Summer 2012 by Business BVI

er m um s of s es n t ee sw

June/July 2012 Volume 1/Issue 4

For the enchanting, exuberant, enterprising, extraordinary, empowered Caribbean woman. www.ewomanmagazine.com

Women who inspired us –

A Caribbean

Wedding Story Summer in the

British Virgin Islands

One woman’s journey with Lupus.

So, why did I get married?

Swimsuits for every day of the week.

Variations of brilliance: The story of women bound by a common purpose COMPLIMENTARY ISSUE

For the enchanting, exuberant, enterprising, extraordinary, empowered Caribbean woman.

Our August/September issue of eWoman will be available exclusively online. The next print issue will hit the stands on October 01st, with an extensive look at breast cancer throughout the region. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d love to share your story.

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CONTENTS

Cover and Story Photography Courtesy of Norman Allen

Variations of Brilliance

12 Women Who Inspired Us One woman’s journey with Lupus

swimsuits

For everyday of the week By Latoya Moxey of the Bahamas

A Caribbean

Wedding Story— Kareem & Ruthanna in Black and White

Summer in the

british virgin islands A Real Love Story

So, why Did i get married

Another journal entry by a Mad Caribbean Woman 2

eWoman magazine

I n si d e t h is issue :

22 Bon Voyage

When it gets hot, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time to shift focus.

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s All in the Planning Plan ahead and you will return as fit as you were when you left on vacation.

26 6 Money Jars

Read about this concept. It is meant to work regardless of how much money you make and is one which wealthy people use.

38 Violence Against Women in the Caribbean

54 She Music

This summer, listen out for the voices of two top female performers.

57 A Taste of the Islands A tiny waistline for those skimpy festival costumes require lighter fare.

d e pa r t me n t s From Portia

Quiet Moments

e-power your life

e-happenings

e-joy

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Woman CEO & Editorial Director Portia Harrigan Copy Editor Steven Goodman Writers Photographers Jamaica John Myers Jr. Sabriya Simon Bahamas Inderia Saunders Kevon Lighthourne Barry Williams BVI Todd Vansickle David Thomas Norman Allen Art Direction & Production Adriana Naylor Fashion Editor Terry Donovan Books Editor (Guest) Danielle Pointdujour Social Media & Communications Manager Bayyina Black Web Editor Rahel Worede

A TALK SHOW CREATED TO INSPIRE, MOTIVATE, AND UPLIFT

Join us on www.facebook.com/TamiLive and log onto www.tamilive.tv

"Just Be Happy!"

This Magazine is published 6 times a year. The entire contents of this Magazine is copyrighted and may not be reproduced without the expressed written consent of the publisher. We reserve the right to edit, rewrite, or refuse material and we are not responsible for products that appear in this publication. ÂŠ ewoman magazine 2012

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gift shop & boutique

Contributors Cherylee Pinder (Bahamas) Latasha Strachan (Bahamas) Shakira Bourne (Barbados) Dr. Shakima Vanterpool (British Virgin Islands) Judy Haycraft-British (Virgin Islands) Majida Shariff (Caribbean Diaspora) Bayyina Black (Caribbean Diaspora) Cherisse Moe (Trinidad) Advertising Sales Portia Davis-Harrigan (Bahamas) Email:info@ewomanmagazine.com Rebecca Essumang (British Virgin Islands) Tel: 284 343 6895 • email:ressumang@ewomanmagazine.com Mindy Jordan (St. Lucia) Tel:758 451 2662/758 721 2662 • email:mjordan@ewomanmagazine.com Rebecca Essumang (U.S. Virgin Islands) Tel: 284 343 6895 • email:ressumang@ewomanmagazine.com Published by Oyster Publications Inc Chairman Russell Harrigan General enquiries to info@ewomanmagazine.com

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Island Beauty c o s m e t i c s

Celebrate your natural beauty with Island Beauty Cosmeticsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; true match system. Long lasting, 100% natural cosmetics designed especially for the Caribbean climate. Available throughout the Caribbean. 8

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W h e re el se on e a r th ?

We live h e re !

L e t â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pl a y h e re !

eewoman womanmagazine magazine 99

We live here, Let’s play here! Summer really is the best time in our beloved Caribbean. The children are out of school, festivals abound and lo, every woman can pull out the ever coveted summer wardrobe. Summer is also a time to slow down and take it easy, a time to relax and reflect. This is the time of year to refill yourself with joy and inspiration. We work hard, some of us working twelve hour days, with no allowances for the enjoyment of the simple things in life. Tourists travel from around the world to enjoy our beautiful waters, our flora and fauna, our music and our food. Imagine, not having to get on a plane to experience some of the most amazing places on earth … the islands of the Caribbean. We live here, let’s play here. There really is no shortage of things to do. There is a big party to be found in almost every island throughout the summer months. From Destination Dockyard in Bermuda and Junkanoo Summer Festival in the Bahamas, to the Carriacou Regatta in the Grenadines- there’s a plethora of celebratory events up and down the islands. Some of these events celebrate our emancipation from slavery and some are just for the sake of a grand party. Whatever the purpose, there are great opportunities for connecting with old friends and making new ones. This summer, let’s party in our own back yards, rekindling that old family spirit and keeping some money at home. Let’s take the time to get to know what the tourists love so much about our islands. We may be very pleasantly surprised. This issue of eWoman celebrates five amazing women with very different backgrounds, bound together by their love of the British Virgin Islands, casts a spotlight on two of St. Lucia’s leading female performers and highlights the very touchy subject of domestic violence in our region. This is a great read for a sunny, lazy day of summer. eJoy!

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Women who INSPIRED us

A Caribbean womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s story of overcoming the debilitating disease of lupus. How she dealt with the disease and turned her experience into positive change for all women.

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In a conversation with Inderia Saunders “I Was told that I had Lupus and I Broke Down In Tears”

ife couldn’t have been more exciting for Tamika Rigby in early 2008. She had just received her captain’s license, becoming the only female tugboat captain in all of the Bahamas. Tamika was also an avid diver and at this point in her life, feeling greatly accomplished. But then she caught a cold. A seemingly simple cold or flu that brought with it a persistent cough, achy joints, weight loss and endless fatigue that she just couldn’t shake. Led by her mother, Tamika went to see a doctor, but three months and countless tests later there still was no answer as to why she was suddenly and seemingly incurably ill. She finally found a doctor who could give her a proper diagnosis. “They said sorry we can’t let you go back home today because you’ve been diagnosed with lupus and I was like ‘what is that?’” she recalls. “Me not knowing anything about it; just being ignorant, I broke down in tears. I was hospitalized and in ICU for about three weeks.”

Living in Grand Bahama (a Northern Bahama island), there wasn’t much information floating around about the disease or people to reach out to learn from. But as island life often proves, word of mouth is the best. Tamika’s mother had a colleague whose daughter was also battling lupus and they drew support from each other and along with a clinical psychologist, decided to start a support group for women living with lupus. In 2009, there were five members, which has grown to 15 members to date. Tamika and her friends have recently turned that support group into an all-out organization called Lupus Bahamas and are now trying to start charter groups throughout the country as well as make connections with other lupus-oriented organizations throughout the region. “After we realized we were growing so much, we didn’t want to just be a support group,” she said. “That’s when the idea of being a non-profit organization came about.

“As a group we’re just trying to see which After weeks of treatments for renal failure, areas we can get into . . . we are trying to get heart concerns, blood clots and a myriad of numbers and statistics on how many womother health issues, Tamika started more en are affected. We want women to be than just a copious amount of medications. aware of what’s going on with their bodies She started a new life — sadly, one that exand that lupus is affecting cluded her hobby of young women all over this diving, but included a region.” • lot of studying about the autoimmune disease that affects the n Lupus is an auto-immune disease. body’s functions and learning how best to n 90% of Lupus victims are women. cope with it. n I t affects 5 million women worldwide.

5 Facts to know about Lupus

n It’s not a cancer. nT o be diagnosed with Lupus, a woman has to meet six out of a total 11 criteria.

eWoman magazine

She Sells Sea Shells by the Seashore â&#x20AC;Ś in perfect style

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hot and the beach is beckoning. For the style conscious woman, the beach is as much about fashion as it is about sand and sea. eWoman with Latoya Moxey present a swimsuit for every day of the week. Swimsuits available at www.mavenbrands.com Swimsuit photography courtesy of Scharad Lightbourne

Sunday in Paradise Island 14

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monday

in St. Thomas

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tuesday

in Bridgetown

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wednesday

in Grand Cayman

eeWoman woman magazine

thursday 18

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in Provo

friday

in Anegada

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saturday 20

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in Anguilla

e power

Slow down. Take it easy. Relax and reflect.

