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Editor’s Message Were you aware that a child is abducted every 40 seconds in this country? Moreover, did you know that over 40% of these children are African American? If not, you are not alone because few people are aware of this epidemic. The truth is that African American children receive limited media coverage when they go missing. Sadly, without this exposure it is less likely that they will be safely found. The staff at Peas In Their Pods works diligently to spread awareness about this issue by alerting media outlets as needed when African American children are missing or abducted. Our mission is to make communities aware of the plight of these children, and to make them a national priority. It is our responsibility to ensure the safety of our children. If you suspect any kind of improper behavior report to the proper authorities immediately. The additional resources that this magazine provide also help in bringing awareness to issues that families and individuals are faced with daily, some not personally, but close enough to know someone who may. It still takes a village‌!!! Sincerely, Denise Bethune, Editor-In-Chief Whitesboro, New Jersey www.peasintheirpods.com hfmbc@hotmail.com
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Zara MalaniMalani-Lin AbdurAbdur-Rahee
This past Monday should have been a day filled w year-old mother was to have taken her 3-monthvisit. However, instead of experiencing this excit sid-Din Abdur-Raheem, abducted the baby and c Raritan river.
By now, the world has heard about the disturbin Vennetta for an exclusive interview this week to h ing at times. Clearly fatigued, Venetta candidly t in route to get a temporary restraining order whe scene in the car as she spoke with the police.
“He’s gonna kill her! You gotta find her..you gott Raheem had previously threatened Zara, she rep
“Well…yeah he made threats to me. [That’s] the around here. I know he’s up here. Things like th house. And when I leave out by myself he would
“When asked how she is able to find the resiliency to face each day, Venetta r been through a lot. I’m broke but I’m still alive. I can’t sit up here sulk and I never find her.”
Despite the violent crime that Abdur-Raheem has been charged with to, Ven this case.
I’m not focused on prosecuting Shamsid-Din or anybody else who was an ac about whether or not someone’s gonna pay for this. I don’t have vengeance mistakes. In the bible.. like(sic)..people have to forgive people. As far as you
Although Venetta prefers not to focus on what officials did wrong on that da lines are now under consideration and would lift some of the current restrict General’s Office said today. Although Venetta properly reported the abducti nearly four hours after the abduction.4
em - Missing February 16, 2010
with joy for young mom, Vennetta Benjamin. It was the day that the 23-old daughter, Zara Malani-Lin Abdur-Raheem, to the doctor for a well baby ting milestone, Venetta grieves because a week ago her estranged ex, Shamclaimed to have thrown the infant off of a bridge into the icy water of the
ng facts regarding this case. However, I had the opportunity to speak with hear her perspective. The conversation was quite moving, but also surpristalked about the day that forever changed her life. She shared that she was en she received the call from her sister to go back home. She describes the
ta’ find her!” she screamed through the phone. When I asked her if Abdurplied softly
reason why I was getting [a restraining order]. I [told] my sister..he’s hat happened before where we got into it and he would show up at my d come out of nowhere.”
replied “I don’t know…I’ve always been like this. I’m 23 years old, and I’ve breakdown about it then I don’t find her. That’s going to eat me up more if
netta stressed that she is not interested in dwelling on the legal aspects of
ccomplice to him. I just want my daughter to be found. I’m not worried in my heart. People make mistakes. People do bad things and they make do something to repent, that’ll be something good.”
ay, many do not share her sentiments. New statewide Amber Alert guidetions on issuing an alert when a parent abducts a child, the state Attorney ion, the State Police never issued an Amber Alert until around 8 p.m., 5
As Venetta stressed to listeners during the radio show “I never thought that hurts so, so much. It could be anybody’s child. Look at me! I would have n
The reality is that just under 45% of all children reported missing are Africa when all criteria are met. This is a fact that 12-year-old Jameshia Conner’s winter when her body was in an alley in Chicago. Sadly, reports indicate th
Hopefully the guidelines will change and there will be a more unified and sy learn what key things that they should do if their child goes missing. Knowi
When you call law enforcement, provide your child's name, date of birth, he braces. Tell them when you noticed that your child was missing and what c ο
Request that your child's name and identifying information be immediat Person File.
