CO LO R A D O'S LG B TQ M AGA ZINE | F R E E
LoveisLove
CONTENTS
FEBRUARY 20, 2019 VOL42 NO22
6
24
A LOVE LETTER TO MY TRANS SIBLINGS 9 HOW QUEER IS... VALENTINE’S DAY? 12 MARY GRACE BERNARD: THE LOVE OF PERFORMANCE ART 18 FORT COLLINS TO DENVER: NAVIGATING LOVE IN THE BIG CITY 22 DONNA MISSAL WANTS TO TAKE US TO PROM 24 STYLISTS PROVIDE SAFETY & SELF LOVE IN HAIR 28 A HIGHER LOVE (DRUGS NOT INCLUDED) 30 LOUIS TRUJILLO: LOVE IN SELF THROUGH ART + COMMUNITY 32 ISN'T IT ROMANTIC? QUEER LOVE ON THE SCREEN
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SERVING THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY OF THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS SINCE 1976 PHONE 303-477-4000 FAX 303-325-2642 WEB OutFrontMagazine.com FACEBOOK /OutFrontColorado TWITTER @OutFrontCO INSTAGRAM /OutFrontColorado FOUNDER PHIL PRICE 1954-1993 ADMINISTRATION info@outfrontmagazine.com JERRY CUNNINGHAM Publisher J.C. MCDONALD Vice President MAGGIE PHILLIPS Operations Manager JEFF JACKSON SWAIM Chief Strategist EDITORIAL editorial@outfrontmagazine.com RYAN HOWE Editor ADDISON HERRON-WHEELER Associate Editor KEEGAN WILLIAMS Copy Editor BRENT HEINZE Senior Columnist INTERNS: Arianna Balderrama, Zachary Blue WRITERS: Mar Pansy Luther, Melanie Griffin, Emily Creek, Veronica L. Holyfield, Rick Kitzman, David-Elijah Namod ART art@outfrontmagazine.com DESIGN2PRO Graphic Designer CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS Charles Broshous
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Mar Pansy Luther February 11, 2019
A love letter to my trans siblings This is for those who are nonbinary and for those who are binary. This is for those who don’t “pass as cisgender” and for those who do. This is for those who do not struggle with dysphoria and for those who do. This if for those who don’t medicalize their transition and for those who do. This if for those who don’t take hormone replacement therapy and for those who do. This is for those who don’t conform to gender norms and for those who do. This if for those who are trans and identify as straight; this if for those who are trans and identify as gay, for those who are trans and bisexual, for those who are trans and pansexual, trans and asexual, trans and questioning.
You are valid on the days you are uncertain of your gender and on the days when you are confident in it. You are valid on the days you are uncomfortable with your body and on the days you aren’t. You are valid when you wear the genderaffirming outfit and when you don’t.
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Take PRIDE in your smile! You are valid on the days you decide to tuck or wear the binder and you are valid when you decide not to. You are valid when you change into something safer before leaving the house. You are valid when you do not have the energy to prove your gender and when you do. You are valid when you don’t feel safe enough to express your gender and when you do.
You deserve a world that will encourage you instead of saying you are too much. You deserve a world that comforts you instead of laughing at you. You deserve a world that minds its own business instead of whispering about you. You deserve a world that will watch out for your safety instead of watching you. You deserve a world that will affirm you instead of misgendering you. You deserve a world that will hold you instead of harassing you. You deserve a world that uplifts you instead of making you feel like a burden.
I love you on the days when you are not strong or brave or fabulous or inspirational, because I love you simply for being.
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How Quee r is..
Valentine’s Day? By Melanie Griffin
W
elcome to "How Queer is...," a column where we explore the queer side of
things conventionally thought of as heterosexual. This month, we take a
closer look at Valentine’s Day. The history of Valentine’s Day has a long, surprisingly open connection to the queer community. Heck, the dude it was named after was martyred (aka killed for doing what he believed in) for marrying anyone who wanted to get hitched. He just wanted people to be with those they loved, and he’s been romanticized through pop culture ever since.
In the beginning, there was a Roman fertility festival called Lupercalia. It was all about hooking people up for babies to keep the empire strong, until Emperor Claudius II figured that single men fought better wars because they didn’t have a family to worry about. Because love, like life and Jeff Goldblum, will find a way, a third-century priest named Valentine performed secret weddings for those who simply couldn’t stay away from each other. Although there aren’t any records that survive to tell the tale of any same-gender couples who were able to unite because of him, Valentine soon became an icon for love winning over everything. OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM
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Especially after he became an official Catholic saint, celebrated every year on—when else— February 14. Today, many queer Catholics celebrate him as a symbol of marriage equality. Legend has it that St. Valentine also invented the Valentine’s Day card because he was thrown in jail, fell in love with the jailer’s daughter, and sent her a note signed, “from your Valentine.” This detail turned the feast day of St. Valentine into a festival for lovers, with romance and exchanged cards becoming the norm by the 15th century and the Valentine’s Day industrial complex starting in earnest during the 17th. The United States got on the mass-marketproduced-cards train in the 18th century, as we were becoming our own nation, and 100 years later, the Victorians showed their true feelings by elevating Valentine’s Day cards to a true art. The same people that history incorrectly remembers as stuffy enough to cover up table legs were actually very much down with all kinds of love. Research from Simon Goldhill, a professor at the University of Cambridge, shows that the group of lovebirds who put the frilliest lace and most lyrical poems to work formalizing their feelings recognized the fluidity of sexuality. Goldhill’s 2016 book, A Very Queer Family Indeed, uses a large British family of the 19th century as an example to show the lowkey approval society had for, say, women who fell into romantic relationships with each other. There was still a long way to go, as expressing these feelings was thought to be a good way for young women to prepare for marriage, as opposed to beautiful and fulfilling in their own right. And men who engaged in sex with other men were seen as perfectly normal, not even really considered homosexual, as long as they both still acted like the male stereotypes of the day and didn’t engage in cross-dressing or other “improper” gender performance behaviors. Goldhill called this a “highly articulated indirectness,” a phrase that explains how Victorians were fine with a lot of things as long as they weren’t proclaimed in public. However, they were fine with writing it all down, and if you want to see exactly how difficult it is to tell best friends from lovers, delve into the cache of letters and Valentine’s Day cards that survive from that time period. A passage from Goldhill’s book reveals the sentiment between a wife and the lady friend who had become more during a visit to Germany: “Did you possess me, or I you, my Heart’s Beloved…?” 1 0 \\ F E B R U A R Y 2 0 , 2 0 1 9
So the Victorians perfected the gilded cards and expressions of love that became the most widely shared aspect of the holiday. But somehow, as the 20th century wore on, their de facto tolerance devolved into outright exclusion from the increasingly heteronormative establishment. Dan McLellan, a 55-year-old gay man from Boulder, grew up immersed in the holiday but unable to truly express what he felt at the same time. He remembers his mother insisting he hand-make cards for each of his classmates, and he labored deep into the night to make sure they all looked like he wanted. That kind of attention to detail came back to him when he discovered later in life that he was gay. After 23 years of marriage and two children with his wife, at the age of 45, McLellan finally faced the truth about himself he had been hiding for long years. His wife took it well, and they remained best friends as he tried to find a way to express his romantic sentiments to his new boyfriend. But it was surprisingly difficult. “All I could find were cards with guys in jockstraps or unicorns and rainbows,” he said, so he started his own card company, Proudly Yours, to express the romantic side of queer love that he sees as being left out of modern Valentine’s Day celebrations. “I think, for some reason, gay couples are seen as more sexual and less romantic,” McLellan said, which is something he wants to change. “Valentine’s Day is about romance and celebrating the love you have for someone as an entire person.” He wants society to come to a place where they accept romance for everyone, no matter their identity, and he’s proud to do his part in helping Coloradans find the perfect way to tell their queer loves just how much they mean to each on this most romantic of all holidays. Every year, the Denver queer community takes back February 14 as a way to have heart-themed fun on any level, either with your partner, your friends, or all by your awesome self, offering everything from queer-themed movie dates to drag shows to express love in all its forms. Queer people gained massive victories in acceptance over the last decade alone, including the ruling on Obergefell vs. Hodges that makes same-gender marriage legal in the U.S., so reap the fruits of history to make your own Valentine’s Day as queer as you want.
