Digital edition 9 4 by OUT FRONT Magazine

SEPTEMBER 4, 2013

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SEPTEMBER 4, 2013

VOL. XXXVII ISSUE #11 September 4, 2013 t

CONTENTS COVER STORY:

MAKE IT WORK

COMING OUT ON THE JOB COULD LEAD TO A BETTER LIFE

SO LIV FO CUS CIAL ING 6 8 9 10 12 15

Letter From The Editor Out In Colorado News Panel Voices Show & Tell Bleed Like Me

22 24 26 27 28 31

Food For Thought High Society Bar Tab Bar Map Radioactive Vision On The Scene

38 Big Toys 39 Beauty 40 Thrive 42 Back In The Day 44 Sexuality 45 HeinzeSight

44 l) rn (Reabian Po Les

On the cover: Charlita Shelton // Cover photography by Evan Sem贸n // www.EvanSemon.com 4

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Serving the LGBT Community of the Rocky Mountains since 1976 3535 Walnut Street Denver, Colorado 80205 Phone: 303-477-4000 Fax: 303-325-2642 Email: info@outfrontonline.com Web: OutFrontOnline.com Facebook: facebook.com/OutFrontColorado Twitter: @OutFrontCO Out Front is published by Transformation Communications Group, LLC, a Colorado limited liability corporation and is a member of: Denver Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce and Denver Drama Critics Circle. PHIL PRICE / Founder, 1954-1993 JERRY CUNNINGHAM / Publisher Email: Jerry@outfrontonline.com J.C. MCDONALD / Vice President / Director of Circulation Email: JC@outfrontonline.com SARA DECKER / Director of Operations Email: Sara@outfrontonline.com JEFF JACKSON SWAIM / Chief Strategist Email: Jeff@outfrontonline.com

EDITORIAL NIC GARCIA / Executive Editor Email: Nic@outfrontonline.com MATTHEW PIZZUTI / Features Editor Email: Matt@outfrontonline.com KRISTIN ZIEGLER / Editorial intern CONTRIBUTING WRITERS: Brent Heinze, Robyn Vie-Carpenter, Scott McGlothlen, Jeff Steen, Josiah Hesse, Gary Kramer, Mike Yost, Ashley Trego, Nuclia Waste, David Marlowe, Jonathan McGrew, Chris Azzopardi, Shanna Katz, Noelle Leavitt Riley, Amy Lynn O’Connell, Kristin Ziegler, Steve Cruz, Rob Barger, Lauren Archuletta.

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ART SARA DECKER / Creative Director Email: Sara@outfrontonline.com ROB BARGER / Marketing Strategist Email: Rob@outfrontonline.com CHARLES BROSHOUS / Photographer DISTRIBUTION: Out Front Colorado’s print publication is available semi-monthly, free of charge in Colorado, one copy per person. Additional copies of Out Front Colorado may be purchased for $3.95 each, payable in advance at Out Front Colorado offices located at 3535 Walnut Street, Denver CO, 80205. Out Front Colorado is delivered only to authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of Out Front Colorado, take more than one copy of Out Front Colorado. Any person who takes more than one copy may be held liable for theft, including but not limited to civil damages and or criminal prosecution.

COPYRIGHT & LIMIT OF LIABILITY: Reproduction of editorial, photographic or advertising content without written consent of the publisher is strictly prohibited. Advertisers are responsible for securing rights to any copyrighted material within their advertisements. Publisher assumes no responsibility for the claims of advertisers and reserves the right to reject any advertising. Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization in articles or advertising is not to be considered an indication of the sexual orientation or HIV status of such person or organization. Publisher assumes no responsibility for the loss or damage of materials submitted. OPINIONS EXPRESSED are not necessarily those of OUT FRONT COLORADO, its staff or advertisers.

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FROM THE EDITOR

Work–LGBT life balance I HAVE, ON OCCASION, BEEN ASKED WHICH DID I REALIZE FIRST: MY DESIRE TO REPORT OR MY DESIRE FOR MEN. AS IT TURNS OUT, I HAD THE GOOD FORTUNE TO DISCOVER BOTH NEARLY AT THE SAME TIME — IN THE FOURTH GRADE.

CONNECT WITH NIC

Reach Executive Editor Nic Garcia by email at nic@outfront online.com, or by phone at 303-477-4000 ext. 702.

CONNECT WITH OUT FRONT

SEPTEMBER 4, 2013

I have been both a journalist and a gay person for as long as I can remember. My first byline was a book review for the student-produced Images, a monthly supplement to The Pueblo Chieftain. I went on to cover the grand re-opening of the children’s museum and, later, school district–wide news and controversies. In a previous letter I shared I spent most of my middle school summers in my grandmother’s basement watching CSPAN. What I didn’t share was that I was also flipping back and forth to MTV, ogling the male VJs, the backup dancers in music videos and, of course, Danny from The Real World: New Orleans. And while the two most innate parts of me have run parallel since puberty, it wasn’t until college that they met — and joined forces. The freedom my college newspaper (and blog) afforded me the possibility to share with readers a process of selfdiscovery. Going through my clips — a journalist’s scrapbook — it seems like I may have chronicled what very well may be the most documented coming out process in recorded history, second only to Randy Phillips, the 21-year-old solider who came out to his father and posted it on YouTube after the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. My college musings offended some. One professor warned me I was pigeonholing myself. Others embraced it — and me. Another professor, Sylvia Dawson, cheered me on. “You’re creating a niche for yourself,” she said with her trademark wink and nod. So here I am, doing the work that — I think — comes most natural to me for the community I’m most naturally a part of. This issue’s cover story examines the intersection of work and life — more specifically work and LGBT life.

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In 2007, Colorado extended its employment nondiscrimination policy to include LGBT people. So, members of this community shouldn’t have to worry about being out at work and facing undue termination (unlike in 33 other states). But should we be out at work? When should we come out? And how does our LGBTness impact the workplace? We also asked some members of the community to share their own career paths. One found himself chasing storms and another owning the same business he started at as an employee more than 20 years ago. In 2012 a report by Good Technology revealed more than 80 percent of Americans were taking their work home with them and logging an extra seven hours at home each week responding to emails and the like. And 35 percent of Americans have at least two jobs, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. The United States is a culture of action. We love to work. Yes, in some instances we have no choice. The bills have to be paid. But it’s more than that. Our work-culture is often so much a part of us we don’t even realize it. Listen the next time you’re meeting someone new for the first time. I’ll bet you a free subscription to Out Front someone asks, “what do you do?” Ask anyone at Out Front, One Colorado, The GLBT Community Center or any of the lucky few who get to work in and for the LGBT community — they’ll tell you what they do and how fortunate it is their work directly intersects with their sexual identity.

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Out Front to honor Steadman, other extraordinary acts Oct. 5 This year’s Power Party will be a bookend of sorts. As we recap an amazing year of progress and honor those who made it happen, I can’t help but be overwhelmed with how many fronts this community is leading on. But more on that later — the Power Issue drops Oct. 3. Here’s who Out Front will honor at the EXDO Event Oct. 5: State Sen. Pat Steadman The Mathis Family The Simon Family Shalom Cares Daneya Esgar The Imperial Court Andy Szekeres Sandhya Luther Donaciano Martinez

An ambitious project now online I’m happy to share Out Front is now co-publishing a podcast every other Thursday with Denverite Paul Collanton. Collanton started his podcast and blog, gayambitionblog.com, to “explore the topics of personal and professional development, particularly within the LGBT community.” His next podcast will be online Aug. 5. CORRECTION: In the Aug. 7 news article, “Southwest Denver man hopes to keep pride alive at the Capitol,” on Page 12, Out Front incorrectly reported which year Jeremy Van Hooser is running for the state House. His campaign is for 2014. We regret the error.