ο
After you have reported your child missing to law enforcement, call the N phone number, 1-800-THE-LOST (1-800-843-5678). If your computer is Hotline operators via the Internet.
Although it is likely that Amber Alerts will be handled differently as a resul mation has recently surfaced, and the Attorney General said in a press conf “We’ve received some corroboration,” without providing details. We can on her. Gaetane F. Borders, MA,ABD President, Peas In Their Pods
Visit the website for Zara http://hope4zaramalanilin.webs.com/
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t my life would be this way, but this is what is happening to me…and it never thought that this could have happened to me. But it did!”
an American. Far too frequently, they fail to receive the Amber Alert even s family know all too well. She had been missing for two weeks this past hat she had been alive the day prior to her murder.
ystematic way of issuing such needed alerts. In addition, I urge parents to ing these steps can possibly change an outcome:
eight, weight, and any other unique identifiers such as eyeglasses and clothing he or she was wearing.
tely entered into the National Crime Information Center (NCIC) Missing
National Center for Missing & Exploited Children on our toll-free teles equipped with a microphone and speakers you may talk to one of our
lt of baby Zara’s abduction, this is of no solace to her mother. New inforference that “the end of the story is going to be a very, very tragic one” and nly pray that baby Zara will be found and reunited with those that love
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March Contributors Ron Walker Coalition of Schools Educating Boys of Color (COSEBOC) Gaetane Borders Parenting Corner Matthew Steven Raising Him Alone Sharon Fox Southern Hospitality Patti Fitzgerald Safety Ever After Inc. Patti Holmes Monthly Treats 9
Ron Walker is Executive Director and one of the foundin of Schools Educating Boys of Color (COSEBOC). Mr. Wa Director of ATLAS Communities, a comprehensive schoo over 100 schools across the country in urban, suburban,
Mr. Walker shared responsibility with the Director for lea of ATLAS activities and staff. Mr. Walker oversaw delive in outreach, marketing, and related fund raising and deve strengthen ATLAS’ organizational capacity and had prim Principals Institute and related leadership activities.
The Coalition of Schools Educating Boys of Color (COSEBOC) promotes the color. We are a networked learning community of educators, researchers, po quality professional development so they can realize this vision of making su COSEBOC intends to develop a collaborative network of schools that nurtur committed to high standards, exemplary instruction, and the building of coa
The intended long-term outcome of this coalition will be boys of color who a ally. These schools will serve as models for the educational community, ena schools. COSEBOC will contribute to the body of research on achievement i The long-term goals of COSEBOC are:
Define high standards for schools successfully educating boys of color Convene member schools for sharing of promising practices and communit Establish network of highly respected educators, researchers, policy-makers Model promising practices and provide professional development for educa Support research and policy development related to pertinent issues concer Conduct advocacy with policy makers and elected officials in keeping with t Establish and promote a career pathway for boys of color to become educato Raise the visibility of COSEBOC research, the defined needs of boys, and su
Strategic alliances and partnerships are a key strategy for implementing all able research, conferences, pre-service and in-service education of teachers 10 munity-building organizations will support the academic and social develop For Additional Information: http://www.coseboc.org/index.htm
ng members of the Coalition alker is the former Associate ol reform organization with and rural school districts.
adership and management ery of services to selected districts and worked in tandem with the Director velopment efforts. He identified and negotiated strategic alliances that mary responsibility for the development and management of the annual
e re-imagining of the schooling experience for boys and young men of olicy-makers and caring adults. We support school leaders with high uccess an attainable goal for every male student of color re success in boys of color. Working with these schools, COSEBOC is alitions within and outside the community.
are fully equipped to achieve academically, socially and emotionabling educators to replicate the promising practices modeled in these in Black and Latino boys.
ty-building s, and advocates focused on educating boys of color ators to replicate them widely rning the education of males of color the needs of boys of color and COSEBOC’s adopted standards ors uccesses in successfully addressing those needs.
of these goals. Partnerships with institutions of higher education will enand school leaders. Partnerships with education development and com11 pment of students served. Email: info@coseboc.org Phone: 781-775-9461 Fax: 781-593-8961
KELLY ALLEN Case Type: Missing DOB: Dec 4, 1986 Sex: Female Missing Date: Mar 13, 2007 Missing City: BERKLEY Missing State : MO Missing Country: United States Race: Black Age Now: 23 Height: 5'4" (163 cm) Weight: 165 lbs (75 kg) Hair Color: Brown Eye Color: Hazel Circumstances: Kelly was last seen leaving a friend's home in Berkley, Missouri, on March 13, 2007, but she resides in Saint Louis, Missouri. She has a tattoo of brown eyes and a flower on her left shoulder and a o of a half moon behind her left ear.
