02.11.09 Outlook Weekly - Valentines Day

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02 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY FEB 11 - FEB 17 2009

SNAPSHOT

GREGG DODD'S UGLY SWEATER PARTY: NO ONE DOES KITSCH AND CAMP LIKE SENATOR DODD. GARISH WAS THE WATCHWORD AS REVELERS LEFT THEIR TASTE AT THE DOOR. NO WORD ON WHETHER THE HOT TUB GOT A WORKOUT LATER THAT EVENING. PHOTOS BY CHRIS HAYES.

VOLUME 13 NUMBER 32

OWNERS AND PUBLISHERS Michael Daniels & Chris Hayes EDITOR-IN-CHIEF / ART DIRECTOR Chris Hayes hayes@outlookmedia.com ASSISTANT ART DIRECTOR / PHOTOS Robert Trautman traut@outlookmedia.com

LOSE THE JACKET, POSEUR

AN ESTROGEN SANDWHICH

AHH, WHO FORGOT THEIR ORBIT GUM?

FAMILY REUNION

PRIZEWINNERS OF COLUMBUS, OHIO

FASHION FAUX-PANORAMA

MANAGING EDITOR Adam Leddy aleddy@outlookmedia.com CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Regina Sewell, Rev Mark Belletini, Matthew Arnold, Rev Margaret Hawk, E Magazine, Aaron Leventhal, Trevor Cleaminette, Adam Lippe, Ariana Adams, Romeo San Vicente, Jack Fertig, Simon Sheppard, Dan Savage, Jennifer Vanasco

BUSINESS & ADVERTISING DIRECTOR Michael Daniels mdaniels@outlookmedia.com NATIONAL ADVERTISING Rivendell Media - 212.242.6863 ADVERTISING DEADLINE Each Wednesday - 8 days prior to publication Call us at 614.268.8525.

VIRGINIA'S FREAKSHOW @ AXIS: THE FREAKSHOW LIVED UP TO THE HYPE, WOWING AUDIENCES AT EACH OF ITS 3 SHOWS. VIRGINIA WEST IS STILL A FREAKY LADY AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, AND THE SUPPORTING CAST GOT THEIR FREAK ON AS WELL. BRAVA! PHOTOS BY TRAUT

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NICE FREAKIN' BICEPS

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FEB 11 - FEB 17 2009

BOTTOM IN A TOP-HAT

QUEEN OF THE DAMNED

WONDER TWIN POWERS ACTIVATE

SNAPSHOT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .2 ABOUT TOWN . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .3,30 LETTERS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .4,25 COMMUNITY CORNER . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6 EARTHTALK . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .8 OUT IN FAITH . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .9 OUT BUSINESS NEWS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .11 INSIGHT OUT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .13 COMMENTARY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .15 FEATURE: VALENTINES DAY . . . . . . . . . .16-20 TRAVEL . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .22 DEEP INSIDE HOLLYWOOD . . . . . . . . . . . . . .24 ARTS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .24 INTERVIEW / FILM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .26 CLASSIFIEDS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .27 SEXTALK . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .28 SAVAGE LOVE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .29 THE LAST WORD . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .31 SCOPES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .31 NEXT WEEK: GUESS WHO’S COMING TO DINNER?

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 03

ABOUT TOWN WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 11 GET WORKING ON YOUR NETWORKING! Network Columbus @ The Arena Grand Movie Theatre, 175 W Nationwide Blvd, 614.268.8525, http://networkcolumbus.com: This month, get your network on with faith leaders from across Columbus. 6p; free.

THAT’S SO METRO Columbus Metropolitan Club Lunch Forum @ The Athletic Club of Columbus, 136 E Broad St, 614.464.3220, www.columbusmetroclub.org: “Analog Blackout, The New Age of DTV” 12p1:15p; $17-$35.

BRING YOUR BRAINS AND PIPES Trivia & Karaoke @ Score Bar, 145 N 5th St, 614.849.0099, scorebarcolumbus.com: Anything Goes Trivia with Sam and fabulous prizes at 7p, followed by karaoke with KJ Mark and a chance to win a trip to Ft Myers, FL. 7p; no cover.

I’LL HAVE A HAIRY BUFFALO Biker Bear Happy Hour @ Tradewinds II, 117 E Chestnut St, 614.461.4110, http://tradewindsii.com: A happy and hairy time with the Columbus Ursine Brotherhood and their bear, cub, and admiring friends. 4p-9p; no cover.

SPICE IT UP Fiesta Night @ U, 782 N High St, 614.421.2233, www.columbusnightlife.com: $2 Coronas and $5 bluetinis are sure to spice up your Wednesday.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12 WHAT IS ‘SANTORUM’?

Gay Jeopardy @ Asbury United Methodist Church, 55 W Lincoln Ave, Delaware, RSVP to 740.368.1629 or tonymartha@columbus.rr.com: The Delaware Gay Straight Christian Alliance puts a gay spin on everyone’s favorite brain game. 7p; free.

ART DORK DOC Beautiful Losers @ The Wexner Center for the Arts, 1871 N High St, 614.292.3535, www.wexarts.org: A celebration of a group of Lower East Side artists. Thu-Fri 7p; $5-$7. See page 30 for more info.

TOKYO TALES chelfitsch @ The Wexner Center for the Arts, 1871 N High St, 614.292.3535, www.wexarts.org: The Japanese theater ensemble presents Five Days in March, perfect for a weekend in February.

Thu-Sat. 8p; $10-$16.

ABE’S A BIRTHDAY BABE Lincoln Birthday Celebration @ The Ohio Statehouse, High & Broad, 614.466.3774, www.ohiostatehouse.org: The Ohio Statehouse will commemorate the 200th birthday of Honest Abe with a ceremony and celebration, the unveiling of a special exhibit and special historical presentations. 10a; free.

I LOVE FULL FRONTAL. AND FULL REAR. Sketch You Can Believe In @ MadLab Theatre, 105 N Grant Ave, 614.221.5418, www.madlab.net: This year, Full Frontal Nudity takes a break from our usual Valentine’s Day show to bring you the answers to all those questions you wished you could ask the president. No spin. No mercy. Thru Feb 14. 8p; $6-$10.

OUTLOOK WEEKLY STAFF CALLS IT ‘HAPPY HOUR’ Leather and Fetish Night @ Flex, 1567 E Livingston Ave, 614.252.0730, www.flexbaths.com: Nuff said. 4p.

by Adam Leddy

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13 COLUMBUS HOMOS ARE TALKIN’!

CHAT Social @ Club Diversity, 863 S High St, 614.244.4050, www.clubdiversity.com: Single guys meet & mingle. Could Friday the 13th be your lucky day? 5p-9p; free.

OVEN LOVIN’ Hansel & Gretel @ Studio One, Riffe Center, 77 S High St, 614.469.0939, www.ticketmaster.com: People and puppets work together to tell the classic tale. Fri-Sun thru Feb 22. Fri 7:30p, SatSun 1p & 2:30p; $10-$20.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 14 KATIE MY LADY Katie Reider Rocks Back @ Lifestyle Communities Pavilion, 405 Neil Ave, www.ticketmaster.com: Celebrate Katie’s life and music. Proceeds benefit Stonewall Columbus, Camp Sunrise, and Girlz Rhythm N Rock Camp.

6p; $10.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 15 HAIL TO THE CHIEF Presidents’ Day Showtunes @ U, 782 N High St, 614.421.2233, www.columbusnightlife.com: Honor our many gay presidents: Buchanan, Lincoln, Bush, Bush, and little Calvin Coolidge (sub bottom). 9p; free.

AMATEURS LEARN TO TAPE IT UP So You Think You Can Drag? @ Wall Street Nightclub, 144 N Wall St, 614.464.2800, www.wallstreetnightclub.com: An open stage for would-be queens and kings. $2.50 Absolut cocktails all night. Doors 8p, show 9p; free.

MAD ‘ABOOT’ HOCKEY, EH? Ohio Mayhem vs. The Rox @ Chiller Ice Works, 401 E Wilson Bridge Road, 614.433.9600, www.gayhockeyohio.com: See the gay hockey team in action. 8:10p; free.

PUT THAT ON YOUR PALATE OSU Women’s Rugby Wine Tasting @ Axis, 775 N High St, 614.291.4008, columbusnightlife.com: The OSU Women’s Rugby Alumni group hosts a wine tasting to raise money for travel, union fees, and referees. 1p-4p; $20-$30.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 16 C’MON GET HAPPY Tremont Happy Hour @ 708 S High St, 614.445.9365: Tremont is happy seven days a week, with well liquor and domestics for $2 and call liquor for $3. 1p-8p every day; no cover.

PITCHERS? HOW BOUT CATCHERS? Pitchers & Pool @ Somewhere Else, 1312 S High Street, 614.443.4300, http://somewhereelse.org: $5 beer pitchers, $2 well drinks, and free pool and darts. No cover.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 17 FEATURING AN UNCENSORED KEYNOTE BY BILL CLINTON Total Internship Management Workshop @ The Center for Workforce Development, 550 E Spring St, register at www.eventbrite.com: The Total Internship Management Workshop is designed to help you build a win-win internship program within your organization. 9a-4p; $129-$149.

HOPS AND GREASE FOR CHEAP Cheap Date Night @ Slammers, 202 E Long St, 614.221.8880, http://slammersbar.net: $4 domestic beers and 11” - pardon me, want to think about those 11 inches for a moment - one-topping pizza for $12. Open 11a-12:30a.

FEB 11 - FEB 17 2009

04 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

LETTERS Boycott Club 20 Until Owner Apologizes To the Editor: With the recent political climate changing, people across the United States are becoming actively engaged in local, state, and national issues. We are encouraged by our newly elected leader to volunteer, participate in debate, and speak out when we have new ideas or see unresolved problems. In the spirit of our new found (or re-found?) civic duties, I feel compelled to express my disappointment in a recent event involving racism, derogatory language, and violence in a small, independently owned gay bar right here in Columbus.

Club 20 reopened on January 29 after a year or more of construction to repair the damage caused by a devastating fire. With the increasingly small number of “neighborhood” gay bars in our city, and the lack of any bars north of our arts district, the revitalization of Club 20 was heralded throughout Clintonville as a return to the good old days. Imagine my and other patron’s disappointment, then, when in the midst of celebration the owner of Club 20 turned aggressive and even violent toward the majority of his clientele.

The source of his aggression is still a matter of debate, but it appears that there was a misunderstanding in the exchange between himself and one other patron; that patron was promptly, although “accidentally,” head butted and left lying on the floor. The aggression then turned toward anyone within walking distance as most were shoved out of the bar and became recipients of hate speech such as “faggots,” “niggers,” and “queers.” As the crowd moved toward the street, the police were called for “unruly conduct,” though before the owner could speak with an officer he had already begun charging into the departing crowd and chasing members down the street. Most were lucky enough to escape unharmed, but at least one more found himself the recipient of unprovoked aggression resulting in a very sore and swollen jawbone.

Of course, most anytime alcohol is involved, words and disrespectful actions on both sides are exchanged, though in this case they were the direct result of the fear and anger the owner perpetrated by harassing his own patrons. It is a

business owner’s right to conduct his or her business in any matter they see fit, but it is the consumer’s right to be informed, and the consumer’s responsibility to hold them accountable.

When a business establishment exists within the framework of a marginalized sect of society, it becomes even more important that the members of that society demand tolerance and respect.

If we continue to patronize businesses that perpetuate racism, hate, and violence, we are then opposing the very ideals we have espoused for decades. This is why I, and hopefully many readers, will no longer support Club 20 until we have received a public acknowledgement and apology for the actions that were committed recently, and a promise that racist, hate-filled speech will not be accepted within the doors of that establishment.

Zachary Reau Columbus

An Open Letter to President Obama Dear President Obama: First allow me the opportunity to congratulate you on becoming the forty-fourth president of the United States. I, like many Americans, was glued to the various web-casts of you taking the oath of office, pledging to defend the constitution. (I believe the words were: “will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.”)

I am a simple man. I pay my taxes. I follow the laws of our nation, my state, my city and my God. I go to church every Sunday, worshipping along side my fellow Lutherans. I do charitable works, including serving meals to the poor, at an inner-city church. I am also a gay man in a committed, monogamous twelve-year relationship with a man that I am lucky to have and lucky to call my partner.

I wish that I could say that as I watched you take the oath of office that my heart was filled with joy, but it wasn’t. It is with great regret that I admit this. Like many I opened my heart and mind to listen to your message and found my way to offer you my support and vote.

I was willing to forgive you for stating during the debates that you didn’t support gay mar-

riage, considering Hillary Clinton also stated her opposition. I would like to believe that deep down, both you and Hillary have no issues with gay marriage, because for you to really have an issue with my partner and I going to a church that welcomes us to perform a marriage would mean that you were telling me that your relationship with Michelle was considered better than mine with Joel. That your relationship is, in the eyes of God, more worthy to receive God’s blessing. Is that what you’re saying? I’m hoping not, or rather, I’m praying that your statement of not supporting same-sex marriage doesn’t mean that and that you were only bowing to political pressure, saying what your political advisors said you had to say, in order to get elected. That is my hope.

I assumed that this would be the end of my disappointments with you. So I continued to listen to your message and began to believe in you again. I even went so far as to purchase a yard sign and even put a somewhat large Ohioans for Obama sticker on my car. My partner Joel jokingly referred to it as a bull’s-eye for pro-gun bitter Republicans to aim at. We laughed about it.

And then, you came out with your choice of Rick Warren, to say the inauguration prayer and I lost my faith again. I talked about it with many of my friends who defended you. They understood my disappointment, but felt the move was savvy on your part, to draw in conservative support. And then, much to my shock, your inauguration committee decided not to include Bishop Gene Robinson as part of the HBO telecast. Yet another slight on the gay community. How your organization could not have realized that it would be considered a slap to the face of the gay community, the same community that came out in strong support of you, truly amazes me. Either the people that advise you don’t understand the gay community (actually I think just about any community would be insulted if the bishop represented them, so I’m guessing it was just plain ignorance) or they really don’t care.

However, the selection of Warren was something that I could not let go. I’ve always humbly claimed not to know everything, but what I do know is public relations, marketing and politics.

I understand how the decision of Rick Warren came to be. Your inauguration committee held one of many meetings to discuss the “who, what continued on pg 25

The Reader Poll

Last week we asked:

Do you have a Valentine this year?

53% Yes! 18% I don’t need a Valentine to be happy 12% No, I am unlovable 6% Yes, but we have an under standing 6% I’m taking applications 6% Other including answer: He’s not my Valentine; he’s my HUSBAND!

NEXT WEEK’S QUESTION:

Have you ever been the victim of intimate partner violence in a relationship?

Log on to: www.outlookweekly.net to take this week’s poll.