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By Emily Creek
Mary Grace Bernard
The Love of Performance Art
P
rovocative, bold, and personal performances display the nuances of daily life and the realities of being human in a way that creates a kind of hope for audiences as they watch pieces unfold.
Mary Grace Bernard is an inspiring performer who uses pieces of herself to bring attention and hope to others. Not only is she a performance artist, she is also a scholar, pursuing her master’s in art history at the University of Denver. Her interest in art, and eventually performance art, begins in her childhood. She was born in New Orleans, and at age 6 she was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis not long after her brother passed away. Though she enjoyed painting from a young age, art took a periphery position in Mary Grace Bernard's life for many years. “I would paint flowers—I started doing that when I was 8. There’s this picture of tiny me next to this huge canvas, 1 2 \\ F E B R U A R Y 2 0 , 2 0 1 9
and I am smaller than the canvas that I painted. Growing up, I always donated those paintings to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation to raise money. I did that for a while, and then when I graduated, I did this 65 roses thing. 65 Roses is a motto for cystic fibrosis, because they sound similar. I did a work every day for 65 days and then sold them at the end of that 65th day to raise money for the CFF.” As her perspective shifted, so did the way Bernard chose to make an impact with this work. “Now, I’m very anti-medical model, because it raises money, but it also raises pity. It’s weird asking people to raise money to cure cystic fibrosis, that whole of idea of curing disability and erasing disability. So I don’t really do that anymore. “For the past two years, I have been designing this coloring book, the Cystic Fibrosis Coloring Book. It has coloring
pages on one side and instructions about what you're coloring on the other. That’s been an over-two-year project, and I just got the printed copies in, so I have 40 boxes of coloring books at my house. I’ll give most to hospitals so kids have something to do.” In a course at University of Denver, Bernard was introduced to artists who use their body as both subjects and objects and this, she says, was her “coming out at as a performance artist.” Her first performance was her breathing treatment, inspired by artists’ focus on pain and how to deal with pain and disability. Through that lens, she established herself in this lineage of performance artists grappling with how to deal with the often “dreary” reality of chronic illness and (dis)ability. “For this performance, I did my breathing treatment that shows the technological side and reveals the process that is supposed to fix my pain.
role, or I want to. I’m taking on feminist theory, disability theory, queer theory, crip theory—all of those things. “I should advocate for more than that. And I feel like the best way to get people to do stuff is to get them to feel. I don’t even know what that feeling is. It is some kind of emotion or feeling. I am not trying to make other people feel empathy. Just feel something. I think that can be powerful and allow other people to see the world a bit differently. When you’re looking at a piece of art in a gallery, like an object, you may feel something, but when an actual body is involved, it's more intense.”
But also just revealing my body. Because the other artists reveal their bodies and objects, but also as subjects.” A lineage of performance artists with disabilities continues to inform Bernard’s perspective on theoretical approaches to work. For her MA thesis, she studied the work of Bob Flanagan and his partner Sheree Rose and spent time in his archives in L.A. “All of us are also blurring the boundaries between art and life. In that class, we were studying performance art in connection to technology and the body, and it just made sense to me that you’re revealing your experience out of real life. I think it is just more powerful to share your experience in actuality with your body rather than some perfect artwork.” Her second performance took place in one of her classes and involved drinking multiple protein shakes, part of the reality of gaining weight for those living with cystic fibrosis. “With that one, I was trying to blur boundaries between public and private and how illness doesn’t remain in those private areas.” Bernard said that part of what makes performance art so impactful is what lingers with the audience afterwards. “I blame this on my Leo-ness; I do like being the center of attention, but in this [case] I am trying to get something important across and make my viewers feel something important. I think in performance, I am taking an activist
Her performance in January involved intense, private moments mixed with intense, personal moments. The performance took place in “Mary Grace’s living room,” an intimate space where she shared private thoughts while viewers were required to witness the entire performance through their phone or camera lens and asked to share the recording on Instagram or YouTube.
NEIGHBORHOOD
The living room was open for the full two weeks, offering space for visitors to come and read books and see intimate parts of Bernard’s personal space. The gallery is located on DU’s campus, which provided an accessible place for Bernard to display her work but also limited the flow of visitors.
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“I think a real performance art space is lacking In Denver. We really need that. There are a lot of performers here in Denver, and there is not really a space for it. I find it difficult to show artworks about disability; I found a lot of barriers and pushback there. I think people still in the older art generation view disabled art as outsider art. And like, what does that even mean? I have had some pushback at DU of me wanting to do and study disability art and people being like, ‘Make sure it’s good art.’” Her upcoming May performance will be a digital exhibit arguing for the similarities of digital and performance. The show will be titled The Digital Embodiment of Sick Witches and Sacred Crips and will be an altar of sorts to her mentors and the artists she’s studied and is inspired by.
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Felony Misdemeanor
A Queen Full of ( Tough) Love
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By Ryan Howe
I
t’s a name that has circulated the streets of Denver for years. It’s slipped through countless queer folks’ lips as they try to convince their friends to go out on the weekend. It’s been plastered on thousands of posters around town. It’s come booming from the sound system of nearly every LGBTQ bar in town—and plenty of non-queer spaces. It has, unfortunately, slivered through a few sets of teeth covered in malice. It’s been whispered, stated, exclaimed, moaned (maybe), and screamed. It came from rap legend Missy Elliott and a sign hanging in the front of a 7/11 to scare shoplifters. It’s also a name not to forget: Felony Misdemeanor. Eighteen years ago in November, Theariale StCyr celebrated his friend Dave’s birthday by getting in drag and putting on a show—an opportunity he still rarely passes up. It wasn’t his first time switching genders for an audience, but he considers Felony Misdemeanor’s birthday to be the same as her friend’s. Her first two official numbers: “She’s a Bitch” by Missy Elliott followed by Björk’s “It’s Oh So Quiet.” For both numbers, she came with concept, full choreo, and safely secured wigs. Although, the two songs may seem drastically different on the surface, both cater to the audience with high concept and drama. But, that doesn’t matter to Felony. “I only perform songs that I like—not necessarily what is popular,” StCyr said. “If I have a connection with a song, I’ll most times perform it. It’s what I’ve always done—it’s what I’ll keep doing. I’m up there to have a good time with the audience, and if I’m not having fun, or the crowd isn’t having fun, we both lose. “But, all of my performances are fun, so I don’t have to worry about that.” Starting out in El Paso, Texas, StCyr entered the world of highly competitive pageant drag. During the first three years working as a queen, he maneuvered his way through the abundant expenses and drag sisters set on sabotage before landing in Denver—and in a completely different drag scene. When she arrived 15 years ago, StCyr could count the number of queens with a following on two hands, which is a big change from competing against hundreds of different queens. The community was also less than inviting to Felony. In February of 2004, Felony entered a Miss Colorado pageant, and her mistreatment during the competition almost pushed her quit drag in Denver. But, stCyr’s love for entertaining didn’t let that happen. He worked hard, kept his head up, and made sure that audience members remember the name Felony Misdemeanor. He has traveled the country, in 2016 was named Denver’s Best Drag Queen by Westword, and performed on stage at Red Rocks Amphitheater in 2017 as opening act for the Film on the Rocks screening of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. He’s also a regular performer at Drag Nation and one of the best judges of Track’s Ultimate Queen Competition. The trick to staying relevant? Be kind and nurturing, be entertaining, and know your worth.
