FEBRUARY 2014
Attitudinal Healing Helping People for 40 Years By J o h n & Va l B o w m a n
T
he most important thing a human can do, right up to his or her last breath, is to give love to other people. That was the message that Jerry Jampolsky, MD, shared with a group at Whistlestop recently. “We are really big fans of Whistlestop,” said Jerry’s wife Diane Cirincione-Jampolsky, PhD, who has visited with her husband. “We may even get more out of the experience than the people there do. What they do there is heartwarming. And they are such a great support for each other.” Trish Ellis, International Communications Coordinator for Attitudinal Healing International (AHI), said, “People there were wonderful. We were so impressed with how they supported each other. The opportunity to be at Whistlestop creates a sense of community for them, where they can be themselves
Death Cafe: There Will Be Cake 3
and be in their hearts with each other.” She and Jerry spoke to the Senior Circle at Whistlestop. Jampolsky has written 16 books since his first best seller, Love Is Letting Go of Fear, was published in 1979. He started Attitudinal Healing in 1975 in Tiburon and his wife joined him in 1981. They have been helping people heal their hearts and minds through the power of unconditional love and forgiveness as ways of getting rid of the blocks that many of us have that interfere with our experiencing love each day and passing our love on to others with no exclusions. “When you are in the consciousness of helping other people,” Jampolsky says, “an amazing energy occurs.” When asked about how to deal with end-of-life issues, Jerry says the greatest gift we can give to them is their own peace of mind, not a prescription for dying.
Learn Korean Drumming 7
Diane and Jerry Jampolsky “Sometimes, when people are dying, they concentrate on ‘What’s going to happen with me?’ Family and friends can make sure that their purpose is to give love to other people. The biggest gift we can give to them is their own peace of mind. What’s most important is the energy you bring into the room. Come into the room with peace and if they don’t want to talk about it, that’s continued on page 5
Love in Many Languages 12
Whistlestop perspective
Marin Senior Coordinating Council is Whistlestop
930 Tamalpais Avenue, San Rafael, CA 94901 www.whistlestop.org – to sign up to get this newsletter via email. For annual subscription mailed to your home, send $10 to Whistlestop. The Mission of Whistlestop: Whistlestop believes that we share a responsibility to ensure that all Marin residents have an opportunity to age with dignity, grace and independence.
Whistlestop Contact Information
Main office: 415-456-9062 Marin Access/Travel Navigators 415-454-0902 Meals on Wheels 415-457-4636 Help Desk 415-459-6700, resource@whistlestop.org
Whistlestop Staff
CEO, Joe O’Hehir Development and Marketing Director, Yvonne Roberts, info@whistlestop.org Whistlestop Express Editors, John and Val Bowman 916-751-9189, john.bowman58@gmail.com Program Manager, Vicky Voicehowsky 415-457-0586 Volunteer Manager, Laurie Vermont volunteer@whistlestop.org Board of Directors President, Michael Hingson Vice President, Lori Peterson Treasurer, Dennis Ryan Secretary, Robert Sonnenberg Etta Allen • Karen Arnold • Sharon Jackson Nancy Rhine • Terry Scussel • Lenice Smith Cynthia Wuthmann Pacific Sun Staff Advertising John Harper • 415-485-6700 jharper@pacificsun.com Art Director Jim Anderson • janderson@pacificsun.com Whistlestop Express is printed on recycled paper
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Whistlestop Express FEBRUARY 2014
B y J o e O ’ He h i r
C E O o f W h i s t l e s to p
I
Back to the Future
n 2014, Whistlestop begins its 60th year of service to the Marin community. While much of what we work on now focuses on the present and the future, it’s important to take time to reflect on the past. And, in the case of our participants, employees, and volunteers, it represents a “back-tothe-future” perspective. I recently took the time to read the Whistlestop newsletters that covered the organization’s 50th anniversary celebration. While some may feel that 10 years is a long period of time, it seems like yesterday for Whistlestop. You notice the same names of staff members and volunteers mentioned in the 2003-4 editions of the newsletter, many of whom are still working with the organization today. The programs, activities, and classes highlighted then are quite similar to the ones you see listed now in this newsletter. Several board members, donors, and civic organizations who generously support Whistlestop appear then and now. The most significant observation about the back-to-thefuture perspective is that older adults’ primary support needs in Marin have not changed over the course of the past 60 years. Transportation services, daily nutrition, and social connectivity within the community for older adults have remained at the top of the list. The only aspect that has changed is the