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Ask Cherrylee

Bon Voyage!

Cherrylee Pinder ummer is here and all I can think about are lazy days, cool drinks, speedy fans and cotton dresses.

When it gets hot, it’s time to shift focus. There’s more daylight to engage with family and friends, more time to take long walks and exercise. Apart from the things we could do at home, our thoughts should shift to vacation time as well. So many of you don’t even take vacation or if you do, it’s an abbreviated one. You know the kind! Perhaps it’s just a short trip to purchase much-needed supplies from Florida. Some of us travel regularly to the same place, doing the same thing. This summer, do something different. Now is the perfect time to plan an adventure or excursion to some far away land. I have had some fantastic trips over the years such as seeing “The Christ Statue” above Sugar Loaf Mountain in Rio de Janeiro, or exploring acres of tulips and roses in Rotterdam, or sipping fresh coconut water in Trinidad. The more I’ve travelled, the more I’ve realized how we are citizens of the world. We share so many commonalities. Very little separates us. Travelling

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is an eye-opening experience that has the ability to transform your life. Seeing how other people live does something that money can’t buy – gives us exposure and exposure leads to the broadening of the mind. You open yourself up to thinking differently and not seeing your viewpoint alone. I think that travelling and experiencing other cultures allows you to be more tolerant and understanding as well. Through travel, one can also appreciate what they have. I am always amazed at how much we have and how much we waste as a people the more I travel. I always come back home a little more grateful and more conscious of what I should be doing with my money and the things God has blessed me with. Therefore, our trips should include

moments to see how the entire population lives and not just limit our experience to the tourist district. On your next trip (which I hope is soon!), be brave and experience the local cuisine. You can’t go all the way to Jamaica and eat KFC or McDonalds. Trust me, you will be pleasantly surprised. Try to venture off the beaten path by staying in a bed and breakfast within a community. You’ll get to interact with a local family and perhaps make life-long friends. Indeed, travel can do wonders for you if you let it. •

Get your passport ready and bon voyage! Cherrylee is a motivational speaker, human resource trainer and counselor who resides in Nassau, Bahamas. She can be contacted at cherryleepinder@coralwave.com

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all in the

Planning! By Majida Sharriff

Thought you had to sacrifice your figure for a great trip? Having worked so hard for the perfect abs, you almost cancelled your cruise at the thought of returning with a muffin top. You are packing all of your sexy summer dresses, swimsuits, the midriff tops, and pencil pants. Yet, the hardest part about trying to stay fit and healthy while travelling is not the exercise, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the preparation.

Just plan ahead and you will return as fit as you were when you left.

PHOTOS COURTESY OF BAYYINA BLACK

eWoman magazine

Fit Tip #1:

Remember WHY you want to be healthy and fit! If you worked hard to look good for your vacation, why let it all go once you’re on it? Prior to travelling take a moment to set your fitness goals and write them down. Once you arrive at your destination, place your written goals where you will see them daily.

Fit Tip #2: Be Prepared!

Make time to Sleep. Adults need at least 6-8 hours of sleep. Inadequate sleep can interfere with the body’s ability to metabolize the fat and calories that you consume. Make time to Eat. DO NOT skip meals. Not eating = weight gain! Instead, make healthy choices that will boost your metabolism, provide your body with nutrition, and energize you. Try drinking room temperature water often and incorporating as much live fruits and vegetables as possible into your daily diet. One of my favorite nutrient-rich foods to eat is Kale. Eating Kale is an excellent way to include fiber, calcium, and vitamin B6, A, C, and K into your diet.

Fit Tip #3: YOU are all you need!

Plan ahead. If you know you will be out all day, plan to bring healthy snacks with you. Raw (soaked) almonds are always a great choice! Almonds are a rich source of vitamin E and B12, magnesium, and protein containing fiber. Soaking raw almonds in water before consumption will remove the enzyme inhibitors in their brown covering. This process helps to make the nuts easy to digest, chew, and release their full nutritional value. When planning your workout routine, keep in mind that stretching and warming up your body are equally as important to strength training and fat burning. Determine ahead of time whether you want to just maintain your current condition or continue making progress, and formulate your exercise routine accordingly. Here’s a basic example of what I do to start my day while on vacation.

❶

Stand tall with your feet hips distance apart on a flat surface. Take a moment to remember why you are exercising and find joy in that fact that you are honoring your own self-commitment.

❹

Bring your feet together. Keeping your legs straight, bend forward from your hips into a forward fold. Grab onto the back of your ankles or calves, lengthen the spine, and draw your chest as close to your legs as possible.

❺

❽

Lift your right leg. Inhale as you bring your right knee to your nose, exhale bring your right leg back to the sky. Inhale bring your right knee to the outside of your right elbow, exhale leg back up to the sky. Inhale bring your right knee across your body to the inside of your left elbow, exhale leg back up to the sky. Repeat this sequence on the left leg. Perform this routine 3 times on each leg.

❾

❷ Slowly bend your knees and place your hands flat on the ground next to your feet. Support yourself with your hands as you step your right leg straight back, followed by the left leg into a plank position. Make sure that your abdomen is tucked in, shoulders are out of your ears, and your arms and body are straight. Hold this position for 30 seconds before engaging in 10 push-ups. Inhale deeply and Clasp your hands together above your head. Fill your lungs, lower back, and abdomen with air. As you exhale, allow your hands to guide your body as you gently lean to the right and stretch your left side. Repeat as you stretch to the left, arch to the back, bend forward, and come back to standing.

❸

❻

Keeping your palms flat on the floor and your back straight, tuck your toes and lift your hips up and back until your body is in the shape of an upside down V. Push back and reach your heels towards the ground for downward facing dog.

From downward facing dog, walk your feet forward between your hands into a forward fold.

❿

❼ Open your legs just wider than hips distance apart. Extend your arms so that your body forms a Y. Keeping your back straight, sit back as low as possible from your hips. Squeeze your glutes as you push your self back into standing position. Repeat 10 times.

Inhale deeply, raise your arms and slowly come up placing a slight arch in your back. Exhale back into a standing position and bring your arms down by your side. eWoman magazine

Money 6Jars The

The economy is on a slow but gradual incline in the United States, but the latest news according to the Financial Times is that Spain and the UK have entered a double dip recession. As a matter of fact, all across Europe economies are struggling. In the Caribbean, where we are so very dependent on Tourism and Financial Services, one begs the question, â&#x20AC;&#x153;what is the outlook for Caribbean economies; is there sufficient discourse on the possible

impact on the region if Europe

continues to struggle and the US economy continues to drag along the bottom?â&#x20AC;? There is great cause for concern, as even the countries once experiencing growth (Brazil, China, Russia and India) are beginning to see some slow down. There

Learn ples i c n i r the p nagement

a m y e n r u o of mo y e r u c e s l l i w t tha ure.

t u f l a i c n a n fi

may be some growth in the Financial Services Industry in terms of volume of business, but, are we seeing growth in terms of job creation? As our leaders figure out the answers to these questions, we as women need to ensure that we are looking about our own personal, familial and community interests when it comes to finances. In this region, we must address our performance levels, increase our competitiveness and begin to aggressively explore other means of income. In our research for this article, we discovered some very important information with regards to managing personal finances. One concept in particular is the 6 jar principle, discussed extensively at T.Harv Ekerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Millionaire Mindset Intensive Seminar. This information clearly defines how we can efficiently and effectively manage our income regardless of the amount. Very simply, the money jars help to manage the money that you earn in each cycle by allocating specified amounts for particular purposes.