SPONSORED CONTENT
Steuben’s Uptown Brings Drag to the Brunch Menu For more than a decade, Steuben’s Uptown has been slinging delicious comfort food to anyone and everyone who walks in the door. Located in North Capitol Hill at 17th Avenue and Pearl Street, it has also been a place to congregate for LGBTQ folks. Steuben’s had a strong relationship with The Wrangler and its popular Beer Bust on Sundays, and the Steuben’s team is looking forward to bringing that end-of-weekend celebration back. “Our door has always been open to all,” General Manager Joey Casanova said. “Come in, relax, enjoy some good food—and now a drag show.” Starting this month, Steuben’s Uptown will host Drag Brunch on the final Sunday of every month. Alongside the usual grub, which includes mimosas, french toast, chicken and waffles, biscuits and gravy, and a multitude of mouth-watering sandwiches, Steuben’s is introducing Denver drag legend Felony Misdemeanor to the menu. “If you talk about drag in Denver, her name comes rolling off the tongue,” Casanova said. “We know she’ll bring something new to our loyal guests and hopefully bring in some new faces.” This month, Felony will bring a lineup of performers to celebrate the first drag show ever at Steuben’s—and Felony’s birthday. Catch the premiere show on Sunday, February 24 at 11:30 a.m. “I know how to work a crowd,” Felony said. “It’s all about reading the audience and giving them a show. None of my shows are the same, so this is gonna be fun.”
Steubens Drag Brunch DATE: February 24 TIME: 11:30 a.m. RESERVATIONS: Steubens.com OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM
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“I’m really, really nice,” StCyr said. “I’ll be motherly to you, but I will not put up with attitude. Do not f*ck with me in general. Do not f*ck with me. From the way I’m treated to the way I’m paid, I will not put up with it. I’ve gotten in many arguments with many club promoters for how myself or any other performer was being treated. “I have a big mouth—I’m very outspoken. I stand up for what I believe is right, and most of the time, it’s what everyone else is thinking but not saying.” But it’s not all tough love from Felony. You don’t become a Denver drag legend by being loud and opinionated, although it doesn’t hurt. She's beautiful, funny, quick, irreverent, and approachable. Although her jokes may sting 1 6 \\ F E B R U A R Y 2 0 , 2 0 1 9
occasionally, the infectious laugh that follows her sharp tongue make the insult endearing. Her eye for talent and entertainers also keep her in the family of some of Denver’s best queens. From fostering relationships with powerhouses like Jessica L’Whor and Nina Flowers, to building an iconic drag family and acting as guide to some of Denver’s best queens like Minor Misdemeanor and Chanel Banks, StCyr knows what makes a good performer. “I love my family and the friends I’ve made here in Denver,” StCyr said. “And I love meeting new people, especially over dinner—I really love food. I’m here to help, push, and laugh with anyone who comes up to me and treats me with respect. “Also, I’m single.”
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Fo rt Collins to Denve r
Navigating Love in th
By Keegan Williams 1 8 \\ F E B R U A R Y 2 0 , 2 0 1 9
F
or this queer writer and native Coloradan, moving to a greater LGBTQ hub does not guarantee a lack of trials and tribulations in the queer dating scene.
I grew up in Loveland in the 90s, just south of the booming and currently fourth-most-populous city in the state, Fort Collins. I was fully out at 16, and as a queer teenager and white, cis male with an upper-middle-class upbringing, my experience was, and is still, mostly comfortable and privileged. I’ve always felt fortunate to be queer in this state at this time in history. I moved from Loveland to Fort Collins to be closer to school at 19, and while Fort Collins has plenty of LGBTQ culture compared to the majority of other places in the country, it
he Big City
always felt like an in-between that didn’t coincide with how I envisioned living as a queer, out, and proud adult. It was just big enough to feel safe and secure, but not so big that I ever felt very represented in my community. Still, fresh-faced, 19-year-old Keegan took up all of the tools essential for any young, queer man in the dating scene, namely Grindr, Tinder, and OkCupid, though I typically saw the same 20 or so men across all the apps. I was never into the casual sex thing so much, so after wading through the d*ck pics and the “you looking?” messages, what was left felt like an oversaturated pool of queer men taking turns dating each other.
keen on continuing our light text conversation after the date, so it clearly wasn’t written in the stars. So far, the sheer amount of queer people, not only in digital space but in my day-to-day life living in a big city, feels comfortable, but as someone who’s rusty in the dating realm to begin with, it’s also overwhelming to navigate. Toward the tail-end of the year, I embraced work and self care, got through the holidays, and went on a brief trip 500 miles east for my grandfather’s funeral the day after Christmas. What happened next struck me as how people generally envision stumbling upon “the right person.” On December 28, after an eight-hour car ride from Lincoln to Loveland, and another hour down I-25 home, I barged into my studio exhausted. After sinking into my bed, I decided it had been a while since I had entertained those lingering apps on my phone, teasing the potential for a new endeavor. I swiped until the app told me I was out of right swipes (which, by the way, I think is garbage, but this isn’t about my opinion on Tinder’s premium features). I matched with a guy, we’ll call him Seth, that evening and exchanged a few messages before I crashed for the night. After work the next day, we chatted all afternoon. Seth was different than most and wanted to meet for dinner that night, not even a day after we matched. I’ve had one too many conversations online that remained annoyingly stagnant, and I would never end up with a face-to-face meeting to see if we were truly compatible. I told Seth I was in. I’ve never had such instant chemistry during a first date. Seth seemed completely in sync with my personality. The waitress at the diner eventually told us to flag her down when we were ready, because every time she came back to the table, both of us were so focused on chatting, we barely even scanned the menu.
After a few too many failed first (and last) dates, drunkenly kissing a boy I randomly danced with at our sole gay bar, and enduring text conversations that never went anywhere, I spent my last couple of years in Fort Collins avoiding sex and dating. I’ve never been innately romantic, so it was almost a weight lifted.
The date ended about six hours later following a night of adventures, and we turned around for a date the next evening. We texted constantly that week, telling each other how crazy it was and how wild that we’d known each other for so little time. I saw him a third time that first week before he went on a quick, weekend trip.
I always knew it was bound to happen, but I finally made the move to Denver last July. I didn’t think much of moving to Capitol Hill, until I read on Wikipedia it was considered a very LGBTQ-friendly area and that the grocery store down the street was dubbed Queen Soopers.