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OUT IN COLORADO

Center to host legal clinic THE GLBT COMMUNITY Center’s Legal and Advocacy Program will be conducting a walk-in legal clinic on a first-come, first-serve basis for individuals seeking information or assistance on issues of discrimination, family law, or estate planning. Attorneys will be available to provide referrals to appropriate agencies or may consider possible pro bono, low cost, or sliding scale representation. The clinic will run from 5 p.m. until 7:30 p.m., Sept. 25 at The Center, 1301 E. Colfax Ave. For more information or immediate assistance the legal helpline is 303-282-5524 or legal@glbtcolorado.org

Denver man missing Denver police and concerned friends are seeking information or tips on the whereabouts of Richard “Dick” Beebe, a retired school teacher who has been missing for more than a month. A group of friends who know Beebe through the LGBT Catholic organization Dignity were the last ones to report seeing Beebe when they went to dinner together July 14. Beebe, a masseuse, is also involved in the LGBT elder group Prime Timers, Front Rangers and another social group for older gay men that meets monthly in Boulder. Beebe lives with a roommate at 1465 S. Jersey Way, a residential

Boulder to celebrate 10th annual Pride OUT BOULDER will celebrate “the richness of the Boulder Community,” for the 10th time in as many years at 11 a.m., Sept. 15 at Boulder Central Park. The day-long event is a celebration for all LGBT people and their allies. Boulder Creek and the Flatirons serve as the stage and backdrop for events. There will be activities for all ages, music and entertainment including God-Des & She at 5 p.m. Other events include a kick-off party Sept. 13, and a Pride Cruiser Ride at 3 p.m., Sept. 14. The second annual Dyke March will begin at 11 a.m., Sept. 15. For more information visit OutBoulder.com

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neighborhood of mainly singlefamily homes near Cook Park in Southeast Denver. On July 20 Beebe’s abandoned car was towed from a parking lot near Beebe’s home. Friend Tim Campion described Beebe as roughly 5-foot-11 and 185 pounds, and in his mid 70s. Several of Beebe’s friends have been distributing fliers asking anyone who saw any unusual activity in the neighborhood around that date, or might’ve seen Beebe since he went missing, email Denver Police Detective John Brinkers at john.brinkers@denvergov.org with tips.

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NEWS

Denver to host national convention for LGBT veterans and service members By Mike Yost

portunity Program as well as the VA’s Center for Minority Veterans to not recognize LGBT service members as a protected class. “Once all the rights have been gained, assuming they eventually will be,” said Kelly, “then it’s a matter of helping to assist those veterans, and active duty as well, making sure those rights are enforced and that they know how to get them.” Tammy Smith recorded a video presentation from Washington D.C. addressing convention attendees. Smith became the first openly gay flag officer in August 2012 when she was promoted brigadier general. Representatives from the American Military Partners Association and the Military Partners and Family Coalition will also be in attendance. Both organizations were founded by Smith’s wife, Tracey Hepner. Dr. Leigh Anderson, Chief Medical Officer for the Veteran Integrated Service Networks 19, will also speak as a representative of the VA. In addition, the AVER Rocky Mountain Chapter Color Guard, the only full regulation LGBT color guard in the nation, will be presenting colors at the formal banquet. Alva continues his advocacy work and made national news recently after speaking at a San Antonio city council meeting in support of an LGBT non-discrimination bill. He was booed and hissed at by opponents during his testimony. “My initial reaction was shock and anger. It was disappointing and hurtful,” Alva said. “I believe, watching the scope of LGBT rights continuing to be fought in this country — plus the negative rhetoric — is what keeps me motivated, speaking to people about the truth and the diverse population of every person in this country.”

IF YOU GO

hapters from all over the country of the American Veterans for Equal Rights will gather in Denver the weekend of Sept. 20 to evaluate LGBT rights and shortfalls for military members. “I’m very excited,” said Marine Staff Sgt. Eric Alva, keynote speaker for the event. “I’ve never been to an AVER national conference. There’s a lot that’s going to come from this.” Alva was the first American service member to be wounded in the Iraq war. On the first day of the invasion in March of 2003, Alva lost his right leg and suffered permanent injuries to his right arm after triggering a landmine. He was awarded the Purple Heart and medically discharged. Alva kept his sexual orientation a secret from the public until 2007 when he began advocating for the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, testifying as a wounded warrior before the House Armed Service Committee. He also returned to college. “I believe, even my mom said it, everything happens for a reason, because I decided to major in social work.” Speaking at colleges around the nation, Alva attributed the repeal of DADT to the younger generation of voters and advocates. “We have great activists at universities here in San Antonio,” he said. “There are gay-straight alliances in high schools having discussions about diversity. I graduated high school in ’89. Back then, we didn’t have all that.” AVER itself played a large role in the 2010 repeal of DADT. “We work to help veterans access their benefits,” said AVER president Danny Ingram. “And in the case of LGBT veterans and servicemembers, we’ve been working almost 25 years just for the right to serve and to access the same benefits as other active duty service members.”

Ingram testified in May before the United Civil Rights Commission on how the Defense of Marriage Act prohibited LGBT service members from accessing benefits afforded to married service members. “We’re working on a bill right now,” Ingram said, “that has just been introduced in Congress that would streamline the discharge upgrade process.” The Restore Honor to Service Members Act is a bipartisan bill that would make it easier for service members discharged for being gay to upgrade their discharge status, a process that can take years or even decades. “Anything that was a less-thanhonorable discharge would result in veterans not having access to benefits,” Ingram said. “We have a lot of people who are getting older and would like to have access to the VA [Veterans Affairs] and the other benefits.” Ingram aims for the convention to advance progress already being made. “We have a master plan to develop a national LGBT resource center that would help our veterans get access to their services with the VA and help the VA develop programs for LGBT veterans.” Denver hosted the AVER convention twice before in 1998 and 2000. John Kelly, President of the AVER Rocky Mountain Chapter, has been the Convention Chair for every Denver national conference. “Because of the changes in the last couple of years with the repeal of DADT and now the repeal of DOMA, things are moving fast,” Kelly said. “But the battle is not completely over. There’s still a lot of work that needs to be done.” Both Ingram and Kelly emphasized it is AVER’s priority to change the military policy regarding transgender service members who are barred from military service. In addition, Ingram stated it was wrong for the Military Equal Op-

THE AMERICAN VETERANS FOR EQUAL RIGHTS NATIONAL CONVENTION Sept. 20–Sept. 22 Keynote speaker: Marine veteran Eric Alva; Sessions include leadership and team building; Formal banquet Sept. 21. Denver Renaissance Hotel Tickets at ofcnow.co/jRg

REPEAL DADT ANNIVERSARY PARTY 8 p.m., Friday, Sept. 20 at Charlie’s Denver $6 Beer Bust, USO-themed burlesque performances

Disclosure: Mike Yost is a member of the AVER Rocky Mountain Chapter.

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PANEL

QUESTION: Do you think you could have gone further in your career if you weren’t LGBT?

Keo Frazier is a local entrepreneurial and business leader, and the fearless founder of KEOS Marketing Group.

Pieter Tolsma is program coordinator of Denver PIQUE, a sexual health and social support program for gay/bi men in Denver.

Brianna J Matthews is a 43-year-old post-op Trans-lesbian ready to take on the world.

Ironically, I went much further in my career than I ever imagined. However, I succeeded at the expense of any sort of social life in the gay scene. I remained closeted for my career of almost 29 years. There were many reasons I stayed in the closet — among them, I had periodic background investigations and was subject to frequent polygraphs. There is no doubt I was successful — I reached the pinnacle in U.S. government where perhaps only 1 percent of those who start the climb in government reach. I made 17 major moves around the world, survived a helicopter auto-rotation into a South Korean rice paddy (not a “happy face” event), was yelled at by four-star generals, worked at least 100 days straight at one point, and was up and in the office before dawn and long after dusk all that time. That was my life! Work was my substitute for human interaction. On my evaluations they called me indispensable, yet my personal life was drab. When I was in a position of responsibility at the start of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, I grieved over kicking qualified soldiers out of the military. Democratic President Bill Clinton signed that law and I had to enforce it. I gave up any sort of gay life for success, and I am OK with the tradeoffs I made. George K. Gramer, Jr.

