SEPTEMBER 16, 2015 | OUTFRONTONLINE .COM | FREE
O U T F R O N T O N L I N E . C O M 3
CONTENTS SEPTEMBER 16, 2015 VOL39 NO12
24
06 DENVER COMMITTED TO ENDING THE AIDS EPIDEMIC BY 2030 10 GETTING UP THE MOUNTAIN: 4 WHIPS FOR SUMMER 12 BIZARRE DEATH PUZZLES POLICE 36 YEARS LATER 16 TOP 10 GAY RELATIONSHIP MISCONCEPTIONS
FASHION
46
18 JUST THE ESSENTIALS
22
22 THE LAYERED LOOK
VICES 24 PICK YOUR POISON 28 RIGHT TO THE CATCH 32 THE NEED TO UNPLUG 38 CALENDAR 44 BAR TAB 50 BACKWORDS
ON THE COVER
Photography: Paul Wedlake Photography; Art Direction: Trisha Himmler; Hair/Makeup: Fluff Bar, Denver; Men’s Clothing: Sully & Co, Denver; Women’s Clothing/Styling: Goldyn, Denver; Location: Lannie’s Clocktower Cabaret, Denver
18 4 SEPTEMBER 16, 2015
SERVING THE LGBT COMMUNITY OF THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS SINCE 1976 3535 Walnut Street, Denver, Colorado 80205 PHONE 303-477-4000 • FAX 303-325-2642 WEB OutFrontOnline.com • FACEBOOK /OutFrontColorado TWITTER @OutFrontCO • INSTAGRAM /OutFrontColorado FOUNDER PHIL PRICE 1954-1993 ADMINISTRATION info@outfrontonline.com JERRY CUNNINGHAM Publisher J.C. MCDONALD Vice President MAGGIE PHILLIPS Operations Manager JEFF JACKSON SWAIM Chief Strategist EDITORIAL editorial@outfrontonline.com BERLIN SYLVESTRE Editor BRENT HEINZE Senior Columnist CAITLIN GALIZ-ROWE Intern CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Anonymous, Fiona Ansbury, Daniela Costa, Kelsey Lindsey, Jonathan McGrew, Nadia Rogers, Mike Yost, The Cycle Sluts ART art@outfrontonline.com TRISHA HIMMLER Art Director CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS & PHOTOGRAPHERS Charles Broshous MARKETING & SALES marketing@outfrontonline.com DUSTIN KRIER Director of Sales & Marketing JORDAN JACOBS Senior Marketing Executive TOPHER LA FLEUR Marketing Executive CURTIS STAFFORD Marketing Executive NATIONAL ADVERTISING Rivendell Media 212-242-6863 | sales@rivendellmedia.com DISTRIBUTION Out Front’s print publication is available semi-monthly, free of charge in Colorado, one copy per person. Additional copies of Out Front may be purchased for $3.95 each, payable in advance at Out Front offices located at 3535 Walnut Street, Denver CO, 80205. Out Front is delivered only to authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of Out Front, take more than one copy of Out Front. Any person who takes more than one copy may be held liable for theft, including but not limited to civil damages and or criminal prosecution.
COPYRIGHT & LIMIT OF LIABILITY Reproduction of editorial, photographic or advertising content without written consent of the publisher is strictly prohibited. Advertisers are responsible for securing rights to any copyrighted material within their advertisements. Publisher assumes no responsibility for the claims of advertisers and reserves the right to reject any advertising. Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization in articles or advertising is not to be considered an indication of the sexual orientation or HIV status of such person or organization. Publisher assumes no responsibility for the loss or damage of materials submitted. OPINIONS EXPRESSED are not necessarily those of OUT FRONT, its staff, or advertisers.
RESERVATION OF RIGHTS Q Publishing Group, LTD is the owner of all right, title, and interest in the OUT FRONT brand and logo. No person or entity may reproduce or use (or authorize the reproduction or use of) the OUT FRONT brand and logo in any manner other than expressly authorized by Q Publishing Group. Unauthorized use of the OUT FRONT brand and logo is strictly prohibited. Out Front is published by Q Publishing, Ltd., a Colorado corporation and is a member of: NEPA, Denver Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, and Denver Drama Critics Circle.
O U T F R O N T O N L I N E . C O M 5
N EWS
DENVER COMMITTED TO ENDING THE AIDS EPIDEMIC BY 2030 AUG. 15 MARKED A PROUD day in Denver’s history — it
was the day the city signed the Paris Declaration and, in doing so, joined the Fast-Track Cities Initiative. What is the significance of this? Well, it means Denver has committed itself to ending the AIDS epidemic by 2030. It may sound ambitious, but of the more than 200 cities signed on to the initiative, Denver is one of the most well-positioned to succeed. Daniela Costa “If any city in the world can do and will do it, it’s Denver,” says Benjamin Young MD, the senior vice president and chief medical officer of the International Association of Providers of AIDS Care (IAPAC). IAPAC is one of four key partner organizations in this initiative, the other three being the city of Paris, the Joint United Nations Programme on HIV/AIDS (UNAIDS), and the United Nations Human Settlements Programme (UN-Habitat). To reach the 2030 goal, the initiative has gone ahead with a 90-90-90 targets plan, which aims for 90 percent of people living with HIV knowing their HIV status; 90 percent of people who know their HIV-positive status being on HIV treatment; and keeping 90 6 SEPTEMBER 16, 2015
percent of people on treatment with suppressed viral loads. All of this by 2020. The initiative also calls for an end to discrimination, including stigma. “Denver is very close to achieving these 2020 targets,” says Young. Sarah Rowan MD is the interim director of HIV and Viral Hepatitis Prevention with Denver Public Health (DPH), and she backs Young’s claims. She is steering the citywide effort to measure the data for the 90-90-90 targets, as well as playing an important role in testing, treatment, and prevention. According to Rowan, the Denver Metro area (Denver, Adams, Arapahoe, Douglas, and Jefferson County) has already reached the 90 percent point when it
“Without working towards decreasing stigma, it makes it a lot more difficult to think about truly ending the epidemic.” — Sarah Rowan, MD comes to diagnosis. Even conservative estimates point to no fewer than 86 percent. “Denver has come a long way in reaching previously undiagnosed persons,” she says, while advancing that DPH is still trying to identify ways of targeting the remaining 10 percent. The second target presents the biggest obstacle. Of those in the Denver Metro area that know they are HIV-positive, about 74 to 80 percent are in care (though not necessarily on medication). Rowan says DPH is trying to develop tools to close what, on the surface, appears to be a small gap. “It will be a challenge.” Fortunately, due to a change in guidelines, Denver is well on track to reach the third target. About 82 percent of people in care have suppressed viral loads in the Denver Metro area. The reported numbers should increase in the near future, as DPH expects everyone who is HIV-positive to be in treatment. “We can certainly get to that last 90 as well. I think that’s definitely attainable in the next five years.” Young, who has been a frontline HIV clinician in Denver since 1995 and currently takes care of people with HIV at Denver’s APEX Family Medicine, agrees. “It’s really not an issue of whether this is
C O N T I N U E D O N PA G E 0 8
SAME-SEX COUPLE TAKES THE CAKE On August 13, the Colorado Court of Appeals announced its long-awaited decision in Craig v. Masterpiece Cakeshop, ruling that a Colorado bakery could not cite religious beliefs as the reason to refuse to bake a wedding cake for a same-sex couple. Back in 2012, Charlie Craig and David Mullens were planning their marriage in Massachusetts, and a celebration with family and friends in Colorado. They asked Jack Phillips, owner of Masterpiece Cakeshop, to bake them a wedding case. However, their seemingly simple request was rejected by Mr. Phillips, who refused to bake a wedding cake for a same-sex couple due to his religious convictions. Mr. Craig and Mr. Mullens filed a complaint with the Colorado Civil Rights Divisions, and an Administrative Judge for the commissions agreed with them that Masterpiece Cakeshop had improperly discriminated against them. Masterpiece then took the case to the Colorado Court of Appeals. In ruling in favor of Mr. Craig and Mr. Mullens, the Colorado Court of Appeals relied on the seminal US Supreme Court case of Obergefell v. Hodges, which granted same-sex couples the right just a few months earlier. Quoting the
Obergefell case, the Colorado Court of Appeals held that “The nature of marriage is that, through its enduring bond, two persons together can find other freedoms, such as expression, intimacy and spirituality. This is true for all persons, whatever their sexual orientation.” It therefore appears that the Obergefell decision created a clear path for the Colorado Court of Appeals to prohibit the discrimination of a same-sex couple. The Colorado Court of Appeals further shot down Mr. Phillips’ argument that his rights to exercise free speech and religion allowed him to discriminate against a same-sex couple. The Court determined that “the act of designing and selling a wedding cake to all customers free of discrimination does not convey a message about same sex weddings likely to be understood by those that view it.” The summer of 2015 will long be remembered for the landmark legal victories that same-sex couples achieved, both nationally and here in Colorado. Bloch & Chapleau is a full service law firm that represents clients in domestic, criminal, personal injury, and civil matters. One of the first firms in Denver to represent same-sex couples in marriage and civil union matters, including divorce and pre-nuptial agreements, call Bloch & Chapleau today to schedule a consultation.
