Over The Edge Volume 23, Issue 3

Over The Edge

UNBC’s Independent Student Newspaper est. 1994

Winter is Coming (soon)

Volume 23, Issue 3

Free overtheedgenewspaper.ca

October 18, 2016 ote-newspaper@unbc.ca

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Next deadline: November 9

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If “grab her by the pussy” is the hill on which his campaign will die, so be it, but the reasoning behind many people’s outrage is emblematic of the same problem that led to this living, breathing nacho chip feeling like he was allowed to (allegedly) sexually assault women and (not allegedly) brag about it afterwards. Powerful men across America declared that “As a husband/ father/grandfather/brother/other familial relation, I am outraged by Donald Trump’s words.” At least they’re angry, but they’re not angry for the right reasons.

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These men are upset not because a human being has been violated, but because Trump’s words devalue the worth of their relationships to women in general. It is a cynical view of the problem to only view how this problem affects yourself.

If this type of act or language becomes socially unacceptable, it will diminish the power these men have over women.

When you hear Trump’s words, don’t get angry because you have relationships with women, get angry because a human being, Nancy O’Dell, was violated.

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here has been much uproar amidst the accusations and revelations about the sentient racist spray tan running for President of the United States. It has been refreshing to see some Americans have an epiphany about the disgusting monster they’ve lifted to prominence, although too few of his supporters have had this realization and it is frustrating as an outsider to see that this is the final straw and not one of the many horrifically racist declarations he’s made during his campaign.

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Over The Edge is the University of Northern British Columbia’s independent student newspaper. Our office is located on the 2nd floor of the NUSC building in room 6-350.

We are an equal opportunity publication which represents students in the UNBC and Prince George community. Our publication supports student writing by welcoming news, arts, sports, culture and opinion articles, as well as photography, comics, and creative writing submissions.

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News

Braille Device Stolen From Visually Impaired Student Originally published on Oct. 4, 2016 on overtheedgenewspaper.ca Colin Slark Editor In Chief

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ometime between 4 pm on October 3 and 9 am on October 4, someone took something. This something is shaped like a laptop, has a QWERTY keyboard like a laptop, but is more than a laptop. It is one UNBC student’s essential tool for participating in their classes. Shea Anker, an undergraduate anthropology student, is as she puts it: “Pretty much totally blind.” Despite this, she can often be seen confidently navigating campus with a white cane. Because of her vision impairment, she cannot use regular laptops for note taking and coursework and instead uses a specialized device called a Braille Sense for those tasks, which was stolen, along with a laptop bag containing installation discs for adaptive technology, and a couple flash drives from her Teaching and Learning Building locker sometime between her last class on Monday and first class on Tuesday. “The first thing I noticed was the lock was gone,” said Anker. “When I did a more careful examination I noticed that the laptop bag and my Braille Sense were gone.”

Thick, notebook computer sized, and roughly laptop shaped and carried in a dark imitation leather case with zippers, the Braille Sense is a device that has a standard keyboard and below it a row of cells making up a Braille display. It allows Shea to write and then read what she has written. “I take most of my notes with it,” said Anker, “most of the notes from my two Anthropology classes are gone. It’s a big thing that I need for passing my midterms and finals.”

It is an incredibly helpful tool, but only for those with vision impairment and a fluency in Braille. Anker has the sound as well as the video output capabilities switched off, so a sighted person wouldn’t be able to find any use for the device, even if they managed to figure out how to turn it on. Unfortunately, a replacement unit would cost almost 6,000 American dollars according to manufacturer HIMS International’s website.

A Happy Ending Colin Slark Editor In Chief

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ome stories do end happily. After visually impaired student Shea Anker had her Braille Sense device, which allows Shea to type and read the results in Braille, stolen along with a few other things from her locker earlier this month, the Prince George community has come through to help her. The replacement cost for a Braille Sense device like the one Anker had has a retail cost of nearly $6,000 USD. She might have been able to get the provincial government to help her purchase a new device, but it was uncertain. After all of Prince George’s news sources reported on the story, word of Anker’s plight reached many ears.

A project on gofundme.com set a goal to raise $6,000 to help Anker buy a new device, but as of when this article was being written, had surpassed the $10,000 mark in a week with 94 people chipping in. One individual, Rory Henry, donated $5,000 by themselves.

After the disheartening theft of her belongings, Anker says that this outpouring of support has “[Reaffirmed] my faith in the goodness of humanity.” Anker would like to thank everyone who has helped her, and is looking forward to getting a new Braille Sense - and maybe a couple new accessibility devices if there is money left over.

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UNBC Life

UNBC Senate Meeting Sept. 28 Sam Wall News Editor

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n an attempt to remain current on the inner workings of our university, Over The Edge will be attending and reporting on the happenings of the monthly senate meetings.

The Senate is one of two governing bodies under the Office of the University Secretariat, the other being the Board of Governors.

It consists of the university’s President, Chancellor, faculty members, students, and many others. According to the University Act, the Senate is granted several powers, such as approving revisions of courses, preparing the university budget, and awarding scholarships and bursaries. If you’d like to join me and learn more about how UNBC is governed, come check out a Senate meeting. A list of the days that Senate meets can be found at http://www.unbc.ca/governance/senate/ meeting-schedule; usually this is the last Wednesday of a month.

This month’s meeting on September 28th emphasized student recruitment and plans for improving it, and the university’s budget, as well as discussions of partnerships with other universities, changes to courses in the Master of Education program, Action Planning groups, and Academic Planning groups.

After opening this session of Senate with an approval of the Senate minutes from the previous month’s meeting, Dr. Dan Ryan, Interim Vice President Academic

and Provost, gave a 30 minute presentation regarding student recruitment. This details UNBC’s attempts to grow through budget problems associated with attracting students.

In Prince George, recruitment has been successful, with students attending from this area at the expected rate. At the same time, recruitment rates in the surrounding area of

As the majority of those who drop out of school are in their first year, it is of great importance to strengthen the first year experience. As well, UNBC is interested in increasing the numbers of international students recruited, and creating pathways to UNBC by marketing in the lower mainland and other places. Dr. Ryan also suggested

blogs.unbc.ca

northern BC are following a downward trend.

In the 2015/2016 academic year, UNBC had a 3.4 million dollar deficit, after a few years of expenses being higher than revenues. In order to correct this, the university must attract 125 students directly from high school, 125 students transferring from other post-secondary institutions, and 50 students beginning their graduate studies. The goal is to have 3,443 student enrolled at UNBC by the beginning of the next academic year.

that spending restraints and strategic investments by the university could help balance the budget. The priorities here are to enhance the research culture of the university, ensure financial accountability, sustainability, and operational effectiveness, as well as enhance the quality and impact of academic programming and delivery.

