Queer in America :: June 19, 2013 by OUT FRONT Magazine

JUNE 19, 2013

Outfrontonline.com

JUNE 19, 2013

VOL. XXXVII ISSUE #6 June 19, 2013 t

CONTENTS 24

COVER STORY: Queer in america

focus: pride 2013 roundup

SO LIV FO CUS CIAL ING 6 9 10 12 14 16

Letter From The Editor News Panel Voices Show & Tell The Lesbian Socialite Bleed Like Me

10 32

30 32 34 38 39 40

Food For Thought High Society On The Scene Bar Tab Bar Map Bar Rag

47 Thrive 52 Gay Aesthetic 54 Beauty 58 Back in the Day 60 Sexuality 61 HeinzeSight

On the cover: Daniel Thompson, Neil Rhoades, Jessica Wilson, Jen LaBarbara and Jeff Carara // Cover photography by Evan Semon // www.EvanSemon.com 4

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Serving the LGBT Community of the Rocky Mountains since 1976 3535 Walnut Street Denver, Colorado 80205 Phone: 303-477-4000 Fax: 303-325-2642 Email: info@outfrontonline.com Web: OutFrontOnline.com Facebook: facebook.com/OutFrontColorado Twitter: @OutFrontCO Out Front Colorado is published by Transformation Communications Group, LLC, a Colorado limited liability corporation and is a member of: Denver Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce and Denver Drama Critics Circle. PHIL PRICE / Founder, 1954-1993 JERRY CUNNINGHAM / Publisher Email: Jerry@outfrontonline.com J.C. MCDONALD / Vice President / Director of Circulation Email: JC@outfrontonline.com NIC GARCIA / Associate Publisher Email: Nic@outfrontonline.com JEFF JACKSON SWAIM / Chief Strategist Email: Jeff@outfrontonline.com

EDITORIAL HOLLY HATCH / Editor-in-Chief Email: Holly@outfrontonline.com MATTHEW PIZZUTI / Junior Editor Email: Matt@outfrontonline.com KRISTIN ZIEGLER, ALEX MEYER / Editorial interns CONTRIBUTING WRITERS: Brent Heinze, Robyn Vie-Carpenter, Scott McGlothlen, Jeff Steen, Josiah Hesse, Gary Kramer, Mike Yost, Ashley Trego, Nuclia Waste, David Marlowe, Jonathan McGrew, Chris Azzopardi, Shanna Katz, Noelle Leavitt Riley, Amy Lynn O’Connell, Kristin Ziegler, Steve Cruz, Rob Barger, Lauren Archuletta.

ART SARA DECKER / Creative Director Email: Sara@outfrontonline.com DENEE PINO / Production Assistant CHARLES BROSHOUS / Photographer

MARKETING / SALES JORDAN JACOBS / Marketing Executive Email: Jordan@outfrontonline.com ROB BARGER / Marketing Coordinator Email: Rob@outfrontonline.com

DISTRIBUTION: Out Front Colorado’s print publication is available semi-monthly, free of charge in Colorado, one copy per person. Additional copies of Out Front Colorado may be purchased for $3.95 each, payable in advance at Out Front Colorado oﬃces located at 3535 Walnut Street, Denver CO, 80205. Out Front Colorado is delivered only to authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of Out Front Colorado, take more than one copy of Out Front Colorado. Any person who takes more than one copy may be held liable for theft, including but not limited to civil damages and or criminal prosecution.

COPYRIGHT & LIMIT OF LIABILITY: Reproduction of editorial, photographic or advertising content without written consent of the publisher is strictly prohibited. Advertisers are responsible for securing rights to any copyrighted material within their advertisements. Publisher assumes no responsibility for the claims of advertisers and reserves the right to reject any advertising. Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization in articles or advertising is not to be considered an indication of the sexual orientation or HIV status of such person or organization. Publisher assumes no responsibility for the loss or damage of materials submitted. OPINIONS EXPRESSED are not necessarily those of OUT FRONT COLORADO, its staff or advertisers.

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JUne 19, 2013

Deﬁning America

fRom THe ediToR

ABOut tHE cOntrIButOrS:

These “From The Editor” letters are our chance to explain Out Front’s perspective as an organization, but I’m not one to go on about details of our jobs like who does what, what’s easy or hard about working here, our private opinions on issues and so forth.

CONNECT WITH MATTHEW

reach junior editor matthew Pizzuti by email at matt@outfront online.com, phone (303) 477.4000 ext. 712

JUne 19, 2013

foCUS

– then quizzed them on what their imaginary American looks like – a disproportionate number of us would describe a straight, white, born–citizen, middle–class male. Despite such self–imaginings, this country has never been that. Slightly more than half of the U.S. population is women or girls, and almost 30 percent is people of color. More than 10 percent of us are immigrants. According to a 2011 Williams Institute report, fewer than 4 percent identify openly as LGBT, though 11 percent acknowledge some same–sex attraction. People of color identify as LGBT at higher rates – possibly because the younger generations are both more racially–diverse and willing to come out – and means that the LGBT community in particular has no “default” or “generic” race or identity. There is no “LGBT America” without black, Latino, Asian and Native American voices, without bisexual and trans people, without young people and elders. This is a drum I beat often, but I’ll tell you – it’s not to be moralistic but that it’s the single biggest area within the scope of what we do at Out Front where the dominant consciousness differs from reality. To add another layer, the diversity of those experiences still falls short of the differences within those experiences, and kinds of experiences that aren’t visible. In the middle of developing this story, we realized we weren’t going to cover everyone we should; there’s no way to fit every kind of identity into six people and still have them be relatively “representative” of the general population. It has to be a continuing commitment and process in planning every story and reflecting on it when it’s done. I see a parallel in history. With today’s perspective, we wouldn’t call any great advancement in awareness or social justice a completion of what America is, or the ultimate inclusion of everyone. Maybe what defines this country isn’t who’s on “the list” but what we’re doing: the neverending task of defining ourselves more inclusively.

Matthew Pizzuti – Junior Editor

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Evan Semón is a Denver based, socially conscious contract photographer providing clients with a versatile editorial style of photography developed over years of experience with Newspapers, Magazines, and web based media. This editorial approach, developed on the staff of the three–time Pulitzer Prize for photography Rocky Mountain News, carries through with advertising/PR clients, political campaigns, and traditional events such as weddings, new born photos, and family portrait work. For more on Evan’s photography visit r EvanSemon.com or Facebook.com/ EvanSemonPhotography. See Evan’s work on the cover of this issue, and inside on page 24.

For Mike Yost there’s no such thing as being too loud. He loves to interview clamorous activists and clangorous nonprofits for Out Front, telling the stories of those who aren’t afraid to stand up for change and reporting on the efforts and politics affecting the whole community from the middle to the margins. Mike also listens to deafening metal, writing reviews for NoCleanSinging.com. His fondness for vociferation comes from serving in silence in the Air Force under Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, which became the basis of his first novel, Remnants of Light. Read the cover story by Mike Yost on page 24.

Truthfully, what’s “behind the scenes” in the little blue building across the street from Tracks would make a pretty dull TV drama – think less The Newsroom, and more The Office. The interesting and inspiring stories come from the people and experiences we find out in our community; that’s what we find rewarding and what we’re here to talk about. But in this case I’ll lift the veil for this issue’s cover story, Queer America, about the people and neighborhoods outside the Colorado communities we normally focus on. Though broad, abstract or sweeping stories are most–effectively told through anecdotes, “America” is really complicated. There are so many different layers of diversity and experiences out there that even a 15–part documentary series featuring hundreds of individuals would leave gaping holes. It was daunting thinking about depicting what and who LGBT America is in just six profiles – three pages of text – mostly focused on places we aren’t well–connected in. That’s no reason not to do this story – in a community–oriented publication, the conversation about what’s happening in our culture is the core of what we do. We don’t decide what the “answers” are, but if we ever put a thumb on the scale it should be to nudge the conversation toward considering new ideas – always looking for what, and who, is being left out of the mainstream consciousness. That faith in human beings that when knowledge and understanding is broadened we rise to new occasions, is not only a component of a journalistic ethic but also of an activist ethic, an anti–oppression ethic, a community–building ethic and a spirit of arts and humanities in general – all part of what Out Front exists for. That starts with recognizing that if you asked people to close their eyes and imagine “an American” (if you’d like, stop before you read on and try it yourself)

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JUne 19, 2013

oUT iN coLoRADo

AIDS Walk Colorado hits the ground running, August 10

AiDS WALK coLoRADo iS THE LARGEST HiV/AiDS FUNDRAiSiNG EVENT in the Rocky Mountain Region, and includes ways to support and get active through a day of fun and activities. More than 8,000 people throughout the state come together, fueled by donations to raise money for vital services for HIV/AIDS clients and more than 20 other AIDS service organizations. Don’t miss your chance to be a part of the 26th annual AIDS Walk Colorado, produced by the Colorado AIDS Project. Take a look at what is happening this year! WEDGLE & S PA H N A PROFESSIONAL CORPORATION

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5K RUN: The run is an official qualifier for the Bolder Boulder. Runner registration includes a commemorative T-shirt and a goodie bag. Registration is $30 per person before July 31, and $35 per person August 1 to the day of the run.

cELEbRATioN oF LiFE FESTiVAL: After the walk, head to the beer garden, visit panels of the AIDS Memorial Quilt, and enjoy celebrating life!

MEDIATION & ARBITRATION.

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THE AWARENESS WALK: Walk the 5K!

DiVA DASH: Break out your heels for the Diva Dash .5K Stiletto Fun Run! Don your diva wear and enter to win the title of Grandest Diva. Starts at 11:30 a.m. Prizes for first to finish (with a minimum of 3 inch heels and at least one shoe in tact, highest heels, most divalicious shoes and biggest diva disaster.

WE ARE EXPERIENCED LITIGATORS AND ALSO

JUNE 19, 2013

WHEN: August 10 WHERE: North lawn of Cheesman Park, located between 8th and 12 Avenues, and Humboldt and Vine Streets.

VoLLEYbALL ToURNAMENT: Join the 5th annual Volleyball Tournament held in conjunction with the Colorado Gay Volleyball Association. Pool play for the tournament will begin at 10:30 a.m. following the AIDS Walk and all participants will receive a commemorative T-shirt and top teams will win prizes!

We can assist you in planning your future together and securing your legal rights

DETAILS AT A GLANCE

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r More info: AIDSWalkColorado.org

NEWS

Crime reports highlight broken trust Leaders agree: better communication, training needed to help decrease rates By Nic Garcia As the path for marriage equality is coming into focus across the nation and here in Colorado, Denver’s LGBT leaders and activists, and the authorities are working through a fog of mistrust to find a formula to prevent bias–motivated crimes. Two surveys, reviewed by Out Front, that could provide the best insight to the scope of the problem yield more questions than answers. The first report, issued by the Colorado Anti-Violence Program in partnership with the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs, showed a decrease in statewide anti–LGBT and queer violence. CAVP clocked 77 reports of alleged hate crimes in 2012, compared to 90 in 2011. That’s 14 percent fewer incidents. Most incidents reported by CAVP were volunteered by survivors and victims. In some instances, CAVP also tracked crimes reported in the news media. And while a statistical decline might sound like cause for celebration, CAVP officials fear the reason for fewer reports is due, in part, to a lack of awareness of the nonprofit’s mission to track crimes and provide services to survivors, and skepticism that reporting such crimes would result in better justice for the victims. Further, the report goes on to illustrate the most marginalized members of the LGBT and queer communities – transgender individuals – are now more frequently targeted for violence. “Transgender survivors and victims were 22 percent of total reports, a 143 percent increase from 2011,” the report said. CAVP tracked 17 reports of anti– trans violence in 2012, compared to seven cases in 2011. The report does not provide insight to whether official police reports were filed and investigated. The nonprofit also reported a 100 percent increase in incidents of police violence or harassment from around the state. There were 10 total reports filed with CAVP in 2012, compared to five in 2011. Meanwhile, data provided to

