www. outserve m ag .c o m
S E P T E MBER 2011
the repeal issue
THE summit
FACES OF COURAGE Proud to serve:
a photo + multi-media essay by jo ann santangelo
the chapters CONUS
OutServe has over 4,200 members in 48 chapters worldwide. Here are the chapter locations and e-mail addresses for chapter leaders.
Have trouble contacting a chapter? E-mail: outserve@outserve.org We’ll forward your request via our network. 2 OutServeMag.com
September
Service Academies Alabama Arizona Arkansas California (South) California (North) Colorado Florida Georgia Idaho Illinois Indiana Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Michigan Mississippi Missouri Nebraska Nevada New England New Mexico North Carolina North Dakota New York City/NJ/EaPA Ohio Oklahoma South Carolina Texas Virginia Washington D.C. Washington State
OCONUS Afghanistan-Iraq Africa Alaska Cuba Bahrain/Saudi Arabia/ Qatar/UAE Cuba Diego Garcia Germany Guam Hawaii Italy Japan Korea Kuwait 2011 United Kingdom
academies@outserve.org alabama@outserve.org arizona@outserve.org arkansas@outserve.org scalifornia@outserve.org ncalifornia@outserve.org colorado@outserve.org florida@outserve.org georgia@outserve.org idaho@outserve.org illinois@outerve.org indiana@outserve.org kansas@outserve.org kentucky@outserve.org louisiana@outserve.org michigan@outserve.org mississippi@outserve.org missouri@outserve.org nebraska@outserve.org nevada@outserve.org newengland@outserve.org newmexico@outserve.org northcarolina@outserve.org northdakota@outserve.org nyregion@outserve.org ohio@outserve.org oklahoma@outserve.org southcarolina@outserve.org texas@outserve.org virginia@outserve.org washingtondc@outserve.org washington@outserve.org
afghanistaniraq@outserve.org africa@outserve.org alaska@outserve.org cuba@outserve.org middleeast@outserve.org cuba@outserve.org diegogarcia@outserve.org germany@outserve.org guam@outserve.org hawaii@outserve.org italy@outserve.org japan@outserve.org korea@outserve.org kuwait@outserve.org unitedkingdom@outserve.org
your voice We shared our stories with you, hoping they would make an impact ... hoping some would find reassurance and a sense of community in our shared experiences. We didn’t consider that in some ways, much of the impact would be on ourselves — you shared back.
the identity issue him. I desperately hoped that he would not be here to support his new boyfriend. Not tonight. Not when the pressure of a championship meet was already eroding my confidence. I just knew that if I saw him, I would go into an emotional panic and lose complete focus, and subsequently, every race.
OUTSERVE
He never even said hello. Notable accomplishments were almost always just out of reach. With most of my time spent in class and in the dorm, my introverted persona often had more of an opportunity to grow further into itself than my outgoing personality on the track. This one experience, this one instant, changed me forever. That night, I found resolve and discovered that perseverance and heart bears its own sweet fruit. I discovered that no matter how much we hurt or how deep the emotional scars pierce our being, we can turn that emotion and those negative experiences into fuel – fuel to power through the obstacles that are before us and prove, to ourselves and to those who have hurt us, that their betrayal does not define us.
“ I was overcome by
that feeling one has just
before waking from a dream in
I did a few sprints around the track and meditated on his absence. The referee blew the warning whistle, and all the competitors walked to the starting line. As I bounced toward the starting line, I began to regain confidence. I glanced momentarily into the stands to my right. He was not there. My self-assurance grew. I scanned the crowd in the bleachers to my left. I scanned for his all too familiar bushy eyebrows and electrifying smile. He was not there. I was ready.
which you are falling – except, I
CONQUErING YOU Written by J. G.
C
arrying a log in full combat gear, treading water with a rifle in both hands, or marching in a dress uniform in the middle of summer had never appealed to me, but as I scrolled through the United States Naval Academy’s website during my junior year of high school, suddenly, it seemed fun. My initial response to the school was cynical disbelief, closely followed by awe, and finally settling on an unyielding desire to become a part of everything I was observing. From my mother’s desktop computer in the kitchen of our quiet home in the small country town of pineville, Louisiana, I saw the path to Bancroft Hall begin to take shape. I knew the journey would be long, difficult, and replete with emotional hurdles, but the financial relief and prestige afforded by that institution demanded my attendance. Through the application and acceptance process, even during my first two years of study, one thought always penetrated even my most concrete focus: you are gay; you do not belong here. In no way, shape, or form could I persuade myself that I belonged to the institution that I had given countless hours of sweat and effort. There were only a few others like me, and by military law, even my existence was forbidden. On the surface, some may think that this is a minor thing, that one does not need acceptance or approval for success. That may be true… for them. The lingering fear that my homosexuality would be discovered and result in my expulsion and mother’s shame forced me to keep to myself. Living, marching, eating, drilling, and studying with 130 company mates daily made my reclusive attitude difficult to maintain, but when driven by fear, the impossible is possible. Generally an alpha personality, this introspective phenomenon was strange to me, and the Naval Academy is not the place for people who are afraid to take charge. My introversion secured my exclusion from company-mates, from deep lasting friendships, and from academic success. An arduous academic curriculum topped with military pomp and circumstance before, during, and after class can only be surmounted with the help of your company-mates. The company unit is a microcosm within the greater Naval Academy world,
20 OUTSERVE.org
JUNE 2011
in that you are not only affected by the influence of the Institution, but you are also vulnerable to the ebb and flow of leadership personalities within the company as well. My cascading disappearance of self within school walls was counterbalanced, however, by my vibrant personality and escalating ability on the track and field team. I made my fondest memories, closest friends, and strongest supporters on the track. It was as if two worlds existed; the militant and abrasive environment inside Bancroft Hall, and the free, expressive atmosphere of intercollegiate sports. I adapted to each as best I could. When I pounded on that red turf and thrust my fists in the air, I felt as if I belonged. I would think… this track…this school…this is mine. I am where I need to be. I never remotely approached that emotion while running military drills or sitting through a physics/chemistry/electrical engineering class. Track and field was my lifeline. running track facilitated my academic survival, and one specific experience cemented my assimilation into the realm of those who belong. It was the winter of my sophomore year. Indoor track had left me with a torn hamstring, left foot stress fracture, and relentless shin splints, all of which I managed to recover from in time for our championship indoor meet. The most senior sprinter on the squad, I was scheduled to run the 200m, 400m and 4x400m races. I had one of the first races of the meet, so as soon as my team arrived at the stadium, I began my warm-up. I listened to my ipod and routinely shuffled through the bass-laden songs to keep my intensity high. Although no different than any other warm-up, this one would forge itself in my memory. Then, like lightning striking a piano cord, these lyrics bolted through my body, heading directly toward my heart: “It’s like I can’t breathe. It’s like I can’t see anything, nothing but you. I’m addicted to you. It’s like I can’t think, without you interrupting me. In my thoughts, in my dreams, you’re taking over me.” Still processing a recent break-up and teammate betrayal, Kelly Clarkson’s “Addicted” spoke too closely to my reaction over a lost love. Suddenly, my heart clenched, the stadium vanished, and I was left alone with thoughts of
was conscious.”
I remember we had dated for eight months. He was athletic, intelligent, caring, cultured and much more, so when he told me he didn’t feel the same about me, I was devastated. I understood there were strains on our relationship; he didn’t have any guy friends in whom he could confide. I was never certain that I wanted a boyfriend, and we were both academy students - that alone was a recipe for disaster. I recognized the difficulties in our relationship, yet the prospect of enduring the academy without him hurt. And just when I thought the pain could not get any worse, he told me he had been talking to my teammate about our problems, that my teammate was his confidante and friend, and not too long after our breakup, my teammate became his boyfriend. I was overcome by that feeling one has just before waking from a dream in which you are falling – except, I was conscious. His revelation placed me in physical pain. Desolate, betrayed and alone were the only emotions I managed to identify.
That night, a sense of invincibility permeated the air. Mountains were not so tall, the ocean wasn’t so vast, and the moon and stars were just within arms reach. For a brief moment, I was the best. I was where I was meant to be … and most importantly, I belonged. J.G. is a columnist for OutServe Magazine. He is a graduate of the United States Naval Academy and has been serving on active duty since 2006. To respond to J.G.’s article, e-mail him at green@outserve.org
But all that was behind me now. I walked toward my blocks with an uncontainable air of assurance. I kneeled inside my blocks. I was ready for this. I foolishly glanced up again to the bleacher on my right and my heart sank. He was there… watching me. Our eyes met, and the eight months with - and year without - him flashed through my mind… I savored each emotion I felt: joy, confusion, doubt, sadness, anger, and my last, rage. How could he come to my meet after breaking my heart, and of all things, to support that awful excuse for a teammate? The apparent disregard for how his presence might affect me hurt. It was a cruel slap in the face, intentional or not. Normally, I am a calm and practical person, but I knew that his attendance would either enhance or significantly hinder my performance in this championship meet. I made the decision to allow sadness in my heart, but only as a fuel for the rage I needed to annihilate the competition. When the referee fired the gun, I bolted from my starting blocks, quickly picked up speed, lifting my knees higher and higher, and extending my legs further and further. I felt his eyes bear into my skin. Every step I took was like a jab to the heart, knowing that once the race was finished, I would lose him again - his attention, and for the brief moment that I had it, his heart. I couldn’t lose. I refused. Emotionally broken, I ran as if maybe, just maybe, my victory would result in something more valuable than a firstplace finish: a second chance. I won the 400m for the first time in my career. I continued to feed on that same dejection which led to a victory in the 200m and 4x400m races as well. At the end of the meet, I was named Most Valuable player for Track.