63%

SOURCE: GALLUP

FEB 11 - FEB 17 2009

CATEGORY

JAN 20 ’09

FEB 09 ’09

DIFFERENCE

AMERICAN DEAD

4,226

4239

13

AMERICAN WOUNDED

30,934

31,010

76

IRAQI CIVILIAN DEAD

98,605

98,911

306

NATIONAL DEBT

$10,605,968,804,933 $10,631,474,866,187 $112,029,318,354

DAYS IN OFFICE

1

20

19

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 05

FEB 11 - FEB 17 2009

06 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

COMMUNITY CORNER

Cleveland Families Count Launches Campaign to Protect Domestic Partner Registry Efforts are officially under way to campaign to protect the recently passed domestic partner registry in Cleveland. The registry, passed by a 13-7 vote of the Cleveland City Council on December 8, 2008, is set to take effect on April 1.

Rev. C. Jay Matthews has launched a petition drive to force the repeal of the ordinance.

The legislation was introduced by Ward 13 Councilman Joe Cimperman and signed into law by Mayor Frank Jackson. “We are trying to show that we are a serious city when it comes to tolerance,” said Cimperman, “and we will work aggressively to protect this ordinance.”

Since December, volunteers have been canvassing neighborhoods to identify voters who would be supportive of the measure should the pastors succeed in placing the issue on the ballot. A campaign committee has been established and officially registered with the Cuyahoga County Board of Elections. The group is raising funds for the fight. “This is a campaign that could cost thousands of dollars, even hundreds of thousands,” said Lynne Bowman, one of the committee members. Bowman is also the executive director of Equality Ohio, a statewide LGBT advocacy group out of Columbus.

Other committee members include Sue Doerfer, executive director of the LGBT Center of Greater Cleveland; Keli Zehnder, president of the Cleveland Stonewall Democrats; Leslye Huff, a civil rights attorney; Jacob Nash, executive director of TransFamily; John Farina, a local activist and campaign strategist; Sherry Bowman, an African American LGBT journalist; Kevin Calhoun, co-chair of People of All Colors Together; Mike Schuenemeyer, United Church of Christ - National LGBT Office; and Brian Royer, Northeast Ohio field director for America Votes.

While the registry helps to cultivate a gayfriendly image for Cleveland - and boost revenues - it is also available to opposite sex couples. The registry is legally nonbinding. Employers and other organizations are not forced to extend any benefits to couples that register.

“It is our hope that with this legislation in force, employers will feel compelled to offer health care and other benefits to unwed couples,” said committee treasurer John Farina.

The Call & Post newspaper went on record supporting the domestic partner registry in the January 22 issue. “Love is love and commitment is commitment any way you slice it,” the newspaper noted.

The Cleveland NAACP also passed a resolution in support of the registry. Voters in CleveFEB 11 - FEB 17 2009

land Heights adopted a similar law in 2003.

Toledo City Council approved Ohio’s only other registry in 2007. According to the Human Rights Campaign, an organization focused on LGBT issues, more than three-dozen municipalities and counties across the country have domestic partner registries.

CLGSA Preps for Softball Season With the recent weather, summer seems a long way away, but it’s not too early to start thinking about summer softball. The CLGSA Board is preparing for another great season.

Here are a few important dates for managers and players.

Information meeting, Sunday, February 22, 1p, Stonewall Center on High (upstairs): The board will be sharing important information with managers and interested players about the upcoming season. We will be using a new rating system to split the divisions. Important dates for registration, skills clinics, and dates of play will be released at this meeting. We will also be reviewing the World Series qualification process for those teams interested in playing in the World Series in Milwaukee. All managers are encouraged to attend.

First managers’ meeting, Sunday, April 19, 1p, Stonewall Center on High (upstairs): The managers’ meeting is the first official business meeting of 2009. New conference chiefs will be elected and all rules of play can be reviewed, changed, and officially adopted. All team and player registrations and team fees will be due at this time.

First day of play: Sunday, May 3, Berliner Park.

We will sharing additional information about registration parties and skills clinics in March and April. If you are interested in more information please send your questions to info@clgsa.net.

Support the Holiday Inn Worthington, the Host Hotel for Winter Wickedness Please make a phone call now to support the Holiday Inn Worthington, the host hotel for Adventures In Sexuality’s (AIS) Winter Wickedness event taking place February 6-8 (www.adventuresinsexuality.org/wicked09.html). The religious extremist group Americans for Truth About Homosexuality and a local religious radio station in the Columbus area are running a smear campaign against this pansexual BDSM event.

Peter LaBarbara of Americans for Truth About Homosexuality calls the event “a freak-

ish sadomasochistic perversion-fest” and urges people to call the hotel’s corporate headquarters to pressure them into canceling “for the sake of decency and public health.“ Bob Burney, a religious extremist talk radio DJ, devoted an entire segment of his show slamming Winter Wickedness and attempting to link the event with non-consensual and criminal activities. He urged his listeners to call and mount a campaign against the hotel.

It will only take a minute for you to help! It doesn’t matter where you live or if you’re not going to attend this event. Please call the Intercontinental Hotels Group Corporate Customer service line at 800.621.0555, then press option 1, then option 5, and thank them for not discriminating against groups, and for being willing to face minor adversity for the sake of our freedom. Please ask the operator to log the call.

Suggested points to make: 1. Thank you for upholding the Fair Accommodations Act and choosing not to discriminate against legal events.

2. Please don’t let a small number of religious extremists manipulate you by drumming up fear with their misinformation campaigns.

3. There are over 200 weekend-long BDSM events that take place every year in America.

We bring in a lot of revenue in these hard times. We like to stay at hotel chains where we have been welcomed when we’re traveling on personal or business travel.

4. Organizers of BDSM events such as Winter Wickedness at the Holiday Inn comply with state and local laws prohibiting public sexual intercourse and other forms of sexual intimacy.

Demonstrations, lectures and discussion groups as well as dinners and evening parties compose the variety of offerings to guests, nothing different from any of the other hundreds of conventions hosted by your franchisees on a weekly basis.

5. Thank you for standing strong against hate and ignorance.

The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom is a national organization committed to creating a political, legal, and social environment in the United States that advances equal rights of consenting adults who practice forms of alternative sexual expression. NCSF is primarily focused on the rights of consenting adults in the SM-leather-fetish, swing, and polyamory communities, who often face discrimination because of their sexual expression.

Short North Business Association Launches Member 2 Member Discounts The SNBA launched the much-anticipated Member 2 Member (M2M) Discounts program last night at its 2009 Annual Meeting. Attendees were the first to receive their SNBA Mem-

bership cards, which also serve as M2M Discounts identification cards. Member businesses can offer special discounts or promotions to their fellow businesses via the program. An online listing of the current specials is available when members login to the shortnorth.org website. Once you login, click the “M2M Discounts + Offers” button on the right side of your screen. Check this link periodically to see what has been added or changed. Note that offers are subject to change without notice.

Below is a roster of initial offers included in the program. To take advantage of the discounts, please present your SNBA membership card at the time of purchase. If you have not received your membership card by February 13, please contact the SNBA office. Note that only one card will be created per business.

To include an offer from your business, contact Morgan Baughman at 614.299.8050 x11 or Morgan@shortnorth.org. As you consider what offer you would like to make, please review the notes listed at the bottom of this page.

Arena Grand Theater, Betty’s Fine Food + Spirits, Bodega, Byzantium, Columbus Eyeworks, Cookware, Sorcerer, Kickstart, The Lamp, Shade, pm gallery, r design, Surly Girl Saloon, Zeta Emporium.

Dunkin’ Donuts Comes to Downtown Dunkin’ Donuts will celebrate the opening of a marquee location on the corner of Broad and High Streets on Wednesday, February 11, 6a. As part of the grand opening celebration that day, Dunkin’ Donuts will be giving away over $1,000 in gift cards, as well as plenty of other promotional items.

In addition to providing award winning coffee and baked goods, Dunkin Donuts will also offer a DD Smart Menu with healthy menu choice options, free Wi-Fi for guests who are dining in and catering to go options that are great for meetings, office parties and holiday events.

The restaurant, located at 2 East Broad Street covers 1,500 square feet, employs a crew of 35 and seats 20 people. The restaurant design, reminiscent of the company’s roots that date back over 55 years, combines contemporary features to infuse Dunkin’ Donuts with a new, modernized appearance. The new restaurant features advanced equipment to meet the demands of today’s busy customers seeking high-quality food and beverage choices quicker and better than ever before.

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 07

FEB 11 - FEB 17 2009

08 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

EARTH TALK

Dear EarthTalk: It seems like more products are being packaged in #5 rather than #2 plastic today, and my local recycling agency won’t take #5. I’ve also heard that #5 plastics are more toxic, which concerns me more than the recyclability issue. Which plastic is the better choice?

Janice Shaffer Polypropylene, which is marked with #5 inside the “chasing arrows” symbols on the bottom of plastic containers, is a lighterweight plastic resin commonly used in dairy and deli packaging. Some companies have chosen this lighter plastic because it has a lower environmental impact to produce and transport.

High-density polyethylene (HDPE), which is marked with #2, is a stiffer resin used to package cleaning products and also some dairy products. The most widely used resin type for consumer food products is polyethylene terephthalate, or PETE, which is marked with #1 and used for soda and water bottles.

According to Consumers Union’s “Greener Choices” website, all three of these plastics are considered safe for their original use, though any of them can leak toxins when reused repeatedly. And all three can be recycled, though a lagging market leads some recycling locations to limit what they’ll accept. There is also concern that widespread plastics recycling encourages more use of plastics, and that efforts would be better spent getting consumers to buy fewer plastic-encased products. Some even criticize the chasing-arrow labeling system for implying a higher level of recyclability than is presently available.

Why is a lighter-weight plastic better? According to dairy company Stonyfield Farm, their #5 one-quart yogurt container uses 30 percent less plastic than a #2 cup. Since it takes less material to make a thinner container, it reduces the amount of resin that needs to be manufactured. Stonyfield estimates that the use of #5 over #2 prevents

the manufacture and disposal of more than 100 tons of plastic per year.

But savings comes from more than manufacturing. The heavier #2 plastics require more energy to transport. It’s not only getting the yogurt from Stonyfield’s plants to your store, but also getting the containers from the plastics manufacturer to their dairies. In fact, the company cites a packaging study by the Boston-based Tellus Institute, which found that 95 percent of the environmental costs of packaging lie in production and less than five percent are associated with disposal.

According to the website Earth 911, a national directory of recycling outlets, the best thing consumers can do is to choose items with less packaging and buy in bulk when possible. So the next time you reach into the dairy case, grab the quart or gallon-size yogurt instead of the single-serving cups.

Then, make sure you recycle only the allowable plastics so you don’t contaminate the lot. While recycling is important, it may be okay to landfill a product’s packaging if it was created with an environmentally responsible plan.

Besides seeking alternatives to plastic packaging, consumers can affect overall plastic use by supporting legislation that would require manufacturers to take back their plastic packaging, which would encourage “cradle-to-grave” practices. Further, you can support legislation that mandates more use of recycled plastic content, which would reduce the overall amount of virgin plastic produced in the first place.

CONTACTS:Stonyfield Farm’s Earth Actions, www.stonyfield.com/EarthActions, Consumer Reports’ Greener Choices, www.greenerchoices.org; Earth 911, www.earth911.com.

GOT AN ENVIRONMENTAL QUESTION? E-mail: earthtalk@emagazine.com.

FEB 11 - FEB 17 2009

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 09

OUT IN FAITH

by Rev. Margaret Hawk

Valentine’s Day Is Our Day

Conservative Christians seem to have a problem with a lot of American holidays.

Wanting everyone to bend to their preferences at Christmas, they tend to kill the “peace on earth, goodwill to all” idea when they argue that secular institutions should display religious images. And don’t even start them on Halloween - my brother refused to allow any of his children to participate in classroom Halloween parties at school and never, ever, allowed trick-or-treating. It’s not surprising that some conservatives also take offense at Valentine’s Day. According to History.com, there are at least three popular versions of the legend of St. Valentine. My favorite version says, “Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men - his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine’s actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.”

How cool is that? When an unjust law forbidding marriage for some was enacted, this radical priest defied the law and honored affairs of the heart instead! Forbidden to marry in Ohio and most other US states, queer folks should be buying out the florists and clearing Anthony Thomas and Cheryl’s Cookies’ shelves! We have the chance to celebrate in solidarity with a rule-breaker who chose love in the closet over a life of unjust obedience; a priest who knew that the call of the heart was as valid as the call to civic duty; a priest who knew the sacredness of love and the ho-

liness of the human embrace. I think we should be busting Valentine out of his closet and claim Valentine’s Day as our chance to promote the right of all adults to love and marry whomever they choose.

Of course, the other problem conservative Christians have with Valentine’s day is that is has roots in pre-Christian traditions. Yes, yet again, the Christian church tried to make it easier for converts by letting them keep their old holidays, but with a Christian twist.

OK, I’m being kind. The church enticed converts and/or placated them by assuring them they wouldn’t have to give up all their favorite celebrations. We Christians did it with Valentine’s Day, Christmas and even Easter and it seems to me that doing so makes us kissing cousins with all who still follow ancient paths.

Why can’t we admit that there just may be a holy spark in any attempt to reach out to the divine, the source of life and love, the energy/Spirit that allows for true balance, justice and peace? Why can’t we get our heads around the notion that there is a sacred aspect to any and all acts of love - from the simplest acts of respect or compassion or friendship to the hottest embrace of lovers?

I, for one, suggest we celebrate Valentine’s Day with hopeless, romantic abandon. Let’s dare to dream of a world where love can speak its name openly and proudly; where people of all religious traditions can live together in respect; where unjust laws are routinely resisted with creativity and sacred subterfuge! Indeed, let’s make it an exceedingly Happy Valentine’s Day this year - and for many years to come.

Rev. Margaret Hawk is senior pastor at New Creation Metropolitan Community Church.

FEB 11 - FEB 17 2009

10 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

FEB 11 - FEB 17 2009

Spotlight:

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 11

OUT BUSINESS NEWS

by Adam Leddy

CHRIS CANNON KICKSTART

Chris Cannon likes scooters and coffee. The thing that makes him cooler than you or me is that he’s managed to turn his passions into a viable business venture. Since opening The Kickstart in November, Chris and his wife Stully have been providing the Short North with a one-stop shop for quality joe and sleek twowheelers. Chris reached out to Outlook to tell our readers about the baddest coffee shop on the block.

Adam Leddy: Where did the bike shop/coffee shop idea come from?

Chris Cannon: I used to have a job that I hated going to. My very supportive wife got tired of hearing me bitch and proposed that I start my own business doing something that I enjoyed.

It was either coffee and scooters or cigars and writing songs for pets.

AL: With so many caffeine junkies in the Short North, and so many coffee shops to serve them, how do you grab a share of the market?