Members of the Mayor’s GLBT Commission met with Denver Police Deputy Chief David Quinones, second from right, and Chief Robert White in May 2012. Photo by Charles Broshous Out Front by the Denver Police Department showed the number of alleged anti–LGBT acts of violence committed in the City and County of Denver remained statistically the same in 2011 and 2012. There were 14 total incidents perceived to be motivated by prejudice investigated by DPD in 2012, compared to 15 in 2011. According to the same report, DPD did not investigate any incidents involving anti–trans bias. To be fair, the reports are not to be compared directly to one another, but the discrepancies point to what might be the larger problem of a lack of cooperation and shared information by stakeholders with the same aim: to prevent violence. In separate interviews, both CAVP and DPD officials agree progress has been made to repair the erosion of trust between Denver authorities and the LGBT community, but more still needs to be done. “The bias unit in Denver is very good,” said CAVP’s Director of Advocacy Sandhya Luther. “The problem with the relationship is the mistrust of accountability when its come to the most highprofile cases.” Denver has two officers who are specially trained in investigating bias motivated crimes. Luther specifically referred to

the Michael DeHerrera case in which two Denver police officers were in 2009 caught on tape, apparently unprovoked, beating the gay man after they had arrested his friend. The officers were relieved of their duties, given their jobs back and then, in 2012, fired again after Denver’s Civil Service Commission ruled they should have never been given their jobs back. DPD Chief of Staff Lt. Matthew Murray said the department has, since Chief Robert White was hired in late 2011, implemented changes to rebuild community trust. So far, every member of the force has had to reapply for their jobs, every officer has gone through a “Respective” class that enforces respect for different perspectives, and about 30 percent of DPD’s 205 sergeants have completed a threeweek leadership course. There is also new policy on how the department investigates reports of police misconduct, Murray said. Since the new policy went into effect in 2012, 60 percent of all cases of police misconduct have been closed in about half the time those cases previously took, Murray said. The department is still developing how to measure the satisfaction of alleged victims. “Do we have the community’s trust yet? Probably not,” Murray

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said. “But that’s what we’re continuing to work toward.” CAVP’s Luther said she hopes the department will institute more training to break down officer’s own biases. “I feel like we keep saying the same thing, and nothing is changing,” Luther said. “One hour of training can only scratch the surface. It’s not enough time to deal with what might be very deep homophobia.” In turn, Murray said the DPD needs more cooperation from the community in reporting possible crimes and misconduct. “You have a police chief willing to listen, but you have to talk,” Murray said. “We can’t make changes if we don’t have (the public’s) feedback.” CAVP has had one meeting with White, Luther said, and that he asked her organization to bring any reports of police misconduct directly to him. One of the six alleged victims of DPD misconduct CAVP tracked in 2012 has asked for a review. Another organization working to strengthen ties between DPD and the LGBT community is the Mayor’s GLBT Commission. The commission has met privately with White, hosted a community stakeholder breakfast the GLBT Community Center of Colorado and in August will participate in a citizens academy with new recruits to discuss LGBT issues. The commission’s chairman, Sam Cole, said his organization has recommended a multi– pronged approach to establishing better relations between DPD and the LGBT community, which include: reestablishing lines of communication, increasing LGBTsensitivity training for rank and file officers and hiring more out LGBT officers. But, Cole pointed out, solving bias motivated crimes and police misconduct is tied to the larger issue of ending outright discrimination by society at-large. “What we’re really asking is ‘how do we overcome hate?’” he said. “That can take a lifetime.” JUNE 19, 2013

PANEL

Elisabeth Long is a sassy queer femme-inist. She’s passionate about anti-violence and queer activism and enjoys bonding with animals, and rockin’ a hot pair of stilettos.

Iowa native George K. Gramer, Jr. is the president of the Colorado Log Cabin Republicans.

I believe we should accept each of us as who we are, removing that lens of our own experience without social constructions of society. I recognize that this is an evolved form of thought and perhaps too much to ask. For me, I feel very much female and feminine and I also am attracted to women. I dress as society tells me a woman should dress because somewhere along the way I found it appealing. Who is to say that I am this way because I was created this way or because I adapted to society? It is probably both – nature and nurture. But, to judge me is passé or archaic even (yawn). As a community we are already deemed different and suffer through that realization from society at large. Why would we put our brothers and sisters through that same suffrage as a collective? As we hope for others to embrace us we have to model that behavior and embrace ourselves. Although I identify with my gender, it doesn’t mean I can’t step outside of that in my thought process and emotions to relate to others. My message to everyone is for us to choose to give and love, not judge or hate ourselves and our community. We must lead in this charge for both homosexual and heterosexual communities. And, when you see me with my high heels and pink suede tool belt embrace all of my femininity as a proud, strong lesbian.

About six months ago I came to know someone professionally who said he was poorly adjusted to the modern state of homosexuality. He said he came from an era where gay–friendly bars were only attended by gay men (not lesbians) and that there was a community of gay men who did not need a world outside of the gay community. He told me he did not recognize the gay community anymore. I found myself in a different gay community when I came out. I had gay, straight, bi and queer friends and sought the community of anyone who interested me. While it is not always perfect, society is getting better at accepting sexual differences and I feel lucky enough to be part of that. That being said, recently a gay male friend told me that he didn’t ‘think trans people were real’ as though the trans identity was not legitimate and deserving of his respect. I have really high expectations for the gay community. Those of us who have the amazing fortune to be able to express our sexuality openly, especially after fighting so hard to make it so, must not stop there but continue to fight. My colleague fought for gay rights and now I can live my life openly but now I carry on the fight to push past that to embrace all of the other sexualities and identities that have been waiting for their moment to shine. I feel those who fought for recognition should be the very last people to deny it to others.

Keo Frazier is the fearless leader and founder of KEOS Marketing Group.

Pieter Tolsma is a program coordinator at Denver PIQUE

Pieter Tolsma

LGBT individuals hold their own personal views on these classifications/ statuses. Some religious groups and private organizations hold other beliefs. I believe that it is important to remember that people unlike us may have completely opposite thoughts and views about things we hold important – things dealing with homosexuality and gender identity – some cultural, and some institutional. So, how might we address those of different views? There are those entities like the National Organization for Marriage and Focus on the Family for which I have no respect, but which I believe must be allowed their First Amendment rights to speak their beliefs. Each of us needs to develop our personal view on every issue influencing society, not just those issues affecting the LGBT community. We need to develop coherent beliefs across the spectrum (for example, I am pro choice and pro death penalty as they have the same result). Faith, race, culture, and ignorance all play a role in peoples’ thoughts and actions. The LGBT community and our spokespeople need to be less dramatic, accusative, and confrontational. We need to accept the fact that it takes a whole lot of clowns to put on a circus.

Keo Frazier

Elisabeth Long

There’s not one way LGBTQ people should address heterosexism and cissexism in other subcultures because they play out differently. Because of this, efforts to address heterosexism and cissexism in other communities are strongest when led by LGBTQ folks within those communities – who have the strongest lived knowledge of what that looks like, feels like, and how to disrupt it. We do best when we share, learn, and build off of queer and trans histories of coalition work. Unless we’re lucky to have family or teachers who shared otherwise, most of us never learned about liberation movements in our youth – in rural Missouri, I was lucky if I got a day or two of lessons in elementary and high school on the most conservative details of the U.S. civil rights and feminist movements! I never learned about queers in the Southern Freedom Movement, collaborations between working class white folks and people of color in labor movements, or any of the other actions before and at the same time as Stonewall. We have to reclaim those histories, share them, learn from what was and was not done, and honor them by continuing the struggle and sharing our individual and collective histories with non–LGBTQ people in our families and communities.

George K. Gramer, Jr.

How should LGBT people address heterosexism and cissexism within other marginalized groups?

Interested in becoming one of the voices on Out Front’s panel? Contact the editorial department by email at editorial@outfrontonline.com or call (303) 477.4000 ext. 711 to be considered!

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JUNE 19, 2013

SHOW & TELL

The revolution sounds like a whisper whis·per (n) 1. Soft speech produced without full voice. 2. Something uttered very softly (v) 1. To speak softly. 2. To say or tell privately or secretly ‘Whisper’ is a new app that allows people to share secrets anonymously. Featured in The Washington Post and Los Angeles Times, the app allows a platform for people not wanting to reveal their identities through “memes” that range from LGBT– specific struggles to universal insecurities. Your Voice, a nonprofit organization founded by the Whisper App, has created a blog specifically to raise awareness about mental health issues on college campuses at www.Your-Voice.org. The stories are different, but they all speak to the same message: In the words of gay activist and writer Dan Savage, you are not alone, and it gets better. To see more ‘Whisper memes’ or to submit your own visit blog.whisper.sh.

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WHISPER TO OUT FRONT! Engage with us through your own version of a photo meme or story by emailing to editorial@outfrontonline.com

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JUNE 19, 2013

the lesbian socialite

Couple to couple

Robyn VieCarpenter r Follow Robyn on Twitter @The LesSocialite

There is an interesting dynamic when you have couple friends. It’s kind of like you’re on teams, divided one of two ways: couple against couple, or in our case, butch against femme. The dividing lines aren’t necessarily obvious, it happens organically.

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I was marveling to my wusband that I’d never been part of a couple that was friends with another couple. It hadn’t occurred to me until we started hanging out with just that – our closest friends in California. Generally we’re a pretty well balanced group: two Studs, two Macho Femmes. The studs are both from Louisiana, about the same age, brothers from another mother. Then there’s me and the other Macho Femme. We like the same stuff, we think alike, we never run out of things to talk about. We’ve taken short trips together, spent holidays together, movies, dinners and long weekends. You know – they’re our couple friends. This is why you sometimes don’t see lesbians for months at a time. It’s not that they don’t continue to have a social life – their circles just got smaller. I have been in three long-term relationships in my life, spanning 20 years. Each one – and this sounds pitiful – was with someone who didn’t necessarily want people to know we were a couple. I know that sounds horrible – I’m not saying it to sound that way; I chose to be in those relationships. We didn’t do those “couple” things. I have friends that I have known for decades who’ve never met any of my exes. There is an interesting dynamic when you have couple friends. It’s kind of like you’re on teams, divided one of two ways: couple against couple, or in our case, butch against femme. The dividing lines aren’t necessarily obvious, it happens organically. It’s a really comforting place to be. I understand why couples get that smug look on their faces – that “we’re a couple, we know a peace that you can’t

know” look. When I first got engaged, I visited my oldest friend on the planet. She has seen me through boyfriends and girlfriends, heartbreak and triumph. When she picked me up from the airport, she said I already looked married. Another friend of mine told me even my butt looked different after my wusband and I started dating seriously. What? Even my butt? I don’t know about that. I do know I’ve always been one to have a wingman. Three of them if you count my mother and my sister, to giggle and have inside jokes with. Until now this person hasn’t been the person I was in a relationship with. But now, for the first time, the person I want to talk to about all of the things going on in life is my partner, my wusband, before anyone else, without fear of judgment. When I’m challenged by something or someone, I talk to her. When people are doing something that is irritating the crap out of me, she’ll tell me it’s OK or that it bothered her too. She smoothes my ruffled feathers. She’s on my side. So to really be couple friends, you must first really be a couple. Then the next step is finding a couple or three you like spending time with. Having things in common is vitally important – that’s why I think you need multiple sets. You can have your movie friends, your charity event friends, your hiking/fitness/outdoorsy friends, and so forth. Then if you’re really fortunate, you have one couple that likes most of the stuff you do and can invite them to almost anything and you know it’ll be a blast. There is a peace that you have in a couple: it’s the peace of knowing we’re right, and they’re crazy.