PHOTO COURTESY OF: navy.mil
JUNE 2011
OUTSERVE 21
the identity issue
OUTSERVE
Reason to Live My wife is home in California with my two beautiful twin children. My family is healthy and my children are two happy four-and-a-half year-olds. We live in base housing and also own a home in North Carolina with a tenant who pays the rent on time and takes good care of our house. Our only debt is good debt: a mortgage, student loans, and one car payment. At work, I command a Marine rifle company. My company has 187 infantry Marines who are well trained, well prepared, and ready to fight for their country and their Corps. I’m forward deployed, I’m pME complete, and I am almost halfway to retirement. I regularly think of committing suicide. 16 OUTSERVE.org
JUNE 2011
JUNE 2011
OUTSERVE 17
Visit our website to leave your comments and questions — your thoughts might end up here in the next issue! September 2011 ∫ OutServeMag.com
3
editor’s corner l JONATHAN MILLS & EDDY SWEENEY
Well, the day we have all been waiting
for
is
finally
upon
us.
When we started this magazine back in March of this year, our main goal was to be a source of outreach and support for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender troops in the military — a group that often feels like there is no one to turn to in times of need. We both knew when we started this magazine that we were just the latest two people among a long line of fellow patriots who have blazed a Jonathan Mills Executive Editor
path before us. Throughout the tumultuous year of 2010, when it seemed like DADT would never come up for a full vote in the United States Senate, we would often console one another with the hope that one day, we would be able to tell our stories without shame, fear, and most importantly, discharge. When the law finally passed, like everyone else, we were elated — but we both knew that our work was only just beginning. There were far too many stories to tell; stories of soldiers sent off to war, knowing full-well that their loved ones back at home would receive little support, stories of combat-hardened leaders on their second, third, and sometimes fourth deployment who wanted nothing more but to serve their country openly, without sacrificing their integrity. Duty, honor, courage … these are universal ideals that drive any soldier, sailor, airman, Marine, or Coastguard, regardless of their sexual orientation. Outgoing Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Admiral Mike Mullen, summed up these
Eddy Sweeney Managing Editor
sentiments best, when testifying before Congress: “We have in place a policy, which forces young men and women to lie about who they are in order to defend their fellow citizens. For me, personally, it comes down to integrity.” … a simple statement, which has had a powerful, moving impact on all those who have served and continue to serve. We’d like to open this issue with some words we received from a reader who served in the military prior to DADT — one who, unfortunately, never got to serve openly, but whose love for this country is plainly obvious: “We have forbearers. A path was blazed before us. And we have true martyrs. People died in this war, some in body and some in spirit — I don’t know which is worse. Imagine, for just a moment, the old men and women who lived in shame for decades after receiving disgraceful discharges, and who then took the pain of their truths to the nation’s capital city and demanded that justice be done. They started you on your path. You owe them a great, great debt.” While we could never possibly repay them for all they’ve sacrificed, we will honor those sacrifices — through each story, voice, and heart. Jonathan Mills & Eddy Sweeney, Editors
4 OutServeMag.com
September 2011
PHOTO: Simon Howden
Dear Readers:
SEPTEMBER 2011
VOL. 1 NO. 3
OutServe Leadership Co-director Co-director DC Operations/Spokesperson Service Academies/Spokesperson Media Operations
Josh Seefried (J.D. Smith) Ty Walrod Jonathan Hopkins Katie Miller Sue Fulton
OutServe Magazine Executive Editor Managing Editor Design Director Head of Advertising Social Media Head of Distribution Contributor Contributor Contributor Contributor Contributor
Jonathan Mills Eddy Sweeney Angelina Leger Grayson Young Caleb Sutton, John Tegeler William Britton Jamar Green Kody Parsons Katie Miller Karl Johnson David Small
Editorial Board Jonathan Mills Eddy Sweeney Angelina Leger Dr. Nathaniel Frank M. S. David Small
Subscribe
DIGITAL MAGAZINE visit http://outservemag.com/the-mag and sign up for our digital magazine — also available for mobile devices! PRINT MAGAZINE Individuals: Visit http://outservemag.com/the-mag and subscribe to have a print version mailed directly to you. Unit Leadership: E-mail distribution@outserve.org with your unit’s mailing address, and we’ll send bulk issues — absolutely free! FOLLOW US:
facebook.com/outserve facebook.com/outservemag
@OutServeUS @OutServeMag
OutServe Magazine is an initiative founded and operated solely by non-Department of Defense affiliates. While Magazine content is managed primarily by actively serving military professionals, the articles, advertisements, and artwork in this publication do not reflect the opinions or official position of the Department of Defense or the United States Government. ISSN 2161-3370 (Print version) ISSN 2161-3389 (Online version)
CONTENTS SEPTEMBER 2011
VOL. 1 NO. 3
“I was like most Americans who were not in the military; I didn’t think, DADT was ‘wrong’. I assumed people didn’t ask, and you didn’t tell. That night, I went home and looked up gays in the military. The numbers shocked me.” – Jo Ann Santangelo
COURAGE
7
ASK SARGE Need advice? Sarge is here to tackle those tough issues.
PROUD TO SERVE PAGE 16
“I could feel the sweat starting to pour down the nape of my back. The room, which a moment earlier was fairly cool, became almost stiflingly hot.” - Eddy Sweeney
PAGE 12
THE SUMMIT OutServe hosts first Armed Forces Leadership Summit.
10
OUR TIME Our Time: Breaking the silence of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell: the new book by co-director Josh Seefried.
12
Kate Clinton Interview with the awardwinning comedienne, LGBT activist, and guest-star on the television series The L Word.
COURAGE An intelligence officer finds courage — in a ring.
16
PAGE 37
101
PAGE 29
FACES OF COURAGE
On the Cover: Captain Anthony “Tony” Woods, Photograph by Jo Ann Santangelo/Redux Images 6 OutServeMag.com
8
September 2011
PROUD TO SERVE Jo Ann Santangelo’s portrait essay & multimedia piece featuring LGBT veterans discharged under DADT.
29
101 FACES OF COURAGE Who we are.
37
TALKING WITH KATE A conversation with ‘Lady HAHA’
ask Sarge Dear OutServe Magazine Reader, I have served in the United States Air Force as a Mental Health Technician for the past four years, and I have worked as a substance abuse counselor for the better part of the last two years. Recently, I was forward-deployed to Afghanistan, where I operated a Combat Stress Clinic. Experience has shown me that most of the people who come into a Mental Health or Combat Stress Clinic do not suffer from a mental disorder, but simply need to be reminded about the basic fundamentals of life, like problems sleeping, communication issues, and adjusting to the military lifestyle. There are many other unique problems out there, and I would love the opportunity to help address them. Visit my facebook page at www.facebook.com/ dearsergeant and post a question that you’d like to see answered here. Sincerely,
Sergeant Dear Sergeant, I am in a same-sex relationship right now and I have just received orders to Texas. My main issue is that I am in love with the girl that I am with, and when it becomes legal to marry, I plan to. With the repeal of DADT, should I have her move with me? I mean, its hard enough now to bring her around people I work with because everyone sees that we are together – more than a typical friendship – but I just want her to be a part of all of my life – not half of it. – Conflicted Lover Dear Conflicted Lover, First of all, I would like to wish you the best of luck on your new assignment. While moving can be a stressful experience, try to look at this as a new chapter in your life. Embrace this change and make the most if it. As for the situation with your girlfriend, it is my firm belief that we will do whatever is necessary to stay with those we love. While, as service members, the Defense of Marriage Act prevents our being able to receive the traditional benefits that come along with marriage – such as housing and joint assignments – the repeal should allow you and your girlfriend the ability to live your lives together, without fear. Talk to her about your current situation and see what her thoughts are. It is fantastic that you are concerned about both of your lifestyles, her happiness, and her willingness to move to Texas with you. Ultimately, however, moving to Texas with you should be her decision. Regardless of the circumstances, I say embrace the decision and make it work. Make this decision about your relationship going to the next level, and not about the fear of repercussions from a deceased policy. Remember: moving in with you is her decision, and her thoughts and feelings are equally as important. Good luck!
