San Diego
Dr. Drew Superhero of Love
www.pacificsandiego.com | FEBRUARY 2010
PERMIT NO. 94 SAN DIEGO, CA
PAID
PRSRT STD U.S. POSTAGE
sun down, music up ™
V LENTINE’S DAY
the anti-valentine’s day party at bar west. come out and meet your future ex!
959 hornblend street | san diego, ca 92109 | barwestsd.com | table service: 858.273.WEST(9378) | twitter.com/barwest
sunday 2.14.10
ANTI
world world famous famous breakfast breakfast* lunch dinner* lounge lounge * lunch** dinner *dinner breakfast * lunch * *lounge
fabulous fabulousbeach beachfront frontdining diningsince since1970 1970 fabulous beach front dining since 1970
Chef ChefChris ChrisBates Bates Chef Chris Bates
Bates’ Bates’ World World Famous Famous seafood seafood dishes dishes Bates’ World Famous seafood dishes reflect reflect hishis International approach approach reflect hisInternational International approach to to fine fine California California Coastal Coastal Cuisine. Cuisine. to fine California Coastal Cuisine. Menu Menu changes changes daily daily depending depending Menu changes daily depending onon what what fresh fresh seafood seafood is is available. available. on what fresh seafood is available.
Reservations: Reservations:858.272.3100 858.272.3100 711711Pacific PacificBeach BeachDrive Drive Pacific PacificBeach Beach Reservations: 858.272.3100 ** * 711 Pacific Beach Drive * * * Pacific Beach
World WorldFamous Famousfor forseafood... seafood...Locally LocallyFamous Famousas asthe theplace placetoto tobe be World Famous for seafood... Locally Famous as the place be
editor’s note
{staff}
Celebrating the best of everyday life in San Diego VOL.4
ISSUE 02
FEBRUARY 2010
PUBLISHERS David Perloff Simone Perloff EDITOR IN CHIEF David Perloff
CREATIVE DIRECTOR Kenny Boyer ASSISTANT EDITOR John Thomson CONTRIBUTING EDITORS Julia Clarke Brandon Hernández CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Rebecca Chappell Edwin Decker Dave Good Michael Hemmingson Cookie “Chainsaw” Randolph COVER PHOTOGRAPHY Brevin Blach, brevinblach.com PHOTOGRAPHERS Brevin Blach, brevinblach.com David Good, davegoodphotography.com Janelle Maas, janellemaas.com
ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Kimberly Gates Jim Lucich Laura Rovick INTERNS Logan Broyles, Christina Dylag MARKETING Michael Capone
Do NOT advertise in this magazine
…unless, of course, you want your business to grow next month. In that case, call 619.296.6300 or visit pacificsandiego.com right away. Otherwise, don’t do it. 10
pacificsandiego.com | FEBRUARY 2010
I
don’t pray, but I do cross my fingers when I step on blue handicap symbols in parking lots. I don’t frequent churches, synagogues or mosques, but I don’t curse gods or risk getting smote, either. Despite a genetic predisposition to atheism, deep down, I think I’m agnostic…I’m just not sure. As far as I can tell, I’m pretty much made of meat. Not farm-raised, free-range, highprotein Schwarzenegger steaks—just regular old meat, fortified with frozen meals, not enough veggies and too many vodka-sodas. For me, being just meat is okay. I can’t understand how the meat in my head enables me to think or feel or move, but the fact that it performs these activities with some regularity puts me at ease. Or, should I say, puts itself at ease? When my brain meat is happy, I am happy. Whether it was intelligent design, evolution or Buddha that put me in this chair, it’s that I’m sitting here that counts. Contemplating why I exist is above my brain meat’s USDA grade, and such rumination usually makes me feel crappy, so I prefer to eat or run or hug instead. I’m like an electric toaster, wondering how it would feel to sit on the counter without my tail sticking into the wall, becoming confused, then finding comfort in the heat that comes from within, and thinking, “I toast, therefore I am.” I remain uncertain as to what I’ll be doing after this life (I probably share a destiny with a grilled pastrami sandwich), but worrying about the future has never been my thing. Not that I’m fearless or anything—to the contrary, I’m scared of death and would strongly prefer to live forever—it’s just that I don’t see how my brain meat could possibly be relied on to predict the fate of my soul, if such a thing even exists. My wife sees it differently. “You don’t believe in anything,” she says. She believes in everything. Brazilian-born and of European descent, my wife was brought up as a Seventh Day Adventist in a region where centuries of African influence blended with the cultural heritage of settlers and natives to create a unique mixture of belief systems. When she was a teenager, Simone paid a Macumba (black magic) practitioner to sacrifice a chicken, ensuring that her future husband wouldn’t cheat on her. (It worked so far.) She still jumps over seven waves on New Year’s Eve to pay homage to Yemanja, goddess of the water, and despite Adventism’s lack of saints, she’s pretty sure Peter will be greeting her with a smile (and a cocktail) when she arrives at the pearly gates. When I was a kid, my grandmother helped teach me to recite Chanukah and Yom Kippur prayers in Hebrew. Every Friday night for Sabbath, she’d light candles and murmur religious phrases with her eyes closed, gesturing in a way to suggest she was drawing light from the flame into her being. When I asked what she was doing, Grandmom Ida told me that she was thanking god and feeling his light and warmth. Once I asked if she really believed that. She said, “I’m not really sure, David,” then walked over to the kitchen table and knocked on it…as the Old Testament commands. From black magic to Judaism, there are lots of conflicting explanations for how we all got here…and where we’re headed. But if a reformed Adventist with at least minor chickenhead-ceremony tendencies can marry the irreverent, horoscopereading grandson of an agnostic Jew who knocks on wood, there has to be an underlying force that unites us all. It must be love. Please enjoy this fourth annual Love Issue of PacificSD. Love you, Grandmom. If there’s a heaven, I know you’re there. If they serve drinks, order me a vodka-soda. (For anyone who read this section last month, please note that Grandmom Ida died a few years ago and is not Ruth, my step-grandmother from Laguna, who is still alive and kicking…and who turned 101 years old on January 25.)
David Perloff, Editor in Chief
Slow Down
in de syrah invites you and your chéri for a lovely nightcap this valentines day chocolate covered strawberries and a bottle of wine or champagne – $30 for reservations please email – Daniela@syrahwineparlor.com 619.234.4166 | www.vindesyrah.com | info@syrahwineparlor.com | 901 5th avenue tuesday – saturday 4pm – 2am | sunday 4pm – 12am
{contents}
pacific
{Features} 30 Love, Actually
What is love? Loveline’s Dr. Drew Pinsky, Tough Love’s Steve Ward and eight other sexperts give PacificSD their answers
{Departments} CURRENTS 15 Kings of Pop Roy Lichtenstein, Andy Warhol and other Pop Art heroes land in La Jolla 19
Galvanizing San Diego San Diego 6’s Ruben Galvan talks about entertaining television viewers and shaking his groove thang
GROOVE 42 The Love Party Because we love you (and we love to party) 44 Hair of the Dog Meet man’s new best friend
22 What’s Your Number? If it’s seven digits, you just set a record
46 Then, Again Tribute bands help rock fans turn back the clock
24 Giving the Finger Championship—the only ring a pro athlete should wear
48 Just Say Uncle Economy got you down? Let PacificSD pick you up
26 Get a Grip Non-surgical solutions for losing love handles
50 Making Love A magazine’s attempt to formulate romance
28 Shui Loves Me, Shui Loves Me Not Don’t leave love to chance—organize your bedroom TASTE 40 Bubble Yum The 411 on popping the cork for a sparkling Valentine’s Day
12
pacificsandiego.com | FEbruary 2010
CALENDAR 56 Two.Ten February event listings THINK 58 Love is a Battlefield Give yourself a fighting chance
ON THE COVER: Dr. Drew Pinsky was shot at the Pasadena Recovery Center by Brevin Blach, brevinblach.com. Hair, makeup and styling by Jeanette Marie, jeanette-marie.com.
breakfast
lunch
dinner
all night
BEST HOTCAKES IN TOWN OR THEY’RE FREE
open 24 hours | breakfast anytime 828 Sixth Avenue, Gaslamp Quarter | 619.702.8410 | www.brians24.com
upfront
anchors away
voice
chainsaw
currents
body
home
Kings of POP
V
iew works from Roy Litchenstein, Andy Warhol and other prolific modern art masters as the touring Classic Contemporary exhibit stops at Museum of Contemporary Art San Diego, in La Jolla. Pop in for some Pop Art from February 21 to March 21. mcasd.org
“Don’t pay any attention to what they write about you. Just measure it in inches.” —Andy Warhol Kiss III, by Roy Lichtenstein, © Estate of Roy Lichtenstein
FEBRUARY 2010 | pacificsandiego.com
15
upfront
S t i l lwat e r s , c o u rt e s y o f S p i k e ‘ n ’ M i k e
{currents}
Twist and Shout
Laugh, scream and cringe as Spike ‘n’ Mike’s Sick & Twisted Festival of Animation makes its triumphant return to the Museum of Contemporary Art in La Jolla. Contributors to previous versions of this demented brand of distraction include Tim Burton, Mike Judge (Beavis and Butthead, King of the Hill, The Goode Family) and Trey Parker and Matt Stone (South Park). Show times for February 12 March 20: Fridays, 9 p.m.; Saturdays, 7:15 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. spikeandmike.com
C o u rt e s y o f C i r q u e d e S o l e i l
Clowning Around Return to Paradise
After a $20 million remodel, Mission Bay’s Paradise Point resort (once the launching pad for the Pacific Princess cruise ship, aka the Love Boat) is open for business. With 462 bungalow-style guest rooms, indoor and outdoor dining options and a pervasive South Pacific theme, the 44-acre waterfront property beckons locals and tourists alike. (Those 5,000person Barefoot Bar parties seem so long ago.) paradisepoint.com 16
pacificsandiego.com | FEBRUARY 2010
Cirque du Soleil returns to San Diego with their critically acclaimed production, KOOZA. Premiering February 25 under the Grand Chapiteau (big top) at the Del Mar Fairgrounds, the performance focuses on two fundamental circus traditions: acrobatic performances and the art of clowning. cirquedesoleil.com
anchor
Galvanizing San Diego
san diego 6’s ruben galvan on entertaining local news viewers and shaking his groove thang
{currents}
R
By julia clarke | photo by janelle maas uben Galvan is sitting in the kitchen/lounge at the San Diego 6 television studios when he’s asked to describe the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to him while cameras were rolling. Just then, anchor Marc Bailey walks into the room and interjects, “What about that time you got attacked by a military training dog and broke your wrist? Or when you
Ruben Galvan gets some airtime on a Little Italy rooftop
Anchors Away See what San Diego anchors are doing when they’re away from the TV studio.