dramatic growth in the number of older adults needing these vital services. Whistlestop began its transportation services in 1968 with one vehicle and a volunteer driver. Now we have a fleet of over 55 vehicles providing more than 138,000 rides per year. Noontime meal programs began being served in 1972. Today the Jackson Café serves over 18,000 lunches annually. Our Active Aging Center opened its doors in 1971 as one of the first of its kind on the West Coast. Today the Center offers more than 3,000 opportunities to engage in social interaction. Whistlestop launched the Multicultural Program in 1993 with a small group of Vietnamese older adults. Today we have become the United Nations for older adults with social groups in their native languages of Spanish, German, Farsi, French and Russian. In the December 2003 edition of the Whistlestop Express, former Executive Director, Linda Compton, wrote, “We live in a community fashioned by those whose contributions precede us. They have built the structures and infrastructures of our modern world. Many of the older adults Whistlestop now serves are the very elders who have made possible that which we now daily utilize, depend upon and enjoy. They are the many who stretch the lines continued on page 3
Bringing Death Out of Silence By Va l B ow m a n
“W
elcome to Death Café” might sound morbid, but in more than 300 locations around the world, strangers and friends are coming together in homes and churches and theaters to talk about a subject that many of us avoid like the plague. Another common detail: cake will be served. That is a ritual started by the early organizers. The movement began in England and France two years ago to deal head-on with the taboo subject. People came together – funeral industry professionals, grief counselors, poets and people who had been touched by death. It spread to other countries and there are Cafés in Sebastopol, the Bay Area, Sacramento and now Marin. Catherine Abby Rich, 69, of Larkspur, an herbalist and co-vendor of the Marin County Farmers Market, and the members of her long-time book club decided it was time to change their focus to death. They heard of a Death Café happening in Sebastopol, attended and started one the following month in Marin. “It started with four friends in our own circle and the first event drew 60 people, by word of mouth alone. This was about cultivating conversations about facing our deaths, our decisions around end of life, exposing our fears and grieving the loss of others. Some people talked about their parents’ deaths, another about the suicide of a child.” Catherine Abby said that seven years ago she was standing at the threshold herself when she was diagnosed with fourth stage cancer. “I thought about my life and decided I wanted to continued from page 2
across our County, built the bases for the buildings within our cities and laid the cornerstones for our civic institutions.” As Whistlestop begins its 60th year of service to the community, let us remember all who have gone before us to make Marin’s abundant quality of life possible. Our oldest citizens have given us a wonderful gift. Let’s make sure that they can enjoy the fruits of their labor by giving back to them at their time of need. F
do everything to be here and I was lucky, I recovered.” During that process she was touched by the love and support that poured in. She felt she matured spiritually with the depth of selfreflection required for withstanding such an ordeal. A friend of Catherine Abby’s, Katy Butler of Mill Valley, has published Knocking on Heaven’s Door: The Path to a Better Way of Death, a memoir combined with investigative reporting based on an acclaimed New York Times magazine piece about her 79-year-old father. He had a stroke and doctors gave him a pacemaker that kept him alive despite six years of dementia and near-blindness. He told his wife, “I’m living too long.” Amazon’s review says, “It chronicles the rise of Slow Medicine, a new movement to reclaim the ‘Good Deaths’ our ancestors prized.” Death Café gatherings are not dark and depressing. They are as much about living life fully as they are about death. Catherine Abby says this is about walking toward our death in the most conscious way we can. If you would like to know more about future Death Café events, contact her at deathcafemarin@gmail.com. F FR seminaee Not to rs missedbe !