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With the Money Jars, your money will have at least SIX jobs, to be divided as follows: 1) Financial Freedom Account (FFA) = 10% 2) Long Term Savings For Spending (LTSS) = 10% 3) Education (EDUC) = 10% 4) Necessities (NEC) =55% 5) Play = 10% 6) Give = 5%

This concept is meant to work regardless of how much money you make and is one which wealthy people use. So, even if you are making only $100.00 per week, before you spend $1.00, you should divide it according to the guidelines above. For details on the Money Jar System, go to http://secretsofachievers.com/financial-success/t-harv-ekers-jars-money-management-system or you can purchase the book, “The Money Jars..Your Magical Money Management System”, by Elisabeth Donati. Each of us has to take on responsibility for our financial survival and begin to think from a long term perspective. •

eWoman magazine

Underneath

it all,

what gets us going everyday. By Latasha Strachan

6:00 am, already? Merciful Lord! I hit snooze and stare at the ceiling, waiting for the nine minutes grace to evaporate before I drag myself to the bathroom, where I will sit motionless on my throne inwardly lamenting the rising of the sun. Maybe a coffee-scented Glade Plug-in will help me out. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not proud of my first thoughts in the morning and I admit itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not every morning, but on, shall we say a number of occasions, I need to coax myself into living.

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here are kids to feed, bags to pack, presentations to give, parents to care for, friends to check on, partners to support, clients to cater to, whatever it is, there is always work to summon us from our rest. Somewhere out there, there is something or someone who is waiting for you to show up. If someone else did not need for us to get up everyday, many of us wouldn’t. And that is not necessarily a bad thing.

Life is a web of connectedness; we are in a perpetual state of giving and taking. There is no shame in getting up and fueling your engine in order to give someone else a ride. This is a part of how we are supposed to [co]exist. However, as women we sometimes get stuck in a pattern of giving without receiving, which leads to intense, reality-TV-worthy resentment. I mean the kind where you have about 2 millimeters of highly fragile tolerance left between yourself and the world. Underneath is a steaming pot of tears, screams, accusations and flat out craziness. All it takes is one more plea, one more request and it’s over! When we live like this it is common practice to plot, plan and devise ways

to “get away”, “get our lives back”, “escape”, etc. (None of which is going to happen, I might add.) Whether it’s young children, ailing parents, or an intense work life, it is likely that most of us ladies are pouring bucket loads of energy into an abyss of needs, and then drawing meager sustenance from a dirty puddle through a cocktail straw. So here is some no therapist required advice on how to get up and go Every. Single. Day. Clothe your duties with love and respect. Work will always be calling your name, so go ahead and answer. Drudgery, boredom, exasperation, they are all ultimately under your control. You choose whether to approach

what you do each day with the goal of loving or with the goal of simply finishing the task. It’s far more rewarding if at the end of the day, someone knew that they were loved, respected, or appreciated because of what you did.

Coach your mind toward gratitude.

Be glad that people still need you. Rejoice that God is able to use your life to bless and uplift others. A few days with no responsibilities are fantastic, but a life where your presence is not required or even noticed is tragic. Look for the upside of being needed.

Make time for good friends.

You may not be able to choose your parents, your kids, or your boss, but your friends can be hand-picked, so choose people who are positive and uplifting. This is your well-spring, your oasis in the desert. Real friends give you a place to rest, laugh, and decompress! After hanging out with friends you should feel renewed; put that on the “to-do” list.

There is no shame in getting up and fueling your engine in order to give someone

Renew your spirit with God’s Word. There is nothing

else a ride.

that stabilizes, clarifies and strengthens you for the day ahead like scripture. The Bible is timeless, intelligent, and relevant, no matter what the topic. Make time to meditate on it so that it can become a part of your way of thinking. As a woman thinketh, so is she!

Celebrate your body with healthy pride. Fix up! Make the effort to treat

your body like your prized possession. Pamper it, give it nourishment and rest, and then show it off with flattering clothes and a gorgeous smile. Your body may not be perfect, but it is still the external part of who you are and as much as possible you should try to have it match the wonderful person you are inside. • eWoman magazine

quiet s t n e m mo

Our guest writer, Danielle Pointdujour, a voracious reader, shares two of her favourite works, Island Beneath the Sea by Isabelle Allende and The Book of Night Women by Marlon James. Two beautiful books for great summer reading.

The Book of Night Women by Marlon James Marlon James’ novel is both beautifully written and devastating. While the gruesome history of slavery is one we think we already know, every page of “The Book of Night Women” reminds us we don’t know nearly enough. James’ narrative, told in patois, was a stroke of genius that completely transplants the reader back to the cruel world of a Jamaican sugar plantation at the turn of the 19th century. At the heart of it all is a black-skinned, green-eyed slave woman, barely out of childhood, who struggles to transcend the violence into which she is born. The Night Women, as they call themselves, have long plotted a slave revolt, and as Lilith comes of age and reveals the extent of her power, they see her as the key to their plans. But when she begins to understand her own feelings and desires and identity, Lilith pushes at the edges of what is imaginable for the life of a slave woman in Jamaica, and risks becoming the conspiracy’s weak link. Lilith’s story overflows with drama and heartbreak, and life on the plantation is rife with dangerous secrets, unspoken jealousies, inhumane violence, and very human emotion between characters that make it a must read.

Island Beneath The Sea by Isabel Allende Island Beneath the Sea follows a young woman named Zarité, known as Tété, born a slave on the island of Saint-Domingue and her master, Toulouse Valmorain, through two countries, over four decades. Valmorain, a young Frenchman who has moved to Saint-Domingue to manage his father’s sugar plantation, buys Tété to be the personal slave of his wife and to satisfy his own sexual urges. The arrangement between Tété and her master eventually results in two children, a son who is given away, and a daughter he refuses to acknowledge, and the two develop a complicated, somewhat troubled relationship. When the bloody revolution of Toussaint Louverture arrives at the gates of plantation Saint Lazare, they flee the brutal conditions of the French colony, soon to become Haiti, for New Orleans. There Tété is finally able to gain the freedom she has dreamed of, but her connection to Valmorain is deeper than anyone knows and not easily severed. Island Beneath the Sea is the moving story of the intertwined lives of Tété and Valmorain, and of one woman’s determination to find love amid loss, to offer humanity though her own has been battered, and to forge her own identity in the cruelest of circumstances.

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Variations of Brilliance

eWoman sat down with five beautiful, vibrant Caribbean women, all who reside in the British Virgin Islands. They speak about personal goals, aspirations and their hopes for the BVI and the region. Though very different, what ties them together, is their brilliance and love of country. Kevon Lightbourne with portia harrigan Doctor, Financial Services Expert, Media Personality, Restaurateur and Economist, these women are all well educated, hardworking, and ambitious, making significant contributions to the growth and development of the British Virgin Islands. Some of them are from, or have roots in other Caribbean countries, none the less, they all are working for the good of the country. This can be anywhere in the region. There are Guyanese making significant contributions in Trinidad and Barbados. In The Bahamas, there are Haitians and Jamaicans who are working side by side with Bahamians, but are overlooked simply because of their place of birth (actually, many are

born in the country but because of inhumane, antiquated laws regarding citizenship, being born in The Bahamas does not automatically confer Bahamian citizenship). And it has been said that the typical Cayman Islander does not have time to be prejudiced among themselves regarding race or colour because, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Caymanians are too busy resenting expats to have time for intra-community squabbles.â&#x20AC;? No matter where we are from in the region, we can tell stories of xenophobia and intraregional prejudice. It might be a brutal message for some, but, quite frankly, the future of the region lies in integration of some sort or another. These five women are a reflection of just how great we can be if we embrace our differences and the indisputable value diversity brings. e woman magazine

Tami is the Creator, Executive Producer, and host of ‘Tami Live!’ - designed to inspire, motivate, and uplift. ‘Tami Live’ explores a wide range of topics from, “Embracing Adversity” to “Is 40 the new 20?” A discussion usually ensues with key guests, followed by segments such as, “Tami’s Highlights”, which features products and places, “Tami’s Bucket of Happiness”, and a segment entitled, “Things that make you go, ‘hmmm’”. ‘Tami Live’ always ends on an inspirational note to promote positive thought and action. ‘Tami Live’ was launched on Jahphix Television (JTV), in June 2011, in Tortola, Virgin Islands, and within five months, the ‘Tami Live’ website (www.tamilive.tv), its Facebook page (www.facebook.com/TamiLive) and the ‘Tami Live’ DVD collection followed. She comments, “Creating and hosting my very own talk show has been a dream since I was 13 years old, but seeing it come to fruition, was surreal.” ‘Tami Live’ has since expanded its viewership and stepped out into the regional market, now airing in four Caribbean Countries: the Virgin Islands, Turks and Caicos, St. Kitts and Nevis, and the Cayman Islands. Tami is also the host of Teen Talk - a radio talk show specifically geared towards youth empowerment. The show airs every Saturday morning from 10:00 to 11:00 a.m., on www. zbviradio.com. She further comments, “There is a segment of a song that says, ‘feel the rain on your skin, no one else can feel it for you.’” Suffice it to say that Tami is certainly feeling the rain.