FEBRUARY 2010 | pacificsandiego.com
19
{currents}
Oprah, Número Dos Galvan has high hopes for his TV future: “I want to be on a national stage, and I see myself having my own show,” he says. “It makes me happy when people come up to me and tell me I made them laugh or I made their day. It’s just who I am, and I’m glad people are responding to that.” With Oprah announcing plans to end her show, there may just be a job opening; Galvan wants to be the “Mexican Oprah, with a twist.” The twist: a loose, fun style akin to The Ellen Degeneres Show. And you can bet there will be dancing.
20
anchor
accidentally said ‘shit’ while you were riding a bull at the Lakeside rodeo? Or…” Bailey’s voice trails off as Galvan’s boisterous laugh fills the space. Unfazed, Galvan offers up another of his sitcom-worthy moments: “Once I was dancing, on-air, and dropped down and ripped my pants open. The most embarrassing thing was that I wasn’t wearing any underwear that day!” As San Diego 6 News in the Morning’s feature entertainment reporter, Galvan has found himself in every situation imaginable, from interviewing celebrities like Jennifer Lopez and Eva Longoria on the red carpet to riding a wild bull at the Lakeside rodeo. The work, he says, is the realization of a long-held dream. “In college, I knew right away I wanted to be a news reporter,” says Galvan, whose role model as a kid was Peter Jennings. After graduating from college, Galvan learned the ropes during an internship with the FOX affiliate in his hometown of Houston. His first paid gig was as a hard news reporter at a station in Boise, Idaho, where he covered murder trials, education and other civic news. He lasted eight months before deciding the job wasn’t a perfect fit. “I was beginning to think this work wasn’t for me, but I thought I’d give it another chance back in Texas,” he recalls. After two more stints, he began to doubt if the TV news business was his true calling. That’s when he decided to make a break for it. “I always wanted to live in California, so I packed up my little Jetta and drove to San Diego.” When he arrived, the first thing he did was drop off a job application at Banana Republic in Fash ion Valley (“I knew I needed a job right away”) and a demo tape at the (then) XETV studio. Five days later, Banana Republic called to offer him a job. An hour after that, the XETV station manager called to invite Galvan to be a freelance reporter. The decision was easy. When a veteran entertainment reporter became ill, Galvan was asked to fill in—and he knew right away that he had found his niche. “It came so natural to me,” he says. Despite his on-air gabbiness and outgoing personality, Galvan says he’s different off-camera. “People see that one side of Ruben—high energy—but in real life I’m a really private person and kind of a shy guy.” He spends his downtime catching up with
pacificsandiego.com | FEBRUARY 2010
“I always wanted to live in California, so I packed up my little Jetta and drove to San Diego.” friends, dining out around town (especially in his Little Italy neighborhood) and going to the movies. Or you might catch him running along the beach in Coronado or La Jolla. But his alltime favorite activity? Dancing. “I’m always dancing in the car before I go to work. I can dance anywhere…sometimes it can get a little out of hand,” he says. If you want to catch Galvan in action, swing by The Waterfront, Stingaree or Vin de Syrah one of these nights. Underwear optional. n
2009 Readers’ Choice
“Best of ” First Place
{currents}
voice
What’s Your Number?
IF IT’S SEVEN DIGITS, YOU JUST SET A RECORD
F
or even the most flirtatious singles on the prowl, getting someone’s number is no small feat. So, asking a stranger to reveal his or her number of sexual partners must be even more difficult…if not outright dangerous. Risking ridicule and physical trauma, PacificSD’s interns pack the tour bus with the latest in scientific measuring devices (a dry-erase board, magic marker and digital camera) and head to the epicenter of singledom: Pacific Beach. Driving west down Garnet Avenue, they find a rare parking spot right in front of Johnny V nightclub and dining lounge. It’s Friday happy hour, and the place is packed, making it the ideal location in which to conduct our groundbreaking sexperiment. Plying patrons with alcohol and promises of stardom, the interns manage to collect important data. How does your number compare? n
Zoe Y., 24 (left): “I own it, I love it!” Meg H., 27 (middle): “Awesome.” Angela B., 27 (right): “I’m engaged now, so I’m not proud of my number, but it made me know who I want to marry.”
Ali A., 28: “And counting…” Jamie J., 33: “Always adding on.” Jeff L., 33: “Carpe diem!”
Michelle B., 23: “I’m proud of mine.” Chase A., 24: “I feel happy about my number.
Hard Data from johnny v’s
pacificsandiego.com | FEBRUARY 2010
National average San Diego average
7
13*
4 Men
}
22
Kasey K., 23: “It’s the perfect amount.” Kevin R., 25: “Solid.”
81*
}
McKenzie D., 23: “It’s my little secret.” <McKenzie wouldn’t let Kyle see her number, until now, of course> Kyle S., 24: “Probably average. Normal. Mediocre.”
Average sexual partners
Total respondents: 13 Total sexual partners: 580 Average sexual partners per person: 44.6
Women
(*data may be skewed by ego)
{currents}
sports
Giving the Finger
CHAMPIONSHIP—THE ONLY RING A PRO ATHLETE SHOULD WEAR By COOKIE “CHAINSAW” RANDOLPH
W
e’ve known it since the seventh grade: chicks dig athletes. Always have, always will. It’s different for these guys in a way the rest of us will never know. Too many temptations on the road—the iPhone even has an app for sports groupies looking for visiting team hotels. (It’s called the iJeter. It’s as easy as Click-Find-SCORE.) Monogamy is virtually impossible for these guys during their careers. Maybe athletes should treat marriage like the Hall of Fame: they shouldn’t be eligible until five years after their careers are over. It takes that long adjusting to life after sports anyway—the sudden lack of road action, budgeting 1/50th the income, sleeping in the same bed for months at a time— not to mention detoxifying from the steroids and regenerating the reproductive organs. In the case of Tiger Woods, maybe he should have postponed marriage until after his putter failed him completely (and a sympathetic Veterans As a child, Cookie “Chainsaw” Randolph dreamed of becoming a superstar athlete who got all the chicks. Didn’t quite pan out.
24
pacificsandiego.com | FEBRUARY 2010
Committee votes him in), because golf’s senior tour keeps the pressure on almost indefinitely. To this day, veteran cougars are still lining up for Jack and Arnie at 19th hole saloons in Pebble Beach and Boca Raton. And after we found out Tiger tagged a hostess from Applebee’s, is it any wonder Coco’s waitresses are still fighting over Lee Trevino’s booth? Of all the major sports, NFL players might be the safest bet for marriage, because they spend the fewest nights on the road. At two nights per road game, even a Super Bowl qualifier maxes out at 30-35 away nights per season. Double that number for the NBA. And counting spring training, major leaguers are away from the home bed a good 100 nights a year. I guess NFL players are the safest bet. Until, that is, one remembers that former NFL player Travis Henry had nine kids by nine different women during his playing career. Another genius theory shot to hell. Then there’s the case of A.C. Green, whose
nickname should have been “The Immaculate Exception.” A devout Christian on three of the Los Angeles Laker NBA championship teams in the ‘80s, Green had publicly declared his virginity and pledged celibacy until his career was over. Teammates would frequently send women to his room to tempt him, but instead of succumbing to their voluptuous charms and questionable medical histories, Green would respond by calmly quoting scripture. I think it was John 3:69, which reads, in part: “Let ye be gone, thou harlot! Magic is in 508.” (Or something like that.) Green stayed true and saved himself for marriage, which finally came in 2002, one year after he retired from the NBA, at age 38. Who among us could hold out that long? Alas, for the rest of the pros who insist on sowing more oats than Quaker: Don’t get married until you’re at least 30… provided you retire at 25. n
Hey, Chainsaw! No female athletes mentioned! What’s up with that? Fair question. But so far we haven’t heard of Serena, Annika or Danica hooking up with parades of baristas and man-whores. So, until Lindsay, Britney or Paris becomes a professional athlete, the fellas will continue to dominate this leaderboard.
valentines day Sunday 2/14/10
Stingaree, encore, iag, Sfinx, & 3d PreSent a Live Performance By
With a Portion of the ProceedS donated to it’S aLL aBout the KidS foundation SoundS By:
dj’S angLe | Schoeny | fingaz rooftoP muSic Provided By:
coLLin Perry | Brett neiman | Kevin BroWn
Stingaree | voted Best San diego nightclub four years in a row. 454 Sixth ave. | San diego ca, 92101 | 619.544.9500 | for bottle service & roof top cabanna’s call 619.544.1viP | stingsandiego.com
body
Get a Grip
non-surgical solUtions FOR LOSING LOVE HANDLES By DAVE GOOD
N
o, we do not love them. In truth, we don’t even like them. They are not cute. They are not money. Sometimes referred to as side bumpers, spare tires, sausage gut, fat back, saddle bags (Brits call them wobbly bits) or the ever-lovin’ muffin top, love handles actually serve no such purpose. Not only a turnoff, they can be an indicator of conditions that might lead to diabetes and heart disease. The cause? Living large, lack of exercise and tension. Experts say that excess levels of stress hormones can result in excess tummy. Even love can lead to love handles—married couples, says a new study published in the July issue of Obesity, are twice as likely to pack on the poundage as are couples that are only dating. More common in men than women, love handles are uglier than cankles and harder to lose than man boobs. Or, are they?
Zerona: It’s a Bad Day for Belly Fat “America,” says Dr. Stuart Kincaid, a board certified plastic surgeon with practices in both San Diego and Temecula, “is overfed and under-exercised.” Hence the rise in liposuction, a procedure that he says is by far the most requested cosmetic surgery in America. “About 150,000 such surgeries were performed last year alone,” says Dr. Kincaid. Then, in 2009, Zerona, a laser emulsifier, became available. “It is non-invasive,” Dr. Kincaid explains, “meaning no incision, no anesthetic, no heat, no burn.” In the course of the standard regimen of six treatments performed over a two-week period, the doctor says a patient can lose a minimum of 3.5 inches in circumference. “It seems to microscopically open cell pores, allowing fatty acids to drain out,” he says. And unlike standard lipo or laser-assisted lipo, Dr. Kincaid says “there’s no down time, and there’s no pain.” Coronado-based cosmetic surgeon Jeffry Schafer likes Zerona so much that he and his wife are currently undergoing treatments.
Dr. Stuart Kincaid, M.D., F.A.C.S. skincaidmd.com Jeffry Schafer, M.D., F.R.S.M. sandiegolipo.com Sandra Blackie freedomoffitness.com 26
pacificsandiego.com | FEBRUARY 2010
“After a fruitful holiday season,” he laughs, “there’s been a little bit of widening.” Dr. Schafer says that they are about halfway through their program. “My wife has lost about five pounds and I’ve lost a little more than that.” So, is Zerona the end to having to do those dreaded sit-ups? “It’s not really going to be a way to increase your abdominal tone,” he says. “It’s just to lose those pounds.” Conversely, sit-ups, he says, don’t really work for eliminating love handles. “You can’t spot reduce. If you’re a woman, exercise may help you lose fat from your breasts, your neck, or your butt, when your whole concern was to lose it from another specific area.” In other words, the muffin top. “Almost everybody,” he says, “is unhappy with their middle.”
