Owensboro Parent - May 2012

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may 2012

from the editor To the mothers of tiny babies, short on sleep and covered in spit up. To the mothers-to-be, pregnant, waddling, swollen and missing the sight of their own feet.

Publisher/Creative Director Jason Tanner jason@owensboroparent.com Editor Ashley Sorce ashley@owensboroparent.com Distribution Manager Jonathan Tanner jonathan@owensboroparent.com Account Executives Jeff Sorce jeff@owensboroparent.com Jodi Tanner jodi@owensboroparent.com Robert Williams robert@owensboroparent.com Graphic Designer Taylor West taylor@owensboroparent.com

To the mothers-to-be, waiting on their adoption to be finalized. To the mothers whose toddlers have them on the go from morning ‘til night. To the single mothers, doing it alone. To the mothers whose lives are consumed with laundry, picking up toys and putting a good meal on the table each night. To the mothers who juggle kids and careers and for the mothers that have more than a full-time job at home with their little ones. To the mothers who make it to every game, to every show or recital and to every open house. To the mothers of teenagers, enforcing curfews and cell phone limits. To the mothers who worry endlessly about SAT scores and college admissions. To the “empty nest” mothers of college students and for the really “empty nest” mothers whose grown children have moved out and on with their lives. To the mothers who now have that very special gift of grandchildren. To all of our readers who hold the most precious title of all, “mother.” Happy Mother’s Day!

Always,

Contributors Christy Taylor Chaney Christina Dalton Dean Ehrenheim Dr. Brian Gannon Casey Hamilton Danny May Cathy Mullins Christy Ramey Katherine Taylor Lora Wimsatt Contact Information Owensboro Parent Magazine PO Box 23237 Owensboro, KY 42304 (270) 314-5240 www.owensboroparent.com facebook.com/owensboroparent twitter.com/owensboroparent issuu.com/owensboroparent Cover Photography Dream Copy Photography www.dreamcopyphoto.com Cover Model Oliver Owen, son of Andy and Jean Owen. Advertise Owensboro Parent is a FREE magazine because of community support. Thank you to the great group of businesses & organizations who advertise with us. If you want to contribute to the success of our magazine, we would love to hear from you and will work to develop an advertising partnership that will not only benefit you, but also the parents of Owensboro.

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may features parent talk [7] teaching character [8] it must be easter [11] the new idea of normal [14] the power of words [18] fresh take [20]

[26] facebook photos [29] earth day challenge [30] a moment in their arms [32] fly the friendly skies [35] a better you [36] power of one sentence

gardening tips for kids [21]

[37] kids eat free

the food fight [22]

[38] lbl getaway

healthy choices for everyone [24]

[20]

[36]

[40] april calendar

[28] [10]

[30] [11]

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[8]

[14]

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facebook

parent talk Moms just seem to have a knack for giving sound advice (even when we’re not ready to hear it!) and sharing memorable words of wisdom. We asked you to share the best advice you ever received from your own mom and these are few of our favorite responses from Facebook. My mother gave me this advice a few years ago: After I came home from

From the time I can remember the advice my mom always gave to me was

work and began cleaning the house, my kids wanted me to go outside

there are always consequences for your actions wether good or bad.

with them. I told them I could not because I only had a certain amount of

- Kelly Barnes Butler

time to get my “chores” done. My mom said, “I did that when you all (my brother, myself and my sister) were young. I would come home from work, clean and get things done and not enjoy the fact that you all were home and were young. I miss the days when my kids were home and I regret not spending more time, because I thought I had to get things done and the

The only person who can control your character is you. Handle that power with great care. - Amber Spurrier Hall

house had to be spotless. I don’t want you to regret giving up your time with the kids, your house can wait.”

When I graduated from high school and still lived at home, my parents

- Michelle Moore Mayfield

charged me rent. It was the best thing they ever did for me. Knowing I could do it gave me the confidence to get out on my own, and when I was

Every child is different! There is no book, movie, radio show or prime time

divorced and had to start out on my own with no support, I knew I could

TV show that will give you the direct answer for your child. All you can do

do it. It taught me responsibility and gave me confidence. I have done the

is pray, ask other mommies and laugh. There will be ups and downs, but

same with my kids. They don’t resent it. They’ve always known to expect it,

remember to enjoy it!

and they are glad to help pull their weight.

