Girl by Paavai Shri Radhakrisnan

Girl

GIRL By

Paavai Shri Radhakrishnan

Girl

The Skeleton of material of the book paves the way of progress in life. Though the book is punny in size; it musters lofty ideas and ideals in an individual. The manner of giving matter is impressive and the book will enthrall readers who want to achieve in life. It educates the mind and edifies the soul. -Dr.Ramagurunathan

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â&#x20AC;&#x153;Dear reader, thanks for giving me hope by choosing my first bookâ&#x20AC;?

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Acknowledgement *Just hang on a minute here, in case you are thinking this is just my book. *No creation in this world is a solo effort, neither is this book. From the person who makes Xerox copies of the draft to the delivery boy who makes the book reach shops, everyone has a role. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d like to thank few in particular: *My readers, you that is, have made me what I am. Do continue with your support, and if possible give a tiny but permanent place in your heart. *God, for his love, care, blessings. *ANNIE SMYRNA, my soul mate, a best friend of mine and also the first reader of my book, she is the one who tells me what works and what doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t, not only in the book, but also in my life. She is the only person with whom I share everything. *Vishnu Pryan, my cute little brother who encouraged me with full of his support. *My family who always spare for me the valuable advice. *And to say particularly, it is only you who has picked my book, I assure that this will give a great change in your life ahead.

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Introduction It has been a long-awaited and much-cherished dream of mine to present this book before all my well-wishers and friends. Before stepping inside the book I would like to say about 3 types of people in the world. 1. Who watch things happen 2. Who criticize things happening 3. Who make things happen This book is for the first 2 categories to make things happen. At this book, I do not teach you anything. It is just an interrogation to our heart to find the answer.

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Dedicated to All the GIRLS All the BROTHERS who doubt their SISTERS All the MOTHERS who believes the society

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Girl Do you know the abbreviations of this word? These are two different meaning for which girl stands for: 1. is G-ghost I-in R-real L-life 2. Is G-growing I-independent R-respected L-leaders Or else you may check the abbreviations in internet too. Now I hope you can understand a little on what I am coming to say. It is that “everything has a positive and a negative.” But taking the right way and moving with that makes our life success. Why do I want to say this with the word girl? Because this book travels till the end about girl. I’m here to say about the girl, her life, her problems, blah blah blah…..

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By starting from basicWhat is Girl-? While to say in simpler form without using biological terms, a girl is a FEMALE HUMAN from birth through childhood and adolescence to attainment of adulthood when she becomes a woman. If you are a girl then for damn sure you might have come across several problems like Period Pains  The misconception that we turn into irrational monsters every time we have period  The pregnancy scare  The time it takes for the nail varnish to dry  The state of our lipstick after a smooch  Wearing heels  When having many to wear but hard to choose  Matching our dresses with slippers, accessories and everything  All time proposals  Restriction for dresses  Not allowed out after 6:00 PM and sometimes even with someone  Parent or someone checks our gadgets frequently  A call from boy then whole family will doubt you  Makeup problems  Not allowed to post something on the social networks  All doubts our friends and their characters The list does not end but I have set my book only for certain pages if I continue to say the list, then one book will not be enough.

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Mostly here in India we tend to face few problems likeSelective abortion and female infanticide, Dowry and Bride burning, Domestic violence, Disparity in education, Child marriage, Inadequate Nutrition, Sexual harassment, Domestic violence and Status in the family, Status of widows, Military Service and more… I like to highlight few points about sexual harassmentAmong the worst countries in crime, India has an abhorrent track record in all forms of sexual exploitation. In home, on streets, in public transports, at offices, even on vacations. No place is safe. And the most terrible fall out of this is the lack of self-worth and feelings of degradation following the emotional and physical trauma that constant harassment creates. Such is the recurrence of these incidents, that DELHI has earned the ignorable nick name as RAPE CITY. While most cases go unreported as it is considered an act that puts one to shame, only 20% of the registered cases for sexual harassment reach actual conviction. It’s about a 10 year old girl. She is walking home from the grocery store one sunny afternoon. Suddenly, a truck races up. Two men jump out and grab her. Drag her into a nearby field and they tie her up and rip her clothes from her body. Now they climb on. First one then the other, Raping her. Shattering everything innocent and pure with a vicious thrust in a fog of drunken breath and sweat. When they are done, after they have killed her tiny womb, murdered any chance of her to bear any children, to have life beyond her own. They decide to use her for a target practice. So they started throwing full beer cans at her. They throw them so hard that it tears the flesh all the way to her bones. Then they urinate on her… Now comes the hanging. They have a rope, they tie a noose. Imagine a noose coiling tight around her neck and a sudden blinding jerk…

