Commencement issue

THE PAISANO

SINCE 1981

Volume 53

Cla ss

Page 3

of 2

Spring Graduation Edition

Rumor has it, the Sombrilla fountain brings students good luck

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The Paisano Managing Editor: Randi Gilmore News Editor: Caroline Traylor Arts & Life Editor: Brayden Boren Sports Editor: Brady Phelps Web Editor: Michael Turnini Photography Editor: Fabian De Soto Magazine Editor: Jade Cuevas Business Manager: Lizzette Rocha Distribution Manager: Patrick Martinez

Marketing Director Social Media Coordinator: Madeline Harper Advertising Marketing Liaison: Jenelle Duff

ASSISTANTS Assistant to the Managing Editor: Gaige Davila

News Assistants:

Alex Birnel, Alyssa Gonzales

ADVICE ON ADULT-ING UP AFTER COLLEGE

Spring 2016

Ethan Pham Photo Assistant @ThePaisano

Listen here kids, playtime is over and you are graduating. It is time to become a real adult, real fast. While growing up is a process of trial and error, I have laid out some ways for you to get on the road to at least appearing like a college graduate.

Get yourself some real furniture The era of twin beds and storage ottomans is over. While you are on the way to establishing your own living space, do us all a favor and upgrade to a queen bed and an actual sofa. It is also worth mentioning, paper plates and plasticware should no longer be the norm.

Class up your wardrobE Pajamas are awesome, but are definitely no longer appropriate public attire.

Also, while I am a fan of free clothes, those free t-shirts from campus should not comprise your entire wardrobe. I suggest buying some professional clothing with a little of your paycheck, since you do have your own job now, right?

Arts & Life Assistants:

Annette Barraza, Elizabeth Davis

Sports Assistant: Anthony Suniga

Web Assistants:

Kat Joseph, Ricardo Rodriguez

Photo Assistant: Ethan Pham

Special Issues Assistant:

Put the ramen to rest I love me some Whataburger, but I do not think food that came from a window is an acceptable diet anymore. Same goes with all those cheap and easy foods. Yes ramen, I am talking to you. Health problems are not something most people deem an attractive quality, and the empty calories are going to get you there.

Urub Khawaja

Business Assistant: Will Stransky

Distribution Assistant: Kevin Prichard

STAFF Justice Lovin, Claudia Jimenez, Christopher Breakell, Robert Avila, Andrea Velgis, Marina Vences, Johnee Jasso, Lyanne Rodriguez, Memorie Johnson, Katelyn Wilkinson, Raquel Alonzo, Chris Herbert

MARKETING TEAM Sam Patel, Kesley Smith, Catherine Adams, Celina Perkins

CONTRIBUTORS Taiwo Adepoju, Bryan De Leon, Diego Ramirez , Jessica Gonzales, Hana Adeni, Jesse Nation

ADVISOR

Diane Abdo

ADVISORY BOARD

Steven Kellman, Jack Himelblau, Sandy Norman, Stefanie Arias, Diane Abdo, Red Madden The Paisano is published by the Paisano Educational Trust, a non-profit, tax exempt, educational organization. The Paisano is operated by members of the Student Newspaper Association, a registered student organization. The Paisano is NOT sponsored, financed or endorsed by UTSA. New issues are published every Tuesday during the fall and spring semesters, excluding holidays and exam periods. The Paisano is distributed on all three UTSA campuses — Main, Downtown and the Institute of Texan Cultures. Additionally, Paisano publications are distributed at a variety of off-campus locations, including Tri-point and a variety of apartment complexes near the UTSA Main Campus. All revenues are generated through advertising and donations.

Advertising inquiries and donations should be directed to: 14526 Roadrunner Way, Suite 101 San Antonio, TX 78249 Phone: (210)-690-9301

Drinking is no longer a game Beer pong and keg stands: sounds like a fun night out, right? Maybe, but that is a college night out; you are a mature individual, so start experimenting and find an appropriate “Saturday night out” drink. You know, a drink that will not get you wasted and make you pass out on the floor.