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whistlestop.org 3
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Whistlestop Express FEBRUARY 2014
1309216-ECA-AVSR-WhistleStop-1101-3.4479x4.5.indd 1
he next exhibit in the Community Art Exhibitions at Dominican University will be Mondays in Marin: Senior Sketchers from Thursday, Feb. 27 to Friday, Aug. 22. There will be a reception on the opening day from 5 to 7pm in the Joseph R. Fink Science Center on campus. Director Sandi Chin says, “The Community Art Exhibitions provide support for artists and engage members of the community. Thus a closer connection between the university and the community is cultivated. It is the rhythm of art and the underlying connections between works that have the power to provide a stimulating environment for our students, inspiring them to be creative individuals and socially responsible citizens who incorporate the Dominican values of study, reflection, community and service into their lives.” The sketch group has about 25 members and began in 1989 as a Sketching for Travelers class at College of Marin. Kenneth Morgan, who led the group for awhile, said their mission was “To do what we love to do, in places we love to be, with people we love to be with.” The group meets Monday mornings, 10am to Noon. There are no fees, no business meetings and no instruction. The group is open to artists of all levels. For more information: Phyllis Barry, 460-0266 or plbarry@sbc-global.net. F
10/14/13 11:35 AM
continued from page 1
okay. So often the most important things happen in the silent mode.” Diane says, “In my experience, our mother is 93 and has faced death three times. So, my brother and sister and I learned to talk about it – to plan ahead. We have monthly meetings talking about all of the issues including the memorial service, what will be in the newspaper, our feelings about it. Our mother’s wish is that we have peacefulness among us. We get together and thrash things out and come to a consensus. Then we share it with our mother. She wants harmony among us.” Diane notes that some people are in denial but we are all going to die. Harmony around the person who is passing is important. She adds, “For caregivers, it can be an opportunity to deal with their own fears so that they can then deal with the issues at hand. Everyone is so different. Respect each person’s wishes about how they want to handle the end of their life.” Trish says, “Attitudinal Healing offers a safe and trusting environment to explore those things that trouble them at the time of dying.” The Jampolskys, whose office is in Sausalito, continue to keep a breath-taking pace, traveling worldwide to do their work. How do they do it? “It doesn’t seem like work to us,” says Jampolsky, who turns 89 this month. Trish just returned from a trip to China to share Attitudinal Healing. She says that people there were very welcoming and have already established an Attitudinal Healing Center and several support groups. Attitudinal Healing defines true health as inner peace and healing as the letting go of fear. F The Center for Attitudinal HealingNorth Bay offers several support groups, including the Seniors’ Circle at Whistlestop on Wednesdays from 10 to 11:30 am. For more information about other Attitudinal Healing groups, call 457-1000.
Attitudinal Healing’s 40th Anniversary International Conference Sept. 19-21
A
ttitudinal Healing International’s 40th Anniversary International Conference is coming to San Francisco Sept. 19-21 at the historic Golden Gate Club in The Presidio. Jerry Jampolsky, MD, and his wife, Diane Cirincione-Jampolsky, PhD, will be among 25 conference speakers. Jerry will speak on “The Challenges of Self-Compassion” and Diane on “Am I Good Enough?” Other speakers include Gary Zukav, Lee Jampolsky, PhD, and Tom Pinkson, PhD. Register before Feb 28 and save $100 on the conference registration fee ($475 after Feb. 28). There will also be 21 pre-conference workshops Sept. 16-18. You may choose your favorites and pay a fee for each one. To find out more, including volunteer opportunities, go to: www.ahinternational.org, or simply Google: 2014 Conference – Attitudinal Healing International. F
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Whistlestop Express FEBRUARY 2014
Keep Learning at WHISTLESTOP
For a complete list of classes, visit whistlestop.org
UPCOMING SPECIAL EVENTS Asian New Year Celebration Tues, Feb 11 • 4-5:30pm Doors open at 4pm, Lion Dance starts at 4:30pm Cost: $10 Whistlestars members, $12 nonmembers Tickets can be purchased with cash or check in the Front Office. Registration required. Payment due at registration. Space is limited. Please join us in celebrating the Asian Lunar New Year, Year of the Horse! We will be serving an Asianthemed early dinner catered by Yet Wah, while enjoying a traditional Lion Dance. Don’t miss out on this event.