Overall, these plans for improvement aim to attract, retain, and develop outstanding students, staff, and faculty.

Though recruitment and the budget were the main topics for this Senate meeting, other topics were discussed as well. The Academic Planning Action Groups are still in the works to find members of the university community to fill positions as a way of engaging with students.

Plans to unveil the new sign in Carrier by the turnoff to UNBC were discussed, as a Memorandum of Understanding between the university and the Lheidli T’enneh First Nation were signed later that week. Dr. Daniel Weeks, President and Vice Chancellor of UNBC, has plans to connect and partner with other universities to market Prince George as a post-secondary destination. Several small adjustments to classes in the Master of Education program were approved, as well as some new scholarships and bursaries. To read more about the updates to the MEd program and new scholarships and bursaries check out the Senate meeting minutes for September 28th, available at the link in the first paragraph. As well, the Senate Committee on First Nations and Aboriginal Peoples has been looking at the idea of a mandatory class about Indigenous Peoples. So far they’ve been doing research on required classes at other universities. Senate meeting are a great way to learn more about what’s happening at UNBC. Don’t take our word for it, come check out the next meeting on October 26th!

Sexual Assault Policy FOI Sam Wall News Editor

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ast month, Over The Edge published an article detailing the University of Northern British Columbia’s new sexual assault policy. This policy creation was driven

by Bill 23: Sexual Violence and Misconduct Policy Act, which was introduced to British Columbia’s Legislature in April of this year.

All post-secondary institutions in British Columbia have a one year time frame

in which to create a stand-alone sexual assault policy for students. Prior to this, a Presidential Task Force was struck in the spring of 2014 to make recommendations on how UNBC could better approach issues of sexual violence on campus, which would fit into the creation of the new policy. On September 16th, thirteen recommendations were released, which can be viewed at www.

unbc.ca/sexual-violence-awareness-response.

However, the release of these recommendations has caused some dissatisfaction. The thirteen recommendations released by UNBC are a synthesis of reports written by each of the task force members. The Prince George Citizen has made a Freedom of

Information (FOI) Request to make the full reports of the Task Force members public, rather than just the recommendations. The Freedom of Information and Protection of Privacy Act (FOIPPA) allows members of the public to request copies of records that are not usually available from the B.C. Government or Office of the Premier.

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Sisters in Spirit Vigil Sam Wall News Editor

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n October 4th, the Sisters in Spirit Vigil was held in the Gathering Place at the College of New Caledonia. These vigils are held across Canada in a variety of forms every October 4th to honour and remember Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls.

Though this is a nationwide tragedy, there is an area of northern British Columbia that is notorious for these crimes: the Highway of Tears. This is the name for the section of Highway 16 from Prince Rupert to Prince George (sometimes the rest of the highway to Clinton, Alberta is also included), where at least 30, possibly as many as 60, Indigenous women and girls have gone missing or been murdered since 1969. As such, the Highway and it’s victims were a focus of the event, with several informational posters along the wall of the Gathering Place.

The evening began with an introduction from our MC, Stephanie Jack. We were then treated to a traditional welcoming and opening prayer by Darlene McIntosh.

Stephanie then directed us to start in on a potluck dinner, with food brought by the guests of the vigil.

The first half of the vigil featured several special guest speakers, beginning with Brenda Wilson. Brenda has been the Coordinator for the Highway of Tears Initiative through Carrier-Sekani Family Services for the last two years. She has been working to find justice for over twenty years for the missing and murdered women and girls of the Highway of Tears since her 16-year- old sister went missing from Smithers on June 11th, 1994. Her body was discovered in a wooded area near the Smithers airport on April 9th, 1995;

her murder has never been solved. Brenda spoke of feeling very alone in those times, and has since been a strong advocate for those who no longer have a voice.

Next to speak was Chris Branigan from the Moose Hide Campaign. The mission of the Moose Hide Campaign is to reach out to men in ending violence against women and children, particularly of Indigenous heritage.

To show your dedication to this mission, the Campaign provides small squares of moose hide to pin to your chest. Chris reached out to the audience with squares of moose hide for those who didn’t already have one.

UNBC student, Beaver Clan member, and domestic violence survivor Marion Erickson spoke next, describing the scar she has from the top of her head to her ear from domestic abuse. Marion says that her sister

saved her from dying in that situation. After this powerful speech, Terry Teegee, Tribal Chief of the Carrier Sekani Tribal Council, and cousin to Brenda and Ramona Wilson, shared some of the pain he experienced after Ramona’s murder. He also expressed frustration at the racism many Indigenous people experience from RCMP when their attempts to report a loved one missing or get help in finding them are brushed off.

The event continued with a powerful presentation from Tammy Meise-Geitz about the REDress Project. She was inspired when she saw the original REDress Project by the artist Jaime Black in 2010. The goal of the project is to create a nationwide art installation, where 600 red dresses are hung in cities across Canada as a visual reminder of the astounding number of

women who are no longer with us. Tammy was inspired by this project, as one of her friends had been murdered. She decided to bring the project to Prince George, where she invited people to join her on the highway with a red dress. Tammy ended up with 85 people joining her on the highway, far more than she had expected.

Following the speakers was a moment of silence for all of those lost. The second half of the vigil was dedicated to celebrating life, as several performers took the stage.

First up where the Khast’an Drummers, who drummed and sang a few songs in Dakelh. “Khast’an” means fireweed in the Lheidli dialect of Dakelh. Their goal is to promote language, history, and culture through song and dance. Following the Drummers were dancers from Burns Lake, Kelsie Abraham and Tracy Peter. Kelsie went first, wearing regalia including eagle feathers and pieces that jangled as he danced. He dedicated the first dance to his aunt, and the second to missing and murdered Indigenous women. Tracy Peter performed next, wearing a jingle dress and doing a side-step dance.

They took turns explaining the significance of their clothing and their dancing as healing.

Kyle Sam then sang the Women’s Honour Song with the help of the Khast’an Drummers. To end the evening, Candice George sang and drummed a few songs with an elder who had been her mentor. Overall, it was an evening of solidarity, with about one hundred people occupying the Gathering Place. The Vigil provided a place for mourning as much as it did for celebration.