The night he got back, we watched a comedy special on Netflix at his apartment. Everything felt good. A couple days later, the catalyst: I got a morning text from Seth disclosing information that would have been a deal-breaker a week-and-a-half earlier with any other person.
After settling into my studio, dipping my toes into the city, and enduring a good few weeks of transitional depression, I got back into the dating game and embraced those three tools in my pocket. The same apps I frequented as a young adult in dismay were exciting, and a little scary, to open up at my Cap Hill apartment, where the first 10-or-so guys on my Grindr page generally registered within 500 feet of me. I joked to friends how, for all I know, some of these dudes are in my building.
Seth thought he might have an alcohol problem, and it’s something he had been dealing with for a while. I am sober and a recovering alcoholic.
I chatted, swiped, matched. About two months after moving cities, I went on my first date as a Denverite. He was from Lakewood, an art teacher at an elementary school, six years older than me. We were both water signs, but he didn’t seem
While this was my first time dating as a queer man in a big city, it was also the first time I tackled dating as a sober person. Seeing the words “I feel like alcohol is controlling my life” hit a little too close to home. No wonder he reminded me of myself. We confronted this with a disjointed, 15-minute phone conversation. I saw my past self talking to my parents and friends about my drinking as I talked to Seth. He shifted from scared and sad to laissez-faire and casual, suggesting he might take an alcohol break because he drinks a little too much wine before bed sometimes. OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM
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I was mad. After listening to him talk and keeping my thoughts largely to myself about the way he spoke, I capped out the conversation. I was somber but blunt about his dishonesty going on a date and entertaining a sober person to begin with while he hid his alcohol issues. At this point, I knew as well as you do reading that this thing was over. We chatted the next day, even though in my body, the whole thing felt rotten. I thought about the number of times he’d brought up my sobriety or his use of alcohol unprompted the week before. The initial excitement of our bond was corrupted.
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I told him to think about what he wanted to do on the date we already had planned for the next night, where I figured we could at least follow up face-to-face. Seth replied to me mid-afternoon the next day saying, “I’m not gonna lie, I’m still kinda turned off from the way you reacted to me the other day.” “Kinda turned off” turned into “I can’t see myself romantically interested in you” a message later. He said our conversation had raised a red flag for him. I recalled a past conversation where I turned my mom’s no bullsh*t concern and frustration about my alcoholism into her lack of empathy for me and didn’t talk to her for a while. As much as I latched onto our similarities and electric chemistry, it was clear that we were, indeed, both strangers just two weeks prior and still had a lot to learn about each other. I sarcastically posted “thank u, next” to my Instagram story after I sent him a final text in an interaction that concluded cordially, minus some honest and awkward blocks of text. I angrily mulled over the thesis I could’ve written to him following our final interaction, the things I didn’t say, and how many warped, alcoholic behaviors I saw in his response, but instead, I deleted his contact information and blocked him on social media. Getting used to dating and the queer culture in a new place is a hearty task. Even Seth said that our first date was his debut since he moved to Denver four months prior from a smaller city 900 miles away. I love seeing queer people represented in my neighbors, my fellow shoppers at Queen Soopers, in the overwhelming abundance of unfamiliar faces staring back on me on any given app, or even this two-week fling that showed me how much I can compromise a new, crucial part of my life for someone I really like. As Valentine’s Day nears, I’m usually one of the cynics scoffing and bringing up capitalism, but after meeting Seth, I’ll admit I was excited at the potential of casually celebrating a first, corny, greeting card holiday with a partner. I am not actively using any of the apps essential to my dating tool belt. Right now, I’m eager to continue exploring everything Denver’s queer culture has to offer, knowing that ‘the right person’ is bound to show up, as so many insist they will. Happy Valentine’s Day to all, from this queer boy who, even in a city alive with LGBTQ culture and opportunity, still has no idea how to navigate love. 2 0 \\ F E B R U A R Y 2 0 , 2 0 1 9
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Donna MiWantsssal to Take Us to Prom
By Addison Herron-Wheeler
I
f you associate prom with pigs blood spattered on the wall because you were home watching Carrie instead of actually attending your high school prom, you’re not alone. According to a study on queer youth by the Human Rights Campaign in 2018, only 26 percent of students polled said they always feel safe in school classrooms, and only 5 percent said their teachers and school are supportive of LGBTQ people. No one would blame you if you skipped out on your prom or didn’t have a very good time there. Queer popstar Donna Missal wants to change that. As a homeschooled student herself, she understands the feeling of not being loved and supported by fellow classmates, and she wants to give us all the prom we never had. That’s why she’s throwing a prom-themed party at each stop of her tour. We caught up with Missal about her LGBTQ identity, her tour and music, and why everyone deserves to go to prom.
TALK TO US ABOUT YOUR PROM TOUR AND WHY THIS THEME IS IMPORTANT TO YOU. This is my first-ever headlining tour, so I really wanted to make it a special, memorable experience. 2 2 \\ F E B R U A R Y 2 0 , 2 0 1 9
I was homeschooled; I never had a prom or a school dance at all really; I never had a picture day, so I started thinking about that and how that applied to my album, and thought that it would be really fun and cool for my first tour to create this experience where you walk into the venue and you’re transported somewhere. I wanted to create an experience that gives you some really great memories. The more people I talked to about prom, it seems that there is so much social pressure built around the experience, and no one knows who they are or what they are about or what they believe in at that time. Maybe they are closeted, or maybe they are sort of a dejected kid who doesn’t have any friends. Maybe they didn’t get invited or are too nervous to show up without a date. I wanted to do something so that doesn't have to be your memory of a school dance. I wanted to create this inclusive space where you can bring who you want, wear what you want, come alone or bring friends, and create this redo for myself, the homeschooled kid, and anyone who wants to relive this experience.
WHAT ARE YOU MOST EXCITED ABOUT WITH YOUR NEW MUSIC AND TOUR? Definitely getting to tour. It’s weird to be an artist today making music, and you sort of throw it online and hope that people like it. When you go on tour, you get to interact with people face-to-face and see people singing your songs and really feel the impact in the music in a really personal, human, real-life kind of way. I love to tour, and I’m really excited to get the opportunity to meet all the people that this record has impacted throughout the country. I feel really thankful to have the opportunity to do that.
DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING NEW YOU WANT TO ANNOUNCE? I just directed my first music video for my song “Jupiter” on the record, and I’m really stoked for it. I am excited to do something I really wanted to do, which is maintain complete control of my art and make something that was just for me. I also wrote a new song that I first performed on my first day of the tour,
which was Valentine’s Day. I think it’s an intrinsically kind of difficult day for a lot of people; there is sort of this agenda behind Valentine's Day that doesn’t suit a lot of people. You have to have a date or be in a healthy, happy relationship, and I think a lot of people are impacted negatively by that narrative, because it makes you forget that you don’t need other people to be healthy and happy. I really want this year to be full of accepting myself creatively, and there are a lot of things I’m working on that I’m stoked to share with people.
WHY IS BEING AN OPENLY BISEXUAL MUSICIAN IMPORTANT TO YOU, AND HOW DO YOU WORK YOUR IDENTITY INTO MUSIC? I think it’s important, because I want to get to a point where this conversation is no longer relevant, where you don’t have to identify yourself by your sexual identity, and we can all just sort of accept one another no matter what. That’s the ideal scenario, and you can’t get there without putting in the work and dealing with the oppression of all the gay people across the spectrum. If I expect to get to a point where it’s not relevant, I have to put in the work using my voice and the opportunity to speak to people, to reach people, to make sure I’m not taking it for granted and using my voice as a tool to spread acceptance.