LEGAL DIRECTORY BACHUS & SCHANKER, LLC
866-277-6711 • ColoradoLaw.net 1899 Wynkoop St., Suite 700, Denver Personal Injury • Auto Accidents Worker’s Comp • Wage Disputes
BLOCH & CHAPLEAU, LLC
303-331-1700 • BlochChapleau.com 1725 Gaylord St., Denver Family Law • Civil Union Dissolutions Pre-Union Agreements • Auto Accidents
LAW OFFICE OF LISA E. FRAZER, LLC
303-861-7717 • FrazerFamilyLaw.com 936 E. 18th Ave, Denver Family Law/Civil Unions • Divorce Child Custody
LAW OFFICE OF BYRON K. HAMMOND, LLC
303-501-1812 • BKH-Law.com 3900 E. Mexico Ave., Denver Wills • Trusts • Estate Planning Probate • Elder Law
WOODY LAW FIRM, LLC
303-968-1711 • WoodyLawLLC.com 1407 Larmier St., Suite 300, Denver Dissolution of Civil Unions/Marriage Legal Separation • 2nd Parent Adoption
The opinions expressed in this article are general in nature. For specific legal advice about your particular situation, please contact an attorney.
outfrontonline.com/legal-directory | To advertise here, please call 303-477-4000.
O U T F R O N T O N L I N E . C O M 7
feasible — it’s an issue of whether there is sufficient imagination and courage to demand that these things happen.” In light of signing the Paris Declaration, Denver’s answer appears to be “yes” on both counts. “That signature was symbolic of the community organizations and the individuals that support those organizations strongly committing to ending the epidemic in our community, and doing so on a real timeline.” The hows are incredibly important here, and they’re already coming together.
communities. What’s more, they’re also aiming their marketing efforts at encouraging those who are HIV-positive to take their medications because, “when people are on HIV meds they are much less likely to transmit.”
As for getting people into care, she says frontline workers have been successful in that regard. But keeping them there is another story. “Staying in care is our biggest challenge,” she admits. Using surveillance tools to “ Some of the best promote retention is a possibility DPH is economic models looking into.
suggest that when With regards to Earlier this year DPH you put people on work around viral l au n c h e d D e nve r suppression, Rowan Bring It Up, a public treatment, you actually says the contributions information campaign save healthcare of pharmacists and that addresses stigma. It focuses on testing, systems’ money.” HIV clinics have been invaluable, and that considering pre— Benjamin Young, MD the positive results are exposure prophylaxis evident. “We know that (PrEP), getting on the medications are highly effective.” treatment, and more. Reducing discrimination is a big component of Of course there are those that will the Fast-Track Cities Initiative because undoubtedly claim that the goals of the unlikelihood that those who outlined in this initiative are too costly. have experienced stigma will enter Not so, says Young. the healthcare system to get tested or “Some of the best economic models suggest to seek treatment. that when you put people on treatment, “Without working towards decreasing you actually save healthcare systems’ stigma it makes it a lot more difficult to money,” he says. “It’s actually cost-effective think about truly ending the epidemic,” to treat people in the long run.” says Rowan. To that end, DPH set up As far as resources go, he believes the a pledge page at DenverHealth.org/ government can find them. “The US EndAids where people can support the spent two trillion dollars in Afghanistan 90-90-90 initiative. and Iraq. And those are different kinds DPH also plans to expand testing of dollars and such, but that’s the kind sites and to get into harder to reach of money that eradicates or treats
TINA
Tina is the perfect household companion! She loves treats, attention, and car rides! According to her previous owner, Tina enjoys sitting in laps and has done well with other dogs. She can be a little shy at first and would do best in a loving home with children over the age of 6. Come meet her soon!
8 SEPTEMBER 16, 2015
everybody with HIV for centuries.” The human cost is far greater, with an average of 4000 people dying everyday around the world from HIV-related causes. Young demands our outrage. “At the height of the Nazi Holocaust, 4000 people died in ovens in Auschwitz. So metaphorically, we are witness to an Auschwitz everyday.” On a local level, according to a city surveillance report there were 132 new cases of HIV in Denver County in 2013, this compared to 148 in 2012 and 157 in 2011. So with numbers already on the decline and those 90-90-90 targets almost entirely reached, why sign the Paris Declaration? “To get all the stakeholders together with the same set of goals is really helpful to us,” explains Rowan. Denver signing on means support for DPH’s new programs and approaches, and a wider reach in terms of HIV programming, as DPH doesn’t provide all the care or testing in the city. As for IAPAC’s role, she believes they’ll be helpful in “getting information out to the general public.” In 2030, HIV and AIDS will still exist. Total eradication is seemingly impossible. But if IAPAC, DPH, and their partners have it their way, the AIDS epidemic will certainly be a tragedy of the past. “The initiative is about ending epidemics,” says Young. “I believe that that’s entirely achievable.”
r 19th TM – Septembe Wag ’n Trail ith joy hiking w thusiasts en pen Space Outdoor en O rm Fa e al Glend . their dogs at 8am to noon le Rock from rn ea to ns north of Cast tio collect dona e scenic Participants trance to th en in ga d vendors, , prizes an ts en l. Refreshm ai tr round ile -m ns 1.6 ratio ric demonst . er is ra and dog-cent nd fu ll lar fa out this popu
St 80 S. Quebec DDFL.org | 20 72 57 (303) 751-
O U T F R O N T O N L I N E . C O M 9
AU TO
GETTING UP THE MOUNTAIN: 4 WHIPS FOR SUMMER SUMMER IS A TIME WHEN we look to get out on the open road, see some sights, and recharge. Let’s face it — we like our wheels here in America. It’s about freedom, individuality, and tradition.
Jonathan McGrew In Colorado, many think of the mountains as a winter destination for skiing and the whole gang of winter sports. However, our mountains also come alive in the summer with hiking trails, horseback riding, camping, mountain climbing, the list goes on. So what cool wheels can take you there? Consider these four 2015 model year whips.
Audi Allroad (MSRP $48,325)
Cool is the name of the game in this Audi. It has aluminum accents, higher ground clearance, and takes the wagon body style from frumpy to head turning. With all the creature comforts of leather, heated seats, navigation, and a 3G hotspot, the Allroad can take you where you want to go — and off road too with several inches of additional ground clearance over an A4 and the intelligent Quattro all-wheel drive system. There are some usability quirks, but on the whole this is one wagon that doesn’t disappoint. And make sure you check out the impressive panoramic sunroof option. 10 SEPTEMBER 16, 2015
BMW X4 (MSRP $62,550)
On the ritzier side, the X4 is the latest redesign in the BMW Crossover stable. It takes the lines of the X6 and brings it down to a more personal and manageable size. Style and speed with enough room for four people (and a fair amount of luggage) is the name of its game. With a hefty price tag to consider, the X4 xDrive35i is equipped with the powerful TwinPower Turbo engine, allwheel drive, and a precision driving experience not found in many CUVs. However, with the M-Sport package on my test vehicle, you might want to reconsider before doing too many offthe-beaten-path excursions unless you like to have your M Sport rims repaired regularly. In other words, this one is made for the paved twisties.
Charger SXT Plus AWD Rallye (MSRP $38,475)
Refreshed for 2015, the Charger has a new front and back design that is a significant departure from the outgoing
2014 model year. If you like the new look, the Charger is one of the few large-body, four-door sedans left that will get you and four of your friends up the mountain in comfort and style. Need to seat five? You can do that without whining from the backseat. The Rallye package gives you blacked-out trim and a pretty sinister appearance. The best features of the Charger SXT Plus are the fuel-efficient Pentastar V6 (27 mpg highway with AWD) and the UConnect infotainment system paired with the Beats audio and 3G hotspot. We are still sad that you can’t get the HEMI AWD in 2015 and beyond though.
Hyundai Sonata Sport 2.0T (MSRP $34,435)
The Sonata has seen a significant redesign for 2015 giving it a more muscular presence from the front, while keeping to the coupe-like roofline of the previous generation. The Sport 2.0T offers you turbocharged power coming from an efficient four-cylinder engine. While horsepower and 0–60 times are down from the 2014 model year, the improvements to the exterior design, interior layout, and materials make this a fun and very roomy sports-inspired sedan. You will definitely want to note the additional inch of leg room for rear passengers — paired with the panoramic sunroof, it truly gives the Sonata a limolike experience from the back seat.
OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 11
CO L D CAS E
BIZARRE DEATH PUZZLES POLICE 36 YEARS LATER IN JANUARY OF 1979, CLYDE Peterman moved to
Grand Junction for a fresh start. An openly gay man who struggled with addiction, Clyde worked to get his life back on track, attending the local alcohol treatment facility known as Bridge House. Mike Yost After being fired from his previous job in Wisconsin, Clyde held down steady employment as the janitor of a local hotel. He even moved his way up to running the cleaning crew he was part of in only a few months. During his free time, Clyde kept to himself, reading books in his modest, one-bedroom apartment at 246 Belford Avenue. But when Clyde didn’t show up for his shift on March 19, 1979, his boss at the hotel became worried. After calling Clyde with no answer, his boss drove to the apartment complex to check up on his employee. There was no answer at Unit 6 where Clyde lived. The apartment door was locked.
one of those bizarre crime scenes,” said Stogsdill. “We don’t know specifically what caused the trauma to his head.” Despite the severity of the wounds, the cuts, and the blood found throughout the apartment, Stogsdill stated that Clyde’s injuries could have been self-inflicted.
lyde was found C dead in his bathtub, partially clothed and covered in blood. He was 45.
“We have to look at the possibility that this could have been an accident that looks really suspicious based on his intoxication level at the time.” But there are additional details that make this cold case even more unusual. The apartment was locked from the inside. There were no signs of forced entry. Nothing was missing. The last time anyone saw Clyde was the day before when he entered his apartment.
“The boss was able to contact the landlord, and the landlord provided Clyde’s boss with a key so he could check on Clyde,” said Detective Julie Stogsdill of the Grand Junction Police Department. “Then he found the body.”
The complex itself had restricted access and consisted of 25 units which faced inward toward a courtyard. Yet no one, including those who lived next to Clyde, reported that they heard a struggle, screams, or anything suspicious.
Clyde was found dead in his bathtub, partially clothed and covered in blood. There was also blood in other areas of the small apartment. There were multiple cuts on his body, and he suffered blunt-force trauma to the head, which a coroner would later confirm was the decisive cause of death.
“You would think that if this was indeed someone breaking into his apartment to kill him,” said Stogsdill, “with the neighbors and how close they are, that there should have been something in the report that they heard anything.”
Clyde was 45. For the last 36 years, Clyde’s case has gone unsolved. “It was 12 SEPTEMBER 16, 2015
Clyde did have an ex-roommate who moved out only days before, but the roommate was in Kansas at the time of the incident, according to an alibi that police later confirmed.
Last year, the Grand Junction Police Department reopened a handful of cold cases, including Clyde’s death. “We went back and looked at all the evidence obtained at the time,” said Stogsdill. “We submitted evidence we thought might be usable to CBI (Colorado Bureau of Investigation) and had them process for DNA.” Back in 1979, a large amount of DNA evidence (such as blood) was required to obtain a positive identification on an individual. But now, only a small portion is required. Unfortunately, CBI is currently backlogged and has not returned with the analysis of the blood from Clyde’s case. There was a set of fingerprints found in the apartment that did not belong to Clyde. When CBI processed the prints, there were no matches. Stogsdill stated the prints could belong to someone who was never arrested or is already deceased.
worked as a librarian at the local college, surrounded by the books he loved to read. When Clyde lost his job, his sister and mother (mother now deceased) tried to get him some help. Det. Stogsdill indicated that Clyde may have tried to commit suicide at one point, but this information could not be verified. Clyde was, however, admitted to a mental institution in Janesville, Wisconsin in October of 1978.
CBI is currently backlogged and has not returned with the analysis of the blood from Clyde’s case.
Even if the owner of the prints is found, that doesn’t mean a guilty suspect has been identified. “The prints could have been anybody who was in his apartment at any given time, and not necessarily anybody that caused him any harm.” For now, Stogsdill is waiting on the results of the blood evidence from CBI. “There may be some luck in the DNA processing, there may not be. We’re kind of in a hold pattern.” There is the possibility that Clyde’s death was the result of a hate crime. The Daily Sentinel in Grand Junction reported that some people had a problem with “his lifestyle.” But while Stogsdill stated it’s possible Clyde’s death was related to him being gay, “we don’t know that. They went through the line of suspects and eliminated the individuals close to him at that time.” Born in 1933, Clyde grew up in Beloit, Wisconsin where he
He was then to report to a halfway house in Madison, Wisconsin, but Clyde never arrived. Instead he surfaced in Colorado, choosing Grand Junction as the place to put his life back together — an opportunity he never got the chance to fully realize.
Stogsdill is hopeful she’ll make progress with the reopened cold case, asking anyone who was a part of the original investigation in 1979 to come forward. “I’d like to make sure that I hear from people who provided information in the past, so I can look through and make sure the information is documented and do as thorough of a job as possible based on the information we have.” Stogsdill added: “Don’t assume that we know everything or that all the questions were asked in the first investigation that was conducted.”
If you have any information regarding this case, contact Detective Julie Stogsdill of the Grand Junction Police Department at 970-549-5231 or at JulieS@ci.GrandJCT.co.us
OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 13
KINK FOR A CAUSE THE EXILE 4 FETISH BALL exploded at the Exdo Event Center and delivered more mischief than ever before. The event featured some of Colorado’s finest performers, vendors, and participants. Each year, hundreds of people come together in celebration of the fetish, kink, and leather communities. All performers and support staff volunteered their time and talents to make this event happen. Brent Heinze The Colorado non-profit company Lokusdor Productions creates events like these with a community-engagement focus and a fundraising mission. In the past two years, they have donated more than $26,000 to local and national charitable organizations while promoting their mission of sex-positive messaging for everyone regardless of sexual orientation or gender expression. Through their efforts, a total of $10,000 was donated from this year’s event. This year, their beneficiaries included Leather Magick, Leather Archives & Museum, Denver boys and girls of Leather, and the Gender Identity Center of Colorado. Through sponsorships provided by Romantix, Bear Things, Folsom Street Events, Mr. S Leathers, Out Front, Exdo Events Center, Pleasures at the Park, Denver Eagle, and Thunder in the Mountains, all funds raised that evening went directly to the supported organizations providing advocacy and support for communities in need. The Exile 4 Fetish Ball series has featured past performances including rope bondage, fire, impact play, wax, boot worship, hook and rope suspensions, burlesque, domination, aerial erotica, and rubber inflatables. This year, they added some amazing new performances to entice the audience and whip them into a frenzy. Offerings from Denver Bound, Femmes Verbose, Tyger Yoshi, Kaleidoscope Circus Arts, Domina Elle, Justin Daniels, High Flydelity, Nadja, Jill Scot, Faded Freakshow, Master Rex, Kougar DeVille, Pearl Derriere, Mythica von Griffyn, and many others made this event an entertaining way to spend an evening around a great group of people. The annual event is geared for everyone from those curious about kink to individuals who are quite experienced in the pleasure of fetish play. Participants witness a sea of leather guys, kinky women, furry bears, goths, punks, gender-neutral and fluid individuals, gay, straight, pan, puppies, kitties, ponies, piggies, and a variety of people that defy inclusion in a single group. For more information about the production company, or how to get involved, visit LokusdorProductions.com. 14 SEPTEMBER 16, 2015
OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 15
H E I N ZES I G H T NON-MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIPS HAVE LESS OF A CHANCE OF LONG-TERM SUCCESS Not all open relationships are destined to fail, just as not all monogamous ones are destined to get boring. It comes down to finding others who share important core beliefs and hopes for the future. Commonalities bond us together while honesty builds trust in any relationship, regardless of its structure.
TOP 10 GAY RELATIONSHIP MISCONCEPTIONS SOMETIMES GAY MYTHS AND MISCONCEPTIONS may initially seem true, but take the time to look at your own beliefs about them and how they may negatively impact your motivation to find great connections. Brent Heinze, Senior Columnist
IT’S ALWAYS ABOUT SEX Not all of us are c*ck-hungry sluts on the constant hunt to get off. As sexual beings, there is also nothing wrong with acknowledging when someone turns us on or we want to explore parts of their bodies.
MY PARTNER WON’T UNDERSTAND Don’t use this as an excuse to cheat on someone or avoid talking about something difficult or uncomfortable. It’s more important to have effective communication and honest agreements about what each person wants. Taking the time and effort to have tough conversations is important to the strengthening and continued success of relationships.
ONLINE DATING SITES, PHONE APPLICATIONS, AND HOOKUP SITES ARE A WASTE OF TIME Unfortunately, there are times where it absolutely feels like this, but all of these methods provide the potential to meet someone worthwhile. Work on 16 SEPTEMBER 16, 2015
using these technologies to provide some introductory opportunities and move into actually meeting in person for some real interaction.
SEX IS EASY TO FIND, BUT MEANINGFUL CONNECTIONS ARE DIFFICULT The connections we make throughout our lives are fantastic regardless of how they are initiated or built upon. Relationships can grow through getting to know someone during a walk around a museum, chatting on a dinner date, or curled up watching a movie after throwing each other around and getting sticky together. Regardless, work on getting to know people beyond a surface level.