Sam Wall | OTE

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Student Life

Freshman (Negative) Fifteen Jade Szymanski Contributor

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e’ve been waiting for this moment our whole lives pals; we’ve finally moved away and have the freedom to choose what we eat. At first it can be super exciting with the unlimited meal plan to stock up on onion rings and pizza. With the cafeteria open 16 hours every weekday (and 14 hours on the weekends), the opportunities to carbo-load are greater and even more fun than making new friends, mom. We as fellow freshman get it, eating is way more fun than socializing with that weird kid from your history class, and even a great way to get over your high school sweetheart who went to university 4 provinces over. However, eating without balance or moderation isn’t so jiffy and will only lead to you becoming a stereotype of a chubby little freshman who succumbed to THE FRESHMAN FIFTEEN. As I left for university and was saying goodbye to my little beansprout of a brother, I expected him to shed a tear for the loss of a great older sister who would drive him to get bubble tea every other day. What I did not expect was for him to say was: “See you at Christmas time, I can’t wait to see for you to get fat!”. He thought he was being clever, but guess what Kyle, you were my inspiration to get in the best shape of my life, twerp. The first few days were honestly so easy because I had my mind set on a goal and was innocent from temptation. I planned to (and still do!) go to the gym every day, alternating between weights and cardio.

As for my diet, the first couple of days I literally only ate salad. The pizza and burgers were luring but I actually started to enjoy adding quirky new toppings on my salad like cauliflower (how exotic), peppers (so colourful), and shredded carrots (I never had the time to shred carrots when I was at home!). Quickly, I realized this was a horrible idea as I needed protein and energy to have a good workout at the gym. I started adding some lean protein to my

Column Solicitation Sam Wall News Editor

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ver the Edge has decided to start a new column! We want to hear questions from students about anything to do with the university experience at UNBC. This could include any unanswered questions you might have about life, work, or studies at UNBC. When you submit a question, we will do our best to find the appropriate staff member/faculty member/graduate student/alumni/community member to give you answers. An example would be: Why are faculty members seldom in their offices? What do faculty do all day? What do alumni miss most about UNBC once they’ve graduated? Send your questions to samuwall91@gmail.com!

meals like roasted chicken, seasoned turkey breasts, or succulent roast beef. At first making these decisions on your own can be difficult when there are glistening grilled cheeses and chicken fingers teasing your every move, but I promise you that the end goal is worth it and you feel so good late at night when you know you haven’t just ingested 12 pounds of lard.

As for beverages, I still haven’t even touched the soda machine. Michelle Obama is a strong advocate of drinking 2L of water a day and since I’m a sucker for a woman with great arm muscles, I decided that I should listen to her. Surprisingly, drinking 2L of water a day is not so difficult when the caf supplies fancy fruit-infused water just like what they have in the lobbies at 5 star hotels. So far my favourite flavour has been the strawberry lemon one, but for the love of god please never try the cucumber one; it tastes like liquefied cucumbers which is not so shockingly comparable to a funeral in your mouth. Now I will not lie, I’ve had a couple of cheat days where I’ve indulged my wildest dreams and feasted on cheesy potatoes and creamy pastas. The point of this article though isn’t to promote unhealthy eating habits by starving yourself or going on fad diets. What’s important is to understand balance and proper nutrition when making decisions for yourself now that you are an adult who’s making somewhat adult decisions. Don’t focus on the numbers on a scale but rather what signals your body is telling you. If you’re feeling lumpy, eat a fruit and walk to Shane Lake. If you feel you’re lacking energy, drink some water and ditch the greasy fries.

As for me, I’m actually planning to gain fifteen pounds during my freshman year; I’ve been squatting at the gym and am hoping to gain fifteen pounds of pure muscle mass in the gluteus region! If you can dream it you can do it.

DON’T LET YOUR GOOD GRADES GO TO WASTE - APPLY ONLINE STARTING OCTOBER 15Th FOR THE 2017-2018 UNBC AWARDS COMPETITION Did you know that last year 499 Merit-based awards (based on good grades) and 599 Needsbased awards (based on financial need) were given out to UNBC students?

Apply using the online award applications via your Student Online Services / Financial Aid / Award Application portal via http://www.unbc.ca/current-students for an opportunity to receive both merit-based and needs-based awards.

Don’t be fooled... although many awards are geared toward residents of northern BC, certain groups and particular programs don’t miss out on applying for the ones that aren’t - like the UNBC InCourse Bursary valued at $1,200 and the UNBC In-Course Scholarship valued at $1,500.

Award Categories & Deadlines Are: Early Entrance Awards (students coming from High School for Sept 2017 Entry): Dec 15th *Graduate Entrance Scholarships: Dec 15th (Sep/May entry) / May 1st (Jan entry) *Graduate Entrance Research Awards: Dec 15th (Sep/May entry) / May 1st (Jan entry) Entrance Awards: March 1st, 2017 In-Course Awards: March 1st, 2017 General Awards: March 1st, 2017 Graduate Awards: March 1st, 2017 Online Awards Application Workshop: Open to undergraduate and graduate students. If you are unsure how to apply for UNBC Awards come and take part in the above workshop – November 1, 2016 3:00-4:00pm Teaching & Learning Building Rm 10-4072 * For these ones, go to www.unbc.ca/financial-aid “Graduate Awards for application instructions.

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Your Chances of Being Eaten Hiking this Weekend

Student Life

James Eckstein Contributor

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he fall is arguably one of the best times of the year to go hiking. The air is crisp, the colours of the falling leaves are fantastic, it can be an excellent workout, and when out with friends it can even become a social event. With all the upsides associated with hiking, it’s a surprise the number of people that never get around to doing any. There are those who simply don’t enjoy the outdoors, and the ones who have to spend the weekend working or studying for five different midterms that just so “coincidentally” seem to land on the same day. However, the excuse that stands out is that they do not want to get eaten. While seeming quite ludicrous at first, the longer the thought lingers, the more plausible it becomes. Being situated in the centre of British Columbia, the Prince George wilderness is filled with predators, ranging from the mighty grizzly all the way down to the adorable fox. In all seriousness, out of all the animals lurking on Prince George’s hiking trails, the only ones that have any potential to eat you would be bears, cougars, and wolves.

At the top of this would have to be bears, more specifically the grizzly or black bear.

While attacks are quite rare, since 2010 there has been sixteen reported deaths from attacks in North America. It is quite interesting to note that almost all of these fatalities occurred from the victim being out in the bush by themselves. Only two of these deaths were located in B.C, and thankfully nowhere near Prince George.

However, the majority of the time during an encounter with a bear, it will be even

more terrified and the last thing on its mind is the idea of a tasty meal. Even with this information, the greatest deterrent to avoid encountering a bear would be to hike in a group, make plenty of noise, and essentially make sure not to surprise a bear.