Boot Camp for Your Belly The old-school solution to the battle of the bulge, says Sandra Blackie, is to get up off the couch, and to eat sensibly. “The bottom line in losing love handles is that there has to be a calorie deficit,” she says. Blackie should know. In the ’80s and ’90s, she was a pro bodybuilder. Today, she operates Freedom of Fitness and is the staff nutritionist for the Sporting Club at Aventine in La Jolla. “Do a minimum of 30 minutes of cardiovascular exercise three times a week, to the point that you’re borderline out of breath,” she says, “and eat reasonable portions of healthy foods.” But, she says, “the faster you lose, the more likely you are to gain it back. Deprivation,” she says in reference to quick-fix fad diets, “causes binge behavior.” And isn’t binging what got you into tummy trouble in the first place? n
Z e r o n a l a s e r , c o u rt e s y o f E r c h o n i a
{currents}
ad desgin brochures calendars * * * catalogs • corporate identity editorial design logos flyers * * * labels & tags • letterhead sets logos marketing * media kits * menus * outdoor • packaging posters promotional items packaging t-shirts • books • brochures calendars * * catalogs corporate identity editorial design • exhibits • flyers labels * * & tags posters labels & tags kits • menus • outdoor packaging • * * posters • websites catalogs t-shirts books • brochures • calendars * * • catalogs corporate identity editorial design • logos • flyers • labels * * & tags • letterhead sets • logos marketing • media kits • menus • outdoor • packaging • posters promotional items • shopping bags • t-shirts • books • brochures calendars • catalogs • corporate identity editorial design • logos flyers • labels & tags • letterhead sets • logos marketing • media kits • menus NO• JOB outdoor TOO BIG• ORpackaging TOO SMALL! * posters promotional items • shopping bags t-shirts • custom logo design: $125 business card design: $75 1,000 business cards: $75 website home page: $125 Regular Total Price: $400
$199
Let us put a smile on your face with a
Free Mini Facial (first-time clients, no purchase necessary, mention this ad)
design package
studioKproductions.net Cell: 760.805.5626
GRAPHIC MEDIA + DESIGN
Office: 760.231.9822 Email: studioKproductions@gmail.com
Escape to ... San Diego Face Medical Spa
Roy A. David, MD, FACS, Medical Director
Visit our website for more spa specials and exciting events
www.SDMedicalSpa.com 858.658.0999
Be sure to display art that shows two people, two animals, or whatever inspires you, and place items around
Shui L ves Me, Shui L ves Me N t GIVE LOVE A CHANCE—ORGANIZE YOUR BEDROOM By REBECCA CHAPPELL / PHOTO BY PAUL BRODY
H
ave you lost that loving feeling? It may be your bedroom’s fault. Practitioners of the ancient Chinese art of Feng Shui (pronounced fung shway) believe that what goes on in our lives is a reflection of our personal environments. By successfully balancing the flow of energy, or chi, in a space, it is thought that we can attract the life of our dreams. “When you walk into a room and instantly feel safe, comfortable and happy, that’s good Feng Shui at the most basic level,” explains Tamara Romeo, owner of SouthCoast Feng Shui Design in Del Mar. “In a bedroom, there are specific indicators of good and bad Feng Shui. For example, are you sleeping well? Are you and your partner intimate as often as you’d like to be?” If your answer to that second question is, “No,” read on. Just in time for Valentine’s Day, Romeo shares these tips for how to prime your bedroom for love by incorporating Feng Shui. What are some basics of good bedroom Feng Shui? Open your windows every day to let air and sunlight circulate through the room. This invites positive energy and naturally clears the space of any lingering smells. Make sure to have a supportive headboard or a wall behind your head versus a window or open space to encourage feelings of safety and security. And avoid positioning your bed under “hanging” items such as beams, ceiling fans and chandeliers. Our subconscious mind finds these things uncomfortable. Plus, it hurts if you hit your head while having a little fun! What might lead to bad bedroom Feng Shui? People try to multi-purpose their bedrooms with televisions, exercise equipment or work-related items, and that’s a big no-no. A bedroom’s purpose is to be a warm, welcoming sanctuary of love. Items in the space that represent any activity other than sex or sleep create an opposite, negative energy. Also, water creates an energy field of too much emotion. In the bedroom, it can create problems in a relationship, including lack of passion, because Feng Shui expert, Tamara Romeo
28
pacificsandiego.com | FEBRUARY 2010
your home in pairs, especially in your bedroom. 20th floor rootfop terrace > fitness center > trolley at your doorstep > upgraded kitchens
the views are outrageous. the price is not. Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall Mirrors in the bedroom can definitely enhance your sex life, but in Feng Shui, mirrors represent the element of water. And because a bedroom is a warm, dry, nurturing space, Romeo says we should avoid cooling it down with water-related items. Mirrors also tend to reflect and bounce energy around the space, detracting from the relaxed atmosphere we are trying to create. Therefore, Romeo recommends having no more than one mirror in your bedroom, and a small one if possible. If that doesn’t cut it for your shag sessions, Romeo suggests buying a wardrobe mirror. Simply bring it in the bedroom for a sexy romp, then move it back to the closet when you’re done. Yeah baby, yeah!
water cools fire. Keep water images, fountains and aquariums in more active areas of your home. What else should be avoided? Don’t keep any furniture pieces in the bedroom that symbolize “downer” moments. If you can afford to, throw out that old mattress, or at least the bedding from your last relationship, and get new ones. Also, move photos of your family and friends out of the bedroom. This is your love den—no one needs to be looking at your cousin’s wedding photos or your son’s first communion. Any artwork should be romantic, soothing and represent a happy couple. What colors or accessories work best? To achieve balance in the room, start with soothing skin tones ranging from light cream to velvety brown. The goal here is to promote the best flow of energy for sleep, as well as sexual healing. Then incite passion with “fire” elements—hot colors such as crimson, coral or fuchsia, and plenty of candles. If you’re afraid you may forget to blow them out, you can find battery-operated candles that work on a timer. Leather and animal prints also represent fire. So, for example, you could incorporate a leather headboard or zebra-striped throw to “heat things up.” Another fun accent piece would be a red feather boa. That’s something that definitely has a few purposes in the bedroom!
wh
? y n ot o wn priced from $150,000 to $550,000
Why rent when you can own your home in the lively downtown of San Diego for as little as $1280/month? The time is now to stop paying rent and start owning your own corner of the world. Smart Corner’s upgraded contemporary lofts and panoramic views are available now. You’ve got to see it to believe it: for a smart investment and opportunity to own your home, visit Smart Corner today.
the tower
the lofts
the rooftop
the kitchens
C Street Trolley
Trolley
Park Blvd
11th Street
Any tips for the chronically single? Make room for romance by clearing out clutter. This includes saying goodbye to your junior-high collections of dolls and stuffed animals. Look at the art throughout your home. Solitary figures convey messages of independence and thus remaining a “single.” Be sure to display art that shows two people, two animals, or whatever inspires you, and place items around your home in pairs, especially in your bedroom. Finally, have nightstands and lamps on both sides of the bed. It not only makes the space appear balanced, but also creates the energy of being part of a pair. Your partner will get the message to “stay” when the room feels like it is already meant for two, rather than just one. n
* 0 8 2 1 $ ... /month
Broadway
smartcorner.net
*Monthly payment based on Studio purchase price of $149,000 with 20% down. 5% Interest rate on a 30-year fixed. Includes HOA dues, Taxes, and Insurance. Credit qualifications apply. Pricing and loan programs subject to change. Please see your sales representative for details.
1080 Park Blvd. | Suite 917 | San Diego | 619.546.5835
The Pasadena Recovery Center, where Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew and spin-off Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew have been taped (and where this issue’s cover photo was taken), rehabilitates people suffering from a variety of addictions, including sex addiction. The National Council on Sexual Addiction Compulsivity estimates that six to eight percent of Americans are sex addicts—that’s anywhere from 18 to 24 million people. The recent uncovering of Tiger Woods’ extramarital sexual exploits—and the question of whether or not he is currently receiving treatment for sexual addiction—has spurred a national dialogue about a topic that’s uncomfortable for many to discuss, let alone confront. Still, we’re not expecting Tiger to step in front of the reality TV cameras anytime soon. 30
pacificsandiego.com | FEBRUARY 2010
For more of Dr. Drew’s insights, pick up a copy of his latest book
L ACTUALLY ve,
Other resources Dr. Drew recommends: Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love, by Helen Fisher
Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray, by Helen Fisher A General Theory of Love, by Thomas Lewis Dreams of Love and Fateful Encounters, by Ethel S. Person
A MANY-SPLENDORED THING? IT DEPENDS WHO YOU ASK... By JULIA CLARKE | PHOTOS BY BREVIN BLACH |
Dr. Drew’s hair and makeup by Jeanette Marie
It’s an age-old question with infinite answers: What is love? To get to the heart of the issue—to demystify the definition of romantic love—PacificSD called upon 10 love and sex experts: Loveline’s Dr. Drew Pinsky, Steve Ward from VH1’s Tough Love, a Playboy Playmate, the Director of Sexual Medicine at Alvarado Hospital, a reverend, two sexologists, two sex-shop owners and a dating coach. With answers as diverse as their backgrounds, these 10 prove—when it comes to a throbbing heart, each of us is marching to the beat of a different lover.
Dr. Drew Pinsky The New York Times has called Dr. Drew the “Gen-X answer to Dr. Ruth Westheimer.” Host of the long-running, nationallysyndicated radio show, Loveline (heard locally on 91X), he’s also the star of VH1 hit shows Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, Sober House and Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew. His hybridized role of TV host-slash-medical expert can also be seen on MTV’s Sex…With Mom and Dad and 16 & Pregnant: Life After Labor. Boardcertified in internal and addiction medicine, Dr. Drew is a leading resource for young people looking for medically credible answers to their love and sex queries. He’s also Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at USC’s Keck School of Medicine, runs a private practice and is on staff at Huntington Memorial Hospital in Pasadena, where he lives with his wife and teenage triplets. Juggling work, fame and family requires superhero focus. Luckily for us, the mild-mannered love doctor took the time to tell PacificSD readers what love means to him. Love means something different for individuals across social and historical contexts. It’s such a massive topic. There’s a sociologist at UCSD who says love at first sight is just lust that works out. That’s primarily what’s going on in adolescent years; people are basically looking for fecundity and genetic fitness. And at no other time in the life cycle are males and females more different biologically. The motivational priorities are different. Suffice it to say, a female has to dedicate quite a bit more time and resources to reproduction than men. Fundamentally there are many areas of the brains being activated—there is a basal system of the brain saying, “Go do this,
or else.” These are primitive, biological mechanisms left behind by our evolutionary heritage. On a hormonal level, women respond to the influence of estrogen; men respond to testosterone. That’s what’s driving the normal systems. Then, what about choice? Certainly we look for a certain emotional fittedness that’s similar to the love maps of our childhood. Humans have an autonomous drive to be with other people. The first people we are drawn to are our parents. That attachment model tends to fit hand-in-glove with what we look for later in life. Romantic love is something that’s overdone in our culture. When I’m talking to people in an addictive, clingy relationship, they say, “What about Romeo and Juliet?” To that I say, “Exactly! Look at how that ended: with two people dead.” Confusing love with sex is a very common problem today. To some extent, males experience sex as a loving gesture. But for some people, the two get very confused. Things to consider: Are there boundaries between self and other? Are you sharing autonomously? Is there reciprocity in terms of giving, taking and attuning to one another? In mature love, you’re moving away from the excitatory system to the nurturing system, the system that builds things like intimacy, attunement to others and the ability to regulate emotions. I would characterize mature love as intimacy, lust and a shared life experience. The most important thing is to know yourself. Do you want a crazy, tumultuous, unhappy relationship with someone you’re really attracted to? Or do you want something nourishing? It’s healthy to spend time with other people to figure out who you are and what you want. Cultivate the art of dating and courtship. Try people on for size—it’s a really healthy experience. Don’t be afraid. And stop imagining your wedding dress every time you go on a date. FEBRUARY 2010 | pacificsandiego.com
31
“Men go into relationships to get sex. Women use sex to get men into relationships.”