I really don’t believe my being Trans has held me back at all from doing what I wanted in life. I spent 10 years in the Air Force and felt trapped in the wrong body back then. I had to stay closeted due to policy, but I think that if Don’t Ask Don’t Tell hadn’t been in effect and openly trans persons were able to serve, I would have come out then. I knew I couldn’t, but stayed in the military to receive career training. I work in telecommunications, and that career choice is full of openly LGBT people. I felt and hoped that once I made the decision to come out, it would be accepted. We all face trepidation about the big reveal. I was no different. We hope our career choices aren’t affected by who we are. Second-guessing what I wanted to do for who I am was not an option. I wanted to be a successful woman first above all else, and knew that I could probably get a lower level-job, but would it be what I wanted, and would it be what would make me happy, and would it pay the bills? I had to work for it. I had to believe in myself, and believe that what I wanted to do for a living would make me happy, and that I had to be myself as well, and I wouldn’t settle for anything less. Brianna J. Matthews

I’m fortunate enough to be part of an organization where I’m actually sought out for my gender and sexual identity. As part of the Denver ELEMENT I work with gay and bi men and their health, and I find that identifying as a gay man makes it possible to reach people I work with on their level. That hasn’t always been the case for me. I’ve worked a number of unusual jobs from personal assistant to overnight nurse’s aide at a rest home, and the most difficult was definitely working on a dairy farm in rural Washington. Farming tends to be a bigger experience than just a job — it often incorporates family and eventually comes to define the laborer to a certain extent. As such, certain norms and expectations form. While I am somewhat traditional in my desire to find a partner and have children, my openly same-sex partnered family might not easily fit into a community that so often relies on the help of others to survive. While I am sure there are farming communities that include acceptance of same-sex relationships, I feel reasonably certain that I would not have succeeded as an openly gay dairy farmer, so I might be biased. Pieter Tolsma

Keo Frazier

“I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul.” A month ago this was my life mantra and my answer to this issue’s question would have been a very emphatic no. But recently I had a first in my career and life — I was discriminated against for being gay. In the history of my career I have not consciously experienced discrimination for being African American, nor for being a woman, and up until that point not for being a lesbian. Imagine my shock; it gave me a glimpse at what I haven’t seen and what had perhaps always been present — that quiet discrimination we wish didn’t exist. A month after that incident, I can say I no longer know if I would’ve gone further with or without any of my check-the-box identifiers. I lead with the facets that make up my character and intellect. An old adage says that when you lead with what’s on the inside, people tend to forget their judgments about the outside. For the sake of humanity, I will walk through life with this as my truth. I strive to be successful in all the things that I do. I will continue to do that with everything that I am, with or without discrimination and most definitely through it, to be above it. So, I am still the master of my fate and the captain of my soul.

Iowa native George K. Gramer, Jr. is the president of the Colorado Log Cabin Republicans.

Join the Panel. Contact the editorial department by email at editorial@outfrontonline.com or call 303-477-4000 ext. 702 to be considered.

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SHOW & TELL

Mr. Orac finds Mr. Wright

MARIO ORAC AND WILLIAM WRIGHT said their ‘I dos’ Aug. 3 in front of 70 of their friends and family at the historic Oxford Hotel in downtown Denver. It was a decidedly intimate, exclusive and elegant ceremony, as they exchanged personally-written vows after each groom was walked by his sister to the altar in tandem. Candles lit the space as the grooms faced the audience so everyone could witness their exchange commitment. The ceremony was followed by cocktails and dinner in the Oxford ballroom. The couple spared no details, and true to their nature had thoughtful touches throughout the reception. Guests flew in from all along the east coast: Maryland, Washington D.C., Virginia, Florida, New York, Connecticut, and even internationally from Uruguay and Romania. The couple met at a Denver coffee shop exactly two years before their wedding day. Almost instantly they knew they wanted to grow old together. It’s a classic tale of boy meets boy, as they got engaged about a year later. Exactly a year after their engagement, Colorado passed the Colorado Civil Union Act in March 2013. Orac was born and raised in Romania where he was a TV news anchor before coming to the US in 1999. He lived in the Washington D.C. area until his career in hospitality relocated him to Chicago, and then to Denver, where he would finally meet Wright, who was born in Texas and raised in Colorado where he lived for 25 years. The newlyweds plan to travel to France and Spain early next year for their honeymoon to fulfill their dreams of learning the flamenco and to walk along the Champs Elysee, hand-in-hand. Orac and Wright will continue to live in their Victorian home in Denver.

LOVE Send your Show &Tell to editorial @outfront online.com

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THE LESBIAN SOCIALITE

When a meal summons tears — AND IT’S NOT THE ONIONS

Robyn Vie-Carpenter

r Robyn VieCarpenter is a social columnist on the local and national LGBT community. See more of Robyn’s columns online at ofcnow.co/TLS or find her on Twitter @TheLesSocialite.

embrace the LIGHT

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A GOOD MEAL ISN’T JUST ABOUT THE FOOD, although that is clearly a large part of it. It’s an experience. I’ve been known to break into tears when the circumstances are right. My wusband has gotten used to it. I’ll explain. I like a meal to feel authentic. The first time I ate beignets at Café du Monde in New Orleans, I couldn’t stop crying because I had been waiting 15 years for just that. It topped off my entire French Quarter experience. I want to feel welcome. Nothing says a great meal more than when the ones providing it make you feel they’re glad you joined. It should elevate my mood. Often my most memorable meals are ones that made me feel like a big city girl — eating al fresco in fabulous shades helps. I long to taste it again. A lobster roll from the Hamptons, a clamwich from P-town, a liver paté I used to get from the Upper Westside. The memories. I want to bring other food people. I think one of my best friends tests all of her prospective girlfriends by taking them to her favorite dive restaurants, just to see if they know anything about good food. It usually involves people I love. My friend Matty makes the best mojitos. He uses mint from my mother’s garden, served with a delicious picnic; we sit in City Park, listen to jazz and smile. This is a moment of pure love. This brings me to my latest good meal, at Bistro Vendome in Larimer Square. Bistro Vendome is one of three restaurants owned by Executive Chef Jennifer Jasinski and Beth Gruitch; the other two are Rioja and Euclid Hall. All three are perfect examples of how to do a restaurant well. I love French bistros, everything about them. The food should be simple and delicious. Pomme frites or French fries, steak, fresh seafood, these are some of the easiest things to create on the planet; McDonald’s makes millions of pounds of fries a day. And these pomme frites were da bomb! Although the menu changes, they always make sure to serve the classics as well. The wine list was just right and our handsome waiter knew it well. The hostess didn’t look at us disapprovingly when we showed up 15 minutes late for our reservation (although the place was packed so I wouldn’t recommend it). Dina, the general manager, was kind, solicitous and knowledgeable. Tucked into this wonderful courtyard, Bistro Vendome is a gem of a spot. It has been named one of Denver’s most romantic restaurants and with good reason. With little bistro tables set under a tree with twinkling lights, the street sounds quieted and the starry night sky overhead. If I weren’t already married, I would demand my wusband take me here to propose. Dina said that she helps two or three nervous suitors a week pop the question. Each person asked about our meal and I had nothing but praise, even for one of the cooks that I encountered in the bathroom. I told them about my crying thing — they totally understood. Although I didn’t cry, I couldn’t stop smiling. I think I was smiling too much to cry.

BLEED LIKE ME

A positively normal relationship a magnetic couple. Others weighed nurses at Planned Parenthood would ask about LUKE AND I HAD BARELY STARTED in heavily that we should stick to our his sexual practices and after hearing his explanaseeing each other when I found out “own kind” to ensure a proper and safe tion, they’d often suggest that he didn’t come back about my HIV-positive status. Both terso frequently. Some even added he was safer with relationship. rified, our first concern was to figure We consulted with doctors who, me, in a way, because he had full awareness of my out Luke’s status. His first test came surprisingly, came off as a bit baffled status and my HIV was under control. back negative. So did the one after that, Luke and I wouldn’t ever be able to feel what by our concerns. According to them, and the one after that. By the time we we’d just need to follow the rules of it would be like to have sex without a piece of determined Luke wasn’t HIV positive safer sex and there shouldn’t be any rubber between us. But for both of us it barely we were dating officially and considereven felt like a sacrifice given the worry of HIV transmising a serious relationship. Scott McGlothlen ... there was even amazing amount of love we got in sion, especially if I kept That brought a new worry: We return. And the safer foreplay fun total adherence to my didn’t know if we could actually have a cute nickname a relationship with one person positive and the medications. for such a relation- that didn’t require a condom satiated both of us. And since medications are so efother negative. I’d been advised not to feel like I ship: a magnetic Six years into our relationship could only date other poz guys, and now had an fective (when taken properly), we couple (describing now, Luke and I are baffled that HIV amazing negative guy in front of me — but it felt were informed not to worry about how “positive” and could have ever deterred us from terrifying. Could we really last a lifetime without debilitation or dying young from an “negative” forces being together. Over the years it’s AIDS-related illness. We could sigh a major risk of transmission? attract). gotten to seem almost a little too easy We let our relationship unfold at an incredibly with relief that my status wouldn’t — from cautiousness to a sex life like slow pace. It’s already unsettling to give your heart lead to an eventual caretaking role to another person, let alone doing it in the midst for Luke, or worse, Luke having to bear my death. any other long-term couple. Sex doesn’t deterAt first safe sex still left red flags flying in the mine how much we love each other, and now of a communicable disease. But we liked each other, perhaps even loved each other, enough to backs of both of our minds, but by the end of the we know HIV doesn’t interfere with a person’s first year, it felt close to the same as the sex we’d chance for a loving relationship. take the time and energy to figure it out. Friends on both sides chimed in with been having all our lives. Luke and I started to opinions. Some testified to knowing other sero- come to the realization that my HIV-positive Scott McGlothlen is a cultural columnist on life discordant couples, one person HIV positive the status shouldn’t have much, if any, interference as a HIV-positive gay man. r See more of Scott’s columns online at ofcnow.co/scott or contact him other negative, who made it work. In fact there’s with our lives as a couple. Luke continued to get frequent HIV tests. The at scott@outfrontonline.com. even a cute nickname for such a relationship:

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COVER STORY

MAKE IT WORK COMING OUT ON THE JOB COULD LEAD TO A BETTER LIFE

Pictured: Charlita Shelton

Photography by Evan Semón

By Nic Garcia

There are an estimated 7 million LGBT people in the United States’ private sector workforce. Charlita Shelton is one of them. “What do you see when you see me? What’s obvious? I’m black. And I’m a woman,” she says in an online video. “But what you don’t see is that I’m a very proud lesbian and president of a university.” 16

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COVER STORY

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Continued on page 18 t t

DEATH OF PARTNER SPURS COMING OUT

HANK PROVOST

The video — part “It Gets Better,” part coming out announcement — is posted on the home page of lgbtqpresidents.org. The website is the digital home to a loosely formed group of academic leaders that in 2010 gathered in Chicago to unite and bring attention to the lack of open LGBT leaders in higher education and to help foster diversity and outness. Just three years before the Chicago meeting, a report in the Chronicle of Higher Education, the industry’s bible, reported there were only three out LGBT leaders at all of the nation’s colleges. Today, by Shelton’s count, there are 32. While Shelton and her colleagues are just a fraction of a percent in the expanding out LGBT workforce in the U.S., the fact that the number of LGBT university presidents has spiked from three to 32 in less than a decade points to something much larger. While lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people have always been employed, progressive cultural workplace norms, a positive sea change in public opinion toward the LGBT community, the extension of protections created by a growing number of states that afford relationship recognition to same-sex couples and a rebounding economy are some of the ways it’s become easier for people to create a work–life balance that includes being out. “I have to be out,” Shelton told me as we sat in her downtown Denver office. Shelton is the president of the University of the Rockies, a Colorado private university specializing in organization leadership and psychology. “(But) I define that. It doesn’t define me.” The University of the Rockies was founded in 1998 as the Colorado School of Professional Psychology in Colorado Springs. In 2007, Bridgepoint Education Inc. purchased the school and changed its name. Shelton was appointed president in 2008. “Dr. Shelton’s commitment to diversity is just one of the many reasons we wanted her to lead the University of the Rockies,” said Don Bird, chairman of the school’s board, in a media release announcing Shelton’s hire. “It became quite evident early on in the interview process that she embraced the mission of the University and she was able to connect with the team. She clearly demonstrated that she values diverse groups of individuals who are pursuing a quality graduate education.” In 2013, under Shelton’s guidance, the university opened its Denver campus at the Tabor Center on the 16th Street Mall. The school, which started with 200 students in 1998, now serves more than 2,000. Being out, or in other words, bringing your full self to work, brings richness to the office and team you work with, Shelton said. Each person, whether they’re trans, white, Christian, military or living with a disability, has a degree of diversity in them that can be tapped to further an organization’s success — but only if those identities and life experiences are recognized, communicated and appreciated. Not everyone can be out, Shelton understands. But compelling data shows if employees do come out, they may help ensure their own optimized career path.

WHEN HANK PROVOST ENTERED INTO THE workforce in 1977 people didn’t talk much about their personal lives at work, let alone being gay. There might have been passing conversations about the weekend during a cigarette break or over the water cooler but there was a job to do between 9 and 5. But as the ’70s turned into the ’80s and ’90s, the economic climate began to change. A lifetime commitment from your employer vanished as traditional U.S. industries began to implode. Demands and benefits from employers began to change, as did the need of employees. “As I grew up in my organization, people started to figure out I was gay,” Provost said. But he continued to lead his private life in secrecy. But in 1996 as Provost’s partner became seriously ill from an AIDS-related illness, Provost nervously made the decision to discuss a leave of absence with his employer, Motorola. The company and his co-workers were supportive. “A lot of co-workers were impressed,” he said. And they filled the pews at a church during his partner’s memorial service after he died. OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

“It was the first time I felt pride,” Provost said. “It was the first time for me not being ashamed for being gay.” Provost stayed with Motorola until 1999. After finishing a business trip overseas, he returned to Chicago where he went to work for Dean Foods. That company transferred him to Colorado where he became the most senior LGBT manager in his division of White Waves Food. Provost said he attributes his rise on the corporate ladder to having good mentors, being at the right place at the right time and employers who saw past his sexual orientation and focused on his abilities to lead. “I wouldn’t say follow my path and you’ll be fine,” Provost said. In turn, his being out at work led to his organization becoming one of the largest corporate donors to the Human Rights Campaign, an organization Provost helps lead in Colorado. Today, Provost owns his own small business, Organizational Strategies. “I have the opportunity to work with really neat people who are inspired to do good things in their organization. I get to help them get where they want to.” COVER STORY

SEPTEMBER 4, 2013

COVER STORY

COMING OUT TRANS DIDN’T IMPACT SMALL BUSINESS

Continued from page 17

• 48 percent of those closeted at work felt satisfied with their rate of advancement (compared to 64 percent of those out). • Employees not out at work are significantly less likely to achieve senior management positions. • They are 73 percent more likely to say they’ll leave their companies within the next three years. • They are 75 percent more likely to feel isolated at work; even more so if they are men. • They are more likely to perceive the work environment as hostile and 40 percent less likely to trust their employer. “If all institutions realize that there is richness with diversity, meaning if people who attend the institution are, richness comes from that,” Shelton said discussing a Supreme Court case validating Affirmative Action. But she said later the same principles apply at the workplace. “You have a diversity of thought that comes from that. It helps the institution become better because now you have ideologies from many different people and not just one classification of people. “At the University of the Rockies, we bring everyone to the table and we say ‘all of you have something to offer relevant to your diversity. And we’re going to ensure we’re going to create an inclusive environment based on your differences. But what you will find is that you have more similarities then you have differences — and that’s what’s going to help us get along.’” It behooves employers to create a workplace that respects individual identities as a resource, Shelton said. Not doing so can create hostilities among employees. “When people feel excluded you’re going to lose people and productivity,” she said. “People want to feel appreciated and recognized. That’s how they’re going to engage and be productive.” A 2013 follow up study by The Center for Talent Innovation agrees. “After our 2011 work, we felt there was still much to explore with respect to how employers can make full use of their LGBT talent: specifically, the opportunity companies have to drive business and the bottom line by leveraging the leadership potential and connections of their LGBT employees and allies,” co-author Sylvia Ann Hewlett said in a media release announcing the study. It found: A significant gender gap persists between gay and lesbian employees with respect to how their sexual identity benefits them in the workplace. Men are nearly twice as likely to consider their sexual identity an asset in the workplace. Continued on page 20 t t 18

SEPTEMBER 4, 2013

COVER STORY

OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

J ON I MOOR

According to a 2011 study by The Center for Talent Innovation, 52 percent of employees interviewed who identified as not being out at work felt stalled in their career, compared to only 36 percent who are out at work and said they felt the same way. Other findings included:

JONI MOOR LOVES TO WORK. “I STARTED AT Colorado Springs this morning at 7 a.m., and I’ll be working tonight until 11 p.m. at a car wash place, probably just supervising. I can work 60, 70 hours a week and don’t even care, then I’ll go out afterward and party it up.” Moor, who owns her own heating and air conditioning company, Service Filters and More Inc., said she’s one of only two trans people in the Colorado industry. “I’ll go to supply houses and walk in, I’ll have my purse, like always, and I’ll say ‘oh honey that’s a lot of stuff, I’ll help you carry it.’” Moor has been in the heating and cooling industry for 37 years. “When I was in college, after having been a restaurant manager, the maintenance supervisor of my apartment came to my place and said he’d train me.” The job allowed her to place herself anywhere in the country including relocating to Hawaii with her wife and daughter. After moving to Colorado, Moor began to publically transition. “I was playing the part of two people, but over the last three years all I did in ‘boy mode’ was wear jeans and a shirt. Sometimes I’d show up and still have some makeup on. When I finally stopped doing it people said ‘it’s about time, we already knew.’ Finally, over the last few years, I’ve been Joni more than anything else.” That has been true especially during the last six months. The response from Moor’s customers has been positive. “Ninty-nine percent of my customers don’t mind how I dress. I’ve owned the company for 16 years and it feels good to be able to represent who I am.” In addition to her business, she is an event specialist for Advantage Sales and Marketing, setting up promo food and products tables at King Soopers stores in Colorado. She does that for about 12 hours a week. “Being in the King Soopers on Quebec, I had a name tag that had to go the other way, male, because it was my legal name. It was so nice when people said ‘her’ and ‘she’ anyway — it just hurts my heart in a good way. No one has ever made me feel bad in any of these stores.” Since then her gender and name have been legally changed.