GAY MEN DON’T GROW UP Even Peter Pan had moments of being responsible and looking to the future. Although some of us seem to be stuck in a perpetual party cycle, hopefully we’re taking time to build the stable structure for a successful life while having tons of fun along the way.
GAY MEN AREN’T CAPABLE OF BEING FAITHFUL It’s extremely important to have rules in place and for all parties involved agree to follow them. And remember: Agreements are only as good as the integrity of those purporting to follow them.
GOOD RELATIONSHIPS ARE EXTREMELY HARD TO FIND Maybe finding that magical combination of qualities that motivates us to fall in love is rare, but fortunately great connections come in many forms. Having great friends and support systems are incredibly important to building a happy life.
NOTHING BUT RANDOM SEX CAN FOUND ONLINE Having online profiles and chatting with people only supports efforts to make some type of initial contact with someone. What you do with that connection is up to the participants. Meet someone for something other than screwing if that supports your desires. Make sure you offer enough information about what you want.
THERE IS NO ONE OUT THERE FOR ME Your attitude has a profound impact on the ability to achieve anything. Creating a relationship with someone encompasses many things including finding compatibility with interests, long-term plans, handling conflict, celebrating successes, enjoying time together, and facing life’s challenges. Sometimes, it’s more about keeping your eyes open paired with a positive attitude that keeps you motivated to continue meeting people for great connections.
OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 17
Let’s talk wardrobe shop, because sometimes you
FASHION F O R M E N
overlook the basic elements when you hit the boutiques for a fall makeover. Let’s create a foundation you can build upon for the main three areas of your busy schedule, you busy thing.
J US T T HE E SSEN T I A L S
Play by Day Dark-wash jeans Why dark wash? Because it’s a touch dressier than the lighter varieties and lends better to a splash of color you might adorn in the top portion of your ensemble. Patterned button-up Wear a solid tank-top under it and leave it open, or button it up — either way, it’s a staple in the daytime playbook of threads. Just make sure you roll your sleeves up with symmetry and a good fold in mind when you show off those gorgeous forearms of yours. A classic pullover If you need to run some errands or step out for coffee with an old friend, nothing’s easier than one of these bad boys.
Work It Solid button-up This is almost a no-brainer, which is why it’s often forgotten. Be careful of your color choices, though — don’t get too loud. (It’s just tacky for a profesh enviro.) If you’re going for pattern, think something more subdued that won’t fight with a good tie.
18 SEPTEMBER 16, 2015
TICKETS: (303) 449-6000 www.BDTStage.com Follow us on
OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 19
FASHION
F O R M E N JUS T THE E SSENTIAL S
Blazer These are a must. Make sure your blazer isn’t too long or too short. If you can’t see your belt from the side when you raise your arms, it’s probably too long. Also be sure the shoulders aren’t bunched. The best option is to buy off the rack and have it adjusted by a tailor.
The “Sometimes, Always, Never” 3-Button Rule Top Button: Sometimes If you wish to button the top, then make sure the middle is buttoned. Middle Button: Always If you’re wearing a threebutton jacket, you should always have the middle button done. Even if the top is not buttoned. Bottom Button: Never You should never button the bottom. Not if the middle is buttoned, not if the top is. Never, capiche?
20 SEPTEMBER 16, 2015
Dress pants Vague, right? Basically anything that isn’t jeans or cargo-khakis can be done right as a dress pant. Go for a more classic fit in colors that are easy to match. (Black, blue, and grey are essentials.) But read our lips: No pleats.
CELEBRATE ORDINARY
PEOPLE WHO DO
EXTRAODINARY THINGS FEATURING: DINNER
+ DESSERT BAR
POWER PARTY 4th annual
LIVE
ENTERTAINMENT SILENT
AUCTION (BENEFITING THE CENTER)
HOSTED BY
MIKE + CINDY NELSON (FROM 7 NEWS)
SILENT AUCTION & EVENT TO BENEFIT THE CENTER
OCTOBER 3, 2015 | 6PM | EXDO EVENT CENTER
OU T FRON TONLINE.C OM / P OW ER-PA RT Y
OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 21
FASHION FOR WOMEN T H E L AY E R E D L O O K
It can get gusty out there! Layer up for fall with these fresh-off-the-rack looks that (done right) won’t kill your budget.
Accessories A must, we’ve chosen a few fun additions (some as goofy props for aesthetics, we’ll admit). But a cute splash of color in a lapel pin or a ravishing cuff is a great way to hang onto the summer while smoothly transitioning your look for autumn. Slightly stressed jeans With the cleanliness of the peacoat, we really liked the blend of a jean that’s seen some things. (Or, at least were made to look that way.)
22 SEPTEMBER 16, 2015
Plaid button-up We’ve seen the rise of the lumberjack — why not the lumberjane? Plus, plaid’s been around forever but went out of vogue with the community when it was deemed “too lesbian,” whatever that means. Let’s reclaim cool. (Just make sure it’s not too thick. That doesn’t do favors in the shape department.)
Peacoat The wool peacoat is timeless. The past few seasons, we’ve seen them running short on the waist. Let’s drop it down a touch for a more classic fit that keeps more of you warm. (What a novel idea for a coat!) Booties Everyone loves a nice bootie. They’re perfectly designed to ramp up your shoe game without going too far up and weighing down your walk. They’re great for fall, which isn’t cold enough to warrant too much coverage on those gams.
Cable-knit sweater Done right, it adds a nice texture to the simple sweater. Done wrong, and it looks like Grandma’s been at the crochet needles again. Make sure the cords aren’t too thick. You want a near-seamless blend that isn’t so 3D.
Accessories A chunky necklace and good purse are the Queens of “Pop” this season. Don’t be afraid to rock the boat with a necklace that isn’t as conventional as the small, feathery varieties of late.
Headwear It’s Denver. We remember plenty of you chasing your wondrous hats down the 16th Street corridors after a sudden gust blew them clean off last fall. A more sensible choice that says, “I’m not wrecking my booties on an impromptu hat chase” would be a beanie. They’re ubiquitous; mix and match to taste.
Patterned pants Now that it’s cool enough to get some length to your legwear, let’s show them that fall-wear can be just as playful as our summer threads. Remember: With a patterned pant, watch out for clashing titans with a top that’s too busy. Always a good idea: pair with a solid top, or a subtle print tee. OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 23
Pick Your
Poison
Photography// Paul Wedlake Photography Fact-finding// Caitlin Galiz-Rowe
For this issue, we’re talking vices. Whether it’s a tale from the workaholic (which harbors within it aspects of greed, envy, and pride) or a day in the life of someone with substance abuse issues, we asked our writers — and our models — to examine the darker elements of their psyche.
Pride
Your mind will actually create a new comfort zone for itself to protect you from the fear of failure. Many fears stem from your ego and its attempts to protect itself. There’s a difference between Narcissism and narcissism: Narcissism is a clinical disorder, narcissism is just being really into yourself. Narcissists tend to be charming and can impersonate interest in the people around them. If you ask a narcissist if they’re narcissistic, they will often say yes.
24 SEPTEMBER 16, 2015
Gl uttony
Binge/compulsive eaters tend to be perfectionists. Both over and underweight people can be binge eaters. People who binge eat are more likely to do it at night.
Sl oth
Sleeping too much can raise your risk for depression. Oversleeping has been linked to lower socioeconomic status. Sleeping too much can increase your risk of Type II Diabetes and has been linked to heart problems.
OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 25
Lust
Sexual arousal dulls your natural response to the disgusting parts of sex. During their lifetime, the average driver will have sex in their car six times. Strippers who are ovulating make more tips. It’s harder to lie to someone convincingly if you find them sexually attractive. The earth could be re-populated back to current levels with the number of sperm that can fit in an aspirin capsule.
Greed
The richest 20 percent of the world account for 86 percent of the world’s total private consumption. In the last 50 years, the average American house size has tripled. Annually, Americans spend more on shoes and accessories (approx. $100 billion) than they do on higher education. Americans purchase twice as many material goods as they did 50 years ago.
Photography// Paul Wedlake Photography Art Direction// Trisha Himmler Hair/Makeup// Fluff Bar, Denver Men’s Clothing// Sully & Co, Denver Women’s Clothing/Styling// Goldyn, Denver Location// Lannie’s Clocktower Cabaret, Denver
Wrath
Anger arouses the nervous system and can have effects on your cardiovascular and digestive systems. Venting anger on inanimate objects actually increases aggressive behavior. Anger has also been linked to insomnia. Having a destructive reaction to anger means you’re more likely to have heart attacks.
Envy
There’s a difference between envy and jealousy; envy is when you desire what others have, jealousy is when you are angry/afraid that someone will take what you have. We tend to remember more details about people we envy than others we don’t.
“Instagram envy” is the new term for the pang you feel when you see your friends/ celebrities post photos of themselves with new, desirable items. People who are afraid of being envied tend to be more helpful toward people who may envy them.