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She is pulled into the air and her feet and legs go kicking and they don’t find the ground. It snaps and she falls back to the earth. So they pick her up, throw her back of the truck, drive out to a nearby bridge, pitch her over the edge and she drops some 30 feet down to the creek bottom below. Can you see her? Her raped. Beaten. Broken body. Soaked in the urine, Soaked in their semen, Soaked in her blood. Left to die. Why ruin a child’s life just for your own satisfaction. Her life might have been worth lots more. Now it’s worth nothing because even if she survives, she will never be able to look at the world in the same manner again. Stop being so desperate. In every 10 rape cases 6 are minor girls. Every 7 minutes a crime is committed against women. Every 26 minutes a woman is molested. Every 34 minutes a rape takes place. Every 42 minutes a sexual harassment incident occurs Every 43 minutes a woman is kidnapped. Every 93 minutes a woman is burnt to death over dowry. A shameful Plight. * * An 18-year-old Martial Art Expert girl from Bengal beats up 3 Men who tried to Sexually Assault her. Meet Priyanka Singha Roy!

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Few days back, she was on her way back home after shopping in a cycle with her younger sister. Suddenly, 3 men started to accost her. Now, imagine an 18 year old girl with younger sister being sexually assaulted by 3 grown up men, what would she do? Rather, what should she do? Shout? Call Police? Well, that’s not what the badass Priyanka did. She took matters in her own hand and started beating those 3 men ruthlessly with her Martial art. They were so badly bashed that people had to intervene. Now, isn’t this something that cheers you up. A little Indian Girl kicking the shit out of 3 grown up. * Being a boy is ok! Being a girl is ok! But being a Transgender? We don’t think about them! Why so! We hesitate to even just think but have you ever realized how hard it would be for them being a Transgender to the society? They are happy with what they are, but the society? Transgender says- Don’t get me wrong, my transition was wonderful and hard, and necessary, but life is more than just gender transition. Here are some possibilities of why you might still be sad after transition: 1. If your Family, friends or colleagues don’t accept you and respect you. 2. If life is hard because of discrimination or prejudice. 3. If you don’t really accept yourself or feel good about yourself. 4. Learning strategies to overcome chronic fear. When fear has become an ingrained response, it can trigger feelings and difficulties that look like anxiety or depression. 15

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5. Because it takes time to recover from the ordeal called gender transition. 6. Get advice from an endocrinologist who is experienced in Transgender case. Increasing your estrogen dose or discontinuing anti-androgen medication, may both be options that help with how you feel. Good hormone support has side effects and may no longer be necessary in your HRT regimen. However, the most likely reason is that life brings sadness and distress of its own, completely unrelated to gender transition. For all that gender euphoria can be wonderful to focus on, and delight in aspects of your new life, it doesn’t solve everything. Sometimes it’s the broader view of leading a fulfilling life that brings answers, especially once we’ve done everything to sort out the living night mare that gender dysphoria can be.

Now let’s meet someone Interesting. Gauri Sawant, a transgender activist. She lost her mother at the age of 5. And when puberty hit her, she realized. The body she was born to, doesn’t belong to her. Society told her that she is not a woman; but she became a mother. They told her that she has no rights of her own, that she does not exist in the eyes of the law; yet, she took in an orphaned girl to protect her right to a happy childhood, so that another little girl doesn’t get trafficked and disappear into oblivion. Against all odds, she adopted Gayathri, Now, Gayathri studies in well-known school and lives in a good hostel. But that’s not the only thing she has done. For 16 years, she fought for the rights of the five lakh behind the Supreme Court judgment that recognized transgender to file a petition with the Supreme Court for transgender rights of marriage and adoption. She is also trying to appoint transgender as security persons 16

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outside the gate of Siddhivinayak temple. She is also planning to make home for children of sex workers to make their childhood normal, to secure their future. She is not in army, she’s not politician nor even a police officer. And definitely not a freedom fighter. Just a normal human being, bit different from us. She has courage to fight for her own and other people’s rights. She has heart who feels for the girls like Gayathri. Truly a hero, of her own kind. Don’t label a mother as a women; a gender can’t decide motherhood. “We need to say, with one voice, that transgender people are valued, they are loved, they are us, they desire to be treated fairly and equally”.

Girl and Proposal by boys This heading is a trend nowadays. Proposing a girl has become like a day bath or a snack that you eat while boring or when you have a little hunger. Are they the right person? They are just the mad who has time pass in proposing. Whether the girl accepts or not he will be proud in saying “I proposed her” By a girls appearance you can’t judge her. Now coming upon girls love. What is Love? “Love means a much esteemed” Nowadays in this world, people have many different meaning for love. When a girl is in love it doesn’t mean that it is with a boy, it can be with her mother, father, brother, sister, anyone.