CC: Our coffee comes directly from the roaster (Caruso’s Coffee) weekly to make sure we’re brewing fresh. Also, we carry fresh baked goods from several local bakeries even though it’s a pain in the ass logistically to make pickups every day. We carry items from Bakery

Luebbe Recognized for a Successful Year Darla Luebbe, CRS/GRI/ABR, of Keller Williams Capital Partners Realty (located in Worthington), recently received recognition in three categories at the company’s annual awards party: Top Selling Solo Agent, Top Selling Units by a Solo Agent, and Top Selling GCI Solo Agent. Luebbe was also awarded the prestigious Certified Residential Specialist designation, which is held by just 4% of all realtors in the United States. Realtors who receive the CRS designation have completed advanced courses, passed difficult testing, and demonstrated professional expertise in the field of residential real estate.

Darla was born in Clintonville and is a Northland High School graduate. She has been a realtor since 1988 and resides in Westerville with her family and two Chihuahuas, Lily & Lola. In case you’re curious, in 2008 40% of Darla’s business was gay and lesbian! CALL THE LESBIAN: 614.431.1003!

Gingham (best cupcakes), ABC Cookie (best cookies), Pattycake (best vegan and whoopie pies), and Eleni Christina for biscotti and scones (best scones).

AL: Aside from the obvious (scooters), what differentiates The Kickstart from the other coffee shops in town?

CC: Our coffee doesn’t suck. Also, we’re open long hours - starting at 6a on weekdays and staying open until midnight on weekends. Our baristas are the nicest and we have free parking for our customers.

AL: The Kickstart has a lively events calendar.

What sort of fun evening activities can customers join in on when they stop by for coffee?

CC: We have open mic night every Saturday so poets or musicians can get involved then.

We have barista tales and cards and coffee on Monday, speed dating on Tuesday, Columbus band hour- where we play music from local bands. We’re still looking to add some events pole dancing lessons and snake handling classes are just a couple ideas we’re considering.

love the gays, and why?

CC: Are you kidding? What’s not to love? We like to support the neighborhood here in the Short North and involvement in the GLBT community is a big part of that and you guys are the voice of that community. Also, we need people to know where we are. We’re a little hidden; tucked in the corner of the parking lot on the corner of High and Price next to Salon Lofts and it’s easy to drive by and not even see our sign. People living within a couple blocks of us drive by without realizing what we do. We’re a coffee shop - a full-blown coffee house with lattes, scones, and other fancy stuff, but not too many people realize that. But back to the GBTL community: what events, functions or meeting could we host for you? Let us know!

AL: Aren’t scooters dangerous for city driving? If that’s a myth, what are some other misconceptions about scooters?

CC: Yes. Scooters are dangerous, but with the right safety equipment and training, people can learn to minimize the risks associated with riding. They’re a blast to ride, get great gas mileage and are excellent for city driving since they’re so nimble.

relative to your customer base as a whole?

CC: Everyone’s buying scooters now. College students, young professionals for commuting, empty nesters for recreation, and seniors ride them everywhere. I’d say the percentage of GLBT scooter buyers from our shop is about 50%. I don’t know if that’s higher than the national average or not, I haven’t seen any statistics to that level of detail.

AL: How do I know which is the right scooter for me?

CC: Start with the color. Too many people are looking for reliability, a warranty, and available service when what you really want is something that you look great on and that can fit a 6-pack and bag of ice under the seat. This part’s important. If the under-seat storage isn’t lined with plastic, it’ll rust out.

Seriously though, the process of finding the right scooter is a personal one and can be as simple or complex as you make it. Check out our website (thekickstart.net) for questions you need to ask yourself and the information you’ll need to make an informed decision. In short, compare the following: price; reliability/warranty; how does it look?/is it fun to ride?. Unless you want vintage, always buy from a dealership.

AL: You actually reached out to Outlook to build a relationship. Tell us how much you

AL: Who is buying scooters these days? Are a lot of GLBT people in the market for scooters,

Rector Tops in December Closings and Production

BBB Warns: Your Facebook Friends Could Be Hackers, Scam Artists, and ID Thieves

Realtor Fred Rector was recently recognized as the top agent in closings and production for the month of December in HER Real Living’s Metro office.

Fred has been a Realtor with HER Real Living for 14 years and has won numerous awards for outstanding sales and service, including the prestigious 25 Million Dollar Club by the Columbus Board of Realtors. Fred has also been involved in several CBR committees and has been a long time supporter of many of our local and national organizations.

Fred has been a resident of Victorian Village for several years and served 4 years as a member of the Victorian Village Commission, the architectural review board that has helped shape Victorian Village into the vibrant community it is today.

Fred is grateful to all of his customers and friends for their support over the years. He can be contacted at 614.579.6784.

Social networking websites are a great way to find old classmates, stay connected with friends, or even make new friends. Unfortunately, though, hackers have learned how to use websites like Facebook in order to disseminate viruses or steal identities. Better Business Bureau is offering advice on how consumers can protect themselves against hackers, scammers and ID thieves on social networking websites.

The popularity of social networking websites has grown immensely in the past few years. According to the blog Inside Facebook, as of December, Facebook was growing at a rate of 500,000 new users a day and is approaching 150 million active users. Facebook estimates that, in total, users spend more than 2.6 billion minutes on the website every day. As a result of the increase in popularity, scammers are seeing an opportunity to step in and ply their trade.

“Social networking is extremely popular because it allows us to connect and reconnect with people we know and trust,” said Joan Coughlin, BBB spokesperson. “Scammers know that they can take advantage of that trust by masquerading as friends, families, and coworkers in order to easily disseminate viruses or steal personal information such as bank or credit card numbers.”

BBB offers the following advice for staying safe on social networking sites: • Be extremely wary of messages from friends or strangers that direct the user to another website via a hyperlink.

• Before wiring money to a friend in a jam, users should attempt to contact their friend outside of the social networking site, such as over the phone or via e-mail to confirm the situation. If that’s not possible, BBB recommends asking them a question that only they would know the answer to.

• Users should always make sure their computer’s operating system and antivirus and firewall software are up to date.

• Social networking sites are about sharing information, but BBB recommends that users take steps to keep important information private. While some social networking websites do allow for the user to share phone numbers and addresses, it’s best to keep such information private.

• Be selective when choosing friends. While a user might not want to be rude, BBB recommends that it’s best to decline a request for friendship if the user doesn’t actually know the person.

For more advice on staying safe online, go to www.bbb.org.

FEB 11 - FEB 17 2009

12 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

FEB 11 - FEB 17 2009

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 13

INSIGHTOUT

by Regina Sewell

YouSuck.Com It’s 2am. You can’t sleep. Your cat left the bed with a disgusted sneer. The thoughts in your brain are spinning around like heavy jeans in a commercial washing machine. You think about getting up, getting a book to read, finishing that project for work, sorting your sock drawer, vacuuming your carpet … anything to stop those thoughts. But resistance feels futile, and anyway, it’s warm under the blankets. So you surrender to your destiny and surf into the “YouSuck.com” website (not the porn site - in this state of mind, not even masturbation is “safe sex”) in your head and log into the “members only” area. “Odd,” you think, “Passwords are usually impossible to remember, but I’ve never forgotten my password to this site.” You take this as a sign that you were meant to surf here and lull yourself into a state of agitated peace.

It’s like coming home, really. The old tapes that used to play in your head have been converted into 3D files with images that you can see and feel as well as hear. Virtual reality is the best! Only it hurts like hell because it’s playing back all those scenes you wish you could erase from your internal hard drive that are beaming back to you in a high definition digital quality that wrenches your gut. You watch yourself say that thing you said to your mother when you were so frustrated that you felt like you would explode, and see the hurt crinkle across her brow before she turns and walks away. You watch yourself yelling horrible things at your ex when you found out s/he was having an affair. And even though it was true, you’d give anything to take it back so that you didn’t become the person s/he accused you of being. And you see yourself snapping at your best friend that night s/he pushed you just a little too far. You watch your friend recoil from you and see yourself as a monster in his/her eyes. You understand now that as much as you’d like, you can never take these words back. You feel like shit.

You click on, “OK! Enough already!” but the page that comes up is even more gut wrenching than the one you were just on. This page is playing a video of your father, or maybe it’s your mother (it’s your video, you decide), telling you how you’ve disappointed them.

They’ve never really said this so clearly in real life, but here, in HD video with stereophonic sound that could break glass if Ella Fitzgerald was singing, they’ve quit pulling punches.

They’re finally telling you just how very much you suck. They are telling you that you’re an utter, complete failure, a disgrace to the family name. You’ve let them down. Either you never had kids, or you had them and you really managed to fuck that up. Or, they wanted you to be an accountant and you became an artist, or vice versa. Or, if you became what they wanted you to become, you managed to screw that up as well. Doesn’t matter. You fucked up. Oh, and by the way, you were a miserable child and they will never forget how you [fill in the blank, it was your childhood]. If you’re lucky, your siblings aren’t lined up to add fuel to the already roaring fire. If not, well … burn, baby burn.

And then, just when you think you can’t take your family’s messages anymore, the screen changes. You sigh audibly. “Finally,” you think, “it’s over.” Silly you! You logged onto the “members only” section of www.YouSuck.com. There’s no easy way out of this, at least not before you’re writhing in agony. Luckily for you, this page may actually do the trick. It’s playing a slideshow of your doubts, backed by surround sound audio, just in case you’d miss the point in silence.

First there’s your job, or your lack of a job, or your lack of significant money from your job, or the fact that even though you’re getting paid, too much in fact, for what you do, you’re a total fraud and you’re lucky no one else has figured it out, or…

Wait! It’s a new screen. Now you’re on the

dreams page. Forget them. You suck! You’ll never get there. What the hell were you thinking by even bothering? All that money, or time, or both. Might as well have flushed it down the toilet. Click!

New page and another audible exhale. Relationships. Oh joy! You suck. You’re the absolutely crappiest girlfriend/boyfriend ever. You don’t listen well.

You’re too cranky. Too irritable. And you have some really, really annoying habits. Oh, and your sexual prowess … forget about it. You’re lucky anyone ever slept with you a second time. What were you thinking? And to add insult to injury, your cat, or maybe it’s your dog, or your kid, or if you’re having a really bad night, your therapist, has just panned in and told you, in no uncertain terms, that you are the most pathetic creature to ever exist on the planet.

Here’s where the Wi-Fi connection to your brain breaks down. Somewhere, a voice in your head begins to question. “How can I possibly be the most pathetic creature to ever exist on the planet? Do the website administrators not have cable? Do they not realize that people actually watch shows about people robbing convenience stores? Have they not watched reality TV? Have they not watched people eat unspeakable things just to stay on the island?

Did they not watch Sarah Palin in those moments the RNC wasn’t able to protect her from herself? Did they miss the last eight years of the Bush administration? At least I can pronounce nu-cl-ear!”

You’re on a roll now. “Damn it, I may not have been the perfect child, but I got some things right. How many kids write poetry for Mother’s Day? It’d be a hell of a lot easier to send flowers. And I may not have been the best lover ever, but I wanted to be, and baby, oooh baby, give me a chance, and tell me what you want…. And even if it’s only tying my shoes or vacuuming, I can do some things well. Shit. I can do a lot of things well, even

though I’m having a hard time thinking what they might be in this very moment. OK, like, at least I’m funny. Like, when my tree pose (yoga) looks like its being blasted by hurricane force gales, at least I make the teacher laugh.

“And ok, so that plant in my office died. I tried to revive it. It came with the office and I nurtured it and loved it and gave it full spectrum light and Amish worm castings (no, I don’t know what those are, nor do I need to know). The god or goddess of plants must have recognized my efforts. And my finances?

Well, Suze Orman (she’s a lesbian you know!) is telling me what to do about those.”

Now that you’ve logged off the YouSuck.com site, I’m guessing there are at least 10 things you can think of that you like about yourself. I don’t care if you have to start out with, “I have really cute feet”; start your list. (I’m sure you do have really cute feet!) If you need help, you might note that you can make a really neat bow when you tie your shoes. And that people like your [blank] and that you’ve been kind to [blank] and you always [blank]. (You can fill in the blanks yourself.)

Write the list out and add more examples.

When you’re done, tuck it under your pillow.

And next time you can’t sleep, instead of going to YouSuck.Com, reach under your pillow, grab your list of positive attributes, and remind yourself that you are lovable, absolutely and completely lovable, even if you don’t always get everything right. Then, take a deep breath, and let yourself drift slowly and peacefully into sleep.

Regina Sewell is a mental health counselor with a private practice in Worthington. To ask a question, propose a column topic, read about her approach to counseling, or check out her books and other writing, go to: www.ReginaSewell.com. Her most recent publication, “Sliding Away” can be found in Knowing Pains: Women on Love, Sex and Work in Our 40s, edited by Molly Rosen.

FEB 11 - FEB 17 2009

14 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

FEB 11 - FEB 17 2009

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 15

COMMENTARY

by Rev. Mark Belletini

Rick Warren at the Inauguration? Milk Would Have Approved The Bank of America at Golden Gate and Hyde in San Francisco suffered robberies every week. I was a teller there for a year, and although I myself never had to face a gun, I was glad for the “police-teller” (an officer assigned to the bank to deal with robberies) next to me. One day, his walkie-talkie went off, and so he quickly shut down his counter. He went into the back room to take the call. He came out a minute later, pale and wide-eyed. “Someone just shot and killed the mayor! And that guy! I have to run over to city hall right now!” (It was two blocks away.) I knew which “that guy” he meant. Supervisor Harvey Milk. Who else?

I don’t remember how I learned that there was going to be a march from the Castro to city hall that night, silent, candlelit. But my lover and I went and marched.

Those candles still march through me to this very day, and on despairing days, brighten my hope.

When I saw the film Milk, I relived those days again. I wept, of course, the first time. But on seeing it a second time, I noted how carefully director Van Sant refused to romanticize Harvey. He not only portrayed Milk as broken in his love life, but he also showed the kind of relentless, unsentimental and roll-up-your-sleeves grassroots work it takes to get anything done in this stubborn world where the privileged hold on to what they have with white knuckles. The film reminds us that Milk worked with those who hated him.

He worked with those who didn’t know much about him, or had foolish understandings. He daily forged allies from every culture and color, and never for a moment saw himself as unconnected to the lives of everyone else in his district, whether they were gay or not. He did not live as if he were entitled, and things should just come his way “just because.” He was too much of a realist for that.

As a Unitarian Universalist minister here in Columbus, I’ve been thinking about Harvey a lot lately. I’ve been reading all of the complaints about Pastor Rick Warren leading the invocation at President Obama’s inauguration. Although I am part of the “gay community,” and do not happen to be an evangelical Christian (or a Christian at all, in most ordinary meanings of that term), I was moved by Senator Obama’s leadership in asking him to accept this honor.

The Senator knew that this country is made up of people of all kinds, including people, like War-

ren, with distorted and disastrous understandings of people like me. But this guy is not going to just wake up one morning and suddenly be a pro-GLBT secularist. Picketing his church, writing him excoriating letters, chiding him for his prejudicial biblical interpretations may make me feel good, but its hardly appealing to this man’s humanity.