Hello & Good Day, Sarge! Currently, my partner is in the Army. Her next duty station is going to be in Germany. I did some research and learned that I would be able to stay in the country for up to 90 days, at which point, I would have to leave the country for 6 months before returning. Are there any other options for us? We are planning to get married in about three months, but feel that may not be the best decision because of the new orders. It seems so unfair, especially since we have been together for so long. These laws are tough – your advice would be greatly appreciated! Best Regards, A. R. Hello A.R, I must say, I am saddened to hear about your current situation. I am going to assume that you are not in the military, since you are planning to stay in Germany on a visa. I have done some research on the visa requirements for Germany and talked to a friend of mine who lived in Germany for about 3 and a half years after high school. I think that I have found a pretty good opportunity for you to remain in the country longer than 90 days. In Germany, Americans are permitted to apply for jobs on American military installations. Look into getting a job on base working in the Commissary or an AAFES facility. You can visit http://odin.aafes.com/employment/ as well as http://federalgovernmentjobs.us/job-location/germany.html to find available positions on the military installations in Germany. Also, if you have a bachelor’s degree in a relevant field, you may even be able to snag a Government Services (GS) or contracting job available in the area. Having a job in the country will allow you to apply for a working visa, and having a government job will solidify your stay in Germany. As far as your relationship and future marriage goes, I don’t think that I have to tell you that circumstances in the military are changing rapidly at the moment. We all hope that in the very near future we will see a world where our partners are recognized as military spouses and are entitled to the same benefits given to those of heterosexual couples. Do what you both think is best in this situation. I truly believe that with enough determination, we will do whatever it takes to make it work, regardless of the circumstances. Best of luck! K.Parsons is an advice columnist for OutServe Magazine and has been serving on active duty since 2007. If you have a question you’d like to submit to him, e-mail K.P. at dearsgt@outserve.org This column serves as a way for members to seek advice from their peers, and in no way does the columnist's opinions replace professional medical advice. Anyone struggling with medical or personal issues is encouraged to seek professional help from a military chaplain, Family Support Center, or a medical health facility.
September 2011 ∫ OutServeMag.com
7
the summit
Hosts First Annual Armed Forces Leadership Summit 8 OutServeMag.com
O
September 2011
n October 13, 2011, OutServe, the largest network of actively serving LGBT military personnel, will be kicking off its first annual Armed Forces Leadership Summit at the New York New York Hotel and Casino. Over the course of the weekend, hundreds of active duty service members, veterans, civilians, and allies, will join together to engage, educate, and work towards a brighter future for the military and the LGBT community. With renowned organizations and honorary guest speakers, the Armed Forces Leadership Summit will provide the LGBT military community a means of building professional networks, sharing best practices and formulating strategies that help build a stronger military community. The Summit will feature respected and well-known authorities presenting on a range of topics, intriguing and groundbreaking panels, and interactive workshops that address diversity as a strength. Among
the repeal issue the many topics to be featured: how allied military forces have built a diverse military community; post-service employment opportunities for LGBT personnel; legislative battles ahead; and resources for LGBT military families and partners. The Summit will also include strategic group breakouts for partners, transgender service members, service academies, women and others. “We believe diversity is a force multiplier, and this conference will bring together veterans, active-duty military, and other experts to help us leverage LGBT inclusion for the benefit of military readiness,” says Josh Seefried, OutServe’s active-duty codirector. “Building an environment of mutual respect is ingrained in our military values, and as active-duty soldiers, sailors, airmen, and marines who happen to be gay, that’s what we are working toward.” “As Mrs. Obama and Dr. Biden have shown us through their ‘Joining Forces’ project, supporting military families is supporting the military,” added Seefried. “Providing resources to LGBT military partners and families is a priority for us since the military is currently prohibited from giving any spousal benefits to them.” Well-renowned organizations and businesses are moving quickly at the opportunity to support this year’s Armed Forces Leadership Summit. The Central Intelligence Agency, Human Rights Campaign, Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, and Out & Equal are just a few among a growing list of supporters. As evidenced by this dynamic and diverse group of sponsors, the Summit is bound to generate a fascinating dialogue. As we move to a post-DADT climate, it’s imperative that we organize as a community and strategize how to build a more equitable, diverse, and safe military. OutServe is ecstatic to lead this discussion and pave the way for a brighter future in our military community. – Andrew Jenkins
Leadership and Discussion Panels • The Path Forward: Partner & Family Benefits for LGB’s • Scriptures & Homosexuality: a discussion by former military chaplains on LGBT service • How Other Militaries did it: Allied Perspective on LGBT Military Service • Being “Out” and In: Leading from the Front • Post-Military Career Opportunities • SWAN Legislative Update • Trans Service: Current Policy & Issues • Dealing with Deployment: for Servicemembers and Partners • OutServe Magazine: How We Can Make it Better, How You Can Contribute • Pluralism and Professionalism in the Military Chaplaincy • The Death of DADT and the Path Forward for LGBT Rights • Marriage Equality: Where We Stand, How You Can Help
SUMMIT SPONSORS
For more information, visit the Summit page on the OutServe website at: www.outserve.org/summit Contact news@outserve.org for more information about attending the Summit.
September 2011 ∫ OutServeMag.com
9
OUR TIME Edited byJosh Seefried c.2011, Penguin Press $24.95 Hardcover
T
The publication of OUR TIME: BREAKING THE SILENCE OF “DON’T ASK, DON’T TELL” (The Penguin Press / $24.95 hardcover), edited by Josh Seefried, co-founder and codirector of OutServe, coincides with the repeal of DADT and marks the end of more than a decade of silence, giving voice to the LGBT men and women who served under its policy. The book is a compilation of short firstperson essays, written primarily by active duty service members, by those discharged under the policy and by their supporters. It details the hardships faced by soldiers, families and partners, the pain of the choice between military and self, and exemplifies humanity at its very best — leaders who support their comrades, friendships forged and minds opened. Throughout, we are reminded of the bravery and selflessness of the men and women who choose to serve our country and defend our liberties while their own freedom is withheld. A short excerpt from the book’s introduction follows: “President Barack Obama signed the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” Repeal Act bill into law on December 22, 2010. Though official repeal then remained on the horizon, that day marked the beginning of a new era for the American military. I sat in the audience that day as a representative of OutServe and as an active duty gay Air Force officer directly affected by the policy. It was thrilling to celebrate this hard victory alongside other advocates, but I also knew that despite the leap forward there remained a tremendous amount of work to be done. For eighteen years, the policy had effectually silenced an entire military population. The ways in which ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ had poisoned military culture remained untold. Our Time is our story of our military experience under ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.’ The individuals you will meet in these pages served in silence. They were required to withhold an integral part of themselves from their colleagues. They could not freely share their love for their families, or their dreams for the future. They had no protection when individuals used the ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ policy to blackmail and harass. Though as active duty service members
10 OutServeMag.com
September 2011
good reading
themselves know, the silence of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t
in almost every story included here.
Tell’ was already beginning to break. The stories
When service members sent me their stories,
here are testament to the remarkable friendships
they would often thank me for the opportunity
that form between Soldiers, relationships of
to contribute. They told me that there was a
respect and affection that transcend prejudice
certain vindication in writing their story on paper
and prove just how very outdated and bankrupt
and knowing it was going to be read. The human
the ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ policy was.
narrative is a powerful tool. It was the courage
Throughout Our Time, you will note time and
of previous gay service members stories that
time again one word: integrity. This concept is a
motivated the nation to change this policy and it’s
cornerstone of military education and tradition, it
these stories that will help the pain of the last few
is a value we are taught to aspire to and to uphold.
decades of discrimination heal.”
And yet, ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ denied integrity to each and every LGBT service member. Every day these individuals were faced with the deep, wounding conflict: to be true to themselves, or true their country. The pain of that choice is felt
– an excerpt from the introduction to OUR TIME: BREAKING THE SILENCE OF “DON’T ASK, DON’T TELL” edited by Josh Seefried; to be published by The Penguin Press in October 2011. To pre-order the book, visit http://outserve.org/2011/08/ourtime/
Courage
A
Written by Eddy Sweeney
t the age of nineteen, I began a destructive life of deception, lies, and evasion with myself and the government of the United States of America. The day this happened was like any other day in Amherst, Massachusetts in the winter–cold, gray, and slightly breezy. I was wearing a maroon button-up shirt, khaki pants, and an old pair of wornout brown boots when I made my way to Detachment 370, the local Air Force ROTC unit. I sat in a small conference room adorned with 1980’s wood-paneling on the second floor of an aging building, waiting for Staff Sergeant H (SSgt) to bring in my paperwork so I could finally apply to join the Air Force. She was a determined woman who walked and spoke with an air of authority that rivaled my future Commander. As we went
12 OutServeMag.com
through the forms, I became increasingly excited about what I was about to embark upon. The history, the tradition, the honor, the integrity … Before I signed each paper, SSgt H would look me sternly in the eyes and ask if I had any questions. No ma’am. So you understand what is expected of you? Yes ma’am. Of course, most of what she had been asking thus far were routine questions or issues that were not problems in my life: health ailments, drug or alcohol abuse, huge financial problems. For a brief moment, in the flurry of signing a mountain of forms, I had entirely forgotten about the DADT policy. It was not as if I did not know about it before joining ROTC. In fact, part of the reason why I joined ROTC so late was that I was still wrestling with my own sexual identity.
