Whistlestop JANUARY 2012
E press
Whistlestop.org
The Leading Information Resource for Marin's Active Aging Movement
San Rafael Woman is Model ‘Sandwich Generation Mom’ B y J o h n B o wman
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aly Ouneklap of San Rafael says that if it weren’t for Whistlestop, she would not have a moment for herself. “I love and appreciate every one of those bus drivers because of how well they treat my mom while taking her to and from her dialysis appointments,” Maly said in a recent interview. Maly, who is Laotian, and her husband of 20 years, Ben, who is Thai, could be the poster couple for the Sandwich Generation – those people who are dedicated to caring for aging parents while taking care of their own children. Approximately 1 in 8 Americans aged 40 to 60 are in the Sandwich Generation, according to the Pew Research Center. And the number of Americans aged 60 or older is expected to double by the year 2030. The couple, owners of Bangkok Thai Express in downtown San Rafael, care for Maly’s mother, Louane Phou-
Rocky 's Pantry A Taste of Greece page 4
salith, 82, who lives with them, as well as their daughter, Mora, 16, and son, Vee-Liam, 13. VeeLiam requires special care and attention because he is Maly Ouneklap with her children, Mora and Vee-Liam, and autistic, a condition her mother, Louane Phousalith that was diagnosed when he was 18 and that’s where Whistlestop months old. comes in. So, all of us – me, The Energizer Bunny would Mom’s eight children, twentyhave a difficult time keeping one grandchildren and three up with Maly, who is 43. Her great-grandchildren – appreday starts at 7 and she is still ciate Whistlestop. Because going at midnight. of them, I get some time for She says, “I start the mornmyself to exercise and catch ing, fixing breakfast and getmy breath.” ting the children off to school.” How does she manage all of Mora is a junior at San Rafael this responsibility? High School and Vee-Liam “I don’t know how else to be. attends Cypress School for This is my lifestyle, so I have autistic children in Petaluma. nothing to compare it to. It is “At 8:30, I take Mom to the a blessing and challenge at YMCA to swim, and then at the same time. More blessing. 11, I arrive here to focus on They make me happy. The the restaurant. Some days I children are very helpful in take Mom to the doctor from giving me comfort. And she 3 to 5. She goes three times continued on page 3 a week for kidney dialysis
Jeff Stoffer: What's the Plan? page 13
Best of Marin for Older Adults page 15
Whistlestop
Table of
PERSPECTIVE by JOe o'hehir Challenging Times for the Sandwich Generation
CONTENTS 4 5 6 7 8/9 10 11
From Rocky's Pantry Rocky Packard Designer Showcase Sandwich Generation Mom Sudoku Puzzle Whistlestop Classes Activities Calendar The Bird's Side of Marin Richard Pavek
12
Grand Mom Audrey Mettel Fixmer
13
Financial Nuggets Jeff Stoffer, CFA, CFP®
15
Best of Marin Ballot
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Marin Senior Coordinating Council, Inc. 930 Tamalpais Avenue San Rafael, CA 94901 Chief Executive Officer, Joe O’Hehir Board of Directors President, Dennis Thompson Vice President, Terry Scussel Treasurer, Michael Rice Secretary, Michael Hingson Karen Arnold • Eleanor Delaney • Claudia Fromm Jane Lott • Debbie Mills • Lori Peterson • Bill Saul Bob Sonnenberg • Jeff Stoffer Whistlestop Express is a publication of the Marin Senior Coordinating Council, Inc. A 501 (c) 3 not-for-profit organization The Mission of Whistlestop: To promote the independence and well-being of Marin County’s older adults and individuals with disabilities to enhance their quality of life. Whistlestop Contact Information Main Number 415-456-9062 Whistlestop Fax 415-456-2858 www.whistlestop.org Information & Referral Office 415-459-6700 • resource@whistlestop.org Whistlestop Express Editorial, Art Direction & Sales John & Val Bowman Editors 916-751-9189 • john.bowman58@gmail.com Missy Reynolds Art Director mreynolds@pacificsun.com Advertising Linda Black • 415-485-6700, Ext. 306 Whistlestop Express is printed on recycled paper To be added to, or taken off, the email list for Whistlestop Express, please call 415-456-9062, ext. 141. Or send an email, with your request, your name and address to INFO@whistlestop.org. Subscriptions mailed to your home are $10/year.