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A girl often thinks about her family, people, everything. When a girl is in love with a boy, she cares him she advices him she makes the way to go for triumph.

Girl is a power. A girl and a boy can be best friends till the end without any idiotic feel. This world will ignore you if your friend is a boy. They will perceive you as if you are a terrorist. Why is it wrong? There is nothing wrong to be a friend with the opposite gender. First the big fault is with the one who saw them bad. When you stop thinking bad on others automatically their good and positives will reach you. Now we are in the developing country. So, Stop thinking and having a bad eye on good friendship. Do you people know that when you start to enquire their friendship and them without saying each other they start avoiding themselves? I agree that there are many problems nowadays arriving for a girl. But those are by some fellows and idiots. Not all the boys are bad with their character. I have many friends in opposite gender (boy) and they are very close to me. We are very close to each other, they call me, tease me, care me, they do everything for me; Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve done all sort of naughty things with them. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve enjoyed a lot with them so why to doubt them? Will you say your dad as bad as he is a boy? 18

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Will you say your brother as bad as he is a boy? No, we won’t at all look at them as if they are bad. Then why to see others alone as they are bad? Boys are the guardians and the great power of girl. When they like someone they just give even their heart to feel their beat. IF YOU ARE A PERSON WHO IGNORES ALL THE MEN AND BOYS THEN PLEASE SAY THE SOLUTION BY WHICH THEY HAVE TO PROVE THAT THEY ARE NOT A SORT OF CHARACTER WHAT YOU THOUGHT. A girl will be a pet of her father. Her father will be her first role model. Even when she likes her mother, the father holds the 1st place. How much ever the girl shares her problems with her father, he does not even hold the doubt on her daughter. Every father believes a lot in their daughters than their sons. A girl will find her own prince one day but her father will be the king for her all time. Father has a vital role in daughter’s birth till their settlement of life. Girl’s first lover will be her father. The biggest day of any father’s life is the day when his daughter is getting married or to see her in the wedding dress. Last night I was attending my friend’s sister marriage. After reaching the procession to the wedding place everyone was waiting for the bride to come. I, my friend, his father and some of the relatives were waiting outside the bride’s room. The moment she came out of her room and started walking down the aisle, tears started rolling out of her father’s eyes. I could literally see both the tears and happiness on her father’s face. 19

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They both hugged each other. At that moment her father could not speak. He said, “Beta, hamesha khush rehne”(Always be happy my child!). That moment made me realize that parents love is totally unconditional. There will be a time in your life when you feel so low, disappointed, devastated and at that moment you will need someone to support you, love you, pamper you but there will be no one to support you and then when you turn around, you will always find your parents there to support you regardless of the situation. And, it made me emotionally smile. This book is not based on a story; it deals with all real facts… A girl has several dreams in her life to happen. I don’t say everything ought to be happened but still she has some lovable wishes to do or to be happened with her husband/lover. * A girl is a calm, polite, loving, caring, beautiful character. She knows the limit to speak with everyone. All they need is someone to hold their hand and ask about her problems when she is sad. If so, someone is there, then she will be free of mind in sharing with that particular person whom she believes. When a girl is in bad mood or sad position, if you go and ask about her problems and causes she will believe you for damn sure. She will be so close with you. At every bad time she will wish you to be near her. Give a girl a diary and ask her to write whatever she thinks/wishes. For sure she will write about her problems for the whole diary and ask you for one more, because it is not enough for her to describe the whole life and issues she face in just a single diary. But at the same time we don’t have rights to blame only boys and men. Not every boy is bad, only very few. 20

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They know how to respect girls, how to love girls, how to care girls. When a boy likes someone same as girls he cares for it a lot. We say boys and girls are equal but, do we see like that? No, because from childhood we were brought up like when you see a girl, bow your head (it is still practiced in few schools),you should not speak with girl/boy, etc., etc.,. Now as we are in a developing country and generation, we are better in gender concession. The society has given 33% of reserved jobs for women in government as a government employee. We have women in every sector from auto drivers till owner of a multi-national company. Girl is a power not **** to use. Girls are equal to that of boys. Girls have all the right in this society. If you are a girl and reading this book then for damn sure you will come to know what and who you are. Your life is short, enjoy to the maximum, don’t hate others, share everything, love all.