Plan your future before you have no future to plan I think it is fair to say that college taught us how to crank out any assignment in 30 minutes or less, but I do not think that skill is admired in a workplace. Keep that skill on the back burner for emergencies only. My advice, start planning out your schedule and work efficiently. In addition, the constant threat of exams are now over.

You can start to relax and try and get your 8 hours of sleep, for your sake and everyone else’s as well.

Of course, all this advice should be taken with a grain of salt. College is a warzone that teaches us how to teach ourselves. So go out and find your own unique way to be a true adult, and hopefully you can use these tips as a guide.

ADVERTISE IN THE PAISANO summer issue on stands june 1 artwork deadline may 25 contact ads@paisano-online.com

3 GRADUATION Will you brave the waters Eight things You'll miss for good luck on your finals? about being a student Spring 2016

Jumping into the Sombrilla fountain is a terribly bad decision, especially since the fountain is about as deep as your motivation to get through finals week.

If you jump in, you’ll probably break your ankle, preventing you from taking your finals, and inevitably failing your courses.

However, according to a decades old legend, any person who braves the waters and stands with their palms pressed against the marble for a few seconds will be imbued with enough good luck to get even the worst student through finals.

So why isn’t the Sombrilla full of desperate, soaking wet college students looking for an easy way to pass all of their finals?

Well, it’s risky and illegal.

Rule 80110 of the Regents Rules and Regulations explicitly states that it is forbidden for any person to enter, walk, run, lie, play, remain or be in the water of any fountain located on any property owned or controlled by the U. T. System.

Seems as if this rule has covered all of the bases to prevent anyone

from getting in the fountain; however, fortune favors the bold, but it also favors the desperate.

Some of UTSA’s newer Roadrunners may not have heard of this tradition — and when they do, they may think it is silly — but university traditions are a special aspect of the collegiate experience.

UTSA’s Downtown Campus has their own version of jumping into the Sombrilla fountain for good luck.

Throughout the Down-

town Campus, you can find an artwork collection called Milagros — 31 unique bronze hearts that have been spread across campus.

Over the years, students began rubbing the bronze hearts for good luck, and that is exactly how traditions are born — from students.

Even if you don’t personally believe in luck, hopefully you appreciate the sentiment of a good tradition.

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Student section at football games at the Alamodome

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Discounts

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The Rec

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Obscure UC events

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People watching on campus

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Not paying off student loans

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Whatever your lazy, college attire may be — pjs, sweats, basketball shorts, oversized tees, etc. — most likely won’t be appropriate anymore. What even are real pants?

On any given day of the week, free stuff can be found throughout campus — food, shirts, school supplies, promo items — you can even count on the condom bin by the elevators in the MH to be filled.

Most games have a decent student turnout, but I’m talking quality not quantity. There is a sense of camaraderie you feel when you sit (mostly stand) with your fellow ‘runners! Also, tickets are free.

I’m not talking about discounts you get with your student ID (I plan on using my student ID for the next ten years) — which FYI, there are a lot. I am referring to the discounts you need a current .edu email to qualify — Best Buy, Apple, your cell phone bill, Amazon Prime, Adobe, car insurance, major publications — take advantage of these while you can!

Even though you do technically pay to use the Rec in your tuition and fees, you don’t have to pay a monthly gym bill, which can be expensive! Plus, the Rec has a great variety of exercise classes, nutrition services and personal trainers available. *Alumni can get a membership for $30 a month

The UC always has something going on for students to enjoy! They make student involvement a priority, and their unique twist on events is enjoyable to see around campus.

Anyone who has ever visited UTSA can see it has a melting pot of culture and uniqueness. You could sit anywhere on campus and take in the diversity — you can do this after you graduate, but it would be weird.

Is there really any more to add?

That six month grace period is going to fly by, and loan payments are going to be due. There goes all your money.