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Whistlestop Express
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years ago the “Boomers” in Marin were faced with the challenge of finding childcare so that both parents could hold down jobs and have the appropriate income level to live here. Fast-forward to the present: Boomers face the added challenge of providing care and support for their aging parents. My wife, Vicki, and I have lived in Marin for the past 21 years, and have raised two boys while living in San Rafael. We both have professional careers and we have dealt with the challenges of managing childcare while our boys were growing up. We had to coordinate our work schedules and spent many nights negotiating our respective calendars. In addition, we had to juggle the coverage of the boys’ school and sports events. Who was going to pick up whom from what? Well, we survived that challenge and now we find ourselves empty-nested with both boys in college. We now face the other side of the Sandwich Generation. Our parents require our attention on a regular basis. An added challenge is that our parents live back East. My parents are 82 and live in Florida; Vicki’s Mom, 78, lives in Ohio. Our parents have gone through a series of medical issues in recent years. They still live in
their homes, but they struggle with daily activities. We are constantly checking up on them, and have to arrange local care and services in order for them to remain in their homes. While they sound like they are doing okay during a phone call, a visit to their home illustrates a revealing look into their struggles with aging. Our parents are from a generation that is too proud to ask for help or to accept assistance from a family member or neighbor. They typically wait until they have reached a crisis state. Vicki and I agree that caring for parents is far more stressful than caring for children. At Whistlestop, we are experiencing a growing number of Marin Boomers coming in to our Active Aging Center and visiting our Information and Referral Help desk. They want to know what services are available for their aging parents. Transportation and socialization, especially during the week while they are working, are the most frequently identified needs. Fortunately, Whistlestop has an extensive hub of services that can help them. We Boomers will one day need the same help and assistance from our children. Let’s hope that our children will have organizations like Whistlestop to help them find care for us when we need it. F Joe O’Hehir is CEO of Whistlestop.
‘Farallone Pacific Gives’ Helps Whistlestop
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arallone Pacific Gives is a new insurance referral program designed to provide funds for important social and educational work. Farallone Pacific understands that the challenging economy has caused a dramatic decline in donations and is deeply committed to helping Whistlestop They are continue to enhance the lives of others. As a putting community-minded local their money company, they are putting more of their money where their where their heart is. heart is. Whistlestop friends and volunteers can contact them and they will provide insurance policies of comparable or better home, auto or other personal insurance coverage, often with the same company. Twenty percent of Farallone Pacific’s commission from these policies will be donated back to Whistlestop for the life of the policy. Interested? Contact 415-493-2500 or info@fp-ins.com. F
< Continued from page 1 (nodding toward her mother) is still there for me.” Maly said that Mora is especially helpful, despite being very busy herself as a student and accomplished violin and viola player and an outstanding golfer, taking after her father. “Life is not easy for any teenager,” Maly says. “But with Vee-Liam, it becomes more difficult. Mora is like a second mom to him, very loving and supportive. She is a very disciplined girl.” Maly and Mora both speak Thai, Laotian and English. Maly’s father died in 1989. Their family, including Maly and two of her siblings, were Laotian refugees. They lived for two years in a refugee camp in Thailand, in a 10-by-10 foot room with a cement floor and no kitchen. “We had an outhouse,” Maly says. So life has not been easy for Maly, whose name means “flowers” in Laotian, but she exudes a positive spirit and is full of gratitude for her life and her family. F
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From Rocky's PANTRY
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Whistlestop Express
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Jackson CafĂŠ Greek Pasta Salad
