Apologies to Edward

APOLOGIES TO EDWARD

There once was a toddler from Reading Who got in a tizz with his bedding He peed in his cot and slept in his pot And it’s doing his poor mother’s head in!

There was a young huckster from Cheam Who got a job peddling ice cream, He spouts his codswallop, and sells by the dollop That young whipper-snapper from Cheam

There was an old man of Peru Who craved Llama meat in his stew But he lived south of Putney, his stew was all muttony And not what he wanted to chew

There was an old plumber from Dorking Who smoked a briar pipe when out walking He packed it with shag from a little cloth bag That congested old plumber from Dorking

There was an old biker from Stroud Whose Harley was ever so loud He once had a Tesla which he sold to a wrestler Cos he’d rather go big, bold and proud

There was an old man with a Sow So big that he taught it to plough But one day mistaken, he sold it for bacon So now he resorts to a cow

There was a young farmer from Barmer Who was also the local snake-charmer With his snakes in a trance, he could have them all dance To the Mambo and chant Hare Rama.

There was a tall man in his tower Who yearned for more pomp and more power As POTUS 45, instead of let people thrive He milked them and turned it all sour

There was a space-traveler from Mars Who landed on Earth and caught SARS He was really pissed off, when he started to cough And now he’s infected all Mars

There was a young man from Toluca Who had an annoying verruca He sprayed it and prayed it would soon go away, Detachedly puffing on his Hookah

There was an old poacher from Rye Who dressed-up in plus fours and a tie Oft mistook for a Lord, he’d make off with his hoard And never got caught on the sly!

There was a young lad from Detroit Who was adroit at tossing the quoit Though his eyes failed the test. he ran rings round the rest But this talent was hard to exploit