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JUNE 19, 2013

bleed like me

Speedo burn I broke away from the rest of the group to The ocean itself wanted me wearing When it comes to spending time in the less; frequently the rough waters check out the situation below my belt, stripping sun, there are no two things I believe managed to untie my swimsuit’s draw- down to inspect myself in the mirror. Could it be in more than speedos and sunblock. So string and yank the trunks away, and I a sunburn? I’d been so careful! when some ultra–hip straight friends Suddenly it hit me. In my sheer excitement often came up with my shorts around invited my partner and me to a private my ankles. At this point, the Speedo to switch swimsuits, I had completely forgotbeach vacation in Mexico, I made sure ten to reapply sunblock, having coated only the was the conservative option. to pack plenty of both. Perhaps a little too excited, I lower half of my legs. Even though the swim My aversion to tanning made me, changed from the boring board shorts briefs didn’t look as ridiculous as I thought, I had for years, an easy target for nasty managed to pull off the to a nice, tiny, sunburns – so during the first couple of Scott McGlothlen tight brief cut, most ridiculous sunburn days in Mexico I was sure to pile on the of my life – my body knowing full protection. But the one thing I didn’t remained pale except for put on was my skimpy swimsuit. I opted for well that I was going my bright red and painmy ordinary board shorts, thinking my friends to look ridiculous and That evening, my thighs began fully–stinging thighs. that wouldn’t understand the bond between a gay double–checking to itch. To rule out the thought The stupid sunburn I didn’t out–gay myself man and his speedo. made it miserable People from the U.S. seem to see a Speedo as among the straight men that the bed I was sleeping in wearing underwear. And vulgar and exposing, as if the swim brief’s sole in the group. Our friends could be infected with crabs, I I could no longer end my purpose is to exhibit the owner’s junk for unwill- cheered me on that I’d checked that my partner didn’t nights relaxing in the hot ing viewers – in reality it combines comfort and finally stopped overtub; the hot water felt style without hang–ups about the human body. thinking things. have itchy thighs too. Luckily like insult to injury. Even That evening, my In other words, it lets your crotch feel European. he was clear. a little sexual recreation We began a routine heading to the beach thighs began to itch. To with my man turned into just after we woke up, and by the third day our rule out the thought that lady travel mates reached a new comfort level the bed I was sleeping in could be infected with an excruciating task. In my excitement for something a little more with their husbands and gay friends as they crabs, I checked that my partner didn’t have itchy tossed their tops aside for some maximum sun thighs too. Luckily he was clear. But by the time fun, I’d forgotten to wear protection. And for coverage. I figured this was the sign to finally dinner ended, the itching turned to a full–fledged that, I got burned. wear my speedo. If they could whip out their burning – the mere sensation of shorts brushing r Email Scott at BleedLikeScott@gmail.com. against my skin became absolutely painful. boobs, certainly I could whip out my thighs.

d ‘‘

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JUNE 19, 2013

pride 2013

With progress made, Pride will continue Reflection by Terrell Wallin

photo by Nikki Kushner 18

JUNE 19, 2013

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More than 300,000 people gathered in Denver’s Civic Center June 15 and 16 to support the LGBT community in Denver. It touches the heart to see friends celebrate the freedom to love one another and advance equality in Colorado and beyond, and during the year LGBT Coloradoans and allies finally won the hard-fought battle to establish civil unions in the state, many Pride–goers speculated on what comes next – and what comes after even full marriage equality is gained. “I think that’s the thing,” Leighanne Weigand said. “We’ve been fighting for marriage equality for so long, that we don’t really know where to go from there once we get it.” Some said that goal – increasingly foreseeable as more states establish equal marriage and the U.S. Supreme Court prepares to issue its first–ever rulings related to same-sex marriage this month – is the finish line for the movement. “Making gay marriage legal; it’s a natural progression,” Ralph said, who was visiting from Seattle. “I think that’s the pinnacle.” Carlos Martinez, chief executive officer for The GLBT Community Center of Colorado, the organization producers of PrideFest, said the effort will continue toward ensuring equality and that means keeping the systems of government accountable for the laws that they pass when marriage equality is realized. Martinez remembers the social change that took place in civil rights during the ’60s and ’70s, including the laws put into place by the government – and that the laws put into place were not always followed by all levels of government. He said accountability must be a next step. “You have to make sure that the systems are also there to support us,” Martinez said. “Otherwise, there’s no point to those laws.” For others, like Grace Franklin and Sonnny Apodaca, equality for all means continuing to work toward dispelling stereotypes. “There’s still a huge stigma in the world about coming out and saying, ‘I’m gay,’” Apodaca said. Franklin said she is especially passionate about adoption, which in some states or through some agencies can be complicated or difficult for same-sex couples. “I think adoption needs to be changed, because the concept of family is so skewed in mainstream media that same-sex couples don’t get the same treatment,” she said. As a community we have the power to show the world who we are. Pride is a time where people come together and show this to be true – which is part of what makes this annual summertime celebration such a wonderful time of year.

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JUNE 19, 2013

On the

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PRIDE PARADE AND FESTIVAL x June 15 and 16, 2013 photos by Gary Stefanski

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e Blush & Blu to Civic Center Dyke march x June 15, 2013 photos by Laura Baccus

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JUNE 19, 2013

CoVeR SToRY

a c i r e m A Q t B lG across an evolving nation A journey l Yost l By Michae

mon by Evan Se

ara, Jessica Jen LaBarb s, e d a o h R eil hompson Pictured: N nd Daniel T a ra ra a C Wilson, Jeff

JUne 19, 2013

CoVeR SToRY

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From around the nation come strikingly similar stories of fortitude despite discrimination, and a cautious optimism that more Americans are changing their views to favor equality.

Aida Manduley, Guaynabo, Puerto Rico and Providence, Rhode Island Though Aida Manduley grew up in a bustling tourist magnet bordering Puerto Rico’s capital San Juan, she described her childhood tinged with feelings of isolation – forced to keep quiet about who she really was. “Growing up in Puerto Rico, I went to the same private school from pre-K to twelfth grade,” Manduley said. Her house was only a five-minute walk to school: “my world was geographically a little bit more limited I think than for some other people.” A vacation destination, Manduley’s hometown of Guaynabo features numerous tourist attractions, such as the Caparra Ruins containing the historic remains of the first Capitol of Puerto Rico founded by Juan Ponce de Leon in 1508. Guyanabo and the adjacent capital city have a combined population of more than 450,000 – but despite living in a busy city surrounded by bustling commuters and tourists, Manduley felt alone. Her family studied under Jehovah Witnesses, and she described a caustic environment for anyone struggling with their sexual orientation. “A lot of things were bad and sinful, including any degree of homosexuality. That was definitely part of my upbringing.” Her mother had her suspicions, finding Manduley’s journal while cleaning her daughter’s room. “It’s kind of hilarious,” Manduley said. “At that point, I was not really enthralled by male anatomy at all. I had drawn a big penis and crossed it out and just wrote ewww.” Manduley was hesitant to come out to her friends at school, as there was no infrastructure of support for LGBT youth. “No one, I mean no one in high school – no one in my school,

period – identified as queer. There was no GSA. There was no discussion about sexuality.” But in her isolation, Manduley found a bastion through online social networks, such as MySpace, where she identified her sexual orientation as “unspecified,” garnering more suspicions from her family. “The first people that I came out to were friends that I had online,” she said. “Those were the people I was talking to about my life, and that’s where I was having deeper conversations.” Manduley graduated high school in 2007 and left Puerto Rico to attend Brown University in Providence, Rhode Island. During her senior year, Manduley’s mother and grandmother flew up to visit. They were sitting in a hotel room when her mother asked if she was queer, the word Manduley used to identify herself. And Manduley finally confirmed her mother’s suspicions. “It was like a really bad coming out movie,” she said. “My grandmother started to cry. She said she was going to have a heart attack. They kind of started ignoring me in that moment, and they were just talking among themselves that it was the Devil talking. It was a really bad, emotional time, because they were invoking this idea of, it’s not really being me. They started talking about how disappointed they were. How they expected better of me. How I ruined my life. How they couldn’t believe this.” Her parents now avoid the topic. After graduating Brown with a degree in Gender and Sexuality Studies, Manduley remained in Providence and now works at a domestic violence agency and a sexuality resource center. The contrast between where she lives now and where she grew up is

sharp. There are a plethora of resources for LGBT people in Providence, though the whole state isn’t entirely tolerant. “It’s about finding the pockets that will be friendly and most welcoming.” But Manduley said she sees the beginnings of transformation in Puerto Rico. “In this last election, there were a few parties that came up, some of them riding specifically on feminism and LGBT rights and workers rights. That was their platform entirely. So that I had never seen before. People were sick of the system that was available and started making new strides to change that.” In May, Puerto Rico’s House of Representatives passed a bill that would protect LGBT individuals from discrimination in the workplace. An additional bill was passed the same month extending protections for same-sex couples regarding gender violence. Both bills are awaiting approval in the Senate. Manduly is hopeful that the momentum carries forward. “Especially as more people come out, and more people say, hey, I have this gay friend, or I have this trans friend, and they start seeing the humanity in others.” _______________________

Andy Le, Seattle, Washington Andy Le grew up in Mukilteo, a suburb north of Seattle, Washington with a population of about 20,000. “It was pretty terrible,” Le said. “In my point of view, it was like living in a small town. There wasn’t a lot going on, and I didn’t really connect with a lot of people there.” Mukilteo is an affluent part of Seattle, with a median household income of $93,120, according to the

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2010 US Census. “It’s funny, because a lot of the greater Seattle area is more liberal. However, there is some wealth in there, and with that I think comes conservative residences. When Washington was trying to pass Referendum 74, driving through Mukilteo, you would see many signs opposing that.” In November of last year, Washington voters approved Referendum 74, granting marriage equality to same-sex couples, with 53 .7 percent of Washington voters supporting the measure. And according to a recent Pew Poll, Seattle ranks 6 out of 79 American cities in support for same-sex marriage recognition. “I think the issue is that with many suburbs it becomes a very heteronormative family community,” Le said. “So, the people there aren’t being exposed to anyone from the LGBT community unless they know a friend or a family member.” Le knew early on that he was gay, but struggled in accepting it, keeping it to himself even after graduating high school in 2005. “I think part of it was family. I have a Vietnamese father. And within my Vietnamese family, I’ve heard anti-gay remarks or just things that made me feel like that part of my family didn’t feel it was ‘natural.’” Even after arriving at the University of Colorado, Boulder, a principally liberal and accepting university, Le felt he had to remain in the closet until 2009, four years after he stared college. “When I got to Boulder, I lived with a bunch of roommates who were from Thornton. That actually ended up being a very homophobic environment. So, it wasn’t until after I moved out of there that I came out to people.” Continued on page 26 JUNE 19, 2013

Katie Kiefer is the Communications Organizer for PROMO, Missouri’s leading LGBT advocacy organization working to establish equal rights by educating the public and cultivating legislation to protect the community. “During high school I had a girlfriend, but I covered it up,” Kiefer said, who grew up in the small town of Washington, Missouri. “I had a boyfriend at the same time. He didn’t know. I did it on purpose so that people wouldn’t think that I was having a relationship with another student who was a girl.” Washington is a largely German, Catholic town about 50 miles west of St. Louis. Annual festivals fill the streets, including the Main Street BBQ and Bluefest featuring bands such as the Paul Cockrum Trio, the Bag Lunch Blues Band, and the Kingdom Brothers featuring Matt “the Rattlesnake” Lesch on guitar. “At the time, Washington had a population of about 9,000 or 8,000,” said Kiefer, who attended a private Catholic school her entire life. “I didn’t even know what a homo-

sexual was, which is interesting. Nor did I know what a rainbow flag was. That’s when I for sure thought I was going to hell. I used to go into confessionals, and I wanted to say it, but I’d be afraid to say it out loud.” There was no GSA, nor was there any sign of support for students who might identify themselves as LGBT. “I think there was one girl that people use to talk about who worked in a music store. People used to say, ‘She likes girls. Stay away from her.’ That was it. There was no talking about it.” The most significant change came when she left her hometown to attend the University of St. Louis. “It was the most amazing thing that ever happened to me. I remember it like yesterday, meeting my first real lesbian friend. I was 19, and I just had no idea of the world that was out there. Gay bars. A gay neighborhood. Totally friendly.” It was then Kiefer felt comfortable enough to finally come out. She said, “I started to do drag and really understand what gender identity was and really take on that concept and become fully trained and inclusive as a person and understand the whole community in itself.” Her family wasn’t as understanding, and she was forced to see a doctor or lose the financial support of her parents. Kiefer’s mother wrongly thought the doctor performed reparative therapy, a controversial therapy that works to change a person’s sexual orientation. “The doctor asked, what percent sure are you that you’re gay? And I was like, 99.7 percent. And he’s like, what are you doing here? The doctor was actually the best thing for me because he was super supportive, and he was my therapist for eight years after that.” Reflecting on her childhood, Keifer said biggest challenge for her was religious indoctrination. “I thought something was wrong with me. I think that guilt was the hardest thing in high school.” Her experiences became the initiative to work at establishing protections for LGBT Missourians, and she is amazed at the progress being made. “I know a lot of people say this. I’m 33, and being out for about fourteen years, I really cannot believe how fast that this has come along.” PROMO is currently working to establish a statewide initiative that would protect LGBT individuals from discrimination in the workplace and in housing. Only 11 cities in Missouri currently have anti–discrimination protection. And Kiefer’s own mom has come around. “She might as well