his dish is a variation of the Greek cucumber salad. It substantiates a cold meal of poached fish, grilled chicken and chilled sliced lamb. Or, it works nicely with sandwiches. Servings: 8 1/2 lb Farfalle pasta, cooked al dente and rinsed 1/2 lb Roma tomatoes, diced large 1/2 cup Red onions, diced 1/2 cup Green bell peppers, diced 1 cup Pitted Kalamata olives 1/2 cup Olive oil 1/4 cup Red wine vinegar 1/3 tbsp Oregano 1/2 tsp Sugar 1/4 cup Parsley, chopped 1/2 cup Feta cheese, crumbled Salt and pepper to taste In a large serving bowl, combine cooked pasta and all the vegetables. In a mixing bowl, combine the remaining ingredients, except the Feta cheese. The dressing should be vinegary, tart and sharp. When mixed well, pour over the vegetables and toss well. Sprinkle Feta cheese and parsley over the top as a garnish. Per serving (excluding unknown items): 147 Calories; 15g Fat (92.6% calories from fat); 1g Protein; 1g Carbohydrate; trace Dietary Fiber; 8mg Cholesterol; 102mg Sodium. Exchanges: 0 Grain(Starch); 0 Lean Meat; 0 Vegetable; 3 Fat; 0 Other Carbohydrates. F
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New Dates Set for Marin Designers Showcase: January 31-February 26
A
ll proceeds from the Designer Showcase will benefit the Center for Volunteer and Nonprofit Leadership. Tickets are $30 and $25 for people 62 years or older. For tickets and other information, call 415479-5710, or go to www.marinshowcase.org. The Marin Designers Showcase provides the public with a rare opportunity to view an extraordinary property, Villa Belvedere, which features 180-degree views of the San Francisco Bay. The Available from MetLife Bank, N.A., it’s fromEquity MetLife Bank, N.A., it’s a Home Equity exclusive new waterfront estate includes interior Available a Home Conversion Mortgage Available from MetLife Bank, N.A., it’s a the Home Equity and exterior design. Conversion Mortgage (HECM) thataverage may save average (HECM) that may save the Volunteers are still needed for a variety of jobs. homeowner Conversion (HECM) thatof may save the ageMortgage 62 or older dollars. It average homeowner age 62 orthousands older thousands If interested in volunteering: email volunteermahomeowner ageyour 62it’s or thousands of dollars. It significantly reduces up-front costs as compared to our from MetLife Bank, aolder Home Equity rin@cvnl.org or call 415-479-5710,Available ext. 333. F of dollars. ItN.A., significantly reduces your Available fromsignificantly MetLife Bank, N.A., it’s a Home Equity reduces your up-front costs as get compared to ou other HECM reverse mortgages. Contact me to Conversion Mortgage (HECM) that may save the average up-front costs asthat compared toContact our other Conversionthe Mortgage (HECM) may save the average other HECM reverse mortgages. me to get facts. homeowner age 62 or older thousands of dollars. It HECM reverse mortgages. Contact me to on page 7 age Sudoku Medium Answershomeowner or older thousands of dollars. It the62 facts. get theup-front facts. costs as compared to our significantly reduces your significantly reduces your up-front costs as compared to our otherother HECMHECM reverse mortgages. Contact meme to get reverse mortgages. Contact to get Tom MacDonald the facts. the facts. Reverse Consultant TomMortgage MacDonald
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Tom MacDonald Tom MacDonald All loans are subject to approval. Certain conditions and fees apply. Mortgage financing provided by MetLife Home Loans, a division of MetLife Bank, N.A., Equal Housing Lender. Reverse Mortgage Consultant Reverse Mortgage Consultant All loans are to approval. Certain conditions © 2011 METLIFE, INC.subject R0911208257[exp0912][All States][DC]and fees apply. Mortgage financing provided by MetLife 1112-4547 © 2010 PNTS Home Loans, a division of MetLife Bank, N.A., Equal Housing Lender. 415-295-6700 415-295-6700 © 2011 METLIFE, INC. R0911208257[exp0912][All States][DC] 1112-4547 © 2010 PNTS
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Transportation Numbers Marin Access Call Center: 454-0902 Get Qualified to Ride: 456-9062, x160 eligibility@whistlestop.org Cancel a Ride: 457-4630 Volunteer Driver Program: 454-0969 6
Whistlestop Express
JANUARY 2012
Whistlestop Helps Fairfax â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Sandwich Generationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Couple
â&#x20AC;&#x153;I