No one can argue that the idea of being stalked through the woods by a cougar isn’t terrifying. Thankfully the chances of ending up this situation are slim to none. The last recorded fatal cougar attack in North America was all the way back in 2008. Much like with bears, the greatest way to avoid a cougar attack is to simply make lots of noise and avoid hiking alone, as a cougar will almost never attack multiple prey at once.

The cougar in this case is quite literally a pussy cat. If the threat of being attacked by a cougar seemed underwhelming, the wolf comes in at the back of the pack as a bit of a farce.

There have only been two fatal wolf attacks in North America since the turn of the century, and neither of them was anywhere near Prince George. The same technique for scaring off a big dog could be applied for a wolf, but that’s even if the wolf has let itself be seen. In fact, a random hiker’s dog poses a much greater threat than any wolf.

At the end of the day, while the idea of being attacked by one of these animals is quite slim, the reality is unfortunately still there. By far the one greatest strategy to avoid winding up as someone’s dinner would be to always travel in a group, or at least with an animal companion. If all else fails, the possibility of tripping a friend and running away is always viable.

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Culture

The Art of Dream Interpretation Jordan Tucker Contributor

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ast night I played host to a dream, that like many of the dreams I have, was terrifying and visceral. I dreamt that two of my friends had died. In this horrible dream, it was simultaneously the apocalypse, and the survival of the remaining members of my group of friends depended on following two swarthy strong men around as we attempted to find our way to Quiznos. Earthquakes were causing buildings to fall everywhere, but somehow mediocre sandwiches with complimentary pickles were the answer to this unforeseen international crisis.

Our two friends had died suddenly, but not surprisingly. Brent, a gentle and soft spoken fellow, had tragically succumbed to the vague, cancer-like illness we had

known about but for some reason never really mentioned before this apocalypse - millennials, too distracted by their instagrams and hashtweets and snapchats to notice their friends, am I right? Our second friend, Jack, had been, as usual, partying hearty with a pack of wild things from Fort St. John at a Hawaiian themed street party near the Lambda downtown when he decided to start dancing on the hood of a police vehicle. “Jagerbombs!” He screamed, and the police gunned him down, blood bursting from his chest as if from an overshaken cola tossed in the road. Red stained the festive hula girls on his hawaiian shirt.

It seemed, even in my dream-state, to be a bit of an overreaction. Although, to be fair,

some people can be extremely aggressive dancers, and the threatening nature of a hawaiian shirt never be downplayed.

Anyways, my friends were dead but somehow I wasn’t particularly surprised. I had a lot on my plate, between the falling chunks of concrete and the screeching of steel beams, not to mention Quiznos limited hours and hard-to-access locations.

So I was dealing with a lot.

In my dream, I witnessed both death events but wasn’t a part of them. And so I had somehow, out of all of the possible parents or grief counsellors, been chosen to break the horrible news to someone who was, in my dream, the girlfriend of the party animal Jack and the roommate of the ignored sickly friend, Brent. I obviously was very qualified, competent, and confident.

“Sooooo...”

I started off, in

girlish-confidante tones, like how a girl might ask another girl what brand of cotton twat-plugs she uses, in a tampon commercial where the superiorlytamponed girl is wearing all white and the inquiring frizzy-haired beta is wearing an outfit that somehow consists entirely of six pairs of black frumpy sweatpants.

“How’s it going with Jack?” This seemed a good way to address the difficult topic.

“Ohhh....” She looked up at me coyly, smiled.

“It’s going really well. At first I thought it was just going to be a fleeting thing. I mean, he’s drunk all the time so I didn’t see much capacity for real intimacy. But since we got together, he’s started drinking a lot less and now I’m seeing a side of him that’s a lot less guarded and a lot more genuine. He’s really emotionally giving and it feels like I’m fully myself around him - we’re just really in sync and he’s my favourite person in every room. I’m trying not to rush things but my intuition tells me that this relationship is really going to help each of us grow, and give us the confidence and support we need to really thrive in our goals and ambitions.”

She beamed at me like a fully emotionallyfulfilled beacon. Her heart was practically bursting through her chest, like some sort of Oprah-infused Care Bear. I began to grimace slightly and feel less than confident in my ability to do my anointed duty. “So you haven’t had any fights, then?” I asked, deadpan, my lip curling. We’d never make it to Quiznos on time. “I mean, we had a brief disagreement over which names we’re going to give the baby I forgot to tell you I’m having... I wanted to name it after his father, who inspires him to be vulnerable while today.com still retaining

Culture his masculinity, and he wanted to name it after my father, who raised me to recognize the good in people. But we ultimately compromised on naming it after our mutual friend Brent, who told us to listen to our hearts and trust in our love.” She continued to glow, like a jacko-lantern lit by a fulfilling relationship.

I tried one last time, hoping to avoid the possibility of tears. I had one package of kleenex and wanted to save them for my tears, when we inevitably missed out on ordering delicious sandwiches because she was going to make it all about her and her stupid boyfriend.

“So, you’ve never had any screaming fights where you tossed plates at each other’s horrible stupid heads, hating the other person so much that you screamed at them ‘I WISH YOU WOULD CRAWL BACK UP YOUR MOTHER AND SHE WOULD ABORT YOU AND YOU WOULD DIE YOU WASTE OF FUCKING STARDUST’ but really, in the quietest part of yourself, you wished that you had the self-esteem to learn to stand on your own two feet and wait for a more compatible partner, one who really fulfilled you and met you on your own terms as an individual person?” She shook her head, blinked.

“No, we really like each other. He’s like my best friend. I’m obsessed with his perspectives and who he is.”

“So you’ve never wished him dead? Like, at all?”

“No, he’s my favourite person in the whole world.”

I rolled my eyes. She was making this so difficult.

“Look, it’s too bad you feel that way,” I began...

After all the crying and sobbing and whatever, we did not, obviously, make it to Quiznos. My friend sat down and sniffled softly, tears dripping onto what was her apparently pregnant belly. I had thought she was just fat, but I was wrong. Turns out, there’s a first time for everything.

She wiped her eyes and looked up at me through blackened mascara streaks.

“Do you think Brent would mind if I named the baby after Jack instead of him?” She said, in a quiet voice. I patted her simple head. There was so much

she didn’t know about the world.

“Not at all,” I said, not unkindly. “I forgot to tell you, Brent died of cancer yesterday.”