32
pacificsandiego.com | FEBRUARY 2010
Steve Ward’s hair and makeup by Jeanette Marie
STEVE WARD Steve Ward’s online bio claims he has “scores of long-term relationships and marriages under his belt.” We’re guessing that’s a reference to his success as a matchmaker, and not to his own love life. As the star of VH1’s hit reality show, Tough Love, this self-proclaimed “dating pathologist” guides women through the often choppy waters of the dating world—sometimes with brutal honesty, but always with his insightful male perspective. To me, “love” can be defined in many different ways. But when you’re talking about love between two people, I believe love is the personification of beauty in anything you see, without any feeling of threat or harm coming to you from it. So, I love children, I love sunsets, I love my family, I love women. The foundation to any relationship with any person— man, woman, older person, child, working, platonic, romantic, whatever— should be communication, respect and trust. Those are the three acid tests for any relationship. If anybody ever truly violates those principles, then they are not deserving of your love. Essentially, if you can establish that foundation with somebody, and it’s a very concrete foundation, the relationship can survive anything. My job is to diagnose any disease or disorder that I’ve seen in someone’s lovelife. So, what I do is take a look at all their past experiences, from childhood to where they are today, and their relationships with everybody in their life—from parents to siblings to friends to employers and so forth. When I aggregate it all and look at what they do in their relationships, I am able to identify a pattern— something that they consistently do right or they consistently do wrong. And if you look at what you’re doing wrong, then you can address it with a 360-degree perspective and hopefully grow as a person from doing it. If you’re looking to jumpstart your love life, change something—change your habits, your patterns, where you go to get your coffee, the grocery store you shop in, your gym, your way to work, where your favorite place is to go for an after-work drink. You have to expose yourself to people that you’re not normally likely to bump into and increase your possibilities of meeting somebody that you may end up in a relationship with.
Game Over According to Ward, one of the biggest dating deal-breakers is a negative personality. “Women are often too negative, and men often try to compensate where it’s not needed,” he says. “Essentially, what women tend to do is complain about the littlest thing, which has no consequence whatsoever. It’s not because they necessarily are affected by it; it’s just because they are…maybe annoyed. Complaining about something as simple as losing your keys or breaking a nail or not being able to find a parking spot may not be seem like a big deal to you as a woman, but it sends a message to a man that you’re a negative person; and nobody wants to go into a relationship with someone they don’t think is going to bring a positive influence into their life. What men tend to do when a woman complains about one of these things is try to solve some sort of problem. For example, if a woman says, ‘I’m so upset, because Suzy at work is wearing the same shirt that I just bought last week, and she knows that I have that shirt and I can’t believe she wore it into work,’ a guy is going to step in and say, ‘Just don’t wear that shirt anymore.’ And it’s not that you even need him to try tell you what to do, it’s just that you need him to listen.”
For more of Steve Ward’s Tough Love and relationship advice, read his new book
HIROMI OSHIMA
— Playboy Playmate, June 2004
Feeling is the key to knowing love. Your heart feels love before your brain realizes it. Love can be the passionate sensation between two lovers, or the comforting attachment between family and friends. No matter what the source, love overwhelms me with such a strong positive energy that it brightens my entire life. I need it both ways, to love and to feel loved. Love should be an easy thing to understand—it’s not like mathematics, with its figures and facts—but it’s not. Sometimes your mind plays tricks on you when it comes to love, making you feel sad or sick. When I find myself in these situations, I don’t let it overwhelm me. Instead, I close my eyes and just listen to what my heart tells me…how I feel, what I feel.
FEBRUARY 2010 | pacificsandiego.com
33
DR. IRWIN GOLDSTEIN As Director of San Diego Sexual Medicine at Alvarado Hospital, the first and only facility of its kind, Dr. Irwin Goldstein is improving San Diegans’ sex lives, one patient at a time. Editor-in-Chief of The Journal of Sexual Medicine, he has written more than 325 publications in the field of sexual dysfunction, and his research on penile erection has been funded by the National Institutes of Health for more than 20 years. It’s the kind of research that has led to the development of drugs like Viagra. Dr. Goldstein, a urologist, is also Clinical Professor of Surgery at UCSD, where he’s trying to introduce sexual medicine into the med school curriculum. Love is the joy and respect of being intimate. There are huge health benefits to having sex and love being merged: less stress, lower blood pressure, advantages to the ego and well-being. In Jewish thought, we are taught that having sex is being closer to God. It’s a very positive thing and the most wonderful way to share with another person. Back when I was in medical school, people didn’t understand erections, G-spots, how an orgasm occurred. I was exposed to a urologist who was one of the few experts in placing penile implants. There was this condition called impotence—now called erectile dysfunction. Now we know that sexual problems are primarily biological. Your reaction to the biological problem leads to the psychological problem. The psychology is secondary now. For men, we have penile implants, drugs that we can inject into the penis, vacuum devices we can put around the penis, surgical procedures that can increase blood flow. We just had a 23-year-old who rode his bike from San Francisco to Philadelphia to see his girlfriend. Here he thought he’d get to Philadelphia and have all this sex. Well, guess what? Bike riding is one of the many biologic things that can lead to dysfunction. The artery to his penis was blocked. So we took an artery from his stomach and replaced it. He just called to report that all systems were go. The most appropriate diet for a good sex life is the Mediterranean Diet—lots of olive oil, red wine, fruit, nuts and vegetables. Get lots of exercise—it works toward the preservation of healthy sexual function. Except cycling, of course. Another important thing is maintaining hormone health. Women have an abrupt hormone change around 50; men have an equivalent change around 40. It’s important to recognize that age is not the determinant of sexual health—it’s hormone health. Hormones keep genitals healthy. Mental health is also important—be optimistic and hopeful. 34
pacificsandiego.com | FEBRUARY 2010
Sexual Healing Dr. Goldstein was on the advisory board for Viagra for five years before it was finally released to the public in 1998, just in time for Valentine’s Day. “Of the thousands of phone calls we received after Viagra came out, the vast majority were from women,” says Dr. Goldstein. “They all asked, ‘What about me?!’ Prior to that, we were exclusively treating men.” Now, Dr. Goldstein is a pioneer in diagnosing and treating sexual health problems in women. He’s very involved in the drug trials for Flibanserin, the first FDA-approved drug to treat Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD) in women. “When the partner advances, it’s like the woman’s pilot light is on but the flame doesn’t ignite,” says Dr. Goldstein. “Filbanserin rebalances the imbalances in the brain.” Another common problem for women in menopause is Sexual Arousal Disorder—“when you can’t get your tissues to engorge, pulsate,” he explains. A third issue is orgasmic dysfunction. “There are many, many men and women who can’t have orgasms.”
DAVID DEW The “Please don’t laugh” signs posted inside Dr. Love’s Erotic Superstore in Pacific Beach reveal David Dew’s belief that sexual pleasure is no laughing matter. In fact, it’s everyone’s birthright, he says. Dew’s mission is threefold: “to serve as the world’s finest resource for quality products and information, to model honest communication about sexuality, and to take every possible opportunity to promote the philosophy that sex is fun and natural.”
Love is the unity of two souls bound together for life—a bond that survives through anger, sadness, pain, heartbreak and joy. Taking that journey through the hard times with trust and strength is a love meant to be, and the perfect foundation for a love that will last forever. Love is caring so deeply and strongly for someone, you could never imagine your life without them. You would never feel complete if they weren’t there. You would be there for them whenever they need you and you would never hurt them. You would do anything to protect and make them happy at any cost. Sexual satisfaction is also extremely important in relationships. When people are satisfied with their sex lives, they’re most likely satisfied with their overall relationship. As sexual satisfaction increases, so does relationship satisfaction and intimacy. It is very significant to relationships and marriage. Couples who are less sexually satisfied during their first year of marriage are more likely to be divorced by their fourth year than individuals who were more sexually satisfied in their first year. Women are hungry for sex toys and adult movies. Not all women, of course, but a lot more than you might think, and they are flocking to women-friendly businesses like Dr. Love’s to get them. They are gathering with other women in nice suburban homes and giggling at sex toy parties the way their mothers used to gather round, drink coffee and order Tupperware. People ar far less shy about their sexuality these days. They are much more open to trying new things with their partner and spicing things up in the bedroom. Couples are demanding more in the bedroom and adding toys and stimulants to enhance their sex lives.
“Women are gathering in nice suburban homes and giggling at sex toy parties the way their mothers used to gather round, drink coffee and order Tupperware.”
Carrie Bradshaw and her BFFs from TV’s Sex and the City perhaps single-handedly (no pun intended) popularized The Rabbit vibrator. It’s one of Doctor Love’s top sellers, as are the sexual enhancement pills for guys, stimulating creams for her and Doctor Love’s own brand of personal lubricant (that is now being sold worldwide).
FEBRUARY 2010 | pacificsandiego.com
35
Drs. Nick Karras and Sayaka Adachi — sandiegosexologist.com San Diego-based “sexologists,” Drs. Nick Karras and Sayaka Adachi, study “human sexual behavior and how people feel about those behaviors with non-judgmental eyes.” Both hold doctorate degrees in Human Sexuality and both are certified sex educators. They’re also part of the Orgasm Team at San Diego Sexual Medicine at Alvarado Hospital (“We work mostly with A-Listers on orgasmic concerns—too fast, too slow, not there, not strong enough, et cetera.”) and teach at college campuses, support groups, erotic conventions and several international destinations. Adachi describes the couple’s shared view on love. Love starts within, with self. When one accepts and appreciates the whole person as they are, that’s true love. When a person loves him or herself, loving others is
much easier. Yes, chemistry and compatibility matter, but without self love and knowledge, how does one know when it’s true chemistry or compatibility, and not just insecurities? It is commonly said that there are three types of love: Eros, Philos and Agape. Eros is what we usually think about when we talk about love. This is chemistry, lust. Philos is more like friendship love—you are compatible with each other and love grows as you get to know each other. Then, there is Agape, which is what most of us truly want. This is the unconditional love that parents give to their kids. In our opinion, it is not one or the other. You can have it all. That is the ultimate love. You have chemistry, friendship and deep unconditional love. In our experience, this is rare, but it does happen. It seems to happen more easily when one is complete and happy by him- or herself, instead of looking for someone to fill the void. When we come from insecurity, the end result tends to be more disappointment and emptiness. When we love someone from self-love, even if it doesn’t work out, we learn from that experience, still love that other person and are able to release ourselves to a more compatible partner. We are continuously growing and changing; love yourself and learn about yourself. When it comes down to it, love is what we live for.