am a firm believer in the value of Whistlestop and how stranded our older adults would feel without it,â&#x20AC;? says Maria Felice Cunningham of Fairfax. She is especially grateful for the support Whistlestop has provided for her mother. Maria, 54, is the daughter of Dolores Heckman, 92, of San Anselmo, and Maria Felice Cunningham's mother. mother to three grown children. She and her husband, Dr. John Cunningham, a dentist, lead extremely busy lives and are part of the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Sandwich Generation.â&#x20AC;? Maria is president and â&#x20AC;&#x153;chief conversation officerâ&#x20AC;? of her company, Big Sky Thinking. She also is active in the community, and is a board member of the Okizu Foundation, which supports families with childhood cancer. Mariaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mother lived with the family for five years, and Whistlestop buses helped keep Dolores from being isolated. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We lived about a mile from the closest city bus stop, up a steep hill. The Whistlestop drivers were so helpful to her. She still uses Whistlestop to go to doctorsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; appointments and the pharmacy â&#x20AC;&#x201D; delightful outings for her. She also goes to Whistlestop sometimes for lunch at the Jackson CafĂŠ.â&#x20AC;? Maria maintains close contact with her mother, often by phone during the work week and in person on weekends. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Plus we are always together as a family on holidays,â&#x20AC;? she says. Mariaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s children include Lauran Eastman, 29, of Berkeley, Philip Eastman, 26, of Los Angeles, and Jacqueline Cunningham, 18, who still lives at home when sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not attending the University of Georgia. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The empty nester thing is starting, and I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t like it.â&#x20AC;? F
Whistlestop to Benefit from Marin Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Ball
T
he 16th annual Marin Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Ball will be held Saturday evening, February 11, at the Marin Civic Center. Former Supervisor Hal Brown, the event founder, said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;This yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s black tie extravaganza promises to be the best yet.â&#x20AC;? The Ballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s theme is â&#x20AC;&#x153;To Russia With Love.â&#x20AC;? Our volunteers will transform the Civic Center Exhibit Hall. The evening begins with a hosted cocktail party at 6 pm, followed by live and silent auctions, dinner, and dancing to the music of Wonderbread 5. Since 1977, the ball has raised awareness and support for charitable organizations that, in turn, benefit children, families, and older adults in need throughout the North Bay. This yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s proceeds benefit Godmothers of the Timothy Murphy School, North Bay Childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Center, Sunny Hills Services, and Whistlestop. For information or tickets, call 883-6222, or better yet visit www.MarinValentinesBall.org. F
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Keep Learning at WHISTLESTOP Beginning Computers for Adults Level I Thursdays, January 19 – February 23 • 10 to Noon Fee: $50 for 6 classes, $10 off New Year’s Special Instructor: Ed Essick | Pre-registration required: 459-6700 Requirement: have a Windows-based computer. Learn the basic skills of Windows. Designed for firsttime computer users. You will learn how to: start your computer and turn it off, use the mouse and keyboard to perform tasks, create and print documents, identify the basic parts of a computer and their use, and search the Internet. Laptop users: bring your computer to class. Facebook Computer Class Tuesdays, January 24 & 31 • 10 to Noon Fee: $30 for two 2-hour classes, due at time of registration Instructor: Karl Hoppe | Registration required: 459-6700 Prerequisite: familiarity with PCs Interested in learning about one of the most popular social networking sites? Learn how to set up an account, how to upload a profile picture, add photo albums, write on a wall, send messages to people, become a member of a group and more! It’s a great way to stay in touch with family and friends. Bring your email address and a picture on a CD or flash drive to class. Nutrition/Weight Loss Talk Tuesday, January 10 • 10 to 11am Presenter: Dr. Paul Podwojski, La Vita Chiropractic Registration requested: 456-9062 Learn the proper methods of combining appropriate food groups for optimum digestion and maximum energy. If sensibly applied, this will result in weight loss for those that need to shed some extra pounds. Learn secrets to fueling your immune system and eating to decrease your risk of cancer. Restore & Improve Your Balance Training Class Tuesday & Thursday, January 10 - February 2 2:30 to 3:30pm Instructor: Thomas Attardi, BS, MA, NMT $75 for 8-week course | Registration required: 456-9062 In the Balance Class, you will learn how balance works, why your balance may be deteriorating, and how you can safely implement very simple exercises to train your balance. We will learn the best exercises for stronger legs to prevent falls and safeguard our risks of injury. We will also cover what to do if we fall. Bring water bottle and 1-pound or 2-pound weights to class.