September 2011
Was I bisexual? Was this a phase? Isn’t college about experimentation? I wanted to be sure that I knew how I was feeling before I put myself in a situation that would bind me. “The last thing we need to discuss is the homosexual policy.” I could feel the sweat starting to pour down the nape of my back. The room, which a moment earlier was fairly cool, became almost stiflingly hot. SSgt H bored into me with her eyes as she went through the regulation, staring at me like she could see right through my act. After she was done explaining the policy, she handed me a form and asked me to sign it. As I stared at the form, pen slightly elevated in my right hand, I told myself that joining the military — serving my country — involved some sort of sacrifice. Though the military did not expressly
the repeal issue forbid gays and lesbians to join under the DADT law signed by President Clinton, one could not act of course on any of their natural desires. I foolishly thought to myself: It couldn’t be that hard to tame my burgeoning sexual desires while I served my time … right? I quickly signed the form and handed it to SSgt H. I was now officially a Cadet. The implications of my actions were evident almost immediately. About a month after joining ROTC, I was on a date in my room discussing politics and my current slate of classes when my date’s eyes reverted to my bookshelf. Almost immediately, I noticed my AFROTC textbook and I bit my lip with nervousness. “You joined ROTC, Eddy?” The tone in his voice reflected disappointment, almost disgust. “How can you force yourself to live a lie?” Needless to say, there was never a second date. Though I thought my date had a legitimate point — I understood his frustration — I believed that there was nothing shameful about serving my country, regardless of the circumstances. When I did finally land a boyfriend during my senior year in college, my stress level exponentially increased. Not only was I selected as Cadet Wing Commander, charged with setting the example for the rest of the cadet corps, but I was also on a scholarship. If someone were to divulge that I had a boyfriend, I would have lost everything. Luckily I had a boyfriend who was willing to stick with me through this process, but as I grew closer to my
fellow cadets, the inevitable questions concerning my love life would almost always come up. The lies, the deception to the people I truly cared about and trusted tortured me over time.
ring on your finger, the calls to the office from a man, and ask questions. Please, just be careful. Take off the ring.” Throughout this exchange I merely sat there and slowly nodded my head. Neither of us explicitly acknowledged the policy, or even uttered the words gay, but her point was abundantly clear — you’re beginning to cross the line. I thanked her for her concern and promptly left her office. My cheeks were bright red, my entire body was burning, and tears were forming in my eyes. What right did she have to tell me I could not wear a ring on my finger? Why was I questioned about my sexual preferences when no one else in the office was? Though I was upset at the time, I grew to respect my former boss for her words and concern. Though they were borderline inappropriate, in my opinion, she was trying to look out for me — and there is something to be said for that. Despite her warning, the ring stayed on my finger. It became, to me at least, a talisman that gave me the strength to not back down. Though I continued to put my job at risk with such a simple gesture, I found the ring gave me an ounce of courage that I did not possess before this incident. It awoke in me a passion — more than I ever had before — to do something to make sure this policy would become history. This magazine is the fruit of those efforts.
Though I continued to put my job at risk with such a simple gesture, I found the ring gave me an ounce of courage that I did not possess before this incident. It was not until after I commissioned that the closest run-in I had with outing myself occurred. After about two years into my commission I was stationed overseas, a year into a pretty serious relationship, and thoroughly enjoying my life. Despite the DADT policy, I had managed to successfully navigate my relationship through a maze of secrecy among my colleagues. Or at least that is what I thought. My boss at the time, a Major in the Air Force, called me into her office one day rather unexpectedly. “Eddy, I need to talk to you about something before I leave here next month. Follow me please.” As I followed into her office I sat down, placed my hand over the side of my cheek — my boyfriend’s ring on my finger — and stared at her with c omplete seriousness. “What did you want to talk about Ma’am?” “I am worried about you. You do a great job around here and I don’t want to see you leave because of a policy you and I probably don’t agree with. Perception is reality in the military. People notice that
Eddy Sweeney is an active duty Intelligence officer who commissioned in the Air Force in 2007. He is also the managing editor of OutServe Magazine. For more information on Sweeney, read his bio at: http://outservemag.com/mag-staff/
September 2011 ∫ OutServeMag.com
13
PRIDE written by “N”
p
“Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves; vanity, to what we would have others think of us.” – Jane Austen, in Pride and Prejudice
“Pride” means many things to each of us: happiness at what is a tough choice, and is often not without consequence. Each we’ve accomplished as a repressed group of people, or admiration person’s way of expressing his or her own ‘pride’ is unique, at those who have gone before us and trailblazed a path toward challenging, and beautiful. For instance, one of my goals this full equality. When some of us hear the word ‘Pride’, however, year as I continue my ‘coming out’ journey is to live a truer, more our minds might be filled with images of rainbow flags, parades, genuine life. “True” and “genuine” means being honest first with myself, because only then can I be glitter, and kittens. We might think of honest with others. parties with our friends or dancing in “I have come to realize ‘Pride’ is also societal, even the streets, kissing the person we love — cultural — much bigger than the in full view of the world … and, for those that my choices made individual. In our unique military few days of a typical “pride” celebration, culture, ‘pride’ is about recognizing those of us who have spent (or still me who I am today. individuals for their contributions spend) the majority of our time in the to the organization, without regard closet feel free — free to just be. Without the experiences for their sexual orientation. ‘Pride’ is But ‘pride’, to me, is so much more having the courage to stand up for than the party, or even a generic feeling subsequent to those what is right, to be strong enough of admiration on our accomplishments to face discrimination, hate, and thus far. Especially this year, with decisions, I would not be ignorance head-on. ‘Pride’, for LGBT the dynamic changes in our society’s the same person.” service members, is the ability to finally perception of LGBT people, and the answer — openly — the question of repeal of DADT, ‘Pride’ means so much love; even if it’s only to those we trust more. This year, ‘pride’ is about freedom to be open and honest — all year long. It’s about holding your the most — be that a roommate, a colleague, a trusted officer or partner’s hand at the mall (if anyone still shops in a mall!) … kissing an NCO confidant. Having ‘pride’, this year, means living without that person at dinner in a restaurant outside of the Castro, fear. Our “family” watched with pride this past year as the true Hillcrest or 4th Street … it’s about changing your relationship nature of our nation shone through the darkness of ignorance and status on your main page, not just your gay page. Without a doubt, ‘pride’ is personal. Each person’s decision to bigotry. We’ve seen the polls gradually slide from unsupportive, be open, honest, and genuine with his or her family and friends to apathetic, to openly supportive of our freedom to serve freely,
14 OutServeMag.com
September 2011
the repeal issue proudly, with integrity. We’ve seen politicians — both Democrat and Republican — shift their stance on gay rights and tolerance. We have watched in tears as our Commander-in-Chief signed into law legislation which allows us to finally be honest with the world while simultaneously serving the country we love so much. ‘Pride’, it seems, is about being proud to be an American again. As I reflect on my own journey towards honesty and openness, I cannot help but think about some of the decisions I have made that have hindered my journey. I find myself occasionally questioning choices along the way, some of which have led to me to hurt those I loved the most. I sometimes second-guess my choices and wonder if I made the right ones. In the end, however, I look back with ‘pride’ at my own growth as a person — and as a service member. I think of how drastically different my life would have been had I made different life choices long ago, and how insignificant my contributions to my country would have been. With all of my regrets (and I have many), I have come to realize that my choices made me who I am today. Without the experiences subsequent to those decisions, I would not be the same person.
As Jane Austen so eloquently told us, “vanity and pride are different things.” This is an important distinction as we move forward in our marathon journey towards openness and equality. As frustrating as being patient can be, especially in the presence of those who do not understand or wish to understand, our duty is to educate those with whom we live and serve. Our duty is to be proud, but not vain. Our duty is to be respectful, loving, kind, and understanding while our society matures around us. Take care not to confuse patience with weakness or apathy. We must be strong and deliberate when necessary to ensure that the progress made by both our generation and those who came before us was not for naught. In our fight for what is just, and true, and fair, we must remain mindful of how far we have come, and we must keep our eye on the ultimate prize. ‘Pride’ is not only our goal, ‘pride’ is also our means of achieving it. "N" joined the Marine Corps as a 2nd Lieutenant infantry officer in 2003. Currently a Captain, he is stationed in California.
16 OutServeMag.com
September 2011
Proud
to Serve A PHOTO ESSAY + MULTI-MEDIA EXHIBIT BY JO ANN SANTANGELO Joann Darrah
Alexandria, Virginia
Served in silence under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT) for almost two decades in the Navy as an intelligence officer from 1973-2002. She testified before Congress in support of repealing DADT in 2008. Joan is a member of the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network’s (SLDN) Military Advisory Council.
The project/images are represented by Redux Pictures http://reduxpictures.com
P
Proud to Serve is a portrait essay and multimedia piece featuring lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) American service members who served their country in silence or were discharged under the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” law. Over the last two years, I visited the homes and documented the stories of these men and women. I started Proud to Serve, when I was a student at the International Center of Photography (www.icp.org) in Manhattan (2008-2009). I have never been in the military; I don’t come from a military family. I am a lesbian. Before starting this project, I never really thought about “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” or gays in the military. In the summer of 2008, I was a pedicab driver in Austin, Texas. Austin’s proximity to Ft. Hood meant that, every weekend, tons of returning Iraq veterans would come to Austin’s 6th Street district to hang out. This was the first time I was actually around service members my own age. One weekend night, I gave a ride to a young soldier who opened my eyes. During the ride to his hotel, he started telling me about his military life, the recent death of his friends, how he didn’t want to re-enlist but the military had offered him money to stay in. By this point, I had pulled over the cab and we were just talking. I had a sense he needed an ear. After further chatting, he told me he was gay and what it was like to be gay in the Army, how he had to lie on a daily basis. I was like most Americans who were not in the military; I didn’t think, “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” was “wrong”. I assumed people didn’t ask, and you didn’t tell. That night, I went home and looked up gays in the military. The numbers shocked me.