Valentine’s Day Luncheon- Jazz Duo Fri, Feb 14 • Noon-1pm Regular menu and pricing Jazz guitarist Michael LaMacchia and Whistlestop’s own Amanda Denny will perform a lunchtime set of love songs and jazz standards – come in for a great meal and enjoy some live music on this special day of love. Heart Health Presentation Wed, Feb 19 • 11am-Noon No cost Registration required: 456-9062 This is a free presentation about heart health. Participants will learn about the importance of heart health and seven steps to a healthier heart.
Classes Arts & Entertainment Acting Classes with Margie Belrose Tues • 3-4pm No cost Registration: 456-9062 Have you always wanted to try your talent at acting? Marin’s Women Hall of Famer and local icon Margie Belrose will be offering her expertise in drama and performing arts in this acting class. Korean Drumming for Beginners Tues • 3:30–4:30pm Starting February 18th No Cost Join us on this 10-week journey as we learn basic Korean drumming techniques and dance moves (slow and graceful, similar to Tai Chi), taught by Jong Lee and several Dominican University students. No experience required, but we do ask that you make the 10-week commitment if you sign up. The class will culminate with a performance at College of Marin’s Asian Heritage Day on May 3rd! Jewelry Class: Learn Basic Stringing Techniques Thurs, Feb 20 • 1:30-2:45pm Cost: $8 per class/includes materials Registration and payment required prior to class: 456-9062 Maria Barsesat, local bead artist, will show you how to make and finish basic stringing projects. Learn how to make knots in between beads for necklaces or bracelets. Class limited to 10 people.
Health & WELLNESS Ping Pong Fri, Feb 7 & 21 • 2-4pm No cost/Drop-in Join the Whistlestop Racketeers for Ping Pong. Good for your mind, spirit and body. We have two tables & a wonderful group of regulars who enjoy the benefits of the game. All levels are encouraged to play. whistlestop.org 7
Keep Learning at WHISTLESTOP
For a complete list of classes, visit whistlestop.org
*New Time* Whistlesizers with Tony Tues & Thurs • 9:30-10:30am No cost A warm and upbeat chair exercise class that uses breathing muscle exercises to improve posture and relieve pain, leg exercises to increase blood flow and provide knee protection. We shrug shoulders, make faces, laugh, shake our fingers and hands, slap the floor with our feet and raise our arms up and out. The upper body exercises expand our heart space and there are wedges for pain relief floor work. Language Whistlestop English Language Program Semester dates: Jan 27-May 7 Registration required Basic, Intermediate and Advanced English Mon & Wed • 2-3:30pm Fee: $15 for materials English Conversation Tues & Thurs • 2-3:15pm Fee: $15 for materials Imparare l’italiano! (Learn Italian!) Learn Italian with our new teacher Elizabeth Guagenti. Elizabeth has a Bachelor’s degree in Italian Language and Literature from UCLA. Beginning Italian Thurs • 1:30-2:30pm Fee: $18 per month Semester dates: Jan 9-May 29 Continuing Italian Tues & Thurs • 2:30-4pm $48 per month Semester dates: Jan 7-May 29 Registration required Spanish Club Fri • 1:30-3:30pm No cost Drop-ins welcome Do you want to practice your reading comprehension and conversational skills in Spanish? This class focuses on literature in Spanish from books to newspaper articles. Conversational Spanish knowledge preferred. 8
Whistlestop Express FEBRUARY 2014
SOCIAL GROUPS Persian Social Group Mon & Wed • 10:30am-2pm Contact: Mrs. Esmaili, 472-6020 A social group for Farsi speakers to gather for tea and cookies, conversation, and to share with each other daily life activities. This is a great way to make friends in the Marin Persian community. French Social Group Tues • 1-2pm Contact: Vicky, 457-0586 Come join the French Social Group on Tuesday afternoons and connect with other French speakers in the community. You don’t need to be fluent, just able to carry on a conversation. Conversation Group for 90-Year-Olds & Older 3rd Thursday every month • 1:30-3pm No cost Contact: Virginia Dziomba, 456-6647 Join this group for lively conversation. Only one rule: no discussing ailments! Mastery of Aging Class Tues • 1:30-3pm No cost Contact: Larry Berkelhammer, 453-9808 Learn new skills to master the various challenges associated with aging. Discover new ways to give your life meaning and purpose, and explore as a group how to best adapt to all the age-related changes and losses.