What are your personal goals and aspirations by the age of 40?

Tamara Archibald Gill

s a television and radio personality, an inspirational and motivational speaker, and the manager of a vibrant dance group of young people called J.A.D. (Just Appreciate Dancing), Tamara Archibald Gill defies categorisation. Tami was born in Grenada, grew up in St. Kitts and then moved to Antigua when she was thirteen years old. In 1997, after graduating from the University of Nevada, Las Vegas in the United States on an Athletic Scholarship, she returned to the Caribbean - Tortola, BVI which has become her home.

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My personal goals include uplifting, motivating, and inspiring as many people as I can, through my talks, and through ‘Tami Live’, to embrace life with positive thoughts and action…to continue promoting the ‘Happy Revolution’. I would like the inspiration of ‘Tami Live’ to take on a life of its own, and not just entertain my audience, but motivate people to personify positive energy. And yes! I would love to take a semi-nude photograph of myself when I turn 40...let’s see how that goes. I am going to embrace 40 as if it really is the new 20! Here is to life and the LIVING of it!

What is your advice to other young Caribbean women?

My advice to young women would be to recognise the power in their voices and to embrace it, own it, and protect the fact that their leadership will shape our future. Most of all, my advice to them would be to embrace the very essence of Continued on page 49

ennifer Potter-Questelles, was born in the Virgin Islands and can trace her roots back at least two generations. Her husband originally hails from St. Vincent and the Grenadines and one of her sons was born in Puerto Rico (his impatient arrival interrupted a shopping trip, she light-heartedly explains).

Jennifer has been employed with the BVI Financial Services Commission for ten years, where she’s held the position of Deputy Managing Director, since 2005. Among others, Jennifer has been credited with the development of a state-of-the-art, modernised system to replace an antiquated one used at the BVI Financial Services Commission’s Registry of Corporate Affairs. This is especially significant as the Financial Services Commission collects about 60% of the government’s total annual revenue, with the Registry of Corporate Affairs being responsible for over 90% of that. She comments, “People generally are nervous and uncomfortable with the large scale change a project like this requires and there were many who didn’t think the project was wise.” She further explains, “As executive director for the multi-million dollar project, I managed a large team of technical and operations personnel, project managers and developers.” Today the introduction of the new system and the processes it uses, have increased the processing capacity at Registry of Corporate Affairs by over 80% and gives the territory an additional competitive advantage in financial services.

What are your personal goals and aspirations by the age of 40?

My personal goal for my next decade is to achieve a better work/ life balance that affords me more time to honour my true interests and passions. I find demonstrating assertiveness easier in my professional life. I’ve heard that in your 40s you feel more comfortable saying “no”, so I am personally preparing myself for it. I have also decided to study relaxation techniques and other teachings from the East, as part of my personal growth.

What is your advice to other young Caribbean women?

Through my involvement with Zonta International, an organisation that seeks to advance the status of women worldwide, I have really come to appreciate how truly alike most women are - our needs and desires. Seize every interesting opportunity that presents itself, even when you are not sure exactly what it will lead to. I’ve had the opportunity to experience so much personally and professionally by just accepting different opportunities and even volunteering for some assignments. Wake up every day and remind yourself your best days are still ahead of you. It’s an exciting time to be you. Listen to your

Jennifer Potter-Questelles intuition. It’s something that I believe is strong in women and rarely leads us astray. Guard your reputation, because being known as a woman who has integrity, knows her self-worth and is honest, fair and dependable is an invaluable asset. Welcome into your life women of all ages, who you genuinely like and care about, women whose counsel and support you trust, women whose accomplishments you admire. They are invaluable in trying to see your own true reflection as you navigate through life. Continued on page 49 eWoman magazine

atlian Johnson was born in Tortola but grew up in Dominica and Barbados. Though her mother hails from Tortola, her father originally came from the Commonwealth of Dominica.

As a Policy Analyst with the BVI Ministry of Finance, she advises the Government on fiscal and economic policy, and is currently helping to chart the way-forward in reform in this area in the country. She comments, “I eat, drink and sleep public financial management reform. When this is achieved, this will be my greatest professional accomplishment to date.”

What are your personal goals and aspirations by the age of 40?

Start and complete my doctorate degree in Public Policy at Rand (she crosses her fingers and smiles brightly), climb Mount Kilimanjaro and go on a long cycling trip - I have not decided where yet.

What is your advice to other young Caribbean women?

Always have a plan. Your plan should be based on what you want to achieve in life not what persons around you want or what society expects. Although there will be obstacles on your journey, be confident that you will overcome them and [modify] your plan if you have to, remember life is dynamic and full of surprises. Never become discouraged and lose sight of your goals when things do not go your way. View every disappointment as an opportunity and use it to your advantage. Stay focused and have FUN reaching your goals!

What is your hope for the BVI and by extension the Caribbean region in the next decade?

Patlian Johnson

On a path towards economic sustainability by investing in the technical capability of our people, through focused education while encouraging innovativeness and inventiveness. (Patlianholds a Bachelor of Science degree in Economics and Accounting and a Master’s of Science degree in Economics and Finance. Patlian has lectured in Finance and Economics, and provides guidance to many people regarding personal financial management, public speaking and speech writing, health and fitness, career and academic advancement and other women’s-related issues.)

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aloma Helm was born in the British Virgin Islands to an Argentinean mother and a British father. Along with her husband, Paloma owns “The Dove Restaurant”, a fine-dining restaurant and wine bar housed in an historic cottage, in Road Town, in the capital of the BVI. The couple also operates a boutique hotel in the Western part of the island called Frenchman’s (frenchmansbvi.com). Paloma credits the restaurant as among her greatest accomplishments. The restaurant has been a chic and elegant part of the BVI social landscape for more than eight years – a very long time by industry standards – and has been rated # 1 by “Trip Advisor” and recently voted the best restaurant in the BVI in the Reader’s Choice Awards. To transform a “ramshackle, rundown” building into a thriving business is truly amazing. If staff satisfaction and return customers are any indication of a restaurants success, then “The Dove” is off the scale.

What are your personal goals and aspirations by the age of 40?

To have a healthy and happy family (with hopefully one more child), and to be financially secure enough to be able to offer my children every opportunity possible. Education is always the best investment. I wouldn’t mind fitting back into my wedding dress also.

What is your advice to other young Caribbean women?

Have a positive attitude and a strong work ethic - you don’t always get what you wish for; you get what you work for. I believe that if you are truly driven to succeed, then you will; but you have to be willing to put in the hours and hard work required.

What is your hope for the BVI and by extension the Caribbean region in the next decade?

Paloma Helm

I’m a proud BVIslander, but am ashamed at the small-mindedness that still exists here. I wish that we would learn to embrace our diversity and treat everyone equally: regardless of nationality, race, sexual orientation or gender. If the population of the BVI worked together and everyone was allowed and encouraged to contribute to our country then the possibilities would be endless. Paloma holds a Bachelor of Science Degree in Communication, from the University of Miami. She also attended the Antilles School in St. Thomas, United States Virgin Islands. She is a proud member of the Rotary Club of Tortola.

eWoman magazine

hough born in the Dominican Republic to Dominican parents, the British Virgin Islands is all that Martha Ramirez Torres knows, as she has lived there since the age of seven and considers herself a true ‘BVIslander’.

As a medical doctor at Peebles Hospital, she is usually one of the first points of contact for patients. Martha has an Associate’s degree in Biology from Spelman College and obtained her medical degree from the University of the West Indies. She also studied cardiology at Kings College, London. Prior to her post at Peebles Hospital, she worked at Queen Elizabeth Hospital, Barbados. She is currently involved with “Hands on Volunteers” - an organisation working with orphans in Haiti. Martha loves nature, spending her spare time running and enjoying the BVI’s beaches. She also loves to dance, cook, read and like most women, shop.