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Whistlestop Express
JANUARY 2012
Refuse to Be A Victim Presentation Friday, January 13 • 10 to 12:30pm Donations appreciated | Registration required: 456-9062 Presenter: Mary Turdell, Certified Safety Training Instructor Learn practical information that you can use to improve your personal safety. The focus will be on three general areas of concern: home security, personal security and automobile safety. Free Hearing Screenings Thursday, January 19 • starting at 11am Reservations required: 456-9062 Facilitators: Audiology Associates Lip Reading/ Listening Skills Class Thursday, January 26 • 11 to 12:30pm Facilitators: Audiology Associates Class designed for people with or without hearing loss. Family members, friends and health care providers are encouraged to participate in this class. Explore the how, what, and why of hearing loss. Learn about living with and management of hearing loss, and effective communication skills. Learn about the latest digital hearing technology, assistive listening devices for the phone, cell phone, TV and music. Review practical aspects of lip reading and new listening therapy programs. Vietnamese Lunar New Year Celebration Year of the Dragon 2012 Friday, January 2 • 4 to 5:30pm Fee: $6 older adults/$8 under 60 Reservations required: 456-9062 Please join us to celebrate the 2012 Year of the Dragon! Enjoy dinner and a lion dance. Need help preparing your income taxes? By Appointment • February to April Locations: Whistlestop and Margaret Todd (Novato) Free; donations appreciated Schedule an appointment: 456-9062, x128 after January 30. The Volunteer Income Tax Assistance (VITA) program is available for individuals with basic, uncomplicated tax returns who qualify. Trained Volunteers are available to help. Taxpayers are asked to bring a copy of their previous year’s return and all of the documents reporting income for the 2011 tax year. Movement and Music for the Older Adult Mondays, January 30 - March 19 • 11:10 to Noon (No class February 20)
Donations Appreciated | Instructor: Diane Hain Registration required: 456-9062 or through College of Marin This exercise class is created for older adults who have not been exercising regularly, or have arthritis-related problems. It moves at a moderate, comfortable (yet progressively challenging) pace to meet individual needs. Chair exercises (to tone both upper and lower body muscles) will comprise a major portion of the class.
Cardio Exercise Class–An Accessible Workout for All Tuesdays • 10:45 to 11:45am Donations Appreciated Instructor: Michael Gordon, volunteer for the LightHouse for the Blind If you want a worthwhile work out and don’t mind breaking a sweat, this class is for you. Michael promises a good 50-minute workout (chair & standing exercises) with warm up and cool down, complete with audio description so participants who are visually impaired or blind can easily join in. Whistlesizers Tuesdays & Thursdays • 9:15 to 10:15am Fee: $2 | Instructor: Ruth Fleshman Whistlesizers is a popular class that uses light weights, chair and standing exercises and stretching.“It’s a class for people who make all kinds of excuses to not exercise,” said Ruth, who has taught the class for 25 years.“By coming to the class, it gets done and you feel good too.” Tai Chi Qigong For Maximum Health, Energy and Relaxation Wednesdays • 9 to 10:15am Fee: $10 | Instructor: Calvin Ahlgren Tai Chi Qigong (“tie-chee chi-gong”) is a one-hour set of gentle exercises, done mostly while seated, that works to tone up the body’s energy system. Especially suitable for older adults, it is credited with developing optimal health for regular practitioners. Tai Chi Qigong is known particularly for improving stamina, stability, and balance.
Yoga with Kelly Fridays • 3 to 4pm Jackson Café | Fee: $3 per class Kelly Lynch has been practicing yoga for nearly 20 years, has taught since 1999, and is grateful to be able to share this wonderful practice with others. Registration: 456-9062 Join Kelly for a wonderful hour of yoga. Yoga enables you to ‘gain and maintain’ balance, strength and flexibility of both body and mind. Previous yoga experience is not necessary. Modifications of the postures will be taught so that all levels can be accommodated. Wear comfortable, loose clothing that you can move in. Bring a yoga mat if you have one and a small bottle of water if you would like. Come and have fun. After all, ‘It’s just yoga.’ Remembrance Writing 101 Workshop Thursdays • 2 to 4pm or 6 to 8pm Facilitator: Claudia Carroll, writer of plays, songs, poetry, and reporter for community newspapers. Fee: $5 Join us for one or both of these fun workshops. Get inspiring ideas to help you unlock your memories. Get going with a traditional memoir or create a collection of non-fictional or fictional short stories about the life you’ve lived. No writing experience required. Remembrance Writing 101 by Claudia Carroll is available for purchase at Whistlestop or Book Passages.
Coming Soon in February 2012! • Blood Pressure & Medication Checks • Lamas Qi Gong, begins Feb. 13 In-Kind Donations needed Mah Jongg sets, decks of cards, books and yarn
Commission on Aging Thursday, January 12 • 10:00-12:30 pm Where: Pickleweed Community Center, 50 Canal St., San Rafael Topic: Sleep Issues for Older Adults Next Meeting: February 9, 2012 • 10 am at San Rafael Community Center whistlestop.org 9
Whistlestop ACTIVITIES This Month at Whistlestop
wednesdays
tuesdays
mondays
TIME
CLASS
MISC.