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Continued from page 25 When Le finally did tell his parents, his mother said she had already known. His father at first thought his son was joking. “They know, and they love me,” Le said, “but for some reason we don’t talk about it. My parents don’t really talk about anything.” Le now lives close to downtown Seattle in a district called Capitol Hill, working in the university district. Similar to Denver’s own Capitol Hill neighborhood, the area has a thriving LGBT presence, hosting its 39th Pride Parade this year coupled with the city’s first ever Trans Pride. “In almost every single business, restaurant and store, you’ll see signs of friendliness towards the LGBT community. You’ll see patrons who are not afraid to be with their partner. I’m constantly being reminded when my partner touches me, and I kind of move away from a natural reaction, or a social reaction I guess, he reminds me that it’s Seattle and no one cares.” “I think people are definitely becoming more accepting,” Le said. “You’re always going to have those who don’t agree, but I think the more bills that pass and the increase in supporters are going to allow people to interact more with the community.” _______________________

Katie Kiefer, Washington, Missouri

JUNE 19, 2013

be a PFLAG mom,” Kiefer said. “She’s changed a lot. I opened up her eyes. I opened up my grandmother’s eyes. My father is not. He is really heavily involved in the Catholic Church. At that church you do not talk about it.” But it’s sharing personal stories that Kiefer thinks is the catalyst in shaping the future of LGBT rights in small towns like Washington, Missouri. “More and more people living in those communities being out, I do think that that would help it to change in the next decade. I think it already has so far.” _______________________

Neil Rhoades, Indianapolis, Indiana, Denver, Colorado

ing LGBT people, no state laws regarding workplace discrimination against LGBT people and no form of relationship recognition for same-sex couples – Rhoades’ account is testimony to how much individual families, communities and experiences can vary within a region. He noted he’s seen struggles; “The struggles I went through were the worst in high school,” he said. “But I think that is every high school, really. I dated girls to make sure no one picked on me too much, and playing sports helped with feeling normal, too, I think.” Rhoades is a traveler – around the United States as well as abroad – and said he’s more self–conscious of his sexuality abroad. “When my best friends and I went to Morocco two years ago, we were warned to make sure we didn’t do anything overtly homosexual,” he said. Since moving to Denver he’s found it an easy place to call home. “Here are so many people from the Midwest, or people who went to school in the Midwest, which has made it easier for me. I felt like while living in Indianapolis, I knew everyone in the [LGBT] community, and here in Denver, I meet new people all the time while I’m out and about that are supportive of me.” _______________________

Jen Jones, Drewry, North Carolina

Neil Rhoades grew up in Indianapolis – Indiana’s dominating metropolitan area of more than 1.5 million, on a cultural crossroads between the Midwest, Great Lakes region and the Rust Belt. He said he’s lucky to come from a background that was open and supportive of his sexuality. Rhoades came out when he was 18 years old, just out of high school. “My mother had concerns about health due to STD’s and stuff,” he said, “but once I educated her she was much more at ease – my entire family has embraced the two boyfriends that I’ve introduced them to over the years. One of the biggest reasons I am still so close to my family, is largely due to feeling like I can talk to them about anything I have going on, and still be accepted and loved.” In a state with relatively little for LGBT people to find support in when it comes to state law – Indiana has no hate crime statute protect-

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The recent nationwide groundswell of support is even being felt in the most sparsely–populated areas. Jen Jones is the Director of Communications for Equality NC, a nonprofit fighting for North Carolinian LGBT rights. Born in 1975, Jones was raised in Drewry, North Carolina. “Population about 2,500. No stop light,” Jones said. She grew up on a tobacco farm, part of a longstanding agricultural heritage in North Carolina with roots that go back to the 1660s. Tradition is part of what defines the community, and it was here Jones came out as a lesbian when she was only 16, dating a girl in her high school who was one year younger, and not out. “My mother responded poorly. Accused me of doing bad things to another child. My father, who I informed at the same time, told me I should have lied to my mother when she asked me. It was incredibly hard because there was no real support system, and I was the only out person at my high school that I knew of.” Complicating matters was the fact

that Jones’ girlfriend’s father was a coach and her mother a librarian at the only high school in the county. “Everyday going to school was a little challenging, knowing that the mother of my girlfriend who was fifteen years old knew we were in a relationship.” Even today, there has only been a modicum of progress for LGBT students in Warren County, NC. “You fast forward twenty years later, and they’re still working through the growing pains of having an LGBT community in a small rural southern town. Only recently have they started clubs and groups in the county to help high school students with the coming out process.” Jones graduated high school in 1993 and attended the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. “Once again, I felt like I was the only gay person in a much bigger school of 25,000. But I think it was just a product of the time, and not many people were out.” This was before Facebook, before MySpace, before Google was even a search engine. “Before social media, we had to be social. Clubs and bars became our church for the experience of coming out and being accepted. Those were the types of places we went to feel more welcome and have a sense of unity.” It was also in the university’s rugby team, the Tar Heels, that Jones and other lesbians found what she called an oasis. “So again, sports was the common denominator, at least for lesbians on campus,” Jones joked. But despite the lack of support growing up, Jones was able to cultivate acceptance with the people she met. Her relationship with her parents has also strengthened, and she attributes it all to establishing strong connections with everyone around her. “I’ve always said I understand homophobia, especially in the South. I understand being afraid of something you don’t understand and you don’t relate to. I very much made it a process of infiltrating straight friends and family, letting them get to know me, letting them understand my experiences, and then coming out slowly. That leads to a less-quick process of evolving in the South, but it’s truly the way we do things.” After graduating college, Jones earned a law degree from North Carolina Central University. She now uses her education and experience to reach the people in the same types of communities she grew up in. “To have a southern accent, to have grown up on a tobacco farm, to be from a rural community and

to understand what it takes to move people on that level. And it’s not often talking about rights or equality or even fairness, but talking more about the harms conveyed neighbor to neighbor of these types of regressive legislative initiatives.” In May of last year, North Carolinians voted 61 to 39 percent to amend the state’s constitution, not only defining marriage between one man and one woman, but also invalidating all civil unions or domestic partnerships, regardless if the couple is straight or gay. “Amendment 1, if there was a victory in that fight, it was the fact that we were more visible than we have ever been,” said Jones. “We had more conversations than had ever been carried on in the state, and in the most unlikely places, with people who had not normally talked about those issues.” Jones said the best way to reach the LGBT youth is not to just promise it will get better years down the road. “The best thing we can do for a sixteen year old who’s in a rural part of the South is to share stories of other sixteen year olds who are living and working and happy and out in those same types of communities, showing them it not only gets better, but it can be better right now. You don’t have to move to New York or San Francisco to find that acceptance.” Equality NC is currently working to establish LGBT statewide nondiscrimination protection so more North Carolinians can come out, share their stories, and support campaigns against legislation like Amendment 1 without the fear of losing their job or housing. _______________________

Jen LaBarberA, Fredonia, New York, Denver, Colorado

For many who have moved to Colorado, the state’s recent passage of civil unions, along with having

“I’ve always said I understand homophobia, especially in the South. I understand being afraid of something you don’t understand and you don’t relate to. I very much made it a process of infiltrating straight friends and family, letting them get to know me, letting them understand my experiences, and then coming out slowly. That leads to a less-quick process of evolving in the South, but it’s truly the way we do things.” -Jen Jones more out LGBT legislators than any other state, is a hopeful sign of things to come in other parts of the nation. “Denver is amazing,” said Jen LaBarbera, who moved to Denver three years ago and is now working toward a Masters Degree in Librarian Information Science at the University of Denver. “We have a lot of work to do still, but just what I’ve seen in the past three years that I’ve lived here, politically it’s been huge.” LaBarbera grew up in Fredonia, New York, population just over 11,000. The small town hosts an annual tree lighting ceremony in December, and features horse– drawn trolley tours through the Forest Hill Cemetery every October during the harvest moon. “It’s a very small town, a little bit rural. There were a total of two out boys in my high school, and that was it. And they were, of course, my friends.” LaBarbera didn’t come out until she left for Smith College in Massachusetts. “It’s not that I was afraid, necessarily, of coming out. It just didn’t seem like it would be an option.” Her school had no GSA, but LaBarbera and her friends started their own support group her senior year. “During Pride Month we put up a couple of signs on our lockers saying we were allies. They were ripped down by some students. I was called a ‘f*cking dyke’ by one of the boys in my class, but it didn’t feel like a threat, it just felt like he was trying to prove he was macho.” The climate has changed for the better since she graduated high school in 2003. Keeping in contact with one of her teachers, LaBarbera learned that there are now a lot more openly gay students. “She said it’s sort of getting to the point where it is a non-issue from her perspective.” LaBarbera came out while earning a double major in Women’s Studies and Govern-

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ment. “I eventually adopted the term ‘queer’ because it seems more open, and a little bit more true to who I’m actually attracted to.” LaBarbera worked a year and a half in Kansas City for Planned Parenthood before moving to Denver. “The things that have happened in Colorado in the past three years, obviously that has not happened in Kansas or Missouri. They will eventually, but it’s definitely a lot more accepting [here].” LaBarbera said the progressive shift in LGBT acceptance across American is due largely to more visibility than ever before, coupled with more out legislators than ever before. “Now politicians left and right are saying they believe gay marriage is a right,” she said. But she also feels there is much more work to be done in bringing together individuals who are not as visible on the national stage. “We need to focus our energies on the T part of our community. We have to talk about class and economic issues, disabled folk, along with bullying and the homeless queer youth.” LaBarbera emphasized that the intersections regarding race and gender expression were especially important. “Denver’s queer scene, it’s mostly white and it’s mostly gay men. But it’s also, once you find your people, you realize there are a lot more of them than you might think.” Whether growing up in a crowded metropolis on the coast or in a rural community in the South, LGBT folks throughout the nation emphasized the importance of being visible, sharing personal stories of perseverance, and establishing a platform of candid discourse not only with those who oppose LGBT rights, but within the community itself. “We need to have those really honest conversations and be willing to take action where we need to take action,” said LaBarbera. JUNE 19, 2013

FEATURE

the beAR-y best wrangler bartender wins Bar wars title as establishment celebrates 15 years Photo by charles broshous

JUNE 19, 2013

COVER STORY

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By Matthew Pizzuti

With such highly–visible jobs in the community, bartenders often become the gay scene’s local celebrities – seen by hundreds of people on a busy night and in supreme control over the defining element of bar–going nightlife: your drinks. But Daniel Romero, who has been working at the Denver Wrangler for nine years now, is the farthest they come from elitist. “The Wrangler has a great group of people,” Romero said. “And at the bar they go the extra mile to provide customer service. It really puts a smile on someone’s face when you remember someone’s name, and memorize their favorite drink.” The Wrangler’s general manager Phil Newland verified: “He’ll make your drink once, and you’ll never have to remind him what you like again,” he said. Maybe that’s why Romero got so much love from the community May 19, when he was chosen by bar patrons – from among heavyweight competition of the top bartenders at gay and lesbian watering–holes across Central Denver – as the winner of Bar Wars, a community fundraiser for the Colorado AIDS Project. During the weeks before May 19, a $1 placard bought by customers at The Black Crown, Blush & Blu, Broadways, X Bar or at any other participating hangout was a vote to send the patron’s chosen bartender to the Bar Wars finals at Charlie’s. At the big Sunday afternoon event, the finalists faced off in an all–out mixology marathon, vying to win points for the best–tasting drinks and most breathtaking glass– juggling flare. The judging was done by the public – anyone who bought a $10 bracelet could participate and drink, and the event raised more than $5,500 for CAP. Romero said he doesn’t know what ultimately put him ahead for the win. “It was my first time doing anything like that,” he said, “and the flair part was stressful. That kind of thing” – like hurling liquor bottles, juggling shakers or stacking dozens of drink glasses to fill them at once with a single shimmering fountain of booze – “isn’t typical in bars.” Newland chimed in, “because it gets expensive.” Even the best performers would break an occasional bottle or glass. But Romero was peachy about his performance at Bar Wars; “I didn’t drop anything,” he said with a modest smile. Speaking of peachy: Romero’s signature shot at Bar Wars was a peach lemon iced tea. His cocktail, a “Wrangler Red” – a citrus vodka

sour with a splash of cranberry and a dash of grenadine – is is own invention, and his favorite drink to make. His least favorite? A lemon drop. Romero said they’re labor–intensive for what you get out of it, and he doesn’t like the taste. “I hope that everyone doesn’t start ordering them now because I said that,” he said. While it will be interesting to see how Romero – who came across as a very soft–spoken, humble and laid–back guy – soaks up the glory of his Bar Wars win and resulting bragging rights, the Wrangler is celebrating a moment of its own, marking its fifteenth anniversary in Denver this year. The Wrangler’s owner, Chris Dawkins, has been with it through the stretch, since opening the current location on the corner of 17th and Logan in 1997 – the same spot where it is now, but at the time a much smaller portion of its building; The Wrangler has been expanded multiple times since then. “The funny story is The Wrangler was supposed to open Portland, but Denver is a better city to do business in,” Newland said. “After a year it moved here. It’s truly a blue jeans and t-shirt kind of place, where it doesn’t matter how tall, short, fat or skinny you are. Just leave the attitude at the door, be yourself, and have a great time.” And many patrons would agree – the Wrangler is known especially as Denver’s “bear bar.” Although that phrase is fairly widely–recognized in the gay community, both Romero and Newland had to stop and think a moment to explain exactly what being a “bear” means. “What defines the bear community? There are a lot of sides,” Romero said. “Anybody who’s hairy, anybody who’s – I don’t like to say ‘fat,’ I say ‘fluffy.’ I think part of the community is very concerned about personal image, fitness and body size. I think the bear community can be more forgiving.” The Wrangler is located at 1700 Logan Street. r More info on The Wranger online at DenverWrangler.com. Outfrontonline.com

