03.04.09 Outlook Weekly - Out at Wex

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SSIC A L C OLD N R S• A W E N CLEVELAND FILM FEST • OUT BUSINESS

02 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY MAR 04 - MAR 10 2009

SNAPSHOT

BRAVO GUESS WHO'S COMING TO DINNER: BRAVO DID IT AGAIN, WITH ANOTHER SUCCESSFUL EVENING OF SURPRISE DINNERS AND SPECIAL GUESTS TO RAISE FUNDS FOR THE ORGANIZATION'S IMPORTANT WORK. GUESS WHO'S COMING TO DINNER 2009 WAS A SMASH, AND WE HOPE TO SEE YOU - AS A HOST OR A GUEST - NEXT YEAR. PHOTOS BY DON FACKLER

VOLUME 13 NUMBER 35

OWNERS AND PUBLISHERS Michael Daniels & Chris Hayes EDITOR-IN-CHIEF / ART DIRECTOR Chris Hayes hayes@outlookmedia.com ASSISTANT ART DIRECTOR / PHOTOS Robert Trautman traut@outlookmedia.com

QUEENS AT THE PULPIT?

THEY CLEAN UP WELL

TWO-FISTING

MIXED COMPANY

NOKA, IS THAT YOU?

LADIES NIGHT

MANAGING EDITOR Adam Leddy aleddy@outlookmedia.com CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Jacob Anderson-Minshall, Nancy Colvin, E Magazine, Jack Fertig, Janyce Katz, Tom Moon, Dan Savage, Jennifer Vanasco, Romeo San Vincente.

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MAR 04 - MAR 10 2009

BESPECTACLED BEAUTY

SNAPSHOT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .2 ABOUT TOWN . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .3,26 COMMENTARY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .4 COMMUNITY CORNER . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6 TRANSNATION . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .9 EXAMINED LIFE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .9 OUT BUSINESS NEWS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .11 EARTHTALK . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .12 FEATURE: OUT@WEX . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .14-18 DEEP INSIDE HOLLYWOOD . . . . . . . . . . . . . .20 ARTS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .20 GALLERY HOP . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .22 CLASSIFIEDS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .23 SAVAGE LOVE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .25 THE LAST WORD . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .27 SCOPES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .27 NEXT WEEK: GAY FOR PAY

ALL SMILES

PARTY BOYS

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 03

ABOUT TOWN WEDNESDAY, MARCH 4 THAT’S SO METRO Columbus Metropolitan Club Lunch Forum @ The Athletic Club of Columbus, 136 E Broad St, 614.464.3220, www.columbusmetroclub.org: “Alternative Energy Realities.” 12p-1:15p; $17-$35.

BRING YOUR BRAINS AND PIPES Trivia & Karaoke @ Score Bar, 145 N 5th St, 614.849.0099, scorebarcolumbus.com: Anything Goes Trivia with Sam and fabulous prizes at 7p, followed by karaoke with KJ Mark and a chance to win a trip to Ft Myers, FL. 7p; no cover.

THURSDAY, MARCH 5 HOT STUFF! Disco Inferno @ Martini Park, 3948 Easton Way, 614.471.3400, www.martinipark.com: Guest DJs and a whole lotta booty shakin’. 8p; no cover.

TURN OUT FOR EO Columbus Night of Equality @ U, 782 N High St, 614.224.0400, www.equalityohio.org: Appetizers, door prizes, and a representative from the Kilroy campaign. Proceeds benefit Equality Ohio. 6:30p8:30p; $20.

by Adam Leddy

SATURDAY, MARCH 7 HOME-OS AND GARDEN GAYS Central Ohio Home & Garden Show @ The Ohio Expo Center, 717 E 17th Ave, dispatchevents.com: Exhibitions, celebrities, and much more. Thru March 8. See David Bromstad on Saturday! Sat 10a-9p, Sun 11a-6p, Wed & Fri 12p-9p, MTR 4p-9p; $10.

FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT Old Lesbians Organizing for Change Meeting @ The Center on High, 1160 N High St, 614.299.7764, www.stonewallcolumbus.org: 11a-4p; free.

HOW A-MUSING March Show Opening Reception @ A Muse Gallery, 996 W 3rd Ave, 614.299.5003, www.amusegallery.com: Encaustic works by Mel Rea and sculpture by Mark Yale Harris. 4-7p; free.

GOOD? IT’S PROBABLE Panic @ The Wexner Center for the Arts, 1871 N High St, 614.292.3535, www.wexarts.org: The ever-innovative London ensemble Improbable debut their latest show. 2p; $10-$20.

HIP-HOP IS NOT DEAD Athens Boy Choir @ OSU Hillel, 46 E 16th Ave, gradqueers@osu.edu: Spoken word and hip-hop from transgender performers. Also featuring Katastrophe. 7p; free.

SUNDAY, MARCH 8 TOGA PARTY A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum @ Shadowbox Cabaret, Easton Towne Center, 614.416.7625, shadowboxcabaret.com: MELTS IN YOUR MOUTH, NOT IN YOUR HAND Shadowbox goes Roman! Physical comedy and a Melt @ Liquid, 1100 N High St, 614.298.3000, surprising storyline make this a can’t-miss. Sunwww.liquidhotspot.com: Men’s night at Liquid. No days thru April 26. 2:30p & 7p; $20-$30. cover dance party with DJ Durty Dolce. 10p-2a; no cover.

SINNERS ALWAYS PROSPER Absolut S. I. N. @ Wall Street Nightclub, 144 N IS MANHUNT COVERED? Wall St, 614.464.2800, www.wallstreetnightIsaac, I Am @ MadLab Theatre, 105 N Grant Ave, club.com: Service Industry Night means Absolut drink specials and music videos all evening with info at 614.495.7946, www.rtheatre.org: See our review on page 26.

Jenn & Kari. 8p-12a; no cover.

FRIDAY, MARCH 6 PECS AND GLUTES GALORE Arnold Sports Festival @ various locations, tickets at 614.431.3600 or ticketmaster.com/arnold: See page 26 for more info.

A FINE LAYER OF FILM Cleveland Film Festival Preview Party @ The Wexner Center for the Arts, 1871 N High St, 614.292.3535, www.wexarts.org: 6p; free.

See page 18 for more info.

UP JUMPS THE BOOGIE Columbus Dances IX @ The Fisher Theatre, 592 E Main St, 614.849.0227, www.columbusmovementmovement.com: New and familiar faces present new and familiar dances to our fair city.

Fri-Sat 8p, Sun 2p; $10-$15.

A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN Columbus Lesbian Softball League Spring Party @ Blazers Pub, 1205 N High St, 614.299.1800: New players and returning teams sign up. Apps, a door prize, and some good mingling. 2p-4p; free.

MAD ‘ABOOT’ HOCKEY, EH? Ohio Mayhem vs. Messin’ With @ Chiller Dublin, 7001 Dublin Park Drive, 614.764.1000, www.gayhockeyohio.com: See the gay hockey team in action. 5p; free.

MONDAY, MARCH 9 BUYER BE READY How to Buy a Home in 2009 @ The Center on High, 1160 N High St, 614.361.8400, www.stonewallcolumbus.org: Experts Cindy Dunigan, Deb Woodard, and Carolyn Frey take you through the process. Call to RSVP. 7p-9p; free.

For more info on Cindy & Carolyn, see page 11.

I’M AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WEST Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? @ Emerald City Theatre, 6799 Dublin Center Rd, Dublin, 614.470.1525, www.emeraldcityplayers.com: TUESDAY, MARCH 10 Albee’s most famous work. Secrets, seduction, DIVER-CITY and tragedy. Thru March 21. Fri-Sat 8p; $10-$12. Columbus Diversity World Café @ COSI, 333 W Broad St, 614.228.2674, www.cosi.org: Columbus IT’S JUST WHAT I NEEDED is all about diversity. Let’s talk about it. PreRic Ocasek’s Noise Colored Party @ The Mahan sented by CMCpm. 5p-7p; $8-$10.

Gallery, 717 N High St, 614.294.3278: Ocasek (of The Cars) debuts his first solo art exhibition.

On view thru April 25. 6p-10p; free.

MAR 04 - MAR 10 2009

04 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

The Reader Poll

COMMON LIFE

by Jennifer Vanasco

Last week we asked:

We’re Not Speechless Last week, a Grand Rapids television station decided to pull an hour-long infomercial called Speechless: Silencing the Christians.

Whether this was a good decision for gay and lesbian civil rights or a bad one depends on what happens next.

On the surface, of course, it seems good.

The infomercial, produced by the gay-hating, radical right wing religious organization the American Family Association, is a stream of misdirection, misinformation and outright lies.

Through interviews with leaders of a small number of far-right organizations like Concerned Women for America, the Christian AntiDefamation Commission, the Media Research Center and the ex-gay group Exodus International, Speechless tells a story that would be horrifying if it were true: gay and lesbian activists are using violence and intimidation to keep Christians from practicing their religion.

Of course, it’s not true at all. Gay people aren’t trying to pass laws to keep Christians from marrying, or attacking them on the street because they’re Christian, or firing them from their places of employment (which would be illegal anyway, under federal anti-discrimination law that we’d like to extend to ourselves).

These things happen to gays and lesbians all the time.

The infomercial is dangerous, because it feeds on fear and uncertainty with inflammatory language and stock video that tries to scare viewers into believing that if even basic anti-discrimination laws are passed, then America’s children (who, interestingly, all seem to be white in the pictures flashed across the screen) are in danger.

What, exactly, they are in danger of isn’t made clear. Open-mindedness? Independent thinking?

This sort of infomercial, though, sways opinions in the same way those ridiculous, hate-mongering internet forwards do - by feeding on people’s doubts and prejudices by saying things that aren’t true, but that people

fear are true. So in the world of Internet forwards, then-candidate Barack Obama was a Muslim terrorist. And in the world of Speechless, gay people are opening fire on places of worship (really).

When the Human Rights Campaign learned that the station in Grand Rapids planned to air the infomercial, they put out a call to action. The station was flooded with messages from angry gays and lesbians demanding the piece be pulled.

And it was.

What I like about the HRC’s call is that it requested that a reasoned debate on hate crime be substituted for the deceitful infomercial.

That seems fair.

But the other side, of course, won’t see it that way.

In fact, my guess is that the pulling of the infomercial will only lend fuel to the AFA fire.

Now they’ll be able to point to it as just another example of gays and lesbians, and the “liberal” media, trying to stifle Christian speech.

I also worry that the controversy over the Grand Rapids television decision means that many more people are watching Speechless on the AFA website than would have ever seen it on a small, local TV channel.

And yet, when faced with trash like the AFA infomercial, we can’t just do nothing. We know that lies like these affect real people in our community, giving bigots who fire us and bash us an air of legitimacy.

So what should we do?

First, of course, we need to counter the AFA’s lies with point-by-point truth.

But it is not facts that sway hearts - it is points of commonality.