Rear Admiral Alan M. Steinman, MD, MPH Dupont, Washington
Is the former Director of Health and Safety for the Coast Guard, in which he served as both the chief medical officer and chief safety officer. During his 25 years of service, Dr. Steinman developed the Coast Guard’s system of emergency medical services and was instrumental in creating the Coast Guard’s EMT School. He served from 1972 - 1997. RADM Steinman is the most senior military officer to self-identify as gay after his retirement.
Brenda S. “Sue” Fulton
North Plainfield, New Jersey
18 OutServeMag.com
Is a 1980 graduate of the US Military Academy, the first class of women to graduate from West Point. She served for five years in the Signal Corps in Germany as a platoon leader, staff officer, and company commander. Sue serves as the Board Chair for Knights Out, an organization of West Point Alumni, Staff and Faculty who are united in supporting the rights of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender soldiers to openly serve their country.
Tech Sergeant Camille Davidson San Diego, California
Joined the Air Force in 1979 at the age of 34, sworn in one day before she would no longer be eligible for service. She served in the Mobile Aerial Port Unit (MAPS) and was responsible for packing, transporting, and loading cargo to support missions. She also served as a pharmacy and medical records technician. After 23 years of service she retired honorably in 2004.
Petty Officer 2nd Class Jason Knight
Monterey, California
Joined the Navy in early 2001 and became a Hebrew linguist. He was discharged in 2005 when his marriage-annulment papers included references to his homosexuality. Yet because of a bureaucratic mistake, he was accidentally listed as an inactive reservist and recalled back to service in 2006. He was discharged again in 2007 after writing a letter to the editor of Stars 2011 19 and StripesSeptember newspaper on gay rights. âˆŤ OutServeMag.com
There are roughly 71,000 gay men and women currently serving in the armed forces. Nearly 14,000 service members have been discharged for being gay. There are more than one million gay veterans. Two months later, I was a full-time student at the ICP, where, from day one, you are instructed to find and focus on a long-term photography project. Unlike a lot of my peers, who were searching for ideas and projects, I knew right away what/who I wanted to document. I wanted to photograph and record the stories of LGBT veterans. Our long-term projects had to be approved by our seminar instructors, and when I brought it to mine, I was told, “Why do you want to photograph gay veterans? This is not a project–gays have always been in the military.” That was my point exactly, gays have always been in the military, but who are they, what are their stories? I wanted to put a human face on the statistics. After much debate, I was granted the go-ahead on my project. Now the fun part: how do you find LGBT veterans? I started posting on Craigslist and began contacting all the organizations I could find, HRC (Human Rights Campaign), SLDN (Servicemembers Legal Defense Network), SU (Servicemembers United) and AVERNY (American Veterans for Equal Rights) NY Chapter. At first, I received little response, but I was persistent. After months of making little progress and increased pressure from my instructors, in March of 2009, I headed to Washington, DC for SLDN’s “Lift the Ban” rally. It was there that I met the first three participants, Captain Joan Darrah, Sargeant Darren Manzella and ROTC Midshipmen Todd Belok. We exchanged info and two weeks later I was again on a bus headed to D.C., where Captain Darrah would pick me up and take me to her home in Arlington, VA.
20 OutServeMag.com
September
Lieutenant Andrew Holmes Sacramento, California
Enlisted in the California Army National Guard through the Army (ROTC) in 1986. Upon graduation, he was commissioned as 2nd Lieutenant and served with the 870th Military Police Company (Combat) in the California Army National Guard. In 1993 he wrote a formal letter to his commander informing him of his sexuality. Holmes was discharged during a field training exercise in 1994.
Lieutenant Colonel Denise Jacinto (R) and Lieutenant Colonel Sharie Russell (L), Lincoln, Alabama Both served in the Army Military Police Corps. Denise served from 1976 - 1996. She was one of the first women assigned to a combat division and served as the first division provost marshal on Ft. Hood with the 2nd AD. Sharie served from 1974 - 1995. She was the former commander of a 1200-soldier battalion. They both ended their military careers, retiring in order to be together. They 2011 have been together for 17 years.
Cadet Katie Miller
Yale University, New Haven, Connecticut Who was ranked ninth out of 1,157 cadets in her West Point class resigned her career in the military. In her resignation letter she wrote “I am unwilling to suppress an entire portion of my identity any longer because it has taken a significant personal, mental and social toll on me and detrimentally affected my professional development. I have experienced a relentless cognitive dissonance by attempting to adhere to §654 [colloquially known as “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”].
Lance Corporal Jeff Key
Salt Lake City, Utah
Joined the Marine Reserves in 2000, at the age of 34. After the terrorist attacks of 2001 his unit made preparations for activation and in March 2003 deployed to Eastern Iraq. Two months later, Jeff was flown back to the United States for surgery. He decided to leave the military because of his concerns about the things he had observed in Iraq. On March 31, 2004, he went on CNN as Paula Zahn’s guest and September 2011 21 spoke out using the ban on gays in the military∫ toOutServeMag.com be discharged.
I was really nervous because I had never photographed someone I didn’t know in his or her home. She and her partner Lynne were amazing. I couldn’t have wished for a better first subject. After about an hour of photographing, we sat down and I recorded her story. At this point, I had done months of research, read countless books and stories on the subject of gays in the military and “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”, but it wasn’t until she spoke that the real impact of the ban hit me. “I was at the Pentagon bus stop when the planes hit on September 11th, seven of my co-workers were killed. If I had been killed, my partner would have been the last to know …” If I had any doubts about this project, her words instantly dissolved them. I finished school that summer, but I knew that I wasn’t finished with this project, that this was just the beginning. The first major publicity for the project occurred when The Advocate Magazine published six portraits in the November 2009 issue. Veterans from all over the country started contacting me and I kept all their information in hopes to someday visit with them. That winter, I discovered and reached out to Knights Out and Sue Fulton. Sue invited me to her home, sent out e-mails and put me in touch with the next five veterans I would photograph. In January of 2010, The LGBT Community Center in New York approached me. They were interested in exhibiting Proud to Serve with an opening on Veteran’s Day, November 2010, and they wanted 30 images to display. At this point, I had been working on the project for more than a year and a half and had documented only 15 veterans.
Sergeant Tracy Giesker
Birmingham, Alabama
Served in the Army as a member of the Military Police from 1981-1994. Due to numerous threats and investigations into her sexuality, Tracy decided not to continue her military career after 13 years of service.
Colonel Stewart Bornhoft Bonita, California
22 OutServeMag.com
Graduated from West Point in 1969 and later taught there. He served in the Army on active duty since 1969 and retired in 1995. Colonel Bornhoft is a decorated veteran who commanded combat engineers during two tours in Vietnam. He also commanded two districts in the Army Corps of Engineers. He is legally married to his husband, a Navy veteran of eight years’ service.
September 2011
Staff Sergeant Bryan Clark Lakewood, Colorado
Was in the Marine Corps Reserves from 1984-1987. Bryan served on active duty beginning in 1987 and after several deployments and numerous service medals, he was discharged under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” in 1996.
Cadet Mara Boyd Ann Arbor, Michigan
Completed three years in the Air Force ROTC program at the University of Colorado at Boulder and graduated in the top ten percent of her basic training class before she came out to her commander in 2002. She was honorably discharged in 2003. Boyd’s ROTC scholarship, which had paid for two years of nonresident tuition, was revoked upon her discharge, and the government demanded that she repay her September 2011to ∫a $30,000 OutServeMag.com 23 scholarships and book stipends, amounting debt.
My main problem in expanding the project and reaching more people was that I was living in Brooklyn, with no funds to travel and student loan payments looming. The other issue I was having was that I wanted the project to include veterans from across the country, not just the northeast. In May of 2010, I was invited by Alex Nicholson of Servicemembers United to attend a Veteran’s Lobby Day in D.C. Face-toface with 400 veterans from across the United States, I introduced my project and myself. The response was “Yes, come visit me in North Carolina … sure, love to see you in New Mexico … if you are ever in Santa Cruz …” That spring, I racked my brain on how I was not only going to visit with all the veterans I met, but also how would I do it before November. I had heard of kickstarter.com, a funding platform for creative projects, and in June, I decided I would give it a try. I set up a Proud to Serve Facebook page and started tweeting, and I was blown away by the response. I raised more than $3,000 from 68 backers, including two active duty service members, both serving in Iraq. On August 25, 2010, I hit the road. For the next 28 days, I traveled 10,168 miles and photographed and recorded the stories of 46 LGBT veterans. During those 28 days, I heard stories of lies, hiding, betrayal, honor and pride — a community in voices. I returned to Brooklyn on September 21, and the next three weeks were spent editing and printing 65 18x24-inch prints for the exhibit.
Corporal Robert Potter
San Francisco, California
Was drafted into the Army in 1946 and re-enlisted shortly after to serve from 1946-1947 in the Army Air Force. He deployed to Japan and Korea. He is a member of the Alexander Hamilton Post #448 of the American Legion, the only gay post recognized by the American Legion.
