The Male Menopause The female menopause is well-documented, but the male menopause is less well acknowledged, although numerous health workers have pointed to its existence. We have all heard of the amiable woman who becomes bitchy and aggressive once she hits forty or fifty, but men are less likely to admit to their concerns, which has always been true. In contrast to the orthodox image of a cantankerous menopausal middle-aged woman, middle-aged men going through their menopause are said to dump their aging wife for a younger one, dress in clothes that are decades younger than suits them and buy a sports car. But are these stereotypes an exact depiction of middle-age life? Clich?s are frequently accurate descriptions of life, which is why they became clich?s in the first case but are they caricatures of how the majority of people live? A fact is that numerous men, who are in their fifties and sixties, begin to doubt their sexual prowess. This doubt can lead to a husband stopping making love with his wife in case she compares his current performance unfavourably with when she first met him. Rather than go through a possibly humiliating question and answer session with his wife (in which he may have his fears confirmed), he goes with another woman. He will always go with a younger woman - who would not? And he will always wine, dine and spoil this younger girlfriend, so she is unlikely to tell him the truth, if he is not doing so well. Thinking with his nether parts and his ego, he is unlikely to see the truth. There are around 18 million Americans going through this situation right now - they are worried that they are being ridiculed by their wives because of under performance and they would like their prowess confirmed (by an external source). This lack of self-confidence can out itself in different ways. A middle-aged man may start being very critical of his wife or / and any other woman and this may lead to misogyny in extreme cases. At the other extreme, a man might become an outrageous flirt and attempt to get off with his wife's girlfriends. Lower levels of testosterone in older age might be partially to blame for a reduced libido, which is frequently the root cause for concerns about sexual performance. Older men know that they are not capable of doing what they used to. A common expression among elderly men is self-defacing: 'I used to spend all night doing what it now takes me all night to do'. Women tend to underplay this lack of self-confidence in aging men's sexuality and if people are not taken seriously there can be dreadful consequences. Men tend to take
the lead part in bed, so women do not notice so much that they are losing stamina as well. The fact is that female and male menopause might have an effect on us in a different manner (and some people appear to be unaffected at all), but couples have to be more aware that hormonal changes will happen about mid-life and that is why there is the clich? of a mid-life crisis. Owen Jones, the author of this piece, writes on a number of subjects, but is now involved with hormonal treatment for prostate cancer. If you would like to know more go to What is the Treatment for Prostate Cancer?