VICES
RIGHT TO THE CATCH
“SEX, FOOD, OR SLEEP: If you could eliminate the need for one, which would it be?” my childhood friend asks me as she pours us both a glass of white. Fiona Ansbury “Sex,” I reply. She winces, instantly remembering my … issue with the stuff. After a round of apologies she needn’t have made, I manage to get her back on topic. I have no problem discussing the context of my life as a sex addict — not anymore. Before I’d actually come to grips with it, yeah, it was difficult. As long as we’d known each other, we’d never really gotten into the psychological mechanics, and now seems a fine enough time. At this point, I trust her not to get weird. She already knows a little about it. For example, I’ve told her that the shame in the sex with “randoms” is only the beginning. Compile the disgust from the general public, the comparisons between your life and that of, say, a pedophile’s, and the need to constantly hide yourself away as a guilt-addled werewolf might upon an impending full moon, and it gets pretty dark inside. She knows about the sex-addict’s response to a sneering society as we feed the beast in defiance, telling ourselves that it’s our nature to sexually abuse our bodies (and make no mistake, that’s what it is), and who is anyone to judge? I’ve told her about coming unhinged and needing to disappear for awhile, so she already knows that part.
28 SEPTEMBER 16, 2015
She also knows that was before, when things weren’t as stable. Now, I’m fine opening up about my recovery process. “What do you think the repercussion should be?” she continued. I was confused. “The theme in my story revolves around people taking drastic measures to rid themselves of their vices only to unwittingly trade them for another. The people who give up food endlessly bite their nails and chew wads of gum way too big for their mouths. The ones who give up sleep end up scheduling themselves for more work and it only compounds to the pressure they were hoping to eliminate. With your insight, what repercussions do the sexless face?” Aha. “They’re extremely isolated,” I tell her. “If you’re walking down the street in this dystopian future of yours, you can tell the ones who gave up sex as a vice by the way they quickly close the curtains when you lay eyes on them.” She was intrigued. “They have all their food ordered in and they don’t make eye contact with the delivery person. They rarely communicate with the outside world, but when they do, it’s via some cold, impersonal messaging system. No human contact. They’re aware of its corruption.” Her aura is flat. “Why?” is all she can ask. “Because sex addiction has nothing to do with getting off,” I tell her. “At least not in my case. For me, it’s about bringing someone close. Getting into them; getting them into me. It’s a connection that I just don’t feel when I’m interacting with people in non-sexual ways. And I’m addicted to that primal sense of literal, physical connection to go with the skewed emotional one. I feel as though I’ve absorbed some of the life they willingly gave me.”
SEX IS THE WAY WE SPEAK. IT’S ALSO THE WAY WE AVOID SPEAKING, AT TIMES. HOW EASILY COULD I DOWNLOAD TINDER AND HAVE CRAZED ANIMAL SEX IN A MATTER OF MOMENTS?
“What’s so wrong with that?” she asks. “Because it’s fleeting. You need larger doses of stronger stuff to even come close to warding off the need.” “So you think these people would be tempted to revert to their old ways if they had human interaction?” she asks, clearly taking mental notes. “I wasn’t thinking so. Why would they do that?”
“They sound so unhappy,” she says. “Isn’t everyone in some way?” She agreed. “Without the need for intimacy, there’s no point in engaging other people; it’s just asking for trouble. Unless you really deal with the issue at its roots — which, for me, is truly just a need for intimacy — you’ll either let it become you, or you’ll cut the sex off at the source.” “What’s the source?” “The modern world,” I insist. “It’s a sexual playground. Look at every billboard, every commercial, every magazine: Sex is the way we speak. It’s also the way we avoid speaking, at times. How easily could I download Tinder and have crazed animal sex in a matter of moments? No need to wine and dine, no “what do you do for a living?” — just cut to the chase. As a matter of fact, cut past the chase, and get to the catch. That’s what we were looking for anyway, right?” I can tell she doesn’t agree, but she’s not upset. “Think of it as not only trying to recreate the feeling of your first drink, perhaps, but of knowing you can better the experience and take it to the next level because you didn’t quite get it right the first time. Or the second. Or the hundredth. But inside each experience, there’s something of value, and that’s the problem. You’ve found a tiny piece of a giant puzzle and maybe one day, you’ll complete it, sip by sip, encounter by encounter. Of course, that’s a delusion, but does that ever stop anyone?” “What kinds of things does a sex addict get up to?” she asks before: “If that’s ok to ask.” I look at her, knowing I’ll never be able to give her the true answer — I’d lose her company for good. “Think about the people who engage you in any kind of way. The tattooed bucket drummer who thanks you for the tip, the well-read barista who likes your bag, the woman at work talking to you about her sick kid, the lawn-care specialist selling his services door to door, nearly anyone who pulls you into his or her world. Now imagine that instead of a laugh you offer, or a kind word, it’s something sexual. You latch onto this person in the strangest of ways and can see nothing but their sexuality and how you can get inside of it. Instead of sympathy, sex. Instead of regret, sex. Instead of any other reaction to their interest in you, you’d like to give this person sex.” “Even if they’re unattractive?” she quietly reels. “At times, absolutely. It’s not about that,” I tell her, becoming a bit exasperated but trying to be patient. I’m certain I’ll never be ready to tell her the gory details, so I soften my tone. “If they’re beautiful, though, that’s a nice bonus.” “So basically, as an addict, your favorite way to communicate with another human being is through sex?” she asks, unable to hide a foreign emotion in her voice. “Essentially, yes.” “Are you thinking that about me?” We make eye contact, then both look away. OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 29
VICES
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF AN
ANONYMOUS
ALCOHOLIC
“MY GOD DIDN’T MAKE NO gay people!” an old man chuffed at me when I let fly that I was dating a woman. It was my first-ever Narcotics Anonymous meeting and I was there for alcoholrelated issues. Crack brought him here. So quite literally, my first experience truly opening up about my substance-abuse background to a room of people who were supposed to be understanding of potential root causes resulted in gay-shaming from an old crack-fiend. Sweet.
I wanted to walk out immediately, but I’d settled my stuff and truly just wanted this to work. I was 25, very much a contributing member of society, but also battling a raging problem with the sauce that I desperately wanted under control. A recovering buddy of mine suggested I try this particular meeting, its location in the basement of a church near my house. “I really get a lot out of it,” he said. “Good people.” But there I was, stewing. It made perfect sense. I was, after all, in the Deep South, seeking counsel and camaraderie from people clutching a copy of One Day At A Time in one hand (a stop-your-vice manifesto), and a copy of The Holy Bible in the other. At any time, they’d wield words 30 SEPTEMBER 16, 2015
from either book. The second step out of the 12 you’re urged to take on your recovery process is believing that a “Power greater than yourself can restore [you] to sanity.” Needless to say, there was a lot of Bible-thumping. The round of “mmm-hmmm!” the old man got when he informed me that I wasn’t a product of “God” made me want to crack open a fresh bottle of bourbon and give it hell. That was nearly a decade ago. _______________________________________ It’s 6pm. Long day. Traffic. Wear and tear. Check the mail. More bills. No groceries. Take the dog out. Get a text. Passiveaggressive message. Great. Hit the treadmill. Still tense. No groceries. There’s bourbon. Turn on the TV. “I hate this show.” Fine. Bourbon. “This show’s kinda funny, actually.” Another swig. Piece together a meal. Not the best. More bourbon. “I need music.” Sit in the dark. Listen to music. More drinking. “What was that song …?” Swig. “Ah, yes.” Eyes close. Wake in the chair. 3am. Again? Can’t sleep. Feel ill. Shower? Let’s. 5am. Try to sleep? Two hours. No sleep. Dress for work. Dizzy. “Hey, everybody.” Lather. Rinse. Repeat. That’s me. That’s the dissolution that’s become my daily routine for the last ten or so years of my life, give or take a treadmill session (mostly take). I wake every single day with two things on my mind: “You’re tired of this. Do better.” And, conversely: “You know 6pm will come again, who are you kidding?” And I know the latter sentiment is the stronger one. I know this outright because I’ve tried and failed to get this monkey off my back on more times than I wish to talk about. Part of me feels it is me, so I stop fighting too hard. It’s always there. It’ll always be there. What’s sad is watching people around me (the ones who know, anyhow) blame themselves. What’s sad is hearing their pleas echo in my head while I sit outside the liquor store begging, “Please don’t do this. You said you wouldn’t do this” to myself. What’s sad is that a dire medical bodycheck doesn’t stop me from cracking another bottle. What’s sad is that the best in me will always get pushed out by the worst in me. It’ll always lose. If the help never takes hold, that is. If only hope were as addictive as the haze. I wish I could lift the tone for a finale that most people are used to. “It gets better” or whatever. The truth is, I have no advice — only this vice, which might provide a sick comfort to some that their feelings are not original, and a cautionary tale to others that losing your grip for good is easily done. Maybe one day, but until then, this is me … and there’s a lot of “me” out there. Perhaps I’ve seen you at a Mile High meeting? We’ll never know. But good luck to you, too. You, I, and that “higher power” knows we’ll need it.
OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 31
VICES
THE NEED TO UNPLUG IT TAKES AN AVERAGE PERSON 14
minutes to fall asleep, according to a sleep app I just downloaded. To me, that sounds … like a dream, honestly. When my head smacks the pillow at night, the first thing it wants to do is make sure my emails are all caught up; that no one’s sent me anything while I cooked dinner and showered that I might as well get started on. Cara G. It’ll all come crashing down on you in the morning, otherwise, my apocalyptic head sings to me in a 1950s-housewife lilt, and each time I actually believe it. So there I’ll find myself, furiously refreshing my accounts and making sure I can get that last little pinch of work in before I lay there for another 15 minutes and decide to check my emails again. It’s always been a problem with me. “The early-bird gets the worm,” I told myself as a child, waking at 4am to dress myself for school. It didn’t take long — my outfit was already neatly stacked on my dresser so that I’d basically only need to pop out of bed and walk into them. I’d sit there going over my homework to make sure I nailed every question to the fullest of their extents while cartoons played in the background. I’d get fresh paper and redesign the layout of my responses if I’d sullied the page with too many obvious erasures. Hell, if the corners of the pages were wrinkled, I’d obsess that the teacher would find my presentation sloppy and wonder if I keep my room the same way. Never! 32 SEPTEMBER 16, 2015
Fast-forward to 2015. Now, between making myself accessible to coworkers and clients for 18–20 hours a day and being unwaveringly consumed by the terror of being inept at work, I spend my free time parting my hair in search of the random grays that are starting to pop up. My best friends are my tablet, Pandora, and Xanax. My worst enemies are quiet evenings, errands that should be fun (like shopping), and an empty Xanax bottle. Needless to say, I’ve given my body and mind over to the machine, and I’m grinding on this hamster wheel like it’s gonna take me somewhere. Yes. I’ve tried therapy. “You’re living in tomorrow,” a therapist once told me. (She was hot, but geez did she talk too slow. Speed it up, honey!) “When you live in today, you’ll see a change in the way you look at your life, and you’ll be able to appreciate more of it.” (Sure, yeah, can I go now?) But I took some advice from an old boss. He told me, “Cara. Slow down. Maybe unplug at 5 o’clock. Go off the radar, sort your life out.” He said I gave him anxiety. So I did. Once I walked out of the office, I turned my tablet off, silenced my phone, and went AWOL. It was … strange. Unsettling, at first, but then I grew to like watching Jeopardy! and feeding my fish. I actually sat on the porch with Sleepytime tea and metaphorically kissed the moon as it made its way to our part of the world. I could actually see the value in this after a week and then:
MY BEST FRIENDS ARE MY TABLET, PANDORA, AND XANAX. MY WORST ENEMIES ARE QUIET EVENINGS, ERRANDS THAT SHOULD BE FUN (LIKE SHOPPING), AND AN EMPTY XANAX BOTTLE.
“Why aren’t you answering your phone? We have an angry client who says you’re AWOL.” My boss. Aaaaand we’re back! This is our American life, my friends.
BITCHCRAFT The gin joint was on September 3rd during Bitchcraft at the Compound. One of Denver’s newest drag show is presented every Thursday by Valerie, Amber and Lala Shearz. Other performers included Mariah Spanic, Lacey Vanderpump, Jessica L’Whore, Amya Ku Nt Douglas, and Mia Staxx. Doors open at 9pm, the show starts at 10pm. Photos by Charles Broshous
WE’LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO SMILE ABOUT Head to Smile High Dental Spa and let Dr. Raymond & the Smile High Team dazzle you and your smile!
(303) 355-1645 | SmileHighDentalSpa.com 755 E Hampden Ave Ste 310, Denver OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 33
VICES
IS DRUNK YOU THE
REAL YOU? THERE’S AN OLD ADAGE THAT goes
thusly: “A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.” I’d like to follow that up with one my of personal favorites: “Bullsh*t.” Nadia Rogers Imagine the weirdest, worst thing you’ve done while drunk. (The one that doesn’t involve Pam cooking spray and a Wiffle ball bat — we swore that was off limits.) I mean those other things, like cry-calling that ex from seven years ago at 2am, ordering a pizza and wings from Domino’s and eating them all in one sitting, or sleeping with your equally drunk BFF which is utterly disgusting and I’m so glad you don’t remember it, either, boo. Naturally, these are things you wouldn’t do sober (except maybe the Domino’s thing, you loveable monster) … and in an honest yet completely weird way, that’s kind of the point of alcohol — to let your guard down enough to do things you normally wouldn’t; to remove the “you a minute ago” and insert a new “you for right now.” But is the drunk you actually you? The answer, in short, is no. Not exactly. Unlike the Lorde, alcohol doesn’t work in mysterious ways.
Booze takes a pretty straightforward path from the front of your brain and works its way toward the back. It begins with the frontal cortex, the part of your grey matter that controls really pertinent stuff like social cues, forethought, and impulse control. Once the booze starts to settle in, it chips away at your ability to read people well and hold your fire, whether friendly or intentional. Additionally, drinking impairs your ability to self-regulate. It’s literally #NoFilter. But if you take away the filter, aren’t you exposing your “true self”? Nope. Because part of your true self is your ability to filter these things. So kicking your frontal cortex to the curb is akin to throwing out your inner bouncer, making you the unhinged, emotional reactionary without the foresight of consequence. (That ring a bell?) What about sleeping with strangers? (I mean, for those of us who don’t normally do that.) Generally speaking, alcohol impairs vision. That’s certain. But in addition, alcohol blurs the lines between what we’d normally consider attractive, and what we’re just not into. The key commonality within us all, regardless of our preference for gender, race, (etc.), is the draw of symmetry. In short, we like one side of the face and body to match the other. When we’re up-close and personal with that hottie who looks “just like Emma Stone!” at the bar, but looks more like Carrot Top when the sun comes up, just know you’re not the first one to have the wool pulled over your slightly crossed eyes. (Not that I’ve experienced that a jillion times or anything. Thanks, Captain Morgaaaaan!)
BOOZE AFFECTS YOUR FRONTAL CORTEX, IMPAIRING YOUR ABILITY TO READ SOCIAL CUES AND SELF-REGULATE. SOUND FAMILIAR?
The moral of the story? Honey, just because you’re a ticket-holder on the Hot Mess Express when you’ve had a few doesn’t mean you’re “that guy/girl” all the time. So you’ve made out with your BFF a time or three and pigged out on your roomie’s leftovers — it’s not that big a deal. But if these things keep happening to you, maybe you should reconsider your reputation and peace of mind and try something else … like, I don’t know … not drinking?
M A RQUEE BUDDY: THE BUDDY HOLLY SHOW Thru November 11 th, 2015 5501 Arapahoe Ave. • BDTStage.com 34 SEPTEMBER 16, 2015
DENVER’S BEST PAITO Soak up some sun, sip on a cocktail, and enjoy a juicy burger on Denver's best patio!
OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 35
36 SEPTEMBER 16, 2015
EXILE 4 FETISH BALL The Exile 4 Fetish Ball was held at the EXDO Event Center on August 29th. Hundreds of people came out to celebrate Colorado’s fetish, kink, and leather communities. The event featured fetish performances, demonstrations, tastings, live music, DJs, vendors, and artists. Exile 4’s charity beneficiaries were Leather Magick, the Leather Archives, & Museum, the Denver boys of Leather, the Denver girls of Leather, and the Gender Identity Center of Colorado. Photos by Charles Broshous
WIN E A ND DINE DJ’s 9th Avenue Cafe DJ’S 9TH AVENUE CAFE 865 Lincoln St. Denver • 303.386.3375 DjsCafe.biz
HAMBURGER MARY’S 700 East 17th Ave. Denver • 303.832.1333 HamburgerMarys.com/denver OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 37
CALE NDA R
B ROUG HT TO YOU BY THE D E NV E R GAY & L ESB I AN C HAM B E R OF CO M M E RC E
OCT 23-25 U PCO MI N G
CHAMBER E V E N TS
SEPT 24
CHERRY ARTS FESTIVAL AT STANLEY
BUSINESS AFTER HOURS
@ STA NL EY M AR KET P LACE • 10AM –5 P M CherryArts Festival at Stanley, showcases national art, local flavor and creative living. With a national juried art show featuring more than 70 exhibiting artists in 13 media categories, including ceramics, mixed media, digital art, photography, metalworks and drawing visitors will enjoy live entertainment, children’s activities, home design and culinary demonstrations. Oh, and did we mention it’s free? CherryCreekArtsFestival.org
With host Vince Grandi from Coldwell Banker.