We need to do a better job of building bridges between the gay and lesbian civil rights movement and more liberal faith communities. We need to highlight the experiences of gay and lesbian faith leaders - like Gene Robinson, Mel White and Peter Gomes. We

Last week we asked: What’s your favorite gay movie?

37% Brokeback Mountain 16% Torch Song Trilogy 5% Longtime Companion

42% Other, need to start flooding the airwaves with pictures of gay people attending religious services.

We need to end the lie that religion and gayness are incompatible.

I know that a lot of gay people will be uncomfortable with this. Many gays and lesbians, religious or not, have been hurt by religious institutions. But the fact is that America is a religious country, far more religious than other Western countries. And many gays and lesbians who grew up in America are religious, too. We attend church and synagogue. We go to Buddhist temples.

We celebrate annual religious holidays. We pray.

Gays and lesbians shouldn’t have to deny any parts of ourselves - not our sexual orientation, and not our religious affiliation, should we have one. We can be both religious and gay.

We need to show that gays and lesbians aren’t silencing Christians - because many of us are Christian, too.

Jennifer Vanasco is an award-winning syndicated columnist. Email her at Jennifer.vanasco@gmail.com.

Follow her on Twitter at twitter.com/JenniferVanasco.

including Milk, Girls Will Be Girls, Batman Forever, and Spunk in the Trunk 2.

NEXT WEEK’S QUESTION:

Which best describes your current employment/job situation?

Log on to: www.outlookweekly.net to take this week’s poll.

65%

SOURCE: GALLUP

MAR 04 - MAR 10 2009

CATEGORY

JAN 20 ’09

MAR 02 ’09

DIFFERENCE

AMERICAN DEAD

4,226

4,251

25

AMERICAN WOUNDED

30,934

31,054

120

IRAQI CIVILIAN DEAD

98,605

99,120

515

NATIONAL DEBT

$10,605,968,804,933 $10,843,355,058,860 $237,386,253,927

DAYS IN OFFICE

1

42

41

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 05

MAR 04 - MAR 10 2009

06 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

COMMUNITY CORNER

Join Equality Ohio Thursday Evening for a Columbus Night of Equality

The current reconnection among GLFers started in the fall of 2007 when an obituary about New York activist and GLF member Bob Kohler was circulated via the Internet. GLFer Diaman already maintained a list with Support Equality Ohio and meet, greet, and Nikos some of the pioneers as well as a web site network with other pro-equality people in the with photos, history, memorial listing and upColumbus area. Appetizers, door prizes, and dates — www.angelfire.com/on2/glf2000. special guest Ryan Halterman from Rep. Mary Among those involved in the current effort Jo Kilroy’s office. A tasty way to show your sup- to expand the network of GLF “alumni” are port: quaff a delicious $5 Equalitini.

Nikos Diaman of California, Martha Shelley of Oregon, Bob Bland of Arizona, Tommi Avicolli Mecca of California, Perry Brass of New York, Mark Segal of Pennsylvania, Allen Young of Massachusetts, and Roberto Camp of Mexico.

Organizers are interested in hearing from members not already in touch. The pioneering or friends who have information Hear updates from Equality Ohio’s staff on activists, about such individuals, are asked to provide how you can be part of the movement for chapter location, and all contact equality. Tickets are $20 and all proceeds sup- names, GLF including phone, email and mail port the work of Equality Ohio, a member-sup- information address.

Information about deceased memported 501(c)4 organization that relies on the bers is also wanted. The organizers can be generous support of individuals like you to contacted by email at nadiaman@aol.com. continue its daily work.

Join EO at Union, 6:30p-8:30p on Thursday, WOSU’S Fred Andrle in the south side of the restaurant. To RSVP and purchase your tickets, please call Michele Announces Retirement Plans at 614.224.0400 or send an e-mail to WOSU Public Media’s Fred Andrle anmichele@equalityohio.org with “Columbus nounced that he will retire from WOSU Public Night of Equality” in the subject line. Tickets Media on May 29. Andrle has worked at WOSU will also be available at the door. for over 25 years, serving as host of Open Line on WOSU 820 AM for the past 20 years.

Gay Liberation Pioneers Seek “I’ve thoroughly enjoyed hosting Open Line over the years,” said Andrle. “I feel so privi“Lost” Colleagues for 2009 leged to have had the opportunity to talk to Reunions some of the most extraordinary people, both Former members of the Gay Liberation Front locally and all over the world, and share ideas (GLF), the organization that launched the and information with the Open Line audience,” modern gay rights movement in the wake of he added. “Now, with more free time, I want to the June 1969 Stonewall Rebellion in New York take the opportunity to experience life, travel, City, are seeking information about “lost” col- and write. I just felt in my heart I was ready to leagues as they plan reunions in June to mark make the transition to the next stage of my the 40th anniversary of Stonewall. life.”

The reunions, including possible contingents in Pride parades in New York and San Francisco, are being planned to include former gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered members of GLF chapters throughout the nation and the world.

Approximately 100 people are already connected to the planning group, while among those “lost” or otherwise unreachable are the following: Mike Boyle, John Brault/Murphy, Kathy Andrle started his career at WOSU Public Braun, Tom Buckingham, David Elbaz, Mark Media working in television, but found his Ericson, Jesse Fallon, Bob Fauss, Richard Far- niche in radio. He has won numerous broadrell, Marta Ferro, Steve Gavin, Donna casting awards over the years including Best Gottshalk, Paul Guzzardo, Gerald Hansen, Columbus Radio Talk-Show Host and Radio Craig Hoke, March Hoffman, Jim Jordan, Bill Producer of the Year, among others. He has Katzenberg, Larry Kehoe, Roger Kornhaber, also been honored with several community Bernard Lewis, Pat Maxwell, Stephanie Meyers, service awards.

Nova, Jack Openhym, Barbara Payne, Roberta “For the past two decades, Fred Andrle has Rheume, Ana Sánchez, Roni Schnitzer, Charles been a gift to the Columbus community,” said Shoe, Lin Stephen, Ruben Toro, Kay Van Deurs, WOSU Public Media General Manager Tom Tom White, Ann Wilson, Barry, Dore, Marty from Rieland. “I consider him the best radio talk Queens and Liban from Paris. show host in America and I know his loyal lis-

MAR 04 - MAR 10 2009

teners would agree. We plan to lure Fred back to the microphone on occasion, but I know his talents will flourish in many other directions, and we wish him all the best in life.”

WOSU Public Media is community-supported, nonprofit, noncommercial public radio and television stations licensed to The Ohio State University. For more information, visit wosu.org.

Between the Worlds Men’s Gathering Registration Open The Green Faerie Grove is pleased to announce that registration is now open for the eighth annual Between the Worlds (BTW) Men’s Gathering, which will be held in Southeastern Ohio September 15-20. The setting is a private campground in the lushly forested hills of Southeastern Ohio. BTW is geared toward men who love men, age 18 and older.

The BTW Men’s Gathering was designed to provide a safe place for men who love men to explore alternative spiritual practices and paths. Our vision is to create a safe and sacred community wherein men who love men can freely share ideas on the nature of spirituality and their place in the universe in a loving, respectful and non-judgmental manner.

The event will offer rituals, workshops, drumming, dancing, performances, a marketplace, and safe space for queer men to learn, worship, network, and explore. Featured in Margot Adler’s Drawing Down the Moon (Penguin, 2006), BTW is a national gathering of spiritual expression and experiences relevant to men who love men. For more info, visit www.greenfaeriegrove.org.

HRC Statement on Selection of White House HIV/AIDS Advisor The Human Rights Campaign, the nation’s largest LGBT civil rights organization, issued a statement on the selection of Jeffrey S. Crowley to head the Office of National AIDS Policy for President Barack Obama. Crowley, a senior research scholar at Georgetown University’s Health Policy Institute, will coordinate the federal government’s efforts on HIV/AIDS policy and will help guide the administration’s development of disability policies.

“The announcement of Jeffrey Crowley signals that HIV/AIDS issues will be an integral part of health care reform in the Obama Administration,” said Human Rights Campaign President Joe Solmonese.

“Throughout his campaign, President Obama called for the development of a bold national AIDS strategy. With Crowley’s leadership, we look forward to working with the Office of National AIDS Policy in setting an aggressive agenda to combat HIV/AIDS in our country.”

Crowley, who is openly gay, joined the

Health Policy Institute in October 2000. Prior to his time at Georgetown, Mr. Crowley served as the deputy executive director for programs at the National Association of People with AIDS (NAPWA), overseeing the organization’s public education, community development, and training activities.

The Office of National AIDS Policy (ONAP) is the White House office tasked with coordinating the continuing efforts of the government to reduce the number of HIV infections across the United States. The office emphasizes prevention through wide-ranging education initiatives and also helps to coordinate the care and treatment of citizens with HIV/AIDS. The ONAP is part of the Executive Office of the President’s Domestic Policy Council (DPC).

Plexus Announces Cleveland & Akron Network Nights Join Plexus for your two chances to preview clips from selected films coming to the 33rd Annual Cleveland International Film Festival and learn about some of the outstanding cinema coming to our area!

Our featured speaker at both events will be Patrick Shepherd. Shepherd is the associate director of the Cleveland International Film Festival, a post he has held since 2001. Join us as he shares stories from the film festival.

In addition, he will show some clips and let us know about some of the highlights of this year’s festival. The Cleveland International Film Festival also features 10% Cinema, a selection of films that are of interest to the LGBT community.

As a very special door prize, all attendees will receive vouchers for the 33rd Annual Cleveland International Film Festival. Events will be held in Cleveland on March 10 and in Akron on March 11.

Tuesday, March 10 - Cleveland Network Night Our host for the Cleveland Network Night is Stages at Playhouse Square. Stages at the Cleveland Play House is located on the Carnegie Avenue side of the Cleveland Play House. Newly renovated in the former Play House Club space, this exciting new restaurant features a creative menu, piano entertainment prior to the Cleveland Play House productions and musical events in the restaurant beginning at 9p on Fridays and Saturdays.

Wednesday, March 11 - Akron Network Night The Akron Networking Night will be hosted at Square. Located in the historic Highland Square neighborhood of Akron, Square is a fun and funky bar. It was voted best in Akron/Canton for Best Gay and Lesbian Bar. Great atmosphere, great bartenders and great patrons combine for a winning location.

To register for either event, visit http://thinkplexus.org.

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 07

MAR 04 - MAR 10 2009

08 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

MAR 04 - MAR 10 2009

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 09

TRANSNATION

by Jacob Anderson-Minshall

From Lock up to Freak Show “I’m still not really clear on why my parents decided to send me to Provo Canyon School,” remarks 24-year-old trans performer Kestryl Cael, recalling the events that led to hir incarceration at the notorious “therapeutic boarding school” in 2000.

Kept indoors for months on end, physically tortured and strip-searched “whenever the staff got bored,” Cael says now, “The gruesome reality of places like Provo Canyon School surpasses these basic descriptions.”