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BRANSON PERRY Case Type: Missing DOB: Feb 24, 1981 Sex: Male Missing Date: Apr 11, 2001 Race: White Age Now: 28 Height: 5'10" (178 cm) Weight: 140 lbs (64 kg) Missing City: SKIDMORE Missing State : MO Missing Country: United States Hair Color: Blonde Eye Color: Blue Case Number: NCMA1078495 Circumstances: Branson was last seen on April 11, 2001. He has a scar on his upper right check and on his left knee.
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PARENTING
Gaétane is President of Peas In Their Pods, and also a cer the inner- city youth and their parents. She is an advoca achieve healthy, harmonious, and emotionally stable env media consultant, and is often featured in print, radio, an
Happy Exceptional Children’s Week everyone! This week, awareness as a means of educating the public about childre cial education. Much of the work that I do involves identifying reasons for w expected. I always feel privileged to help families unlock underlying issues. fact that their child has a disability is very difficult.
On learning that their child may have a disability, many often parents react i happening to me, to my child, to our family.” Anger, is another emotion tha that their child may have an underlying condition. I believe that much of thi they learn? Are they normal? What quality of life will my child have? Is ther
One of the childhood diagnoses that has been widely talked about is autism. opmental disability that typically appears during the first three years of lif tioning of the brain, impacting development in the areas of social interactio cally show difficulties in verbal and non-verbal communication, social inte what causes autism. We have heard the debate played out in the news… Is a Researchers continue to attempt to figure this out. However, reportedly the tal disability.
In honor of Exceptional Children’s Week, I would like to remind parents tha ple…many who you might idolize…are very famous and successful? For exam Runner and Kill Bill was reportedly diagnosed as a child as being ”borderlin autistic.
Early intervention is key! So if you if you suspect that your child’s developm skills….please seek the guidance of a professional. Oftentimes you will be re of parents, School Psychologists…Pediatricians…and Developmental Special 14 able difference. For more information about autism, please visit the Autism Society!
G CORNER
rtified School Psychologist who works closely with ate of children’s rights and strives to help parent vironments for their children. She is a sought after nd television.
many school systems around the country are spreading en with disabilities, as well as to garner support for spewhy children may not be performing as well as might be However, for many parents, coming to terms with the
in similar ways. One of the first reactions is that of denial -- "This cannot be at I’ve witnessed. Sometimes it is directed at me…the one who first indicates is is fueled by fear. Fear of the unknown…like will my child be okay? Can re something wrong with me?
It is defined by the Autism Society Of America (ASA) as: "a complex develfe, and is the result of a neurological disorder that affects the normal funcon and communication skills. Both children and adults with autism typieractions, and leisure or play activities. There is a lot of debate regarding autism genetic….or the result of medical intervention or the environment? e rate is 1 in 110 births, and is (reportedly) the fastest growing developmen-
at a disability does not have to be limiting. Did you know that many peomple, Daryl Hannah, the actress best known for her roles in Splash, Blade ne autistic.” Also, Satoshi Tajiri, who created of PokeMon, is also reportedly
ment is not progressing as expected, or if you are seeing a regression in eassured that nothing is out of the norm. However, for a smaller percentage lists may provide the needed recommendations that could make a consider15
CHERIE NICOLE BARNES Age Progression (bottom)
Case Type: Non Family Abduction DOB: Jul 30, 1984 Sex: Female Missing Date: Jan 7, 1987 Missing City: SAINT LOUIS Missing State : MO Missing Country: United States Race: Biracial Age Now: 25 Height: 4'0" (122 cm) Weight: 80 lbs (36 kg) Hair Color: Brown Eye Color: Brown Case Number: NCMC791396 Circumstances: Cherie's photo is shown a ge-progressed to 20 years. She was last known to be with her mother, who was eventually found deceased. She is Biracial and is considered to be Black and White.
