Grover (Molly), and Scott Beyette (Black Stache) for help. What is the play about? Duran: It’s the prequel to the story of Peter Pan. Grover: The play, simply put, is about a boy (Peter) and a girl (Molly). More complexly put, it is the story of how Peter Pan became the boy who never grew up and how Captain Hook became the tyrannical pirate we all know and love. Sugar: We all have a place in the world. The story is universal in allowing and encouraging us to go where we are unfamiliar and discover who we really are meant to be! Beyette: This play is to Peter Pan as Wicked is to The Wizard of Oz. Humorist and Pulitzer-winner Dave Barry co-wrote the play. Can we expect lots of laughs from the production? Sugar: Be ready to have a fun ride! This show has tons of laughs!

Peter Pan is, of course, famous for his ability to fly. Will the audience be treated to aerial performances during the show? Beyette: No wires but, if you believe, you will see him fly. Grover: This story, being a prequel, takes place in a time before Peter had his powers and he was just an ordinary boy. Sugar: After taking this magical journey, we will have a greater understanding of how Peter flies and how several other characters came to be! Barton: Considering the caliber of the production/technical staff at BDT Stage, I guarantee there will be no disappointments! Duran: Use your imagination. Can you speak to the types of sets you’ve built and what worlds we can expect to be immersed in as we’re watching? Sugar: This is traditional Story Theater. Open your heart and mind and our company of actors will take you to a beautiful and fantastic world! Beyette: I’m not a part of the production team but the designers at BDT Stage never disappoint. Duran: The set and props add to the improvisational quality of the show. Nothing is literal. Bring your imagination, it will serve you well. Barton: One of my favorite aspects of Peter and the Starcatcher is the minimalistic set that is traditionally used with it, allowing the audience to use their own imaginations to create the world this story lives in. Peter and the Starcatcher is scheduled to make its local theater debut in Boulder at the BDT Stage from March 4–May 14. OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 41

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H E I N ZES I G H T

EMOTIONAL HOARDING Brent Heinze, Senior Columnist MANY OF US ARE FAMILIAR WITH THE concept of hoarding, where someone will refuse to throw particular things away. This obsession slowly takes over their lives and often puts their relationships, health, and safety in jeopardy. Even if we are not a collector of stuff, many times we hold onto old and outdated ways of thinking or things that have hurt us in the past. Although these do not take up physical space, they definitely can clutter our hearts and minds to the point where we risk getting buried alive by them. These heavy, negative aspects in our lives have the potential to crush us in the event that they get piled too high and collapse on us unexpectedly. It also effects our ability to have great relationships. It can happen to us slowly over time and may just start with some seemingly small decisions. We may experience hurt caused by our families, friends, partners, or people who unfortunately just cross our path. Over time, the negativity builds up inside of us and can create many undesirable outcomes including becoming bitter, isolated, powerless, lonely, and unhappy. It can also lead us into volatile relationships, substance abuse, and lower self-esteem. We can get so used to feeling badly that it becomes normal for us and we may not see another way of living our lives. This type of emotional hoarding can overwhelm, but it can also stop us from having room to adopt more effective ways of dealing with people and situations around us. It is important to take some time and recognize that although we do similar things over and over, it may not be the best method for us to become successful. We develop ways to do something based on our abilities at that time. As we progress through our lives, it is important to reevaluate how we face challenges and see if there is a better way to handle it. We may find that we need to change 4 4 F E B R U A R Y 1 7, 2 0 1 6

our tactics or completely dismiss our old ways. Breaking out of a rut can be difficult, but the hard work can cause extremely valuable payoffs. It is important to get rid of ideas and patterns that don’t benefit us to allow for new things to come into our life. Think of this process being like getting ready to donate a bunch of old clothes. Once you decide to go through your closet, identify those things that you have outgrown or are totally ugly and you wonder how they got there in the first place. Bag them up so you can get rid of them to make more room to fill up your closet with things that fit and make you excited to wear. It may bring up feelings of sadness or anxiety to think about changing these long-standing behaviors even if they inevitably cause discomfort in your life. In the past, you may have felt that it was important to hold a grudge against someone or let the fear of rejection impact you so much that going out to socialize would be unimaginable. These are all patterns that we have developed in response to difficult situations or as a way to protect ourselves from perceived harm. They have become not only our normal pattern, but somewhat of a security blanket. It is understandable why someone would not want to get rid of things that we have valued in the past, but there are many things that hurt us more than they help to support or empower us. Take the time to evaluate what is working well to progress you toward a successful future while identifying those things that are holding you back. Work on discarding outdated, unnecessary, and hurtful ways of dealing with challenges and strive to add new patterns and skills that can be beneficial in building positive relationships and healthy self-worth. This process allows us to live more enjoyable and fulfilling lives without the painful burden of our own emotional hoarding.