“When one accepts and appreciates the whole person as they are, that’s true love.”
At Your Service Adachi and Karras offer love, life and sex coaching for individuals, couples and groups, as well as educational workshops and pleasureproduct demonstrations at clients’ homes. “People come for many different reasons, but deep down, we just help people become more authentically happy in their whole life,” Adachi says. “We live in a society with lots of insecurities, competition, conformity and shallowness. Our job is to peel those off, and help our clients see their unique, authentic beauty within, through questions, humor and honest feedback. Our clients often tell us that our sessions are both fun and transformative.”
36
pacificsandiego.com | FEBRUARY 2010
Reverend Sileste Whitbeck Since becoming ordained as a non-denominational wedding minister in 1999, Rev. Sileste has presided over more than 100 marriages. She and her husband, also an ordained minister, have been together for 15 years. Love is an inherent feeling that we all have within us. It is how and why we are here. It is an eternal spark that comes from deep within each of us, brought forth from the very core of our being. It is precious, very precious. It is a feeling we all know, and yet the greatest of philosophers have trouble describing it. It is expressed through friendship, creativity, acts of generosity, gratitude and the act of commitment in marriage. I call it a Magical Glow, radiating from inside of our being. When two people are drawn together, that feeling can come almost immediately, sometimes in the form of a tingle in the solar plexus area. Other times, love comes softly in the form of friendship, which draws two people to know one another. Somewhere along the line, they begin to realize they have found their true soul mate. Desire comes when they want to spend every moment with each other, and look for intimacy as a part of the expression of that love. (When I say intimacy, I mean the physical as well as the emotional aspects.) When a couple seeks to marry, it is important that they communicate clearly with one another early on. I always look at communication as one of the foundations of a good and happy marriage. Part of communication is to be a good listener for your partner, and to always act with kindness toward one another, even if they disagree. Secondly, it is important to be on the same page concerning starting a family or not. Thirdly, speak to one another about budgeting and finance. One of the chief reasons for divorce is financial strain. I also feel it is important that each partner value the other as an individual, seeking to support each other’s thoughts, desires and feelings, goals and aspirations.
The God Factor “Spiritual beliefs are very, very important,” says Rev. Sileste of couples considering marriage. While it’s not necessary for a couple to practice in the same way, she says, “It is paramount that they give their partner the space to be themselves and to grow in this area in their own individual way.” As a non-denominational officiant (“In my own personal practices, I have a deep and abiding belief in and love for the God Presence which is part of and enfolds each and every one of us,” she says), Rev. Sileste can bridge the spiritual gap during the wedding ceremony: “I always remind couples that cultural and spiritual traditions can be blended to bring the greatest meaning for them,” she says. “I become a sort of neutral zone for the couple, and sometimes this helps to keep loved ones comfortable. Each ceremony carries the flavor of the couple and their uniqueness.”
FEBRUARY 2010 | pacificsandiego.com
37
DEANNA LORRAINE For years, Deanna Lorraine used her “sixth sense for innately understanding dating, relationships and how to attract the opposite sex” in advising friends and family on their love lives. That reallife experience, coupled with a host of professional certifications (life coach, hypnotherapist and success coach among them) make this dating coach and matchmaker a major asset to San Diegans looking for love.
Search Party Lorraine’s best piece of advice for someone looking for love? “Just go find it already!” She says holding out for that perfect soul mate will just lead to disappointment and a lot of wasted time. “You’re only getting older each year you stubbornly hold out for perfection or continue obsessing over qualities that really aren’t going to make much difference in the grand scheme of things,” she says. “But if you want to find love soon, what you can do is continuously improve yourself as a person, so you can attract the best and most compatible partner.”
38
pacificsandiego.com | FEBRUARY 2010
I define love as both a powerful feeling you experience and a mutual creation that you continuously build and evolve with a partner. Love is created from mutual attraction, core compatibility, shared interests and commonalities. To sustain love, couples must work together to continuously grow and develop it, and that’s a concept that most people don’t understand. They think that as soon as those crazy butterfly feelings and lust begin fading, it means they must be “falling out of love.” They don’t realize that it’s a conscious choice, that they need to take their intimacy to new heights through sharing experiences and memories, struggles and triumphs, continuously creating their own masterpiece of passion and love. Along with my experience as a dating coach and my God-given intuition for knowing how “right” two people are for each other, my strategy for creating successful matches is combining long-term compatibility with mutual chemistry. In order to make a real love connection, the key is getting to know the people I am matching on a deep and genuine level. I spend the time to get to know who they are at the core, discovering things like what they really want for their lives, what they’re most passionate about and what motivates them.By getting a strong feeling for these things, I can introduce people with high odds of their falling in love.
LEA CAUGHLAN
Lea Caughlan cofounded North Park’s The Rubber Rose in July 2006 “with the goal of broadening discussions about, and understandings of, a larger and more encompassing take on sexuality, sex and sexual health.” The “sexuality boutique” stocks a completely nontoxic selection of toys, lubricants, erotic books and other body essentials. The shop also presents art shows and workshops on positive sexuality and sexual health. “We are always focused on the goal of creating a more diverse awareness about the most intimate topics,” says Caughlan. Sexual satisfaction is a must for a monogamous romantic relationship to last. It’s just as important as honesty, communication and love. We often see reflections of sexual dissatisfaction that result in cheating, and excuses are often, “Well, it was just sex!” But “just sex” doesn’t exist if the person you are in a relationship with is your everything (and vice versa). Sexual satisfaction is pretty high on the list of needs for a relationship with yourself, as well. Dissatisfaction can lead to searching in others to give that gratification, ignoring desires or acting on impulse, often making bad choices that don’t take your true desires into account. A gratifying solo sexual experience is important on so many levels—to really know your body, desires and emotional responses to sex is to truly know yourself. There’s definitely a big demand for products to help couples achieve greater sexual enjoyment. Otherwise, the adult industry wouldn’t exist. Until recently, however, many adult toys were simply “novelties” manufactured with no real intellect behind them. In the last decade or so, we have seen a huge increase in the mainstreaming of quality products. We live in a fairly repressed society. Our sex ed simply teaches scare tactics; consent and enjoyment never enter the conversation. If our view and education about sex included these two key factors, the learning curve might be less severe. As it is, however, we learn by trial and error until we open ourselves up to the idea of the toy box. Then, endless ideas abound: different positions, oils and lubricants to taste and tantalize the senses, toys that reach those hard-to-get-to spots and vibration galore. All of this allows our inhibitions to lessen, and as we enjoy newfound passions, we can open up to desires and fantasies that we either didn’t know we had or were too nervous to verbalize, much less act out.
Pleasure Principle The entire LELO line of toys—more specifically, The Gigi—are the shop’s best sellers. “The design and engineering are top of the line, and they are all non-toxic, phthalate-free toys that are rechargeable and designed with anatomical pleasure in mind,” says Caughlan. Another perk: “They look very sexy charging right next to your iPod.”
FEBRUARY 2010 | pacificsandiego.com
39
{taste}
Bubble Yum
THE 411 ON POPPING THE CORK FOR A SPARKLING VALENTINE’S DAY By Brandon Hernández PHOTOS BY BREVIN BLACH
T
here’s nothing like a cold beer or a nice glass of wine to spice up an average day, but when special occasions roll around— birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, getting the latest issue of PacificSD—Champagne is the beverage of choice. Well, lo and behold, a heart-shaped sun is creeping up on the horizon. Valentine’s Day is almost upon us, and if you want to make sure Cupid isn’t firing blanks, your best bet is to arm yourself with a brilliant bottle of bubbly. No one knows more about this effervescent, romantic nectar than sommeliers, and George’s at the Cove’s resident wine wiz, Jesus “Chuy” Galvan, is about to uncork a magnum of whup-ass Champagne knowledge on San Diegans strategizing for a successful V-Day.
What’s In A Name? Bubbly isn’t truly “Champagne” unless it’s produced in the Champagne region of France. Like most good things, the method for crafting sparkling wines has spread the world over, and there are a number of regions outside of France producing flavorful, high-quality varietals…at a far more affordable price. Sacre bleu!
40
pacificsandiego.com | FEBRUARY 2010
Cava: Penedes is the region of Spain known for producing these cave-aged sparkling wines (“cava” means “cellar” in Catalan), which are usually bone-dry, make excellent companions to cheese and typically cost around $15.
Prosecco: This sparkling wine is made in Italy’s Veneto region (specifically Valdobbiadene and Conegliano). Proseccos are light and crisp, with hints of sweet Meyer lemons, and make an excellent midday lunch partner.
Sekt: A bit harder to find, this style of sparkling wine is popular in Germany and Austria. It is most commonly made from Riesling grapes and is slightly sweet and remarkably refreshing, thanks to Reisling’s high acidity.
cocktail
EVERY TUESDAY NIGHT IN FEBRUARY... the battle of the finest bartenders in town known as ‘Bar Wars’ will occur at your favorite beachside drinking establishment. Join us in cheering on our favorite gladiators of the pour.
EPISODE III
PacificSD: What are some basic tips for presenting a nice bottle of sparkling wine on Valentine’s Day? Galvan: Make sure it’s chilled. Have the proper stemware like a flute or tulip glass. Knowing a little information on the producer of the bubbly will impress your partner as well. What are some great spots in town to enjoy bubbly on Valentine’s Day (or any other date night)? The 3rd Corner in Ocean Beach has a perfect menu that goes well with the wines they offer. The prices are reasonable, the atmosphere is great, and you don’t have to worry about a pitcher of beer being spilled on you. A little south, at the historic Hotel Del Coronado, lies a haven for wine lovers and cheese mongers. The ENO wine tasting room serves up cheeses from all over the world and chocolate from local makers that will make you feel guilty…with a smile. Where can San Diegans get their hands on good bottles to go? I would start with The Wine Bank in the Gaslamp. Their selection is outstanding and the prices are worthy of a place named the “Bank.” Wine Sellar and Brasserie in the Miramar area is another place to try. They’re a retail shop with a terrific restaurant attached. They also buy up wine from wine collectors, so you can always count on finding something very interesting there. What are some of your favorite sparkling wine cocktails? A Kir Royal, which is sparkling wine with a dash of raspberry liqueur for color and a little sweeter taste. We also have a drink at George’s called an Elegant Lady that’s been on the menu for 15 years. It has strawberry-infused vodka, freshly squeezed lemonade, a dash of raspberry liqueur and a float of champagne. But if you want to change the integrity of sparkling wine by adding something to it like liqueur or a strawberry in the glass, make sure it’s a value sparkler. A nice bottle of champagne should be enjoyed on its own, in a proper glass and with the right person. n
“A nice bottle of champagne should be enjoyed on its own, in a proper glass and with the right person.”