Her mouth and eyes became three perfect wide circles… My dream ended there, when my alarm woke me and I lurched into another wretched day of living. Cats streamed off of my bed in an endless torrent as I kicked the covers off, scrambling for my phone. I checked my group chat and was delighted to see that Brent and Jack were still alive, happily firing obscene emojis at one another as if they hadn’t just died in the nightmare palace of my mind. I texted another friend about it. “That is a very dark thing you have dreamed, friend Jordan,” his text soberly intoned. Well, no shit, but it’s not like I literally killed them. Besides, it was the dream cancer and brutality of a corrupt dream police force that got them, not even dream me. I can’t be held accountable for every single way my brain chooses to process the horrors of my waking life that I repress, just to pitifully crawl through what is barely recognizable as another “day” on this wretched earth. It shouldn’t be called a day if it stretches on forever, am I right?

Anyways, all of this horrible day I’ve been pondering the topic of dreams. Apparently, they’re necessary for cognitive functioning-some sort of id and ego recycling picture show that sifts through stuff that burbles up during your waking hours. Weird associations from our childhood or things that our truer selves think, but can’t bring up in polite society (or whatever you call Prince George, hyuk hyuk) get sunk down like a forgotten four day old diaper in a swamp and used as fertile fodder for the projection screen of our dreams.

Some people think that you can buy “dream dictionaries” that will tell you exactly what each thing appearing in your dreams means, but most of this is based on Freudian psychology. Freud by and large invented psychology, and society does owe a huge debt to him. However, psychologists who built off of his large body of work came to the conclusion that Freud was mostly crazy when it came to dream symbols, and may have been projecting somewhat when it came to the section entitled “From White Dresses to Waterfalls—Why everything means that you want to boink your mother.”

Freud’s work was mostly like a Kinder

surprise - good in theory and overall production, but you’ll choke on the small parts if you try to consume it completely.

The industry of dream dictionaries is not entirely the fault of Freud. There’s a whole legion of well-meaning (at least, I assume) hippie types who churn out book after book of “dream decoding” guides. They promise to be new and updated, but somehow I really doubt that a publishing date of 2015 is going to get the definition of “Apocalypse” to fit my precise situation with a definition of, “this signifies that you’ve been hoovering up too many articles about the American presidential election to avoid thinking about your anxieties about the perceived foundations of your own life crumbling.

Spend more time being intentional about your relationships and practicing self-care.”

As well, they just seem way too geared to 25 year old women with wanderlust tattoos to have application on a wide variety of lives. “Beaches bring to mind travel, and the swimming seas of the unconscious being brought to the surface.” Book, you don’t even know me. What if I were a former cast member of Baywatch, and dreams of the beach brought to mind the humdrum of everyday routine and a passionless job being forced to watch David Hasselhoff’s abs ripple menacingly at me? Or worse, what if I were a refugee, and the beach brought to mind a terrible choice to make while fleeing a civil war? There’s no way one writer, “intuitive” or not, can create a definition of every person’s unconscious interpretation of every situation in their life. I tell you, it’d be a very boring world if every single person had the sort of black-traced-feather tattoo personality necessary to automatically equate beaches only with vacations. The first thing I think of when I hear “beach” is “Normandy,” and no matter what disparaging things Donald Trump has to say about veterans or prisoners of war, I’m pretty sure that was no vacation.

That’s not to say that attempting to interpret your dreams is invalid. There are genuine insights to be gained from contemplating the emotions we can experience more honestly in our dreams. Some people see dreaming as something to pay attention to religiously - they keep dream journals to write in as soon as they wake up, and try to pull insights from their subconscious mind as quickly as possible, before they forget.

9

They see dreams as a way of accessing their deeper intuition. Certain Indigenous people and groups see dreams as ways of receiving messages from long passed ancestors.

Some people are completely on the other end of the spectrum, and will dismiss dreams entirely, as though the emotions inspired by whatever unconscious process you’re undergoing in REM sleep are completely ignorable. You’ll wake up screaming and they’ll say, “it doesn’t matter, go back to sleep, it was just a dream”, as though your mother didn’t just die in your head. These people might prefer to not dream at all, because the confusing emotional state that you come upon when you awake is, after all, not directly applicable to the oncoming day. These are the same types of people who will tell you your pet doesn’t have feelings or emotions despite its wagging tail, or will propose to their future spouse with a combined-income spreadsheet detailing the benefits of a legally-binding mutual trajectory. These people are called robotic psychopaths and shouldn’t be trusted with anything. They hate birthdays and Halloween costumes and will tell you, unasked, if your makeup looks bad on your wedding day. There has got to be a better way than reacting how these broken people do, but at least you can gain satisfaction in knowing that their Vulcan tendencies will never allow them to experience true joys.

I tend to fall somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. I don’t let my dreams completely overpower my day, but if I feel a strong emotion or note some obvious themes, I pay attention. Say, for example, maybe my boyfriend is at the other end of a fragile bridge made of ice and my mother’s literal anger and disappointment that grows more breakable the closer I get to him, but I have to get to him to make the bridge heal itself... That’s a very charged dream with obvious subconscious tones.

I might then think about the very literal message there... Obviously, that politicians have to be more inclined to cross the aisle and work collaboratively instead of bickering and creating controversies to increase partisan voting. I don’t know about you, but I feel a lot better now that we’ve worked through my dream together. I hope we’ve all learned something together.

10

Opinion

I See, I Want, iPhone Danielle Toth Contributor

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hey bend, they rip out chunks of your hair, and they set themselves on fire – but that doesn’t stop over 700 million people in the world from buying iPhones. While Apple’s trademark product is far from the only smartphone on the market, it has become symbolic of our materialistic society in a way that the Motorola Razr never could.

In early September, the iPhone 7s and the iPhone 7 Plus were released. Thousands of people flocked to stores around the world to get their hands on the newest cell phone; some people started camping outside the stores weeks in advance. In the past, PCR, a UK-based tech giant, even reported some people selling their places in iPhone release line-ups for up to $2,500.

Most people chuckle at these die-hard “iFans” when they see them camped out in line for a new cell phone on the six o’clock news, but they’re more than just oddball enthusiasts – they’re extreme examples of the consumer-mania that dominates society.

In fact, the iPhone is consumerism incarnate.

Since it hit the market in June 2007, over nine new models have been introduced.

Over nine years, there have been ten phone releases: the iPhone 3G, the iPhone 3GS, the iPhone 4, the iPhone 4S, the iPhone 5, the iPhone 5S and the iPhone 5C, the iPhone 6 and the iPhone 6 Plus, the iPhone 6S and the iPhone 6S Plus, and now the iPhone 7 and the iPhone 7 Plus. Ten phones in nine years has destroyed the notion of what “enough” is.

swipe of a finger. Now, we’ve passed into luxury territory: your phone is a camera, a GPS, an MP3 player, a web-browser, and so much more. And with this incredible potential of unlimited knowledge at our fingertips, we play Candy Crush.

repair.” Paired with the iPhone’s lack of durability and the screen’s susceptibility to shattering with a drop from small heights, the iPhone is the perfect example of builtin obsolescence – the product is not meant to last for more than two or three years.