Yeoman Timothy V. Beauchamp Jay, Oklahoma
24 OutServeMag.com
September
Joined the Navy in 1984. He was trained as nuclear engineering specialist, cross-rated and then served on the submarine U.S.S. Henry Clay, where he was the ship’s Protestant Lay Reader while out at sea. After his wife shared her thoughts with friends and word got out about his homosexuality, Timothy was honorably discharged 2011 in 1988.
Corporal Evelyn Thomas (L) Van Horn, Texas
Served in the Army National Guard in 1986 as a Supply Clerk and then decided to join the Marine Corps, where she was a baker. After threats, harassments and investigations Into her sexuality she decided not to re-enlist and was honorably discharged in 1991. Evelyn is the Executive Director and Co-Founder with her wife Linda Sanders (R) of The Sanctuary Project, an activist ministry that advocates for service members, veterans, and their families. They reside in Carlsberg, CA.
Major Mike Almy Washington, D.C.
Joined the Air Force in 1993 after graduating from Wright State University, where he earned his commission through Air Force ROTC. He deployed to the Middle East four times during his career, supporting Operation Desert Fox, Operation Southern Watch and Operation Iraqi Freedom. While in Iraq, the military searched his private emails and investigated him for violating “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”. He was discharged 2011 ∫ aOutServeMag.com 25 in 2006 after servingSeptember 13 years on active duty as communications officer.
On November 11, 2010, Proud to Serve opened at the LGBT Center in Manhattan. That evening also included a panel discussion on “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” with Washington Post columnist Jonathan Capehart, Nathaniel Frank, author of the definitive work on the policy (Unfriendly Fire), and Center for American Progress Senior VP for External Affairs Winnie Stachelberg. The panel was moderated by attorney and political strategist Richard Socarides, who served as White House Special Assistant under President Clinton. I walked around The Center that night and saw the faces of all the brave men and women who I had the honor to photograph, heard everyone talking about how they were so moved by the stories. It was worth the time, energy, sweat and tears that went into this project to see the public reception that night. On December 18, 2010, the Senate voted 65 to 31 to pass the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” On March 23, 2011, I received a signed thank you note from President Obama. Proud to Serve has been published in several newspapers and magazines in the United States, Spain, Germany, The Netherlands, Belgium and Sweden. The photos exhibited this past June at The Q Center in Portland, OR, and 20 more portraits are going to be in a group show in November 2011, with Catherine Opie and Sophia Wallace at the Clifford Gallery at Colgate University in Hamilton, NY. I have accomplished what I wanted this project to do, to put a human face on the statistics of gays in the military, to share the stories of LGBT American service members who served our country with honor and pride, even though they had to lie and hide a part of themselves to do so. Though, I am no longer actively documenting this project, I am continuing to photograph and record the stories of LGBT veterans. My latest project includes documenting people in Central Texas who have been diagnosed with HIV and AIDS.
For more of JoAnn Santangelo’s work, visit:
26 OutServeMag.com http://joannsantangelo.com/
Captain Anthony “Tony” Woods Alexandria, VA
Is a veteran of Operation Iraqi Freedom, and was discharged from the Army in 2008 after he came out to his commander. He subsequently ran for U.S. Congress in California’s 10th Congressional District, in a bid to become the first openly gay African-American in Congress. He lost that bid, receiving 8 percent of a special election vote on September 1, 2009.
Sergeant Tracey Gerald Gold’s Gym, Irving, Texas
Joined the Marine Corps in 1991 with her twin sister Stacey. Tracey was a recruiter and served as an ambulance driver in Iraq during Operation Iraqi Freedom. Due to the strain of serving under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”, Tracey retired from the Marine Corps in February 2008.
September 2011
Specialist Rose Miztri Prescott, Arizona
Joined the Army in 1968 and medically retired in 1976 after a motorcycle accident. Rose was an aircraft mechanic in Korea and a crew chief of a “dust off” helicopter ambulance during the Vietnam War. In 2009 she started living as Rose.
Corporal Brett Edward Stout
Long Island, New York
Joined the Marine Corps in 1997. He studied Russian at the Defense Language Institute in Monterey, California. Corporal Stout was stationed at Kaneohe Bay Marine Corps Base, Hawaii as a Russian cryptologic linguist and weapons marksmanship instructor. He was honorably discharged in 2002. Brett published his first novel Sugar-baby Bridge in 2006.
September 2011 ∫ OutServeMag.com
27
On Coming
A
As always, the OutServe membership continues to impress me with their strength and courage. I am extremely proud of every troop who submitted their picture and bio to be published in this issue of OutServe Magazine. Coming out is never an easy process, by Karl B. and doing so in such a public manner makes you a prime example for other troops who are currently struggling with their own sexuality. Now that DADT no longer looms over America’s military, many of its troops now face a new, and equally difficult challenge: the process of coming out. The stresses and uncertainty of how people will react can be paralyzing, especially if you really care about the person you are telling. For me, coming out to my parents was one of the hardest challenges I have had to face. While the possibility of them not accepting me for who I am was terrifying, I knew I couldn’t continue to hide from them. I toyed around with the idea for a while, and can vividly recall sitting on the couch at my friend Derek’s house this past January. We had a deep and philosophical discussion about being gay and in the military, and after hearing about how he came out to his parents, my mind was made up. The next time I saw my Mom and Dad, I was going to tell them. Coming out, I firmly believe, is part art and part science…over the next few months, I deliberated on the logistics of the matter. First off, I decided to tell them face to face. No other means of communicating the message seemed adequate or respectful enough. I knew my parents would have questions to which I owed an answer on the spot – no phone call or handwritten letter would do. The next decision I had to make was a matter of syntax. I needed to find the right words, which turned out to be easier said than done. I was worried about there being too much build-up. If I danced around the subject too long I feared the conversation would either get sidetracked and I would whimp out, or they would assume something was seriously wrong. Is our son in trouble? Is he dropping out of the military? Is he getting deployed somewhere dangerous? I didn’t want to do that to them. For the next two months, I practiced telling them. In the aviation community, we call this “chair-flying”, and I did a lot of it. I found myself practicing whenever I was alone. On more than one occasion, I’m sure I was that crazy person carrying on an imaginary conversation from across the traffic light. After work one Friday, I made the six hour drive home. That night, I went out to dinner with my parents, and afterwards, met up with some of my
28 OutServeMag.com
September 2011
best friends from high school. I told my buddy Mike, who is also gay and out to his parents, what I was up to. As he gave me a huge hug and told me how proud he was, I made him promise to not let me chicken out. Even though I could barely sleep that Johnson night, the next day seemed to come all too quickly. Just as I had planned, I took them to lunch, went shopping with my dear, sweet mother, and spent the day with them. Call it “buttering them up,” but I wanted to remind my parents of how much I love them … and in the event of that worst case scenario, I could have one last, great day together with Mom and Dad. As soon as we got back to the house, I told them I needed to talk to them about something. Before my parents could scatter about their Saturday business, I brought them into the family room and let them get comfortable. At long last, the “chair-flying” paid off and the words came out flawlessly: “Mom, Dad, I’m tired of hiding a big part of my life and not being entirely honest with you. I’m gay.” I knew at some point they would have something to say, so I paused there to give them a chance to speak. I think they were still too shellshocked at this point to say anything, so I continued on. We talked for the next two hours, I continued to tell them how being gay was no big deal and that my relationship with them was unchanged. I still loved them, still wanted to get married and adopt a kid or two, and was still the same son they did such a good job of raising. The conversation ended with a big hug between the three of us. I decided to give them some alone time to talk without me. I left the house for a few hours, and my mother said she has never seen my father cry so hard. Initially, it was hard on them … but I must say, I’m impressed at the courage they displayed as they promised to support me – no matter what. Unfortunately not every coming out story will have a happy ending like mine. Call me old fashioned, but I firmly believe having support back on the home front is important to doing a good job in the military. Why fight if there is nothing at home worth fighting for? I am lucky to have such great parents, and am glad I could be there for them through this whole ordeal. They mean the world to me, and I know we have grown stronger as they have taken on the role of the parents of a gay son, and airman. Karl B. Johnson is an Air Force C-17 pilot who has been serving on active duty since 2008.
the repeal issue
one-hundred + one
faces of courage
We served in silence... never doubting that one day, our country would give back to us that same freedom for which we fight. Now, we're stepping forward — to a new day, to a new life ... a life of openness, of integrity, of honor. At last, our country has accepted us — not for who we love or how we love, but for who we are. – Staff Sergeant Jonathan Mills, USAF
September 2011 ∫ OutServeMag.com
29
The following 101 photos represent the approximately 70,000 currently serving LGBT military personnel. We serve in every country, in every conflict, and in every career field. We serve because we are committed to our country. We serve to protect those we love. We serve because we are dedicated to this self-evident truth — that all men are created equal. This is who we are:
Captain Patrick Twomey, USA Medical Doctor/Internal Medicine Walter Reed Army Medical Center, D.C.