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H EA LT H

DUELING WITH DEPRESSION: MEDITATE ON THIS Mike Yost I CLOSE MY EYES AND WRAP MY HANDS AROUND A SET OF headphones secured tightly around my head. I listen to the singing of birds and the relaxing rush of a mountain stream, visualizing the running water as it’s gently meandering its way around a few steadfast boulders. Then a female’s voice begins to speak, asking me (very politely) to place my palms on my thighs and focus on the sensation of my back against the chair. “Let any tension dissolve away,” she says when I suddenly remember I need to renew the tags for my truck by the end of the week. “Become mindful of your own breathing.” Crap! I have to get an emissions test, first. Where the hell is that place? “Focus on your hands and your feet.” And what’s the deadline for my next article? “Now focus on your entire body.” Crap! The damn deadline’s tomorrow, isn’t it? I should get started right away. “You are alive and present in the moment.” How much longer does this lady ramble on about meditation? This happens almost every time. My brain refuses to shut off, no matter how politely the nice lady asks it. And when depression is suffocating my mind with its tentacles, the very nice lady’s voice is drowned out by a blitzkrieg of existential dread: Your article’s going to suck. No one really loves you. Suicide would fix all your problems. What’s more frustrating is that I’m told over and over that meditation is not only helpful, but a cure for depression. What!? There’s an actual cure!? Meditation is the vaccine to this life-crippling, mental-health crisis that kills over 42,700 Americans every year?! That’s almost five suicides an hour we could stop with the nice lady’s voice! Someone call the Pope, it’s a miracle! 4 6 F E B R U A R Y 1 7, 2 0 1 6

Such grandiose claims smack of subterfuge. I’ve mentioned before I’m a bit of a skeptic, adhering to the maxim made famous by the late Carl Sagan: “Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.” (We miss you, Carl.) That’s not to say there isn’t scientific evidence supporting the more nuanced claim that meditation is effective in bolstering mental health. The Journal of the American Medical Association published a paper in 2014 examining the results of 47 different meditation trials with over 3,500 participants who suffered from anxiety and/or depression. “Clinicians should be aware that meditation programs can result in small to moderate reductions of multiple negative dimensions of psychological stress,” the study reads. However, the article acknowledges the potential biases of the participants and adds that there’s no evidence to support any claim that mediation works better than other treatments such as anti-depressants or exercise. Regardless, it’s encouraging to hear that for some, meditation can be just as effective as medication — without those pesky side effects. And there are plenty of websites that offer free, guided meditation — without those pesky demands for money in exchange for fabricated happiness (that’s what alcohol is for). And I’m willing to admit that meditation is a skill I need to sharpen in order to slice away those tentacles of depression so deeply embedded in my brain. Practice makes perfect, right? I’ll push aside my own trepidations and give meditation another try. “Let any tension dissolve away.” Crap! I need to finish this damn article before the deadline.

OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 47

O U T BAC K CLASSIFIEDS Envisioned by Boberto

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ASK A SLUT [WARNING: GRAPHIC]

What was the worst gift you’ve ever received and what did you do with it? Signed, I GOT A ROCK Zoey: Someone once gave me a chastity belt. I donated it to a leather group as a chew toy for the “pups.”

Latexa: Believe it or not, the worst gift I ever got

Cookie: If you’re looking for true love, eHarmony is the place. No, how about FarmersOnly.com? Christian mingle? Your local neighborhood grocery store? Alright, the real answer is: Open up your own moving company. I hear that always works with lesbians.

JackLynn: You want a great date? February 18th, it’s my birthday. You want love, get a puppy.

is kind of cool. My mother actually FedEx’d me a real lump of coal. I didn’t do anything with it but for Mother’s Day I did send her a wire hanger and a copy of Mommy Dearest — C.O.D no less.

What’s the best way to get over the awkward part of sleeping with somebody new? Signed, (BTW WHAT WAS YOUR NAME AGAIN?)

JackLynn: I received a gift certificate to a restaurant.

Zoey: I don’t understand what you mean by

They know damn well that I’m on a diet. Do us a favor though: Pay attention to the people you love. Get them what they need, not what you think they need. (Hint: Penicillin helps with syphilis.)

awkward. Do you mean awkward as in you find the gun under the pillow? The cage in the basement? The newspaper clippings about missing men in the neighborhood? Or awkward as in the “getting to know you” stage? Try having a few drinks.

I’m a lesbian and a drag king who’s having trouble finding love. Where can I find a great date? Signed, LOOKING FOR LOVE IN ALL THE WRONG

PLACES

Zoey: I found the dates at Sprouts are the most reasonable in pricing and freshness. I guess a date-scented vaj could be be a turn on. Have you tried saying hello to other lesbians?

Latexa: You can find a great date anywhere! You have to lower your standards, though. Also, do you want a bar slut, cyber slut, gym bunny, or your standard Home Depot lesbian? That’s where I would start. 5 0 F E B R U A R Y 1 7, 2 0 1 6

Latexa: Yet again I don’t think I’m the best person to answer this — I sleep with new people almost on a daily basis. But! You re-introduce yourselves, get naked again, have fun again, and say thank you again.

Cookie: Hell, I haven’t been able to remember anybody’s name since the day I was born. (“Hey, you! What’s up? Oh, my god, it’s good to see you again.”) I’ve gone years without saying anybody’s name, and when they call me out on it it, I just turn to my partner and say in a whisper, “What is their name?” Besides what’s in a name?

JackLynn: Sleeping. (Were you really sleeping?) I just kick ’em out when I’m done with ’em.