What are your personal goals and aspirations by the age of 40?

I would like to have specialized. Eventually I see myself back in the BVI contributing to an improving health care system. I am currently undecided as to what specialty I want to do. I’ve changed my mind a few times throughout the years. Choosing a specialty is a really big deal. There are many factors to consider (subject matter, patient demographics, life style, availability of training posts, etc.) My son is the biggest factor affecting my decision, because my most important goal is to raise a healthy, happy child.

What is your advice to other young Caribbean women?

Value, respect and love yourself. With knowledge of how much we are worth, we work for and expect the best. We tend to settle because we either didn’t prepare to our fullest capacity or we think we can’t do any better. This applies to education, jobs Martha Ramirez Torres and relationships. Looking back on a few hard moments in my life , I can see that had I known my worth I would not have Martha Ramirez Torres Apparel by the Family Tree, Wickham’s Cay, Tortola, BVI undermined my own success by settling for so little from myself and others.

What is your hope for the BVI and by extension the Caribbean region in the next decade?

I would like our citizens to realise how lucky we are, what a beautiful country we live in, and treat it as such. I would like our government to help the country reach its full potential by improving infrastructure and protecting our natural resources. For the young people, I would like us to take it upon ourselves to enrich our country with professionals.

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(Martha has an Associate’s degree in Biology from Spelman College and obtained her Medical degree from the University of the West Indies. She also studied cardiology at Kings College, London. Prior to her post at Peebles Hospital, she worked at Queen Elizabeth Hospital, Barbados.

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One woman would have to put her life on the line to get away from an abusive lover. Read how the Caribbean's need for shelters for battered women can play a role in keeping them in violent relationships. rouched over, hands shielding her face from the punches and kicks he rained down on her cowering body, in the kitchen of a crowded restaurant as the fun and gaiety of the St. Maarten carnival carried on just outside the doors, Ceece Smith never imagined her idyllic island adventure would end up like this. In 1981, when one of Ceeceâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s dentist friends extended an invitation for her to travel with him during his annual winter sailing mission to St. Maarten to provide health services

Against Women in the Caribbean By Inderia Saunders

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to the American expats living there, she thought it the grandest idea. And initially, it was. “My intention was to just go for that one winter,” she remembered. “But, I made some friends and fell in love with the place. There was a woman who was running a restaurant, who helped me get my papers and so I stayed.” Things seemed to get even better, when just one week into her new life, Ceece attended a party on a boat thrown by some friends. There, she met John — one of the most charming, popular and engaging men at the party — and fell instantly in love. The feeling appeared to be mutual and they immediately became a couple, spending every second of free time, they had together. In a week’s time they were already living together — a danger sign for many abusive situations that Ceece just could not recognize at the time. “I was so head over heels in love with him,” she says. “He was the greatest guy, he was handy and everyone wanted to be friends with him and I was so thrilled that he was with me, because everyone liked him so much.” Blinded by the magnitude of her feelings, Ceece did not immediately pick up on the early signs of abuse: the negative comments, the increased consumption of alcohol, the isolation from her friends or the controlling behaviour. It was easy at first to excuse the changes in their relationship. She had moved off the boat and was now living in a remote area, farther away from her friends, which later became an issue for Ceece, given her lack of transportation. John had moved in with her, but she was the only one paying rent and the bills. Though not overnight, the charm seemed to just disappear as if attached to an automated switch and John’s behaviour changed. He would leave her stranded in the house while he went out. He stopped wanting to have her by his side in public and he

would yell at her when things weren’t perfect around the house or dinner wasn’t prepared. Within eight months, he replaced the screaming with the hitting. “One night I was on my hands and knees complaining about not liking to clean up the bathroom and I got beat up for that,” she recalls. “Soon I was missing work and people would notice that I had bruises. “But just so classic, he would be so sorry and he would just cry and beg me to forgive him.” After a year and a half of this, she began trying to leave, seeking the support of her friends. But, on the small island of St. Maarten, it was easier said than done. “People would just not believe what I was saying about him because he never showed a sign [of violence] to anyone else,” she said. “When I would tell people, they would say stop making him so mad. I was like ‘are you kidding me’ I spent all of my time trying not to make him mad.” Going to the police was also of no assistance, with Ceece being told on numerous occasions that the authorities would not get involved in private domestic disputes and were only concerned with what happened out in public. Added to that, John was well known, despite him not being a native of that particular island. With every setback, John’s controlling behaviour grew, with him now following her to work and sitting at the end of the bar to keep an eye on her during her shift. He would intensely monitor her interactions with all customers, but mainly watching the men she would serve. It eventually became a nerve wrecking experience, as male customers were unavoidable. Some nights when she would get home, he would pounce on her, calling her a “bitch” and beating her for any kind of imaginary flirting with other men. “I felt trapped,” she said. “I was thousands of miles away from home and

surrounded by people who were supporting him.” She almost gave up trying to get away, with no where to run that would give her the support she needed to change her life, until — standing in the hot sun two years from the time they met, during a jovial carnival parade — an idea hit her. “I saw two policemen and I said if I made him mad enough, he would attack me and they would have to stop him,” said Ceece. “I remembered they said only if he did something in public. “So I decided to provoke him in public.” And that she did. She started cursing him out at the parade in front of everyone — something she knew he wouldn’t tolerate — and true to form, his hand rose to the occasion. He began beating her down outside during the parade and as she ran screaming — past the policemen — he chased her, slapping and punching along the way. “I ran into the kitchen [of a restaurant] and he beat me down to the ground in there and the policemen had to come in and pull him off of me. “They arrested him and took him and it turned out that he was illegal on the island and shortly after, he was deported.” The lessons learned from that experience, however, were ever present, even though she was now way out of harm’s way. But, the memories of having no one to turn to in her time of need haunted her and she couldn’t forget how he would follow her everywhere she would run to. So, when a friend and her kids were killed by her husband soon thereafter on the island, Ceece decided to take action. She began the process of establishing a shelter on the island, informal at first, that would act as a safe place for many women in abusive relationships who were without support. But, before it had time to flourish, it was shut down when, like a scene out of a movie, a government official came knocking at her door.

Continued on page 56

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Caribbean

Weddings J

une is perhaps the most romantic month after the month of February. This month marks the official beginning of summer weddings, one of the most beautiful celebrations of a couple’s life.

Here are some helpful tips to make your day brighter. So he proposed—savour the moment and don’t rush into the mania of wedding planning ----take your time and plan the day that you will remember for a lifetime. Both of you have ideas on where and when you want to get married, but ensure that you are on the same page before moving forward. This is the beginning of your lives as one and you want to ensure that you start out on the right foot. Prepare a budget and try as much as possible to stick to it. If you can, engage the assistance of a wedding planner. This person can help to ease the stress of planning an event that requires every attention to detail. If you cannot afford the luxury of professional help, call on a family member or close friend to carry some of the weight. Pay attention to every detail—from the invitations, rings and flowers, to the reception fare and music. The day is special for both of you, but you want to pay special attention to your gown and accessories. When you walk up the aisle, you want it to be simply magical. You and your special gentleman say I do and venture into a life of wedded bliss.

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The Proposal

Jonathan (Jay Arie) Forbes

eWoman magazine

The Ring Photo courtesy of Jonathan (Jay Arie) Forbes

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Photo courtesy of Jonathan (Jay Arie) Forbes

The Invitation

Photo courtesy of Jonathan (Jay Arie) Forbes

The Perfect Pair eWoman magazine

Photo courtesy of Jonathan (Jay Arie) Forbes

Lady inWaiting 44

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A Caribbean

Wedding Story

We are now husband and wife

Kareem Nelson Hull of the British Virgin Islands met Ruthanna Young of the Cayman Islands in the fall of 2004 at a meeting of the Caribbean Studentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Association at the University of Miami. They soon forged a relationship and three years later, KareemNelson proposed on the 24th of July. They were married in a lavish ceremony on November 26th, 2011.

ain Oh the Tr

A perfect

picture

Framed PHOTOs Courtesy of David Goddard

The first dance

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Summer i n t h e B r i t i s h V i rg i n I s l a n d s

“To discover a Caribbean Island that I never even knew existed was the beginning of a real love story.” By Portia Harrigan

t was back in 1982. I was sitting on the stoop of the college cafeteria, peering up at a group of young men deeply engrossed in a wildly animated discussion on Caribbean politics.