SERVICES Multicultural Consultation Services By appointment, 456-9062 Small fee may apply Whistlestop offers assistance to non-English speakers in Spanish, Russian and Vietnamese. We assist with applications for many social services (health, housing, federal assistance), translations and referrals. Contacts: Hispanic – Marta Villela Russian- Anna Ladyzhenskaya Vietnamese- Lieu Phan
Immigration Assistance Clinics Last Friday every month • 9-11:30am General consultation fee: $30 By appointment only; call Vicky, 457-0586 Whistlestop and Brazil Alliance are offering Immigration assistance consultations regarding Immigration Law and Reform, DACA (Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals) and citizenship and naturalization. Chiropractic Services Wed • 10:30am-Noon Cost: $2 Whistlestars members, $5 non-members Sign-ups will only be taken on the day chiropractic services are offered. For relief from neck pain, tension headaches and pains of every day stress and strains, visit Whistlestop to see chiropractic professional Dr. Brenda Lindstrom from Freedom Chiropractic. She will provide safe and gentle chiropractic adjustments. CalFresh Assistance The CalFresh Program, federally known as the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), can add to your food budget to put healthy and nutritious food on the table. The program issues monthly electronic benefits that can be used to buy most foods at many markets and food stores. Whistlestop offers assistance with the application process. To make an appointment, please call, 456-9062. Telephone Reassurance Program Live alone? Would you like someone to care about how you are doing? If you live by yourself and often feel isolated or you are looking for connection and peace of mind, this program is for you. Trained volunteers will call you three mornings a week to check on how you are doing. We now also offer this service in Spanish. To register for this free program; call Leslie Klor, 456-9062, ext. 132.
ANNOUNCEMENTS Are your Fridays open? Are you looking for ways to give back to your community? Whistlestop is currently looking for volunteer drivers for our Meals on Wheels program (Friday morning deliveries) as well as avid bridge players who’d like to come to Whistlestop on Friday afternoons and instruct a small group on the rules of the game. Please call Laurie at 456-9062 x117 or email Volunteer@whistlestop.org if interested.