And he is human. To categorize him as the devil, as a monster, is to merely take a page from his book and fling it back at him. It’s to divide the world up between the saved and the damned, the right and the wrong, the righteous and the evil, the us and the them, the either and the or.

Did he say cruel things during the Prop 8 campaign in California? Yes. Does he proclaim things I find baffling and outside the realm of what I would call moral: i.e. blood atonement, hellfire, etc? Yes, indeed. Do I think he has spoken from both sides of his mouth at times?

Yes. And is he a human being, part of the nation I claim as my own, I who also am a human being? Yes. Vilifying him will not change him. But inviting him to pray in front of the world, in front of literally billions of people, as Senator Obama did, appealed to that humanity. And Pastor Warren, strange to tell, rose to the occasion. In a country where many televised conservative evangelical mouths (Robertson, Hagee, etc) excoriate Islam on a daily basis, Warren quoted from the Quran several times, favorably. In a world where the president of the Southern Baptist Convention once famously said, “God does not hear the prayer of a Jew,” Warren quoted part of the Sh’ma, the foundational Jewish prayer. And in the middle of the prayer, he said, “When we focus on ourselves, when we fight each other, forgive us.

We are united not by religion … but our commitment to freedom and justice for all. Help us to share, to serve and seek the common good for all.” He said these words. They are everywhere.

He cannot take them back. “Freedom and justice for all.” “Seek the common good for all.” Progressive words. Inclusive words.

Admittedly, I would have prayed a much different kind of prayer had I been asked. I do not share theology with Pastor Warren at most counts. But, so what? He rose to the occasion from within his tradition, stretching it to be as inclusive as possible. As the Senator suspected he would, and then dared ask him. That’s real leadership, by the way. Taking such risks.

Milk would have understood what President

Obama did. He appealed to the humanity in people, and didn’t write them off as devils worthy of sending to hell. He felt that with patience, organization, hard work, and by refusing all entitlement and magical thinking, refusing to react with angry and reactionary violence, you might actually bring authentic healing to a wounded world.

The four passionate but peaceful marches portrayed in the film Milk are one with the other marches in 20th-century American history that protested the status of black men, women and children in a nation built on white privilege, and the debacle of the Vietnam War. To respond to an oppressor with bile or bloodshed turns you into an oppressor as well. The gay Quaker Bayard Rustin shared this view with Baptist Martin Luther King Jr. The Hindu Mahatma Gandhi understood this. Catholic humanist Danilo Dolci understood this. The Muslim Badshah Khan knew this. The Maori Te Whiti knew this. The mothers circling the Plaza in Argentina knew this. The Unitarians Noah Worcester, Lydia Maria Child, Mary Ovington and John Haynes Holmes, and the Universalist Adin Ballou, all knew this.

When the Swiss reformer John Calvin burned his critic, Miguel Serveto (one of the forbears of my religious movement) at the stake, a cry went up around Europe among those who shared these views as well. Sebastian Castellio, for example, wrote forcefully, “To kill someone is not to safeguard your opinion. It’s to kill someone.”

Theologian Walter Wink tells a moving story about how refusing to respond to unkindness with unkindness actually worked in South Africa, before that nation’s remarkable non-violent transformation from a country of cruel apartheid to a country where many colors and cultures share power. (South Africa remains the only African country to perform gay marriages.) Wink speaks of a black woman strolling a city street with her children at her side when a white man came up and spat in her face as he walked by.

“Thank you,” the woman said to the contemptuous man. “And now, for the children.” The man’s rude push for power was stopped. He hurried off silently, his shoulders drooping, confused, and forced - it’s easy to imagine - into self-reflection, possibly for the first time in his life.

I think President Obama’s request to Pastor Warren falls along these lines. I have to wonder what goes on in his mind after returning to Saddleback and his home.

The religious congregations in the Unitarian Universalist Association are often remarkable examples of different religious stances living side by side without anyone lighting a match to get rid of their distinct neighbor. Atheists celebrate life here alongside those who are not sure if the word “God” means anything, and alongside those who live deeply into their vision of God. Folks who revere Jesus as a great teacher worship side by side with those who prefer the sutras of the Buddha to the parables of the gospels. Humanists sit next to mystics, cautious skeptics to passionate poets of the spirit. Such e pluribus unum works in smaller communities like ours, not always smoothly to be sure, but for real. I think our new president has enough leadership skills and courage and non-anxious presence to offer us a larger, national version of the same idea, and he showed that he does by inviting a man with whom I agree on very little to offer a prayer at the beginning of his presidency.

The last two decades have been an era when our nation was rudely divided between the saved and the damned, the right and the wrong, the righteous and the evil, the us and the them, the either and the or. Back in 1990, Newt Gingrich circulated a memo entitled “Language: A Key Mechanism to Control.” The memo told conservative powerbrokers to demonize liberal ideas as much as possible by using words like “sick, traitor, anti-family, anti-flag, anti-jobs, corrupt, permissive, anti-child, cheats, etc.” Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity, Michael Savage, Bob Jones, and that Focus on the Family guy are the bumper crop grown from seeds planted by Gingrich. Fighting against such a strategy by merely lobbing back “Whacko!” “Nutjob!” “Moron!” and “Insane” doesn’t appear to lead anywhere but in a tight circle. Who needs that?

Milk’s been gone for a long time now. But he showed us that vision, leadership and organization are necessary to accomplish anything in this world. Instead of waiting for a new Harvey Milk to pop up from nowhere, what would happen if we cultivated leadership, vision and organizational skills in smaller groups? Eventually, trustworthy leaders would rise up, encouraged, supported and empowered from the ground up. Not bestowed from heaven above, but shaped by our own desires “to seek freedom and justice for all.”

Any takers?

The Rev. Mark Belletini is senior minister at First Unitarian Universalist Church of Columbus.

FEB 11 - FEB 17 2009

16 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

FEATURE STORY

Welcome to Valentine’s Day

by Adam Leddy

Since I never have a sweetie to dote on, I like to incorporate the fun elements of other holidays to make Valentine’s Day a bit more bearable. First, a big turkey dinner with all the trimmings, and then a fat bearded man with a bulging sack comes over for cookies and milk. Once it’s good and dark outside, I dress in the scariest costume I can find and do a little door-to-door solicitation of the neighbors. After a few pints of Old Harper, it’s time to set off some illegal fireworks in the backyard, until the cops haul me off to the tank to dry out. Cigarette butts and bitter recriminations are the bumper crops. I hope your Valentine’s Day is as special as mine.

Whether or not you have a special someone of your own, Outlook has everything you need to know to make your Valentine’s Day weekend a success. We have a love story that will give hope to even the most jaded singles, and a gift guide sure to please even the pickiest partners. We’ve collected some of the best VDay activities to keep you and your paramour busy as beavers, and even some events that the chronically unloved can enjoy on their own. In short, something for everyone.

So if you have a main squeeze, give him/her a little extra loving this weekend. And if you don’t, not to worry. St. Patrick’s Day is right around the corner, and the love of your life might just be waiting in a pile of green vomit down at the local watering hole.

Don’t give up the ship just yet.

A Fairytale State:

A Mystic, Connecticut Destination Wedding

by Ariana Adams

You are invited to attend The Wedding Celebration and Joining of Two Souls: Ariana A. Adams and Jan E. Richards.

We had dreamed of a wedding invitation announcing our wish to formally unify our relationship as soon as we knew we were ‘the ones’ for each other. We had the usual romantic notions of a wedding day, the same fairytale dreams every American believes is hers to wait for. We also believed in the spiritual rite of passage that comes from our Christian-Judeo background. Our relationship was blessed and guided by God and we owed it to ourselves and our family and friends to publically be held accountable for our commitment to each other. Our simple answer to “Why get married?” was not unlike any other couple.

However, we are a same-sex couple and our answer is more complicated. We had to consider not only the personal significance of our marriage but also how it was going to be received by extended family and friends and how to actually plan a wedding that wasn’t some sort of “parody” of a wedding. Also, as much as we didn’t want our big day to be a political statement, it would be impossible, if not irresponsible, for us not to honor the political significance of our choosing to have a gay wedding.

We chose Connecticut for our personal relationship to the area, and because Connecticut recognized civil unions. Like our forefathers and foremothers who looked to the Northeast for a new

way of life and freedom to live as they chose, we, too, looked to the Northeast as the birthplace and protector of our new married life. Civil unions were what could be offered to us and it was definitely better than what we could hope for in Ohio.

Historically, marriage denotes a new branch on our family trees. Until recently, we gay couples had not been offered a historical branch, a fact not lost on our friends Rick and Tom, who were married in Ohio in 2007. Rick explained, “There is a historical portent to getting married, at least within our families. My family history is full of straight couples getting married, and here, at last, is a gay couple. We are the first generation in Western history to enjoy same-sex marriage recognition and that is amazing.” For us, at least in some town hall in our country, our relationship would be legally documented. We would become a matter of historical record.

Mystic, Connecticut, was our wedding destination. Located on the banks of the Mystic River, Mystic is a village-like town that is both as steady and ever changing as the tides that come in from the Atlantic. We fell in love with the town and its people, and the planning commenced. Separately, we found our wedding officiate, Marie T. Wiley, on the Internet. We excitedly told each other that we had found just the right person to perform our ceremony.

We had never met Marie T. Wiley; we had no personal recommendations. The fact we both discovered her was the only recommendation we needed. Our entire relationship and the planning

Cupid Ain’t Stupid: Valentine’s Gifts That Will Get You Some

Heart On Love him tender, love him true with seductive new selections from Ginch Gonch. The 2009 Valentine’s collection is comprised of three pumped-up picks, available in a trio of colors and cuts guaranteed to have your hot spots overheating.

Each daring design features glitter accents for added glam around his yam, and come packaged with naughty names like “Heart as a Rock” (white), “Frosted Fakes” (black) and “Razzle-Dazzle” (red). It’s as if the warden threw a party in the county jail. ($27-$32; GinchGonch.com)

FEB 11 - FEB 17 2009

Ring Leader Whether you make sweet love or hump like rabid hares, the LifeStyles Vibrating Ring is sure to tickle your pickle. Designed to enhance stimulation and provide pulsating ecstasy through soft vibrating studs, this pliable silicone device maximizes comfort while delivering pleasure of Pompeian proportions. Each multi-use V-Ring is condom compatible and lasts for up to 20 minutes of elevated action, giving you the most bang for your fuck - er, buck. ($7.95)

by M i k e y Rox

Love Blossoms Nothing embodies eternal love quite like wilted wildflowers. Enter Ovando, whose Sweetheart Arrangement will literally last a lifetime. Available in red, pink or white carnations or roses, this decorative keepsake enables you to profess your undying devotion without saying a word. After Potion No. 9 has lost it potency - and it will - just lay the bouquet flat and allow to dry. Once dehydrated, the encasement can be hung anywhere as a reminder that though amour may wither, it doesn’t have to die. ($175-$225; OvandoNY.com)

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FEATURE STORY continued from pg 16 of the wedding had been a series of serendipitous events. We felt guided in our actions and blessed by the cosmos itself. We were not led astray. Marie T. Wiley shared our spiritual views on marriage and didn’t treat our ceremony with any less significance because it was a civil union. Perfect. Cross another task off the planning list.

October 2008. The Connecticut Supreme Court crossed an even bigger task from our community’s list. The court said our civil union wasn’t enough; we deserved more and equal. Surreal. We were going to be married with a marriage license! We had always been those people who said language didn’t matter. You could call it whatever you wanted as long as the benefits were equal. We didn’t know how wrong we were until we had the choice to be married. Our language changed, the way people referred to our wedding changed. People spoke of our wedding with a new respect. It was no longer us playing house, pretending like we were grownups in a grown up relationship. We were adults with marriage expectations and an adult license to say we were legally responsible to each other.

A marriage means more. People know what a marriage is - spiritually, legally. We were truly going to be like every other doe-eyed couple walking down the aisle.

We had immediate questions, though, for Marie T. Wiley: What did we need to do differently? What did she think about performing a marriage as opposed to a civil union? And how did we now apply for a marriage license? She was the wedding officiate aficionado. We didn’t need to do anything differently. We had to sign the papers, pay the fee and wait three days. Marie couldn’t have been happier to lead us down this new and unexpected road. A vocal ally of the gay community, she even chooses not to marry couples who aren’t gay friendly. In her words, with the Connecticut Supreme Court decision, “Love actually won out this time!”

Invitations were mailed, deposits were paid, catering and florist details were finalized, and reservations were confirmed. The wedding weekend of December 11-14 finally arrived. The weekend began with an antic-filled “Welcome to the Adams-Richards Mystic Wedding” party at famed Mystic Pizza, location of the 1988 pop culture hit by the same name. Tourists and locals alike enjoy the secret Portuguese pizza sauce while being surrounded by movie stills and Julia Roberts and crew looping on the numerous flat screens.

The neighborhood feel of the restaurant was graciously extended to our 30-plus wedding party.

We received congratulations from

all the patrons (even local law enforcement officers!) and the fun Mystic servers. Not once did we have to downplay the reason for our party’s excitement because of the threat of ridicule or judgment. We, as a couple, were cheered and literally embraced by everyone. We have never experienced such unmitigated acceptance for our relationship. What a beginning!

Inhale. Friday was the day of the wedding ceremony. We had already had our first little cere-

mony of sorts in Stonington, Connecticut, on Monday, taking our oath in front of the Town Hall Clerk for our legal marriage license. Now, it was time to take our oath in front of God and our guests.

When we started planning our wedding, we knew that for us, the weekend was not only a celebration of our love and commitment to each other, but also a celebration of our friends and family who supported us. We enlisted the energy and talent of all of our friends to help execute the events. We had a friend create our musical playlist - anything Miles Davis and classical jazz for cocktails and dinner, and an assortment of danceable music for post revelry. One friend was in charge of capturing candid shots of the entire weekend, while other friends were the floral arrangers and interior decorators. Of course, one friend took on the role of wedding planner. We didn’t make it to our wedding night by ourselves, and we wanted our night to be created with the same level of collaboration.

Everything was as we had dreamed it to be. We were married at the Seamen’s Inne on the property of the Mystic Seaport, The Museum of America and the Sea, a re-created 19th century coastal village complete with costumed museum educators. Mystic is truly a

mystical place during any time of the year, but, during the holidays, it is an escape to Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. The historic whaling ships wait- still - in the seaport on the banks of the seafaring town while cape-clad carolers sing by lantern lights along the streets.

Perhaps an ironic destination for our 21st-century wedding; however, the visual convergence of America’s history with our very modern nuptials punctuated the social evolution of our country and our relationship in it.

As if greeted by our ancestors, the Seaport and Inne opened their doors and hosted an authentic 19th-century holiday wedding. Mastheads on the walls, wood-burning fireplace in the corner, spruce, fir, and winterberries decorating the white linen tables, a formal atmosphere set the mood. “As a sign of my love and my knowledge that, in marrying you, I am becoming much more than I am,” we declared to each other on the hearth. “With the promise that I will love you all the days of my life … ” we dedicated ourselves to our marriage.