There are wide allegations of abuse and torture at such schools and, in at least one previous lawsuit, Utah’s PCS was reportedly found guilty of “cruel and unusual punishment, anti-therapeutic and inhumane treatment, and denial of due process.” It continues to operate.

“Places like PCS are technically registered as private boarding schools, and a minor can be placed in one simply at the parent or guardian’s will - no diagnosis [needed],” Cael explains. “The schools aren’t closely regulated by the state, nor is there a baseline of care requirements that they’re mandated to follow.”

Fifteen at the time, Cael muses, “I was a good student. … I wasn’t using drugs. All I can figure is that [my parents] felt threatened by the direction I was heading with my life - queer, artist, liberal radical - and took the only step they could

think of to try to rein me in and make me, by their standards, normal.”

In spite of their efforts, Cael has grown up to be a queer-identified, transgender, butch gender activist and performing artist who co-founded the art co-op PoMo Freakshow with hir partner, Sassafras Lowrey in 2007.

“In an ideal world,” Cael contends, “I’d use gender-neutral [pronouns] all the time, but … most people take one look at me these days and assume male pronoun. When I pass as male; or when Sass and I pass as, quote, straight; or when I pass as a trans guy; or when we’re seen as a butch-femme couple, I’m not being accepted as what I am. Something, several somethings, are being remaindered, ignored, avoided.”

In choosing their nom de plume, PoMo Freakshow (pomofreakshow.com), the duo recognized the “coercive history of the circus and the freak show. My performance work tries to turn the query around: Who, actually, is the freak: the performer or the audience?”

The former Portland resident’s latest show, XY(T), premiered there in 2007, just before ze graduated from Lewis & Clark College and headed to New York. In its final week, Cael’s one man show about “testosterone, and the social mythology that surrounds it,” shared the bill at

WOW Café Theater (wowcafe.org) with the lesbian comedy Waiting for the Show.

Although TimeOut New York called XY(T) “less educational than The L Word,” Cael retorts, “I fail to see how being less educational than The L Word is a bad thing. I wouldn’t say that XY(T) is supposed to be educational - it combines autobiography, ethnography, a syringe and a massive pink strap-on to chart the masculinity and mayhem of one queer’s quest for a gender that makes sense.”

When XY(T) wraps, Cael hopes to dive into additional performances of Traitors Without (T)reason, the collaboration with Lowrey that premiered last summer to a sold out show at the HOT! Festival.

The “largely autobiographical” Traitors explores Cael’s complicated - in terms of identity and community - relationship with Lowrey. “We joke that we were fags when we got together,” Cael explains. “We both had masculine presentations. [Now] we both ID strongly as queer, [but] frequently pass as a straight couple. We’re legally married … [but] we’re both ambivalent [and] opposed to marriage as a legal institution.

When Sass and I got a legal marriage, we were repeatedly accused of being traitors and betraying the queer community. We lost several friends over the issue.”

In addition to attending a performance arts graduate program, Cael plans next to continue hir work on 348, a play revolving around hir experiences at Provo Canyon School.

“It’s a difficult and emotionally draining piece to work on,” Cael admits. “But it’s an important story to tell.” Ze conveyed some of that experience in a piece written for the Homofactus Press anthology, Kicked Out, which comes out later this year, but admits, “I’m still working on ways to truly evoke its terror in live performance.”

Trans author Jacob Anderson-Minshall is the author of Blind Faith, the latest Blind Eye mystery; view the book trailer and find out more at blindeyemysteries.com. Gender Blender, a radio show Jacob co-hosts on Portland’s KBOO, is available for download at kboo.fm/genderblender.

THE EXAMINED LIFE

by Tom Moon, MFT

Losing the Love War Q: I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost two years, but he’s still holding me at arm’s length.

He has a big problem with using the L word. Except for once when we first got together, he won’t say it. He says I should just know how he feels without needing him to constantly say it.

He has a thousand friends and has to spend time with every one of them, so I get about one evening alone with him per week. And most of the time he won’t schedule anything with me until the last minute. Whenever I try to make plans with him in advance, he says, “Well, let’s see how the week goes.” And if he doesn’t want to do something that I suggest, he won’t say so directly. He’ll be vague and beat around the bush until the last minute and then come up with some bullshit excuse about why he can’t.

He’s afraid of being close and committed, even though he wants it. I spent a lot of time in psychotherapy working to get over my miserable childhood with emotionally checked-out parents, so I understand why he’s the way he is.

It all goes back to his own childhood with two alcoholic parents that he could never trust or rely on. (But he’s still not free of them. He has never come out to them, and I have to make myself scarce whenever they visit.) Now he’s compulsively independent because he feels it’s too dangerous to let himself get committed and inti-

mate with any one person. He really needs therapy but he says he doesn’t believe in it. I know he’s just scared of it for the same reason he’s scared of committing to me, but I don’t know how to get him to see that. We may not make it if I can’t get him to see somebody and deal with all his fears and traumas. How can I get him to understand that?

A: Are you sure you’re asking the right question?

What I hear is that you’re on a mission to get your boyfriend into therapy so that he’ll get fixed and become the kind of partner you want. My question is: Who’s sweating? Which one of you has the problem? You have some big problems with how he lives his life, but there’s nothing in what you wrote to suggest that he does. Your idea that he’s deeply affected by unresolved childhood experiences sounds plausible and may well be correct, but isn’t that equally likely to be true of you? Is it just a coincidence that, having been raised by “emotionally checked-out parents,” you’re now on a crusade to fix an emotionally checked-out boyfriend?

Children growing up in families with parents who can’t meet their emotional needs have little choice but to use any strategy they can to get their needs met. They learn to beg, demand, rage, manipulate, wheedle, cajole, guilt-trip - whatever

gets them some attention. They become adept at the “love war.” Often they develop what’s known as a “reparative fantasy” - the delusion that, if they can just figure it out, there’s some way they can heal their caregivers, so that they’ll become the parents they should be. Unfortunately, those who have this pattern tend to carry it into adulthood. They form partnerships with people who are emotionally unavailable and then treat them as human reclamation projects.

The bottom line is that you aren’t going to be able to change your boyfriend’s personality. It is true that people do sometimes make dramatic changes in psychotherapy, but only if they are highly motivated to change because of their own suffering. Not much happens if they go into therapy to please a partner (or get him off their backs).

You aren’t going to be able to win this love war, because these wars are inherently impossible to win. I think the work you need to do is to look in side yourself rather than to try to get him to be someone else.

A more realistic approach might be to do the following exercise: sit down and write in as much detail as you can what qualities are absolutely indispensable in any man in order for you to be able to have a successful relationship with him.

Then assess honestly how closely this description matches the qualities of your current boyfriend.

Don’t get distracted by wishful thinking about how he could change if he just tried. Ask yourself if you can stay with him if he remains pretty much the same person he is today. If you can, let go of the struggle to change him, and do your best to accept him as he is, including the qualities you don’t like.

If you can’t, it is probably time for you to move on.

Love, unfortunately, isn’t by itself enough to keep any relationship going. Compatibility is equally important.

Tom Moon is a psychotherapist in San Francisco. His website is www.tommoon.net.

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Spotlight:

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OUT BUSINESS NEWS

by Adam Leddy

Cindy Dunigan & Carolyn Frey

In a housing market like this, you need people like Cindy Dunigan and Carolyn Frey.

First, you need them to remind you that in spite of what you may have heard, we are not facing Armageddon. People are still buying and selling homes. Buyers are still being approved for loans. Things are tough, but Cindy and Carolyn are optimistic that we will weather the current economic storm.

And in the meantime, it just might be time to buy.

Carolyn is a co-owner of Mortgage Lending Solutions of Ohio and Cindy is a fulltime agent with Real Living HER. They often partner to educate prospective homeowners, and they are hosting a seminar at Stonewall at 7p on Monday, March 9, on how to buy a home in 2009. Proud members of the GLBT community, they know their stuff and were eager to answer a few questions from Outlook.

Adam Leddy: What does a first-time homebuyer need to know about entering the market?

Carolyn Frey: That there has never been a better time to purchase in our lifetime. We are still lending and helping people to buy and refinance homes every day. We are at near 40-year interest rate lows. This all translates into buyers being able to afford a

lot more house for their money than in the past.

Cindy Dunigan: Choose a realtor who will educate you and help you through the process from start to finish. If you have a job, good credit and a little bit of money to put into the deal you are almost there. Why continue to pay someone else’s mortgage?

AL: Who should be looking to buy a home in this market?

CF: Anyone who has ever even dreamt of owning his or her own home or condo should be looking! With home prices down, and mortgage rates down, anyone who’s ever been interested should have the courage to call and talk with a mortgage professional, and see what they qualify for.

AL: What sort of deals or opportunities are out there for prospective buyers?

CD: There are many “deals” from short sale or pre-foreclosure properties to properties that have already been foreclosed on and now the bank is selling the property. Anytime you are dealing with someone other than the actual homeowner, you are generally able to negotiate a better bottom line purchase price. Just think of it this way - the bank doesn’t have any personal attachment to the property so you won’t be offending anyone.

Keep in mind, though, that most “deals” require some work to be done, and they aren’t generally move-in ready.

AL: What can you do to help prospective sellers, even when the market belongs to the buyers?

CD: The first thing I tell sellers is that they may sell for less than they want, but if they are buying another home they will pay less for that home. Buyers have a tremendous number of homes to choose from, and if yours doesn’t stand out, you’ll get passed by. My advice would be to paint a neutral color if needed, clean, clean and then clean some more, remove all clutter, and depersonalize (remove all your family photos). No one ever said it was convenient to sell your home, but there are many steps that can be taken.

AL: What does the passage of the stimulus mean for Central Ohio homeowners, sellers, and buyers?

CF: I think overall we are going to need some time to pass before we start seeing the positive effects from the bill and the bailout. It hopefully is going to help all of us in many ways. It will help encourage buyers with the tax incentives to go and purchase properties and to rehab them. It will therefore help

sellers as well, and assist them with their purchases of new homes.

CD: The stimulus package adds additional monies to incentivize buyers to buy, and that helps the sellers too, because there are more buyers out there to potentially buy their home. They say that for every first time homebuyer purchase, there is a chain of two more home sales or purchases.

AL: How will we know when the housing market is showing signs of recovery? And can it recover independent of the larger economy?

CF: I believe that Columbus is actually going to be ahead of the national economy’s recovery. We are fortunate in that Columbus is kind of in its own bubble with housing and our economy. In the middle of this storm, we truly are still blessed compared to other places where they have it much worse.

CD: I think everything is tied together but I also think the housing market will show signs of recovery before the larger economy.

People will always need a place to live, whether it is a home they own or a rental.

The larger economy has bigger issues that will take more time to resolve.

Author Says Small Business Owners Should Practice “Tough Love” Whether its recession time or boom time, small business owners should look at the way they operate in order to maximize their revenues. Many small businesses are run a little loosely; because many owners believe they lack the overhead and the staff to require a lot of strict policies and procedures.