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GRADUATION

Spring 2016

Eight books college students should read before they graduate Alyssa Gonzales News Assistant @alyssargonzales

Glory O’Brien’s History of the Future,

by A.S. King

As a self-imposed social outcast, Glory O’Brien has only one person she deems a real friend. In a very odd situation, Glory and her friend drink the ashes of a petrified bat and can suddenly see the future.

Terrified at what she sees, Glory kicks ass and changes the fate of her life, and well, the world. This is a wonderful book for someone that struggles with understanding their place in the world.

A Short History of Nearly Everything,

by Bill Bryson

This book is a sociology, biology, anthropology, history, chemistry and business textbook all rolled into one. In his very easy to follow book, Bill Bryson takes you through the history of world, touching on topics of alchemy, fame, archeology, politics and more, leaving you a tiny expert in all fields known to man.

The Song of Achilles,

by Madeline Miller

A twist on the well known myth of the great Greek warrior Achilles, Madeline Miller focuses on what it means to have a destiny and how much control you actually have in creating it.

The Harry Potter Series,

by J.K. Rowling

Okay... this series is a must. Watching children grow up, and grow up way too fast, Harry Potter unleashes the magic that exists in all of us. So our professors aren’t masters of the dark arts and can’t turn you into a cat because you showed up to class late (thankfully), but this entire series reminds us that magic is what you make of it.

Reasons to Breathe,

by Rebecca Donovan

This book (and entire series) has arguably changed my life. Emma is a high schooler with an abusive caretaker. Struggling to escape her circumstances, she drowns herself in schoolwork and soccer, hoping that a scholarship will be her ticket out. Emma reminds the reader that you have the power to change your life, and nobody can save you except yourself.

What We Talk About When We Talk About Love (short story),

by Raymond Carver

A brilliant short story about the nature of love, and how the world is a different place to everyone, What We Talk About When We Talk About Love, asks the hostile and confusing questions about love. Speaking to the "human noise" that each of us create, this story is definitely food for thought.

F**k It- Do What You Love, by John Parkin

A literal call to action to quite wasting your precious time on this planet.

Parkin is relentless in dispelling and debunking all modes of pessimism, begging the reader to quit worrying about being selfish, irresponsible or idealistic.

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn,

by Betty Smith

This book follows the life of Francie Nolan and her struggles as an IrishAmerican. Francie loves books and has a hard time accepting her current reality as permanent. This is a story about coming of age and growing into your dreams. It’s a reminder that you have the power to change your life.

Book jacket photos courtesy of amazon.com

Spring 2016

GRADUATION

How to create a killer resumé 1. Don’t include everything When building a resumé, you often want to include just about every detail of your life. It is important to figure out what is most relevant and impressive, according to the job you are currently applying for. For example, painting skills might not be necessary for an entry-level accounting job.

2. Put the best information towards the top If your resumé is in a pile of hundreds, you want to make sure to set yourself apart quickly. You want to differentiate yourself within the first once-over of your resumé (which could be ten seconds), so make it easy for your potential employer by putting the most relevant information at the top of your page.

3. Dates should be in reverse chronological order Potential employers want to know what relevant experience you have had that qualifies you for the job you are applying for. This means that your experience section should be listed backwards (your most recent experience first and oldest experience last).

Employers are far less likely to care about a job you had 10 years ago than one you just left.

4. Give them the facts and figures Plain and simple, you can not argue with numbers. For example, impress your potential employer by including not only that you dealt with a lot of customer complaints, but qualify it with how many you dealt with per week or month. The more you can put your accomplishments into numbers, the more qualified you will seem.

5. Design for quick reading For a resumé, you want to try and keep the design simple. You want your resume to be as readable as possible. This means using a clean, simple font like Arial or Helvetica and leaving ample white space on your resumé. If your resumé looks jumbled, the potential employer might not even bother reading it at all.

6. Don’t stress over gaps in employment Everyone has times in their life that they were not employed. That is okay. Do not neglect non-traditional experience. If you have long gaps in your career, you can include experience like volunteering or part-time jobs. If you are still worried, you can include a short statement explaining any odd breaks in experience.