COST
10:00–11:00 AM 11:00–12:30 PM 11:10–NOON 2:00–4:00 PM 4:00–5:30 PM
AM Monday (Discussion) German Social Group Movement & Music ESL (Jan. 23-May 16, 2012) Citizenship Class
457-0586 Open Open 457-8811 454-0998
Free Free Free Free Free
9:15–10:15 AM 10:00–2:00 PM 10:45–11:45 AM 11:00–2:00 PM 1:00–3:00 PM 2:00–3:00 PM 2:00–3:30 PM 2:30–3:30 PM
Whistlesizers (Exercise) Asian Social Group Cardio Exercise Class Manicurist Learn Spanish ESL Vietnamese English Conversation Balance Class
Open 454-1552 Open Appt. Needed Open 454-1552 454-0998 Open
$2 Free Free Free Free Free Free $10
9:00–10:15 AM 9:00–2:00 PM 10:00–11:30 AM 10:30–NOON 10:00–2:00 PM 10:30–11:45 AM 2:00–4:00 PM 3:00–4:00 PM
Tai Chi Qigong Chair Massage Seniors' Circle (Support) Mah Jongg Computer Lab Corazón Latino ESL (Jan. 23-May 16, 2012) Basic English for Spanish Speakers
Sugg. Donation Open Open Open Open Open 457-8811 457-0586
9:15–10:15 AM 9:30–11:00 AM 10:00–NOON PM 10:00–2:00 PM 10:30–NOON 2:00-3:30 PM 2:00–4:00 PM 3:00–4:00 PM
Whistlesizers (Exercise) Chiropractic Services Knit!!! Asian Social Group Watercolors with Hilda English Conversation Remembrance Writing Basic English for Spanish Speakers
Open Open 457-0586 454-1552 Open 454-0998 Open 457-0586
$2 $5 Free Free Free Free $5 Free
9:00–2:00 PM 11:00–1:00 PM 1:30–3:30 PM 1:30–3:30 PM 2:00–4:00 PM 2:00–4:00 PM 3:00–4:00 PM
Chair Massage WS Knitters ACASA (Support/Training) Practice Spanish (Club) Friday Movie Arts & Crafts w/Vicky Yoga with Kelly
Open 1st Fri. Arts & Crafts Peer Counseling Open Jan. 13 & 27 Jan. 6 & 20 456-9062
$4/8min. Free Free Free $2 $3 $3
fridays
thursdays
Jackson Café
Monday-Friday 11:30am-2:00pm $10 Located in Whistlestop $4/8min. Active Aging Center Free Free Free Free Free Free
Lunch Menu 60+ Prices/ Under 60 Prices
Main Entrée $4.50/$7.25 Sandwiches $4.25/$6.25 Soup du Jour $1.75/$2.25 Hamburger w/Fries $4.25/$5.25 Salads $2.50/$4.00 Other Items Tuna Salad Side Fresh Fruit Beverages Desserts
$1.25 $1.50 $1.00 $1.50
The Caboose, Computer Lab, Board Room and Jackson Café are all located at Whistlestop’s Active Aging Center – 930 Tamalpais Ave., San Rafael. 10
Whistlestop Express
JANUARY 2012
The Bird's Side b y R I C H A R D PAV E K Photos © richard pavek
OF MARIN
Male Crane performing a defense posture
Dancing Cranes
S
andhill Cranes dance. They dance to court, they dance to socialize, they dance to define territory, and they dance to defend. Cranes dance. Solo, in pairs, with their mates, or in groups. Limited in voice, they dance and posture to communicate. Over 45 dance steps and postures have been identified and classified, each with its own message. Young adults practice dancing for
A courtship dance several years before they are ready to mate. If you send me an email requesting one, I will email you a copy of a brief pamphlet, “Field Guide to Crane Behavior,” along with a map to the Cranes areas near Lodi. Free. Every weekend, I email an interesting bird photo to Whistlestop Express readers. If you’d like something nice to look at in your Inbox, email me at SHENmaker@MSN.com. F Till next month, Richard whistlestop.org 11
Grand MOM by Audrey Mettel Fixmer
Surviving Changes
A
ging is all about changes. Some changes are inevitable. Some are good. And some are plain difficult. Changing seasons is welcome. On the Sunday after Thanksgiving, I stood sorting through my closet before dressing for church. The time for rusts and golds was past and it was too soon for Christmas colors. I picked purple. An hour later, as I walked into church, our sacristan grabbed my arm. â&#x20AC;&#x153;You remember that youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re a lector today, right?â&#x20AC;? I reversed my direction and entered the sacristy. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Good morning, Audrey. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re wearing purple for Advent, I see,â&#x20AC;? Father Brian said. Oops! Memory is a terrible thing to lose! The first Sunday of Advent! As the reality set in, I realized this was the Sunday we had dreaded, the Sunday when the changes in the liturgy would begin. At least my part would be the same. Visiting AngelsÂŽ Can Help Share the Care
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We Catholics had been warned a year ago that a new translation was coming. It would mean learning new responses to old greetings and reading a newly worded creed. We could no longer go on automatic pilot with our responses. But I was not going to allow myself to be one of those old fuddy-duddies who fight changes. I recalled how in the 1960s some of the elderly had bitterly rejected the changes brought about by Vatican II: the Latin to the vernacular, the priest facing the congregation and the Eucharist in the hands of the layman. These were all changes I loved. My three oldest sons were Mass servers back then. Their responses had been in Latin. In our parish, we had a pastor and two young assistants, plus 95-year-old Father Schneider, who had returned to our parish to â&#x20AC;&#x153;wait for the Lord to call.