- Felecia Piper

- Resa Hendrix

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family life

summer! survive the

{ by: christina dalton, mssw, csw }

Ahhhhhh….SUMMER VACATION! For the first time in a while, kids all around Daviess County will begin their summer breaks in May instead of June. They are already counting down the days, hours and minutes until it begins. Some of you parents out there might be doing the same but for different reasons. Depending on your situation, summer break can present different challenges. For working parents, it might mean figuring out a day camp program, babysitters or coordinating sports schedules. For stay at home parents, it might mean figuring out a schedule or fun things to do, vacations or simply maintaining your sanity! Regardless of your situation, I’d like to give you a few ideas and tips on how to have a successful summer break for you and your children.

1 Schedules

2 Boredom

3 Reading

Depending on how your children

Kids get bored and they get bored

Summer is a great time to read! I

operate, a schedule can really come in

quickly. After the first couple of weeks

know that school is not in session, but

handy and bring some needed structure

you might find yourself wanting to

teaching your child to read for fun is one

to your days. Kids like to know what

pull your hair out because they keep

of the greatest gifts you can teach them.

is coming up. If you are going to the

saying they’re bored! A great way to kick

It is so easy to shut your brain off, play

pool on Tuesdays and Thursdays have

boredom is to keep kids active. Walk

video games and do nothing all summer.

it written down so that they can see it.

the dog, ride bikes, go to the park, play

Check with your elementary schools for

If bedtime is at 9 p.m., let them know

basketball, swim. Summer is the season

library programs that offer incentives

ahead of time to avoid any arguments.

of endless outdoor activities. Kids who

for summer reading. Or you can offer

Then you know what time you get to

are active sleep better! I’m just saying.

your own incentives. “We’ll go to the

kick back and watch your shows!

movies on Friday if you read for thirty minutes a day.” Make it fun!

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4 Money

5 Buddies

6 Me Time

Do not let money or lack of it to cause you to

When in doubt, call a friend. It’s always

Take some time for yourself. Have a girl’s

have a bummer summer. We are so fortunate

a good idea to have some play dates on

night or a guy’s night, go shopping, plan

to live in a resource-rich community. There

speed dial. Sometimes kids need a change

a date night, play 18 holes of golf or get a

are lots of activities that won’t cost you a

of scenery too. It gives you someone else

mani/pedi. It is so important to take time

dime to have fun. We have awesome parks

to chat with and the kids get to see their

for you as a parent. It’s your summer too

and several of them have water parks.

friends. So plan a day trip with your

and it only comes around once a year. I

Culture is free. Soak it up! Go to the science

buddies and make a day of it.

highly encourage each and every one of

museum, the botanical gardens or the

you to have a ME PARTY! Your kids will

art museum. See page 36 for a full list of

thank you.

summer fun that won’t break the bank.

It seems as if life goes by so fast these days. The moments and

said, “Mom, Mom, watch me!” And you know what…I always

the memories that you and your family make this summer will

do because I know it is a “moment” I will want to remember

last a lifetime. Keep that in mind when you are tired, had a hard

later in my life. Make your summer one to remember!

OP

day at work or didn’t get much sleep. It makes me think of all the times that my own child has

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Christina Dalton, MSSW, CSW is the Family Resource Center Coordinator for Daviess County Public Schools.

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family life

the second weekend in may { by: lora wimsatt }

I

t all starts with a wilted dandelion clutched tight in a chubby, dirty fist, a gap-toothed smile on an angelic

face, and a sweet voice saying, “Happy Movver Day, Mommy!” In the years to come, there are artistic drawings of stick-figure mothers (who might wish their figures really were that slender) … “fine jewelry” consisting of strings of brightly colored beads carefully threaded onto strands of knotted yarn … and gourmet breakfasts in bed with burnt toast and runny eggs and a kitchen filled with dirty dishes just waiting for you.

Eventually, of course, those childish expressions of

love give way to “real gifts.”

A spray of flowers delivered by the florist, a beautiful

bouquet with not a dandelion in sight.

A nice robe, perhaps, or a book by a favorite author.

Maybe some real jewelry, not plastic … and dinner at a nice restaurant, where everything is cooked “just right” – and someone else will clear the table and wash the dishes. The years go by, and those children of long-ago grow up and marry and have children of their own, and now you find yourself calling your daughter or daughter-in-law on that second Sunday in May to wish her a “Happy Mother’s Day.”

You watch with pride and joy – and a bit of wistful

nostalgia – as the cycle continues with yet another generation. But as for you, it all goes back to where it once began.