Petty Officer Second Class Anthony Blevins, USN Cryptologic Technician Naval Computer and Telecommunications Station, Guam
Master Sergeant Kristopher Kobernus, USAF Intelligence Ramstein AB, Germany
Sergeant Joshua Bratz, USA Counterintelligence Special Agent Fort Bragg, NC
Staff Sergeant Luis Gutierrez, USAF Intelligence Analyst Goodfellow AFB, TX
Private First Class Marcus Prince, ARNG Chaplain’s Assistant Chandler, OK
Senior Airman Brad Gilligan, USAF Traffic Management JB Lewis-McChord, WA
Petty Officer Second Class Christopher Parks, USN SONAR Technician USS Stephen W. Groves
Petty Officer Third Class Christianjoy Ebueng, USN Aircrew Survival Equipmentman NAS Lemoore,CA
Petty Officer Second Class Michael S. Martin, USN Aviation Machinist Mate NAS Jacksonville, FL
30 OutServeMag.com
September 2011
Specialist Carlos Urtiaga, USA Combat Engineer Ft Knox, KY
Specialist Alex Arguellez, USA Communication Specialist USAG Baumholder, Germany
Senior Airman Garrett Pipes, USAF Crypotologic Language Analyst Ft Meade, MD
Specialist Angela Whitlock, USA Behavioral Health Specialist Landstuhl Regional Medical Center, Germany
Specialist Ashley Wyse, USA Military Police Ft Lewis, Washington
Sergeant First Class Bernard Perry, USA Medical USAG Hohenfels
Captain Angelo Bonavita, USAF Physicist Wright-Patterson AFB, OH
Senior Airman Brianna Chavis, USAF Computer Display Maintenance Technician Tinker AFB
SSgt Brittany Barlow, USAF Contracting Yokota AB, Japan
Technical Sergeant Jeffrey Lewis Aircraft Structural Maintenance Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ
Lieutenant Colonel Todd Burton, ARNG Army Chemical Corps Arlington Hall Station, VA
Sergeant First Class Carmen Everingham, USA Combat Medic Sacramento, CA
Petty Officer Third Class Charles Martin, USN Aviation Maintenance NAS Jacksonville, FL
Specialist Charles Trubl, USA Helicopter Repairer Ft Bragg, NC
Private First Class Clayton Craig, USMC Infantry Camp Pendleton, CA
September 2011 âˆŤ OutServeMag.com
31
Seaman Alejandro Hernandez, USN Information Technology Misawa AB, Japan
Corporal Shantella Spriggs, USMC Distribution Management Specialist Camp Lejeune, NC
Captain Daniel Toven, USA Music Officer Ft Bragg, NC
Lance Corporal Sharon Kyle, USMC Combat Photographer MCB Quantico, VA
Lietenant Danyell Brenner, USN Board Certified Licensed Clinical Social Worker Guantanamo Bay, Cuba
Hospitalman Adam Lefevre, USN Field Corpsman Camp Lejeune, NC
First Lieutenant Josh Seefried, USAF Budget Analyst/ Finanicial Services JB McGuire-Dix-Lakehurst, NJ
Senior Airman Bruce Watson, USAF Force Support, Sustainment Eglin AFB, FL
Specialist David Rodriguez, USA Military Police Ft Buchanan, Puerto Rico
Seaman David Olvera, USN Administration NAS Jacksonville, FL
Specialist Deddrick Sims, USA Generator Mechanic Ft Benning, GA
Major David Small, USAF Reserve Public Affairs National Media Outreach Office, NYC, NY
Specialist Grant James, USA X-Ray Technician USAG Heidelberg, Germany
Staff Sergeant Joey Hancock, USA Drill Sergeant Ft Benning, GA
Staff Sergeant Ian Terry, USA Public Affairs Journalist Ft Carson, OH
32 OutServeMag.com
September 2011
the repeal issue
Petty Officer First Class Heather Kurfiss, USN Electrician’s Mate, Nuclear Surface NRD Pittsburgh, PA
Specialist Giselle Arredondo, ARNG All Wheel Mechanic JB Lewis-Mcchord, WA
Second Class Petty Officer Jay Wendt, USN Cryptologic Technician NS Norfolk, VA
Captain Mary Klavin, USA Military Intelligence Ft Bragg, NC
Senior Airman James Denton, USAF Security Forces JB Pearl Harbor-Hickam
Sergeant Jessica Riley, USMC Explosive Ordinance Disposal MCAS Cherry Point, NC
Major Jeff Mueller, USAF Developmental Engineering Schriever AFB, CO
Petty Officer Third Class John Kubik, USCG Food Service Specialist USCGC Tampa, VA
Petty Officer Third Class Jose Guerra, USN Culinary Specialist NS Mayport, FL
Specialist Joshua Pilkinton, USA Armor Crewman, Tanker Ft Hood, TX
Senior Airman Kody Parsons, USAF Mental Health Travis AFB, CA
Petty Officer Third Class Kyle Smith, USN Aviation Electronics NAS Jacksonville, FL
Staff Sergeant Larnell Smith, USAF Military Training Instructor Lackland AFB, TX
Master Sergeant Tammy Thompson, USAF Intelligence JB Anacostia-Bolling, DC
Senior Airman Britney Nolley, USAF Supply Management Osan AB, South Korea
September 2011 ∫ OutServeMag.com
33
Airman First Class Mitchell Frieler Pharmacy Technician JB Andrews, MD
Captain William Britton, USAF Developmental Engineering Nellis AFB, NV
Sergeant Bud Cordova, ARNG Combat Medic New Mexico
Petty Officer Second Class Erin Jones, USN Aviation Electronics Technician USS Makin Island
Specialist Lief Watkins, NMNG Military Police New Mexico
2/c Cadet Leigh Sowers, USCG Naval Architecture & Marine Engineering New London, CT
Lance Corporal Malcom Keim, USMC Field Supply & Inventory Control Specialist Camp Hansen, Japan
Hospital Corspman Martin Hodges, USN Medical NMC Portsmouth, VA
Captain Michael Holtz, USAR Military Intelligence Ft Meade, MD
Corporal Nathaniel Householder, USA Information Systems Operator-Analyst Ft Bliss, TX
Airman First Class Nicholas Hall, USAF Signals Intelligence Misawa AB, Japan
Hospital Corpsman Jeffry Priela, USN Medical NHC Hawaii
Staff Sergeant Jenny Taegel, USAF Dental Technician Spangdahlem AB, Germany
Hospital Corpsman Second Class Le’Mikas Lavender, USN Surgical Technologist Great Lakes, IL
Senior Airman Randall McCready, USAF Cryptologic Linguist JB Pearl Harbor-Hickam, HI
34 OutServeMag.com
September 2011
the repeal issue
Electrician’s Mate First Class Richard Armstrong, USN Submarine Nuclear Technician Pearl Harbor Naval Shipyard, HI
Lieutenant Commander Richard Sarmento, USNR Strike Warfare Intelligence Officer NAS Fallon, NV
Second Lieutenant Robert Mobley, USAF Acquisitions Maxwell AFB, AL
Specialist Joshua Robinson, USA Multichannel Operator Maintainer Baumholder, Germany
Sergeant First Class Ron Nalley, USA Chemical Operations Specialist Camp Shelby, MS
Hospital Corpsman Ronald Jordan, USN Surgical Technologist USNH Okinawa, Japan
Specialist Samantha Hinkley, USA Biomedical Equipment Technician Camp Casey, South Korea
Airman First Class Jaden Renshaw, USAF Client Systems Technician Tinker AFB, OK
Airman First Class Samantha Renshaw-Magallanez, USAF Client Systems Technician Little Rock AFB, AR
Electronics Technician Senior Chief Donald Sawyer, USN Combat Systems DEOMI, Patrick AFB, FL
Staff Sergeant Sharalis Canales, USA Behavioral Health Technician USAG Yongsan, Korea
Staff Sergeant Leta McCabe, USAF Aerospace Propulsion Craftsman Tinker AFB, OK
Commander Jay Standring, USN Human Resources Navy Annex, DC
Staff Sergeant Stephen Day, USAF Aircraft Armament Systems Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ
Master Sergeant Thomas Cersley, USAF Operations Intelligence Langley AFB, VA
September 2011 ∫ OutServeMag.com
35
Petty Officer First Class Anthony Smouse, USN Musician USFA Yokasuka, Japan
Senior Airman Travis Boucher, USAF Logistics Plans Misawa AB, Japan
Captain Edward Sweeney, USAF Intelligence Officer Ramstein AB, Germany
[L] Specialist Brandon Maroney, USAAir Defense Artillery Ft Hood, TX
Aviation Structural Mechanic Samantha Phillips, USN Aviation NS Norfolk, VA
Petty Officer Third Class Scott Covert, USN Administration NB San Diego, CA
36 OutServeMag.com
Senior Airman Tristen Lott, USAF Target Development Spangdahlem AB, Germany
[M] Specialist Shannon McLaughlin, USA Air Defense Artillery Ft Hood, TX
Airman First Class Veronique Williams, USAF Knowledge Operations Management Keesler AFB, MS
[R] Specialist Major Casey Moes, USA Elizabeth Ellmann, Military Police USAAir Defense Leavenworth, Kansas Artillery Ft Hood, TX
Senior Airman Shane Dunnavant, USAF Tactical Aircraft Maintainer Holloman AFB, NM
September 2011
Lieutenant Jamar Green, USN Surface Warfare Officer NRD Chicago, IL
Staff Sergeant Jonathan Mills, USAF Radio Frequency Transmissions JB Anacostia-Bolling AFB, DC
Senior Airman Carmine Solimini, USAF F-15 Crew Chief Mountain Home AFB, ID
Staff Sergeant Kenneth Catledge, USMC Administration RAF Menwith Hill, United Kingdom
Logo design by Jennifer Camper
One of OutServe Magazine’s writers had the privilege of interviewing Kate Clinton, the award-winning comedienne, LGBT activist, and guest-star on the television series The L Word. Following DADT repeal, Clinton also dedicated a blog post to her long-time friend “Chief”, a retired lesbian warrant officer in the Coast Guard. INTERVIEW BY KATIE MILLER Photo by Jurek Wajdowicz
Design: Jennifer Camper / Photo: Rory Gevis
Miller: So what have you been up to these days? Clinton: Well, last night I attended a dinner for the National Center for Lesbian Rights. They do such great work, and since it was the night the world supposed to end [I interviewed Kate the morning following “the rapture”], I figured I couldn’t be in a better place. It’s literally full with crazed younger women. I am also busy on tour, as I just released my new CD, Lady HAHA.