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CHRISTIAN FERGUSON Age Progression (bottom)
Case Type: Non Family Abduction DOB: Oct 9, 1993 Sex: Male Missing Date: Jun 11, 2003 Race: Black Age Now: 16 Height: 4'0" (122 cm) Weight: 75 lbs (34 kg) Hair Color: Black Eye Color: Brown Missing City: SAINT LOUIS Missing State : MO Missing Country: United States Case Number: NCMC964942
Circumstances: Both of the photos shown are of the child. Christian was age-progressed to 13 years. He was in a relative's vehicle at approximately 6:30 a.m. on June 11, 2003 when it was stolen. The vehicle has since been recovered but the child's whereabouts remain unknown. The child has a medical condition which requires daily medication that is not with him. He was last seen wearing only a diaper and was wrapped in a multicolored blanket.
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What is the Raising him Alone Campaign - A learning community designed t boys.
We offer an interactive website, a parent workbook focusing on practical par
Who is the Raising Him Alone Campaign - The Campaign was formed stitute), and Matthew Stevens (RASP Educational Consultants).
These organizations are located in Baltimore MD, and Newark, NJ respectiv cialize in working with African American male children.
How is Raising Alone funded - A grant provided by the Open Society In the project. The goal is to improving the performance of Black boys by conce mothers, due to the fact that a majority of the Black youth in America are res
What has Raising Him One Campaign accomplished - Founded in Ja institutions of higher learning. These forums were followed by smaller comm To date the RHA Campaign has conducted forums in 20 cities and serviced a
What's Next - The RHA Campaign looks forward to expanding the FACE B four major cities 9Chicago, Philadelphia, Washington DC and Brooklyn New MD.
How can a City, church or school district start a RHA Learning Community 18 www.raisinghimalone.com or joining us on FACEBOOK (Single Mothers Ra
to increase access to information and resources for single mothers raising
renting strategies, and a growing FACE BOOK presence.
d by two Organizations headed by David Miller (The Urban Leadership In-
vely. Both organizations are experts in urban family development and spe-
nstituter's Campaign For Black Male Achievement, was awarded to initiate entrating on the needs and concerns of the parents (particularly single siding homes headed by women.
anuary 2009 it hosted two "Kick Off" forums in the host cities at two major munity based activities hosted in schools, churches and block associations. approximately 5000 families.
BOOK Community to 10,000 members, starting learning communities in w York. This is in addition to the communities in Newark and Baltimore
- Contact us at info@raisinghimalone.com, visit our website at 19 aising Boys Group.
BRANDON DANTE RAPHELLE RALLS Age Progression (bottom)
Case Type: Lost, Injured, Missing DOB: Mar 25, 1985 Sex: Male Missing Date: Nov 5, 2001 Race: Black Age Now: 24 Height: 5'6" (168 cm) Weight: 130 lbs (59 kg) Hair Color: Brown Eye Color: Brown Missing City: KANSAS CITY Missing State : MO Missing Country: United States Case Number: NCMC928178 Circumstances: Brandon's photo is shown age-progressed to 18 years. He has three gold teeth in the upper front part of his mouth. Brandon's nickname is "Little B."
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CHARLES ARLIN LEON HENDERSON Age Progression
Case Type: Non Family Abduction DOB: Mar 16, 1980 Sex: Male Missing Date: Jul 25, 1991 Race: White Age Now: 29 Height: 4'5" (135 cm) Weight: 75 lbs (34 kg) Hair Color: Blonde Eye Color: Blue Missing City: MOSCOW MILLS Missing State : MO Missing Country: United States Case Number: NCMC756985 Circumstances: Charles' photo is shown age-progressed to 27 years. He was last seen at about 5 p.m. as he was riding his bike near home. He is considered at risk since he is missing under suspicious circumstances. He was last seen wearing a camouflage T-shirt, camouflage pants, gray socks and black tennis shoes. He was riding a white and yellow bike. He was last known to have a crew cut.