That’s a mistake, according to Jim Muehlhausen, CPA and author of The 51 Fatal Business Errors and How To Avoid Them, from Emerald Publishing (www.51errors.com).

“Every business owner is enrolled in the world’s most expensive business school: the School of Hard Knocks,” Muehlhausen said.

“Instead of acquiring business knowledge the slow and expensive way, business owners need to capitalize on the hard-fought lessons of others. That’s why benevolent dictators are the best small business leaders, because ruling by committee against that landscape rarely works.”

Small businesses face more challenges

than the large corporations with huge cash reserves to help them through financial crises. They are more susceptible to market fluctuations, have fewer clients to support them and generally have more transient staff.

On the flip side, they also make up 70% of the businesses in the US, so as goes small business, so goes the economy.

In order to swim with the big fish without getting eaten, Muehlhausen suggests that small business owners get a little tougher and smarter to survive the nasty water.

“There are several practices that are considered standard operating procedure that actually work against small business owners,” Muehlhausen said. “First, many insist on learning hard lessons themselves rather than learn from the mistakes of their competitors. To compound the problem, they also tend to hire employees away from their competitors without realizing that chances are that the employee may be leaving because

they had been fired, or they are about to be fired. In essence, they wind up with their competitors’ rejects, who they wind up firing soon after.”

Muehlhausen also stresses that CEOs need to be benevolent dictators to be more effective.

“Managing employees is a lot like parenting,” he said. “Employees may not like what you do, but you’ll have to do it, anyway. Many CEOs are afraid to be authoritarian, but they should do it, anyway. They should remember two things - first, being authoritarian does not mean you can’t be nice, and second, it’s the CEO’s name on the big door. No one else will be blamed for the failure of staff. An autocrat is not automatically a jerk, and businesses aren’t a democracy. Hire good people, listen to input, but after you’ve listened, call the play and make sure you have a team on board who’s going to execute it.”

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EARTH TALK From the Editors of E

Dear EarthTalk: Are any major brands of disposable tissues, paper towels, napkins and toilet paper yet using recycled content and chlorine-free bleaching?

Sylvia Comstock, Montpelier, VT Not many. In fact, some of the biggest names in disposable paper products are the worst offenders. According to the nonprofit Natural Resources Defense Council (NRDC), forests at home and abroad are being destroyed to make toilet paper, facial tissues, paper towels and other disposable paper products. Giant paper producers such as Kimberly-Clark (Scott, Cottonelle, Kleenex and Viva) and Procter & Gamble (Puffs, Charmin and Bounty) are, in the words of NRDC, “forcing the destruction of our continent’s most vibrant forests, and devastating the habitat for countless wildlife species in the process.”

Much of the virgin pulp used by these large manufacturers comes from Canada’s boreal forest. Some 500,000 acres of boreal forest in Ontario and Alberta alone - key habitat for caribou, lynx, wolves and scores of birds - are felled each year to provide pulp for disposable paper. Beyond wildlife concerns, Canada’s boreal forest, which stretches from coast to coast, comprises perhaps the world’s largest terrestrial storehouse of carbon dioxide, so it is critical to keep it intact to help mitigate global warming.

Kimberly-Clark uses some 1.1 million cubic meters of trees from Canada’s boreal forests each year to produce 465,000 metric tons of pulp. Only 19 percent of the pulp it uses to make home use disposable paper products comes from recycled sources. Some of its brands, including Kleenex and Scott, contain no recycled content whatsoever.

Nor do Procter and Gamble’s Bounty, Charmin or Puffs, says NRDC. Another issue with tissue (and paper overall) is the use of chlorine for whitening. Chlorine used in

many bleaching processes contributes to the formation of dioxins and furans, chemicals that end up in our air and water and can cause cancer.

Safer processes use oxygen compounds and result in paper that is “totally chlorine free,” “process chlorine free” (chlorine free except for recycled fibers that were previously chlorine-bleached) or “elemental chlorine free,” which substitutes safer chlorine dioxide for chlorine.

NRDC and other groups are pressuring the tissue products industry to change its ways, and are working to educate consumers about their options when buying tissue paper products. NRDC’s online “Shopper’s Guide to Home Tissue Products” offers reams of free advice on which brands to look for and which to avoid. Marcal is the only household name that NRDC rates high on paper sourcing (100 percent recycled and 40 to 60 percent postconsumer content) and chlorine use (process chlorine-free). Brands ranking highest (up to 80 percent post-consumer content and process-chlorine free) include 365 (the Whole Foods brand), Seventh Generation, Earth First, and Planet, among others. No brands are totally chlorine free.

In general, consumers should seek out brands that specifically tout use of 100 percent recycled materials with a high percentage (40 percent or more) of post-consumer waste, and not just keywords like “green” or “eco” on their labels, which may be misleading. Also, before you even purchase that next roll of disposable paper, think about how you can reduce the amount you use in the first place. Paper tissues, towels and napkins, for example, have re-usable options in handkerchiefs and cotton towels and napkins.

CONTACTS: NRDC Shopper’s Guide to Home Tissue Products, www.nrdc.org/land/forests/gtissue.asp; Kimberly-Clark, www.kimberly-clark.com; Procter & Gamble, www.pg.com.

GOT AN ENVIRONMENTAL QUESTION? E-mail: earthtalk@emagazine.com.

MAR 04 - MAR 10 2009

Call for Entries: SWACO’s Emerald Awards Honors Green Efforts It’s a call for entries as SWACO gets ready to honor the best and most innovative waste reduction, recycling and litter prevention programs of 2008. SWACO’s fourth annual Central Ohio Emeralds will be presented at the Aladdin Shrine Temple, 3850 Stelzer Rd (across from Easton), Tuesday, May 12, beginning at 11:30a. Communities, organizations, businesses, schools, and individuals will be honored in six categories: Leadership, Partnership, Innovation, Entrepreneurship, Environmental Education, and Litter Clean-up.

Award nominations must arrive at SWACO by 11:59pm on March 31. Nominations can be made at http://www.swaco.org/EmeraldNomination, or in written form by contacting SWACO at 614.871.5100 for more information.

Last year’s honorees included SWACO’s Board of Trustees Award to the Columbus law firm of Luper, Neidenthal and Logan.

The firm designed proprietary scanning software to turn incoming mail into a paperless format. It also required all draft documents to be completed on the computer. Further, all faxes are sent and received electronically and employees are required to print on both sides of the paper.

The Emerald for Leadership last year was received by ReStore of the Columbus chapter of Habitat for Humanity. This north side store diverted 2-3 million pounds of con-

struction leftovers by collecting donated usable materials from building sites and then reselling those products to fund Habitat housing projects that help those in need across Central Ohio.

Columbus based PSB Company, a division of White Castle Systems, received the Emerald for Innovation. PSB designed a new paint spraying system that coats the panels for White Castle Restaurants. That process reduced by 17 tons the amount of waste sent to the landfill. The company also instituted other recycling programs that resulted in a total waste reduction of 145 tons.

The Central Ohio Emerald awards are presented by the Solid Waste Authority of Central Ohio. SWACO serves Columbus and Franklin County, Ohio with innovative waste reduction and recycling projects. We believe that today’s throwaways are the foundation for tomorrow. SWACO also offers residential recycling opportunities through 200 recycling drop-off locations, at major sporting and entertainment venues, at Columbus City Schools, the Columbus Arts Festival and other locations. SWACO provides leadership and advice for businesses wishing to begin recycling and waste reduction programs as well. Our operations include the Franklin County Landfill, three transfer stations, and other programs. More on SWACO at www.swaco.org.

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FEATURE STORY

The Wexner Center presents the third annual Out@Wex film festival, a celebration of innovative filmmaking around GLBT issues and subject matter, Thursday-Saturday, March 12-14. The festival features seven films, a party on Friday, and a Q&A session with interfaith chaplain Kayla Bonewell, who appears in Equality U. Screenings include Cannes and Toronto festival favorite Love Songs, Bruce La Bruce’s avant-garde take on lustful zombies in Berlin, Otto, or Up With Dead People, and the underground gem The Lollipop Generation, featuring musicians Vaginal Davis and Calvin Johnson.

Tickets for each screening are $7 general public, and $5 members, students, and senior citizens. To purchase tickets, visit www.wexarts.org/fv or call 614.292.3535. All films will be screened in the center’s state-ofMAR 04 - MAR 10 2009

the-art Film/Video Theater, 1871 N High St. Convenient parking is available in Ohio State’s Ohio Union Garage just south of the center.

Visitors also have the option of becoming Wexner Center members at a 15% discount off regular membership price, along with two free tickets to an Out@Wex film or two free film passes; mention “Out@Wex” to join.

Support for Out@Wex is generously provided by ButtOut Ohio. Promotional support for the Out@Wex film festival is provided by Outlook Weekly and Out in Columbus.

Out@Wex is cosponsored by BRAVO, Equality Ohio, HRC Columbus Steering Committee, Kaleidoscope Youth Center, Ohio State’s GLBT Alumni Society, Ohio State’s Multicultural Center, and Stonewall Columbus.

Thursday, March 12 7p: Equality U (Dave O’Brien, 2008). 91 mins.

Equality U follows a group of young activists on the Soulforce Equality Ride, a two-month, crosscountry tour to confront antigay discrimination policies at select conservative religious and military colleges. Often facing arrest at the colleges, the riders (some Christians, some not) practice nonviolent resistance while trying to engage students in a dialogue about intolerance. Kayla Bonewell, Interfaith Chaplain at California Pacific Medical Center in San Francisco, who appears in the film, takes questions following the screening.

Friday, March 13 7p: Love Songs (Christophe Honoré, 2007). 100 mins. An audience favorite at the Cannes and Toronto film festivals, Love Songs features a memorable score sung by the cast, a balcony scene, and some beautiful young French movie stars. Characters hop from bed to bed and confront love and loss in this song-filled, tragedy-inflected romance. By the film’s end, the pairings show a refreshing disregard for gender. References to French New Wave classics such as The Umbrellas of Cherbourg, Jules and Jim, and numerous Godard films abound. The lovely leads include Louis Garrel (compared by some to the young Hugh Grant) of Dans Paris and The Dreamers, Ludivine Sagnier of Swimming Pool, and Clotilde Hesme of Regular Lovers. Join us after this film for the annual Out@Wex party, with snacks and a cash bar in the café area. continued on pg 16

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not only on GLBT kids to “fit in” but also on straight teens. Stay after the film for a conversation in which audience members have the opportunity to discuss their experiences related to the film’s topic.

Friday, March 13 10p: Otto, or Up with Dead People (Bruce La Bruce, 2008). 95 mins. The latest artporn provocation from Bruce La Bruce, Otto depicts an explosion of cannibalistic, sodomy-seeking zombies in Berlin. The film follows a young lovesick zombie, Otto, as he shuffles through the city before being enlisted by a lesbian avant-garde filmmaker to star in her new film. The New York Times calls it “sexy and silly in just the right proportions.” Arrive early and stop by the annual Out@Wex party, with snacks and a cash bar, in the café area.