SEPT 26
@ THE CROWN SOCIAL (FORMERLY THE BLACK CROWN) • 1446 S. BROADWAY • DENVER • 5.30PM – 8PM
SEPT 29
CHAMBER 101: A NETWORKING RESOURCE
OCT 01
BREAKFAST SERIES
38 SEPTEMBER 16, 2015
AROUND THE WORLD WITH COFFEE
@ DEN V ER BOTAN I C GAR DEN S • 10AM We don’t cry over spilled milk. Spilled coffee, however, might get you cut. Join the crew at DBG for an introductory tour of coffees and their unique characteristics from places all over the world. They’ll talk coffee growing and processing and how it relates to flavor distinctions.
@ HOT CAKES DINER • 1400 E. 18TH AVE • DENVER • 7.30AM – 9AM
@ DOUBLETREE BY HILTON DENVER • 3203 QUEBEC ST • 7.30AM – 9AM • $15/ MEMBERS Come meet this year’s Business Awards Gala non-profit nominees, including representatives from AVER, the Gender Identity Center, and Out & Equal.
SEPT 26
DEF LEPPARD @PEPSI C EN T ER • 7 P M
Since Survivor was cool enough to come out against KY County Clerk Kim Davis, let’s shout out another 80s staple, Def Leppard. If you feel like dawning animal-print tights and big hair, you’ll be in perfect company when you “Pour Some Sugar” on it at the Pepsi Center. Tickets starts at ~$30.
THE GREAT DEPRESSION
OCT 02
@ EUG EN E F I ELD LI BRARY • 11AM –N OON Join Active Minds for a look back at the Great Depression. They’ll examine the origins of the depression and its legacy as well as take a look at it through the lens of our current economic environment. Free!
OCT 02-11
SEPT 27
SUSAN G. KOMEN RACE FOR THE CURE ® @ P E PS I CEN T E R • 10 0 0 CH OPPER C I R • 8 A M One in seven women in Colorado will be diagnosed with breast cancer in her lifetime. Every minute, somewhere in the world, someone dies from breast cancer. Join Komen Colorado for the 23rd Race for the Cure, the world’s largest education and fundraising event for breast cancer. 100% of the net proceeds are allocated to the Susan G. Komen mission and help support the fight against breast cancer. For more information and registration visit: Bit.ly/KomenCORace
OCT 01
1ST THURSDAY
LA SYLPHIDE @ ELLI E CAULKI N S OP ERA H OUS E
YOGA + WINE
CARNIVAL 2015
@ I N F I N I T E M ON KEY T HEOR EM • DEN V ER • 6. 30 TO 8. 30P M • $25
@ T HE CHURCH N IGHTCLUB • 21 8 0 S L EY DEN ST • D E N V E R • 8PM–2 AM Join Organization for a Dream as they unite Denver in the most entertaining party to end our beautiful Summer of 2015. With live music and performances all night, plus a Best Costume Contest for $3000, you’re invited to join in on the African drums and salsa dancing. (Whaaat? Totally.) Bonus: Eat your heart out at the Aztec princess buffet. COClubs.com/the-church
Every 1st Thursday of the month, Infinite Monkey lets yoga enthusiasts of all stripes practice their stuff with a yoga class in the winery, topped off by a glass of wine afterward.
2ND+4TH WEDNESDAY
We’re queer — and we like it that way! Join the artistic community of Denver for the longest running bi-weekly open-mic night in Denver, Queer Inspired Poetry. Hosted by entrepreneur and storyteller JodyB with a different special guest and co-host every night, QUIP features entertainers, actors, singers, and notable community players. And, psst: Whiskey Wednesdays mean $4 you-call-it to the bar. BlushBluDenver.com
QUIP OPEN MIC
@ BLUS H & B LU • 8PM
Temptation casts a wicked spell. A young Scotsman pursues a beautiful winged spirit in the romantic season opener, La Sylphide. Will it end in tears? For the first time in nearly 20 years, Colorado Ballet will perform the classical masterpiece, which includes live music by the Colorado Ballet Orchestra. ColoradoBallet.org
OCT 03
ART, DENVER STYLE!
@ FAI RWAY VI LLAS CLUBHOUS E • 1P M –4 . 30P M • $37/ P ERSON Come see the inspirational, fanciful, and just plain odd as we tour Denver’s world of art with Active Minds. Starting with the Arts District on Santa Fe, we’ll see some of the outdoor art that pleases the eye, some out in the open, and some hidden away! Outside the sacred halls of art that compose the Denver Art Museum, outside the old garages turned galleries, we’ll learn about how it’s done Denver style. It’s art, of course, so come with an open mind and a camera if you like. OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 39
40 SEPTEMBER 16, 2015
BOYS NIGHT OUT A capacity crowd packed Boyztown on September 5th for Denver’s hottest male revue. The show, which runs Tuesday through Sunday from 10pm until 1:45am, is a great place to socialize, have a few drinks, and enjoy a little eye candy. Boyztown is also popular for bachelor and bachelorette parties. Photos by Charles Broshous
OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 41
MARKETPLACE
FOR INFO. ON PLACING A MARKETPLACE AD
303-477-4000
[ ACCOUNTING ]
[ INSURANCE ]
[ CHIROPRACTIC ]
[ INSURANCE ]
ADVERTISING@OUTFRONTONLINE.COM [ LEGAL ]
Planning is your best coverage.
Heal, Restore, Improve, Correct, Relieve, Align
NORM BELSON AGENCY NBELSON@FARMERSAGENT.COM 400 S COLORADO BLVD SUITE 220 DENVER, CO 80246
Call 303-777-4690 x101 today for Auto, Home, Life and Business. [ DENTIST ]
42 SEPTEMBER 16, 2015
[ LEGAL ]
[ MASSAGE ]
SMALL BUSINESS PACKAGE MARKETPLACE AD in each issue; 24 ads per year WEB AD for one year front page visibility ONE MILLION IMPRESSIONS
For more information, contact us: 303-477-4000 or email marketing@outfrontonline.com [ MASSAGE ]
[ REAL ESTATE ]
[ MASSAGE ]
[ MEDIA & MARKETING ]
[ RENTAL ]
[ MASSAGE ]
[ REAL ESTATE ]
OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 43
BAR TAB 1417 Krameria, Denver (720) 287-0584
HAPPY HOUR Endless beer & cocktails $12 4pm–8pm Tuesday – Sunday
BA RK ER LOU NG E
TUESDAY Dart League: Games start at 7pm
475 Santa Fe, Denver (303) 778-0545
BA RR ICU DA'S
THURSDAY Underwear Night: Best Party in Denver $10 Bud Light pitchers 9pm–Close
1076 Ogden St., Denver (303) 860-8353 barricudasdenver.com
EVERY 3RD SATURDAY Gear Nigh: Leather and Fetish Gear 9pm–Close
B LUSH & BLU
HAMBURGER MARY’S
1526 E. Colfax Ave., Denver (303) 484-8548 blushblubar.com
700 E. 17 th Ave., Denver (303) 832-1333 hamburgermarys.com/denver
B OYZTOWN
MANIC MONDAYS Happy Hour from open to close. Karaoke @ 9pm with Allison
117 Broadway, Denver (303) 722-7373 boyztowndenver.com
B ROA DWAYS 1027 Broadway, Denver (303) 623-0700 facebook.com/broadways.denver
C HA R LIE'S ® 900 E. Colfax Ave., Denver (303) 839-8890 charliesdenver.com DAILY SPECIALS Open–close: $3 domestic minipitchers (32-oz.) 11am–7pm: $3 wells, $3 domestics, and $4 u-calls. 8–10pm: $5 PB&J drink & shot special THURSDAYS 2-4-1 drinks from 7pm–close FRIDAYS $3 Absolut from 9pm–close SATURDAYS $3 Svedka (all flavors) from 9pm–close SUNDAYS Svedka and well liquor bust from 4–8pm. Drag Divas: show starts at 9pm, $5 big pitchers
LANNIE’S CLOCKTOWER CA BAR E T 16th St. Mall @ Arapahoe (303) 293-0075 lannies.com
LIL’ DEVILS 255 South Broadway, Denver (303) 733-1156 lildevilslounge.com
TRACKS 3500 Walnut St., Denver (303) 863-7326 tracksdenver.com
BR
BL
SUPERSTAR THURSDAYS 18+ dance party Cover: 18–20 $10, 21+ $5 after 10pm ELEVATED SATURDAYS 2-for-1 drinks between 9–10pm No cover before 10pm
LANNIE’S
1446 S. Broadway, Denver (720) 353-4701 crownsocialdenver.com
110 N. Nevada Ave., Colo. Springs (719) 578-7771 undergroundbars.com
CO M POU ND BASIX
W RANGLER
145 Broadway, Denver (303) 722-7977 compounddenver.com
1700 Logan St., Denver (303) 837-1075 denverwrangler.com
COMPOUND BOYZTOWN
DE N VER EAG L E
X BAR
LI’L DEVILS
CRAVE
ST .M
AL
L
COLFAX AVE.
PA R
K
AH AP
AV E
S OE
.W
scan or visit bit.ly/OutFrontBarTab for interactive map
T.