TECHNOLOGY
Pre-registration and payment required. To register, 456-9062. See details of classes online. Gadget Guide Feb 6 • 10-Noon 15 people maximum Do you want an iPhone, tablet or computer? Come try one out. Managing Your Photos Fri, Feb 7 & 14 • 10am-Noon Cost: $48 • 8 people maximum iPad/iPhone Applications Tues, Feb 11 & 18 • 10am-Noon Cost: $48 • 8 people maximum (For Apple devices only) Using Android SmartPhones & Tablets Thurs, Feb 13 & 20 • 10am-Noon Cost: $48 • 8 people maximum Digital Scrapbooking Fri, Feb 21 & 28 • 10am-Noon Cost: $48 • 8 people maximum Computers Level 1 (Windows) Tue, Feb 25 & Mar 4 • 10-Noon Cost: $48 • 8 people maximum Digital Storytelling & Memoirs Tues, March 11 & 18 • 10am-Noon Cost: $48 • 8 people maximum Computer Tutor Wed • Noon-1pm (ongoing) (with advance appointment) Cost: $20/hour
Marin County Commission on Aging Thursday, Feb. 13 10 am – 12:30 pm Where: The Tamalpais in Greenbrae Topic: Housing Speaker: The Housing & Transportation Committee whistlestop.org 9
mondays
Whistlestop Weekly ACTIVITIES This Month at Whistlestop TIME CLASS INFO COST 9–NOON Relax Chair Massage Open $4/8min. 9:30–10:30AM Exercise Zumba Open $6/$8 Non Members 10–NOON Learn Computer Lab Open Free 10:30AM–1:30PM Language Persian Social Group 472-6020 Free 11:00–12:10PM Exercise Movement & Music 456-9062 Free 12:15–1:45PM Language German Social Group Open Free 1–2PM Language English Pronounciation Open $15 2–3:30PM Language ESL 456-9062 $15
9:30–10:30 AM
10:00–NOON
tuesdays
10:45–11:45AM 11:30AM–12:30PM Noon–3PM
1–2PM
1–3PM
1:30–3:30PM 2–3:15PM 2:30–4PM
3–4PM
3:30–4:30PM
10–11:30AM 10–12PM 10:30AM–1:30PM 10:30–11:30AM 10:30AM–12PM 1–2PM 2–3:30PM
fridays
thursdays
wednesdays
9–10:15AM
9:30–10:30AM
Exercise Tai Chi Qigong Support Seniors' Circle Learn Computer Lab Language Persian Social Group Support Corazón Latino Relax Chiropractor Language English Pronunciation Language ESL
Sugg. Donation $10 or less Open Free Open Free 472-6020 Free Open Free 456-9062 $2/$5 Non Members 456-9062 $15 456-9062 $15
Exercise Whistlesizers
Open $2 Open $4/8 mins. 11–NOON Exercise Zumba Open $6/$8 Non Members 1:30–2:30PM Language Beginning Italian 454-0998 $18/mo 2:30–4PM Language Continuing Italian 454-0998 $48/mo 2:45–3:45PM Exercise Balance Class Sugg. Donation $10 10AM–1PM Relax Chair Massage
Exercise Whistlesizers Open $2 Relax Mah Jongg Open Free Exercise Cardio Exercise Class Open Free Language French Class 457-0586 Free Relax Manicurist Appt. Needed Free Language French Social Group 457-0586 Free Language Learn Spanish Open Free Support Mastery of Aging Class 453-9808 Free Language English Conversation 456-9062 $15 Language Continuing Italian 454-0998 $48/mo Learn Acting Class 456-9062 Free Learn Korean Drumming 456-9062 Free
Support Brown Bag Pantry 456-9062 Free Support ACASA Peer Counseling Free 1:30–3:30PM Language Practice Spanish Open Free 2–4PM Learn Arts & Crafts w/Vicky Feb 14 & 28 $3 2–4PM Exercise Ping-Pong Feb 7 & 21 Free 3–4PM Exercise Yoga Open $3/$5 Non Members
11:00–NOON 1–3PM
For a complete list of all classes, visit whistlestop.org
The Caboose, Computer Lab, Board Room and Jackson Café are all located at Whistlestop’s Active Aging Center – 930 Tamalpais Ave., San Rafael. 10 Whistlestop Express FEBRUARY 2014
Jackson Café
Monday-Friday 11:30am-2pm Located in Whistlestop Active Aging Center • Open to the Public •
Lunch Menu WhistlestAR member (lowest price)/ Non-member over 60 / Under 60
Main Entrée $4.95/$5.95/$6.95 Sandwiches $4.25/$5.25/$6.25 Soup du Jour $1.95/$2.95/$2.95 bowl (yes two prices are the same)
Hamburger w/Fries $4.25/$5.25/$6.25 Garden/Caesar Salads $3.50-$4.50 Other Items Tuna Salad Side $1.25 Beverages $1.00 Desserts/Fruit $2.00 Cheese $0.50 Avocado $1.00
The Bird's Side OF MARIN
b y R ICHA R D P A V E K
Bird Landings
B
irds fly and airplanes fly, but there are vast differences in how they fly. Take landing for instance. An airplane usually approaches a landing in a fairly steep powered glide that flattens the nearer it gets to the earth until, finally, the wheels screech-screech in protest as they’re forced to roll down the unoccupied runway. Unless you’re in a helicopter, in which case you arrive above your destination and drop down vertically, pausing just above the earth before slowly settling down to touch it. Most water birds – Ducks, Geese and Pelicans, for example – fly in fast and water ski across the surface of the water in a long strung out splash, but other birds spread their wings and drop out of the sky somewhat like a sport parachutist. The Snowy Egret, shown here, demonstrates.