7. Make sure there are no spelling or grammatical errors You might think this goes without saying, but you would be surprised how negligent applicants can be. If your resumé has spelling or grammatical errors, it shows the potential employer that you do not even care enough to proofread. If you don’t care enough to do that, what makes them think you will care enough to do the job?

8. Try to keep it to one page Sometimes, conciseness is key. If you give a potential employer too much information, they might not even read your resumé in its entirety. Make sure everything on your resumé is relevant to the job you are applying for.

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Spring 2016

Congratulations to all Spring 2016 Graduates!

Congratulations!

Gamma Phi Beta wants to congratulate our graduating seniors-

Haley Bulls, Elena Miranda, Taylor Martin, and Coco Lin

Active Officers of: Social Work Council UTSA Downtown Campus Childcare Initiative ONE Campus Coalition & Students Against Sexual Assault Graduating with Masters in Social Work Degree From left to right: Kimberly Vernon-Hendrix, Bianca Ramirez, and Sophia Worth

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Spring 2016

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Congrats to our Paisano grads!

Robert Avila Staff Writer

Madeline Harper Marketing Director/ Social Media Coord.

Johnnee Jasso Staff Writer

Randi Gilmore Managing Editor

Michael Turnini Web Editor

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GRADUATION

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Spring 2016

Commencement comments from a recent grad

Quen

tips

Quentin Hemphill Paisano Alumnus @QuentinHemphill

Be punctual to the ceremony, but don’t stress! UTSA plans commencement to give you plenty of time to arrive at the Alamodome.

You’ll be given a name card that you will need to walk the stage. This card also has your number on it, which tells you your place in line. Do not lose this!

You need to have it to walk the stage!

You will do some waiting around before the ceremony actually starts. But the Alumni Association provides things like photo props to help pass the time.

Show off your cords and stoles — no matter how many you have! You earned them! Go out there and stunt ‘em with pride.

The Alumni Association will also have a merch table set up where you can buy shirts, sashes, pens, class rings, etc.

Travel light! You really only need your phone so you can take selfies and your student ID. You don’t want heavy pockets or handful of stuff weighing you down.

Be careful when you’re walking on stage to receive your (fake) diploma. You don’t want to be the one who falls in front of hundreds of people.

Don’t overdo your “celebration” on stage when they call your name. They announce the names of the graduates pretty fast — you wouldn’t want to still be on stage when they call the next person’s name. A wave to the crowd will suffice.

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GRADUATION

Spring 2016

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Commencement: Behind the scenes

Photo courtesy of San Antonio Business Journal

Lyanne Rodriguez @ThePaisano

“Preparing for every commencement ceremony takes a lot of work, but our student’s success is something worth celebrating, and we want to make sure that every commencement ceremony is perfect for our graduates.

That is our responsibility, and when our students succeed, UTSA succeeds,” said the Executive Director of the Special Events Center Pat Graham.

Graham has been the special events coordinator and a leader in organizing the commencement ceremonies at UTSA since 1975, and has indicated that a substantial amount of preparation goes into organizing the commencement ceremonies.

The UTSA Office of Special Events and Graduation Coordination provides students with information on procedures for commencement and graduation, which work together to ensure that the ceremonies run smoothly.

While organizing the graduation ceremonies is demanding, the ceremonies used to be much more difficult to plan, and they were less likely to accommodate graduates and their families. For the vast majority of UTSA’s history, commencement was held in the Convocation

Center until the ceremonies were moved to the Alamodome in 2013.

Hosting in the Convocation Center created obstacles for students and their families, but since moving the ceremonies to the Alamodome, these obstacles are no longer an issue. The convocation center strictly limited the number of guests who students could bring, and tickets had to be purchased to attend the ceremony.

“We loved having the ceremonies here at home, but it was unfair to tell students to limit and choose who they could invite,” Says Graham. Due to the limited capacity in the convocation center, the ceremonies also had to be split into 5 (sometimes 6) separate ceremonies.