There among them, Nigerian, Jamaican, Bahamian and one tall red skinned chap from the BVI I was told by my friend sitting next to me. “The BVI, where is that,” I asked curiously. I thought this young man quite an interesting character and to me the BVI must be one of those really strange tourist destinations where people only wore red, green or blue tropical print shirts with sail boats and palm trees, khaki pants and brown work boots, because this is all this guy wore. I’d been watching him for a few weeks now and though not the deep chocolate brown, athletic type, I preferred, I did find him mysteriously attractive. I turned to my friend and said, “ I must meet him and you will arrange it.” Two weeks later my friend had arranged for me to meet this young, tall, red skinned BVIslander-as I later learned he was called -under the guise of accounting lessons and the rest is history. Because of this meeting and the ensuing romance, I was able to explore one of the most beautiful places on earth. I made my first trek and indeed it was just that-to the British Virgin Islands in May of 1984 for a very short week, travelling from Nassau, Bahamas to Miami, Florida, then onto

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Gorda y, Virgin a B g n ri p S

St. Thomas United States Virgin Islands and then to BVI by boat (my very first boat trip-which was a real awakening for me).

Virgin Gorda Pool at the Baths,

My beautiful turquoise Androsia sundress, which I had so carefully selected and paired with 3 inch, white Nine West sandals had lost all it’sits crispness by the time I arrived at my destination and all of the romantic thoughts had long gone on their own voyage to some far away land. This was my first long trip (8 hours all told) and I was not happy that I had not been forewarned. The week flew by and I did not get the opportunity to truly explore the islands, but I was back in August of that same year. This time I knew what to expect in terms of travel, wore flat shoes and a straw hat for my upper deck seat on my boat ride to Tortola. This time though, there was one more leg to my journey. Once I arrived to Tortola, I had to get on another boat to Virgin Gorda, because the red skinned young man had taken up employment at Biras Creek Resort.

Road town, Tor tola

gin Gorda Mine, Vir er p p o C e Th

“I had spent my summer vacation on one of the sweetest places on earth. ”

This time, I had an entire month to explore the wonderment of the Baths. For the first time, I was introduced to a low rise, Garden of Eden like resort-Little Dix Bay Resort. I had come from a country of mass tourism, where hotels were tall, cookie cutter towers of concretethe hotels were huge in comparison. As a matter of fact, I had just completed my internship at a 2,000 room property on Paradise Island in the Bahamas. Virgin Gorda was like a dream. I spent my days glorying in the BVI sun, walking from the Valley to Savannah Bayand , walking from the Valley to Spring Bay. I hung out at the Bath and Turtle and taking the boat to Tortola to buy groceries was became quite the adventure. My red skinned guy took me by motor bike to the North Sound to take the little boat over to Biras to indulge in the most scrumptious meals. He arranged for the doctor from Biras to take us sailing. I had never been on a sailboat before and apart from the initial nausea, it was one of my most memorable experiences. I fell in love. To this day, I don’t know for sure if I married him because of love of man or love of country. At the end of August, I had to pack my bags for my return to the Bahamas. I was returning to the paradise that up to that point I had not a chance to be a tourist. My skin tone had gone from cocoa to a deep dark coffee. I’d clearly spent too much time in the sun, but it was like my trophy. I had spent my summer vacation on one of the sweetest places on earth. I had spent my summer vacation on Virgin Gorda in the British Virgin Islands and I loved every moment of it. •

Photos Courtesy of Norman Allen and the BVI Tourist Board

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Tamara Archibald Gill Continued from page 32

Jennifer Potter-Questelles Continued from page 33

life; not to rush, as every moment is an incredible gift from God that should be treasured every day.

What is your hope for the BVI and by extension the Caribbean region in the next decade?

That we as Caribbean people forge a stronger bond with each other, and realise that we are an incredible force to be reckoned with; we are AWESOME people! I hope we can pull together to rid ourselves of crime and discord; that we reinforce the richness of our culture and moral values to our young people; and that we make the shift in our communities to promote peace throughout our islands. (As a former track and field scholarship recipient, Tami earned a Bachelor’s Degree in Communications and Marketing. In June 2011, she was recognised by the Rotary Club Sunrise of Road Town and awarded with the Paul Harris Fellow Award for her work with young people. She is the Public Relations Manager for the BVI Health Services Authority, a post she has held for the past 4 years.)

My hope for the BVI over the next 5-10 years is that there is a renaissance of sorts, a rebirth or a re-dedication of spirit in all of us. Our parents, grand-parents and great, grand-parents lived lives that demonstrated determination, a pride of character, great work ethics and a will to not only succeed but to be successful. I think as a people if we embrace those ideals and characteristics, that feeling of true empowerment will ensure the viability and progression of the Virgin Islands. Sometimes we are distracted by our small differences as individuals but we all yearn for a BVI that is good for all of us. I hope that as Virgin Islanders and Caribbean people generally, we will embrace an entrepreneurial spirit and make the necessary contributions, so that the BVI and the region can forge ahead. This is so important to ensuring that we are a part of the new global landscape in a visible and meaningful way, that truly benefits us as a people. (Jennifer holds a Bachelor of Science in Information Systems, a Master’s of Business Administration in Finance and a Master’s of Law degrees.)

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So, Why Did I Get

Married?

Our second installation of “The diary of a mad Caribbean Woman.”

By Kevon Lightbourne

“I am calm… I am confident … I am resilient.” I repeat the mantra several times, while keeping an ear out in case the kids have gotten out of bed; but it does not seem to be producing the desired effect, as I am definitely not feeling calm, confident or resilient at this point. After breathing out a final, long cleansing breath, through pursed lips and to a count of six, I give up and turn to my old ‘go-to’ of last resort, my own concoction - store bought chamomile tea mixed with lemon grass (some call it fever grass) I pick from the garden . (Note to self: Must reprimand gardener for not doing such a good job in the back yard, as the neighbour’s very fecund bougainvilleas are once again encroaching on my property and threatening to ruin my beautiful, hybrid hibiscus plants.)

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Thankfully, the tea combination, along with a Valium, seem to be producing the desired effect, and I am now able to wind down and concentrate on completing some of the tasks I can only accomplish after the children have been put to bed. (What after-school events are scheduled for tomorrow? Is it piano and soccer or ballet and karate?) Between prepping the cheese salad for tomorrow’s lunch, seasoning fish for a rare mid-week dinner treat for my husband and plastering on an exfoliating sulphur mask with retinol and agedefying micro-beads (it really does work, I think that the fruit acids do lift away dead cells to reveal glowing, more even toned and vibrantly youthful skin), I realise that Hubby is not home as yet. Why will I only now realise this is perhaps another entry, but the sad fact is that on any given night he might either be working late or down at the local bar with some of his friends for “just one drink, I swear” – his usual retort. And then, there are the darts and baseball teams. (Note: Must check to see when the baseball season starts and surprise Wally, Shakey, Big Mo and the other players with sandwiches and beer. What should I wear? Something that would make the other guys envious of Hubby, but not appear scettel or junglist.)*

lay-offs. (Note to self: Carry in brownies, as pick-me-up for staff and compile report of added-value I bring to company.) (Sigh!) Thank you that the children are doing well in school and seem adjusted and Kendal has finally stopped pulling on his pee-pee. (Double sigh!) Congratulations to me, I have finally reached my ideal weight – got the terrific news at the weigh-in today and Mary, my main competitor, was none too happy - she ‘cut her eyes’ and created an excuse to leave early – what a thrill! (Don’t want to be a nagging wife and call Hubby.) Aunt Mildred called today to say that she is expecting the kids for the summer which means two whole months of glorious, parent-free time. (Note to self: Must start reminders about manners while en-route to school and create an email address for the children to write.) Where is Hubby? (How would I look in widow’s black? Would a scarf and large shades look good for an old Hollywood glamour or one of the new chic mini-hats and a small, fish-net veil for a younger, fresher look?) All these thoughts are starting to get me jittery and I remember the caramel, fudge brownie ice-cream hidden in the back of the freezer – well, so long diet! I decide to abandon feelings of gratitude for the moment until I could calm myself; what started out as an ambient and minor nagging is quickly escalating to an all out fret-fit. Hubby usually is not this late or would have called already.