$3 U-CALL-ITS! FEB 2nd • LAHINA’S BEACH HOUSE FEB 9th • OPEN BAR FEB 16th • PB ALE HOUSE FEB 23rd • BAR NINETY STARTS AT 9PM
VOTED BEST FISH TACO IN PB @ BEACH FEST 2009
BEST VIEW IN PB • EPIC SUNSETS ALL SPORTS PACKAGES • NEVER A COVER 20 DRAFTS • 2 FULL BARS • GREAT SERVICE KILLER FOOD • MONSTER BURGERS KITCHEN TIL 10PM 4343 OCEAN BOULEVARD • PACIFIC BEACH • 858.272.SURF PBSHORECLUB.COM • MYSPACE.COM�PBSHORECLUB FRIEND US ON FACEBOOK!
{groove}
event
M
A
G
A
Z
I
N
bartender
music
E
THE LOVE PARTY Presents
You’re invited. No cover charge. In celebration of you, dear reader, PacificSD is proud to announce our third anniversary extravaganza at Vin de Syrah in the Gaslamp.
ENTERTAINMENT The Neverout
Sultry jazz & blues trio featuring Nena Anderson
DJ JOEY JIMENEZ
Spinning live w/ sax hero, Jason Whitmore Sexy go-go/burlesque revue by the scorching sirens of Lipstik, Inc.
HELPING TO SPREAD THE LOVE Cookie “Chainsaw” Randolph
PacificSD golden boy from the Dave, Shelly & Chainsaw show
Geena the Latina Co-star of Star 94.1’s AJ in the Morning
Entertainment Reporter, San Diego 6 News in the Morning
PacificSD’s LOVE PARTY
Thursday, February 18 Vin de Syrah, 901 Fifth Avenue, Gaslamp 42
pacificsandiego.com | FEBRUARY 2010
Love Our Advertisers (private, hosted bar): 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. Love Party for PacificSD readers: 9 p.m. to close
•$3 Valen ti & more lo nis ve drink spec ly ials •Blind Da te sign-up s •Fabulou s •PacificS prizes Dc models on over -site
P h o t o b y G av i n E s t e s
Ruben Galvan
VOTED “BEST BURGER JOINT” IN SAN DIEGO! 2006, 2007, 2008 , 2009
Tuesday Night:
Free Burger
(with purchase of any beer)
+
Saturday & Sunday
2 for 1 Select Drafts, Munchies & Burgers (Gaslamp location only)
= Balanced Diet
(100% organic beef)
GASLAMP: 624 E STREET (BETWEEN 6th & 7th ON E), 619.237.9990 PACIFIC BEACH: 640 MISSION BLVD. (2 BLKS N OF GARNET) 858.274.7117
{groove}
event
bartender
music
Hair of the Dog MEET MAN’S NEW BEST FRIEND
By EDWIN DECKER | PHOTO BY JANELLE MAAS
A
s the daughter of an Air Force weapons technician, Kristyne Carey spent much of her youth in geographical upheaval. Starting with her birth in Howell, Michigan, she has lived in Sacramento, California; Reykjavik, Iceland; Goldsboro, North Carolina; Bitburg, Germany; and Tucson, Arizona, to name a few. In 2000, she moved to San Diego and secured her first bartending job at the Gaslamp Hooters (if you can call that “bartending,” since a gig at Hooters largely consists of dumping beer into a pitcher and rejecting the advances of barley-emboldened men driven to desperation by hot women in tight orange Dolphin shorts). After Hooters, she worked at Moose McGillycuddy’s, ‘Canes Bar & Grill, Johnny V, East Village Tavern and Bowl, La Puerta and Cabo Cantina, where she is currently employed. Carey also owns a dog-walking business called Walk N Roll Doggie (walknrolldoggie.com). “When I’m not bartending, I am following dogs around, picking up poop,” she tells me. “Business is good and hopefully soon it will expand. However, I think I will always bartend on the side, for my sanity. I don’t think I will be normal if I just talk to dogs all day.” What makes a good bartender? “Well, I don’t believe that there is a guideline,” Carey explains, “because different personalities are what bring people back. You don’t even have to be super-nice, as long as you’re doing something to keep people at the bar. One thing’s for sure—if you’re not a hard worker, or slow, you will be hated by your fellow workers. So, mush, bartender, mush!” What’s the most embarrassing incident that happened to you behind the bar? “I was bartending for a loud, busy show at ‘Canes, and a group of four walked up. The main guy mouthed what he wanted, so I said, ‘Hey man, I don’t read lips, what do you want to drink?’ Again, he mouthed his order. I said, ‘Listen, tell me what you want or I’m going to move on!’ His friends eventually clued me in on why he wasn’t speaking. He was deaf! I felt like such a jerk.” Do you have any hobbies or special skills? “Well, I fall everyday. I don’t know if that is a skill, but I have mastered it pretty well. I also like to paint, but I am not very good. I grew up playing sports and even got scholarships for soccer and swimming. I am very artistic and creative, a great thinker. I may act clueless, but that is so that people don’t expect too much from me.” n
44
pacificsandiego.com | FEBRUARY 2010
Biggest tip: $500 Celebrity encounter: “Jack Osbourne sat at my bar and tried to order booze. I didn’t know who he was, but I laughed in his face and said, ‘Who do you think you are? You look 10 years old!’” Most hated drink to make: “Please don’t ask for a Mojito. I will give you a very weird look and probably not get to you that quick on your next order.” Most annoying customer: “The person who asks, ‘What’s the cheapest thing at this bar?’ Well, buddy...you are.” What do you want to be when you grow up?: “Married—to a rich, rich man.”
DAILY SPECIALS
Busch Pints: $2.50 * Busch Pitchers: $8.50 * Shots: $4.00
Jagermeister, Rumple Minze, Tuaca, Goldschlager
Did your bank Chase you away?
all day everyday: Beer of the Month Widmer Hefeweizen $3.50 Pints & $13 Pitchers
Beach House
On the beach at 710 Oliver ave.
*
858.270.3888
*
open 9am-9pm
*
7 days
San Diego's finest selection of lingerie, lotions, lubes, adult toys & erotic gifts!
It’s time to change to a locally owned bank who cares about you. Yes, we offer... 3 Checking 3 Savings 3 Online Bill Pay 3 Mobile Banking 3 Friendly Service-with us you’re a person, not a number No, you will not... 3 Have frustrating automated phone systems 3 Wait in long lines
Your Hometown Bank homebankofcalifornia.com
1155 Garnet Ave, Pacific Beach | drloves.com | 858.270.7861
875 Garnet Avenue, Pacific Beach • 858.270.5881 600 Mission Avenue, Oceanside • 760.722.1711
{groove}
event
bartender
music
Then, Again TRIBUTE BANDS HELP ROCK FANS TURN BACK THE CLOCK
Led Zepagain live in concert
By MICHAEL HEMMINGSON
I
n the movie Rock Star, Mark Wahlberg plays a guy who lives his ultimate dream—he goes from singer in a tribute band to singer of the famous band, Steel Dragon. Overnight: nowhere man to rock god. We’ve all had similar fantasies, right? The 21st Century has given birth to a curiosity in pop culture: the tribute band. Not a cover band, which plays hit songs from different decades and bands, but an act that “pays tribute” to icons of music through imitation of sound, style and fashion. David Moye, publicist for Anthology, a downtown venue that features many tribute bands, says, “Tribute bands allow folks to celebrate a band they love…and give you the experience of hearing the music of your favorite band in a setting that might be similar to their early salad days.”
Atomic Punks Tribute to: Van Halen These hard-partying guys only play earlyera Van Halen from the David Lee Roth days. An off-shoot act, 5150, plays later Van Halen with Sammy Haggar as front man. theatomicpunks.com Wild Child Tribute to: The Doors One of the oldest Doors tribute bands, they play San Diego once or twice a month, often at Anthology in Little Italy. wildchild.mu
Electric Waste Band Tribute to: The Grateful Dead Winston’s house tribute band performs weekly Monday night shows that pack the Ocean Beach venue. electricwasteband.com The Cured Tribute to: The Cure The act captures the playful goth days of the early 1980s with the hair-dos, clothes and vintage guitars. thecured.net Led Zepagain Tribute to: Led Zeppelin One of the best Zeppelin tribute bands around, they come to San Diego at least once a month. February show: Romano’s Concert Lounge in Riverside. zepagain.com Stepping Feet Tribute to: The Dave Matthews Band This local act dubs itself the “Dave Matthews Experience,” with violin solos and smooth saxophone licks. Often seen at Athology. steppingfeet.com
46
pacificsandiego.com | FEBRUARY 2010
Tribute bands are in hot demand, too—at clubs like the Belly Up Tavern in Solana Beach and bars like Winstons in Ocean Beach, corporate and private parties and even weddings. Singer Michael (Zippy) Twombly, who plays Robert Smith in The Cured, also wrangles the website Music Zirconia (musiczirconia.com) that lists, promotes and books tribute acts of all kinds in San Diego. “We have 65 tribute bands on our roster,” claims Twombly. So—never had a chance to see the bands you love? Born too late to see Jimi Hendrix or the Grateful Dead perform live? Too young to have gone to Depeche Mode or The Cure when they were in town? Tribute bands offer music fans a second chance. Here are just some of the tribute bands that are based in San Diego or will be playing here in the coming months. n
American icon, so there are plenty of tribute bands to the Boss. Thunder Road is San Diego’s. thunderroadsandiego.com
Cash’d Out Tribute to: Johnny Cash San Diego’s homegrown Johnny Cash tribute act, these guys have the costumes and the chops down to a science. Often seen at the Belly Up Tavern. cashdout.com The Screamin’ Primas Tribute to: Louis Prima Pays Vegas-style tribute to the man who composed Just a Gigolo and other hip hits of a bygone era. Thunder Road Tribute to: Bruce Springsteen Springsteen was just inducted into the Kennedy Center and is an
Rockola Tribute to: The Beatles While Rockola is known to cover 1960s-70s rock, they have a separate show that plays tribute to the Beatles’ Abbey Road Live. Seen several times a month at different venues, such as Spreckles Theatre and The Birch in North Park. rockola.com Lipstick ’n’ Leather Tribute to: Glam Rock More than a mere cover band, Lipstick ‘n’ Leather pays tribute to a style and era: 1970s-80s glam rock with the wild hair, glitter and tight leather pants. “We do the best songs that make the young girls cry,” says bass player Tommy 2 Tuff, “and make the older ladies throw up their bras.” lipsticknleatherband.com
don’t wear a sweater to the beach
{ we can help }
Laser Hair
Call today to learn about February specials
REMOVAL { and }
Laser
Tattoo
REMOVAL
{ see amazing before & afte
r photos online
}
Juve’derm • Botox • Radiesse New LATISSE Eyelash Growth Treatment New THERMAGE Cellulite Reduction
www.laseraway.net Carlsbad: 760.929.9944 / Hillcrest: 619.295.2929
SATISFY YOUR LATE-NIGHT CRAVINGS $3 U Call Its ( 10 PM - C L)
Patio & Roof top Deck Now Open Ti l (2 AM ) Handcrafted beer & delicious food make PB AleHouse the perfect stop, whether your evening is ending...or just beginning.