And, “With this statement made of love and trust and in accordance with the law of Connecticut and by the virtue of the authority vested in me by the state of Connecticut and in the name of God, I do hereby pronounce you Jan and Ariana Adams-Richards married in life for life,” Marie T. Wiley sanctioned our marriage. No one understood the significance of the last statement more than our friends Tom and Rick. Tom, having participated in the fight against the marriage ban in Ohio, felt and was overwhelmed with the personal and political significance of hearing that well known phrase.

“I did not fully grasp the historical significance [of the legalization] until the minister stated ‘power…through the state of Connecticut.’ At that moment, I let out a big ‘woo-hoo’ and realized even more the significance of our families being treated equally in our country,” Tom said.

Exhale. Inhale. Let the party begin. Champagne toasts and roasts, an impromptu choir concert from a local high school group internationally known for their theatrical performances serenading us with Christmas carols and a rendition of “Bim Bam” for our Jewish friends. The amount of love and energy among all of those present was powerful. A new family emerged from that evening. We were a new and extended marriage unit.

The moral of our tale and declaration to all of you is that you can have the wedding in your fairytale. You can dream, no matter whom you love, to have The Wedding Event of the Year with all of the pomp and circumstance attributed to weddings. You can dream to celebrate your relationship in front of friends, family, God, and a state.

Cupid Ain’t Stupid: Valentine’s Gifts That Will Get You Some

Happy Endings Your bathhouse membership won’t fly at Las Vegas’s Canyon Ranch SpaClub (located inside The Venetian and Palazzo hotels), but you can still wax that ass. Available through February, this high-end pleasure parlor offer Valentine’s treats for every budget, from the Fruit and Chocolate Facial (cleansing, exfoliation, steam, extractions, toning and a warming cocoa mask) to the Couples Rasul (an oriental purification ceremony that ends with a chocolate-cherry moor-mud mask and chocolate truffle body milk). Canyon Ranch also offers dinner and dessert for two to top off your co-ethereal experience. ($165 and up; CanyonRanch.com)

FEB 11 - FEB 17 2009

Eau de Gaultier At whit’s end on how to satisfy your hard-to-please label whore? Evian’s Prêt-à-porter Bottle by Jean-Paul Gaultier may be the ultra-luxe ticket.

Evian Natural Spring Water has partnered with the cutting-edge French designer to create a limited edition bottle for the fashionista who has it all but wouldn’t mind a little more. Très chic! And voulez-vous coucher avec moi. ($13.95; ShopEvian.com)

by M i k e y Rox

Undercover Lover If the economic crisis has your love locked in, consider spicing up your current surroundings for a night of planned passion. A fiscally responsible alternative to purchasing new furniture or reupholstering the old, the Stretch Pique Slipcover from Sure Fit comes in soft, seductive colors like garnet and chocolate, and transforms worn fabric into an inviting makeshift make-out center. The sensual surface is so soft and cozy you might not make it upstairs. But don’t fret - it’s washable. ($110; SureFit.com)

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FEATURE STORY

Valentine’s Day Happenings

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12 NOISY VAGINAS The Vagina Monologues @ Club Diversity, 863 S High St, 614.244.4050, www.clubdiversity.com: See what the female anatomy has to say about V-Day. Thu-Sun thru Feb 22. Thu-Sat 7p, Sun 2p; $12-$15.

TAKE YOUR SWEETIE Jazz Moves Take 2 @ The Capitol Theatre, Riffe Center, 77 S High St, 614.431.3600, www.balletmet.org/www.jazzartsgroup.org: A mesmerizing fusion of dance and music perfect for V-Day. Thru Feb 14. Thur-Sun 8p; $28-$45.

WOOF K-9 Valentine Pawty @ Three Dog Bakery, 611 N High St, 614.221.DOGS, threedog.com: Furry four-legged friends make the best Valentines. Take yours to this party. 4p-8p; free.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13 CGMC HITS THE V SPOT Obsessed @ The Van Fleet Theatre, 549 Franklin Ave, 614.228.CGMC, www.cgmc.com: Nobody does V-Day like the Columbus Gay Men’s Chorus. Saturday is sold out, so Friday is the only shot you have.

8p; $20.

DANCE DANCE DANCE Friday the 13th Anti-Valentine Party @ Wall Street Nightclub, 144 N Wall St, 614.464.2800, www.wallstreetnightclub.com: Guest DJ Daddy Whorebucks spins the hottest dance music. No cover with college or military ID. 9p; $5.

TO YOUR HEART’S CONTENT Heart’s Party @ Axis, 775 N High St, 614.291.4008, columbusnightlife.com: DJ Patrick Finn spins the party. Hot jocks in Pump later on. 10p; cover.

TUNES FOR SMOOCHIN’ The Jazz Ensemble @ Weigel Hall, 1866 N College Rd, 614.292.6571, osu.edu: The Jazz Ensemble provides an eclectic mix of tunes celebrating “bad luck/good luck,” as well as “valentine/sweetheart” songs. 8p; $4-$6.

FOR THE GIRLS AND GAY GUYS He’s Just Not That Into You @ Landmark’s Gateway Theater, 1550 N High St, 614.545.2255, www.landmarktheatres.com: Do yourself a favor. See this movie, and then stop calling him all the time. 8p & 10:40p; $6.50-$8.50.

REACH IN MY TRUNK Violette Market Trunk Show @ WhollyCraft!, 3169 N High St, 614.447.3445, www.violettemarket.com: Violette Market’s unique hand-blended perfumes make perfect V-Day gifts. 7p-9p; free.

HISTORICAL DINNER Candlelit Dinner @ Ohio Village, Ohio Historical Center, I-71 & E 17th Ave, 614.297.2266, www.ohiohistory.org: Elegant meal, love ballads, costumed entertainers.

Fri & Sat. 6:30p; $57.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 14 CUPID WILL BE THERE Valentine’s Red Party @ Wall Street Nightclub, 144 N Wall St, 614.464.2800, www.wallstreetnightclub.com: Red hot shadow box dancers, VIP card giveaways, Jell-o shots & drink specials, and more! No cover before 12a if you wear red. 9p; $5.

YOU’RE NOT THE ONLY LOSER Single & Bitter @ U, 782 N High St, 614.421.2233, www.columbusnightlife.com: Nina West hosts the anti-social event of the season. 9p; free.

GIVE IT A SQUEEZE Squishy @ MadLab Theatre, 105 N Grant

Ave, 614.221.5418, www.madlab.net: The comedy improv troupe will light up your life on V-Day. 10p; $5.

HUNGRY FOR SOME HITCHCOCK Vertigo @ The Wexner Center for the Arts, 1871 N High St, 614.292.3535, www.wexarts.org: Your V-Day film is an Hcock classic. Come early for the Warhol farewell party @ 5p. 7p; $5-$7.

SEXY BOX Valentine’s Day at Shadowbox @ Shadowbox Cabaret, Easton Towne Center, 614.416.7625, shadowboxcabaret.com: Shadowbox offers V-Day couples’ packages, with two tix to Bringin’ Sexy Back and a VDay buffet. 7:30p; $120.

MEOW! LoveCats Silent Benefit Auction @ ZenGenius Gallery, 433 E Prescott St, 614.220.9040, www.zencatgallery.com: The auction benefits the Feline Assistance Fund, supporting feline population control and foster homes for felines. 1p-4p; free.

FLOWERS FOR YOUR ALGERNON Valentine’s Day Sale @ Fresh Flowers & Events, 1629 W 1st Ave, 614.487.9619, www.fresh-flowersandevents.com: Great deals on flowers & gifts for your lover. 10a4p.

BLISSFULLY YOURS Chocolate Lovers’ Brunch/Dinner @ Sher Bliss, 274 S 3rd St, 614.428.WINE, sherbliss.com: Intimate atmosphere, gourmet food. Brunch 1:30p, Dinner 7p; $30-$35.

V-DAY COMMUNITY SERVICE Valentine Cookie Caper @ New Creation MCC, 2350 Indianola Ave, 614.224.0314, newcreationmcc.org: Help bake cookies for the homeless. Please RSVP. 10a; free.

COME GET YOUR HEART ON Leather & Lace Tony Shaw’s 5th Annual Leather & Lace Hearts Party returns to Q-Bar & Night Club Saturday February 21. This party was designed to take the bitter out of the most romantic time of the year by sharing the love the of friends, new and old alike.

At 9p, start off the evening with a “meet your match” happy hour. At 11p, feel your heart beat as DJ Chris spins high energy music and John Bove baths you in lighting love. Dance the night away with old & hopefully new friends till 3a.

Dress to impress, wear red, black, leather, or lace (but not required) and join hosts Tony & Ed for one of Columbus’ sweetest parties. $3 9p-11p, $5 after.

Cupid Ain’t Stupid: Valentine’s Gifts That Will Get You Some

Noah’s Arc: Jumping the Broom Noah and the gang head to Martha’s Vineyard for a weekend wedding getaway. But will mounting pressures and predicaments have Noah saying “I don’t”? ($24.99, DVD; $29.99, 2-pack DVD & CD Soundtrack)

The Lair: The Complete Second Season Bloodlust has never been sexier. The second season of here! TV’s gay vampire saga bears its teeth with a two-disc set containing never-before-seen footage. ($29.95, DVD)

Rent: Filmed Live on Broadway Twelve years after its Broadway debut, Jonathan Larson’s revolutionary rock musical bids adieu with a final performance. ($38.96, Blu-ray Disc; $24.95, DVD)

by M i k e y Rox FEB 11 - FEB 17 2009

It’s Not Me, It’s You Impulsive Brit import Lily Allen releases her sophomore album with more angst than an angry third nipple. Blender magazine recently described it as “part God, part country and all middle finger.” Misery needs company. ($18.98, CD)

Testimony: Vol. 2, Love & Politics Lyrical poet India.Arie returns after a three-year hiatus with even greater - if not optimistic - insight into the interconnectedness of humanity as a whole. ($13.98, CD) Who is Mikey Rox? Who gives a fuck! But you can find him at www.mikeyrox.com.

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OUT OF TOWN

by Aaron Leventhal

Evita: Tel Aviv’s Gay Oasis Shay Rokach and his two Israeli partners, Arnon Shabtai and Dodi Kapoia, all in their 30s, have created in just four years a unique gay oasis in the heart of Tel Aviv. Evita, their bar/restaurant/dance club, has blossomed into the undisputed center of gay life in Tel Aviv.

Searching for the right name for their club, Shay fell in love with Madonna’s movie portrayal of Eva Peron, and felt that the name Evita would convey the ambiance of an open, fun-loving, spirited gathering place for the gay community and its friends.

All three partners have extensive experience in working and managing gay establishments. After his military experience, Shay tended bar for Friendly Friday Freedom parties, organized by Shirazi, the leading figure for gay life in Israel. Both Arnon and Dodi managed popular gay cafes for many years.

Evita is located at 31 Yavna Street, a few blocks from Rothschild Boulevard. The club is open daily from 7:30p until “the last patron decides to go home,” which usually is about 2:30a on weekdays and 4a on weekends.

The venue is spacious, with seating for 40 on the front porch and another 75-100 inside the barrestaurant space. The menu is eclectic, with a wide assortment of salads, sandwiches, pastas, steaks and desserts. Beverages range from wines and cocktails to an extensive beer and liquor selection. A favorite is the nightly special, beginning at 1a with a choice of pizza, chicken and burgers with salad and fries for about $9.

But it’s the theme nights, bringing in 2,0003,000 patrons every week, that have led to Evita’s immense popularity. Sunday is Eurovision Nite, when videos are flashed on the wall and Evita turns into a rockin’ dance club. Tuesday is Drag Show Nite; Wednesday features live performances by musicians, many who have launched their careers from the club; and on Thursday, Friday and Saturday, celebrity DJ Sam Tairer spins discs and projects wild videos into the wee hours of the morning.

Shay notes that the clientele generally ranges in age from 18-50. However, the demographics change for each theme night, with older gays arriving early and the young set not showing up until after midnight. During the week, the crowd is mostly from metro Tel Aviv, but on the weekends the house is filled with guests from all over Israel.

According to Shay, Evita strives to be a place where people can relax from the daily stresses of urban life and the violence of the Middle East conFEB 11 - FEB 17 2009

flict. “Evita is like my home,” he says. “We’re looking to be profitable, but our hearts are in creating a quality atmosphere for the gay community.” He notes that Evita has taken on a leadership role by holding periodic gatherings to discuss important issues affecting the gay community. “We want our club to be a platform to bring change when needed.” He says that even though Tel Aviv is one of the best cities in the world for gays to live and work and there is absolutely no issue about gays in the military, social issues such as gay marriage and child adoption are still on the agenda.

Evita is also at the forefront of community service. Shay is particularly proud of its role in producing an original CD each year and selling it in the club with the proceeds donated to the Make a Wish Foundation.

Bearded, athletic, articulate and incredibly handsome, Shay also owns and operates UandI.com, where he builds social networks for corporations during the day. Three nights a week, from 6:30p until close, he runs the club, making sure that everyone who enters Evita feels welcome and comfortable. In between all of these activities he maintains a four-year relationship with his life partner Yossi, 49, who is a business and organization consultant.

And what does he do for relaxation? “I enjoy riding my cycle and studying Kabala with a group for three hours every Wednesday night. The essence of the mystical teachings is to learn to love completely - ignoring your own egotistical needs in order to truly see the needs of others.”

Evita is located at 31 Yavna Street in Tel Aviv.

Telephone: 03.566.5599. Website: www.evita.co.il.

Columbus-based travel writer Aaron Leventhal is editor and publisher of High Street Neighborhoods. In December 2009, he will lead a unique 10-day tour of Israel entitled “An Encounter With the People and Their Land.” For more information, log on to www.highstreetguide.net.

The Tel Aviv Gay Scene On different nights of the week, these straight bars and clubs have gay nights, attracting large crowds into the early morning hours.

Lima Lima - Mondays. Hip hop DJ. 42 Liliblum.

Theatre Club - Thursdays and Fridays. 10 Jerusalem Blvd. Shay says it attracts the big boys.

Homan 17 - Fridays. 88 Abarbanel St. PAG - Thursdays. PAGs are small parties held twice a month. 35 David Hachme St. .

Tel Aviv: 100 Years Young Built on the sandy shores of the Mediterranean, to the north of the ancient port of Jaffa, Tel Aviv is celebrating its 100th anniversary as Israel’s first modern Jewish city.

Jerusalem may symbolize the dreams and fulfillment of a Jewish homeland, but it’s Tel Aviv that captures the hearts of contemporary Israelis.

Tel Aviv is secular, brash, open-minded, diverse and sophisticated. It is the commercial, cultural and culinary capital of the nation. Unfortunately, Tel Aviv is often little more than a jumping-off point for Jewish and Christian visitors to begin their pilgrimages to the Holy Land’s biblical and archeological treasures. This is a serious mistake for any traveler who is interested in discovering the dynamic realities of Israeli life today.