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SEPTEMBER 4, 2013

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COVER STORY

COVER STORY Continued from page 17

The creation of a workplace where LGBT talent can thrive is due in large part to allies. Twenty-four percent of LGBT workers credit their decision to come out to allies. LGBT women are more likely to face discrimination because of the “double jeopardy” of gender and sexual orientation or gender identity – 74 percent of lesbians say they encounter bias compared to 51 percent of gay men. Discrimination continues to pressure LGBT individuals to resort to “passing” as heterosexual. Twenty-three percent of men and 15 percent of women believe that changing their mannerisms, voice or clothing or hiding relationships or friendships in order to “pass” at work has helped their career. Bias and discrimination are an issue within the LGB community. Gay and bisexual men are 114 percent more likely than women to report sexual orientation discrimination. Bisexual men and women are 59 percent less likely than lesbians and gay men to feel a part of the community. Being open about their sexual orientation or gender identity gives LGBT professionals access to business opportunities through which they can exercise leadership. “I’ve become stronger as a leader because of struggles,” Shelton said. “So whether it’s the personal struggle of coming out or the struggle of being an African American woman, struggles help me become stronger.” In 2000, 51 percent of Fortune 500 companies had policies that specifically protected LGBT people from workplace discrimination. A decade later that number jumped to 85 percent, according to a Harvard Business Review study. But 48 percent of employees surveyed still remained inside the closet. Today, it’s still within the law to make personnel decisions based on a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity in 29 states. Colorado isn’t one of them, but to bring the remaining 15 percent of Fortune 500 companies around to extending protections to LGBT people, to see Congress pass a federal nondiscrimination act that would forbid employers from discriminating against LGBT people, to create an open and affirming workplace in downtown Denver, it starts with the brave employee who decides to come out, Shelton said. “We have to come out organically,” she said. “We need to not be afraid of being ridiculed. We need to be transparent with who we are.” Shelton said she uses a sales technique — the assumptive close — when it comes to her outness. “I just assume people are fine with who I am when I talk about my spouse Lynn. I assume they have no prejudices at all. I’m not running around waving my flag, but I’m true to myself and hopefully they’re going to have an appreciation for who Charlita is.”

OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

HOW TO COME OUT AT WORK IF YOU’RE LGBT Coming out at work can be daunting. But research shows it can relieve daily stress and create allies for the community. However, depending on where you live, you could be putting your job at risk. There are 29 states that currently don’t offer protections for gays and lesbians in the workplace. Colorado, however, isn’t one of them. Before you come out, here are some things to think about, according to the Human Rights Campaign: • Does your current or prospective employer have written non-discrimination policies that include LGBT people? Does the company offer insurance to partners? • Is there an LGBT employee resource group? • Do people make derogatory comments or jokes? • Do you know any other out LGBT people at work? • Do people discuss their private lives at work? • Does the state or locality you live in have a non-discrimination law including sexual orientation and/or gender identity? • Has the company been ranked by the HRC Corporate Equality Index?

FIVE TIPS TO GET THE CAREER YOU WANT

There are hundreds of resources including books and blogs on how to find the job of your dreams. And you can spend hours combing through all of them, if you want. Or you can follow some the advice from the professionals we spoke with: • Develop a strategy and personal brand • Develop an internal and external network of people who are willing to pay you for your skills • Continue your education with a masters or doctorate program — and finish • Read industry publications and websites • Join industry associations and attend their events and seminars

NETWORKING OPPORTUNITIES IN DENVER: Denver Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce Denverglc.org

Denver Gay Professionals Denvergayprofessionals.com LGBT Young Professionals GLBTColorado.org

[ NORTH ]

LEGAL ALLIES*

4 things to ask yourself before you pop the question BY SARA CATES, PARTNER AT BLOCH & CHAPLEAU, LLC

[ DENVER ]

[ BOULDER ]

WHILE COLORADO’S BECOMING THE ninth state to offer civil unions is an exciting time for you, your loved one and the LGBT community, it is important to understand the responsibilities and consequences that come with these rights. Before you propose and rush to the courthouse, you should ask yourself the following questions: Am I ready to be married? A civil union is not a marriage because Colorado still defines marriage as between a man and a woman. However, to dissolve a civil union in Colorado, you must obtain an actual divorce decree from the Court, just as if you were married. Property may be divided, alimony may be awarded and parental rights may be determined, rendering the entire process emotionally taxing and seeking legal counsel might be in your best interest. Am I ready to share my assets and money? Many people entering civil unions may own their home, have their own retirement and investment savings, and have other financial prosperity and assets, but once a civil union is created, both partners may become entitled to a share of these assets, and the income used to provide financial security may now create an alimony claim. To protect your interests, consider a preunion agreement, which can define the partners’ separate property and also determine what may become joint property in the event the union ends.

The last thing you probably want to address with your partner before entering a civil union is the not-so romantic topic of a pre-union agreement. While you may be apprehensive about bringing up this subject, a good pre-union agreement can actually move a healthy relationship into a healthier and strong union as it asks the couple to discuss their expectations and anxieties prior to taking the plunge.

[ SOUTH ]

What if I am not ready for a civil union? If you are not quite ready for a civil union, there are other ways to provide legal rights to your partner, such as giving your partner medical and/or financial power of attorney if you become incapacitated, executing an estate plan with your partner as a beneficiary, and creating a defined beneficiary agreement to encompass these rights and many others. It is important that you are informed of the rights and responsibilities that this new and exciting time has created, and to be comfortable addressing these issues with your partner, because you are both in this together. If you still have questions about how to navigate this new era of equality, consider consulting a lawyer who can provide further guidance. Sara Cates is a partner at the law firm of Bloch &

[ EAST ]

Chapleau, LLC, practicing primarily in family law, including pre-union agreements, divorce, child custody and appeals. Contact Bloch & Chapleau about your pre-union agreement at 303-331-1700. *Allies is a marketing and resource

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FOOD FOR THOUGHT

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It’s better with beer By Jeffrey Steen

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SEPTEMBER 4, 2013

SOCIAL

FOR THE FINE-DINING SET, THE IDEA OF PAIRING beer with food is still a bit … plebeian. But more and more often in these sudsy times, beer-driven restaurants in Denver and Boulder are experimenting with native brews and high-end cuisine. To name a few: West End Tavern of Big Red F fame, the newly-minted FATE Brewing Company — even the long-sung Breckenridge Brewery in LoDo which recently got an overhaul. While we’re at it, let’s add one more to the list: Bru. Part of what plagues many of the beer-and-food stops in both Denver and Boulder, however, is an overextended creativity; either the beer enjoys raves and the food is dished up in mediocrity, or the food soars and the beer is, well, a few steps up from Miller Light. I’ve often wondered if it’s possible to put enough effort into house-brewed beer and gourmet fare to elevate the entire experience. At first blush, Bru is that experience. First, the ale — a sampling of brews that are evidently unique, without being unapproachable. Many of Bru’s handmade varieties are high octane, so if you like Belgians (which I do), this is your stop. The two picks that I’d drop by to drink at the bar have to be the Obitus American Brown — brewed with dates — and the Beezel Golden — which is a perfectly light summer blend of sweet and citrus. Chef Ian Clark — who should rightly be called a beer chef for his beer-centric cooking philosophies — has built a menu that is a true American melting pot. Where else can you find charcuterie plates butting up to Duck Confit Sourdough Pizza and Chicken Yellow Mole? Armed with a feisty golden, I devoured Clark’s Southern feature one afternoon: Fried Chicken with hoppin’ John. If that’s not a feast made for a beer, I don’t know what is. Picture it: chicken almost falling off the bone, coated in a salty house batter and deepfried until it crackled in golden brownness. Then the hoppin’ John — a smattering of beans, mizuna, and what struck the palate as bacon fat and vinegar. I’m not a Southern food connoisseur, but I enjoy my culinary treks down South — including this one. Without a doubt, it beat the pants off the Colonel. OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