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Greetings friends! Well March is here and you know what that means. It's time for SPRING!! I think this is my favorite time of year. Things are all fresh and new. We've survived all the winter weather, the holidays, the food, and the family and friend gatherings. Now it's time to start fresh again. Let's use this time to meditate on positive things, set goals for ourselves, and make a change in our lives for the better. Keep your hearts open so that God can use you in a tremendous way this year. There are many people watching you, some good and some bad. Some hungry for love, some waiting to see you fall. Just remember to keep your eyes on the Lord and allow Him to direct your paths. If each one of us touches one person's life this year in a miraculous way, this will be a year to remember for so many people! Don't limit your love to ONE...but make it your business to do something really spectacular for at least one. It's Spring!! Refresh, renew, rejoice!!
SHRIMP & AVOCADO SALAD 24 large prawns/shrimp 2 avocados, sliced 2 tablespoons chopped chives 6 leaves of Boston or butter lettuce
Dressing 1 cup of mayonnaise or salad dressing (Miracle Whip or Hellman’s) 2 tablespoons lemon juice 1/2 tsp. red pepper flakes 1 clove of minced garlic Peel and devein shrimp, leaving on tail shell. Cook. Cool and refrigerate. Make Dressing by mixing all of the ingredients together. To serve, place one leaf of lettuce on each plate. Place the shrimp on plate and place one slice of avocado between each shrimp. Drizzle with dressing and sprinkle with chopped chives.
"Southern Hospitality" www.goodcookin4u2.web.com 22
SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY - Sharon Fox BUTTERED RUM POUND CAKES 1/2 cup unsalted butter, room temperature 1 cup granulated sugar 2 eggs 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 1 vanilla bean 1-1/2 cups flour 1/2 teaspoon baking powder 1/4 teaspoon baking soda 1/4 teaspoon salt 1/2 cup buttermilk, room temperature
Glaze 1/2 cup granulated sugar 1/4 cup butter 1-1/2 tablespoons water pinch of salt 2 tablespoons dark rum Preheat oven to 350 F. Butter and flour muffin tin. Cream butter in bowl of mixer. Slowly add sugar and beat for two minutes. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition of egg. Add vanilla extract. Split vanilla bean and scrape inside into batter. Reserve vanilla bean pod. Beat for approximately two more minutes, until batter is fluffy and creamy. Sift together flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. At low speed, add flour mixture alternately with buttermilk, ending with flour mixture. Pour batter into prepared pan, and bake for 30 - 35 minutes, or until golden and cake tester comes out clean. Remove pan to cooling rack set over baking sheet for 5 minutes. Remove cakes from pan to cooling rack. Poke several holes in each cake with thin skewer/ cake tester. Pour glaze slowly over cakes until23cakes absorb glaze and glaze is used up. Serve when completely cooled.
Harvard University Harvard University announced over the weekend that from now on undergraduate students from low-income families will pay no tuition. In making the announcement, Harvard's president Lawrence H. Summers said, "When only ten percent of the students in elite higher education come from families in the lower half of the income distribution, we are not doing enough. We are not doing enough in bringing elite higher education to the lower half of the income distribution." If you know of a family earning less than $60,000 a year with an honor student graduating from high school soon, Harvard University wants to pay the tuition. The prestigious university recently announced that from now on undergraduate students from low-income families can go to Harvard for free... no tuition and no student loans! To find out more about Harvard offering free tuition for families making less than $60,000 a year, visit Harvard's financial aid website at: http://www.fao.fas.harvard.edu/ or call the school's financial aid office at (617) 4951581. 24
Rilya Alert Criteria •
The abduction is of a child age 17 years or younger
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The parent must have contacted law enforcement to report child missing.
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A RILYA Alert may also be issued if the child is classified as a runaway by the police. If the parent has reported missing child and has convincing evidence that child does not have a history of running away, an alert will be initiated within the 1st hour. We recognize that at times, not all information is readily available (ie. license plate numbers, name of abductor, or witness to abduction. In such cases, the available information will be reviewed and verified prior to RILYA Alert.