And you take a handful of flowers, picked carefully

from among the prettiest blooms in your garden, and arrange them carefully in the vase next to the cold granite stone. Before you turn and walk down that grassy hill once again, you whisper one more time, “Happy Mother’s Day.”

“To educate a person in mind and not in morals is to educate a menace to society.” Theodore Roosevelt

There is a bittersweet smile on your face, because

tucked among those blossoms there is one yellow dandelion.

OP

Lora Wimsatt is a mother, grandmother and writer. She enjoys the everyday blessings and adventures of life, especially her family.

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family life

jordan’s

heart

Neil and Kristi Hayden knew that

their second daughter, Jordan Grace, would be born with a heart defect. As much as parents can come to terms with this kind of news, the Haydens prepared themselves. But after Jordan was born on March 20, 2012, doctors found further complications. Neil and Kristi were told four separate times that Jordan would not survive. But she did. { by: ashley sorce }

Neil Hayden, 31, and his wife Kristi Hayden, 30, are both

will get exhausted faster than most people.

teachers for Daviess County Public Schools. Neil is currently a

Jordan will need three surgeries in her first three years of life,

social studies teacher and boys’ basketball junior varsity coach

which will change the direction of her blood flow. The first

at Apollo and Kristi is a kindergarten teacher at Tamarack

surgery is supposed to take place within the first week of life,

Elementary School. They have been married eight years, but

the second after her fourth or fifth month of life, and the third

started dating in 1997 while they were both attending McLean

surgery between 2 and 3 years of age. However, Jordan has an

County High School. The couple married in 2004 and in

even more rare situation. At 32 weeks pregnant we were made

October 2009 they had Riley Faith, their first daughter.

aware of HLHS, but what we didn’t know is Jordan had a second

complication. She has an intact atrial septum, meaning the blood

Can you tell us a little about your daughter’s diagnosis?

could not flow through her heart and she was getting a backflow

Neil: Our daughter, Jordan Grace, has HLHS. This is a rare heart

to her lungs, which kept her lungs from fully developing. This

defect called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. This defect occurs

has significantly delayed Jordan from being able to have her

in one in every 100 births. This means her left ventricle chamber of

first surgery. The doctors need her lungs to become stronger and

her heart did not develop in the womb and it will not ever develop.

have appropriate blood flow. The only way to fix this problem

This will potentially affect her the remainder of her life, but a lot is

is time. At the moment we have been in the hospital four weeks

still unknown since the oldest living person with HLHS is around

and the doctors believe it may be at least two to three more

42 years of age. Modern medicine has helped to advance treatment

weeks until she can have her first surgery. If and when the first

but the heart defect affects each person differently. Best-case

heart surgery is completed, it may be an additional two to six

scenario is that she may be on medication the rest of her life and she

weeks for her to recover from the surgery. The major concern

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with waiting for her lungs to develop is possible infection from

When we were first told of the diagnosis, Kristi and I faced

the lines that give her the medication she needs.

overwhelming emotions. We have shared many tears together,

The first two weeks were very difficult. Jordan was not strong

but Kristi has approached this one step at a time. She knew it

enough to have consecutive good days. Four times in the first

wasn’t anything she had done, so her only option was to take

two weeks we were told that she may not make it much longer

small steps and prepare for the situations we knew would be

and we should contact our family. We actually arranged some

presented. Most importantly, Kristi treated this like her first

family photos because we thought it would be the only chance

birth. She had baby clothes made, prepared the nursery, and

we would have in order to have everyone together, meaning

has displayed excitement like she did for Riley. I believe this

myself, Kristi, Jordan and our 2-year-old daughter, Riley.

is important to not hold back any excitement or love for our

newest addition.

How did you as parents feel about her diagnosis? How do you cope?