My end-of-day gratitude ritual, like prayer, is part of a small

arsenal of things that keep me

grounded and healthy … this is one

Finally, after setting my hair in foam rollers (call me oldfashioned), I retire to bed with my gratitude journal. The layered haircut is working well and the new stylist that Kathy hired, some guy that recently returned home from Beauty School in New York, was definitely correct when he tweeted, “Sweetie, you must get something that frames your face.” My end-of-day gratitude ritual, like prayer, is part of a small arsenal of things that keep me grounded and healthy … this is one of the few things I do solely for ME. I recall the day’s events or my life generally and record the things for which I am most thankful. You would not believe how such a simple thing can help to banish the insidious thoughts, negative emotions and venomous words coming from toxic people and the general vagaries of life that sap at your self-esteem, self-efficacy and self-worth. Here goes:

of the few things I do solely for ME. I recall the day’s events or my life

Thinking about Hubby, I can’t help but remember the days of singleness; how I yearned to get married. I can’t seem to recall when the desire for being “Mrs. Somebody” even crystallised, as it always seemed to have been there, just lingering outside of my consciousness, exerting subtle yet powerful influences on all major decisions.

generally and record the things for which I am most thankful.

The day has been one of those especially hellish ones. I think the Bangles sang “Looks like a manic Monday” but what happens when the first three days of the week are all manic, troublesome and taxing. Boss is cranky lately and hinting at 52

eWoman magazine

I recall being woken up by Aunt Mildred, with whom I grew up, to watch a grainy broadcast of Princess Diana getting married. Mesmerised, I held my breath (perhaps along with millions of other wide-eyed teenage girls) as the beautiful Princess, hidden behind a gossamer veil, emerged from an antique carriage to reveal a billowing, voluminous dress of ivory silk and a train that seemed to trail endlessly behind her, and “sown,” the doting commentator explained, “with 10,000 mother-of-pearl sequins.” This was the stuff that dreams were made of and the ill-starred marriage did nothing to quell my yearning for a similar “fairy-tale” wedding.

Of course, my wedding dress was more modern, lacking the puffy “lamp shade” sleeves, girlish high waist and enormous marshmallow skirt. Rather, it possessed a slimmer silhouette that accentuated the curves just so, while still evoking a virginal quality; and the train – all sixteen feet of it – was studded in Swarovski crystals. I looked simply stunning! The irony of it all is that I am now pining for those days of carefree singleness. This irony is only compounded by the fact that I do love Hubby and the kids are an integral part of my identity (how can I not feel so when I nurtured them inside my body and continue to do so even after they both decided to prematurely and violently exit)...perhaps this is not so much an irony as it is a paradox. (Note: Must look up the meaning of these words – no, more appropriately, literary devices - in my old English textbook). Despite being distracted by the internal grammar debate, I am painfully aware that my life does not belong to me any longer. It defies logic, but you cannot stop the collective fascination girls have with weddings, anymore than you can stop them wanting to be princesses – even girls in the Caribbean. (Prince Harry marrying a black girl – now that’s a thought!) The sad fact is that so many young women rush, hurdling blindly into marriage and motherhood because it is encouraged and expected of us. Even in these post modern times, the age-old debates of wanton harlot versus the suave gigolo, the neglectful mother versus the father out providing for his family, and the spinster versus the confirmed bachelor, among others, still are unresolved and hot topics. So

many of us still measure our worth by our ability to get and keep a man. While I do not consider myself a poster child for women’s liberation, I like to think of myself as being on equal footing as men in the workplace and, regarding the family and all home matters, I dig my feet in regarding matters that I consider important. In fact, Hubby rarely makes decisions without first consulting me (I’ve taught him well). However, a disproportionate amount of the housework and child-rearing still fall on my shoulders, while he is out gallivanting, like a perpetual college jock with his cronies. (Now, I think that I definitely will call to ascertain his whereabouts.) Maybe I could create and patent a GPS device to keep track of wayward husbands, I bet that would make a killing. And while I am on the subject of subjective equality, why must his stomach start to protrude over his belt while I work feverishly to maintain the lithe, lissom figure that I had when we first met (an almost impossible task, post two pregnancies). Just as I am about to pick up the phone, I hear the tell-tale sounds of the car pulling into the driveway and I add an imaginary entry to my gratitude journal – thank God that Hubby is okay not quite ready to be a widow. (Sigh again) Despite my relief, I gather my wits about me, along with best fighting words, pull a few curlers from the front of my ‘granny’ cap, and quickly decide to change from the flannel, ankle length nightgown into a more provocative, barely-covering-my-assets teddy. Now I’m ready for battle, but I just may allow him to win the war. After all, a girl can’t appear too eager to please. •

*Scettel/junglist – slang used for over-sexualised woman who flaunts sexually in a vulgar way. Also associated with aggressiveness, lacking class and finesse. e woman magazine

c i s u M e Sh

Summer time is reserved for our special, Soca, Calypso, Reggae and Zouk. Up and down the archipelagic chain you will hear the sweet melodic sounds of Caribbean music, at the various celebratory events. This summer, listen out for the voices of two top female performers.

St. Lucian Claudia Edward, born in Martinique, beautiful, soulful, versatile

Interesting Facts: Began performing professionally at age 14, starting out as a lead vocalist in church choir Claudia writes most of her own material and has collaborated with internationally renowned St. Lucian musicians Ronald Boo Hinkson, Christopher Neil, T C Brown, Regional Artists “Bad Gyal Cecile” of Jamaica, Michele Henderson of Dominica as well as famed music producer Jonathan Waller of the United States. She has performed in Barbados, Costa Rica, New York (Labor Day), Grenada (Spice Jazz) and in the neighboring French Isle of Martinique to name a few. Toured Europe with Nobel Laureate, Derrick Walcott as lead singer for his band and played the main female role of “Helen of Troy” in his play “The Odyssey”. She studied Hotel & Tourism Management at Institiut Vatel in Nimes, France, studying in French and receiving a double degree – International BA and European Licence. Was last employed in the tourism sector as an Ambassador to the French market for a local hotel making full use of her second language French. So much so, that her latest album “Mic Check” features Claudia singing in French and English on two of the tracks (“Tonite” and “Longing”) 54

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St. Vincent Nicole ‘Nicki’ David born in St. Lucia: sultry, sexy, super talented.

Interesting Facts: She started singing in church and school, but her first taste of showmanship was with the ‘Sapphires’. Lead singer of the Sapphires Gospel group at the age of 11. Moved to Canada after high school, pursuing vocal training at a music school in Montreal. Performed as the lead singer of the Band Groove Masters in Montreal, Canada. Has performed alongside Sparrow, Crazy, Edwin Yearwood & Crossfire, Ronnie McIntosh, Iwa George, Denise Belfont and Miriam Makeba Returned to St. Lucia in 1997, joining the band De N5 and releasing her first song “Put your Waist Into It”, written by Rameses Browne and produced by Nicholas Branker of Barbados. She released her first solo album in 2004 “Hott Out De Kitchen”, with hit singles such as Jabbal, Mate, Shoo Fly and Hott Girls, featuring Anesha and the late Jany Williams. She won the coveted Road March title in 2005 with her mega hit, Queen of the Jungle and landed the largest endorsement deal by any St. Lucian artist in 2006, with Digicel. Although she is mostly known for her soca hits, in 2009 Nicole was amongst the headliners for the St. Lucia Jazz main stage where she was given the opportunity to show her versatility as an artiste. She was a part of the Divas ensemble which included mega stars like Patti La Belle and Chaka Chan and accompanied by accomplished musician George Duke and his band. Nicole David is truly talented and is a master at everything she does. These days she is busy acting. She stars in the new Lucian Soap Opera, Island Secrets where she plays the role of Cheryl Dextar known as Mrs D or Madam Boss. This small Island girl, referred to as St. Lucia’s First Lady of Soca has definitely proved that she is a Diva, a great Artiste, and a St. Lucian Icon.

e woman magazine

Violence

Continued from page 40

FACT:

Domestic abuse happens when the perpetrator is someone who the victim has entrusted with his/her life, finances and safety and is then betrayed in the cycle of domestic violence.