â&#x20AC;? Every morning he said Mass at 6:30am. After Vatican II, the Latin Confiteor was one of the first things to go. The young servers were thrilled, but not old Father Schneider. My sons were serving one day when he looked over his shoulder and snapped, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Say the Confiteor.â&#x20AC;? The boys looked at each other confused. Father Schneider persisted. He turned and roared, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Say the Confiteor, dammit.â&#x20AC;? Last Sunday my daughter and I were traveling and attended Mass at a church in Florida. There we found the now familiar cards with the new translation cues and another congregation struggling with their parts. Their priest, a bouncy young Hispanic with a sense of humor, spoke briefly about the Gospel and then said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;But we donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have time to worry about the end of the world. We have to learn a new liturgy instead. Did you know itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s only the English translation thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s changing?â&#x20AC;? As an afterthought he added, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be surprised if next week I say Mass in Spanish!â&#x20AC;? F
Thanks, Whistlestop Drivers!
T
o everyone connected with Whistlestop, especially the drivers, who are absolutely wonderful people â&#x20AC;&#x201C; competent, concerned, courteous â&#x20AC;&#x201C; I wish everyone who interacted with me a joyous holiday and best wishes for the New Year! Sincerely, Rheta H.
Financial Nuggets by Jeff Stoffer, cFa, cfp®
A
The Personal Contingency Plan
woman named Robin suddenly finds herself in the hospital for a prolonged stay. Her sister waits by her bedside for support. Her brother, Bill, steps in to handle all the practical details, such as caring for her pets, securing her home and artwork, as well as paying bills that are coming due. Fortunately, Robin has a Personal Contingency Plan in place so that Bill knows exactly what needs to be done, where things are, and who to contact. What happens once the unexpected comes into your life? A Personal Contingency Plan makes it easy for somebody to step in and take care of the essentials in an emergency. The concept is the brainchild of Novato businesswoman Vicki Clarke of Financial Caregiving. I interviewed her this month and what follows is an excerpt from our conversation. Vicki, please tell me more about the Personal Contingency Plan. A Personal Contingency Plan helps people prepare – at a very practical level – for a time when they are suddenly incapacitated. The Personal Contingency Plan captures the top concerns that need to be handled most urgently regarding each person’s finances and personal business. The plan clearly spells out who will take responsibility, a “point person” if you will. How does one go about choosing a “point person” to handle these details? You might want to think about who would be available and capable of filling this important role. People usually just assume that a loved one will be able to step in and perform these tasks. But, does that person know specifically what you want them to do? Do they have the detailed information they need to carry out your instructions? If you can’t think of someone, you might consider using a trained professional, someone who can step in and act in your best interest, maintain confidentiality and protect your estate.
How does one create a Contingency Plan? First, think about the top ten things that would worry you the most if you were in the hospital, out of the country or simply unable to manage your affairs. Then, write down detailed instructions with all the facts: names, contact information, account numbers, passwords, etc. Lastly, formally communicate with your point person, as well as informing the rest of your family. Is there anything else people should know about the Personal Contingency Plan? The Personal Contingency Plan provides the security of knowing that your affairs will be carried out even if you are temporarily out of the driver’s seat. Your closest friend or kin don’t have to scramble around to figure out what needs to be done. With a Personal Contingency Plan in place, an accident or sudden illness doesn’t need to cause the extra stress of risk to your estate. Thank you, Vicki! Vicki Clarke is a California Licensed Professional Fiduciary and founder of Financial Caregiving located in Novato. www.FinancialCaregiving.com. F
HEALTH CARE CONNECTION
415 4572256 www.HealthCareConnectionLLC.com whistlestop.org 13
YOGa TO YOu
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Dr. Melanie Hahn 415.215.9722 415.927.8123
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Did you know that daily yoga and meditation practice has been proven to reduce your risk of heart disease by 47% and your risk of cancer by 55%?