This is one of the best article I’ve ever read about woman… WOMAN… When God created woman he was working late on the 6th day……. An angel came by and asked. ”why spend so much time on her?” The lord answered. ”have you seen all the specifications I have to meet to shape her?” She must function on all kinds of situations, She must be able to embrace several kids at the same time, 21

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Have a hug that can heal anything from a bruised knee to a broken heart, She must do all this with only two hands, “She cures herself when sick and can work 18 hours a day” THE ANGEL was impressed” Just two hands………impossible! And this is the standard model?” The Angel came closer and touched the woman” “But you have made her so soft, lord”. “She is soft”, said the lord, “But I have made her strong. You can’t imagine what she can endure and overcome” “Can she think?” the angel asked…. The lord answered.” Not only can she think, she can reason and negotiate” The angel touched her cheeks…. “Lord, it seems this creation is leaking! You have put too many burdens on her” “She is not leaking…it is a tear” the lord corrected the angel… “What’s it for?” asked the angel…… The lord said.” tears are her way of expressing her grief, her doubts, her love, her loneliness, her suffering and her pride.”……. This made a big impression on the angel, “Lord, you are a genius. You thought of everything. A woman is indeed marvelous” Lord said. ”indeed she is.

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She has strength that amazes a man. She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens. She holds happiness, love and opinions. She smiles when she feels like screaming. She sings when she feels like crying, cries when happy and laughs when afraid. She fights for what she believes in. Her love is unconditional. Her heart is broken when a next-of-kin or a friend dies but she finds strength to get on with life” The angel asked: so she is a perfect being? The lord replied: no. she has just one drawback “she often forgets what she is worth”. * PERIODS!!! Yes. Periods are disgusting. So is sex, Reproduction Methods, Child Brith and Your Existence. I am on my periods right no. Not only am I losing Blood, but also my Mind. I usually get by 6:30. Try to go for a walk, and sit to study. Help my Mother prepare breakfast, get ready for college and leave. I travel by local trains at peak hours. I reach my college and spend a uncomfortable 7 hours trying to attend lectures, submit journals and perform practical. Then I come back home, change and help mom prepare dinner. 23

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Work on my project till late night like 2 in the morning. This is my usual schedule. Whether I am as I am not on my periods. I get tired, feel lazy, dizzy, want to lay down and rest. But I don’t just lose a lot of blood, I have to take care that it doesn’t stain anywhere. I can never tell if now my stomach is going to ache or my back or my tooth, and I have no pain killer for this. I know I am the mercy of the Lord of relief. Still, my work quality is not affected even a bit. Whatever I do is with 100% dedication. I may be feeling as if the next atomic explosion is about to take in my stomach, but I will still give that damn presentation with utmost confidence. Still walk with the utmost grace. I may be feeling down, but still I will be there for my friends and family. Please tell me, how periods are disgusting? For me, even though painful, it’s beautiful, because it completes me as a Woman. And I chose to wear my womanhood proudly, with the utmost sense of respect. It’s every time same for her, me and even you. We still work hard to shine. We don’t give up. Now, Imagine yourself to be a 14 year old girl, who is all unknown to the idea of periods and suddenly gets it. Try seeing things from her perspective and judge the answer yourself. That 14 year old is expected to bind her to a corner, not sit at several places and make them “impure”. She is suddenly considered mature enough to handle the stains stuff, cramps and adjust to the uneasy and awkward putting on a napkin gives, 24

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all of a sudden. She is expected to understand all those illogical customs related to periods and follow them without raising a single ‘why?’ She is forbidden to enter the kitchen and even not allowed to touch those pure priests and grannies. She is ordered not to share a thing about what happened with her male friends, brothers and moreover everyone. Imagine how disgusting, how isolated she would feel. Not getting answers to her questions, her quires and doubts suddenly undergoing this big change would be so difficult. It is not periods which are disgusting but the way our society sees it, portrays it, and forces all those little girls to follow it!! • • Yes, it’s bleed She is Proud to wear the crown of queen She wants to conquer her dreams. Don’t limit her, she can reach high. Her life is not just to live in a cage or the walls of her home. Don’t take her for granted Value her, respect her and protect her. Above all, who else can bleed for a week every month but not die? Little girls with big dreams will change the world one day, Let she fly higher, She be the bud now, And turn into a beautiful flowers. 25