The city combines the ambiance and amenities of a major cosmopolitan city with the pleasures of an international seaside resort. You easily can fill your days and nights with fun and excitement for a week or a lifetime in the hedonistic world of Tel Aviv. Forget about renting a car in Tel Aviv. It’s useless the roads are crowded and there is no place to park. Buses and taxis are numerous and economical.

Not to Be Missed Jaffa, the ancient port city jutting into the Mediterranean, has preserved its authentic Middle Eastern character while it undergoes a renaissance as a distinctive Tel Aviv neighborhood. Wander through the narrow alleyways of its Artists’ Quarter and the Flea Market with 200 shops and stalls. Several excellent restaurants specializing in grilled fish and seafood overlook the harbor.

Shuk Ha’Carmel, at the intersection of Allenby and Sheinkin streets, provides a glimpse of Tel Aviv’s distinctly Middle Eastern past. The famed outdoor market is filled with hundreds of vendors, hawking everything from fresh produce, poultry exotic flowers to clothing, CDs and costume jewelry. You’ll find dozens of food stands and restaurants here or on the many side streets.

Tel Aviv Port (Namal), once a thriving port facility, had languished for almost 30 years its recent rebirth as a major mixed-use retail

and leisure complex. Today it is one of the city’s most popular attractions, with outdoor cafes, fine restaurants, nightclubs and chic boutiques in former warehouse spaces facing the sea.

The beach scene is the most popular summer pastime for residents and visitors alike.

Stretching the entire length of the city, the white sandy beaches are sprinkled with sun worshippers, beach bars and cafes and sports enthusiasts windsurfing, boating, sailing and swimming. Hypnotic music and Frisbees fill the air, and beautiful people are everywhere.

Rothschild Boulevard is the most beautiful and revered street in the city. The treelined avenue features early 20th century “eclectic style” and Bauhaus architecture.

Adding to the city’s distinctive European charm are luxurious restaurants and cafes and numerous summer exhibits and musical events Visual and performing arts are an integral part of Tel Aviv’s cultural landscape. My personal favorites include the Tel Aviv Museum of Art, with its impressive permanent collection of contemporary Israeli art; Beit Hatefutsoth, recently renamed the Museum of the Jewish People, on the Tel Aviv University campus; Herzliya Museum of Contemporary Art, featuring installation art and digital media; and the Helena Rubenstein Pavilion for Contemporary Art, noted for cutting edge contemporary art, class artifacts and international exhibits.

The gallery scene is prolific, with daily openings. Many of the most prestigious ones can be found on Gordon, Dizengoff, Frishman and Ben Yehuda streets. Tel Aviv is home to world-class performing arts companies such as Batsheva Dance Company, Habima National Theatre, the Cameri Theatre and the Israeli Philharmonic Orchestra.

Shopping centers can be found in such popular malls as Dizengoff Center and the Arena Mall at the Herzliya Marina. But most Tel Avivians prefer the specialty shops sprinkled through such landmarks as Sheinkin, Dizengoff, Ben Yehuda, Allenby, Shabazi and King George streets. Here is where you’ll find an eclectic mix of Israeli designer fashions, exotic foods and beverages and sports shops.

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DEEP INSIDE HOLLYWOOD

by Romeo San Vicente : www.slackerwood.com

rodriguez-michelle.info

www.shamelessmag.com

MO’NIQUE, MARIAH TEAM UP TO PUSH

HUMPDAY: ZAK AND ZAK MAKE A PORNO

MORE MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ THAN EVER

MARGARET CHO MEETS A DROP DEAD DIVA

One of the big hits of the 2009 Sundance Film Festival resulted from a collaboration between gay director Lee Daniels (Shadowboxer) and lesbian novelist Sapphire (American Dreams).

Push: Based on the novel by Sapphire - that’s what they were calling it at Sundance, probably to distinguish it from that other Push, about a mutant Dakota Fanning - tells the moving story of overweight, illiterate, sexually abused teenager Precious Jones (Gabourey Sidibe) whose life is changed thanks to the guidance of a lesbian teacher. Daniels has assembled an exceedingly eclectic African-American cast for this drama, including comic Mo’Nique (as Precious’s toxic mother), Paula Patton, Sherri Shepherd, Mariah Carey, and Lenny Kravitz. At press time, Push was garnering lots of attention from distributors, so look for it to make its way to theaters before the end of the year.

Joshua Leonard was the toast of Sundance 10 years ago when he was one of the three stars of The Blair Witch Project; in 2009, he’s found himself the center of attention once again as the colead of Humpday, from “mumblecore” filmmaker Lynn Shelton (Baghead). Leonard and Mark Duplass star as old college buddies reunited a decade after graduation. One became a bohemian drifter while the other one settled down and got married; meeting again reignites their competitive one-upmanship, until they finally dare each other to make an amateur porn movie. Together. With each other. This look at straight guys taking the buddy-movie genre not to mention the trendy dare-game of “gay chicken” - to its logical conclusion has garnered massive critical buzz, so chances are good that you’ll find out whether the characters in Humpday actually got their hump on.

Tough girl sex symbol, lesbian fave, and possible exgirlfriend of the now-married Kristanna Loken, actor Michelle Rodriguez may have gotten voted off Lost‘s island, but the Girlfight-er maintains a full dance card. In addition to her work in the upcoming Fast & Furious sequel, Rodriguez plays a different kind of warrior in Tropico de Sangre, where she stars as real-life Dominican heroine Minerva Mirabal. Mirabal and her sisters stood up to dictator Rafael Trujillo and were executed in 1960 for their efforts to take down his corrupt government. You can also look for Rodriguez in the much-anticipated Avatar, director James Cameron’s first narrative feature film since his smash success Titanic in 1997. The CGIheavy sci-fi adventure pits a band of humans against an alien race on a distant planet, and will co-star even more tough-gal actresses, including Sigourney Weaver, Zoe Saldana, and CCH Pounder.

Both films are slated to hit screens this year.

Polymorphously perverse comedy goddess Margaret Cho used to do a stand-up routine based on her experiences of having her own sitcom and being told that she was too fat to be on television, so she must be enjoying the irony of being cast on Drop Dead Diva, a new Lifetime show from gay executive producers Craig Zadan and Neil Meron. The series revolves around a shallow model wannabe who dies in an accident only to find her soul returning in the form of a brilliant, plus-size attorney. Of course, “plus-size” in Hollywood often translates to “Miss Zellweger has taken to eating one donut per day,” but it will be interesting to see how far actress Brooke Elliott (Broadway’s The Pirate Queen) takes the concept as she plays the lead role. Diva premieres on the network for women (and gay men) this summer.

Romeo San Vicente’s personal diva is whichever woman (or womanly man) wants to buy him lunch. He can be reached care of this publication or at DeepInsideHollywood@qsyndicate.com.

ARTS by Matthew Arnold Columbus Gay Men’s Chorus Valentine’s Concert Highlights Favorite Love Songs The Columbus Gay Men’s Chorus continues its 19th season with its fourth annual Vox concert, Obsessed. All are invited to join Vox - a small ensemble of the Columbus Gay Men’s Chorus - at this Friday the 13th concert for a fun and eerie performance. (Saturday’s show is sold out.)

“Vox is a dynamic ensemble within the chorus that represents our organization all over Central Ohio. We’re excited to showcase this group within its own concert setting. The audience will love the intimacy of the theater and performances,” said Matthew Arnold, executive director of the Columbus Gay Men’s Chorus (CGMC).

Vox will perform its own concert for the fourth year in a row, and for the second year at the Van Fleet Theatre at the Columbus Performing Arts Center. The venue, seating only 200 audience members, will provide a unique setting for this production.

“The Vox concert is always relaxed and fun.

You can tell that the guys are having a great time singing, and they always sound wonderful, too!” says Phil Martin, former CGMC member and Vox concert audience member.

Audience members will enjoy a wide collection of fun and slightly creepy songs, such as “Can’t Get You Out of My Head,” “Every Breath You FEB 11 - FEB 17 2009

Take,” “From This Moment On,” and “All By Myself,” among others. Join Vox as they share a wacky and heartfelt evening dedicated to the many aspects of love.

You can get Obsessed at the Van Fleet Theatre on Friday, February 13. Tickets are $20 and are available at www.cgmc.com and 614.228.CGMC. Formed in 1990, the Columbus Gay Men’s Chorus maintains the vision of its founding members to foster increased recognition, understanding, and acceptance of gay men, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgender persons. CGMC is a non-auditioned chorus open to all people regardless of vocal talent, musical abilities, race, gender, religion, age, physical abilities, sexual orientation or economic means. The members of CGMC are equally dedicated to performing vocal music of the highest quality for its audiences and to maintaining an atmosphere of camaraderie, support and respect for its diverse members. During each performance and public appearance, they seek to live their mission of “Voices Raised, Lives Changed.”

Matthew Arnold is Executive Director for CGMC, a member organization of the Columbus Arts Marketing Association. For more information, visit www.camaonline.org.

Columbus Gay Men’s Chorus Upcoming Shows JOSEPH AND THE AMAZING TECHNICOLOR DREAMCOAT WITH THE COLUMBUS CHILDREN’S CHOIR Go, go, go Joseph! This is one show you simply cannot miss! The Columbus Gay Men’s Chorus and the Columbus Children’s Choir will team up for the first time ever to present one of the most popular musicals of all time - Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. This amazing collaboration will bring you to your feet as we celebrate the diversity of Columbus’s arts community at three performances, including a Saturday matinee. Tickets are certain to go quickly, so buy yours today! Joseph runs March 20 at 8p, March 21 at 2p and 8p. Capitol Theatre at the Vern Riffe Center.

WE LOVE THE 80s Punk rock hair, legwarmers, neon-colored tights. Michael Jackson, Madonna, Prince.

The Cosby Show, Cheers, The Facts of Life.

Reagan, communism, AIDS. Relive the ’80s with CGMC in this one-of-a-kind spectacular! Did video really kill the radio star? Will parachute pants ever come back in style?

Will any of these questions be answered at our show? Probably not, but you will undoubtedly enjoy a night of ’80s entertainment and memories galore! 80s runs June 26 and 27, 8p. Capitol Theatre at the Vern Riffe Center.

OUTLOOK WEEKLY •

LETTERS

25

continued from pg 4

and where” of the big day. The topic of what religious leader would hold the prominent prayer position came up and someone suggested “Mr. Warren.” Now, I would like to believe, considering you tend to surround yourself with incredibly intelligent people that someone in the room had to say that the Warren selection would upset the gay community, along with the liberal side of our party. I’m assuming you and the committee chewed on that for a while and then decided one of two things: 1. Considering the current political climate, the gay community would be upset, but really wouldn’t be able to do anything, except express their outrage, because … well, it’s not like they have a choice of a different party to give their support to.

2. There was more to be gained from appealing to Christian conservatives. Gay voters were expendable in this equation.

By deciding to go ahead with the selection of Rick Warren, you, President Obama, sent a loud and clear message about how expendable my family is to you and your administration. I often find it interesting that in politics, there comes a time when sacrifice must be made. Without asking the permission of the gay community, you decided to sacrifice us and the families that support us.

I would have had more respect for you if you would have selected a KKK-supporting minister, so that along with him hating my family, he would also hate yours. I noticed you also didn’t select an anti-Israel preacher, probably because the last thing you would want to do is anger the Jewish community. So please explain to me why an anti-gay marriage pastor (and please spare me Mr. Warren’s quote about having numerous gay friends who have invited him over for dinner. That ridiculous and tired argument has been used for years by bigots trying to hide the fact that the racist joke they just told or the racist comment they are about to say is by no way proof that they are in fact a racist. “Some of my best friends are black…”) would be acceptable. Is whatever small amount of clout you would get from the same people who haven’t supported you, won’t support you and will most probably fight you every step of the way worth loosing the faith of your gay supporters. Do we matter so little to you?

I have reviewed your website and I have to write that I was impressed with the long list of same-sex initiatives that you support or have supported. I believe that by stating this on your website is a good step and “on cyber-paper” you most probably seem to be the most gay-friendly President to date.

Unfortunately, good intentions aren’t going to get my family the protection and rights that they need.

The First Amendment secured the rights of Americans to worship they way that they choose and drew a line with our government establishing an “official” religion. I am sure all Americans can agree with this loose interpretation of Amendment I. However, your statement and also the statement of Hillary Clinton during that debate, goes against what the first amendment protects. By agreeing that marriage should be defined by the union of a man and a woman and denying any expansion of that definition by a religious organization to include same-sex partners, you are taking a particular sector’s religious doctrine and implementing it into American policy. You are accepting the opinion of numerous religious organizations and supporting their definitions, allowing them to become law, without considering that their doctrine might go against other religious organization’s doctrine.

I’m assuming that you might not have considered this, but by doing so, you are denying other churches and temples the right to exercise their religious and legal right to perform marriage ceremonies for same-sex couples. There are numerous religions that not only welcome Gay members into their congregation, but would also like to perform marriage ceremonies for them also. However, by defining marriage to be between a man and a women and bestowing to religious organizations the legal power to make the union official, you are telling a religious organization who they can and cannot marry. What is to

be next? Will these religious organizations state that a marriage is not official unless the name and blessing of a particular deity?

It seems hypocritical on many levels to have the state bestowing a legal power on a religious organization (“by the power invested in me by the state of….”) but stipulating how the religious organizations should practice their religions in regards to this religious act of faith and love. It would appear that this country is allowing this limitation of religious freedom on the state level, yet on all accounts should not be restricting it, as dictated by the United States Constitution. It must be made clear as to whether or not marriage is a legal or religious act. It cannot be both. If it is religious, then the state and federal government should have no place in creating laws stating what is a true marriage. If it is a legal act, then the church has no place implementing its opinion into official policy and law.

Setting aside the hurt feelings about how your administration has showcased an utter disregard for the gay population that supported you, I feel it is my duty to remind you of your sworn oath of office to protect the United States Constitution.

It should be done in complete disregard of public opinion, both religious and secular. It should be done with complete disregard as to whether or not you will gain political favor with the American people. Do you think for one second that it was popular for the court system to overturn segregation back in the 1950s? Do you think that American people were consulted as to whether or not they would agree to an end of segregation? At what point do we once again force the American people to do the right thing?

More importantly you propose through civil unions a separate but equal system. I find this incredibly interesting; especially from an American president of African American and Caucasian decent that you would even entertain this proposition. Not only do you wish to enforce a particular sector’s religious views into American policy, but now you propose something that was not acceptable for African American citizens. Not too long ago, the same religious sector argued that white purity needed to be protected, claiming proof from the Bible, which stated not to mix the yokes. Yet amazingly enough, you embrace the same level of bigotry, expecting gay Americans to happily accept the same hatred that was not acceptable for others. This is the complete and utter height of hypocrisy!