“It was 9 o’clock at night and I opened the door,” Ceece recalls. “And the [government official] was there looking at me, with a fedora on, obscuring his face and simply said ‘we know what you’re doing and you need to stop. Your papers will be pulled if you persist’.” Though she left the country in the months following that incident to return to her home in the U.S., her experiences on the island would stay with her for a lifetime.Today, Ceece is a Director at the Partnership Against Domestic Violence, the largest nonprofit domestic violence organization in the state of Georgia, which provides professional, compassionate, and empowering support to battered women and their children. But, her experiences here in the region highlight the longstanding need for greater awareness of the issues facing each country. In the Caribbean, there have been rising reports of violent acts against women over the last several years. Yet, obtaining numbers on how many women in the region fall victim to domestic abuse has been an onerous task, despite clear need for serious empirical studies and data collection to map the magnitude of the problem.

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Yasmin Solitahe Odlum (above), a Caribbean specialist at the InterAmerican Commission of Women with her colleague Hilary Anderson during a US Embassy women’s empowerment media tour in Washington, DC. (Photo by Anika Kentish)

Caribbean specialist at the InterAmerican Commission of Women, Yasmin Solitahe Odlum, spotlighted several grave issues that leave women more vulnerable to brutal situations, in the absence of any significant number of shelters for abused women in the region. Among these issues, sexual trafficking ranks highly among them. “There is a sort of confusion in the region as to what is trafficking,” she said. “We know that these exotic bars are cover-ups for some very brutal conditions that women are undergoing as sex workers, as exotic dancers, as people who are in massage parlours and things like that. So I think there is a whole discourse which needs to be had honestly and sensitively.” Activists like Odlum argue that stronger laws and proper development programs are needed to empower women and slash the high rates of domestic abuse in the region. Creating a culture of intolerance of domestic abuse or violence against women in all forms is said to be one of the many ways to realize declines in these areas. For survivors like Ceece, she believes change in the Caribbean can start at the individual

level, with neighbors, friends and family standing up against abuse together. “It certainly seemed to be a problem culturally,” she confided. “I think its true of American men too, but there is some sense of ownership or something about the women. It seems more overt in the Caribbean culture.” The question is how do we start the process of healing? (The names have been changed in this story to protect the identity of the abused victim) •

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Taste of the Islands

There is no doubt that we love to eat, but the younger, trendier crowd is looking for more variety. A tiny waistline for those skimpy festival costumes require lighter fare. But, we still want to enjoy the taste of the islands, so we asked Chef Devan McPhee from Nassau, Bahamas to come up with a light twist on conch and lobster. We couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t resist a real dessert though, so heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s given us a small portion of guava cheesecake with a sea grape sauce. Grilled Conch w/ Pickled Watermelon & Tomato Salad

Food Photography Courtesy of barry williams Food & Recipes by Chef Devan Mcphee

Native Cracked Lobster Guava Cheese Cake

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Grilled Conch w/ Pickled Watermelon & Tomato Salad (Serves 4) 1⁄2 tsp kosher salt 1⁄4 cup sugar 1 tbsp. pickling spices 3⁄4 tsp. cayenne, or to taste 1 tbls. distilled white vinegar 3 cloves peeled garlic, smashed & chopped 1⁄2 bunch dill, roots trimmed 1/2-lb. piece watermelon, rind left on, cut into 1”-thick cubes

Method In a large nonreactive bowl or pot, stir together salt, sugar, pickling spices, cayenne, vinegar, garlic, dill, and 4 cups water until salt and sugar dissolve. Submerge the watermelon cubes. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 1 day.

Grilled Conch 2 lbs conch, trimmed, cleaned Salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste 1 medium onion, very finely chopped 1 whole roasted tomato clove garlic, minced Hot chili peppers, such as bird pepper, minced (for a milder dish, seed the chilis) Lime juice, fresh 1/2 stick of unsalted butter

Method: Preheat the grill to high. Tenderize the conch steaks by pounding them with a meat mallet or rolling pin to a 1/4-inch thickness. Season on both sides with salt and pepper. When ready to cook, oil the grill grate. Arrange the conch on the hot grate and quickly grill, turning with tongs, about 1 minute per side. (The idea here is to achieve grill marks on the conch and impart a charcoal flavour.) Transfer the steaks to a platter to cool. Cut four 12 3/ 8-inch sheets of heavy-duty aluminum foil. Place 1 large or 2 small conch steaks in the centre of each piece. Combine the onion, garlic, tomato and chili in a bowl, and then place 3 to 4 tablespoons of this mixture on top of each steak. Drizzle each steak with 1/2 tablespoon lime juice and top with 1 tablespoon butter. Bring the sides of the foil up over the top and pleat to make an airtight package. When ready to cook, arrange the foil packages on the hot grate and grill until the conch is cooked through and tender, about 5 minutes (a metal skewer inserted into the conch through the foil will be very hot when withdrawn).

To serve Arrange pickled watermelon on plates and top with sliced grilled conch.

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Guava Cheese Cake 1 2/3 cups sugar, divided 1 cup graham cracker crumbs 1 tablespoon butter, melted Cooking spray 1/2 cup water 1/2 cup fresh lime juice 12 ounces guava paste, cut into small pieces 5 large egg whites, divided 1/2 cup reduced-fat sour cream 2 (8-ounce) packages 1/3-less-fat cream cheese, softened 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract 1/8 teaspoon salt

Method: Preheat oven to 400°. Combine 1/3 cup sugar, crumbs, and butter. Press mixture into bottom and 1/2 inch up sides of a 9-inch spring form pan coated with cooking spray. Bake at 400° for 7 minutes. Cool on a wire rack. Reduce oven temperature to 325°. Combine 1/3 cup sugar, 1/2 cup water, juice, and guava paste in a small saucepan; bring to a boil. Reduce heat, and simmer 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Cool slightly. Pour mixture into a blender, and process until smooth. Cool completely. Stir in 1 egg white. Combine remaining 1 cup sugar, sour cream, and cheese in a medium bowl; beat with a mixer at low speed until smooth. Beat in vanilla and salt. Gradually add remaining 4 egg whites, beating well after each addition. Pour cheese mixture into prepared pan. Drizzle guava mixture over cheese mixture; swirl mixtures using the tip of a knife. Bake at 325° for 45 minutes or until cheesecake centre barely moves when touched. Turn oven off; cool cheesecake in closed oven 30 minutes. Remove cheesecake from oven. Run a knife around outside edge. Cool to room temperature. Cover and chill at least 8 hours before serving.

Sea Grape Sauce 2 cups seagrapes 1/2 cup water 1 cup sugar (white) 1tsp cornstarch

Method: Bring water and sugar to a boil. Add Sea grapes to the syrup and allow to cook until soft Once cooked fully strain the liquid and separate the seeds. Add the liquid back to the stove and add cornstarch cooking gently until it thickens For the recipe on Native Cracked Lobster please visit www.ewomanmagazine.com

Skewers are from Monalisa Hannaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Fab Coastal Picks

Apple Martini (courtesy of The Daily Grind)

2 oz. Vodka I oz Sour apple mix Strawberries and blueberries (for garnish) Slice of lime. Serve

Tequila Sunrise 1.5 oz Tequila Half glass of orange juice (give or take) Swivel of Grenadine Five to ten ice cubes Strawberries and blueberries (for garnish) Mix orange juice and tequila. Shaken or stirred. Serve.

Cocktail Photos courtesy of Barry Williams Assisted by Kat Knowles Drinks by the Daily Grind

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eHappenings Caribbean Summer Festivals Summer is all about fun in the Caribbean-festivals and regattas for almost every day of the summer months. Start out in the Bahamas for Junkanoo Summer festival and continue down the island chain to St. Vincent and the Grenadines and you will not miss a beat.

6/30-8/6

7/9-7/30

07/15-7/21

7/27-8/12

Crop-Over

Junkanoo Summer Festival

Reggae Summer Festival

Emancipation Festival

Bahamas

Jamaica

British Virgin Islands

8/9-14

8/2-12

wednesdays

grenada carnival

anguilla summer festival

bermuda harbour nights

Barbados

7/28-8/12

7/29-8/6

Antigua & Barbuda Festival

Annual carricaou regatta

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Bermuda

Beauty undefined Available exclusively at

Tonique Williams Darling Highway Nassau, Bahamas 242 356 7502 Like Us On:

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