ES
T
WRANGLER 17TH AVE. HAMBURGER MARYS XBAR
SP
CHARLIE’S BLUSH & BLU
EE R VD BL .
BROADWAYS
11TH AVE. VINYL
ALAMEDA AVE. ARKANSAS AVE.
COLORADO BLVD.
BROADWAY
1ST AVE.
OGDEN ST.
BARKER LOUNGE
CLARKSON ST.
8TH AVE. 6TH AVE.
COLFAX AVE. AQUA LOUNGE
R&R
BARRICUDA’S WASHINGTON ST.
SANTA FE DR. KALAMATH ST.
44 SEPTEMBER 16, 2015
629 E. Colfax Ave., Denver (303) 832-2687 xbardenver.com
N
DENVER BAR MAP
KRAMERIA ST.
UNDERGROUND PU B
1475 36 St., Denver (303) 291-0250 theeaglebar.com
AL
. ST
UT
ELM ST.
T HE CROWN SOCIAL
H
TRACKS
YORK ST.
1891 14 St #110, Denver (303) 586-4199 cravedenver.com
DRAG NATION LAST FRIDAYS The nation’s best drag show with the hottest celebrity drag queens!
16 T
. VD BL EAGLE
T. ES
AR
C RAV E
th
H
AK
W
BABES AROUND DENVER FIRST FRIDAYS Largest monthly women’s party in the US! Doors open at 6pm. 21+
th
IG
N TO
COLORADO BLVD.
3430 N. Academy Blvd., Colo. Springs (719) 570-1429 clubqonline.com
WEDNESDAYS: DOLLS WITH BALLS BINGO Hosted by Alexandra Winters & Harley Quinn. Free! Starts at 9pm.
BROADWAY
C LUB Q
TUESDAYS: OUTRAGEOUS DRAG BINGO Hosted by Sasha Andrews & Jackie Summers. Balls drop at 9pm. Free to play!
DOWNING ST.
AQUA LOU NG E
THE HOTTEST DENVER NIGHTLIFE
LE
ET
SD
AL
E
DR
ALAMEDA AVE.
. EL POTRERO
BLACK CROWN
KAI LEE’S KIKI AT CHARLIE’S A capacity crowd ended their weekend at Kai Lee’s Kiki on August 30, a new drag show hosted by Kai Lee Mykels at Charlie’s. A Kiki is a party for calming nerves, reducing stress, and fighting ennui, which generally includes good music and good friends. Kai Lee and her Kweens take the stage every Sunday at 9:30pm. Photos by Charles Broshous
EARN YOUR BODY. Join today and your first month is FREE. *Join between September 16-30th.
303.863.7770 | 925 Lincoln Street | Denver MatrixFitnessAndSpa.com | Located between 9th & 10th on Lincoln OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 45
H EA LT H
THE BEAUTIFUL & BEASTLY BEARD
In the crazy-dry Colorado heat, your THERE ARE TWO COMMON COMPLAINTS I’ve heard this beard will most likely summer, both of them centered around the summer constantly feel dry and beard. First, from the beard owner: “It’s so itchy and sweaty.” Second, from the beard owner’s partner: “It’s so brittle if you don’t invest smelly and dirty and overall makes kissing such a drag.” in some proper beauty Kelsey Lindsey treatments. From both of them: “Isn’t there a beauty column you could Another way to write about this?” To avoid being wrapped up in any partner disputes, I’m going to take the non-confrontational route and dole out some tips for maintaining a thick neck of hair in warmer temperatures. Sunnier seasons may actually be the best time to start growing a beard for those cold winter months ahead. According to a 2009 study from V. A. Randall and N. V. Botchkareva, facial hair grows faster in the summer due to an increase in testosterone from more physical activity and vitamin D. So really, maintaining your summer beard is not only a fashion statement, it’s an investment for the future. Like any long-ish hair caught in the crazy-dry Colorado heat, your beard will most likely constantly feel dry and brittle if you don’t invest in some proper beauty treatments. Moisturize your beard with beard oil daily to keep your beard hydrated and soft, especially if you have gray hair, which can be coarser by nature. Those with gray in their beards might want to apply beard oil twice daily. 46 SEPTEMBER 16, 2015
keep your hairs soft and resistant to breaking is to keep the whole body hydrated, drinking lots of water throughout the day (which you should be doing, regardless). One of the most important things when it comes to maintenance is to wash your beard often during warmer temperatures. Sweat and dry skin can get trapped under the hair in summer months, causing irritation and itching on the face and neck. Use a special cleanser like the Billy Jealousy Beard Watch, or mix a facial scrub with a low-lather face wash so it can reach the skin below when applied to the beard. If you have an incredibly bushy beard, use a toothbrush reach the skin below the hair and clean your skin with that. Washing your beard will also have the added benefit of reducing the smell that’s undoubtedly going to accumulate during these sweaty months. For you, and your partner’s — or just anyone getting up close and personal with the hair’s — sake, try to wash at least two times a day.
GET TESTED! SPONSORED BY DENVER PUBLIC HEALTH
RAPID HIV TESTING | SYPHILIS | GONORRHEA | CHLAMYDIA INFORMATION & REFERRALS FOR PrEP, PEP & HIV CARE
HIV Testing Sites
Days
Times
Denver Public Health / STD Clinic 605 Bannock Street
Mon - Fri
7:45a - 5p
Tues - Thurs
7p - 10p
Denver Swim Club 6923 East Colfax Street Elati House 639 Elati Street Element
Hey Denver 1720 Pearl Street
Midtowne Spa 2935 Zuni Street The LGBT Center 1301 East Colfax Street
Friday
2p - 5p
Monday
6p - 9p
Tues - Wed
4p - 9p
Thursday
4p - 6p
1st + 3rd Tues
3p - 5:30p
Monday
12n - 5p
Tuesday
10a - 2p
Wednesday
5:30p - 8:30p
Thursday
10a - 3p
Friday
11a - 3p
Wed - Thurs
7p - 10p
Friday
12n - 3:30p
Mon + Thurs
4:30p - 7:30p
OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 47
O U T BAC K CLASSIFIEDS Envisioned by Boberto
Need help?
If you believe you’re a victim of a sex or hate crime, contact the Colorado AntiViolence Program at 303-852-5094
Advertise Here
303-477-4000
48 SEPTEMBER 16, 2015
OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 49
BAC KWO R DS
ASK A SLUT [WARNING: GRAPHIC]
Can you please help me? My last boyfriend has turned into a psycho stalker! I broke up with him because he cheated on me, and now he texts and calls all the time and shows up at my house in the middle of the night! Signed, FATAL ATTRACTION
LaTexa: She’s right. Nothing beats a gum job. You
Bea: Are sure he just doesn’t want his lucky dildo
Give it a week and she will be stalking someone new.
I went on a date with a guy I met, and we just didn’t click. Nothing happened! Now I find out he’s telling everyone at the bars I was a terrible screw! How do I repair my reputation? Signed, DAMAGED GOODS
LaTexa: There are two ways to handle this kinda
Bea: Like I told Zoey, if you’ve laid 10,000 guys
situation — the easy way and the legal way. The legal way is also simple (see: restraining order); the easy way is take him back and drive out to a pig farm and ... well, let’s just say they eat everything — bone and all.
and they were all terrible, then it’s time to look at the common denominator. I mean really. The golden arches couldn’t serve 10 billion people if they didn’t have something worthwhile on the menu.
back? I mean if you were all that, he probably couldn’t have been looking for other ways to fill his “oats.”
Zoey: That’s what happens when you date LaTexa.
Cookie: Don’t worry about it until there is a rabbit in a pot. The trick is to M. Night Shyamalan him what a twist. Turn the tables on him and go all American Psycho yourself. That’ll teach him.
JackLynn: Has he boiled your rabbit yet?
I tricked with a guy last week and things started to get really hot and heavy. Then he took out his teeth! What should I have done? Signed, JAW DROPPER Bea: Really? A Daddy from SilverFoxes.com doesn’t have his teeth? SHOCKER! You don’t have to kiss him to get his money. If he has a nice c*ck, 69 him until the check clears.
Zoey: You should’ve let him continue. Nothing is better than a gummy unless he adds a hummer to the mix. 50 SEPTEMBER 16, 2015
don’t know what you’re missing.
Cookie: I’ll third that notion. Take the gummer. It’s amazing.
JackLynn: Let him suck your d*ck — at least there will be no surprises with teeth!
Zoey: Sleep with everyone he knows to prove him wrong … or right.
LaTexa: Since I’ve never been accused of being a bad lay, I’d be devastated and offer to prove that I’m good in the sack to everyone who confronted me about it.
Cookie: Tell everybody that he has an STD and they should get tested. Any contact him will cause things to fall off. Lepers had it better. Besides, he couldn’t have been that good anyway — you can’t use a baby carrot on a snowman.
JackLynn: The best defense is a good offense. Tell everyone the reason he thought you were a bad screw was because his pecker is microscopic. Then meet him out back with a roofie and f*ck his brains out.