And while many a dish caught my eye, I had to enjoy the work of Bru’s wood-fired pizza oven before anything else — specifically, the Duck Confit pie. A vague tang from the crispy dough cuddled up to sour cherry on top, alongside the decadence of duck confit and freshly-shaved grana padano. It’s hard not to finish a whole personal pizza here — and beg for another brew when it has disappeared. Here’s what makes all this work, and work well: Clark has decided that brewing and cooking are no longer divergent tracks. If this country is ever going to see a respected beer-and-fine-dining scene, then they have to develop together. Where else to blaze that trail but in Boulder, America’s craft brew capital? And so, Clark has taken up the standard and run with it — with an energy that fits neatly into both Bru’s kitchen and brew house. As with all newbies, I’m giving this one a pass on glitches that didn’t seem quite worked out — like lagging service and misfired orders that ultimately left us with an extra beer on the table. I guess I can’t complain about that. But Bru shows so much promise in a sea of brewpubs that are lopsided, I can’t really whine. I’m just anxious to see what seasonal and local sourcing does to the menu — and, for that matter, the deliciously Belgian brews.

TAKE SOME BRU HOME WITH YOU Now, supposing you want to enjoy Bru’s creations in the comfort of your own home, cozied up to your dog and glued to an episode of Glee, what would you do? Blu’s ales are bottled and available at these locations: e Alfalfa’s (Boulder) e Boulder Wine & Spirits e Liquor Mart (Boulder) e Hazel’s Beverage World (Boulder) e Liquor Land (Longmont)

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SEPTEMBER 4, 2013

HIGH SOCIETY

Falling for Todd Black

NEW PRODUCTION EXAMINES LOVE AND RELIGION

Priscilla: The Musical Sept. 3 - Sept. 15 Curtis & 14th • Denver r DenverCenter.org

By Michael Mulhern

The Full Monty

Sept. 6 - Nov. 9 5501 Arapahoe Ave. • Boulder r bouldersdinnertheatre.com

Ascendance

Sept. 11 Chautauqua Auditorium • 900 Baseline Road Boulder r chautauqua.com

Bingo: A Winning New Musical

Sept. 12 – 15 PACE Center • 20000 Pikes Peak Ave. Parker • r PACEcenteronline.org

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels Sept. 13 – Oct. 13 2450 W Main St. • Littleton r townhallartscenter.com

Todd Black has a talented history acting on many of the stages here in Denver. His vast range of diverse plays include Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, The Man Who Came to Dinner, Southern Baptist Sissies and most recently Sordid Lives. Now Black is staring in the Tony nominated Next Fall, produced by Firehouse Theater and Theatre Out Denver through Sept. 28.

Summer at the Center

June 1 - Sept. 14 6901 Wadsworth Blvd • Arvada r arvadacenter.org

NEXT FALL Now through Sept. 28 John Hand Theater, 7653 E. First Place Tickets $20 at firehouse theater company .com

Veronica’s Room

Sept. 13 - Oct. 6 Vintage Theatre • 1468 Dayton St. Aurora • r vintagetheatre.com

SEPTEMBER 4, 2013

SOCIAL

MICHAEL MULHERN: You just closed a highly praised production of SORDID LIVES. How was that experience for you? TODD BLACK: Amazing! I wanted to be in Sordid Lives for 12 years. I saw the movie, then the stage production at Theatre on Broadway in 2005. It was so gratifying to see (the most recent production) come to fruition. It all fell into place. What an amazing, talented group of people. Not to mention that the one-and-only Del Shores, the playwright, flew to Denver to be here for opening weekend. He was amazing: insightful, honest and very gracious! Tell me a little bit about Next Fall and your role. Next Fall is an unlikely love story between a 40-year-old would-be writer Adam and a 30-year-old actor Luke in New York. The catch is that Adam is an agnostic, Luke a devout Christian. Despite their differences, they remain together for five years until tragedy strikes. Everyone involved is forced to examine their own lives, their faith and what if means to truly believe. It’s beautifully written, full of wonderfully drawn characters that are flawed, but truly in search of inner peace. Adam is a character I can personally relate to on many levels: insecurities about aging, questioning faith and coming to terms with both. What do you hope audiences take from this production? I hope they’ll walk away understanding that everyone has, despite personal beliefs, the capacity for unconditional love and acceptance during our short time on this planet. Don’t wait to believe in love until next fall, believe in love now. You have had quite a busy year playing roles as the priest in Murder on the Nile, George in Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? and Sissy in Sordid Lives. What draws you to the memorable characters that you play? I think what draws me is the variety. One of the great things about being an actor is portraying different characters with different values, morals and inner complexities — and in the case of Sissy, different genders. I’m drawn to characters that are interesting, but flawed, who go through some kind of journey to get to the truth. It can be scary and thrilling to take a chance on a part that you may think you’re not right for, but pushing yourself to create a living, breathing human onstage is rewarding beyond words. Sharing that with an audience, connecting with people on a basic human level in a live setting are more important than ever in this increasingly isolated, detached, technological age. Is there a play that you absolutely adore and would perform in over and over again? I love Sordid Lives so much. I would do it again anytime. Jeffrey is another. Also Brian in The Shadow Box. Virginia Woolf is a difficult, challenging piece, but I would play George again in a heartbeat. The dancer Gregory in Love! Valour! Compassion! is another wonderful role I’d do again. Playing Howard Crabtree in When Pigs Fly!. Another great one! I was going to say Naked Boys Singing!, but I may have reached my expiration date on that one. What’s next on your acting card after this? I am finally taking a little break and going to take a short vacation to Palm Springs. We’ll see after that!

OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

SEPTEMBER 4, 2013

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dance party; Cover: 18-20 $10, 21+ $5 after 10 p.m. Saturdays: Elevated Saturdays; 2-for-1 drinks between 9 p.m. -10 p.m.; No cover before 10 p.m. e Wrangler – DenverWrangler.com Wednesdays: Geeks who Drink Pub Trivia 8 p.m., $2 house vodka, Bud and Coors pints Saturdays: $3 Svedka 2nd Saturday SWEET, 5th Saturday RETRO SWEET! Sundays: $8 Legendary Beer Bust (4-8 p.m.) e X Bar – XBarDenver.com Monday–Saturday: BOGO happy hour 3 p.m. – 6 p.m. Sunday: $5 lemonade buckets all day FOR TWITTER UPDATES AND INTERACTIVE MAP GO TO OFCNOW.CO/ BTAB

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SEPTEMBER 4, 2013

RADIOACTIVE VISION

Love united and divided I’m not the oldest drag queen in Denver, but I do have a few years of experience under my garter. That means I have some memories of the ’80s, at least the ones not drowned in wine coolers and Fuzzy Navels.

SEPTEMBER 4, 2013

banned for life. It wasn’t just the jeans, it Back then, whenever you were introwas also the socks. I never matched socks duced as a gay couple, people wanted to together. I just always bought socks that know who was “the man” and who was were all the same color and brand and “the woman” in the relationship. It was a threw them into one big drawer. Though ridiculous question then and is still today. it resembled a pile of refuse that seagulls That question has been replaced by love to squawk over, I could just reach in, another at most straight dinner parties pull out two socks and be on my merry that Mr. Waste and I attend: Now they way. want to know, “Who does the cooking?” Now every morning, I pull open the I do. It’s not that Mr. Waste cannot sock drawer to a glorious sight — an army cook. He can whip up some mean mashed of socks tightly folded, paired like animals potatoes and a pork chop. It’s just that I Nuclia Waste marching into Noah’s ark. bring my creative and artistic flair to the Through the years we have divided up other Wastepantry. You’ve seen how colorful I can embellish my face. You should see how I paint a plate with food. And hold chores around the house. I mow the grass and like the glitter in my beard, spices from my rack sparkle water the plants. He cleans the kitchen and makes the bed. When something malfunctions, I strap on the and tickle the palate. No matter how late I get home, or how busy a day tool belt. When things pile up on the kitchen counter I have had, Mr. Waste and Puppy Waste One and Two because I haven’t had time to read them but swear I are there sitting on the leather sofa waiting to get fed. am going to, he sweeps up the magazines and mail and Unfortunately, I can only give two of them dog bones shoehorns them into the mess I call an office. It’s all part of the give and take, the yin and the yang of the and call it a day. I honestly don’t mind. Cooking is another creative journey of life we call love. Eighteen years and still outlet for me. And it means one very important thing going strong. OK. Gotta go. Three mouths are hungry…again. — I don’t have to do laundry, ever. Our tradeoff is I do all the cooking and Mr. Waste does all the laundry. It’s Nuclia Waste, the triple-nipple drag queen of comedy, is a win-win. But it was not always that way. At the beginning we Out Front’s radioactive cultural columnist. r See more alternated the laundry chore. Once Mr. Waste witnessed columns at ofcnow.co/nuclia or contact her through her how I folded jeans in half instead of into thirds, I was website at NucliaWaste.com.