Especially as a bisexual person, my identity is often totally looked over from the hetero community and sometimes even from the gay community, and I just want other people who identify this way to feel accepted and valid. Sometimes all it takes is one person you respect or admire or have access to to say, ‘This is who I am, and I’m proud of this.’ In my art, everything I do and say, creatively or otherwise, comes from the point of view and perspective of someone on the queer spectrum, and I think for me, the goal is to validate the art of the people on that spectrum, because queer art is and always has been very important art. I want my art to say that we are all the f*cking same, we all have the same highs and lows.
HOW DO YOU THINK MUSIC CAN HAVE AN IMPACT ON POLITICS IN THIS DAY AND AGE? I think music is very powerful, and people take it really seriously. There is sort of no limit to what people can do in culture or society, and we can decide what happens. So if music is perpetuating politics that are inclusive to all people and for the greater good of all people, and if it promotes messages of acceptance of yourself and others and things that are positive, I think it can have a major impact. It’s an amazing time for music. OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM
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Stylists P rovide Safety & in
Self Love Hair
Story and photos by Veronica Holyfield
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“H
air is a huge part of identity and is really important,” Laurel Javors said shortly after wrapping up a monthly snip session at Bee Sweet salon on Walnut Street in Denver’s RiNo neighborhood. Javors would know, as they are a trans, non-binary person who has used their hair as a way to conform and deviate from the spectrum of gender for years.
Bee Sweet After finding Bee Sweet two years ago, Javors cannot imagine going anywhere else, as they sit nestled inside the quaint and picturesque shop of trendy-meets-homey. While the room may be compact, the mission is not. The non-gendered hair salon is not simply a queer-favorited place but rather a safe space for identity exploration and non-binary gender expression.
“I was going to a barbershop, and it was fine, but the space was not great for queer people,” Javors said. “I walk out of Bee Sweet feeling more connected to the queer community; I feel seen in my day-to-day. My hair helps me connect more with my queerness in a way that I didn’t realize was important to me once I began passing as a cis man.” Not unique to Javors, many queer people describe their experience in hair salons and barbershops to be lacking, at best. They frequently encounter profiling and stereotyping based on binary standards of beauty and lack of queer representation. Dani Bee, owner and operator of Bee Sweet, first began cutting hair in 2012 in her home state of Iowa in a salon that specified services and pricing based on gender. Being queer herself, she pushed back the antiquated idea of men’s versus women’s haircuts and began charging non-binary clients prices based on hair length rather than assumed gender. “I’ve learned a lot through dismissing gender and also paying solid attention to it,” Bee said, “and where hair fits into that or has no place at all. It’s incredible to me how gender has no place in hair unless you choose for it to. Everything is on a spectrum, from bangs to gender.” After challenging the shop owner around the absurdity of basing cost solely on gender profiling, the conversation turned accusatory and argumentative. “She said to me, ‘You only want this because you f*ck a trans person,’” Bee said. She gave her two-weeks notice the next day and embarked on journey to Denver and into a queer community unlike anything she’d ever known. “Up until then, I think I had a pretty easy time in my queerness,” she said. “I dated cis men primarily, and so I felt really unseen, like I always had a hall pass, so when these things came up, that’s what started my process in realizing that queer folks need safety in their hair spaces.”
Above Ground After working at a brewery in LoDo for a few months and getting settled in a new city, someone came into her work sporting a cut so fresh that she couldn’t resist asking where they got it. That place, she was told, was Ashe Atelier (currently operating under the name
Above Ground, located in Five Points). Dani discovered this hair space offered services of the non-gendered variety under the leadership of veteran stylist Ashe Bowen, a prolific, nonbinary figure in the local hair scene, and Dani quickly made an appointment. “She came in to get a haircut by me,” Bowen recalled during a phone conversation about Dani Bee and Bee Sweet. “She was asking me about the style of being a non-gendered salon in a non-conforming space, and she finally told me that I was cutting her hair so she could go interview at another shop. She had never told me that she was a hairdresser!” “I had fear about my queerness,” Bee said, regarding the reason she hadn’t disclosed her shear skills prior to that conversation. “I never felt queer enough, and when I didn’t feel queer enough, it was usually around queers. I’m femme, and so people see me more often as straight than they do as queer.” However, Bowen went on to explain that the culture at Above Ground was unlike anything else in Denver at the time: an ethos of openminded individuals providing hair services to individuals who inhabit a spectrum of identities. Bowen wrapped up the haircut with Dani that day by offering her a job, and instead of going to that interview, Dani was set up at a Ashe Atelier with a booth of her own. “Your personal expression is your most vulnerable side,” Bowen said. “So it’s really important that you’re in a safe space where the people around you reflect what you feel like inside. I feel like if you have the ability to express yourself through your hair, that can be reflective as well.” Setting a precedence at Ashe Atelier of service costs based on time required rather than genderspecific pricing was one simple, yet significant, act to provide an inclusive experience for all customers. For Bowen, creating a safe space that is queer-affirming as much as it is nonconforming feels less like a business model to capitalize on and more of a necessity in generating an environment where people can comfortably and fully express their queerness. “I’ve tried to fit in to so many different scenarios and spaces, and at the end of the day, I needed to create a place where I felt comfortable. People that are like me are drawn to it. Hair is your greatest accessory, and in a snap judgment, people decide what they think of you.” OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM
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Proper Barbershop Safe spaces aren’t always about literal, physical safety from violence; they are necessary in settings where emotional safety and the mental wellbeing of marginalized groups is not often prioritized. Creating safe spaces in hair salons and barbershops can be life-affirming for queer folks as they experience a refuge and a place to relax from a society that is harsh, critical, and judgmental of their outward appearance. For Jordan Weinstein, co-owner and barber at Proper Barbershop, having a safe space wasn’t only important; it was imperative to his road to coming out. “When I went to barber school 20 years ago,” he said, “I went to school with the owner of one of the places that is credited to bringing barbering into the 21st century, the owner of Hawleywood’s Barber Shop & Shaving Parlor in Long Beach, CA. This same fella was also sued and lost for not allowing a trans person in his barbershop because they had a ‘no woman’ policy. It’s not as prevalent now as it was even four or five years ago, but there’s a lot of alt-right types in barbershops and a ton of toxic masculinity.” Weinstein explained that when he opened Proper Barbershop in 2011, which now has two locations in Denver, he wasn’t yet out as bisexual. However, a year after the shop had been opened, he felt it was only right for him to be authentic and provide queer visibility in a typically cisgender, heterosexual, bro culture environment. “It’s taken a lot of evolution for me to get where I am now, and I still feel like I, and my business, have a long way to go,” he said. Weinstein says one of the most satisfying parts of his job is helping people confidently articulate their authentic identities aesthetically. With a significant portion of his clients at the shop being female-to-male and nonbinary trans folks, he has seen many 2 6 \\ F E B R U A R Y 2 0 , 2 0 1 9
go through their transitions and has even helped them learn to shave once hormone replacement therapy sets in.
here in Denver, is not only relieved but excited that more places like Above Ground are springing up.