721 Grand Ave. • San Diego, CA 92109 Phone: 858.581.BEER (2337) • www.pbalehouse.com
{groove}
win-win
Just Say Uncle
ECONOMY GOT YOU DOWN? LET PacificSD PICK YOU UP Ever wish you had a generous relative with money to burn? Your dream just came true...
From now on, please think of PacificSD as your rich uncle (who has a really good body, despite his age). In celebration of our love for you, dear reader, we would like to adopt you as our niece or nephew. Need 50 bucks? No problem. Wanna spend the loot on fun? No problem. Want it every day? No problem…Uncle’s got your back. PacificSD’s $20,000 Everyday Giveaway began New Year’s Day. By the end of January, we will have given away more than $2,200 worth of goodies, including 31 $50 gift certificates to some of San Diego’s favorite bars and restaurants, a $110 Visa gift card, four Kodak printers and countless hugs and good wishes. And all that adds up to the prize booty for just one month. Long story short, Uncle has a big booty. The giving and receiving continue in February with at least 28 more chances for you to win. Helping Uncle foot the bill for the next set of $50 daily giveaways are:
Winning is simple. Just go to facebook.com/pacificsd and play along. One day, the most embarrassing photo will win. The next day, the prize might go to the funniest joke, ugliest pet or worst boss story. It’s pretty simple stuff, and with the giveaways happening every day, your chances of winning are very high… higher than your chances of actually finding that long-lost rich uncle. Who loves ya? PacificSD, the magazine that loves you back.
Love is Blind... sign up for a blind date Don’t just read your favorite magazine of all time, be the magazine. Insert yourself into an upcoming Blind Date story and you might just find yourself sharing an exciting adventure and romantic dinner with another sexy San Diegan. You might even land yourself a reasonably attractive husband—it worked for Suzannah last year (see Taking the Cake, October 2009, archives at pacificsandiego.com). Throw your hat in the ring and caution to the wind: give yourself the best chance for happiness and fame by emailing a photo of yourself and a couple sentences about who you are and what you’re looking for in a date to: blinddate@pacificsandiego.com. 48
pacificsandiego.com | FEBRUARY 2010
Thank you to January’s generous prize sponsors!
FIREHOUSE + AMERICAN EATERY
LOUNGE
Your one-stop, no-hassle, kickass, on-time, professional, helpful, friendly hometown printer
{ a division of }
{ you save }
BUSINESS CARDS / VIP CARDS*
500: $69 2,500: $89 5,000: $109
1/4-PAGE FLYERS / CLUB FLYERS*
1,000: $99 2,500: $159 5,000: $189
*14 pt. card stock, glossy coating, full color both sides, tax & delivery included (all offers expire 3.15.10)
Expert, affordable graphic design services available We also design and print: Logos * Signs * Menus Business Cards * Table Tents T-shirts * Posters * Brochures
Call 619.296.6300 or visit us online to place an order or request a quote today
{love} blind date
Making Love A MAGAZINE’S ATTEMPT TO FORMULATE ROMANCE PHOTOS By JANELLE MAAS
C
hocolate and roses do not guarantee romance, so we knew we had to up the ante for this Love Issue blind date. To fashion passion, we decided to have the daters meet… and then immediately disrobe. Tonight’s blind date adventure begins with a couple’s massage at Spa Gregorie’s in Del Mar, followed by an oceanfront, candlelit dinner atop Sbicca Del Mar. If this isn’t the formula for romance, we’re throwing in the towel (and wearing nothing underneath). Before Emily and Chris arrive, let’s review their pre-date interviews. Where are you from? EMILY: I grew up in Kentucky, then moved to New York, where I lived for six years while finishing school and starting my career. I moved to San Diego about a year after; I couldn’t take the cold for another winter. CHRIS: I’m a NorCal transplant from the South Bay—Gilroy. What do you do for a living? EMILY: I’m a former computer geek (programmer) turned insurance agent. Talking to people, working for myself and making my own schedule is much more fun than sitting behind a screen for eight hours a day. CHRIS: Vice President of Sales for a hedge fund broker-dealer in Del Mar. Describe your personality in seven words. EMILY: Sweet, goofy, confident, charming, animated, ambitious, determined. CHRIS: Affable, entertaining, always down for good time. What are you looking for in a date? EMILY: Really, just to have a good time and get to know someone new. Sometimes it’s just as good to find a new friend from a date than to find a love interest.
CHRIS: Someone who is a lot like me—easygoing and can hold a conversation. Nothing worse than having to be the one doing all the talking. Rate yourself physically on a scale from 1 to 10. EMILY: Hmm, I’m going to say a nine. There’s plenty I can improve upon, but I wasn’t exactly hit with the ugly stick either. CHRIS: Eight, because anything higher might come off cocky. What’s your favorite thing about yourself? EMILY: That if decide I want to do something, I don’t let anything stop me from doing it. CHRIS: Definitely my height; I’m told there’s not enough 6’4” guys in San Diego. What do you hope will happen tonight? EMILY: Never having had a massage, I’m hoping I can make it through it without looking like someone having a seizure—I’m ticklish. And I hope the date is fun and not awkward. CHRIS: I’m really not sure what to expect, I just hope that we have a good time together and some
laughs. I’m really looking forward to the massage. What do you hope your date will look like? EMILY: Tall! I have a thing for tall, football-playerbuild guys. And manly. Me likes manly men. CHRIS: Hopefully someone I’m attracted to. I have a very specific type, although that type has been evolving as of late. I normally go for taller girls, 5’8” to 6’, model types. Emily and Chris meet for the first time at Spa Gregorie’s, where they slip into something more comfortable. (Continued on Page 52)
50
pacificsandiego.com | FEBRUARY 2010
‘
Rock n Roll
os n a i P g n i l Due
COME BY FOR A
NOONER.
Voted San Diego’s enue BEST Live Music V
THE NOONER FEBRUARY SPECIAL • NOON-1PM EVERYDAY
NATTY LIGHT DRAFT & A BURGER $4 natty light pitchers* $7 premium pitchers* *limit 2 per table
$5
SUN, TUE, WED, THUR
Open at 7pm, Pianos at 8pm
FRI, SAT
Open at 6pm, Pianos at 6:30pm
NO COVER SUN-WED
YOU MAKE ME WANNA....
(858) 488-9484 • 3704 MISSION BLVD WWW.BOARDWALKMISSIONBEACH.COM check our website for more info JUST OFF THE BEACH AT TOWER 19
655 4th Ave, WWW.THESHOUTHOUSE.COM
{love} blind date
The Naked Truth the blind daters lie down together for the first time
A
fter getting acquainted and enjoying some champagne (actually, “bubbly,” see Bubble Yum, Page 40) for about half an hour, Chris and Emily are ready for action. Donning nothing but robes, they head to Spa Gregorie’s couple’s sanctuary, where dim lighting and serene melodies set the mood. Lying naked next to each other, the daters barely talk during their one-hour massage. Will their first shared sensual experience lead to a second? Let’s find out…
How’s it going so far? EMILY: It’s going good. It’s interesting. Went in, had champagne, got naked, had a massage. I never got naked right off the bat before. CHRIS: Going well. It’s obviously a great first date. A little unique in terms of going and having a couple’s massage when you first meet someone, but she seems real cool, easy to talk to.
Spa Gregorie’s, 2710 Via de la Valle, Del Mar, 858.481.6672, spagregories.com
CHRIS: I’ll rate her on my buddy’s system: 1 to 20. I’d give her a 16. And for personality? EMILY: I would give him a six or a seven, but I think he’s a little nervous right now. I think it can get a little better. CHRIS: I’d give her an eight.
How was the massage? EMILY: It was good. I never had a massage, so it was very relaxing. It would have been more relaxing if I was by myself—it was quiet the whole time other than the mood music. It was a little awkward. CHRIS: I get massages pretty regularly, so it was nice. It was Emily’s first time. The masseuses were great. Is this the kind of person you would normally date? EMILY: Yes and no—very tall, which is what I like, but I think he’s younger than me. I would typically go for someone that has a little more of a mature vibe, but I’m liking him more and more as we continue hanging out. He has a youthfulness to him, which is good, but he’s a little bit of a partier. I’ve had some bad experiences with partiers lately. CHRIS: I usually date girls a little younger; I’ve also dated older. I wouldn’t necessarily approach her at a bar. 52
What’s the best way the date could end? EMILY: Dinner, a few drinks, hang out and laugh a lot. We’ve been laughing quite a bit. CHRIS: Dessert.
Do you have a lot in common? EMILY: I think so. We work in sort of the same industry and we seem to be hitting it off well. CHRIS: We have enough to talk about—she has a dog; my roommate has a dog. I don’t really know if we have stuff in common. Rate your date from 1 to 10 for physical appearance. EMILY: That was the question I was dreading. With the height and the build—definitely my type. I would give him an eight.
Does your date want to kiss you right now? EMILY: Yeah, probably. CHRIS: You have to ask her. Do you want to kiss your date? EMILY: I don’t know. We have to see. CHRIS: A true gentleman does not kiss and tell. What if he/she tried to kiss you? EMILY: I’d kiss him back. CHRIS: I’d give her a hug. Will this prove to be a hot date? Too early to call. Let’s see if things heat up over dinner at Sbicca Del Mar. (Continued on Page 54)
pacificsandiego.com | FEBRUARY 2010
{love} blind date
Lights, Camera... Action? THE CHANCE FOR ROMANCE IS STILL UP IN THE AIR
A
fter a short drive to the coast, Emily and Chris are seated for a wouldbe romantic dinner on the roof-deck at Sbicca Del Mar. With a candle flickering on the table and waves crashing in the background, the couple is finally left alone for the remainder of the evening. PacificSD calls the next day to see what we missed.