Saturday, March 14 2p: The Edge of Heaven (Faith Akin, 2007).

116 mins. Moving back and forth between Germany and Turkey, The Edge of Heaven focuses on a young German woman who befriends and falls in love with a young Turkish woman, much to the dismay of her disapproving mother.

4:15p: Born in Flames (Lizzie Borden, 1983). 80 mins. Lizzie Borden’s futuristic feminist drama follows the actions of the Women’s Army, a powerful underground faction of female vigilantes formed to combat the rampant oppression of women in the director’s vision of an alternate America. The film, from the director of Head-On, interweaves the lives of five characters: a father and son, a mother and daughter, and a political activist. Featuring German screen icon Hanna Schygulla.

7p: Straightlaced: How Gender’s Got Us All Tied Up (Debra Chasnoff, 2009). 70 mins.

Featuring candid interviews with more than 50 teenagers from diverse backgrounds, Straightlaced examines the stereotypes and antigay attitudes that result from the pressure on young people to conform to gender expectations. The film explores the pressure

Equality U tells the story of the Soulforce Equality Ride. One rider, Kayla Bonewell, spoke to Outlook Weekly’s Adam Leddy about her experience.

Kayla will also speak and answer questions after the Thursday showing of the documentary.

8:45p: The Lollipop Generation (G. B. Jones, 2008). 70 mins. Torontonian G. B. Jones has been called the “matriarch of queercore” for her work in film, music, zines, and art. Since 1992, she has been traveling North America with a Super-8 camera filming footage for The Lollipop Generation, a lost relic of underground cinema finally unearthed. The gritty and sweet DIY fable follows a young runaway girl who meets up with a cast of perverts, hustlers, playground dwellers, and lollipop lovers creating a never-never land of queeruptions. The film features appearances by a rogues’ gallery of gay and indie rock musicians and artists including Vaginal Davis and Calvin Johnson. Dennis Cooper says, “This legendary, unfinished film, fifteen years in the making … is roughly to queer cinema what Orson Welles’s The Other Side of Midnight is to, well, cinema.”

UPCOMING EXHIBITIONS AT WEX In April, the Wex welcomes three new exhibitions.

All three are on view April 2 - July 26:

tions, you’ll see how he is projecting his ideas into new mediums and new ways of presentation.

William Forsythe, Transfigurations Wexner Center Residency Award

Robin Rhode, Catch Air

See the first presentation in this country of a significant body of vanguard American choreographer William Forsythe’s gallery-based installation projects.

Forsythe, who received the 2002 Wexner Prize, has revolutionized classical ballet for our time with his bold, contemporary works, and he’s widely viewed as the greatest innovator in his field since George Balanchine. Forsythe has extended his choreographic thinking into new forms such as installations for gallery and public spaces, video, digital media, and publications. In Transfigura-

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This substantial solo exhibition - the artist’s first in a US museum and the Wexner Center’s first organized by senior curator Catharina Manchanda - brings you a firsthand look at his intriguing work.

Raised in Cape Town and Johannesburg, and now based in Berlin, Robin Rhode has emerged in the last decade as a highly influential artist. From an acute personal perspective shaped by South Africa’s history of racial discrimination, he highlights the push and pull between the liberating force of the individual’s imagination and the confines of media-driven stereotypes.

COOP HIMMELB(L)AU, Beyond the Blue The innovative approach of COOP HIMMELB(L)AU permeates buildings, ideas about urban planning, and even the name of this influential Viennese architectural firm.

Launched in May 1968, COOP HIMMELB(L)AU has never yielded the radical fervor of its founding moment. Among its recent projects are the double cone structure of the new BMW center (BMW Welt) in Munich, the eye-catching addition to the Akron Art Museum, and the dramatic headquarters for the European Central Bank in Frankfurt.

The Wexner Center is proud to host the US debut of this exhibition from MAK in Vienna, one of the world’s leading museums of contemporary art and design.

Adam Leddy: After watching the film, do you see your experience on the Equality Ride in a new light?

Kayla Bonewell: [The film] really has taught me something about the struggle. I kind of thought, “Okay, I’m going to do something for social justice,” but you don’t even know how much your relationships with the people you’re with are going to influence you. That was what the film really reminded me of.

AL: How did you find that your religious faith was challenged by some of the things you saw and the people you met?

KB: My faith grew through the trip, mostly because we would go to these campuses and again and again, I would hear people say, “We’ll pray for you.”

It didn’t really mean anything to me because I didn’t see them taking action in their lives, or in their communities, or at their school, to do anything to make the world different for GLBT people. This wasn’t everybody, but we did hear that a lot. It really challenged me and the way that I say, “I’ll pray about it.” I do believe that there is a huge power to prayer, but I think that taking action is also very important. [The experience] reminded me that I have to live my faith, not just say it.

AL: Did prayer play a large role in your experience? Did you pray for the people you met?

KB: Oh yeah. For several months before the trip, I prayed for all of us who were going to be on the ride - for our safety, for our impact, and for God to lead and guide us.

AL: How did the Equality Ride change your perception of what the movement for GLBT equality is?

KB: It taught me that anybody can be a part of the movement. You don’t have to be the smartest, most political, most religious person. We all have ways that we can make a difference. We don’t have to leave it to our so-called “leaders.” All of us can lead and lend ourselves to the movement.

Equality U screens at 7p on Thursday, March 12. Following the screening, Kayla Bonewell will participate in a Q & A with the audience.

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Cleveland Film Fest’s 10% Cinema Showcases GLBT Films The Cleveland International Film Festival has grown to annually attract more than 52,000 people for 11 days every March to Tower City Center. Over 310 films originating from 63 countries are showcased during this annual spring arts tradition. Over $3.1 million of economic impact is generated for Cleveland hotels, restaurants, and shops. The Cleveland International Film Festival is the largest film event between New York and Chicago.

Antarctica (Israel) Thursday, March 26 at 10p Sunday, March 29 at 7:15p A silly and seriously promiscuous romp through gay Tel Aviv - like New York, a city that never sleeps - Antarctica really turns up the heat. Omer is almost 30 and longs to find true love, but can’t pull himself away from his books and his onenight stands long enough to pursue anything serious. The journalist Ronen wants him, and with him Omer finds a kindred spirit but no physical attraction. Instead, Omer wants Danny, a beautiful dancer, shy and great for the short term, but not for the long. As Omer wrestles with his dilemma, his sister Shirley, under family pressure to marry, suddenly decides to pursue a lesbian relationship with her boss, the owner of a trendy coffee house. To make matters worse, Omer and Shirley have an outrageous Jewish mother (drag queen Miss Laila Carry, in an homage to Divine), who harps at her children to marry and have children. Meanwhile, Matilda Rose, a best-selling novelist, believes that aliens are going to land in central Tel Aviv and reveal everyone’s secret.

Antarctica is an audaciously explicit film about longing and love, featuring a strikingly attractive ensemble cast. (In Hebrew with English subtitles.)

Ask Not (USA) Friday, March 20 at 11:50a Saturday, March 21 at 9:20a Sunday, March 22 at 7p - with FilmForum A nationwide shortage of military recruits threatens US national security. But nearly 12,000 fully capable men and women have been discharged from the military as a result of the “Don’t Ask, MAR 04 - MAR 10 2009

Don’t Tell” policy. Instituted as a compromise in President Clinton’s campaign to end discrimination in the military in 1993, the policy has often done more harm than good. Thousands of soldiers lead double lives, risking their mental stability to support their country. Others do not even bother enlisting. Despite discouragement from friends and family, “Perry” has recently enlisted, resolving to “don’t tell” as he endangers his life in Iraq. Among the discharges is linguist Alex Nicholson, fluent in Arabic as well as four other languages, who has embarked on a tour of college campuses to educate servicemen and civilians about the discriminatory practices of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” Johnny Symons’s documentary Ask Not reveals the absurd, heartbreaking effects this policy has had on countless individuals and the nation at large, while offering hope in the form of the brave soldiers and civilians determined to revoke this questionable government ruling.

Between Love & Goodbye (USA) Friday, March 20 at 4:45p Saturday, March 21 at 9:45p Between Love & Goodbye is a film defined perfectly by its title. The story is a sexy, dramatic comedy about love and how it can change lives.

Marcel, a determined French actor, and Kyle, a handsome lead singer of a band, fall in love the moment their eyes meet. In order to stay in the US, Marcel marries their lesbian friend, Sarah, so he can continue his relationship with Kyle. Together Marcel and Kyle are inseparable and unstoppable. This holds true until Kyle’s transsexual, prostitute sister, April, shows up.

While Marcel sees her as an ex-prostitute who refuses to share her brother, Kyle can only see a sister in need of help. This leads to Marcel and Kyle’s relationship falling apart and secrets being revealed. Does blood really run thicker than water? The once ideal couple who could only love each other is sent into a freefall of loathing and resentment, also known as the place Between Love & Goodbye. It is only a matter of how far they will go to get past that place.

Chef’s Special (Spain) Saturday, March 28 at 9:35p Sunday, March 22 at 11:20a A sexy Spanish comedy with a soupcon of Almodovar, Chef’s Special is Ratatouille for grown-ups.

The drama swirls around Maxi, the flamboyant chef and owner of a trendy Madrid restaurant, whose biggest stressors revolve around the romantic foibles of his kitchen staff and the anticipation of soon being awarded a coveted Michelin star. Maxi’s fabulous lifestyle is at risk of grinding to a halt, though, when his ex-wife dies, leaving him with an angry fifteen-year-old son and a curious six-year-old daughter he barely knows. Matters come to a head when a really cute, and closeted, Argentine soccer player moves in down the hall and becomes the fixation of sexy but romantically-challenged Alex, Maxi’s maitre d’.

Reminiscent in style of Boystown, which was screened at last year’s CIFF, Chef’s Special is by turns outrageous and moving, as Maxi learns to come to terms with the things that are really important in life. Javier Cámara, who turns in a stunning performance as Maxi, is someone to watch in Spanish cinema. First introduced to a US audience in the Pedro Almodovar film Talk to Her, he was the subject of a recent seven-film tribute at the Film Society of Lincoln Center. (In Spanish with English subtitles.)

women. In fact, Tala has her eye on Leyla, a shy British Muslim of Indian descent, who, to her family’s delight, is also engaged. Despite their growing passion for each other, the women’s families and their intolerant backgrounds keep coming between them. Initially withdrawn and bookish, Leyla is brought out of her shell by the independent-minded Tala. Ironically, it is Leyla who first comes out of the closet, which Tala is not yet ready to do. As Tala’s wedding day approaches and the pressure on her mounts, it gets harder for her to keep her secret. Writer-director Shamim Sharif has fashioned a gentle film with universal themes that also confronts ethnic attitudes toward homosexuality. It’s a romantic comedy with an erotic twist.