But the truth is, nobody really needs the latest and greatest iPhone. There is no good reason for somebody who has a perfectly good iPhone 6 to buy an iPhone 6S. But just because we don’t need it, doesn’t mean we don’t want it. Apple knows this all too well.

The manufacturer brings out new versions of the iPhone far more frequently than any other major brand with only minor changes in function. But the software giant has no problem marketing and selling their outrageously priced phones because Wow, this model is even thinner! and Oh my God, it comes in rose gold, no way!

But when it comes to innovation, the iPhone is a masterpiece. The Apple marketing team understands that the best way to make your product succeed is to make your product obsolete and irrelevant, both technologically and fashionably. Novelty is the key. Apple built an entire culture around a young and growing consumer base that wanted a product that was shiny, stylish, and exciting.

Then, they projected their product to be practical and useful, catering to society’s egocentric needs (it is the iPhone after all, not the usPhone).

Each new iPhone is shinier, more stylish, and more exciting than the last one.

This novelty is what keeps consumers dropping their perfectly fine phones to replace them with newer ones.

Apple has faced merciless criticism for planned obsolescence, encouraging frequent upgrades, monopolizing markets (a specialized charger compared to a universal Android charging port, for instance, even removing a headphone jack for the iPhone 7), incompatibility with other software providers such as Microsoft (they’ve even invented their own programming language, Swift), and more. The California tech giant is well-known for their motto of “replace, don’t

phones are very useful, and most people couldn’t imagine going a week without one – myself included. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, either. Phones facilitate our lives and offer endless services and instant connection to the world around us. In the same way, Apple’s not a bad company. They’ve developed products that have innovated and pushed technology forward, becoming an industry leader and revolutionizing mobile phone standards.

But next time you go to buy a new phone, resist the need to buy for the sake of buying.

Shun the obsession with shiny and wasteful novelties. Embrace the concept of “enough.”

Obviously, mobile

Developers have long since mastered the basic ideals of a mobile phone with the mere ability to text and talk to people halfway across the world with the

o2online.de pngall.com

Student Life 11

Nerdlesque

Casting Complete Tierney Watkinson Distribution Coordinator

Sam Wall News Editor

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erdlesque, the burlesque show put on by local group the Foxxie Follies this past Saturday, was an excellent initiation into the world of performance art. This unique show combined the fun and titillation of burlesque with all of your favorite nerdy delights. The event was held at the Eagles Hall in the Hart area of Prince George, which included a bar prepared for cocktail hour at 7:30.

The show started at 9 pm with the introduction of our MC, who was dressed as Batman and couldn’t stop making bat puns all evening. He introduced the first two nerds, Sasparilla Foxx and Brandy Wine, who began their act contained in a cardboard box made to look like a giant box of Nerds candies. Eventually they separated, continuing to dance along to the music and remove more than the cardboard boxes. Next we were introduced to Priscilla, the lovely stage sweeper who cleared the stage of props after every act.

After that the first half of the show was a wonderful blur of Crystal Vixen as comic book villain Harley Quinn, Laura Borealis as the sleek Catwoman, and Sasparilla Foxx as an incredibly alluring Poison Ivy. The final act of the first half was unique to say the least. First, a mysterious box was placed in the middle of the stage. The audience looked on, assuming the box would be used by the next performer in some way.

Then, the box slowly began to open, and out climbed a man in a purple suit and white and red face paint. The Joker, as performed by Dick Midnight, proceeded to put on a great show, the least of which was due to his status as the only man performing solo that night.

In the second half of the show, the MC turned into a man in a Pikachu costume,

calling himself “Creepachu,” and went on to add a particularly lewd aspect to the show. Sweet Sashay made her way to the stage for a performance as Louise from Bob’s Burgers, complete with rabbit ears and mustard and ketchup bottles. Next up was Brandy Wine, shooting webs over all the boys as Spider-Woman. Sasparilla Foxx performed once again, as a very memorable Misty from Pokemon. Her performance was aided by a unique song choice, and a Squirtle squirt gun, which she held between her legs and sprayed the crowd with.

To wrap the evening, several of the performers went up one by one to do a group show. The girls were dressed up as various types of fruit, including grapes, a pumpkin, a watermelon, and a pineapple.

The final performance also included some of the men who had assisted at various parts of the show, creating a dynamic ending. The Foxxie Follies are an offshoot of the Bottoms Up Baring Burlesque group from Quesnel, led by Sasparilla Foxx. They have been performing monthly in Quesnel as Bottoms Up for the last three years, and have recently brought their talent to Prince George as the Foxxie Follies.

The group truly embody the spirit of burlesque in being inclusive of people of any gender and any body type. The Foxxie Follies have set up a monthly performance schedule, with the first of these occurring on September 10th at the Eagles Hall.

Future performances include November 19th at the Eagles Hall, December 17th at Artspace, January 21st at the Treasure Cove Show Lounge, February 10th at the Treasure Cove Show Lounge, and in April they hold their Itty Bitty Burlesque Festival.

From Epic Win Burlesque bentrivett.com

from right to left: Hazel Honeysuckle, Mr. Gorgeous, BB Heart, Magdalena Fox, Miss Mary Cyn, Nasty Canasta, Fem Appeal

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ot a single person who auditioned for the Musical Productions Club shows this year was lacking in talent; UNBC is home to a great number of gifted musicians, singers, and dancers. This year, unlike in previous years, auditions were held on two separate weekends, to allow for more interested students to attend. After the initial round of auditions, callbacks were held for many roles, the casting for which often left the judging panel emotionally torn--having to choose between two (or more) people who both seemed so right for a part was the toughest part of the process.

This year’s main show will be Young Frankenstein, a Mel Brooks musical production. Originally a 1974 film starring the late great Gene Wilder, the Broadway musical came into existence in 2007. Brooks wrote the songs for the musical himself, but he and Wilder wrote the film’s screenplay together.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein finds out that he stands to inherit his grandfather Victor Frankenstein’s estate, so he travels to Transylvania to claim it. Although he initially abhors his grandfather’s famous work, the young Frankenstein proves incredibly susceptible to peer pressure.

Although, to be fair, he is just really excited by science. Young Frankenstein is a comedic parody of the horror genre; the musical is full of deadpan humour, brilliant sexual innuendo, and songs that are ridiculously catchy and even downright beautiful. Just wait until you hear “Deep Love”, folks.