President Obama, I respectfully request that you carefully consider what I have written and understand my commitment to you is unwavering.

I will continue this letter writing campaign to you, until equal, not separate but equal, but equal rights have been restored to gay Americans. To serve as a reminder of your oath to protect the constitution, thereby restoring the rights of all gay Americans, I am enclosing with this letter the bumper sticker and window sign I proudly displayed in support of your candidacy. Please return them when the equality dreams that I and other gay Americans hold dear become a reality.

A very famous woman in British society during the 1700s, Lady Georgiana Spencer (The Duchess of Devonshire) once stated that the concept of freedom is absolute. It is either distributed to all citizens or it doesn’t truly exist. I am sure you might think you have other pressing issues to address first, but I believe nothing to be more pressing than freedom for all.

Will you be the one to restore freedom in America or will we continue down the same false road, waiting for someone to lift us to our true position in the world. This position is a beacon of freedom for all and a true example of a successful democracy.

Do what is right, no matter the political cost.

Vasilios C. Birlidis Columbus

FEB 11 - FEB 17 2009

26 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

FILM

INTERVIEW

by Adam Lippe

by Trevor Cleaminette

Zach and Miri Make a Porno

Raphael Solomon: Don’t Hate Him Because He’s Beautiful Raphael Solomon knows about life, love and the pursuit of happiness. At 28, he’s struggled with all of it. Most of the tracks on his debut album, Beautiful Dancer, are about heartbreak, loneliness and failing to pay the rent - which proves that even pretty people hurt.

Still, all the gloom and doom of life doesn’t mean Raphael is without a sense of humor. The former modelturned-singer knows how to pick himself up, dust off, and have a little fun.

Like the night he became the king of more than a few people’s jungles.

“I once went onstage dressed as Tarzan and my loincloth came undone,” he recalls with a laugh. “It was embarrassing but you know what they say: the show had to go on.”

Raphael Solomon’s Beautiful Dancer hits i-Tunes this week. We chatted with him via phone from his home in the UK. Trevor Cleaminette: Beautiful Dancer sounds like it was a labor of love.

Raphael Solomon: Yeah, without sounding dramatic, it’s been a tough couple of years in the love department for me, so recording this album was my way of making something positive and productive out of a situation that was not necessarily so.

TC: You financed the album on your own and admit that, at times, you struggled financially.

RS: At least I can say that I did it the good, old fashioned, hard and honest FEB 11 - FEB 17 2009

way. Struggling is never fun, but I’ve learned it’s important to make sacrifices when you believe in something as much as I believed in this record.

TC: Were you ever forced to do anything you were ashamed of in order to make ends meet?

RS: I’d never do anything that I’d be ashamed of owning up to. I have a strong sense of self.

TC: Was there anything you wouldn’t do, even if meant giving up your dream?

RS: I wouldn’t compromise my integrity.

What’s the point of having your dream come true if you can’t look at yourself in the mirror?

TC: How do you maintain your great body?

RS: I work out five times a week. I do a combination of weight training and cardio each session. I’m naturally a big guy so building muscle for me is easy, but I do have to watch my carbs. I’m not allowed my favorite food, pizza, more than once a week.

TC: Where did you find the money for your gym membership?

RS: [Laughs] You always find money for the gym!

TC: What’s your favorite song on the album?

RS: I can’t say I have a favorite but the

song that holds the most amazing memories for me is “Beautiful Dancer.”

I wrote it in New York last year when I thought I had found “the one.” The song that was the most enjoyable to record was “Baby’s Gone 2 Rio.” TC: We love the track “Sex With Your Ex.” What advice would you give to guys thinking about shacking up with their former love?

RS: Why not? If you love someone, put up a fight for them. I did! Sometimes that’s what we need to bring closure.

TC: What are you most attracted to in a person?

RS: I like people who are comfortable in their own skin, who take pride in their appearance and work out and lead a healthy lifestyle. Also, someone with a sense of purpose and a positive outlook on life.

TC: What do you think are your most attractive features?

RS: I like my mind, my heart and my faith in life.

TC: At the end of the day, what do you hope fans take away from your music?

RS: I hope they like my sound and that it offers a chance to escape the hard times for a bit. Even at its worst, life is beautiful.

Raphael Solomon’s Beautiful Dancer is available on i-Tunes.

The downside of Judd Apatow’s current popularity is that other filmmakers try to mix their own formula with his. A common theme running through Apatow’s work is his characters’ dealing with their own gay panic as they mature from adult boys to adult men. This is exemplified by a scene between Seth Rogen and Paul Rudd in The 40 Year Old Virgin, where they play video games and taunt each other with lines like “You know how I know that you’re gay? Because you macraméd yourself a pair of jean shorts.” There’s even an extra on the DVD that shows that this improvised scene went on for more than 10 minutes as they came up with new reasons why the other person was gay. This continued between Rudd and Rogen in Knocked Up, where Rudd tells him “you look like Babe Ruth’s gay brother.

Gabe Ruth.”

Now whether you think this is a homophobic way to deal with immaturity in a mainstream film is entirely up to you, but there’s no doubt that in Zach and Miri Make a Porno, just out on DVD, writer/director Kevin Smith’s attempt to mesh his dick and fart joke motifs with Apatow’s maturity bent (even casting Seth Rogen as the lead), that Smith’s cast is uncomfortable with the gay issue. This is proven with Justin Long’s ridiculous overplaying as a gay porn star trying to comfort and ease his boyfriend out of the closet. “I’ll be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness,” he says with a gravelly lisp. Now that line reads a lot funnier than it plays, which is all too common a problem in Smith’s work (Chasing Amy, Clerks, Dogma), as actors struggle mightily to overcome the wordiness that is totally unnatural to their characters. But the surprise is the emotional dishonesty and discomfort with the material he’s written, especially as Chasing Amy is a smart exploration of gay relationships and the complications of romance.

This may be because Smith is a moralist at heart, and making a movie about the joys and financial success of two working class best friends making a porn film to pay their bills doesn’t jibe with his moral compass. And yet, all of this could be ignored if the movie were funny. For some reason, Smith constantly resorts to Mel Brooks style nudge-nudge jokes and even sabotages professional scene stealer Craig Robinson (the bouncer in Knocked Up and the hitman dealing with his partner’s weaknesses in Pineapple Express) by introducing him with tired race baiting lines (“You gonna make a black man work Black Friday?”) and letting his character drift off into being solely used as a deus ex machina.

Maybe Smith was bored? Sure, the plot trajectory is quite obvious as Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks (who is awfully toned for someone who’s supposed to be lazy and unmotivated) are clearly headed for a happy romance, and we have to wait out 100 minutes for this to develop, as if it were in any way a surprise. But watching Smith’s version of porn, in which everyone is chummy and comfortable with each other (despite none of them being actual porn actors before this experience), and the technical complications are missing, and clichéd ’70s porn music is played on a boombox, while the camera is rolling and the actors are fornicating, is more than embarrassing, it is simply amazing. Smith’s humor has completely devolved into his self-satisfaction regarding the shock value in his script, as the characters constantly curse unnaturally, as if to offend us, as if someone willing to watch a movie with this title would act like a little boy in church any time someone says “fuck.” Of course, Smith is a little boy in church; maybe his hangers-on ought to let him know.

Incidentally, on one of his older DVD commentaries (I believe it was Dogma), Smith mentions that the reason he can’t always get larger budgets is because his movies tend to hit a brick wall at the box office once they gross $30 million. Zach and Miri grossed $31 million.

Adam Lippe is a regular contributor to Outlook Weekly. You can read more of Adam’s reviews at RegrettableSincerity.com

OUTLOOK WEEKLY •

27

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FEB 11 - FEB 17 2009

28 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

SEX TALK

by Simon Sheppard

www.badpuppy.com

TOUGH STRAIGHTS That hard-as-nails, ostensibly straight, definitely disreputable thug with a heart of tin? He’s commonly known as “rough trade.” Want him?

Well, plenty of gay guys do. Says one, “I know it’s stupid, but I get horny for men who’d be more likely to rob me than kiss me.”

At his most archetypal, Mr. Rough Trade is a macho, lower-class hustler who’s willing to fuck you and happy to be sucked, as long as the price is right. Dangerous dick? You bet. Many men have been roughed up or even killed by roughtrade tricks. But that peril can be part of the scene’s appeal. Explains one observer of gay culture, “Servicing tough hets can be edgy and exciting, the proverbial walk on the wild side. For a submissive bottom, giving one’s ass to rough trade - especially if he’s paying for the privilege represents hard-core self-abasement. And, less appealingly, going after tough-guy straights can reflect internalized homophobia, the idea that gays aren’t ‘real men’ or that we queer men should suffer for our desires.”

It might well be that the lure of rough trade is no longer as widespread as it once was. Continues our observer, “Before gay liberation hit, plenty of men, often closeted and without much self-respect, went out cruising … both for dick and for a possible bruising. I really think that fewer queer guys are into that now. “ These days, if it’s “masculine” you’re after, there are plenty of macho, muscled men out there who are openly gay. And masochistic fellows have many more safe outlets now; the increasing visibility of sadomasochism and related kink makes it pretty easy to enact dominance-and-submission rituals in negotiated, safe scenes. Still, the shaft-stimulating appeal of real rough trade remains a lure for many gay dudes. As one self-described submissive bottom explains, “When I do nasty role-playing, I enjoy it, but I still know it’s basically fake. In my twisted heart of hearts, I want a genuine tough guy, not someone who’s just pretending to be.”

Part of the appeal of a hunky het hustler is that he’s emotionally uninvolved, thereby keeping messy attachments to a minimum. There may be a question of how straight he really is, but business is business, and blowing rough trade is something a guy can walk away from.

FEB 11 - FEB 17 2009

It’s pure sex without the trimmings, a cut-anddried matter of cash, not cuddling. And there’s no question of who’s the sexual top in the arrangement.

Still, paying for sex is a double-edged sword; it may be a sign of desperation, but it also gives a client power … as long as the scene remains under control. A wealthy john might grovel before a working-class lad whose muscles come from hauling freight, not pumping iron. But at the same time, the rich guy is buying the brute like he’s a prime piece of meat. That butch bruiser may be theoretically off-limits, but in reality, he can be had for a few bucks.

Not every rough-trade encounter sees cash change hands. As one man in his early 30s says, “I don’t have much of an education, and I was even in prison for a while. I guess I’m kind of bisexual. So sure, I like to get sucked by a well-off man with a nice apartment. But that doesn’t mean I’m a prostitute. Still, if a gay guy wants to buy me a drink …”

Even if you’re brave - or perhaps foolhardy enough to consort with real rough trade, there are things you can do to lower your risks. Let a close confidant know what you’re up to. Hide your wallet and credit cards. Carefully gauge the guy you playing with. Don’t get cute; it’s no time to question a hustler’s sexual identity or discuss gender roles. And stay sober, and hope your tough guy’s sober, too. Says one fancier of rough trade, “If a guy seems tweaked, all jumpy and sweaty, he doesn’t get past my door. Even so, I once hired a hustler who, I’m embarrassed to say, stole some of my stuff.”

As with barebacking, drug use during sex, and other venereal vices, consorting with maybe-dangerous dudes is always going to have a perverse appeal to some - perhaps many - men. Sex is, after all, an animalistic enterprise, and there are those who love to run with the beasts. The trick is to keep tricking with hardguy hets from getting out of hand. Stay safe … or at least safe-ish.

Simon Sheppard is the editor of Leathermen and Homosex: Sixty Years of Gay Erotica, and the author of Sex Parties 101, Kinkorama, and In Deep: Erotic Stories, and can be reached at SexTalk@qsyndicate.com. Visit Simon at www.simonsheppard.com.

OUTLOOK WEEKLY •

29

SAVAGE LOVE

by Dan Savage

My girlfriend and I are into male-orgasm denial. We’ve recently tried putting Orajel on my cock and then covering it with two condoms so she can use me as a dildo without me getting off or even feeling anything. It works great. Is there any chance of longterm health issues if we do this once a week or so?

Numb-Dicked Dude You didn’t say which kind of Orajel you are using, but I hope it’s not Orajel Advanced Tooth Desensitizer. Its active ingredient - created to treat sensitive teeth, not desensitize cock - is something called “2-hydroxyethyl methacrylate,” which sounds like something you might find in baby formula that was made in China.

The stuff works, according to Orajel’s website, “by blocking dentinal tubules, preventing excitation of the tooth nerve.” And, hey, if it’s safe enough for your mouth, it’s probably safe enough for your cock and for newborns, right?

Well, maybe not. A very quick search of the interwebs using that Googlemajob turns up a paper in the Journal of Dental Research with this rather alarming title: “2-Hydroxyethyl Methacrylate (HEMA) Is a Potent Inducer of Apoptotic Cell Death in Human and Mouse Cells.”

Any responsible sex-advice professional would read the paper in its entirety and inform you about the likelihood that you’re killing off cock cells when you smear them with Orajel Advanced Tooth Desensitizer. But I’m an alarmist sex-advice professional, not a responsible one, so I’m just going to lay that title on you one more time: “2-Hydroxyethyl Methacrylate (HEMA) Is a Potent Inducer of Apoptotic Cell Death in Human and Mouse Cells.” I don’t know about you, NDD, but I’ve always erred on the side of not smearing my dick with shit that kills mice. (Not all brands of Orajel contain this ingredient, but a boy can’t be too careful.)

It seems particularly foolish to smear any

kind of Orajel on your cock when there are products on the market specifically designed for desensitizing cocks, things like Mandelay gel and Proloonging’s “penis desensitizing aid delay spray.” These products are marketed to men who suffer from premature ejaculation, even though numbing the dick doesn’t really cure premature ejaculation. They sound perfect for you and your orgasm-denying girlfriend, though, and I’d recommend ’em over that potential rat poison you’re using now.

I’m a gay guy, 25, in great shape, no STDs. To make me happy, any long-term relationship will need to have a strong BDSM element to it. And I’m having a lot of trouble finding a BDSM relationship that makes me happy. If I mention my BDSM needs up front when I meet a guy, I get the “never done it, never will” response or the “ew, gross” response. When I date a guy before I mention it, the guy is usually willing to try it (even difficult stuff like CBT and e-stim), but it’s always because he likes me and wants to get me off. So while I’m feeling the pain, I’m not feeling dominated.

And when I try to find guys specifically into BDSM (leather bars, fetish websites), I only find physically unattractive guys.

I know I’m not the only young, attractive gay guy in Chicago into restraints and pain.

But how do I find the others?

Finding Extremely Deficient Erotic Xcitement Go to dudesnude.com, FEDEX, and search for profiles featuring guys who included “S&M” among their interests. You’ll find tons of guys under 30, many of them very good-looking, and lots in Chicago. So keep looking, FEDEX. Very few gay guys your age, kinky or not, have managed to find a person they can see entering an LTR with … so no more whining, mmmkay?