“Ultimately, if we [at Proper] can help someone find their gender expression or support somebody’s gender expression through a haircut, we are thrilled to do that,” he said.
“I’m so happy that it’s not just me doing this,” they said. “I’ve been waiting for a time when there are more queer spaces available. I never wanted it to be my thing; I wanted to be able to go everywhere and feel this way.
For Bee, there were times where she had clients who lacked exposure to queer culture and were not on board with the philosophy and nature of the inclusive practice she upholds. Those people, she knows, can compromise the integrity and safety of her salon and therefore are not worth the extra bucks in her pocket. “Those people can get their haircut anywhere. That’s why people come back, because they don’t have to deal with that here,” Bee said. “Instead of being racist, transphobic, homophobic, or whatever other terrible thing you want to be, just come in, be quiet, and learn something.”
“If any young, budding entrepreneurs want any advice, I am readily available to help them create and cultivate their own space,” Bowen added. “Then I have somewhere to go that’s not work.” Bee, along with Bowen and Weinstein, are ultimately striving for LGBTQ empowerment that can take shape in all spaces, proving that it’s possible even within an industry that is notorious for external judgment and criticism.
All three are steadfast in giving back to the community by donating time and services to youth organizations like Rainbow Alley and Girls Rock Denver, in addition to offering free and discounted services to trans kids. “Name a better job than what I do,” Bee challenged. “I’m so charmed that I get to work within a community that shares the same beliefs.” It all comes down to working together, and rather than seeing each business as competition, it’s in a unity of shared experiences and a desire to see queer safe spaces continue to expand across the city. “We’re all out here trying to do the same thing for the same community,” Weinstein said, “and it’s all love.”
There is a kinship, a relationship between a person and their hairstylist, that is unlike most others. However, in LGBTQ and other marginalized communities, the bond that is forged is everstrong. There is a level of trust and consent that goes into every haircut by Bee, and she doesn’t take that role lightly. With a history in social work prior to hair styling, she often hears the same kinds of stories from behind the chair, and she cherishes the fact that she can provide a service that holds people through those difficult times in their lives. “There is no haircut without therapy,” she said, “and even if someone doesn’t talk, there are some people that sit there and close their eyes, and what it means to be touched by me, to that person, is therapy.”
Solidarity That therapeutic experience carried over and created a community that is rapidly growing. Bowen, a queer pioneer OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM
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A Higher Love by Rick Kitzman
Things look so bad everywhere In this whole world, what is fair Bring me a higher love Higher Love, Steve Winwood and Will Jennings As a Denver DJ in the mid-80s, one of the last new songs I spun was “Higher Love,” a tune performed by Steve Winwood. The AIDS epidemic was raging all around me, and its lyrics seemed to express my fears with uncanny accuracy. But where was a gay man almost 100 percent assured of dying to find that higher love—a love I interpreted as the love of God? God... Has any word been used more by man to massacre and damn queers, to abolish our culture with the intention of obliterating our future? Doubtful. Queer life in America is shackled to God. We are bound to his commandments and definitions of morality and immorality through our nation’s laws and social standards. Early colonists immigrated here to escape religious persecution in Europe, and eventually became part of the First Amendment to the Constitution: a guarantee no decrees shall be made “respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.” But, America was still founded as a Christian nation, and the politics of religion still loom over the fate of the queer community. We have paid and will continue to pay the price of prejudice
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(drugs not included)
introduced by the pilgrims 400 years ago. Raised Lutheran in farm town Fort Lupton, Colorado in the late 50s, I soon learned Leviticus 18:22: “Thou shalt not lie with man as with woman; it is an abomination.” I witnessed the AIDS epidemic in New York. We were told it was God enacting his revenge, and his minions cheered him on. With my gay buddies, we made sex and drugs and dancing our holy trinity. Discos became our churches, DJs our priests. Drugs and alcohol replaced the Last Supper menu of bread and wine, affecting a transubstantiation no less magical or holy, no less a “higher love.” As AIDS killed my tribe, we learned to minister among ourselves. Fearless queer and straight women became our nuns who offered us much -needed succor.
What happens when you survive a deadly plague? You live. I had my health, career, car, and condo. But something was missing, and inside me, some “thing” was urging me to investigate.
Collectively, the queer community has carried the burden of shame, still religion’s powerful force that continues to haunt and bombard us. But millions of us have overcome that lie. Laws, standards, and definitions are fluid; injustices have been righted. The queer community has survived, thrived, and flourishes today with indomitable resilience. But, in life, everyone responds to their unique urges. We confusdly stumble or stomp cock-sure toward understanding our world and our place in it. We choose beliefs prescribed by religions (or lack of them) from our cultures and families, our childhoods and education, our relationship with money, our unique experiences, and our physical bodies. God makes us feel inspired or insignificant, peaceful or terrified, ecstatic or just ‘meh.’ God is for no one or within everyone. We meditate in the mountains or desert, by a lake or ocean, on a yoga mat downtown. We embrace a pagan past and dance naked like fairies in the forest. Our god is masculine, feminine, neither. My path led me to a spiritual life and to study New Thought teachings. This American spiritual movement began in the mid-1800s. It incorporates metaphysics, positive thinking, affirmative prayer, creative visualization, and personal power. Its prime tenet: Oneness. We are all one with the Divine, and all of life is united. I define it as doing my best to be of service to my fellow beings, to forge a deeper connection through prayer and contemplation. I try to be kind, generous, grateful, and forgiving. I strive to do no harm and to live from a loving heart.
Who am I to write about Higher Love? This solo act is not for everyone. I have not intended to proselytize, because who am I to write about God, such an intimate subject, fraught with opinion, embarrassment, and conjecture? But I know what it’s like to feel rudderless, that life is hopeless and pointless. I know that it doesn’t have to be like that. Somehow, I, we, find our place in the world and decide what we will do while for a second we occupy a spec of space on the planet. My last breath may be the end of my story, a slip into the abyss of nothingness. But, while I breathe, I have a curiosity to explore what it means to be human, what the Divine is, what happens after death. I don’t need drugs to look inside my heart and discover stars. I believe in a presence within me that is greater than me, yet inseparable from me and all of life: Love. Think about it, there must be higher love Down in the heart or hidden in the stars above Without it, life is a wasted time Look inside your heart, I’ll look inside mine Higher Love, Steve Winwood and Will Jennings
OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM
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By Emily Creek
Louis Trujillo Love in Self Th rough A rt + Community 3 0 \\ F E B R U A R Y 2 0 , 2 0 1 9
A
rt Gym Denver is a large and magnificent facility that houses studio space and equipment in a shared setting for local artists. The first goal of Art Gym is affordable access to both the space and the equipment. The second goal of Art Gym is community: exposing artists to a range of disciplines and fostering growth. Louis Trujillo is one artist who calls Art Gym home. Not only does he spend his time in the quiet drawing studio upstairs where he was most recently working on his color-pencil self-portrait for Sexxxhibition, a show he co-curated at Art Gym—Louis also welcomes guests and potential artists and works in the coffee shop that contributes to supporting the space. The self-portrait he contributed to the Art Gym’s most recent show, Sexxxhibition, marks a shift in both Louis’ personal view of himself and his artwork. To understand the importance of this shift, we started at the beginning of his artistic journey. “I credit being a creative person a lot to my mom and to my grandfather. They were always creating with me when I was a kid, and so I knew I always wanted to do something creative for a career. But I grew up in a working-class family, so fine art was not something that was ever presented to me as something for a career. I thought I would have to be in a different field in order to make money to provide for a family. “But, I began to attend Metro State University, which is where I got my bachelor’s in fine arts, and I took my first drawing class there, and that kind of introduced me to the idea of fine art as a career. So I went for it.” After graduation, Trujillo worked as a successful sculpture installation artist out of the co-op Sych Gallery on Santa Fe. “That has given me the opportunity to really show my work and to grow as an artist.” Trujillo’s work evolved over the years, but his own life has always been at the center in some way. “My work has always been autobiographical. Earlier works, I would say, were more about my unconscious dreams and nightmares, and then that evolved into work about my family and Alzheimer's. A few months ago, I decided I wanted to start to explore my identity as a gay man.”