Sandhill Cranes, heavy lifters among birds, most often land in formations. Small groups of four to six Sandhills, great wings spread wide, circle the landing area – often already occupied by feeding birds – drifting lower and lower until, quickly raising their wings, they tumble out of the sky helter-skelter, to land right in the midst of their welcoming mates! Amazingly they almost never bump into those already on the ground. The earlier birds typically greet them by jumping up and down excitedly, before all settle down to feeding and muttering amongst themselves. As good an air show as humans put on, for sure. Every weekend I email a beautiful or interesting bird photo to a select list. Joining is free, just ask: SHENmaker@MSN.com ‘Till next time,
Richard
whistlestop.org 11
Multicultural News by Vicky Voicehowsky
I
The Language of Love
n how many languages can you say ‘I love you’? At Whistlestop, we have participants who can say those magical three words in five or more languages. In our Active Aging Center, there are more than 25 different nationalities represented with numerous languages and dialects that fill our hallways and classrooms. Language classes have always been a staple of Whistlestop’s Active Aging Center and over the past few years, we’ve seen participants really get involved in language learning. Currently, we offer Spanish, French, Italian, and English as a Second Language classes. When asked why she takes the Italian class, Dorothy Denko said, “It connects me to my grandparents, who were fluent and spoke to me in Italian. It brings back that warm feeling of childhood memories. I love coming to the Italian class because we laugh all the
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time while we learn, or re-learn, this beautiful language.” Another way our Whistlestop participants connect with their heritage, and with one another, is through our multicultural social groups. Persian, German, Spanish, French, Russian and Vietnamese groups meet here to connect and share. Corazón Latino, our Spanish group, has connected Hispanic older adults in Marin County for more than 20 years. After her retirement, Josefina Perez was not inspired to be active until she found Whistlestop. We connected Josefina to Corazón Latino/Pickleweed Nutrition Program, A.C.A.S.A (peer counseling for Hispanic older adults), and Mission Possible (an advocacy group for multicultural older adults). “I had no social life that I enjoyed. Whistlestop is my life now because here I found friends and activities that I love! I am a super busy person now,” said Josefina. No matter what language you speak or want to learn, Whistlestop can connect you to others who share that same desire of lifelong learning, human connection and love. Buon San Valentino, or as it’s better known, Happy Valentine’s Day!F
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whistlestop.org 13
Nona Knows Best
by mary ann maggiore
The Perfect Love Letter
Y
ou will leave many legacies to this world. Perhaps some money, real estate or other tangibles. But of all the things you will leave behind, your love has the greatest potential to guide the world that succeeds you. Few things are as delightful or as memorable as a love letter. The famous, oddly enough, have much to teach us about giving this time-honored gift. “My angel, my all, my very self –” Beethoven gushed to his favorite. Greeting the beloved warmly captures the sweetheart and makes their heart even sweeter toward you. Don’t hold back with your opening words and your task will be all the sweeter as you move through each paragraph. “Your portrait and the intoxicating evening which we spent yesterday have left my senses in turmoil.” Napoleon’s ardor is hardly dissipated HOURLY AND LIVE-IN
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the morning after when he writes to his wife, Josephine. Picturing a shared moment that is beautiful and memorable makes the letter more powerful. Looking ahead to a loving future can weave a cord of happy anticipation. Go ahead and use it as the French writer Flaubert did in planning his next tryst with his beloved: “I will cover you with love when next I see you, with caresses, with ecstasy.” Who could resist after such a promise? Confessing your fragility in the face of this awesome emotion encourages your beloved’s most passionate response. James Joyce wrote to his Nora confessing his weakness in the face of his love for her may have kept their relationship lively through terrible suffering. I hear nothing but your voice. I am like a fool hearing you call me ‘Dear.’ I offended two men today by leaving them coolly. I wanted to hear your voice, not theirs. Steering clear of gentle teasing is probably a good idea. You run the risk of insulting your beloved as may have happened with basketball player Michael Jordan and his college girlfriend: “I want you to know that my feeling for you has not changed yet. (joke) I am finally getting used to going with a girl much smaller than I.” A love letter can bring you love, mend a quarrel, extend a romance into forever. It can be inscribed on stationery, or in an email or on the back of a shopping list. Send one soon and watch your life bloom. F Mary Ann Maggiore consults with teens, young people & their families on building a happy, loving, successful life. You can reach her at maryannmaggiore@gmail.com, 577-6627.