10% SHORTS PROGRAMS Lebanese Friday, March 20 at 7p Lebanese is a documentary that reveals how lesbians in Lebanon are finding acceptance within their families and society. Two women find just what they were looking for when they come together in The Thorny Rose. A young girl finally gets the answer to her question in the comic Babysitting Andy. Rope Burn is the story of one woman whose relationship antics have dramatic consequences. The dance of two wrestlers in a championship match that has even more at stake is the story featured in Wrestling. I Heart Veronica Martin finds a college girl trying to connect with the young woman of her dreams. A woman misses a date due to an unexpected fate in Late. Parental Guidance finds two youngsters trying to find their way in a complicated world. Pat’s First Kiss is the animated story of one young man’s unexpected first time experience.

Private Party Wednesday, March 25 at 9:40p Saturday, March 28 at 12a

I Can’t Think Straight (United Kingdom) Saturday, March 21 at 7:15p Monday, March 23 at 12p I Can’t Think Straight is a beautiful film that transports us to an upper-crust world of closeted lesbianism and newfound love. Carefree Tala is a Palestinian Christian living in London. Fabulously wealthy, her family is trying desperately to get her married. And, despite a series of broken engagements, she will soon wed. Still, her biggest problem seems to be that she’s secretly attracted to

Private Party is the story of one woman’s delightful change-of-heart. Two men struggle with the notion of love at first sight in Thirteen or So Minutes. The Window is a hilarious look at three men who share a common joy. A rebellious pair of lesbians is about to learn a valuable lesson in Don’t Mess with Texas. An animated tale of sexual discovery is featured in What I Found in Great Aunt Nell’s Closet. The lives of a group of very talented drag kings is covered in the documentary Me As He. In the Theme is a documentary featuring a Russian lesbian couple who share their anniversary and their experiences with the camera. Tranny McGuyver is a campy romp about a cop and her crew. a young woman’s love of books leads to an unexpected journey of self-discovery in Pages of a Girl.

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20 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

DEEP INSIDE HOLLYWOOD

by Romeo San Vicente

CHER AND KNOXVILLE DROP-OUT

MORETON WANTS YOU TO SAY HELLO TO STAN TALMADGE

Energizer-diva Cher has had on-screen romances with a variety of Hollywood players, from Nicolas Cage to Dennis Quaid to Jack Nicholson to Diana Scarwid. (Remember her playing lesbian in Silkwood? Sure you do.) Now she’s hooking up with John Waters’ favorite MTV personality, Johnny Knoxville, in the upcoming comedy The Drop-Out. The Jackass alum stars as a slacker and perpetual college student whose parents finally lose patience and throw him out of the house; Knoxville’s character winds up moving in with the cougar next door (Cher), whose own adult son is in desperate need of a role model. Both Cher and Knoxville have big gay followings (OK, yes, Cher’s is bigger than big) and enough tattoos between them to cover about one and a half people. Maybe they’ll actually have onscreen chemistry too. We’ll see when The Drop-Out reaches screens in 2010.

Director David Moreton is one gay director who won’t be pigeonholed; he made his screen debut with the moving coming-of-age tale Edge of Seventeen and then followed it up with the dark and violent Testosterone. But his upcoming comedy Say Hello to Stan Talmadge speeds off in a completely different direction - Gary Cole (Office Space) stars in the title role as a deadbeat dad who tries to mend his family ties by dragging his wife and kids cross-country in a mobile home (circa 1979) to compete in a game show. The supporting cast includes Jennifer Coolidge, Agnes Bruckner (Blue Car) and Tina Holmes (Six Feet Under), so it sounds like a winner. And if not a winner then maybe a not-bad Little Miss Sunshine remake. Stan Talmadge doesn’t have a release date, but should hit the festival circuit pretty soon. Stay tuned for buzz.

HOT GIRLS IN SCARY PLACES. SERIOUSLY.

GUARINO AND VARDALOS HATE VALENTINE’S DAY

It sounds like a lesbian exploitation flick, but it’s actually a new reality series: Hot Girls in Scary Places. As you might guess from the on-thenose title, this new show will send attractive young ladies into locations that have supposedly experienced some kind of paranormal disturbance. (Think The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini.

Or not.) The pilot for the show (airing March 13 on E!) will feature three USC cheerleaders spending the night in an abandoned - and allegedly haunted - hospital to compete for a $10,000 cash prize. Given the series’ all-sexychicks-all-the-time premise, it sounds like we have a new lesbian guilty pleasure coming to cable, just in time for the finale of The L Word. If the March broadcast draws big numbers, look for Hot Girls in Scary Places to become a permanent part of the E! schedule.

If you saw Confessions of a Shopaholic and were wondering why the receptionist looked so familiar, it’s because actor Stephen Guarino is one of the funny boys on Logo’s Big Gay Sketch Show.

And the up-and-comer’s landed a role in I Hate Valentine’s Day, the latest from My Big Fat Greek Wedding and Connie & Carla star Nia Vardalos, who makes her directorial debut. Vardalos plays a florist who wants to date a restaurateur (John Corbett, another Big Fat alum) without it turning into a serious relationship. In addition to Guarino, the movie features the very funny Judah Friedlander (30 Rock) as well as Dan Finnerty of culty guy-singing-girly-songs group The Dan Band. February may be over, but you may get to Hate Valentine’s Day before the year is up.

Romeo San Vicente actually likes Valentine’s Day, especially when he’s presented with a big package. Of candy. He can be reached care of this publication or at DeepInsideHollywood@qsyndicate.com.

ARTS

by Nancy Colvin

Death Is Not the End at the Columbus Museum of Art They’ve shared screen time with Brendan Frasier and Duane “The Rock” Johnson, and even met Abbott and Costello and Scooby Doo. Wrapped in gauze and surrounded in mystery, they’ve become the boogeymen of children’s dreams. You guessed it, mummies!

The mystique that surrounds mummies and Ancient Egyptian culture continues to intrigue and entice us even today, but what’s the real story? Is there a “curse of the mummy?” What about the Scorpion King?

Can the Book of the Dead really bring your lost love back to life to share eternity with you? Why did ancient Egyptians dedicate so much time and care to the afterlife? What were they preparing for? And really, are these enigmatic beings imbued with wondrous powers that not only allow them to wander the halls of museums late at night, but also bring to life their fellow museum dwellers a la Night at the Museum.

Join Nannette Maciejunes, curator of European art Dominique Vasseur, and educator for adult programs/film & AV specialist Jeff Sims for Mummy Myth Busters on Thursday, March 14 at 7p for an evening that will deMAR 04 - MAR 10 2009

bunk myths of ancient Egypt that have perpetuated through popular culture. After a mummy movie montage, our myth busters will answer all your mummy questions. Free with museum admission.

Mummy Myth Busters is being presented in conjunction with the Columbus Museum of Art’s showing of To Live Forever: Egyptian Treasures from the Brooklyn Museum, on view through June 7. Organized by the Brooklyn Museum, the exhibition features more than 100 works from their worldrenowned Egyptian art collection and illustrates the strategies and preparations ancient Egyptians developed to defeat death and achieve success in the afterlife.

“I can’t remember the last time there was an exhibition about Egypt in Columbus,” said Nannette V. Maciejunes, executive director of CMA. “That’s amazing when you think about it. After dinosaurs, it’s the second great obsession of childhood. Which one of us doesn’t remember learning about pyramids, mummies, and hieroglyphics? Egypt is the first great art culture we discover in school.”

To Live Forever explores the belief that

death was an enemy that could be vanquished, one of the primary cultural tenets of ancient Egyptian civilization. In order to survive in the next world, Egyptians would purchase, trade, or even reuse a variety of objects - statues, coffins, vessels, and jewelry, for example - that would protect them in the afterlife. The exhibition explains the process of mummification, the economics and rituals of memorials, the contents of the tomb, the funeral accessories - including the differentiation of objects used by upper, middle, and lower classes - and the idealized afterlife.

“This exhibition will be a rare and important treat for our audiences,” said Dominique H. Vasseur, CMA curator of European art. “Everyone loves the beauty, mystery, and power of ancient Egyptian art, which is as compelling for us as it was for the people for whom it was created thousands of years ago.”

The exhibition includes a vividly painted coffin of a Mayor of Thebes, the mummy and portrait of Demetrios, a wealthy citizen of Hawara, two dog mummies, stone sculpture and statues, amulets, canopic jars which

were used to store the body’s major organs, and ceramic vessels.

Admission to To Live Forever is $10 for adults; $8 for seniors 60+ and students 18+; $5 for children ages 6-17; and free for museum members and children 5 and younger.

Nancy Colvin is marketing and communications manager for the Columbus museum of Art (www.columbusmuseum.org), a member organization of the Columbus Arts Marketing Association. For more information, visit www.camaonline.org.

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MAR 04 - MAR 10 2009

22 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

Gallery Hop: Saturday, March 7th

With over 20 years of tradition, the Short North is renowned for its Gallery Hop. The first Saturday of every month, thousands of visitors converge on the strip, the epicenter of the High Street experience.

They come to celebrate art and partake in an evening of sights, sounds, food, shopping, and cosmopolitan fun. Though many shops are open earlier, the Gallery Hop officially starts at 4p and runs to 10p with restaurants and bars staying open considerably later.

On a typical Hop, over 40 galleries and non-traditional art venues (think restaurants, boutiques, and salons) spotlight the best of established and emerging Ohio-based artists. They also feature the works of nationally and internationally acclaimed artists. On

Sherrie Gallerie

Mahan Gallery

Sharon Weiss Gallery

Rebecca Ibel Gallery

Lindsay Gallery MAR 04 - MAR 10 2009

the streets, performers settle into the many nooks of the district to entertain the throngs of Short North fans. Saxophonists, singers, improvisational dance troupes, even stilt walkers and stage characters add to the unforgettable experience.

In July, the Short North celebrated its 275th consecutive Gallery Hop. In December, the Gallery Hop morphs into the incomparable Holiday Hop - the opening salvo of Columbus’ urban holiday season. Upwards of 20,000 visitors share an evening of pure energy under the brightly colored, ever-changing lights of the High Street arches.

The Gallery Hop is hosted by Columbus alive! and CD101, and supported by the CW on WWHO-TV, Outlook Weekly and The Columbus Dispatch.

The Art Exchange

Art + Home 745 N High St / 614.291.2787 www.artandhome.oh.com Exhibit Title: Watercolors by Lorraine Danzo and Laura Kramer Artist(s): Lorraine Danzo and Laura Kramer Art Media: Watercolors About the Exhibit: A refined collection of watercolors defined by ample color and unique perspectives.