Miller: Thank you for your column about “Chief”, a lesbian in the Coast Guard. Could you talk a little more about how you met and how you kept correspondence with her over the years? Clinton: In 1984, I was signing albums after a performance in DC, and a woman came up to me and said, “If I’m seen here, I could be court martialed.” Then I looked at her, and we talked more, and she explained being in the military as a gay woman. I jokingly responded, “well, I’ll see you in court.” That was the start of a 26 year friendship. The first ten years of our correspondence, she was involved in Haitian refugee rescues, getting blankets, food, and taking them to
Guantanamo. She had written stories to me regularly. Keep in mind, this was before Internet, so her letters were written on a typewriter, single-space, and she would go on for pages and pages. I saved every one of them, and I always had the sense that the kind of writing she was doing was keeping her alive, keeping her sane. It was like getting dispatches from the belly of the beast. I wrote back, but I never knew where the letters went or how they got to her. She was stationed in Portsmith, and then she became a chief warrant officer, and she retired 5 or 6 years ago. I had all her letters, so I compiled them and gave them to her as a retirement gift, and said, “this is your book.” Miller: So when people talk about gays and lesbians in the military, they‘re usually talking about those who were forced out or kicked out by the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy. But a vast majority – like me, who voluntarily resigned from West Point – either decided to stay in or to leave on their own accord. Did Chief ever talk about her decision to stay in, despite DADT? Clinton: Chief always wanted to be in the Coast Guard. She was raised on the Finger Lakes, and she always said, “I just love the water.” I knew she was torn between being able to be herself and her love of the water. But she really loved the Coast Guard and loved to serve, and that’s why she stayed in as long as she did. Me being an LGBT activist, I’m sure she felt pressured by me to come out, like it was her
continued >>>
September 2011 ∫ OutServeMag.com
37
responsibility or something as a lesbian. But she was the kind who believed she could make a difference just by being there and being a good leader. And that was something I really admired about her. Miller: Every lesbian in the world is a fan of The L Word, where you guest starred as a therapist who wore a clown nose. What was is like being on the set? Who was your favorite character? Clinton: I liked to tell people that Shane was based on me [Laughter]. MILLER: Don’t we all? [Shane is the untamable heartthrob.] Clinton: Really? I would have pegged you for a Tasha [a lesbian character in the Army]. I knew Ilene Chaiken, the creator of the L Word. I told her that if she needed someone to fill a part, let me know. I get this call, “Ilene has this great part for you. Can you come in tomorrow?” So I flew across the country the next day and played a clown-nosed therapist. Miller: What did you think of The L Word’s DADT story line? Clinton: I thought it was wonderful and honest. They didn’t ever shy away from the real issue. And it showed the range of effects of DADT, especially on relationships. One of the characters,
Alice, always pushed her partner, Tasha [a captain in the Army] to come out. She would say things like, “How can you not stand up against this?” It dramatized the tension of LGBT relationships in the military. Often times, one person is the activist and the other one is just trying to do her job in the military. Miller: You’re known as a comedienne, but you’re also an activist for LGBT rights. How did that come about? Clinton: When it was 1981, I just knew I wanted to be a stand-up comedienne. I didn’t really do political material, I just found the lives of lesbians both fascinating and funny, especially the whole softball thing. The fact that I was also an activist wasn’t immediately aware to me. But then I realized that, by nature, being an out and open woman in the 1980s was a political statement in itself. Miller: Your partner is a well-known political activist. What’s home life like for a comedienne and an activist. Or, since you’re also an activist, is she also a comedienne? Clinton: She tells me, “the show is too long, and you need to do more politics.” Miller: What is the most encouraging thing about the current LGBT movement? Clinton: What we’re seeing, is that we have so many allies. So many straight allies. That, to me, is very, very exciting. We also have to support them. Feminists fight for women’s right to choose. That’s their fight, but that’s our fight too. Immigration is our issue too. And having an understanding of what trans means. It’s a lovely change. That’s huge. On its best day, LGBT movement represents a really broad range of issues. I worry that we’ll get federal marriage equality, and we’ll kick it. But the peoples who try to prevent equality, they’re like zombies, keep risin’ up. We’ve seen it in the black civil rights movement, women’s movement, and I worry we’ll see it in the LGBT movement too. Miller: Anything else you’d like to say to our LGBT troops? Clinton: I think we’re all in this together, thank you for your service, and come to my shows — that’s an order. Join Kate for her 2011 Glee Party Tour! A celebration of her 30-year career. A rolling Restore-to-Sanity rally. For more Kate Clinton, visit her website at www.kateclinton.com.
Photo by David Rodgers
38 OutServeMag.com
September 2011
Katie Miller is a former West Point cadet who resigned in 2010 under DADT and is currently a Political Science major at Yale University. Miller also serves on the OutServe Board of Directors.
the repeal issue
Inspired by Courage
the Fight for Full Equality Marches Forward
F
Written by Aubrey Sarvis, Army Veteran & SLDN Executive Director
rom the earliest days of America’s founding, LGBT Americans have – with pride, distinction and bravery – served the country they love in defense of freedom. It is this legacy of service and sacrifice that has moved countless individuals to work to end the discriminatory “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” law that resulted in the firing of more than 14,000 service members since 1993. Veterans, supporters and allies have shared their stories, spoken out, and tirelessly mobilized over many years so that all qualified Americans may serve regardless of sexual orientation. Because of these collective efforts, passion and courage, we overturned DADT and achieved a historic milestone. As of September 20, 2011, repeal of this terrible law is done. Yet many hurdles lie ahead and much work remains as we engage new fronts in the fight for full LGBT equality in the armed forces. At Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (SLDN), we will work on the outside to provide hands-on oversight of repeal implementation while also representing and defending service members who may face discrimination or harassment because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. Similarly, we will be prepared to litigate in the courts when necessary as we fight for legally married service members to receive the same benefits as their straight counterparts, even as we assist veterans to correct or upgrade their discharge paperwork. We have urged President Obama to prohibit discrimination and harassment in the military based on sexual orientation and gender identity by issuing an Executive Order that would give LGBT service members recourse outside their chain of command. Recommending that the order go into effect on the date of DADT repeal – Tuesday, September 20, 2011 – SLDN first called for such an order in a February letter. We reiterated our call twice last month, first on the day of DADT repeal certification, then with an online petition launched through Change.org. We have made the case for Special Boards to assist veterans harmed by “Don’t Ask” and the regulatory ban that came before it, and urged the Secretary of Defense and Under Secretary of Defense for Personnel and Readiness to establish such boards
to address, in a fair and expeditious way, issues like correcting discharge paperwork and removing the “homosexual” characterization. But the cornerstone of SLDN’s mission since our founding in 1993 has been to provide legal services to LGBT patriots – past and present – who are affected by DADT, as well as other forms of discrimination or harassment. Though the landscape in which these services will be provided will change following repeal, SLDN remains committed to helping service members, their families and veterans safely navigate the new terrain. Indeed, since repeal legislation was signed in December 2010, we have received hundreds of calls from service members fired under DADT, as well as others who now want to serve their country. Questions range from those who wish to see their discharge paperwork changed or who want to apply for re-accession to the armed services, to others who have never served but want to join the military for the first time. To answer these questions and more, SLDN unveiled Freedom to Serve: The Definitive Guide to LGBT Military Service – a firstof-its-kind comprehensive new legal guide for LGBT service members, their families, veterans, and future recruits. The guide provides an overview of laws and policies related to military service in the U.S. following DADT repeal, as well as practical information for advocates and friends of LGBT patriots. Addressing issues like standards of conduct, benefits, and discharge upgrades, it also enables members of the LGBT military community to better understand how to protect themselves if they are targeted on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity. As we continue to advance LGBT equality in the military, SLDN and our coalition partners will remain on the frontlines. We are honored to fight alongside OutServe, and it is with pride and renewed determination that we carry on the march toward liberty and justice that inspired the pioneers of equality before us. Together, we will continue to change history. For more information, or to seek legal guidance or services from SLDN, please visit www.sldn.org.
Paid advertisment.