Continue to search online and in leather bars, continue to be honest with the guys you date,

and sooner or later you’ll meet someone who’s as anxious to introduce you to his parents as he is to torture your cock and balls.

I’m a 27-year-old bi girl with a lovely fiancée. I’m a top; she’s a sub. I’m trying to be responsible, so this weekend I sat down and wrote my will. I hope I won’t need it anytime soon, but it makes me feel better to know friends and family will get what I want them to have before the IRS can take the rest. You have to specify each item and its recipient, and that’s where I ran into trouble. I want to leave my fiancée’s collar to her, rather than Uncle Sam, but wasn’t sure how specific I could be without either of us being prosecuted for practicing S&M, which is illegal under current laws in the state where I live.

So I can’t say, “I’m leaving the S&M collar to my fiancée.” We don’t have a dog and aren’t going to get one, so writing “leather collar” looks strange and makes me nervous. Do you have any advice?

Needs A Good Lawyer Most people into S&M have a touch of the drama queen about them, I realize, but let’s not be ridiculous. If you should precede your sub in death, NAGL, I promise you that Uncle Sam is not going to take possession of your widow’s dog collar. But to set your mind at ease, I called a very good lawyer and annoyed him with your very stupid question: “No, no, no, no. A gift from one person to another is not illegal - that’s the bottom-line answer,” said D. J. Rausa, a very good lawyer in private practice in California who I found via the “Kink-Aware Professionals” listings at the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom. “The government is not going to be interested in a gift, in any gift, unless they can tax it.” And unless that dog collar is solid gold and the word “slave” is spelled out on it with big fat diamonds, NAGL, the IRS doesn’t give a shit.

And since you don’t file a will with the state, but with your lawyer, the odds of being prosecuted for engaging in S&M - already infinitesimal - are nil. Worry about the fact that you can’t legally marry your fiancée, NAGL, and not about Uncle Sam swooping in and stealing your sex toys.

RealTouch, the new sex toy for men that you wrote about recently, is a porn-marketing device, not a sex toy. Note that it says on their website that the first “30 minutes [are] free” (translation: You’ll have to pay the rest of the time) and that the FAQ says explicitly that it cannot be used by itself.

It’s a scam, IMO. Not Buying One “RealTouch is only activated by the … movies in our video-on-demand library,” says Jim McAnally (a pseudonym, I’m thinkin’) at RealTouch HQ. A per-minute price has not been established, as the toy is not yet being sold - a detail I would’ve included last week, had I known - but “the device [will be] activated with 30 minutes when it is purchased.”

So you’re right, NBO: RealTouch could be considered a porn-marketing device. I wouldn’t go so far as to call it a scam, and neither would Mr. McAnally: “The device is driven by a haptic data stream that we have to encode with a lot of detail,” he added. “To give you an idea, it takes eight hours to encode 15 minutes worth of content. And that data stream doesn’t exist outside of the video that has been encoded.”

Good to know. But many men will be disappointed to learn that they can only use this toy when they’re watching porn. Here’s hoping that RealTouch 2.0 has more functions.

Download the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage. mail@savagelove.net

FEB 11 - FEB 17 2009

30 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

ABOUT TOWN

12th Annual Drexel Red Carpet Bash to Celebrate the Academy Awards Ever dream of partying with the stars at the Academy Awards in Hollywood? Chances are you’ll never be invited, but you can come pretty close at the annual Oscar Party at the Drexel Theatre. The 12th Annual Drexel Red Carpet Bash will be held on Sunday, February 22 at the historic Drexel Theatre, 2254 E. Main St in Bexley. The event will celebrate the 81st Annual Academy Awards being held at the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood. The Drexel will roll out the ‘red carpet’ for a glamorous evening of fabulous food, movie contests, prizes and the entire Academy Awards telecast, from the arrival of the stars, to the handing out of the gold statues in Hi-Def on the theatres’ biggest screen. This year’s Academy Awards will be hosted by celebrated actor Hugh Jackman.

Billed as the biggest and best Oscar party in town, the Drexel Red Carpet Bash gives movie fans a chance to “walk the red carpet” in front of the theatre, where they’ll be greeted by “paparazzi” and fashion commentators before entering the theatre. Once inside, party-goers will have a chance to mingle with other movie fans while enjoying a complimentary Awards Hors D’eurvres buffet provided by some of the area’s finest restaurants including Guiseppe’s Retrovo, The Bexley Monk, The Rusty Bucket, Radio Café and Jeni’s Ice

Cream. The theatre will feature two cash bars serving Oscar-themed drinks and unique Oscar decorations will add to the glamour of the evening.

Again this year, the audience is invited to dress up as their favorite nominated star or movie, or in their best Hollywood attire, and enter the many costume contests held during commercial breaks. Prizes will also be given out to the Best Dressed and the Most Glamorous Couple. In addition, hundreds of special prizes donated by most of the major film studios will be given away in Oscar and movie trivia contests throughout the night. The person who correctly predicts the most awards in the annual You Pick The Winners Contest will receive the Grand Prize - a year’s worth of movies for two to the Drexel and a special studio “swag bag” of prizes.

The Drexel Theatre Red Carpet Bash is Sunday, February 22. The doors open at 6p and the awards ceremony starts at 8p. Tickets are $20 in advance and $25 day-of-show and are on sale at the theatre, online at www.drexel.net or by calling the 614.231.1050. The event is made possible by the generous support of The Other Paper, Outlook Weekly, CD-101 FM Radio, Hotcards Columbus and Mills James Productions.

Wexner Center: A Home for Losers Self-described former nerds, freaks, and outsiders who turned to skate board- and graffitiinspired art, the Beautiful Losers profiled in this high-energy group portrait are now among the art world’s hippest participants.

Many of them are featured in the traveling exhibition Beautiful Losers: Contemporary Art and Street Culture and are former denizens of the Lower East Side’s Alleged Gallery. The artists include Barry McGee, Chris Johanson, the late Margaret Kilgallen, Harmony Korine, Ed Templeton, and Shepard Fairey (who sprang into mainstream view last fall with his icon-making Barack Obama posters).

Director Aaron Rose, founder of Alleged Gallery, draws from his own vast archive to celebrate the artists he believes in. As Artforum notes, “cultural history has a way of re-

fusing convenient linearity; perhaps only attitude abides, and Beautiful Losers has that in spades.”

Beautiful Losers shows at the Wexner Center Film/Video Theater on Thu, Feb 12 & Fri, Feb 13 @ 7p. Tickets are $5 for members, students, and seniors, and $7 for the general public. Tix are available at 614.292.3535 or www.wexarts.org.

Miss Gypsy USA Pageant Benefits Pater Noster House Southbend Tavern continues its tradition of raising funds for Pater Noster House with the Miss Gypsy USA pageant.

Gypsies, tramps, and thieves - and some fabulous queens - will light up the night for a worthy cause on Saturday, Feb 21.

Contestants register at 3p; the show starts at 9p. Come out and help crown Miss Gypsy USA! For more info on the pageant, call 614.444.3386.

NEHST Studios Hosts Columbus Premiere of Running the Sahara Running the Sahara follows three ultramarathoners on their 111-day, 4,300-mile attempt to run across Africa’s Sahara Desert. A special one-night screening of this feature documentary will be held at the Arena Grand Movie Theatre on Thursday, February 19 at 7p.

NEHST Studios is hosting premiere in-theater screenings in select cities. Tickets to the Columbus event include a pre-show reception and gift bag for filmgoers, admission to the film, and a live Q&A with runner Charlie Engle following the show.

Running the Sahara is narrated and executive produced by Academy Award winner Matt Damon and directed by Academy Award winner James Moll. Grammy winner Wyclef Jean contributed the song “Show Me the Way Home” to the film. The film delivers a message of hope and puts everyday challenges in perspective. The documentary also calls attention

to the clean water crisis in Africa.

Running the Sahara inspired Matt Damon and the producers of the film to create H2O Africa, a foundation formed to address the need for safe water in Africa that has raised over four million dollars for safe water programs in the Sahara.

“I am proud to be part of such an amazing project,” says Wyclef Jean. “I’ve seen suffering in the developing world first-hand and hope people not only enjoy the movie, but find ways that they can help those most in need.”

The film shows at the Arena Grand Movie Theatre on Thursday, Feb 19, 7p. Tickets are $35 and can be reserved at www.nehst.com.

COLUMBUS NEXT MEETING: MAR 11, 6P-8P; LOCATION: SHERMAN OAK CONDOS (143 SHERMAN AVE, OLD TOWNE EAST); COLUMBUS COMPACT EVENT • WWW.NETWORKCOLUMBUS.COM

FEB 11 - FEB 17 2009

OUTLOOK WEEKLY •

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THE LAST WORD

by Jennifer Vanasco

Female Desire Female desire is complicated.

Lesbians know this. We know it because of “lesbian bed death” - that pervasive phenomenon that makes long-term couples sink into acting like roommates instead of lovers.

And we know it because all of us have friends who have come out late in life, or who have gone back to men after being lesbians forever, or who say that they’re “attracted to a person, not to a gender.”

Now we have research that - well, if it doesn’t quite explain what’s going on, at least confirms our intuition that female desire is messier and perhaps more expansive than men’s.

Men, say researchers, are easy. A New York Times story on female desire looks at the studies of Meredith Chivers at Queen’s University in Ontario.

When gay men are shown film of gay sex or a man masturbating, they get aroused. And they know they are. With straight men, it’s similar show them film of heterosexual sex or female masturbation, and they get excited and know it.

But women are different. Show women film of heterosexual sex, gay male sex, lesbian sex, or monkey sex (really) and women, lesbian or

straight, get hot.

What is interesting, however, is that even though their bodies are responsive, women don’t always know they are feeling desire - so, a woman who calls herself straight will say that she is only responding to the heterosexual sex videos, even though she is actually responding in the same degree to everything; and a lesbian will think that she is only responding to lesbian sex, even though she has the same degree of physical arousal when it comes to films of gay male sex or heterosexual sex.

Other researchers say that although men with the highest sex drives have a “more polarized attraction than most males” - meaning if they’re gay they’re really only attracted to men, with women, “the higher the drive, the greater the attraction to both sexes.” The article, though, adds the confusing caveat “this may not be so for lesbians.”

So - straight women are more likely to be bi if they’re more sexual, but lesbians are more likely to be lesbian?

Female desire is complicated indeed.

Researchers are divided over whether this male/female difference is due to biology, hor-

mones, culture, or a confluence of the three.

What they do know is that women feel desire in the mind, no matter what is happening in the body. Some women can think themselves into orgasm (lucky women!). Some women are more turned on by the idea of unfamiliarity, of sex with strangers (thus lesbian bed death); others find their desire dictated by intimacy and emotional connection (hence the women who are “heteroflexible”).

These things are independent of physical arousal, since physical arousal for women happens all the time.

“Fluidity is not a fluke,” sexologist Lisa Diamond told the Times. Of the women who told Diamond that they were lesbian, only one-third reported attraction solely to women. The other two-thirds felt genuine, periodic attraction to men.

This means that, if we were all honest in our labeling, the majority of women would need to call ourselves “bisexual” or “queer,” instead of “straight” or “gay,” as we do. The research says that there are far more women attracted to people of both sexes than there are women who are attracted to only one sex. If only one-third of les-

bians are completely women-centered when it comes to desire - and only two percent of the country is lesbian - then that is a tiny number, about 2 million.

Of course, being a lesbian is about more than desiring other women. It is also about a femalecentered culture, about consensus building, about emotional bonds with other women. That is what we mean, usually, when we talk about a lesbian “community” - and why lesbian communities often have such a different feel than gay male ones.

Yet despite all our focus on processing and intimacy, we need to remember that lesbians - and all women - also have an expansive sexuality. We underrate ourselves by focusing on “lesbian bed death” instead of all the ways we are sexual.

Thank goodness for the surge in queer burlesque shows, sexy lesbian club nights and the last season of The L Word, all of which remind us that lesbians are sexy, and sexy is fun.

Female desire is complicated; how we experience lust is complex. Here’s to more sex for women however we label ourselves.

Jennifer Vanasco is an award-winning syndicated columnist. Follow her on Twitter.com/JenniferVanasco and email her at jennifer.vanasco@gmail.com.

HOROSCOPES

by Jack Fertig

AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18): Still struggling with those shopaholic impulses? There is a 12-step program for that. Meditation may be a better answer. Exercise is also good.

Go swimming, running, hiking, or biking, but be very careful of traffic!

TAURUS (April 20 - May 20): Conflicts between your political ideals and your career goals may suddenly become obvious and very uncomfortable. Re-examine both, but this is the time for reflection, not action. Stick to your usual slow-and-careful mode. Blow off steam with friends, not at work!

LEO (July 23 - August 22): Sexual problems with your partner (or in the way you use sex to find one) are suddenly painfully apparent. You can work it out with some willingness to adapt.

Don’t lose track of your needs in your eagerness to satisfy your darling.

SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21): Artistic or playful self-expression can reveal family secrets you’ve long forgotten or overlooked. That revelation may not be comfortable, but facing it and getting past it can be very liberating.

PISCES (February 19 - March 19): Acting on sudden impulses is sure to get you into trouble. The inspirations sparking those disastrous urges can also be seeds of reflection. You may not be able to restrain yourself entirely, but at least try to think twice before acting.

GEMINI (May 21 - June 20): Nobody can be right all the time, but the best way to be right more often is to admit forthrightly when you’re wrong. Ideals and aesthetics are clouding your facts and logic. Skip the arguments and go to an art show!

VIRGO (August 23 - September 22): Inspired notions at work will run into opposition. Resist the temptation to argue, and see how your opponent’s critique can improve your inspiration.

None of it is likely to work anyway, but out of the wreckage can come better ideas later.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 20): Conversations with your family of origin, or trying to figure out community politics, can cause confusion. Arguments over “right” and “wrong” will only explode in your face.

Try an empathetic approach, and forget logic for now.

ARIES (March 20 - April 19): Your instincts and hunches are liable to get you into trouble, but if you discuss them with some friends you may find some valuable insights behind them.

Getting high with your pals can be fun, but do you want the buzz or the insights?

CANCER (June 21 - July 22): Your erotic dreams can come true, but will you be fully awake when they do?

Drugs and booze can open up too many bad possibilities right along with the delicious ones. Keep a clear head and prophylaxis handy, the better to enjoy the fun!

LIBRA (September 23 - October 22): Accidents are more likely now, especially sporting accidents, and that includes “bedroom sports.” Try to apply your creative energy in new directions, but still be careful with the glue gun and stapler!

CAPRICORN (December 21 - January 19): Everybody’s worried about money these days. Avoid useless fretting and look at the more constructive steps you can take. Any ideas you have now probably are crazy, but may lead to more sensible thoughts later.

Jack Fertig, a professional astrologer since 1977, is a founding member of the Association for Astrological Networking. He can be reached for consultations at 415.864.8302, www.starjack.com, and by e-mail at QScopes@qsyndicate.com.

FEB 11 - FEB 17 2009