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ON THE SCENE

e Tuaca Taste Test Tour DENVER BAR SCENE x August 23 & 24, 2013 photos by Charles Broshous

The Tuaca Taste Test Tour took to the streets of Denver Aug. 23 and 24. Baskit Wear underwear models gave out free samples of Tuaca Cinnaster, Tuaca T-shirts and Baskit underwear at Blush & Blu, Charlie’s and X Bar on Friday. The Tour then hit Hamburger Mary’s, Wrangler and Tracks on Saturday.

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Protect all that is dear to you Family • Home • Business

Finding the light in the dark side of literature Nicole Disney

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When I met Nicole Disney she was hawking her novel Dissonance in a Mirror, at this year’s Denver PrideFest. I had to do a double-take and meet this girl. In a haze of booze, heat and way too much Pride, here was a college-age woman talking about her novel published by JMS Books, a queer publishing company out of Virginia. I introduced myself and made an appointment to sit down on another day. ROBYN VIE-CARPENTER: You’re young (23) to have your first novel published. How long have you been writing? NICOLE DISNEY: I started when I was 11 or 12. I started actually writing horror; I was really into scary books. I was really caught up on length, so [my first book] turned into this episodic, long novel. It was ridiculous of course. But, that’s how I got started. It wasn’t until I was 16 that I realized that I could [write] as a career. It took a long time to click for me. But, once it did I wrote another novel. My stepdad knew a radio talk show host that was a film critic that had lots of connections in the business. So he introduced me to an editor, and she just ripped my book apart. But, that helped me gain a lot of technical knowledge. What did her edits do to your self-esteem? There were two effects. First, it ripped me apart. I was devastated. But I was also really happy to be talking to someone who was in the business and was taking me seriously, to be giving me that kind of advice. I kind of took it as a compliment; that she would [critique] me the way she did any other writer.

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Did she give you good advice? She did. She said I had great characters, but I didn’t know what to do with them. There was no plot. It makes sense that would be hard when you’re 16. What happened when you finished high school, with the understanding you were going to be a writer? Well, I chose not to go to college, it was a pretty big deal. There was a lot of skepticism [from my parents]; they put a lot of pressure on me. The entire time I was writing my novel I was working to support myself. I moved out, because I didn’t want to be that writer [living with her parents]. How did you choose to write a novel about a homeless girl and a meth addict? Anytime I read something dark, I’ve found those books never went as deep as I wanted them to. I wanted to get deeper inside. Other books I would read would get to an intense moment and then [stop]. I had to imagine what happened next. So, I thought: I can do this better. Are you working on your next novel? Are you planning on staying with lesbian characters or will you branch out? I didn’t think of this book as a lesbian story. I like lesbian literature, but my book doesn’t just cater to that. It’s not going to click on lesbian alone. It’s not just a romance. It’s also really dark. It’s also about addiction. It took me months before it even occurred to me to send it to an [LGBT] publisher.

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BIG TOYS

British or Japanese: TWO CUVS COMPETE FOR URBAN CURB APPEAL By Jonathan McGrew

The 2013 Range Rover Evoque by Land Rover and the 2013 Infiniti FX37 Limited Edition, both crossover utility vehicles, are looking to turn heads with their heavily stylized version of curb appeal. If a car could be Flock of Seagulls or Madonna, these would be center stage. But which one is the best and how do you really choose?

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The Evoque is a curious vehicle. It has a raked back roofline reminiscent of a ʼ50s chopped and channelled custom, yet sits high enough to see over other vehicles and still do some significant off-road manoeuvres — just ask James May. At $50,225, it is tipping into the luxury category for a small 5-door CUV. Besides the edgy styling, the Pure option packages added climate control, surround view cameras for easy parking, Meridian surround sound, heated seats, satellite radio, navigation and more. Under the hood you find the standard equipment: 240-hp direct injected turbocharged four-cylinder. And yes, it will push you up to 60 mph with great gusto as in response to “I Ran (so Far Away).” But rear passengers will find the Evoque cramped, especially if you’re over six feet tall. From a driving and handling perspective the Evoque is the more agile of the two test vehicles, but has the downside of significant turbo lag from a dead stop. All in all, the interior finish and the name make for quite the package for the price, especially compared to the similarly sized BMW X3. What about the Infiniti FX37? Also well equipped, the Infiniti comes with similar features and a similar price tag, $53,700. If the Evoque is a New Wave “Hair Band” then the FX37 is Madonna. The FX37 has never quite been understood. It has gone through some styling changes, but has basically kept its curvaceous coupe-inspired exterior design. The most remarkable thing about the FX37 is that you feel like you are driving a car given the coziness of the interior and it has significantly more power coming from the 2013 upgrade to the 3.7-liter V6 engine that puts out 325-hp. If the Evoque is quick, the FX37 is fast. In fact, it is about 1.5 seconds faster than the Evqoue 0-60 mph. I found that the FX37 was roomier both for front and rear passengers. It also had a better load floor when folding the seats allowing for more cargo to be held. However, out on the road, it may be faster in a straight line, but its Limited Edition 21” wheels don’t help in the handling department. So which do you choose? Depends on whether you like edgy or provocative. And if you didn’t get my ’80s music reference, that should provide hours of fun on YouTube.

BEAUTY

A Wellness Oriented Lifestyle can assist you in reaching your OPTIMUM HEALTH

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A better reflection in the mirror By Kelsey Lindsey WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL, my friend and I would play this twisted game called “what would you change?” Like that scene in Mean Girls where the pink-clad clique huddles around a mirror critiquing every minute detail of their appearances, we would go back and forth randomly listing physical features we’d put under the knife if we could. “My nose! Ugh, just a little lift would do so much,” my friend would start. I’d counter, “Look at this saggy thing,” pulling on the skin under my chin, “I look like a rooster!” I realize now how disturbing this scene was. Here were two perfectly healthy young girls who should be looking forward to possibilities of someday owning their own businesses, leading a family, or (here’s an optimistic long shot) running for office. Instead of these lofty pursuits, one of the only aspirations we had was to go through painful surgery to alter our physical appearances. Some adolescents aren’t even waiting to reach adulthood to begin making changes. In 2012, the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery reported 130,502 cosmetic plastic surgical procedures on patients under the age of 18. While this number has decreased over the years, it still struck me as extreme when I noticed that 52 percent of the 3,576 breast augmentation procedures performed on girls were for purely cosmetic reasons. I wish I could go back to those high school bleachers and speak with my adolescent self, armed with a mirror and some “wisdom” gained since. “Look at yourself,” I’d say brandishing a mirror, “what exactly is so terribly wrong that you would risk the possibility of infection, scaring — even death — to change?” Commence the overwhelming list of insecurities: My chin, my boobs, my thighs, my nose...

“Stop!” I would yell, “You’re not really seeing yourself. You have a functioning body, no long-term illness, no painful scars or burns. For God’s sake girl, you can do the splits, enjoy that while you can.” Cue the punch line... “You’re fine.” I would say, “You’re healthy. Now be happy.” I wish I could say these things to my high school self and save her years of insecurity. I wish I could say these things to current students — these 130,502 girls and boys sitting on the bleachers formulating their own lists of perceived inadequacies. I’d tell them to enjoy their youth, and I’d tell them to focus on their intellectual successes and personal relationships rather than these tiny “faults” that no one but they can see. I’d love to tell them this, but I’d also like to avoid any confrontation with school security and angry parents. What I can do — what we all can do — is repeat this mantra every time I gaze into the mirror and begin the scrutiny of my chin, thighs, and boobs: “You’re fine. You’re healthy. Now be happy.” In doing so, I hope that I will save my 30-something self 10 years from now the pain that I currently feel reflecting on years wasted in insecurities and turneddown opportunities because I was too self-conscious to participate fully. Although I slip from time to time, I have hope that I’m slowly growing, if only for this one reason: Gone are my dreams for a new chin or nose. I’ve replaced them instead with dreams of travel, love and adventure.