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JUNE 19, 2013

Photo by Rick cummings

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Little Dragon 1305 Krameria Street, G Denver CO 80220 • 303-322-2128 LittleDragonDenver.com

INTERVIEW:

Chef ryan Leinonen Hamburger Mary’s 700 East 17th Avenue Denver, CO 80203 • (303) 832-1333 HamburgerMarys.com/denver

The master chef and owner of Trillium on local cuisine By Jeffrey Steen

Serioz Pizzeria 1336 East 17th Avenue Denver, CO 80218 • (303) 997-7679 SeriozPizza.com

DJ’s 9th Avenue Cafe DJ’s 9th Avenue Cafe 865 Lincoln St. Denver CO 80203 • 303-386-3375 DjsCafe.biz/.com

The Melting Pot 2707 W. Main Street, Littleton, CO 80120 • (303)-794-5666 MeltingPot.com

JUNE 19, 2013

SOCIAL

YOU CAN’T SWING A SPORK IN DENVER WITHOUT HITTING A TOP-NOTCH CHEF. THAT BEING SAID, THERE ARE A FEW WHO ARE BLAZING NEW TRAILS – IN THE REALM OF SCANDINAVIAN CUISINE, FOR INSTANCE. CHEF RYAN LEINONEN OF THE NOW TWOYEAR-OLD TRILLIUM IN LODO HAS GIVEN US A NEW TEMPTATION FOR OUR PALATES. INSTEAD OF COLORADO-CENTRIC GAME MEATS OR EUROPEAN SAUCINESS, HE’S OPTED FOR THE FLAVORS OF THE ICY NORTH – THINK FISH OF EVERY KIND, ROE, PICKLED VEGETABLES, HEAD CHEESE. AND WHILE THAT MIGHT SEEM A BIT OF A STRETCH FOR YOUR AVERAGE DENVERITE, LEINONEN HAS MANAGED TO REEL THEM IN. I GOT A CHANCE TO CHAT WITH HIM ABOUT HIS COLORFUL INSPIRATION, AND HOW TRILLIUM HAS BECOME A SOUGHTAFTER CULINARY DESTINATION IN THE MILE HIGH CITY. jeff steen: Your background starts in Michigan, what led you to Colorado? chef RyAn leinonen: After I graduated from the Culinary Program at Schoolcraft College, I went to Eastern Michigan University to study hospitality management, where I met my wife, Taffy. After we both graduated, we decided it was in our best interests to leave Michigan and pursue life out West. Denver seemed like the logical choice: a beautiful city, a blooming culinary scene, lots of skiing, and great people. js: Among other spots, you’ve spent time behind the line at The Kitchen (Boulder) and Colt & Gray (Denver) – both of which are keen OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

on locally-sourced fare. chef Rl: I’ve always been interested in where the food I cook comes from. I did some farmto-table work in Michigan before I moved out to Colorado, but once I started working at The Kitchen in Boulder, it changed from an interest into a passion. Chef Hugo [at The Kitchen] taught me a lot about procuring local ingredients and why it’s so important. As the chef de cuisine, I ended up developing a lot of long-lasting relationships with local farmers that I’m proud to say I keep to this day. A short while afterwards, I worked at Colt & Gray. It was at C&G that I helped develop a lot of the farmer-restaurant relationships. I just have a lot of respect for all farmers and ranchers. It’s hard work and requires a ton of passion and energy – probably more than being a chef. js: When you opened Trillium in 2011, it’s safe to say there weren’t any Scandinavian restaurants in town. Why did you pick that concept? chef Rl: [Laughs] I still say there are no Scandinavian restaurants in Denver. I never intended Trillium to be strictly a Scandinavian restaurant, though. The concept was to develop an American bistro in which the food and space were focused and inspired by the foods of Scandinavia and the American Great Lakesrather than the same by the cuisines of France, Italy, and the Mediterranean. In 2010, I was able to spend some time in Finland and Sweden in the late summer during harvest time. I ate my way through both countries – from farmers’ markets to fine dining – and came back with an inspiration that was closely tied to some of my grandmother’s food from childhood. Over the years, I’ve been really interested in the cuisine at Noma and Aquavit in New York City; similar to those concepts, my

idea was to bring an American bistro to Denver focused on farm to table cuisine, incorporating some traditional and modern Scandinavian fare into a core menu of New American fare. JS: For those of us who aren’t familiar, can you touch some of the fundamental flavors and dishes of Scandinavian cuisine? Chef RL: Scandinavian cuisine was originally born out of necessity. It’s very focused on fish, lean meats, dairy, vegetables (especially root vegetables), and foraged mushrooms, Nordic berries, and other edible forest goodies. Preparations were based on how to preserve those ingredients over time because of the short Scandinavian growing season and long, cold winters. Techniques such as salt curing, pickling, and smoking are prevalent, and we utilize these every day at Trillium. The resurgence of this truly old cuisine is important, because it tends to be healthier and focused on core practices of seasonal and farm-totable cooking. You only eat what’s coming out of the ground during a specific season, and you make the most of what you have. It relies heavily on the sea as well, because of the specific topography of Scandinavia – sandwiched between the North Sea and the Baltic Sea. In traditional Scandinavian fare, flavors tend to be simple, straightforward, and a bit on the bland side, but are brightened with vinegar and other acids, salts, cheeses, and some of the wonderful hearth baking that is renowned in this part of the world. Herbs and spices such as dill, horseradish, cardamom, lavender, cinnamon, citrus, caraway, and anise are also pretty common.

JS: I’ve been told there’s a new dinner series in the works. Tell us about that. Chef RL: Last October through this past February, we featured a monthly “Scandinavian Dinner Series,” where for one day every month we feature modern twists on traditional fare from a specific country in Scandinavia, like Sweden for example. This four-course dinner with pairings is separate from regular dinner service (although we do offer our regular menu as well), and gives us a chance to dive deeper into the specific cuisine of that month’s particular country, offer our guests a truer experience of this cuisine, and have fun while doing it. We even had the pleasure to host Jenna Johansen as a guest chef for our Denmark Dinner in January. After a great response to every dinner last winter, we decided to bring back the series this year and showcase the summer foods of Scandinavian countries. We’ll bring back the winter series again in the fall. JS: No doubt the building of a restaurant from scratch is a monumental feat. Can you offer some stories? Chef RL: Ha! Where to begin? I could write a book on that alone. Building Trillium was one of the most fun and most challenging things I’ve ever done. As far as the cooking, I have at least 20 years of stories I can share. I’ve been fortunate to cook for many celebrities (Will Farrell, Lisa Loeb, Jeff Daniels, and Jennifer Garner to name just a few), but I really just enjoy the daily grind of putting my head down and cooking great food for our guests. Trillium, 2134 Larimer St. r TrilliumDenver.com

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Chef Chef Ryan Leinonen’s Curried Pickled Cauliflower (makes three heads) Ingredients 2 c cider vinegar 2 c Champagne vinegar 4 c water 2 tsp kosher salt 1-1/2 tsp curry powder 4 tsp yellow mustard seed 4 tsp brown sugar 3 large heads cauliflower, cut into florets Method Place all ingredients except cauliflower in a pot and bring to a boil. Pour liquid over cauliflower florets in mason jars and seal. Store for several days or weeks and use as needed/desired.

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Peter and the Starcatcher

August 15 – September 1 1101 13th St. • Denver, CO 80204 r DenverCenter.org

There’s no place like Oz:

The Wizard of Oz

May 18 - August 31 5501 Arapahoe Ave • Boulder, CO 80303 r bouldersdinnertheatre.com

Return to the Emerald City with Boulder’s Dinner Theatre By Kristin Ziegler

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

September 13 - October 13 2450 W Main Street Littleton, CO 80120 r townhallartscenter.com

Zikr Dance Ensemble presents Sacred Spaces II June 28 - June 29

PACE Center • 20000 Pikes Peak Avenue Parker, CO 80138 • r PACEcenteronline.org

The Hobbit

July 9 – July 25 9900 E Colfax Ave • Aurora, CO 80010 r aurorafoxartscenter.org

Curtains

July 5 - July 28 6901 Wadsworth Blvd • Arvada, CO 80003 r arvadacenter.org

An Evening Under the Stars

August 29 Arvada Center • 6900 Wadsworth Blvd. Arvada, CO 80003 • r ColoradoBallet.org

JUne 19, 2013

SoCiAl

Among the relics of classic gay pop culture are disco beats and divas, drag queens impersonating the tragic starlets of Hollywood’s Golden Age, and the “Castro Clone” donning his leather harness, a masculine mustache and a handkerchief tucked mischievously in the back pocket of his Levis. These images have been clutched to and cherished by some who lived them, while younger waves of radical queers rebelled against them. These icons would later become again appreciated by a new, anachronistic generation, who nostalgically longed for the times of Studio 54 and Harvey Milk, before the tragedy of AIDS. And now, there are people who have all but forgotten, or never even learned. To them, Tom of Finland is now Andrew Christian. Bette Davis has faded, while Kristen Stewart’s filmography is easily recited. And disco is maybe sometimes that one verse sampled on a dub step track. Though no matter how much time has passed and how many pop trends have shifted and cycled through, there is one bit of retro gay culture that has managed to remain timeless and beloved… The Wizard of Oz. Through its many adaptations from book to screen to stage, the story of a young girl who dreams of a different, more vibrant, exciting, and colorful life away from her oppressive, humdrum, black and white existence has always resonated with LGBTQ audiences. And even if the message isn’t immediately obvious to the gay viewer, the whimsical tale has become integral to almost every American kid’s childhood. And so, for whatever reason one may love Wizard of Oz (and we all absolutely do), the Boulder Dinner Theatre’s production of the classic tale is sure to please. The performance, which was brought to the BDT’s stage by director and choreographer Alicia Dunfee and artistic director/directing producer Michael J. Duran, features all of the classic songs fans of the Judy Garland film adaptation we’ll always know by heart, as well as some additionOutfrOntonline.cOm

al fun and infectious song and dance numbers. One of the additional dance scenes includes a truly crafty human realization of the tornado that carries Dorothy away. Aerial dancers dressed in sinister wigs and flashy silver suits played the natural disaster, and proved to be a real crowd pleaser. The creativity in bringing such a huge production to a small theater stage does not stop there, however- wait until you see how they (mighty resourcefully) brought to life the munchkins! Never outshined by the creativity of the set, the show’s main cast did a great job capturing the heart of their so-cherished characters. BDT newbie Sarah Grover was adorable as Dorothy, as were her pals the Tin Man (great tap dancing!), Scarecrow, and the Cowardly Lion (played by Bob Hoppe, Scott Beyette, and Seth Caikowski, respectively). An additional shout-out belongs to Caikowski, whose endearing performance of the Cowardly Lion was only enhanced by, and not defined by, the stunning make up and costuming of his character. Glinda the Good Witch’s dress was also one of the show’s most memorable. A dazzling and shimmering pink number, it’s sure to be the object of theft fantasies had by any drag queens possibly in the audience. And while each performer and techie involved in the show deserves a special round of applause, the final standing ovation belongs to Max. Playing the role of Toto, the curly-haired and floppy–eared pup was remarkably well–trained, and obviously well-loved by the cast and audience alike. It’s just right that the Boulder Dinner Theater would host a production of The Wizard of Oz during the month of June, Pride month. This production is a fun way to celebrate our community’s past and culture, and to celebrate ourselves – appreciating the childhood memories that made us and the day-dreaming Dorothy-type who still resides somewhere within us all. ‘The Wizard of Oz’ plays at Boulder’s Dinner Theatre, 5501 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder 80303, through August 31. r More info on tickets and showtimes online at BouldersDinnerTheatre.com.