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The law-enforcement agency believes the child is in imminent danger of serious bodily injury or death.
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All children of color meeting the criteria for the Amber Alert will also receive the RILYA Alert If these criteria are met, alert information is assembled for public distribution. This information may include descriptions and pictures of the missing child, the suspected abductor, and a suspected vehicle along with any other information available and valuable to identifying the child and suspect. *The staff at Peas In Their Pods respectfully requests that once a child is found that any organization posting information remove their pictures from their sites.
http://www.peasintheirpods.com (516) 338-6873/25(515) 554-5096 hfmbc@hotmail.com
GINA DAWN BROOKS Age Progression (bottom)
Case Type: Non Family Abduction DOB: Nov 28, 1975 Sex: Female Missing Date: Aug 5, 1989 Race: White Age Now: 34 Height: 5'0" (152 cm) Weight: 108 lbs (49 kg) Hair Color: Blonde Eye Color: Green Missing City: FREDERICKTOWN Missing State : MO Missing Country: United States Case Number: NCMC727561 Circumstances: Gina's photo is shown age-progressed to 33 years. She was last seen riding a bicycle at about 10:00 p.m. The bike was later found abandoned on High Street. A light blue, gray, or green station wagon was seen at the same time as a witness heard a scream in the neighborhood and the sound of a car driving off. Gina has small white scars on her left shin.
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SHEMIKA KEYANTA COSEY Case Type: Endangered DOB: Oct 1, 1992 Sex: Female Missing Date: Dec 30, 2008 Race: Black Age Now: 17 Height: 5'5" (165 cm) Weight: 160 lbs (73 kg) Hair Color: Black Eye Color: Brown Missing City: BERKELEY Missing State : MO Missing Country: United States Case Number: NCMC1113314 Circumstances: Shemika is believed to be in the local area. Her ears are pierced. Shemika may go by the nickname Mika.
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Keeping Our Kids Safe… A Guideline fo By Pattie Fitzgerald, Safely Ev
Your kids know all about personal safety because you’ve had that conversation with t Sorry, parents… but this is one conversation that you absolutely must have with your In fact, personal safety should be a familiar topic of discussion that you start when yo and even teens. Why?
Reason #1: Because kids need to hear this stuff more than once to let it really sink in. Like anyt good strong reminders about appropriate behavior in others as they mature, gain mo quently on their own without being under our watchful eye.
Reason #2: Because statistically, kids between the ages of 9 and 12 years old are the most vulner in the world on their own for the first time, whether it’s at the mall, at a sports activit them with good prevention education and support, letting them know that we’re still
Think about it. Our younger children get lots of attention from their caregivers. We’re involved in th Our little ones are usually supervised more closely than the older kids. And then… th about the world around them and that the kids know all about this stuff by now.
A Big Mistake Time and time again parents mistakenly think that once their children reach the age reach middle school, parents are ready to take a “breather”, confident that those ‘twe
The Opposite is True Did you know that our ‘tweens are more easily tricked and manipulated by a moleste to disclose about sexual abuse or even talk about “red flag feelings” they may have ab next door neighbor’s weird touch, that they won’t be believed or that somehow they a things quiet, for fear that you’ll take away some of their hard-earned freedom and sta it.
Keep The Dialog Going Start the “safety talk” early, and keep it going as they grow. Introduce concepts such 28 can always talk to you about someone’s inappropriate behavior. And most importan comfortable or improper manner.
or Children at Every Age ver After, Inc
them way back when they first started school, right? r children more than once in order for it to mean anything. our kids are young and continue as they become ‘tweens
thing else, kids learn by repetition. They especially need ore independence, and interact with other adults more fre-
rable when it comes to sexual abuse and abduction. That’s when they’re often out ty, or even riding bikes around the neighborhood. And we owe it to them… to arm l here for them no matter what.
heir daily activities more -- whether it’s school, after school activities, playdates, etc. hey get a little older, and parents step back, assuming they’ve educated the kids
e of 10 or 11, that they know what is “safe or unsafe”. All too often, once children eens are full of street smarts and can take care of themselves.