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Kelsey Lindsey is Out Front’s beauty columnist writing from an affirming perspective on being your best you. r See more beauty columns at ofcnow.co/beauty or contact Kelsey at kelsey@outfrontonline.com. OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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THRIVE

Your crappy job is hazardous to your health By Rob Barger

I graduated from college in the midst of the financial crisis. It was pretty humbling to go from being a promising young student to hopelessly unemployed in a matter of a month. (The paradox of needing more experience for an entrylevel position is one that I will never understand and hate with a passion.)

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I have since experienced a slew of purely awful jobs including call centers, data entry, and keeping drunk people locked up in a detox center until sober. I think in total, I have worked 10 jobs since graduating in 2010, and have been unemployed for various lengths of time in between. As it turns out, working jobs you hate is not just a matter of self-indulgent complaining — it’s physically unhealthy. Researchers from the Australian National University found that people who are miserable at work are just as likely to suffer from mental disorders as people who are facing the stress of being unemployed. Another study, published by Occupational and Environmental Medicine found people who hate their jobs have worse mental health than those unemployed. Compare those findings with: people who enjoy their work are drastically less likely to have any mental health issues. On top of that, Australian National University researchers found elevated blood pressure is another risk involved with working in a lessthan-satisfactory environment — affecting you even when not at work. Have a boss that never seems to appreciate the extra effort you put in? This puts you at a higher risk for heat disease, the same university found. Alexandra Panaccio, an assistant professor at Concordia University in Montreal, mentions that job-haters were more likely than other employees to experience physical health problems, including symptoms of exhaustion, stress and burnout. In my case, I’m still a little jaded from the long journey of assorted terrible career paths, but I saved enough money and freed myself up to do some job exploring. And I found one I like. I’m healthier, I run more and I no longer experience homicidal ideation every time my work phone rings.

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July 12, 1995 edition w Page 10

BAC K I N T H E DAY IN MAY OF 1995 THE COORS BREWING CO. joined a small number of companies extending benefits to partners of gay and lesbian employees. Out Front reported the move surprised the LGBT community that was “wary” of the company’s political leanings. The company in 1973 gave $250,000 to The Heritage Foundation, a conservative think tank that opposed gay rights. A federal lawsuit in 1975 ended in a settlement with the Colorado brewing company agreeing not to discriminate on the basis of race and gender. At the time other Colorado companies like U S West, AT&T and Public Service Co. had yet to establish domestic partnership benefits.

Original printed article

T O DAY IN 2013 THE HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIGN saw a 54 percent jump in corporations asking to have their policies and handling of LGBT issues rated by the nation’s largest LGBT advocacy organization. Of the businesses reviewed — 688 in total — nearly 90 percent offered partnership benefits and 83 percent had an LGBT resource group or diversity council.

BACK IN MY DAY ...

Got a story, memory or reflection to share from way back when? Let us know about it. Email backinmyday@outfrontonline.com with a story to have it considered for print!

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ASK THE SEXPERT

l) Porn a e R ( ian b s e L

DEAR SHANNA – I REALLY WANT TO FIND SOME HOT PORN TO WATCH WITH MY GIRLFRIEND, BUT SHE SAYS THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS PORN MADE FOR LESBIANS AND QUEER FOLK AND “GAY FOR PAY” LESBIAN PORN JUST DOESN’T TURN HER ON. PLEASE TELL ME THERE IS AN ANSWER THAT WILL ALLOW US BOTH TO BE HAPPY AND HORNY? QUESTING FOR QUEER PORN IN AURORA

Hello Questing for Queer Porn; I have good news for you — there is such a thing as queer porn. I’m not referring to hot and chiseled men with oiled up bodies, nor the “lesbian” porn for heterosexual men — tapping genitals with 2-inch fingernails doesn’t do it for me either. I’m talking about authentic queer Shanna Katz porn that represents real life lesbians, bisexual women and queer folks of all gender presentations and identities doing it the way that they actually enjoy. The queer porn revolution started in the early 2000s with a website called NoFauxxx.com (since changed to IndiePornRevolution.com). Run by Courtney Trouble, a queer femme with curves for days, the site has photo galleries and videos of LGBTQ people from across the country (and the world). Its launch was revolutionary since much of mainstream porn caters to a hetero–focused niche, choosing who performers partner with and paying based on what acts they’re willing to perform. Fatale Media has featured real–life lesbians, bisexual women and queer people in such films as Full Load, Safe is Desire and Suburban Dykes. They were one of the first companies to put out videos and eventually DVDs that appealed to a demographic of not–straight–men. More recently, queer porn has come into its own. Pink and White productions has put out a few great feature–length films (The Wild Search, Superfreak and Champion) and also runs an amazing website, CrashPadSeries.com, featuring mostly queer women, gender queer folks, trans men and trans women doing what feels good to them. You will see stars of all shapes, sizes, races, ability levels, hair colors, tattoos and more, plus real sex toys up the wazoo, lube, authentic pleasure and orgasms. They shoot in San Francisco with people from around the country, and you might spot hotties from Denver there! Enjoy your queer porn adventure! Shanna Shanna Katz, M.Ed, ACS is a board-certified sexologist, sexuality educator and author who believes in open source, accessible sexuality education. r See more columns at ofcnow.co/sexpert or for more info on teaching adults to optimize their sex lives visit ShannaKatz.com. Send Shanna a question for her column at shanna@outfrontonline.com. 44

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HEINZESIGHT

Your opinion of me is none of my business by those around us. When our own consider the person you are today and want to be in WE ALL WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHER priorities shift toward being more the future. people think of us sometimes. It compels concerned about what others feel is Instead of a focus on being accepted by us to put on a snappy outfit every day, a good decision for us, we lose focus others, we should work on seeing ourselves as do a great job at work or be an attentive on choices that are true to our hearts, a worthy person enjoying things that make us friend. But some are preoccupied with desires and knowledge of ourselves. feel awesome. I’m not talking about building perceptions and judgments of others, There will always be social pressure, up our outside appearance to the rest of the and life decisions become driven signifor slick advertising, that makes us feel world with an expensive car, overgrown biceps icantly by being acceptable in a chosen compelled to want something. There or thousands of dollars traveling to Puerto peer group. In these situations, our own are times and situVallarta. I’m talking about good takes a back seat. ations where we being honest with ourselves People have perspectives and opinions Brent Heinze Do you think Gandhi may not know if and those around us about about everything and everyone — some worried about people our beliefs, passions, idioverbalized, others lying deeply in our minds without we truly want what we think we making fun of his haircut? syncrasies, interests, and being shared with the outside world. Of course, there want. It is concerning when our Or that Celine Dion would quirks that make us wonderare times when opinions come out through judgment own true preferences and interests may be replaced with ones cancel a show after someone fully unique individuals. or trash talk, sometimes behind our backs. Do you think Gandhi Of course it hurts our feelings and pisses us off that feed into our strong desire posted online about the size worried about people making when we become aware that someone doesn’t like to be accepted by others instead of her nose? Get real about fun of his baldness? Or that us, is critical of how we look, or disagrees with of taking the time and effort to who you are and the imporfigure out what actually interCeline Dion would cancel a something we do, believe, say, or wear. tance of appreciating show after someone posted However, it is important to stop and consider: ests us or turns us on. yourself. We each have a limited online about the size of her How is this knowledge making you feel? Why are nose? Get real about who you you feeling what you’re feeling? Is this going to amount of time and energy drive you to change something about yourself? for tasks that set us up for a successful and fulfill- are and the importance of appreciating yourself. Does it truly matter to you what they think? It’s ing future. When more energy is wasted on what important to consider how these types of opinions other people think about us and about what we Brent Heinze, LPC, is a licensed professional should be doing in our lives, we risk losing focus counselor. r Get more HeinzeSight online at from others can and will impact your life. We can spend so much time, effort, and money on those things that we really want to accomplish. ofcnow.co/brent or send him a question for his trying to set ourselves up to be accepted or loved Think about this when you have some quiet time to column at PerspectiveShift@yahoo.com.

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