Neil: I think we have been able to deal with the situation we are

Kristi: When we found out her diagnosis, I felt very helpless.

facing for several reasons. First and foremost, we trust God’s

After the initial shock of finding out we began to hear stories

plan and His will. Through prayer and scripture reading we

of children with the same heart condition who were doing

have been able to face this adversity knowing we have an eternal

incredibly well. After a week or so I could talk about it without

blessing in this situation. We realize God can heal her (James

crying, but then it was just the fear of the unknown. We knew

5:15). We don’t know why Jordan is facing this, but it doesn’t

God had a plan in all of it, but He wasn’t let us in on it just yet.

change our faith in God. God has placed people and scripture

in our lives each day to give daily grace. It’s been interesting to

What has been the most challenging part? Are there any

see how God has been with us each day. I honestly mean that, I

rewards or lessons you have gained from this experience?

could share several stories to show how God has suppressed our

Neil: The most challenging part is the waiting and the

anxiety and fears in all of this.

unexpected. The continual delay for the first surgery was

unexpected and it has been a slow process. The most challenging

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family life moments have been the four situations in which we thought we

steps to take in her care. I was facing a window when the sun

might lose her. Having to prepare yourself for those moments

started rising and with tears in my eyes and my husband’s arms

are very difficult and having to call loved ones and explain the

around me the sun hit my face. I knew then that everything

situation is something I would not wish upon anyone.

was going to be okay. It felt like God showing me His grace and

There have been many rewards, but one stands out for me

telling me I could finally breathe.

personally. The last time we had to call our family to come back to Louisville my wife refused to accept it. She continually

Can you describe her birth and the emotions you felt?

dismissed the notion that Jordan was not going to pull through.

Kristi: It is so hard to describe her birth because I could not

I have to admit after the fourth time of hearing this I had slowly

help being excited for the new life coming into this world, but I

began to think Jordan may not survive. I was encouraged by my

was also scared out of my mind knowing what she was going to

wife and it was amazing to see her strength and resolve.

be facing. I tried to push those scary feelings away and focus on

bringing her into this world safely. I was induced at 39 weeks so

Kristi: As a mother, the hardest part for me, besides the

I could give birth in Louisville. She weighed 8 lbs. 6 oz. and was

possibility of losing her, has been not being able to take care of

20 inches long. This was our first blessing because the bigger she

her, like feed her, hold her and rock her. Now that she has been

was the better. The doctors wanted her to be at least 6 lbs. before

more stable, the nurses have let me change her diapers. I never

surgery, so that was one less hurdle we had to jump. I had really

thought I would be so happy to change a poopy diaper! Neil

good labor and deliveries with both of my girls. Giving birth is

and I also had the wonderful privilege of getting to hold her on

one of the most amazing feelings and I am blessed to have been

Easter.

able to do it twice.

I remember the first time we saw her open her eyes. We were

What kind of support have you received since your daughter

standing at her bedside early one morning when there was a

was born?

room full of doctors making their rounds, discussing the next

Neil: The support has been amazing. Apollo High, Daviess

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discover County Middle and Tamarack Elementary have been very

second daughter, Jordan Grace. By believing in this foundation we

supportive. Co-workers have donated Kristi sick days, given us,

haven’t spent time questioning God or arguing amongst ourselves.

including Riley, gifts as well as money. Area church pastors as

Together we have been able to stay levelheaded, because we can

well as our own pastor, Greg Faulls of Bellevue, have called us

look at the big picture during difficult moments. The only choice

and stopped by to pray with us. Many friends have called and

someone has in this type of situation is to take one obstacle at a

stopped by to pray with us and do simple things such as watch

time.

a ball game with us. Our parents have been a vital role, from keeping our dogs to watching Riley overnight.

Kristi, as Mother’s Day approaches, what are you thankful for? Kristi: I am so thankful to have a wonderful, supportive husband

I started a blog to help keep family and friends stay up to date

who has been my rock through all of this. He is such a strong

and it has been very encouraging. With social networking today,

spiritual leader for our family and the most amazing dad for

the blog has spread to over 12 countries and people from around

our girls. I am thankful to have two beautiful daughters. I am so

the U.S. have contacted us about similar situations or just to

proud to be the wife and mother of these three people that God

give us support/prayer. (www.jordansheart.wordpress.com)

has blessed me with.

What advice would you give to other parents that may one

As a family we want to say how truly blessed we are to have

day face having a sick child?

such wonderful, supportive family, friends, church family and

Neil: The only advice I can truly recommend is to keep your

colleagues and even complete strangers. We would not have

foundation intact. Our foundation has been our belief in God’s

made it this far without all of the love and prayers that we have

plan. By realizing the eternal blessing we are receiving from

received.

OP

Jordan, it allows us to cope and stay mentally fresh. I don’t know why we are going through this, but I know the same God that is

Ashley is a first-time mommy, a not-so-newlywed, an organizational freak and the

allowing it to happen is also the same God that has given us our

editor of this awesome magazine. (Which is, of course, a totally unbiased opinion.)

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