Is Selling Your Home the Right Option?
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Movies Can Reduce Our Anxiety About Death By Va l B ow m a n
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San Rafael couple with many The Wizard shared interests has published their of Oz is the first, and she says, greatest movie probably last book. ever made. It’s called Death at the Movies: Hollywood’s Guide to the Hereafter. Lyn and Tom Davis Genelli are self-professed “movie nuts.” She is also a psychotherapist and Tom, 77, is a former filmmaker and retired psychologist. They think that films are a great way to look at life and death and to find peace with both. Lyn, 70, and co-founder of the Bay Area Institute for Integrative Body Psychotherapy, feels that The Wizard of Oz is the greatest movie ever made. “It tells you everything you need to know about life,” she says. “It’s a journey and it’s about parts of ourselves that we think are missing. The Scarecrow, the Tin Man and the Cowardly Lion all thought they were missing things, but they discovered their own completeness.” The couple thinks that certain movies can help us deal with our fear of death. It’s a Wonderful Life and Groundhog Day are two other films they recommend, movies they call “transit films.” Casablanca is a movie where people are converging while waiting to go to a better place.
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Lyn is also a Senior Volunteer with the Living/Dying Project. As Dale Borglum, founder of the Living/Dying Project puts it, “As long as we live with unresolved grief in our hearts, grief that has not been transformed into compassion, our lives are lived only partially and death comes too soon. We are all grieving until we no longer feel separate — separate from those we care about, separate from our own true selves, separate from God.” Death at the Movies is available on Amazon or through Quest Books. F ection Since
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90% of seniors prefer to remain at home as they age. Seniors At Home is the leading provider of senior care in the Bay Area. We help seniors live safer, healthier, more independent lives in their own homes.
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whistlestop.org 15
Whistlestop
E press Marin Senior Coordinating Council 930 Tamalpais Avenue San Rafael, CA 94901-3325 Whistlestop.org
Not All Home Care is Alike
Home Care Assistance is the only agency that offers three tiers of expert care which are always available to clients at no extra cost! Just take a look... Balanced Care is for those seniors who choose to age in their own homes. All caregivers receive training in the Balanced Care Method™, a program that promotes healthy mind, body and spirit for aging adults. Caregivers also receive culinary training! Cognitive Therapeutics is provided to help delay memory problems. We use specially trained caregivers to administer an active set of cognitive activities to help keep our aging clients mentally sharp and engaged. Hospital to Home Care is for those seniors who need help after a medical incident. We are the experts on a smooth recovery at home, having written the popular book From Hospital to Home Care. One last thing... Other home care agencies require strict contracts and add on special charges. There could be hidden mealtime rates, transportation charges, an overnight rate or even a bathing rate. We have no contracts or obligations! There are never hidden fees! Meet Francie. Francie Bedinger is the Home Care Assistance Kentfield client care manager and works directly with clients and their families throughout Marin County. With a masters in Gerontology, Francie is an expert in health and wellness for older adults and works hard to ensure her clients are happy and healthy at all times.
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