So pure. So elegant. It touches you.

The club will also be bringing back its tribute show for A Very Potter Musical! For those of you who don’t know that Harry Potter has its very own musical, get on the YouTube. For those of you who don’t know about Harry Potter at all, stop the damn texting and pick up a book once in awhile.

A Very Potter Musical (AVPM) is not exactly like the books, however. It, like Young Frankenstein, is a parody. But it is a parody written by people who love the Harry Potter universe. The play was produced by Starkid Productions and first shown at the University of Michigan in 2009; the music

and lyrics were written by Darren Criss (that one guy from Glee) and A. J. Holmes (that one guy from somewhere). Criss also starred as Harry in the musical. UNBC Musical Productions will be performing excerpts from the play in honour of its brilliance, as part of this semester’s upcoming Harry Potter Pub night. Date and location are TBA. If you miss out this time, don’t panica sequel will be shown next semester!

Young Frankenstein will be presented by the club at the end of the school year. Rehearsals, until then, will be held weekly as the club works to make this show the best it can possibly be.

Veronica Church and Jasmine Eadie are the club’s co-presidents this year; Eadie is also the choreographer. Lluvia Lopez is the Treasurer, and Tierney Watkinson is Vice President (she feels awkward not only about mentioning her own name, but also about mentioning her own name in third person.

Watkinson would like to add that she is the only member of the executive who has not really done much of anything but thanks her fellows for letting her have a title).

Neil Brooks is making his debut as director, trading in last year’s Granny wig for a clipboard. New to the team this year is a set of stage managers: Jackson Talbot and Tim Hillier. Although this is a new position and the guidelines are still in the making, their bodies are ready, as are their walkie-talkies.

This year promises excellent shows with excellent people--to keep updated on show dates and other club happenings, follow the “UNBC Musical Productions” Facebook page. If you would like to become involved with the club, it is not too late to help with the set building, with lighting, or to be a chorus member or extra! Contact the club presidents at unbcmusical@ gmail.com if you are interested.

12

Culture

The Pursuit of Perfection Colin Slark Editor In Chief

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wo figures crept along the edge of the cold, dimly lit room. Though the light was dim, the floor shone, the metal of the tables gleamed, and diffused reflections glared off of the rack of what looked like oversized metal cabinet drawers embedded in the wall. One of the figures, a tall man, stopped, flipped through pages on a clipboard, and stabbed a finger at something on one of the pages. He then looked over at one of the drawers, pulled his glasses down to look over them and made a “tsk” noise. Not finding the correct result, he continued along the wall. The other figure, a short woman, rolled her eyes and rubbed her temples with her hand. This was not the first stop the man had made, nor, she expected, the last.

“My apologies ma’am,” the man droned, “I could have sworn that I put your brother in the northwestern quadrant.

My organization system, well, it’s usually flawless.” The woman rolled her eyes.

“You know, I designed it myself. It took me years. I started with Santana’s Theory of Matching and went on from there. I remember when I first got inspiration. The year was 1997. I was on the night shift and Star Trek Voyager was on-” he was cut off.

One of the woman’s hands darted out and grabbed the man by the wrist. “Uh, ma’am, that’s a little harder than I’d like.

Although, I could be convinced-” he was cut off again as the woman’s other hand lashed out and covered the man’s mouth.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to do this,” the woman apologized. “I try to avoid eating junk, but sometimes... you’re just in a rush.” The man’s eyes widened in horror.

The nails on the woman’s hands elongated and sharpened, jabbing into the flesh of the man’s arm and face. Blood pooled around the entry points, and started to flow downwards. There was a sucking noise, and the man’s features started to pull towards her fingers, as if 10 little vacuums were sucking at him. The man gave a final frightened look as his body flowed into hers like liquid. He disappeared, leaving behind a pile of clothing. The woman winced, this

wasn’t something she had wanted. She could feel her bones elongating and skin stretching. She shuddered and opened one eye. It wasn’t as bad as she had expected.

She seemed to be slightly taller, which was absolutely appreciated. Her teeth had gotten a bit crooked, which was not.

She picked up the clipboard and flipped through the pages, finding the name she had been looking for. At least the man had been correct, what she was searching for was indeed here. Unfortunately, it was listed as being in section “Q4A2 Beta,” which was gibberish as far as she was concerned. Sighing, she closed her eyes and concentrated. There was a lot of new knowledge present in her grey matter, surprisingly so. The man had been a fool, but a fool that knew an awful lot of trivia about the masters of Japanese cinema and the art of Jack Kirby. These were not things that she wanted to know, so she did her best to push them out of the way. Eventually she found the information concerning filing and organization. Of course! It made sense now.

She knew where her quarry lay. She made a mental note to make sure with haste that this filing system no longer make sense.

She strode over to the wall of drawers, and pulled one marked “DAVIS, CASSIDY” open. There it was. A pale corpse, still and serene. She thought the body was so-so, but God! That face! Everything was proportioned correctly. There was a strong jaw, pronounced cheekbones, and a nose that neither distracted from the other features or was unnoticeable. As the corpse’s skin had retracted, evidence that there might be a unibrow presented itself.

That was okay, that could be managed.

Perfection was hard to achieve but this would be such a step in the right direction.

She gently opened the eyelids. Gray-blue!

How exotic! This was a treat indeed.

She got into position and placed her hands on the corpse’s shoulders. Smiling, her nails extended, and what happened to the morgue attendant also happened to the corpse. It felt good. She felt right. She

reached for her bag, intending to grab her pocket mirror, but thought better. A place like this had to have something bigger, right? She looked back into the depths of her consciousness. There was a lot of new information about tax law. That could be helpful, but she looked deeper and accessed the attendant’s mind. There was a mirror in here, but there was also a computer with photo records of the “guests” in attendance.

She went into a closet a pulled out a large standup mirror on wheels, making sure to have the non-reflective side face her.

She took a deep breath, centered herself, and spun it around. Her jaw dropped in horror. There were two giant moles on the left side of her face, right under her left eye. They looked blotchy. Her nose had gotten bigger and was now like an iceberg jutting out of the ocean. Worst of all, her eyes were brown, plain, boring brown. She thundered over to the corpse, grabbing at the eyes. She accidentally squashed the first one, and in her examinations discovered a coloured contact lens. Her mind raced, that explained the eyes, but the rest...

A thought occurred to her and she dashed over to the morgue’s computer terminal. She entered the attendant’s password and looked up Cassidy Davis’ medical profile. There it was. Several entries listing various cosmetic surgeries done over the years. “Liar!” she screamed. “You told those reporters that everything was natural!” The woman once again concentrated, and summoned what she could of Cassidy Davis’ thoughts.