credit him alot with the inspiration that I have for these drawings that I am doing now.” The drawings are magnificent, extremely detailed colored pencil self portraits of Trujillo as himself, an intimate expression. This artistic and personal shift will be displayed for the first time at Art Gym in Sexxxhibition. “I am really excited to re-introducing myself. I am definitely changing it up. I created an all- new website and new Instagram account towards re-branding myself as a queer artist. I see myself as working in this medium for many years, if not for the rest of my career.” The exhibit is co-curated by his partner, James Mullane, and the curator of Art Gym, Elke McGuire. It is on display now. “My partner and I, we follow a lot of artists who talk about the subject of sex. But we feel like when we are out looking at exhibitions in Denver, we don’t see a lot of that. So we wanted to bring that to the community and to Denver. It’s a great representation of all forms of sex. From the gay perspective to the straight, male and female, all of the works are not necessarily about sex—but they imply sex because of the image of the breast, or in my case, the underwear. They are sensual in nature. So it’s really exciting.” For Trujillo, this exhibit displays how sex and love are universal and beautiful in all forms, which aligns with his own growth in loving himself and his process of making art. “When I was focusing on making a career in art, I feel like I got a little to caught up in what’s going to make me successful. I got a greater reaction from doing these sculptural installations. So, in my mind, that was the key to a career. I’d say that last year, I reached a point where I decided that I am just going create work that I want to create, that I love to create. I am less focused on my audience’s reaction, and I am more focused on my own reaction and whether or not people love it. I love it. “It's about just enjoying the process and not having any other expectation but that. It’s been a real weight that has been lifted.”
This shift marked a change in the subject as well as the medium in which Trujillo worked. It also marked a shift in his own perspective of himself as an individual and an artist. “It’s not something that I have always been comfortable with. I wish I was comfortable with it more as a undergrad and had explored it more, but I wasn’t. Growing up, I had to suppress those feelings, and I am sure a lot of queer people can relate to that. I dealt with some bullying— I was good at avoiding situations like that—but at the same time, I wasn’t my authentic self. That is very hard and caused me to become depressed. “But then, when I got with my partner, who I am with now for 11 years, he is really the type of person who really doesn’t give a f*ck what anybody thinks about him. He just does him, no apologies. He has really influenced me to just be me. So I really OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM
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Isn't It Romantic?
Quee r Love On The Sc reen
By David-Elijah Nahmod In the mood for a good, old-fashioned love story? Here are a few films that focus on romance with a queer twist. All of the films are available on DVD and streaming platforms.
Boy Meets Girl (2014) DIRECTOR: ERIC SCHAEFFER 95 MINUTES
A charming, romantic comedy about love, sexual exploration, and pursuing one's dreams. Boy Meets Girl is a nobudgeter about Ricky (Michelle Hendley), a transgender girl living in small-town Kentucky. Ricky has big dreams; she hopes to move to New York to become a fashion designer. She and Robby (Michael Welch), her best friend since childhood, are close confidants, though their relationship is strictly platonic. Sparks fly when Ricky meets Francesca (Alexandra Turshen), a wealthy debutante. Their attraction to each other is instantaneous, and pretty soon they find themselves in bed together. Francesca, who identifies as straight, is engaged to be married to a young soldier currently serving in Iraq. This sudden turn of events confuses her. 3 2 \\ F E B R U A R Y 2 0 , 2 0 1 9
"I'm curious; does this make me gay?" Francesca asks. "I don't think so," says Ricky. "Bi-curious?" "I don't know," replies Ricky. "Well, it has to make me something!" "Human?" The two carry on their flirtation while Robby stands by. He and Ricky engage in several graphic, hilarious discussions about sexuality which raise the question: how do Robby and Ricky really feel about each other? Boy Meets Girl is a delightful film that questions gender and sexuality roles in a good-natured way. It's very much a love story. As the film progresses, it becomes obvious that there's more going on between Ricky and Robby than mere friendship; there's a chemistry between them that cannot be denied. Will they act on it? Michelle Hendley shows real star power in this, her screen debut. Hendley is herself transgender, and she plays Ricky with a self-assurance that a cisgender actor could never have accomplished. It's a rare thing to see a trans role played
by a trans performer, and director Eric Schaeffer should be commended for bucking the Hollywood system in making his casting choice. Funny, thought provoking, and romantic, Boy Meets Girl is a delight. Highly recommended. In addition to DVD, Boy Meets Girl is available via YouTube, Google Play, iTunes, Amazon Prime, and Hulu.
Brotherly Love (2017) DIRECTOR: ANTHONY J. CARUSO 119 MINUTES
At nearly two hours, Anthony J. Caruso's slow-paced film feels a bit long. Some of the characters might be seen as negative stereotypes, yet there's something oddly likable about this low-budget indie. Director Caruso also stars as Brother Vito, who lives in a Catholic monastery and is about to take his final vows. Vito is torn between his calling and the gay life he'll be leaving behind. He still goes out cruising with his somewhat flamboyant gay best friend Tim (Chance McKee), though he stops himself when he spots a hot guy checking him out. Vito agrees to spend the summer doing live-in volunteer work at a church-run home for people living with AIDS. Sparks fly when he meets Gabe (Derek Babb), the home's pretty-boy gardener. The two are obviously falling for each other, but Vito has his vows to think of. Will he succumb to his natural desires, or will he remain true to his vows? Will he and Gabe find happiness together, or are they fated to go their separate ways? Brotherly Love is, first and foremost, a love story about two people who seem destined for each other. Vito and Gabe have quite a hurdle to overcome, but Gabe never gives up hope. Both characters are so goodlooking and so sweet viewers can't help but root for them. Auteur Caruso creates some real tension as the guys become closer and closer, each struggling with their feelings for the other, each wanting to act on those feelings. Shamelessly romantic, Brotherly Love is a film about what can happen when your soulmate comes along. Though the film has its flaws, it’s a sweet story, worth a look while cuddling with the one you love. In addition to DVD, the film is available via Amazon Prime, iTunes, and Google Play.
The Bubble (2006)
apart. For a brief while, it looks like things may work out.