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JUne 19, 2013

ASK A SlUT

Pretend they’re bubble wrap

Dear Cycle Sluts,

My boyfriend and I went shopping for underwear. He bought a really sexy thong, but when he modeled it for me at home I noticed that he has pimples on his ass. What should I do?

ON THE

SCENE e X bar ❘ BEACH PARTY ❘

photos by Nikki Kushner

Signed, “Thong so wrong” SASSY SQUATCH: If you haven’t noticed his nasty ass whiteheads before now then you’re obviously the “catcher” in this couple! Stop worrying about his bottom, Bottom! ZOEY DIDDIM: Tell him you love him, and then buy him a spa package to take care of his b-acne and pop the pimps on his posterior! JUANA MANN: Just pretend they’re bubble wrap and go for it! Have fun! BEA DAZZLE: Squeeze and pop, squeeze and pop, squeeze and pop! MOLOTOVIA COCKTAIL: You call him your boyfriend and yet you just now notice the pimply ass? ROLONDA FLOR: Just suck on it till it tastes salty! I’m talking about the thong, not the pimples. LATEXA D’VYNAL: Use a paddle as foreplay to pop those suckers! r Email to AskASlut@gmail.com. For more info, visit DenverCycleSluts.net. 34

JUne 19, 2013

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On the

SCENE e McNichols Building

Corkyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pool party x June 15, 2013 photos by Charles Broshous

JUNE 19, 2013

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SCENE e Charlieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pool Party PRide x June 16, 2013 photos by Charles Broshous

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bar tab

Weekly recurring drink specials from Out Front’s Bar Tab members e Aqua Lounge – Facebook.com/Aqua.Denver Mondays: Karaoke hosted by Adam from 8 p.m. till close. Tuesdays: Mil Hi Bullseye Dart League! Open play and free darts from 10 p.m. - 2 a.m., league play from 7-10 p.m. Wednesdays: Wet Wednesday Dance party with DJ Tatiana and GoGo Dancers // 75 cent beers, $2 wells, $4 Absolut. Thursdays: Karaoke hosted by Dave Myers at 8 p.m. // half-price bar from 8-9 p.m. e Blush & Blu – BlushBluBar.com DAILY HAPPY HOUR: $3 wells, vino, domestics, lattes; $1.50 PBR’s; $4 shots of Fireball everyday (3 p.m. -7 p.m.) // Daily $4 mystery drink or shot bartender special Mondays: Poker Night – Texas Hold ‘em – with dealer Deb Z and prizes! Free to play (7-10 p.m.) Thursdays: $4 “U-call-it” drinks (4 p.m.-midnight) and hip-hop jams Fridays: Top 40 jams and dance party with DJ JodyB (9 p.m.-close) Sundays: Molly’s famous $4 Bloody’s e BoyzTown – BoyzTownDenver.com DAILY HAPPY HOUR: MondayThursday: 3 p.m. till 8 p.m. and Friday–Sunday: noon to 8 p.m. Mondays–Thursdays: Absolut $4.50 “U Call” Fridays & Sundays: Stoli $4.50 “U Call” Fridays–Sundays: 3Olives $4.50 “U Call”

e El Potrero – Facebook.com/el.potrero.180 NO COVER on Wednesdays and Fridays! Wednesdays: Drag Wednesdays with 2-for-1 beers, $3 rum, and vodka specials, $2 drafts Fridays: Go-Go Fridays with $2 rum and vodka specials, $2 drafts, $5 Jose Cuervo, $15 beer buckets and $5 Jager shots e Li’l Devils – LilDevilsLounge.com DAILY HAPPY HOUR: Everyday from 3 p.m. to 8 p.m.: $3 well, wine, domestics and $4 for 22 oz Domestic tanks, 16 oz imports and craft mugs, and call liquors. Tuesdays: Two-for-one beer or cocktails specials starting at 8 p.m. Sundays: Trivia Night! Compete for free drinks and bar tabs, starting at 7:30 p.m., $3 Smifnoff Vodkas e R&R – rrDenver.com WEEKLY HAPPY HOUR: $3 wells and domestics from 3-8 p.m. Mondays–Thursday: 3-7 p.m. on Fridays, and 11 a.m.-7 p.m. on Saturdays and Sundays Wednesdays: PBR and a shot of Jager for $6 (8 p.m. to close) Thursdays: $4 3Olives Vodka drinks ALL DAY Sundays: $3 Bloody Mary’s (11 a.m.-8 p.m.)

e Charlie’s – CharliesDenver.com DAILY BEER SPECIAL: $4 for a 32 oz. domestic pitcher and $8 for a premium pitcher Mondays: Karaoke at 9 p.m. // $2.25 Bacardi (9 p.m.-close) Thursdays: 1/2 price night! Fridays: $10 Buddy Beer Bust (5-8 p.m.) // $3 Absolute (9 p.m.-close) Saturdays: $5 Beer Bust (2-5 p.m.)

e Tracks – TracksDenver.com Mondays: Ultimate Queen Contest with no cover for over 21 and $2 wells until show starts Thursdays: Superstar Night, 18 and up dance party // first 50 guests free // $5 after 10 p.m. Saturdays: Elevated Saturdays with DJ’s Flowers, Sean OGrady and Markie // 2-for-1 drinks from 9-10 p.m. // $5-$10 cover

e Eden Restaurant & Bar – EdenDenver.com DAILY HAPPY HOUR: $3 Domestics and wells, $2 off wines (4 p.m.7 p.m.) // $4 calls and shots (11 p.m.-midnight) Thursdays: Karaoke with DJ Bella Scratch at 9 p.m. Sundays: 10 a.m. Yoga, $7 per class

e Wrangler – DenverWrangler.com Tuesdays: Tightwad Tuesdays with $2 beer grab, $2 wells, and $3.50 domestics // $5 Buy-in pool tournament Wednesdays: Geeks who Drink Pub Trivia (8-10 p.m.) Sundays: $8 Legendary Beer Bust (4-8 p.m.)

Bar Tab is a list of partnering lesbian and gay–friendly bars and venues in Denver, including some of the top destinations in the region for gay nightlife and specials and events every night of the week! 38

JUNE 19, 2013

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4501 E Virginia Ave Denver, Colorado 80246 • (303) 388-8889 www.facebook.com/elpotreroclub

tab

Sponsored by Tuaca

A. Aqua Lounge B. bLush & blu C. BoyzTown D. Charlies E. Eden

F. El Potrero G. Li’l Devils H. Lipstick I. R&R J. Tracks K. Wrangler

989 SHERIDAN BLVD LIPSTICK.US.COM D

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Game Day Saturdays at X Bar CoMe Get SaUCY on ColFaX eVerY SatUrDaY, anD brinG YoUr GaMe! WitH bUY-1-Get-1 HaPPY HoUr FroM 3 P.M. till 8 P.M., beer PonG, Giant JenGa, FliP CUP, Corn Hole anD More! PlUS, Don’t MiSS oUt on tHe DJ JaMS anD tWo DanCe FloorS! DanCe YoUr FaCe oFF in tHe o loUnGe StartinG at 8 P.M. X Bar is located at 629 E. Colfax Ave. r Online at XBarDenver.com.

Skate Party rock–and–roll(s) at EXDO, June 21 DENVER’S LARGEST ROLLER DISCO PARTY IS BACK! Check out the party featuring beats by guest DJ Cat Hartwell from NYC. ROLL happens every third Friday at the EXDO Event Center and even though the theme changes monthly, the party stays the same. Don’t miss Denver’s premiere sound and light show as well as more than 700 pairs of roller skates to rent. Don’t miss the skate-dancing experience of the summer! EXDO Event Center is located at 1399 35th St. r Online at TracksDenver.com.

JUne 19, 2013

SoCial

Eden gets Country on new Western Wednesday nights! EDEN, DENVER’S HEALTHY FOOD HOT-SPOT restaurant and lesbian hangout, is gearing up for a summer of fun. What’s on the dock? Country Wednesdays! According to General Manager Ching-yuan Hu, customers have been requesting a Western– style night. “We have a variety of line dancing lessons lined up that will suit dancers from beginner to intermediate, and it’s free to join,” Hu said. Western Wednesdays start at 6:30 p.m. Eden is located at 3090 Downing St. r Online at EdenDenver.com.

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radioactive vision

Weeding Tips I don’t get high before performing. There are three things I did not expect when I first guard. One of my first times in drag What you see on stage is my natural, at a dance club and all kinds of twinks started doing drag. unaltered crazy state of mind. But and ravers were asking me where 1. People would hit on me. take me mountain camping and they could score some love drug, toot 2. People would buy me drinks. we’ll soon be playing croquet in vitamin K, or Kibbles and bits. I had 3. People would ask me for drugs. the woods. True story. And, as if it’s When I am in drag, I feel as sexual as my grand- no idea what they were talking about. not trippy enough playing stoned mother’s burlap panties. The last thing I want to I don’t know who the big drag queen croquet in BLM forest with logs and drug dealers in town do is leave lipstick stains and glitter rocks obstructing your way, along are, but just because in the crotch of some half-drunk comes a herd of cows grazing across you are seeing my and horny guy in the bathroom of ‘‘ our playing field. John Denver never three boobs does not Broadways, no matter how hot he Nuclia Waste When I am in drag, I wrote a song about that, I can tell mean you can score a is. (If that was you, that was NOT feel as sexual as my trip. It probably did not help that I you. Rocky Mountain High, indeed. me. But I do know who the drag grandmother’s burlap So now our state has done two amazing things was also wearing flashing red lights queen was.) If you are turned on panties. The last thing on the ends of my triple nipples. I in less than a year, legalized weed and legalbecause I am dressed up all freaky, I want to do is leave was a human light show for anyone ized civil unions. I am sure there is some uptight ‘tis you, not me, that is the freak. lipstick stains and glitter preacher in Oklahoma wondered what the hell we rolling on X. As for the drinks, keep them in the crotch of some Now don’t get me wrong. I’m no were smoking when we passed civil unions. Well coming. You might think that the half-drunk and horny goodie platform-two-shoes. I love the former answers the question to the latter. guy in the bathroom of intent of number two would be to Broadways, no matter So the next time you see me, follow my new rules. my edibles and love to get high. And get to number one, but that is not how hot he is. 1. Keep hitting on me. (You won’t get now that pot is legal in our state, I the case. People genuinely just lucky, but I will be flattered.) can finally confess my drug of choice. want to buy me a drink because I 2. Keep buying me drinks. (The more am a drag queen. Sometimes it’s to thank me for Mary Janes are not just shoes for tap dancing. Give I drink, the prettier you get.) all my charitable work. Other times it’s because I me a THC-infused brownie or hunk of chocolate, and 3. Don’t ask me for drugs. Give me some. made them laugh or smile. Other times, it’s because I’m more stoned than the top of Mt. Evans. (Preferably something chewy and chocolate.) I must confess. I am a lightweight. One hit off a chivalry is not dead and men, gay or straight, just feel the need to buy a lady a drink. Well, lady or joint is all I need, or a little brownie crumb. I’ll be flying all night and sometimes it lasts until the next r Nuclia Waste can be reached through her website not, I am happy to toss them down. at NucliaWaste.com. More Nuclia at ofcnow.co/Hx9. It was number three that really caught me off day for breakfast. (This is the BEST omelet EVER!)

JUNE 19, 2013

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According to a 2007 study by Dr. Wendy B. Bostwick at the National Alliance on Mental Illness, LGBT community members are at the highest risk for depression, anxiety, and substance use disorders.