Overall, how was the date? EMILY: It was fun. The massage was great, but it was a little awkward. I think it would have been better by myself, so I could have actually relaxed. The dinner was really nice. CHRIS: As far as blind dates go, I think it went really well. How was Sbicca? EMILY: Great. We had the best table in the house. We started with ahi tuna and avocado tartare, then I had the filet for my entree. The bottle of Zinfandel that we shared was good, too. CHRIS: It was awesome. We started off with a few cocktails and ordered a nice bottle of Old Vine Zin from Sonoma Valley. I had the sea bass; it was delicious. Emily’s filet was good, too. I’m already looking forward to going back. Describe your date’s sense of style. EMILY: Chris’ style is appropriate for his age; it’s a little young for me. I didn’t dig the faux-hawk
hair thingy. CHRIS: She seems to be pretty casual. What happened after the magazine crew left? EMILY: We finished dinner then headed over to Wine Steals in Cardiff to meet up with a girlfriend of mine. We had a bottle of wine, and then Chris left to go to a party or something. CHRIS: We hung out and had dessert, and then drove up to meet her friends in Cardiff for a drink. Was there a kiss or romantic moment? EMILY: Nope, nothing really romantic. CHRIS: A true gentleman does not kiss and tell. What dating advice would you give your date? EMILY: I think Chris just needs a date that’s more age appropriate. I tend to go for older guys that are looking to start to settle down and don’t need to be out partying every Friday and Saturday night. CHRIS: I thought the date went really well; nothing to change per se, just no real chemistry. What two things
would you change about your date to make him/her more compatible with you? EMILY: I’d add about 10 years to his age and about 20 pounds to his weight. CHRIS: Someone who’s a little younger than me and who has friends in common. Will there be a second date? EMILY: No. I’m still single for all you tall, football-player-build guys who are over 30. CHRIS: All signs point to no.
Aftermatch Despite our best efforts, PacificSD failed to ignite a burning desire last night. Was it because Emily doesn’t dig faux-hawks? Was it that she only scored a 16 out of 20 on Chris’ buddy’s scale? We may never know, but one thing is for sure… Making love is harder than it looks.
Celebrity observations “How do you wear a robe and not get action?”—Hugh Hefner “He’s not too young for me.”—Samantha Jones “Well, there’s your problem…romance happens under the table.”—Bill Clinton “I guess, even in Del Mar, the surf doesn’t always meet the turf.”—Bing Crosby “I pity the fool who don’t love a Mohawk!”—Mr. T
Sbicca Del Mar, 215 15th Street, Del Mar, 858.481.1001, sbiccabistro.com 54
pacificsandiego.com | FEBRUARY 2010
events Joel McHale The star of VH1’s The Soup and co-star of NBC’s Community, Joel McHale performs live stand-up comedy at Pechanga February 6. A second show was added after the first sold out. pechanga.com
C o u rt e s y o f P e c h a n g a R e s o rt a n d C a s i n o
FEBRUARY 2010 | pacificsandiego.com
55
Submit events to calendar@pacificsandiego.com. Compiled by Logan Broyles
{Listen}
{Home Games} Aztecs Men’s Basketball: 2/2 vs. Air Force at Viejas Arena 2/10 vs. Wyoming at Viejas Arena 2/13 vs. UNLV at Viejas Arena 2/20 vs. Utah at Viejas Arena
San Diego Sockers: 2/26 vs. Revolución Tijuana at the Del Mar Arena 2/27 vs. Edmonton Drillers at the Del Mar Arena
2/1-2/28: Museum Month Venue: Museums countywide Tickets: Half price Info: sandiegomuseumcouncil.org Pick up a Museum Month Pass at Macy’s to receive half-priced admission to 39 San Diego County museums, ranging from fine art in Balboa Park to the Flying Leatherneck Aviation Museum by Miramar.
Reuben H. Fleet Science Center
2/5: Badfish: A Tribute to Sublime/House of Blues, hob.com 2/6: Joel McHale (host of E!’s The Soup)/Pechanga, pechanga.com (stand-up comedy) 2/6: Bob Marley Day (multi-band reggae concert)/World Beat Center, worldbeatcenter.org 2/11: Sound Tribe Sector 9/House of Blues, hob.com 2/12: G. Love & Special Sauce w/ Red Eye Empire/House of Blues, hob.com 2/12: Old School Valentine’s Show w/ Percy Sledge and many others/Viejas Arena, magic925.com 2/12: DJ Skeet Skeet/Stingaree, stingsandiego.com 2/14: Bill Cosby/Harrah’s Rincon, harrahsrincon.com (stand-up comedy) 2/15: Tribute to Reggae Legends, w/ Barrington Levy & Tribal Seeds/Sports Arena, sandiegoarena.com 2/20: The Expendables w/ Iration/House of Blues, hob.com 2/25: Dashboard Confessional/House of Blues, hob.com 2/26: Johnny Cash Birthday w/ Cash’d Out/Belly Up Tavern, bellyup.com 2/27: The B-52s/Pechanga, pechanga.com
2/1-5/31: The Greatest Places Venue: Reuben H. Fleet Science Center, Balboa Park Tickets: $14.50 Adults, $11.75 Children Info: rhfleet.org Let IMAX transport you from the deepest oceans to the highest mountain peaks as you witness seven of the planet’s most astonishing landscapes without leaving your seat.
2/2, 2/5, 2/7: La Bohème Venue: San Diego Civic Theatre, downtown Tickets: $35-$210 Info: sdcivic.org Experience the intensity of a 19th-Century Parisian romance as a bohemian poet and French seamstress struggle through love and life in Puccini’s famous opera.
S a n D i e g o N at u r a l H i s t o ry M u s e u m
56
pacificsandiego.com | FEBRUARY 2010
San Diego Opera
Through 2/28: Darwin: Evolution/Revolution Venue: San Diego Natural History Museum, Balboa Park Admission: $16 Adults, $10 Children Info: sdnhm.org Walk upright through fossil and taxidermy exhibits as you explore the life and work of Charles Darwin, whose theory of natural selection set the stage for modern science.
2/3-4: ASR Venue: San Diego Convention Center Admission: Difficult (but not impossible) for public Info: asrbiz.com The industry’s premier buying event, the semi-annual Action Sports Retail show returns to the Convention Center. If you want in but don’t own a surf shop, befriend someone that does or just look for any of the brandsponsored after-parties held at venues around town.
M o s c o w F e s t i va l B a l l e t
2/6: Monster Energy Supercross Venue: Qualcomm Stadium Tickets: $10-$35 Info: supercrossonline.com Watch daredevil motorcycle racers compete for speed, airtime and adrenaline.
2/14: Valentine’s Day Stoplight Party Venue: The Shout! House, downtown Admission: Free Info: theshouthouse.com Singles, Undecideds and Takens alike are invited to be serenaded by the talented dueling piano players at The Shout! House’s annual Stoplight Party, where a green light might score you a date, and a red light says Stop, Hands Off (at least while your partner is watching).
2/14: 42nd Annual San Dieguito Half Marathon Venue: San Dieguito County Park, Rancho Santa Fe Admission: $35-$50 to compete, free to cheer Info: kathyloperevents.com Follow a scenic course through historic Rancho Santa Fe as you complete a half marathon or 5k walk/run in support of the San Diego County Parks Committee.
E n n e B i C o mm u n i c at i o n s
Monster Energy Drinks
2/5: Moscow Festival Ballet: Swan Lake Venue: Balboa Theatre, Downtown Tickets: $39-$69 Info: sdcivic.org Follow the magical story of a princess cursed to live as a swan by day and a maiden by night in this timeless ballet set to Tchaikovsky’s masterful score.
2/13: 18th Annual San Diego Brazil Carnival Venue: 4th & B Tickets: $26-$75 Info: brazilcarnival.com Absorb the hedonistic spirit of South America as electrifying Brazilian Samba music sets the stage for impassioned dance performances and Capoeira acrobatics.
2/16: Gaslamp Mardi Gras Venue: Gaslamp District Tickets: $15 Info: gaslamp.org Celebrate Fat Tuesday with throngs of revelers in the streets of Downtown. The annual Gaslamp Mardi Gras features two parades, magic acts and cirque-esque street performers, seven stages, 10 DJs and rockin’ live bands. (Boobs-for-beads exchanges frowned upon—depending upon whom you ask, of course.)
Admis
H a r l e m G l o b e t r o t t e r s I n t e r n at i o n a l , I n c .
s
ion: No 2/18: PacificSD’s Love Party for Pa cover c ifi Venue: Vin de Syrah, Gaslamp lovers cSD Info: Details Page 43 Come help celebrate the three-year anniversary of PacificSD, the magazine that loves you back. The evening’s fusion of sights and sounds includes a sultry jazz trio, DJ Joey Jimenez spinning live with sax superhero Jason Whitmore, and a scorching performance from the mesmerizing dancers of Lipstik, Inc.
2/12: Harlem Globetrotters 2010 World Tour Venue: San Diego Sports Arena Tickets: $24.50-$149.50 Info: harlemglobetrotters.com, sandiegoarena.com Have a slam-dunking good time, as the always-entertaining Harlem Globetrotters dribble into San Diego.
2/20: “Tritonman” Triathlon Venue: Fiesta Island, Mission Bay Admission: $40-$60 to participate, free to cheer Info: tritonman.com If you’re 1/10th as tough as an Ironman, this is the race for you. Swim 750 meters, bike a 20K course, then run a 5K. Each leg of UCSD’s fourth annual Tritonman is 1/10th the length of the standard Ironman competition. FEBRUARY 2010 | pacificsandiego.com
57
{think}
D L E I F E L T T A B SA
LOVE I
give yourself a fighting chance By ALEX MACK Love is not a box of chocolates or a bouquet of roses. It is a formidable beast that must be verbally dirty-bombed into submission. According to your location and gender, select the appropriate ammunition from the list below. With these weapons-grade pickup lines in your arsenal, the fight against loneliness is already won. Pacific Beach His: We should go tanning sometime. Hers: Hey, I used to date your roommate. Ocean Beach His: I have a job. Hers: I’m looking for a Bohemian type who enjoys music and beer. North Park His: Nice pants, mind if I borrow them? Hers: Nice pants, mind if I borrow them? Hillcrest His: Hi. Hers: Wanna go to Home Depot? SDSU His: Are you drunk? Hers: I’m drunk. Downtown His: That sequin dress makes your highlights look so natural. Hers: I can’t find parking, can I just stay at your place? Little Italy His: I can make you scream louder than that airplane. Hers: I really like your Vespa. Mission Beach His: The Giant Dipper roller coaster isn’t the only thrill ride around here. Hers: Does your skateboard have room for two?
(For use by Tiger Woods only) Bankers Hill His: Of all the doctor’s offices, in all the towns, of all the world, you walked into mine. Hers: Would you like to Balboa my park? Coronado His: My little blue pills came in the mail today. Hers: I just got a new hip. Del Mar His: Excuse me, ma’am, are you looking for a pool boy? Hers: My kids are at their dad’s.
• I’m known for sinking my putts in the hole. • Can you help me get a new grip on my shaft? • Meet me in the rough, somewhere between the first and second holes.
Become a fan of PacificSD on Facebook to win gift certificates to some of San Diego’s top restaurants and bars. Check us out at facebook.com/PacificSD and pacificsandiego.com.
58
pacificsandiego.com | FEBRUARY 2010
f