er’s grooming techniques? That’s right. Kids in the ‘tween ages are also less likely bout another person. They’re afraid if they tell you about the soccer coach or the are responsible in some way for that other person’s harmful acts. They also keep art restricting their daily activities. And molesters know this… in fact they count on
h as good touch/bad touch/confusing touch and let your kids know that they ntly, let them know that it is never their fault29 if someone touches them in any un-
Safely Ever After Inc… Age Appropriate Safety Guidelines Safety Guideline
“Boss of My Body” Physical ‘ownership’ of your body
3-5 years old I’m the Boss of my Body. Correct names for body parts Difference between “safe” and “unsafe” touches. Understanding the concept of “No-Go-Tell”
You have the NO to any un is, even to an
It’s not your part of your receive phys
You should not help anyone who asks you to find a lost pet, give them directions, or carry packages to their home or car without Mom/Dad/caretaker present
Before assist in charge of answer is NO helping with one out in th
Safe Grownups Don’t Ask Kids for Help when you’re by yourself – they’re supposed to ask OTHER grownups
You should n unless your p
Candy, Gifts, Treats
Say no to anyone who wants to give you candy, gifts, or treats unless your parent is with you or says it okay first
It’s not okay change for k
Trusting Instinct… their inner voice a.k.a. “the uh-oh feeling”
Listen to your inner voice or that feel- Get away qu ing you get in your tummy when some- weird, yucky thing feels wrong or “yucky” You don’t ha Tell mom or dad about any you that “uhuh-oh feeling you have, no matter when it happens.
Secrets
No secrets from Mom or Dad
The “Helping” Rule
Safe grownups don’t tell kids to keep 30 from their parents. There is a secrets difference between a “secret” and a “surprise”
You won’t ge about any kin keep. Tell M a “yucky” se Safe adults d parents
A Guideline for Parents Please check out the Safely Ever After Age-Appropriate Chart to see what kids should know about personal safety at every age.
6-10 years old
11 years old and older
e right to say It’s ok to say STOP to anyone’s touches, anywhere ncomfortable touches, no matter who it on your body n adult or older kid Affection between adults and children does not infault if someone tries to touch a private clude touching or kissing private parts, undressing body. You have the right to express or together, or sharing bodies in a “yucky” or uncomsical affection on the your terms fortable manner
ting anyone, check first with the adult your safety. If you can’t check first, the O. Understand the difference between h chores in the home vs. helping somehe world when you’re on your own
Be wary of people who ask you for help when you’re alone or with your friends in public places. Employ the “check first” rule whenever possible. Do not be tricked by offers of money or gifts in exchange for assistance
not enter someone’s home to help them parents say it’s OK
y for someone to offer you a treat in ex- Tell your parents about anyone who wants to give keeping a secret you an expensive gift or treat without their knowledge Bribing a child with the promise of a gift or treat is wrong, and may even be illegal. It’s not your fault, and it’s important to tell right away.
uickly from anyone who makes you feel Pay attention to your own feelings, especially if y, or uncomfortable. someone tries to get you to do something you know is wrong or makes you feel badly. ave to be polite to anyone who gives -oh” feeling Your own inner alarm is your best safety system.
et in trouble for telling your parents nd of secret that an adult has told you to Mom or Dad right away, don’t hold on to ecret, especially one about your body. don’t tell kids to keep secrets from their
Tell your parents right away about any secret that involves your body or someone else’s 31 your fault if someone touches you inapproIt’s not priately. You should never keep this kind of secret.
Safety Guideline
Out and about
3-5 years old
If lost, Freeze & Yell or ask a Mom with If lost, ask a mom son for help Kids for help Never go outside to the parking lot to look for your parents Know your address and your parents’ cell phone number
Do not wander aro your parents. Do someone you don’ Do not use shortcu miliar areas.
Check First
Always ask your mom, dad, or caretaker You must have pe before you go anywhere or take anyentering someone’ thing even from someone you know neighbor or someo have permission f If you’re finished playing in one area and want to do something else, check *For kids 9 years first
Tricky People
Replace the stranger-danger concept A tricky person ca know, or know jus with “tricky people” It’s not what someone looks like, it’s what they want you to do. Be able to recogn and behaviors… b Tricky people may ask kids to do “thumbs down” things.