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Marta Villela, 2nd from right, with her mom, Marta Morales, far right, at Whistlestop Halloween Party.
Can You Afford Retirement?
Marta and Her Mother Love to Dance at Whistlestop
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arta Villela loves Whistlestop and what it has meant to her mother. Marta’s favorite treat is taking her mother to Whistlestop’s parties and dances. “If there’s a party, I’m there with my mom,” said Villela, 39, a Mill Valley single mother. “We both love to dance. We had a beautiful time at the Halloween party. I went as a vampire and my mom was a little girl, with pigtails.” Her mother is Marta Morales, 77. Villela also has a daughter at home, Maria Baubautista, so Villela is a model “Sandwich Generation” mom. She works 13 hours a day at three jobs, four days a week. She makes sandwiches and takes orders from customers at a bagel shop for a full eighthour shift, then cleans and organizes houses in the afternoon. In the evenings. she puts in two hours cleaning a laundromat. Villela’s day off is Wednesday. “On that day, I take my mother to Whistlestop, go shopping for groceries for my family, fix meals and then go to class at night at College of Marin.” She is taking a credited course in English as a Second Language. The family is from Guatemala; Villela has lived here for four and a half years. Her mother came to the US two years ago and lived with Marta’s brother for awhile. Her brother and his wife both worked long hours and Morales was lonely. “When she moved in with me, a doctor told us she was depressed, that she needed to get out and socialize. A nurse practitioner told us about Whistlestop and that has changed everything. My mother loves Vicky’s classes because she loves arts and crafts. And now she is also taking an English class there. She is so happy.” F
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Whistlestop Express
JANUARY 2012
M
2012BESTOFMAR N
FOROLDERADULTS
R
eaders are invited to vote for their favorites in our Best of Marin for Older Adults issue. Balloting is open to any Marin County resident who is 60 years of age or older. Remember, we are looking for the best places from the perspective of an older adult. So, service, accessibility and price are key factors.
Votes must be turned in by February 13. Simply write in your favorite places and the city of its location for each category and mail or drop off your ballot at Whistlestop, 930 Tamalpais Ave., San Rafael, CA 94901. Results will be published in the April issue of Whistlestop Express.
Best Restaurants Breakfast_ ___________________________________
Buffet________________________________________
Brunch_______________________________________
Pizza________________________________________
Lunch________________________________________
Coffee/Tea____________________________________
Dinner_______________________________________ Best Service__________________________________
Best Shopping
Most Economical______________________________
Supermarket_ ________________________________
American_ ___________________________________
Farmerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Market______________________________
Asian________________________________________
Clothing Store________________________________
Mexican______________________________________
Gift Shop for Children_________________________
Italian_______________________________________
Pet Store_____________________________________
Persian_ _____________________________________
Bookstore_ ___________________________________
Vegetarian_ __________________________________ Other________________________________________
Best of Miscellaneous Continuing Ed Classes_________________________
Best Specialty Food
Computer Classes_____________________________
Burger_______________________________________ Hotdog_______________________________________ Burrito_______________________________________ Soup_________________________________________ Salad Bar____________________________________
Park_________________________________________ Dog Park_____________________________________ Most Beautiful Vista_ _________________________ Best Walking/Hiking Trail_____________________
whistlestop.org 15
Whistlestop
E press Marin Senior Coordinating Council 930 Tamalpais Avenue San Rafael, CA 94901-3325 Whistlestop.org To subscribe to Whistlestop Express, please send $10/yr in the enclosed envelope. Or send an email with your request, your name and address to info@whistlestop.org
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Discover AlmaVia of San Rafael. Our assisted living services offer our loved ones just the right balance of independence, stimulating activities, large apartments and personal care. Call today to schedule a free lunch and tour!
415.233.6095
515 Northgate Drive San Rafael, CA 94903
www.almaviaofsanrafael.org AlmaVia of San Rafael, an Elder Care Alliance community is cosponsored by the Sisters of Mercy of the Americas West Midwest Community & the Sierra Pacific Synod of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. RCFE Lic # 216801868.
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HIRED HANDS HOMECARE
Feb 4, 2010
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