DIRECTOR: EYTAN FOX 117 MINUTES
Inspired by Romeo and Juliet, Eytan Fox's The Bubble is set in the hip, Israeli city of Tel Aviv, often referred to as "the bubble" because it's isolated from the endless wars the rest of the country is so often plagued by. The Bubble tells the story of Noam (Ohad Knoller) and Ashraf (Yousef Joe Sweid). Noam is Israeli; Ashraf is Palestinian. Both are gay. They meet and instantly fall deeply in love. But this is no simple love story. These men have to overcome the animosity that exists between the two peoples, the harsh restrictions which the Israeli government places on Palestinians, and the intense homophobia of Palestinian society. But they love each other so completely that they cannot be
The Bubble is a powerful film, a strong cry for an end to the Israeli occupation and to the perpetual state of war the Israelis and Palestinians have lived in for many decades. It's a cry for peace and a call for both peoples to learn how to love each other. It was a courageous move for director Eytan Fox to frame this message around a gay love story. Like Romeo and Juliet, Noam and Ashraf are star-crossed lovers surrounded by a world that will not accept them. Theirs is a love that cannot have a happy ending. Profoundly romantic, moving, and sad, The Bubble is a must-see film that will stay with viewers long after the final fade-out.In addition to DVD, The Bubble is available on You Tube, Amazon Prime, iTunes, and Google Play.
OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM
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Desert Hearts (1985) DIRECTOR: DONNA DEITCH 96 MINUTES
Desert Hearts captured the imagination of LGBTQ people when it was first released in 1985. At the time, queer films were rarely produced, yet here, bucking the norm, was a lesbian love story directed by a lesbian filmmaker. The film beautifully captures the ambiance of its setting: Reno, Nevada in 1959. It tells the story of Vivian (Helen Shaver), an emotionally repressed straight (so it seems) woman who comes to Reno for a quickie divorce from an empty marriage. While there, she meets the much younger Cay (Patricia Charbonneau), a free-spirited gal who flaunts her lesbianism and doesn't give a damn what anyone thinks about it. Cay takes one look at Vivian and is instantly smitten. Vivian accepts Cay's friendship, but at first, she rejects the other woman's sexual advances. But soon it becomes apparent that Vivian's long-suppressed attraction to women is coming to the surface. The two women make love in a scene that's both tender and quite erotic. Desert Hearts remains a groundbreaking film more than 30 years after its initial release. As one of the first positive portrayals of lesbian love in the movies, it was years ahead of its time. Today, it’s considered historic; a print of the film has even been donated to the Outfest Legacy Project for LGBTQ Film Preservation. As a love story, Desert Hearts is sweet, tender, and uplifting. A must-see for women, but this male viewer was also captivated by the timeless love story of Vivian and Cay. In addition to DVD, Desert Hearts is available on Amazon Prime.
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VALENTINE'S DAY WITH THE COLORADO GAY RODEO ASSOCIATION Photos by Charles Broshous
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VALENTINE'S DAY WITH THE COLORADO GAY RODEO ASSOCIATION Photos by Charles Broshous
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Pride as a Tool for Mental Wellness As a therapist who works primarily with queer people, I see day-in and day-out the effects of systemic oppression and bigotry on resilience. We are exhausted by society’s need for us to justify our humanity by constant misnaming, miss-pronouning, and misgendering, in addition to violence, hatred, and fear. The idea that Pride is a place where most of us feel accepted and no longer the outlier is not a novel one. But I’m thoughtful of how we rarely validate how essential these moments are to our mental health. In my own story, I have found that being surrounded by heteronormativity and misogyny drains me. I often feel like I have this battery pack of energy that I can
use to manage those moments, and throughout the year people continuously take from it. What is essential is identifying the ways we can recharge. Is it volunteering at Rainbow Alley to give back to queer youth? Is it coffee with people in our community whom we love and trust? Is it joining queer athletic leagues or social clubs? Or is it taking time out of our year to attend large gatherings of like-minded folks such as Pride? This kind of recharge is what provides us with resilience to better cope with anxiety, depression, and other forms of mental illness. So, my question to you is, where are your recharging stations? Do you know? Are you aware of how and when your battery is being drained? If not, let’s find out. Justin R. Lewis, M.A, LPCC – The Denver Element
OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM
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By Brent Heinze
HEINZESIGHT
Misconceptions about love
W
e grow up learning about love by seeing examples from people around us, watching stories developed in Hollywood, and hearing about this amazing concept that makes people feel elated. It can be elusive for some, while others are fortunate enough to experience it throughout their lives.
desire to develop a caring relationship are the cornerstones. Others feel that love is a rare experience that is only shared with a few, extremely special people. Regardless how you perceive or experience love, it is something in our lives that can give us hope, happiness, and increase our desire to reach out an embrace someone special.
Sometimes it is about searching for a single soulmate to live out the remainder of your years. Others desire experiences where feelings of love can grow between people without limiting the number of connections that can be developed. We may even define the notion of love in different ways.
With as many definable characteristics that exist for the concept of love, we may also have some preconceived notions about it that rarely happen or are mostly illogical. One of the main problems with creating a set of rigid rules about the way that we want love to look and feel in our lives is that we risk feeling disappointed when life doesn’t meet our expectations.
Some may consider love an extremely strong bond between people where compassion, understanding, and a true
We may think we are being cheated, or that our experience is less than fulfilling, because it doesn’t check off all of the
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qualifications that we think it should. Rarely does anything in our lives go completely according to plan or happen the way we may imagine. It is extremely important to look at each relationship independently using objective ways to determine if it is a good one. It is so much more important to know if the other person makes our heart or groin bounce with excitement. Every relationship is unique, beautiful, and fulfilling in its own ways. Consider the following set of ideas we may be holding on to regarding love and how they may be more detrimental to our enjoyment of this beautiful feeling than to actually enjoying it. Be careful to not fall into these unrealistic expectations, or you might not recognize when an amazing love is staring you in the face.
Love means neve r having to say ‘I'm so rry’ Being a human
with faults is enough of a reason to apologize for a variety of things we can mess up. There are times when we may act thoughtlessly, irrationally, emotionally, or impulsively. Developing love between people should allow us to feel more comfortable with apologizing for a variety of missteps without as much fear of rejection, judgment, or the demise of the relationship. Love actually means you can be saying that you are sorry even more frequently than in other relationships.
Love conque rs all
This is rarely the case. You can have the best of intentions; enjoy similar things; and have an amazing emotional, sexual, physical, social, and spiritual connection, but there are times when all of these things combined may not be enough to continue a relationship. There are difficult realities between people that can signal the demise of a relationship regardless of how much other compatibility exists.
Love should be like a fairytale
Loving someone should be easy Although developing strong, emotional feelings about someone can sometimes come on quickly and with little effort, building and maintaining a long-lasting connection can come with its own set of challenges. Love is often complicated and inconvenient, especially when it comes unexpectedly. Life happens, and situations occur that cause frustration, instability, and freakouts. Having love in a relationship can be a huge benefit in getting through these rough spots. The positive thing is that when love is right, it can be a beautiful experience and totally worth the effort that needs to be put into it to face difficulties.
It may look like a fairytale, but it’s not the Disney one that many people hope for. Honestly, many of us experience our fairytale version of love through the eyes of a John Waters comedy of errors paired with a Dr. Seuss-esque style of ridiculous situations. Many times, highimpact relationships aren’t formed by a straightforward and simple chain of events. They are often combinations of being in the right place at the right time with the right mindset and being aware enough to notice someone intriguing.
Love is unconditional
This is a fantastic theoretical belief that rarely works in practice. It sounds great to say, but we all have conditions in our relationships. There are hopes, expectations, promises, and at times, actions, that cause anger, frustration, and disapproval. A more accurate idea may be to say that you will continue to love someone in spite of their mistakes and character flaws. OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM
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