Art Exchange, LTD, The 17 E Brickel St / 614.464.4611 Exhibit Title: Paintings and Monotypes Artist(s): Katherine Kadish Art Media: Paintings and Monotypes Artist Reception: Friday, March 27 About the Exhibit: The paintings and monotypes in this exhibition represent some of Katherine’s newest work, all of which employs color as the active ingredient.

Lindsay Gallery 986 N High St / 614.291.1973 Exhibit Title: New Works by Vivian Pitman Artist(s): Vivian Pitman Art Media: Paintings and sculpture Artist Reception: Friday, February 27 About the Exhibit: Sand paintings and doll sculpture.

Mahan Gallery 717 N High St / 614.294.3278 Exhibit Title: Noise Colored Party Artist(s): Ric Ocasek Art Media: drawing, painting, photography Artist Reception: Friday, March 06 About the Exhibit: “self-portraiture,” colorful, abstract, unconscious drawings

pm Gallery Rivet 1200 N High St / 614.294.8697 Exhibit Title: Illustrations and Paintings by Luke Feldman and Shannon Bonatakis Artist(s): Luke Feldman and Shannon Bonatakis Art Media: Various Artist Reception: Saturday, March 07 About the Exhibit: Opening reception 7-10p, Inspired by childhood experiences and a vivid imagination/highly stylized and emotionally charged portraiture ROY G BIV Gallery 997 N High St / 614.297.7694 Exhibit Title: ROY G BIV Gallery Presents the Work of Dominic Lippillo and Robert Mullenix Artist(s): Dominic Lippillo and Robert Mullenix Art Media: Photography, Painting Artist Reception: Saturday, March 07 About the Exhibit: Dominic Lippillo’s photographs of approaching storms investigate tensions between theatricality and authenticity in landscape imagery.

Robert Mullenix’s paintings of forestry explore the dual roles of landscape imagery as escapism and realism.

Marcia Evans Gallery 8 E Lincoln St / 614.298.8847 Exhibit Title: Third Anniversary Show Bar 23 Artist(s): Jane Heller, Jeny Reynolds, Doug Frates 584 N High St / 614.224.2323 Art Media: Acrylic paintings, multi-media works on Exhibit Title: Modern Pop Prints paper, watermedia, collage, and hand blown glass Artist(s): Jim Dine, Robert Longo, David Salle, Artist Reception: Friday, March 06 James Rosenquist About the Exhibit: Jane’s landscapes in multi-media Art Media: Limited Edition Prints works on paper & acrylics on canvas, Jeny’s abSharon Weiss Gallery About the Exhibit: Limited multiples from some of stract landscapes in watermedia & collage, Doug’s 20 E Lincoln St / 614.291.5683 the most influential artists in the last forty years. unique hand blown glass. www.sharonweissgallery.com Exhibit Title: Scenes From New Orleans Echoes Art & Antiques Palnik Studios Artist(s): Linda Langhorst 24 E Lincoln St / 614.291.9101 14 E Lincoln St / 614.298.8496 Art Media: Oil paint Exhibit Title: Smoky Brown Exhibit Title: The Clown and the Sage: The CarArtist Reception: Friday, March 06 Artist(s): Grandma Smoky Brown toon Art of Paul Palnik About the Exhibit: 10% of sales will be split evenly Art Media: Acrylic on Board / Canvas Artist(s): Paul Palnik to support America’s Wetland Foundation (wetland About the Exhibit: Collection of original pieces from Art Media: cartoon restoration) and Musician’s Village (home rebuildprivate collections all for sale. His pieces have been Artist Reception: Saturday, March 07 ing) favorites at the last three Art For Life events affili- About the Exhibit: Original drawings, paintings, ated with the Columbus Museum of Art. prints and books.

Sherrie Gallerie 694 N High St / 614.221.8580 Kathryn Gallery phia salon www.sherriegallerie.com 642 N High St / 614.222.6801 771-A North High St / 614.545.7100 Exhibit Title: Remembering to Remember kathryngallery.com www.phiasalon.com Artist(s): Julie Elkins Exhibit Title: Selections From Ron Johnson and Exhibit Title: playing with light Art Media: porcelain Ramon Pujol Artist(s): Shawn Seiser Artist Reception: Saturday, March 07 Artist(s): Ron Johnson and Ramon Pujol Art Media: Photographs About the Exhibit: Julie meticulously builds isolated Art Media: oil on canvas Artist Reception: Saturday, March 07 porcelain worlds embodying the beauty and sadAbout the Exhibit: Original oil paintings of unique About the Exhibit: a photographic study in minimal- ness of overlooked places where there are decaying essence. ism through the use of color, light and subject. The reminders of human presence, and you can feel the collection is intermittently interrupted with pops of haunting reality of the passing of time. high contrast to keep things interesting.

OUTLOOK WEEKLY •

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CLASSIFIEDS COMMERCIAL REAL ESTATE

HOUSING/FOR RENT

HISTORIC FRANKLINTON Retail or office space available. Over 3,000 sq feet right on Broad St. Get your business or office on the ground floor of the next “hottest” area in town. Get in while the prices are low! Call 614.390.6369 and leave a message.

BRYDEN ROAD HUGE, sunny, luxury 2+ bdrm, 2 bath townhse w/attic and bsmnt. Ref HWF, CA, DW, Sec. Syst, new high eff. furnace, custom kitchen w/pantry, 1st floor laundry. $1,000 + sec. dep. Call 202.360.7790.

HELP WANTED UNEMPLOYED? UNDEREMPLOYED? Do you routinely scan the classifieds? Are physical, emotional, or mental health issues or handicaps causing you roadblocks to successful and satisfying employment?

Vision & Vocational Services and Outlook Weekly are partnering to provide free needs assessment. Call Rebecca Melton or Toi VanHorn at 614.294.5571 and mention this ad. You can Accomplish Anything - Outlook Media and Vision & Vocational Services are committed to helping you do so.

MERION VILLAGE AREA Cute 1-Bedroom apartment.

638 E Jenkins. 1 BR apartment with everything! Clean, new paint, ceiling fans, AC, washer/dryer unit, dishwasher, appliances. $350/month. Josh Martin.

614.657.2366 or 614.446.0106.

OLDE TOWNE EAST 1096 & 1104 Bryden Rd, 1 BR apartments available, new kitchen, wd flrs, vaulted ceiling, $450/mo. More OTE rentals available. Call Beacon Property Mgmt. at 614.228.6700.

MAR 04 - MAR 10 2009

24 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

MAR 04 - MAR 10 2009

OUTLOOK WEEKLY •

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SAVAGE LOVE

by Dan Savage

My boyfriend of 16 months and I have a great relationship. He loves my blowjobs, but he will not kiss me if I have his come in my mouth.

It grosses him out. We have talked about this, and he won’t even try. I have no problem if he kisses me after going down on me. I just want him to try. Is there something wrong with asking him to taste himself? I do it all the time and love it.

Missing Kisses It’s funny your question - with its hint of gay panic - should arrive today. I’ve been on vacation with the family all week snowboarding in beautiful British Columbia, and what I enjoy most - besides the snowboarding and the half-naked, fully stoned Australian snowboard instructors lolling around in hot tubs at the end of the day - is watching the straight boys who refuse to sit four to a chairlift. They want to ride up alone or ride up two at a time on a four-seater with two empty seats between ’em. They seem to think gayness can be contracted through thigh-to-thigh contact.

Which it can.

Now, MK, there’s kissing someone with your come on her breath and then there’s kissing someone with your come in her mouth. It sounds like you’re interested in the latter, which makes it sound like you’re interested in passing some of your boyfriend’s load into his mouth - i.e., snowballing - and not simply being rewarded with a kiss, his come on your breath, for a blowjob welldone. And that’s an entirely different wad of spunk.

Just because you enjoy tasting yourself on his lips, doesn’t mean your boyfriend will enjoy or should have to enjoy mouthing his own load.

First, there’s a significant difference in volume and consistency between you kissing his glazed lips and him eating his own spunk. And then there’s this: After a woman comes, MK, she’s still in a groove, still capable of more orgasms, still

cranked up. After ejaculating, a man is essentially uncranked. He’s not capable of another orgasm (not right away, anyway) - he’s been knocked out of his groove. So even if the idea of snowballing appeals to a man as you’re blowing him, it might not hold the same appeal the moment after he comes.

Some men are afraid of tasting their own come because they believe that doing so, like sitting too close on a chairlift, can turn a guy gay. And it’s not an unreasonable fear: not because it will turn a guy gay, but because, judging from my mail, a lot of women are convinced that any man who would taste his own come must secretly be gay.

It’s possible that your boyfriend is dying to taste himself, MK, but, like the boys on the chairlifts, is afraid of getting a reputation if he goes ahead with this and you blab about it to your friends.

I am at a heavy-metal show at a dive bar as I write this. There are tons of guys I consider hot here, 98 percent of whom, I’m sure, are straight. But I got a vibe off this one guy. This is such a macho environment, though, that there’s a considerable amount of danger in asking the question, “So, you gay?”

I remember an episode of Law and Order where Jerry Orbach tried to determine if a suspect was in AA by asking a secret question.

Something like, “Are you a friend of Bill W.?”

The idea was that the question was innocuous if you weren’t in AA. Since you are the king of “santorum” and “pegging” and “saddlebacking,” I thought maybe you could invent a secret question for masculine gay men in masculine environments.

Something like, “Hey, do you like to barbecue?” So how ’bout it? Can you declare the official secret are-you-a-masculine-gay-guy question?

MACHO, was this: “A Little Night Music - original Broadway cast recording or original London cast?” But that line will get your ass kicked in a lot of gay bars - as I know from bitter experience.

So let’s toss this out to my readers, the folks who came up with the definitions for “santorum,” “pegging,” and “saddlebacking”: Okay, gang, we’re looking for an innocuous question that (1) all fags everywhere would know the answer to but (2) no straight guys anywhere would. My longsuffering interns - their uniforms chafe - await your suggested questions at mail@savagelove.net.

I had to refrain from opening this with “Hey, Asshole!” (oops, guess I kind of just did) after reading your advice to Sex Best One On One, the woman who married a man who warned her that he could not be monogamous and who then realized she couldn’t share him. While I agree with your assessment of SBOOO’s husband - up-front, honest - your assessment of SBOOO is obviously influenced by your need to have a good rant at polyamory-unfriendly marriage counselors, family, friends, and the world at large. SBOOO does not have to apologize for who she is (not as willing to do long-term nonmonogamy as previously thought) to elitist, more-liberated-than-thou jerk-offs (hint: you!) after giving it a good fucking try (12 times!).

Pun intended.

Loving Toronto Reader I am a polyamorist. I am always up-front with my partners about this, especially if I want to get serious with them. So many people seem to say that they are fine with it out of some kind of misguided assumption that they can eventually change my mind. You know, “Polyamory isn’t real; it’s just a phase!” You know, like being gay.

Men Are Cute Hot Objects The best I could come up with on my own,

I just wanted to say thank you for your reply to SBOOO! I couldn’t have said it better myself.