A sort of montage played. Davis and a client conspired to win a

case they were destined to lose by illicit means. Davis had been caught, her client was sentenced to prison. She went to sleep one night and never woke up. This was an unusual state of affairs for the woman. She always did research but in this case had been so seduced that she had decided to skip that part of the process. What a foolish mistake.

She stood up and walked over to an examining table, ripped it off the ground, and tossed it at a wall, denting the metal. 5 minutes later it looked as if a hand grenade had gone off inside the morgue. Walking over to one of the walls, the woman grabbed one of the freezer drawers by the handle, and ripped it clean out, throwing it on the floor. The body contained within spilled out stiffly. It dawned on her. She could fix this. She had an entire room of clay to add to her sculpture. Straightening her tie and jacket, she coolly strolled up to the computer, which had not been harmed, and opened a file. She hummed pleasantly.

“Hmm, excellent collarbone...” she muttered.

She started to feel cold, like icicles were stabbing her in the back. She picked up some kind of autographed hockey puck and overhand tossed it behind her. She heard a shattering sound and got to work.

wikimedia.org

Culture 13

6 Scary TV Episodes to Help Stave off Boredom Colin Slark Editor In Chief

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uring October, horror junkies reach for their movie collections to get their scare fix and rightfully so. Even though the horror genre is frequently filled with subpar jump scare-centric films, there are plenty of quality horror films to satisfy your cravings.

However, what if you don’t have 90 to 120 minutes to devote to a movie? It is time for midterms after all. Television has produced plenty of bite size chunks of high quality terror. Here are 6 scary tv episodes to help stave off boredom.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer - Season 4, Episode 10, “Hush” For a show that was ostensibly in the horror genre, Buffy was more often than not more horror-themed than truly frightening. It was still a quality show, but rarely featured truly terrifying moments. That is not the case in the series’ creepiest episode, “Hush.”

Sunnydale is invaded by tall, grey-skinned, skinny men in suits that float along the ground rather than walk. Their reign of terror leaves a body count and every Joss Whedon character’s worst nightmare comes true: everyone loses the ability to speak and deliver smart-ass quips. The so-called “Scooby Gang” must find a way to defeat these monsters without being able to verbally communicate in this tense episode.

Doctor Who - Season 9, Episode 11, “Heaven Sent” Hey, if you’re avoiding season 9 spoilers, maybe skip this entry. There have been a lot of scary episodes in Doctor Who since it returned to television in 2005, and the merits of those episode have been extolled so much that it is time for other episodes to get their just due. In “Heaven Sent”, the Doctor has been transported to a pocket

dimension that resembles a castle where he is chased by monsters out of his nightmares and forced to solve sinister puzzles. When he gets to the end of the labyrinthine path through the castle, he finds an impassible wall and discovers remnants of other Doctors, suggesting that he has been here before and will do this again. This version of the Doctor is killed, and a new one is brought to the castle to start the chain of events all over again. Worse yet, the Doctor discovers that this cycle has been happening for thousands of years. This episode is both tense and existentially horrifying, perhaps being the scariest story in all 50 plus years and hundreds of episodes of Doctor Who’s history.

Fringe - Season 3, Episode 9, “Marionette” First off, it needs to be said that Fringe was a criminally underrated show. It might have seemed like a cheap, modern X-Files knockoff, but everything was explained by earthly science (within the show’s logic) rather than some things being results of supernatural or alien interference. This episode features a man who has been killing everyone who received an organ donation from the same person. It turns out the organ donor was a ballerina that committed suicide, and her creepy stalker could not bear to be without her so he is collecting all of her parts to reassemble her and turn her into a corpse marionette that he can play with. If you’re looking for a creepy show, a lot of Fringe fits the bill, so give it a chance - it absolutely deserves it.

Star Trek: The Next Generation Season 1, Episode 24, “Conspiracy”

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Captain Picard is shaken when one of his old buddies warns him that something sinister is happening at Starfleet Command and is shortly after found dead along with his entire ship being destroyed.

Picard rushes home to Earth to find a vast alien conspiracy that has taken over Starfleet, putting the entire Federation at risk. For a show usually known for more

heartwarming stories about the nature of life, the evils of prejudice, and discovering what it is to be human, this dark, red-lit story is surprisingly scary and is probably the goriest Star Trek has ever gotten.

Torchwood - Season 1, Episode 6, “Countrycide” Doctor Who’s adult-oriented spinoff was always darker and edgier than the show that spawned it, but things got really creepy when the Torchwood team investigated a series of disappearances in the Welsh countryside only to find a bunch of corpses with bits missing and a creepy family/ cult that keep talking about the “harvest.”

Given that Torchwood established high stakes early on, it was truly terrifying to consider that one or more of the team would not be coming back from this one after some of the team is taken hostage and one team member is filled with buckshot.

Twin Peaks - Season 2, Episode 7, “Lonely Souls” FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper continues to search for the killer of teenager Laura Palmer using some unorthodox methods, including helping a one-armed man allow his sort-of guardian spirit to inhabit his body in order to give cryptic clues. Cooper finds indications that Laura was being sexually abused before arresting a prominent citizen of Twin Peaks for the murder. It turns out that the person they arrested was not the killer as Cooper is once again visited by a magical giant that ominously intones “It is happening again,” before the camera cuts to the real killer and the frightening spirit that inhabits his body. Twin Peaks was always creepy, but this was its peak.

Apologies for the egregious play on words.

If you have 40 to 50 minutes to kill and a desire to get spooky, try one of these tv horror classics!

14

Culture

Lands, Regrown

I Was a Poet, Once Sam Wall News Editor

Sam Wall News Editor

bodies are imaginary,

I only know in moments of reflection

but planted them beneath my feet

the patience unlike our times

Up our walls those plants do grow

poetry the art of rebellion

because our soil is rich

to a culture of dis-ease

and deep down in our roots we know

So now I am a gardener

we are content to eat our own words

grass stains like a ghost, see-through blood stains around the edges hammer my chest with until we’ve felt them your fists in every season make me flat of every continent

because everyone has to eat on my back like wind

blood boils, touch

yet I never threw those words away blown grass flat like

enough to blush skin culturally burned draw blood vessels to lands surface below dirt regrown painted necks we wrestle to our knees hit me so hard I finally land straight stand up erect fighting denim constraints pleased to meet your hands clothes overcome by

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Coffee Break

Anthony Labonte

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TrumpDuck Monique Gendron