LGBT people seek mental heath care at higher rates What’s behind the statistics? By Rob Barger

I recently heard someone say that there were no recorded mental illnesses in his family since the beginning of time. I had to remind him that many people are too embarrassed by the stigma of mental illnesses to reach out for help they need. Mental illnesses are extremely common – the National Institutes of Mental Health report that more than a quarter of Americans have a diagnosable condition in a given year – and do not make you “crazy.” What does make you crazy is stewing in your own negative thought process for hours, upon days, upon weeks, upon months, upon years. People who do this often end up in a worse state than they originally were, far removed from reality. Ignoring symptoms can be dangerous, and often, mental health issues can be easily dealt with at first, but continue to rapidly grow into a much larger problem. Mayo Clinic describes generalized anxiety disorder to be one such illness in its summary of the condition: “Your worries are unlikely to simply go away on their own, and they may actually get worse over time. Try to seek professional help before your anxiety becomes severe – it may be easier to treat early on.” Because of the way LBGT identities are still treated by society, we are no strangers to mental

illness – nor to stigma. Being in the closet, feeling forced to lie to everyone (including yourself), can be one of the most damaging things that we do to ourselves, and sometimes leaves scars. According to a 2007 study by Dr. Wendy B. Bostwick at the National Alliance on Mental Illness, LGBT community members are at the highest risk for depression, anxiety, and substance use disorders. We are 1.5 times more likely than heterosexuals to be diagnosed with a mental health disorder, and lesbian and bisexual women are 3 times as likely to experience generalized anxiety disorder. Does this indicate causation – the stress of living as a minority exacerbating common minor tendencies towards depression or anxiety into full–blown conditions requiring treatment? Or is it simply correlation – perhaps LGBT people are more willing to speak to mental health professionals in the first place? Statistically, LGBT people seek out mental health services more often than straight people do, but this raises further speculations. Does Outfrontonline.com

this indicate a higher prevalence of mental health issues, or are we just more likely to ask for help when we need it? Perhaps adding another stigma like mental illness feels minor compared to the stigma we already try to overcome as LGBT people? I have neither the resources nor the will to answer that. What I do feel free enough to speculate wildly on is how our community responds to the mental health community – LGBT people and mental health institutions have not had a great relationship in the past. In 1952, the American Psychological Association listed homosexuality in the Diagnostic Statistical Manual (DSM), which practitioners use to guide their diagnoses and track statistics about mental health, as a “sociopathic personality disturbance.” Treatments were often cruel and unusual – the most infamous intervention was electroconvulsive therapy. But the APA has changed – since 1973, same-sex attraction is no longer classified as a mental illness, and in fact the APA chastises those who hold prejudice towards LBGT individuals. An APA task forced released a 2009 report called “Appropriate Therapeutic Responses to Sexual Orientation” finding that “research and clinical literature demonstrate that same-sex sexual and romantic attractions, feelings, and behaviors are normal and positive variations of human sexuality.” More recently in May 2013, the release of the DSM-5 addressed a long–standing struggle within the LGBT community by removing “Gender Identity Disorder” from the manual and instead relying on a more neutral term, “Gender Dysphoria.” Perhaps the evolution of positions of the APA and DSM toward LGBT realities, combined with changing attitudes towards mental health, is leading us closer to becoming the best versions of ourselves. I cannot encourage mental health awareness more. Stay healthy out there, team. Rob Barger is a psychotherapist who is currently the marketing coordinator at Out Front. living

JUNE 19, 2013

get active

The United Church of Christ, Whoever you are and wherever you are on life’s journey, you are welcome here. ARVADA First United Church www.arvadaucc.org

BOULDER First Congregational UCC www.firstcong.net

AURORA Broomfield Parkview Congregational UCC United Church of Broomfield www.parkviewucc.org

www.broomfielducc.org

To locate an Open and Affirming church near you, go to: ofcnow.co/ucc

BOULDER Community UCC

www.cuccboulder.org

LGBT organizations that create movement, change and fun Colorado AIDS Project CAP is a service organization that works to meet the needs of people affected by HIV through prevention, care and advocacy in the state. Get involved/More info: ColoradoAIDSProject.org Colorado Anti-Violence Program The Colorado Anti-Violence Program is a nonprofit and service oriented group that works to build safety and justice for the LGBT community through advocacy, youth organization, training and education of the community. Get involved/More info: COAVP.org Colorado Gay Rodeo Association This CGRA is the oldest gay rodeo association in North America and puts on the annual Rocky Mountain Regional Rodeo each summer. Get involved/More info: CGRA.ws Babes Around Denver Babes Around Denver is a social group focused on connecting the female community. Check out the monthly First Friday celebrations at Tracks! Get involved/More info: BabesArounDenver.com Denver Gay Men’s Chorus A chorale group that exists to build community through music. The members join in the making of an artistic statement that creates a positive contribution in the arts to the LGBT community. Auditions are always open! Get involved/More info: Rmarts.org/DGMC.php Denver Gay Professionals The Denver Gay Professionals is a networking community whose mission is to continually provide a highly-creative and social environment where members and guests are encouraged to network. Get involved/More info: DenverGayProfessionals.com Front Range Bears The Front Range Bears is a social group for hirsute men and their admirers. Every year they sponsor Octobearfest, a 3-4 day international gathering of bears. Accepting new members! Get involved/More info: FrontRangeBears.org

JUNE 19, 2013

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Gender Identity Center of Colorado The GIC of Colorado is a nonprofit organization that provides support, outreach and advocacy to anyone gender variant in their gender identity and expression. Get involved/More: GicOfColo.org Hip Chicks Out Hip Chicks Out is a social group for women. Join the female revolution with the HipChicksOut Crashers. Get involved by joining the party every 2nd Friday of the month at the Living Room. Get involved/More info: HipChicksOut.com HRC Colorado The Human Rights Campaign in Colorado fights for equality for all LGBT people. HRC is always looking for more volunteers. Get involved/More: HRC.org/states/Colorado Keshet Keshet is a national grassroots organization that works for the full equality and inclusion of LGBT Jews in Jewish life. Get invloved/More info: KeshetOnline.org Mile High Freedom Band The MHFB is a charitable organization that serves the LGBT community through quality music. The band is open to ALL who respect the diversities in life, including the LGBT community. Auditions are always open! Get involved/More info: MHFB.org Project Angel Heart An organization that delivers nutritious meals to those living with life threatening illnesses. Get involved by giving back and volunteering! Get involved/More info: ProjectAngelHeart.org The GLBT Community Center of Colorado The state’s largest center for the entire LGBT community. With programs like SAGE (an elder’s program), Rainbow Alley (Youth program), Transgender and Legal Advocacy programs, The Center works to provide support and advocacy for all of Colorado’s diverse LGBT community. The Center also puts on Denver’s annual PrideFest and parade. Get involved/More info: GLBTColorado.org

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JUNE 19, 2013

BIG TOYS

Entry-Level Luxury: Truth or Fiction?

By Jonathan McGrew

When I talk about entry-level, I don’t mean vehicles like the Hyundai Sonata or Mitsubishi Outlander Sport that put luxury features in at a lower price point. I am talking about luxury brands: Audi, BMW, Cadillac, Lexus and MercedesBenz. Can luxury really be entry-level? Our contestants are the 2014 Lexus IS and the 2013 BMW X1. The IS represents our sports sedan and has an all–new design from Lexus for the 2014 model year. The X1 represents our CUV offering, with 2013 models still being hard to find in Denver. The 2014 Lexus IS is the most inexpensive offering for those looking to get into the luxury brand. The redsigned 2014 IS250 costs less than the outgoing model and is equipped with the 2.5-liter 204-hp V6 and starts at an MSRP of $35,950 for the Rear-Wheel Drive. Coloradans might want to pay the extra coin for the All-Wheel Drive (AWD) starting at $38,485. Not too shabby, right? So, why am I questioning entry-level luxury? Food for thought: you can get a fully loaded, full-size and HEMI powered Dodge Charger R/T Max for just over $40K MSRP. So then what about the 2013 BMW X1? The X1 represents the smallest CUV offering from BMW, but still starts at a MSRP $30,800 for the sDrive2.8i. Our test vehicle with all the goodies you expect in a BMW and the larger 3.5-liter V6 TwinTurbo with AWD (xDrive3.5i) stickered at $48,395. This is actually comparable to the Lexus IS350 AWD that starts at $41,700. These vehicles have all the options you can imagine, from navigation to memory and heated seats. 50

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All are available in All-Wheel Drive and in the V6 and both get an EPA fuel rating of 21-mpg combined. The 2014 Lexus IS family is one of the best–handling compact sports sedans we’ve driven, plus with a new, more aggressive look with spindle grille treatment. However, the interior still feels less spacious than the BMW 3-Series and Mercedes C-Class, closer to the 2013 Cadillac ATS. The real win for Lexus is the refined interior and superb handling. On the BMW X1 front, we have to say that this CUV is more flexible than you might give it credit for, with a three–way divided rear seat structure that can be reclined for passengers or laid down for cargo. The 3.5-liter has rocketlike power, but without the same level of technology as the high-end 3, 5 or 6 Series. The quality is there, though, and the look is completely BMW. If we had one gripe it is that the suspension is a little loose and unpredictable for the persona of a BMW – The Ultimate Driving Machine. So is “entry-level” luxury truth or fiction? The fiction is that it is really cheaper than other welloptioned cars on the market. The truth is that there is no way to get around the desire many have for the luxury brand, the service that comes with it and the attention to detail we have come to expect.

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JUNE 19, 2013

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JUNE 19, 2013

THE GAY AESTHETIC

BEAUTY

Hair be–gone

DIY Summer Hair Removal tips By Kelsey Lindsey, the Boulderite Beauty

Laying on the beach, pool deck, or porch this summer, a cool drink and a hot swimsuit are all but required to keep the heat away and attract the attentions of a cute summer fling. Also required? A thorough removal of hair from all unnecessary areas – and let’s face it, what hair isn’t unnecessary nowadays? I’m not just talking to my fellow ladies here either. In these current times, a hairy chest and (shudder) a hairy back are sure ways to deflect the flirty glances from that jock rocking a Speedo across the sun deck. Try out these tips and products to help you prepare your rocking bod for a summer of fun, in and out of the sun.

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FOR THE LEGS: To prevent irritation, experts suggest hydrating leg hairs in the shower beforehand, as it makes the hairs softer and easier to cut. If your skin is sensitive, consider preparing the skin with preshave oil (try The Art of Shaving Pre-Shave Oil, $25, The Art of Shaving) prior to your shaving cream to add an extra layer of protection. As you shave, pulling the skin tight will minimize damage to the skin and help the blades cut closer, resulting in a smoother and closer shave.

FOR A (SEMI)-PAINLESS WAX: For those daring souls looking for an at-home waxing solution, first of all, I salute you. To minimize the pain, apply a topical numbing cream in the area you plan to wax about a half an hour prior to temporarily numb the skin. To allow the wax to adhere to the hair better, use baby powder to soak up moisture before applying the wax. Pull the wax strip against the grain of hair growth, and try not to scream too loudly (you don’t want to scare the neighbors).

FOR THE BIKINI AREA: One of the most dreaded areas in all of hair removal, it’s tough to get a proper clean up without paying for professional help. To help with a smooth shave, try Bikini Zone’s Anti-Bumps Shave Gel ($4.50, Drugstores), an extra gentle formula that provides a close shave while moisturizing the skin with botanicals and vitamins A and E. Post-shave, prevent in-grown hairs by gently clearing away dead skin from the area with a topical exfoliator like Tend Skin Lotion ($21, tendskin.com).

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FOR A MORE PERMANENT SOLUTION: Recent innovations have helped consumers bring home a more lasting hair-removal treatment – at a cost. The Tria Hair Removal Laser 4X ($445, triabeauty.com) is the only FDA-cleared laser available for home use. With continuous use, this laser promises significant lightening of dark hairs and in time, a deactivation of hair follicles. Although not as powerful as professional hair-removal laser treatments, this product makes hair regrowth less of an issue for users.

JUNE 19, 2013

REAL ESTATE

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By Jeff Hammerberg

IT SEEMS HARD TO BELIEVE there are states where you can be denied housing because you are gay. While a handful of state laws protect individuals from being denied housing based on sexual orientation, in many places profiling still affects a gay individual’s options about where to live.

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worse treatment due to their identities.