That was an absolutely fantastic response. Just like you said, counselors (and for that matter, family members) always see the polyamorist as the bad guy, unreasonably refusing to take the simple easy route of strict monogamy. It was really nice to finally have someone stand up for us. Thank you!

While I’m sure you enjoy positive feedback, saying thank you is cheap. A lot of times you plug various charities and causes in your column, is there any group you’d like me to donate to as a more concrete symbol of my appreciation?

Longtime Fan Some folks think I was too hard on SBOOO, some think I was just hard enough. Like I said in my original response, I intentionally came down hard on SBOOO to compensate for the vast and overwhelming majority of advice professionals who would, per LF, side aggressively with her because a nonmonogamous partner - even an honest one like SBOOO’s mate - is always perceived as the bad guy.

For the record: I am not biased toward nonmonogamy. But I do think monogamous people should be with each other and should refrain from marrying folks who are self-aware enough to inform them in advance that they don’t think they’re capable of being monogamous.

Some folks who wrote in about my advice for SBOOO raised a good point: I should have come down on the husband as well. If nonmonogamy was a deal breaker for him, then he was a fool to marry SBOOO before verifying her ability to be nonmonogamous. Agreed. So, for the record: SBOOO’s husband? You’re an idiot, too.

Finally, LF, I’m always happy to see money go to Planned Parenthood.

Download the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage. mail@savagelove.net

MAR 04 - MAR 10 2009

26 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

ABOUT TOWN

by Adam Leddy

Raconteur Theatre Is At It Again with Isaac, I Am

Photos courtesy of Sam Blythe Actors from left to right: Zac Lape as Josh, Lorelei Moore as Angela, Sela Williams as Katie

Mary Steelsmith’s Isaac, I Am is the at times harrowing story of a woman who grows increasingly disconnected from the “real” world as she is seduced by online chat rooms and the (seemingly) harmless interactions they offer. Angela (Lorelei Moore) is a safety expert whose increasing identification with her online persona, “sqeetangel,” is just one of many barriers she has erected between herself and a troubled past. The play follows Angela from her initial, naïve chat room forays into mutually symbiotic relationships with a cast of characters whose true motives go far beyond simple social networking.

Moore is solid as the lead, and her quietly competent performance guides the piece to its somewhat overwrought conclusion. Her Angela is repressed but still accessible, and we relate to her longing to make peace with the real world and its myriad dangers. The supporting cast is equally capable, with Dublin Coffman student Sela R. Williams

giving a standout performance as Katie, the troubled and mysterious thirteen-year-old daughter of the titular Isaac, ably played by Stephen Woosley.

Scenic designer Michael Brewer and the design team keep it simple, and Angela’s online world loses nothing in its transition to the stage. Director Mary-Aileen St. Cyr makes the most of her space, always bringing Angela out from behind her laptop at just the right moment, yet knowing when to let the action simply envelop her lead performer.

Isaac, I Am reminds us that sometimes the worlds we create for ourselves are much scarier than anything the real world can throw at us. See it for yourself at MadLab Theatre, 105 N Grant Ave, thru March 14.

Shows are Thursdays-Saturdays at 8p and Sundays at 2p. Tix $12 for adults, $8 for students/seniors. More info at http://raconteurtheatre.com.

He’s Baaack…

With 37 events including 12 Olympic sports, the 2009 Arnold Sports Festival presents fitness and fun for all ages March 6-8. Since its beginning in 1989 as the Arnold Classic - a one-day professional men’s bodybuilding competition the now three-day event has grown into the world’s largest multi-sport fitness weekend.

More than 170,000 sports fans are expected to watch 17,000 athletes compete in a variety of sports at four premier venues: the Greater Columbus Convention Center, Franklin County Veterans Memorial, the Ohio Expo Center, and Nationwide Arena. At the heart of the festival is the three-day Arnold Fitness EXPO, which features 700 fitness-related booths and ongoing stage entertainment.

Many Arnold Sports Festival participants are youth competing in archery, boxing, cheerleading and dance, dancesport, gymnastics, fencing, martial arts, table tennis, weightlifting and wrestling. Top student athletes have a chance to win one of nine $2,000 college scholarships presented by the Columbus Rotary.

The Arnold Sports Festival is a proving ground for many aspiring athletes. Former Olympians and Olympic hopefuls will appear or compete in 12 Olympic sports, including archery, boxing, fencing, gymnastics, judo, karate, race walking, running, table tennis, tae kwon do, weightlifting, and wrestling.

“For a $10 daily EXPO ticket, you can see more world class sporting events than anywhere else,” co-producer Jim Lorimer said. “Bring the entire family; there is something for everyone.”

Tickets are available through Ticketmaster, www.ticketmaster.com/arnold or 800.745.3000. Expo tickets are $10/person/day and are good for all events at the Columbus Convention Center Friday- Sunday, Nationwide Arena Sunday for wrestling and the Ohio Expo Center/Lausche Building Friday for archery. Amateur fitness, figure and bikini tickets for Thursday night’s competitions are $25 and the amateur bodybuilding ticket for Friday is $25. Finals are included in the Saturday’s $10 Expo ticket.

Tickets to Party with the Pros Saturday evening are $25. The $350 VIP package includes reserved seating for the professional men’s and women’s finals events for Friday and Saturday evening, men’s prejudging Saturday afternoon, three Expo tickets (one for each day), the Arnold Training Seminar, amateur events on Thursday and Friday, and Party with the Pros.

COLUMBUS NEXT MEETING: MAR 11, 6P-8P; LOCATION: SHERMAN OAK CONDOS (143 SHERMAN AVE, OLD TOWNE EAST); COLUMBUS COMPACT EVENT • WWW.NETWORKCOLUMBUS.COM

MAR 04 - MAR 10 2009

OUTLOOK WEEKLY •

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27

THE LAST WORD

by Janyce Katz

GLBT Teens Need to Know Signs of Abuse A majority of teens know someone in an abusive dating relationship. The problem is that many of the people in abuse relationships don’t realize that they deserve to be treated better.

Often the abusers are charming and popular, resulting in peer pressure that may make it even more difficult for the abused teen to end an abusive relationship.

According to a survey released in 2008 by Teenage Research Unlimited, one in five 13or 14-year-olds say that they know friends and peers who have been “struck in anger” by a boyfriend or girlfriend. Sixty-two percent have friends who have been called “stupid,” “worthless” or “ugly” by their dates.

Despite the number of teens & tweens who say they’ve experienced abuse or know someone who has, only about 51% say that they are aware of the warning signs of hurt-

ful dating relationships. And only slightly more than half say they would know what to do if a friend came to them for help.

What has been called a “national epidemic of teen dating abuse” infects the gay as well as the straight teen dating scene.

Gay, lesbian, and transgender teens may not have admitted their sexual orientation publicly. Rather than publicly “out” themselves, they may keep their dating relationships very private. If the relationship turns abusive, they may not know to whom they can go to safely discuss their problems.

All teens need to be educated about the signs of an abusive relationship.

Signs of abuse can be as simple as lack of respect: putting down the partner, being hypercritical, being controlling, making all the decisions, trying to isolate the partner from other friends or from family, trying to

control what the partner wears, being extremely jealous or having other partners when a relationship is supposed to be exclusive.

Even clearer signs of abuse are physical violence, the unwillingness to hear the words “no” or “enough” or “stop” in relationship to sex or any physical roughhousing. Excessive alcohol consumption does not excuse such behavior.

The National Council of Jewish Women, Columbus Section (NCJW) launched Love Shouldn’t Hurt in 2007. This program is designed to help all teens know the danger signs of an abusive relationship and to have the courage to end such a relationship if they are in one. NCJW has taken the project one step further, to the state level.

Recently, Attorney General Richard Cordray put his support behind two bills that

are supposed to help protect teens from abusive relationships. Cordray backed a proposal by Rep. Sandra Stabile Harwood, DNiles, that would mandate education on dating violence in health classes. He also endorsed a bill by Rep. Edna Brown, DToledo, that would authorize juvenile-court judges to issue protection orders against juveniles.

If you would like more information about Love Shouldn’t Hurt, want to volunteer for the program or would like to schedule a presentation, call 614.231.9241.

If you are in an abusive relationship and need immediate assistance, call the National Teen Dating Abuse 24/7 Helpline, 866.331.9474, a confidential, toll-free hotline, or go to www.loveisrespect.org.

HOROSCOPES

by Jack Fertig

PISCES (February 19 - March 19): Budget a little money for impulse spending, but when you see that gottahave item, ask yourself what does it represent that you really want deep down and think you can’t have? And think about how maybe you can!

GEMINI (May 21- June 20): Your head is way too busy. Career plans feel nebulous; just keep putting one foot in front of the other. (Which way is front?)

Some simple physical fun with a friend, or a few, will help you regain focus and direction.

VIRGO (August 23 - September 22): Feeling good about your body helps improve your health. Sex is good, but authentic physical affection is better.

Take time for some loving. If single, get your hugs and kisses where you can. It could lead to something more!

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 20): You’re a natural born storyteller, so try to collect and relate what you can of your community or family history. Use whatever talents you have to make it an artistic, creative project.

ARIES (March 20 - April 19): There is such a thing as too much time with your friends, or perhaps it’s the wrong friends. Take some time alone to center yourself and choose more carefully the people you do spend time with.

CANCER (June 21- July 22): Erotic opportunities are throwing themselves at you. It’s time to get wild and experiment! If partnered, see what you can coax your baby into or open yourself to being coaxed. Flirtations at work can help build useful connections.

LIBRA (September 23 - October 22): Exercising with others - whether running, swimming with pals or brushing up on techniques at work - will be good for the morale and creative juices of all involved. It can also improve your partnership, or help lead to one!

CAPRICORN (December 21 - January 19): Speak your mind. It will seem to cause some confusion and ruckus, but that misunderstanding is already present and needs airing to get everyone really on the same page. Logic is not your friend now. Work the emotional, poetic perspectives.

TAURUS (April 20 - May 20): Obsessing on your career is counter-productive. Step back, meditate, take some time alone to decide on where you’d like to be in 10 or 20 years and talk with friends on how you’d like to get there.

LEO (July 23 - August 22): Nothing is perfect; wanting an ideal partnership can leave you frustrated. What’s good in what you have? Some adventure, in and out of bed, can liven things up.

Speak frankly about what you want; and listen as well!

SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21): Plan A: Approach your family (natal or chosen) playfully and try to involve then in some game or entertainment. Plan B: Having fun on your own will put you in a better frame of mind to handle contentious relatives or roommates.

AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18): Worries about money reflect deeper insecurities. You’re going through a lot of personal changes lately and need clarification. Have a sisterly chat with someone you can count on to be brutally honest.

Jack Fertig, a professional astrologer since 1977, is a founding member of the Association for Astrological Networking. He can be reached for consultations at 415.864.8302, www.starjack.com, and by e-mail at QScopes@qsyndicate.com.

MAR 04 - MAR 10 2009