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She can do anything. * “SHE BLEEDS” A group of boys standing behind started making her fun, look at that tomato ketchup stain she is flaunting, they shouted. Unaware of what was happening, she rushed to the school’s washroom, saw stains of blood on her skirt, blood flowing between her thighs! Tears trickling down her cheeks. Am I going to die? -she mumbled. Hiding the blood stain from everyone, she reached home. Started questioning her mother, one by one. Mother hugged her daughter, caressed her warmly, and said -Never be ashamed of this blood stains, for this is what differentiates you, from the men out there. This is the epitome of women’s strength. This shows we need not compete with man for strength in society. We need not depend on them, we are strong enough to take care of ourselves. This society will make feel ashamed, that you blood. They will tell you not to enter temples, not to touch pickles , will put restrictions on you. Will laugh on you, if they see blood stain. Will see you as criminal, whenever you will go out to buy sanitary napkins. They will find it disgraceful, if you talk about periods publically. These things will make you feel so low. But Darling, Remember one thing! They can never understand the pain, when we are hardly able to sit. The first day takes all of us, the second day hurts us so much, third day we are barely in a position to walk. From headache, stomach ache, back ache, leg pain, to the irritation we face. For they can just see the blood stain, but can never feel the pain. Yes! We bleed to keep the universe going; we bleed to create a new life.

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Never be ashamed of bleeding dark red blood. They will complain about your mood swings, But! Be proud that you bleed and that you can be yourself every month for 5 days.

To all the men who respect women, WOMAN:         

Changes her name Changes her home Leaves her family Moves in with you Builds a home with you Gets pregnant for you Pregnancy changes her body She gets fat Almost gives up in the labour room due to the unbearable pain of childbirth..  Even the kids she delivers bear your name.. Till the day she dies.. everything she does…cleaning your house, cooking, taking care of your parents, bringing up your children, earning, advising you, ensuring you can be relaxed, maintaining all family relations, everything that benefit you.. sometimes at the cost of her own health, hobbies and beauty. So who is really doing whom a favor? Dear men, appreciate the women in your lives always, because it is not easy to be a woman. *Being a woman is priceless* Men out here! Encourage your girl and she would feel like flying in heaven. 27

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I would love to see you always in salwar suit and the sari. Not because I am narrow minded, but, this shows your beauty, not your body. And I would not mind even if you wear jeans, t-shirts not because I’m open minded. But if this is comfortable for you, I am comfortable, too. I would not mind if you wear shorts and skirts, but make sure you wear it, because you want it. Not because you wanted to show it. I won’t mind if you study hard, work hard and achieve big heights, but, always remember nobody will be able to take your place as a mother, not even me. Don’t be fooled by advertisements, media and society. And don’t try to be slim and achieve zero figure. Because, I love that extra fat on your cheeks and stomach. But, that doesn’t mean you be careless about your body and put extra weight. Because, having excess weight has health risks. I want you to cook food for me. Because the amount of love in food prepared by you would be higher than that of 5* Hotel food. I want you to learn driving and banking. Because I don’t want you to be dependent on me for anything. I don’t want you to cry over that simple stupid soap opera. Because, life has more serious problems to cry over. I want you to know that sex is highly over rated. Because, this is life, not a porn movie. Mot all the men are same. I am not sex addict who would force you for sex. I respect your choices. Because I would understand your feelings. Love my family, as much as you love me. Because it is as important as you are. In the end, I want you to trust me. Forget your past experiences. Forget the men who mistreated you. I am not that same. I am someone who will truly love you.

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WOMAN MEANS:W-Wonderful Mother O-Outstanding Friend M-Marvelous Daughter A-Adorable Sister N-Nicest Gift to Men from God

GIRL… This book was about girl but there came about her family, friends, neighbors’, unknown persons. This is what I’m coming to say “a girl is a power” GIRLS ITS TIME FOR US    

We can fight for anything to get it We can stand against the violation that takes place We can deny for forcing to marry We can smash the one who disturbs us

WE CAN, WE WILL Let us show what the girl power is. A successful woman is one who can build a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at her. A girl should be a butterfly, pretty to see and hard to catch. The only time a women is helpless is when her nail polish is drying. Other than that, watch out. 29

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“The woman who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself in places no one has ever been before”.

Girls areSweet as sugar, hard as ice, hurt me once, I’ll kill you twice. GOT IT!!! Dear society, I don’t want or need your approval. THIS IS MY LIFE

Girls are meant to create a big difference in the world. GIRLS! BE THE CHANGE MAKER.

Let us join hands to kick our problems and life happily.

-x-x-x-

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Thanks for all who supported me throughout. This is just a book, it is not meant to HURT others. If so it has hurtled you then I apologize for it. If you like my book, do support me for my release of books. You can reach me throughGMAIL-paavaishribr@gmail.com or quotesofpaavai@gmail.com Do support me!!!

THANK YOU. Meet you all very soon with my next book!!!