Getting help
Always tell your mom or dad if you feel Tell your parents a scared, uncomfortable, or have an “uh- yucky or touched oh” feeling about someone you can’t tell your
If you are afraid to tell your parents, tell Keep telling a gro a teacher
Pattie Fitzgerald is the founder of Safely Ever After, Inc. and is recognized as a l certified as a Child Safety Educator and Child Visitation Monitor, and has been teacher, Pattie blends her expertise as an educator and, more importantly as a M strategies WITHOUT using fear tactics. 32 For more information visit: www.safelyeverafter.com
6-10 years old
m with kids or the cash register per-
11 years old and older Don’t be tricked into getting into a car with someone you don’t know because they seem nice or offer you something enticing, like payment for doing work.
ound or leave the area to search for not enter restrooms alone or with If you want to change your plans, go somewhere ’t know else, or enter a car even with an adult you know, call uts through alleys or play in unfa- and check in first with your parents to let them know. If you can’t check first, the answer is no.
ermission before getting into a car or Always let your parents know where you’re going, ’s home. Check first… even if it’s a when you’ll be back. one that you know. If you don’t first, don’t do it. If you are changing plans, let your parents know first. old & up, use a family code word
an be someone you know, don’t st a little bit.
You don’t have to be polite to anyone or tries to trick you into doing something that feels bad
nize a tricky person by their actions by what they say or want you to do
Be alert for tricks that sound “too good to be true”
about anyone who’s made you feel you in an uncomfortable way. If r parents, tell a teacher.
Tell a parent, a teacher, a guidance counselor or other trusted adult if you need help.
ownup until you get help.
If you’re not comfortable talking to a parent, consider other safe grownups who will help you, like a friend’s mom. Keep telling until you get help.
leading expert in the field of childhood sexual abuse prevention education. She is working in the field of child advocacy for over ten years. As a former preschool MOM, to teach parents and kids every where the most effective, up-to-date safety 33
Monthly Tasty Treat - by Pat Holmes Key Lime Bars Crust: 10 oz. animal crackers 6 Tablespoons packed brown sugar Pinch of table salt 8 Tablespoons unsalted butter, melted and cooled slightly Filling: 4 oz. cream cheese, room temperature 2 Tablespoon grated lime zest, minced Pinch table salt 2 can (14ox) sweetened condensed milk 2 large egg yolk 1 Cup Key lime juice ( Not used bottled juice) Preheat oven 325 Line pan with foil 10 x 9 Crust: In food processer, pulse animals crackers, pulsing until crmbs are evenly fine makes about 2 ½ cups of crumbs. Add brown sugar and salt and pulse 10-12 times. Drizzle butter over crumbs and pulse until crumbs are evenly moistened with butter. Press crumbs evenly and firmly into bottom of pan. Bake until golden brown, 18-10 minutes. Cool on rack while making filling. Filling: In a medium bowl, stir cream cheese, zest and salt until softened, creamy and thoroughly combines. Add sweeten condensed milk and incorporate until no lumps remain mix in egg yolks. Add lime juice until incorporated. Pour filling into crust and spread to corners and smooth surface with rubber spatula. Back 15 to 20 minutes until it is set and edges begin to pull 34 away slightly from sides.
ST. LOUIS JANE DOE UNIDENTIFIED Case Type: Unidentified DOB: Jan 1, 1972 Sex: Female Missing Date: Feb 28, 1983 Race: Black Age Now: 38 Height: 4'10" (147 cm) Missing City: ST. LOUIS Weight: 70 lbs (32 kg) Missing State : MO Hair Color: Unknown Missing Country: United States Eye Color: Unknown Case Number: NCMU400034 Circumstances: On February 28, 1983, the headless remains of an African American female were discovered by the St. Louis Police Department. The body had no scars, deformities or irregularities. There was no specific features that would give clues as to her identity. She was approximately between 8 and 11 years of age, so her estimated year of birth would be 1972-75. Her estimated height is 4'10" and her estimated weight is 70 lbs. Her eye and hair color couldn't be determined 35
Peas In Their Pods
Thank You..! 36