On April 11, the National Fair Housing Alliance released a report highlighting the fact that in all but 16 states, discrimination based on LGBT identity is still legal. Colorado is among the states that protects LGBT identities, but in Michigan, for example, fair housing organizations sent testers to apply for housing in various locations and found that 27 percent of testers posing as gay received worse treatment due to their identities. This March, The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Executive Director Rea Carey testified before the U.S. Congress House Judiciary Committee requesting changes to the Fair Housing Act, explaining that LGBT people “may experience outright hostility” or even “may be subject to violence or property damage” during their search for housing. This is one reason why it is so important to ensure you are working with an LGBT/LGBT friendly realtor – to prevent you from landing in a community where you may feel unwelcome, or worse. In 2012, National Fair Housing reported 175 complaints of housing discrimination based on sexual orientation and another 45 based on gender identity. The report also includes some real life examples of how gay couples can be turned down for housing by banks or condominium boards and how often a reason will be “made up” to conceal discrimination against LGBT individuals. There are also accounts of what can happen if you accidentally buy into a hostile neighborhood. The sad fact is there are real estate agents that will say anything to get a home sold, including saying that a neighborhood is gay friendly, when it may be actually quite hostile to the LGBT lifestyle or gay couples. The result can be name-calling, damage to the property and violence, resulting in your need for an appeal to state and federal human rights commissions to set things right. Along with Colorado, those seeking housing are protected from discrimination based on their LGBT identity in California, Connecticut, Delaware, Hawaii, Illinois, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Oregon, Rhode Island, Vermont, Washington, Wisconsin and the District of Columbia. r Author Jeff Hammerberg is the founding CEO of GayRealEstate.com.

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JUNE 19, 2013

BACK IN MY DAY

d l e H e b To Increasingly in my senior years I am more aware of the power of touch, human warmth and acceptance, with acknowledgement and sincerity in my interactions with others. I went to a study group 36 years ago and had a new experience. As I was leaving, the male host grabbed me and gave me a big bear hug. I froze. Never had anyone except a close family member had ever done that. Even as a child there was seldom more than a pat or handshake. Slowly, as I became a father and had intimate relations with my wife, I was more and more affectionate and receptive of warmth and closeness that I’d seldom experienced as a child. However, I had never hugged or been hugged by a man and only by the women that I had dated or married. When Jim hugged me, my automatic stiffening and adrenaline rush became an obsessive mind blower over the next several weeks, something I’d never even thought about. Intellectually, I knew that hugging was one of the things that everyone at the study group did as they said goodbye. I wasn’t prepared emotionally. It is surprising how a single, seemingly innocent happening can be life changing. At the time I could not have let myself think of having an emotional or physical interaction with anyone other than my wife and kids. I was now introduced to a group of people who showed each other welcoming, acceptance, acknowledgement and greetings by hugging each other, and doing so without any sexual or manipulative overtones. It took a while for me to adjust to this totally different way of interacting with others. This whole thing about touching and having different emotions and intentions became a new and complex learning experience, both mentally and experientially. As the years passed and my last marriage dissolved I became more and more attracted to men, another challenging and mindboggling growth experience. I must be an awfully slow learner or had so much childhood baggage that it took many years to wrap my mind and emotions around the simple act of an affectionate, heart-felt hug or even being comfortable in intimate encounters, of which I hadn’t had much experience. Not only does our thinking change almost unconsciously over time, but so do our emotions, our attitudes, our beliefs and the naturalness of opening our arms, inviting a hug and having that contact that is warm and personal without the unwanted overtones. I now have a reputation for being a hugger.

Michael Kin g It is amazing how starved people are for acceptance and acknowledgement. Yesterday I was with someone I hadn’t seen for a couple of months. We greeted each other and gave each other a hug. It was so natural and caring and she said what I so often hear, “I really needed that.” At the GLBT Center, Prime Timers, and in other situations when it seems comfortable, I usually invite hugs and often a kiss. Most of the time a hug is accepted and I think, appreciated. Receiving that acceptance and affection for me is a joy and a boost. It makes being so much more meaningful and positive. I feel uplifted, accepted and appreciated. I’ve heard that it is a gift to someone to offer your friendship and affection. I believe and experience that as true. I would also mention that to wake up in someone’s arms is one of the most comforting and fulfilling of experiences. Living a life filled with love is what I am most thankful for among all the other wonderful blessings that are now a part of the joys of my being. This editorial was originally published as a blog through the SAGE of the Rockies, a program for seniors at The GLBT Center of Colorado. Michael King, otherwise known by his drag name Queen Anne Tique is a gay activist who came out of the closet at age 70 and lives in downtown Denver with his lover, Merlyn. Michael has been twice married, has three daughters, four grandchildren and a great grandson. Now retired, Michael volunteers his time with The Center and enjoys traveling, writing, painting, cooking and drag.

Back in MY day… Got a story, memory or reflection to share from way back when? Let us know about it! Email editorial@outfrontonline.com with a story with “back in my day” in the subject line to have it considered for print! 58

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SEXUAlITY

ASK THE SEXPERT

Seeking long– term kink Dear Shanna-

Shanna Katz

Does ‘femalefriendly’ porn exist? “Female-friendly” pornography is a term that I have trouble both accepting and finding. I’m sure many Out Front readers can relate to the unbelievable let–down of what websites describe as female-friendly porn. Size 2 models unrealistically using their oversized fingernails and faking orgasms aren’t exactly tailoring to the female audience. In fact, even when you peruse through the lesbian category, it’s just hundreds of these kinds of scenes. The idea of “female–friendly” or lesbian porn has lately been under serious scrutiny. Davey Wavey, the YouTube video blogger responsible for “What Gay Guys Think About Vaginas,” recently released a new video entitled “REAL Lesbians React to Lesbian Porn.” Wavey portrays that there is no such thing as lesbian porn – it’s actually for straight men. Throughout the video, the women are increasingly disgusted with the pornographic scenes and often called them out for seeming fake. One of the women remarks, “Mistake number one when making lesbian porn: Don’t use straight girls that have fake nails.” This is the ugly truth we face on a daily basis searching for Internet porn. Videos found on fan favorites like Youporn and Pornhub are more commonly than not directed at heterosexual males. I know that I’m in good company searching for real “female-friendly” porn. This alone leaves me with so many questions. Why the need for the fakeness in the videos? Where is the real lesbian porn? I am reminded of a conversation about female–friendly porn with a friend a few months ago. She scoffed and said, sarcastically, “What? Porn isn’t friendly to females?” She agreed that most lesbian porn on the market lacks a certain sense of authenticity. She told me she isn’t typically looking for the “Barbie types.” Rather, she prefers “people who look au60

JUNE 19, 2013

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thentic and flawed.” After discussing fake boobs and fingernails that curled two inches out, we found ourselves circling back to the main idea that all porn is aimed at men. My friend pointed out, “women – particularly women who love women – are aware of what is made and marketed for men,” and that “lesbian porn is usually made and marketed for men, or the commodified male sexuality.” While my friend and I have come to a consensus, the question remains: why is the targeted audience for this specific type of porn men? After endless Internet searches and conversations with both straight and gay male friends, one simple answer may lie within the male brain, or as one friend put it: “Men are more visual than women, no matter how or which way you spin it.” Men have 20 times more testosterone in the brain and body than women, and some studies have suggested that testosterone is strongly linked to a more visual component of erotic stimulation. The marketing departments for porn industries are cashing in using the visual stimuli of girl-on-girl porn. While it may be hard for us to find visually– stimulating porn for us girls now, times are slowly starting to evolve. Websites like Girls Out West demonstrate that women can be just as visual as the boys. And then there are sites like Refinery 29 with their “Tasteful Guide to a Sexy Time,” with dozens of options of porn for women. The porn industry may be male-dominated and targeted for the time being, but just keep at it, ladies. Female-friendly porn is headed our way. OutfrOntoNlINE.cOm

I’m a kinky guy, newly single, and looking for someone to play with and potentially even start a longer–term relationship. However, I don’t even know where to start looking or how to bring it up in conversation. Can you help? – Needs A Match Made in Kinky Heaven

Hello Match Made in Kinky Heaven; Good for you for knowing what you want. I know getting there can be tricky, but it’s never as difficult as figuring out exactly what you’re looking for. I’d think specifically about what “kinky” means to you. For some it just means doing it with the lights on. For some it could be spanking or flogging, for others it means a Master/slave contract and interacting within a power play structure full– time, and of course there’s everything in between. Think about the role kink would play in your ideal relationship – is it just icing on the cake of a mostly–vanilla traditional sex life, or is it crucial that kink is integrated into all parts of your relationship? Once you’ve determined the nuances, it’s time to go on the prowl. If you like meeting potential partners face–to–face, then hit the community up. The Eagle is a leather bar. Local dungeons The Denver Sanctuary and the RACK Room offer play parties and social events. If it’s easier for you to approach the conversation online, FetLife.com has been billed as the Facebook of the kink community, and has a thriving set of Denverites (and Coloradans). You can make friends, join interests groups, posts pictures (yes, even nude ones), and interact in a variety of ways. There are even groups where you can post classified ads with what you are looking for. More old school (and frequently more hetero-focused, though not always) is CollarMe.com. You can also meet people using more traditional methods (bars, gay/queer events, groups at The Center, etc) and bring up kink. Ask them if they’ve seen the movie Secretary, or casually bring up flogging in a and gage how they react. You could, of course, just come out as kinky and if they aren’t into it you’ll know they weren’t the right fit for you. – Shanna Shanna Katz, M.Ed, ACS is board certified sexologist. r More: ShannaKatz.com

HEINZESIGHT

When the bullied turn into bullies I’ve noticed a counterintuitive phenomenon in our queer society – it can seem like we have a high prevalence of bullies around us. Unfortunately, I’m not talking about the straight (or repressed homosexual) kids in school who shove the awkward gay kid into lockers. I’m speaking to those in our culture who share a common sexuality, but definitely not the same regard for other’s feelings, and may be guilty of being a bully to others. Being a bully is nothing more than using your energy and behaviors to be cruel, intimidating, or controlling to someone else, especially those who you perceive to be smaller or weaker people. Adults usually don’t resort to physical intimidation, but choose to use emotional or social aggression instead. Some might consider it just being “catty” – dismissing it as just something gay people do. Some think that it is just a fun activity, while others have been doing it for so long that it comes as a natural thoughtless, spewing from their mouths to shower unsuspecting people with hatred. For many of us, growing up gay caused internalized feelings of insecurity. It’s bad enough that most of us feel uncomfortable internally, but there are also times when other kids can be cruel. Some people feel that they can gain power picking on the kid that doesn’t quite fit in. As we get older, these oppressive behaviors

ignored or discriminated against should become less prevalent in our have been forgotten. lives, but sometimes they don’t. I Fortunately, many people have find “adult bullying” even more contranscended into self-confident, cerning because of how much pubsuccessful people without needing licity has been created around eduto diminish others in their lives. cating people about the concerns of These people have taken the time bullying in the schools. Just because and energy to work on those expeyou graduate from high school riences or parts of themselves that doesn’t mean that you are immune caused their insecurity in the first from people tormenting you. place, and replaced them with more Attempts to oppress and intimiBrent Heinze positive and healthy approaches. date others can take on many forms, but it is always done to make someone feel less Instead of working to bury the sad child inside, powerful or “put in their place.” The direct these people have nourished that child with a route uses cutting words, mean comments, process to heal and mature. Don’t get me wrong. There are plenty of other rumors, taking trash or social media slander. The passive-aggressive route happens where a non–queer bullies out there affecting our lives, bitchy look is followed by a sneer and turning including some mean–spirited religious and your back on someone. It can signal disapprov- political voices. I feel that this is all the more al, but is more geared towards making someone reason to identify and stop it when bullying is happening in our own culture, by our own feel like crap. Sometimes bullying is overcompensation brothers and sisters. As we continue to make significant strides for shortcomings or feelings of shame within people. Some may feel like they’ve gained towards equality, I think it’s a shame that we strength and security in themselves after continue a social civil war within our own comfeeling unlikable for many of their younger munity. Be aware when you turn into a mean girl. years. Maybe they have since found supportive social cliques, or gotten a rockin’ body – but Brent Heinze, LPC, is a licensed unfortunately, humility, kindness and remem- professional counselor. r Email him bering what it felt like to be put in a corner, at PerspectiveShift@yahoo.com.

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Envisioned by Boberto

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