The issues with having commencement in the convocation center prompted the decision to move the ceremonies to the Alamodome where there would be more accommodation for students and their families — “now students can bring 15 or even more people to their graduation, and that has really made a big difference in the students’ satisfaction with commencement,” says Graham.

According to the Graduation Coordination office, about 3,600 candidates for graduation will participate in the Spring 2016 commencement ceremonies. The

Alamodome offers a generous amount of space to host commencement and can easily hold the number of students who will participate, as well as the unlimited number of people who the student wishes to invite.

Graduating students are encouraged to decorate their mortarboards (caps).

Graduation Coordination director and director of Registration and Records Ginnifer Cie Gee recalls cap decorations she’s seen in the past, “The ones that are most memorable are the ones that recognize the people in the graduate’s life who have supported them in their college journey.

Messages like ‘Thank you, mom and dad’ or ‘To my son/daughter/family’ are the most memorable.” Having a message of appreciation for a loved one can make the day even more significant, she explained.

The Special Events Center is committed to making sure that details in the ceremony are exemplary to ensure that students and their families are happy.

For example, Graham explained the importance of pronouncing every name correctly. “It would be terribly disappointing to our student’s family if they hear their name mispronounced in such a special ceremony, so our announcers take the pronunciation very seriously.”

The announcers who will read the names during

the Spring 2016 ceremony are UTSA faculty Dr. William McCreary, Dr. Ann Eisenberg, Dr. Nicole Wicha, Dr. Howard Smith, Dr. Lisa Montoya and Dr. Sue Ann Pemberton.

These faculty practice saying the list of student names to prepare for the ceremony. If there are any issues in pronunciation, announcers will go up to students in the line-up and ask them how to properly pronounce their name preceding the ceremony.

The speaker of for all three commencement ceremonies will be President Romo, who Graham describes as a “very charismatic man who is representative of everything UTSA stands for.”

The music provided for the ceremony will be a commencement ensemble composed of the UTSA SOSA marching band along with a student vocalist.

The ceremony will also have a performance from the Mariachi band, Las Alteñas. The ceremony will conclude with fireworks to celebrate the graduating students’ achievements.

While the commencement ceremony is primarily to celebrate a student’s accomplishments, it is also meant to share with his or her family. Graham describes one of the most memorable moments she experienced at one of the first commencement ceremonies at the convocation center: “I was in the back area where we

reserved seating for people with disabilities, and I saw a man who was standing up.

“I wondered why he was standing, so I went up to him and asked if he was okay. As I saw tears running down his face, I asked if I could help him in any way. Although the man spoke no English, I knew enough Spanish to understand him saying that is my son crossing the stage. I have never forgotten that. That incident reminds me of why I do this.”

UTSA tries to make the commencement ceremony an unforgettable event because students have worked to get to the finishing line. “Our goal is to provide a great and memorable experience for graduating students and their families, so we go the extra mile to make every ceremony special, and this Spring 2016 ceremonies will follow that same philosophy.”

For general information on procedures for the commencement ceremonies or FAQ’s visit www.utsa. edu/commencement

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Spring 2016

Graduating Paisano satire writer still has no idea what to write about hours after article deadline passed SATIRE

Drinking bourbon in his underwear on Friday, the writer, who had written over three dozen satire articles for The Paisano, struggled to type out his final article submission.

“I really don’t know what to say,” stated the writer who turned his articles in late every week for the past two years. “Can I talk about the president of UTSA’s abs again?”

Without any excuses beside his own laziness, the writer, who would have to learn far greater work ethic entering law school next fall,

decided it would be best to go for a third walk around the neighborhood with his dog to get the creative juices flowing. The dog, who loved the writer despite his night owl tendencies and propensity to hug him for 45 minutes more than the ten seconds the dog is actually comfortable with. The dog decided he was too tired for another walk and went to hide in the bathroom.

Deciding instead to meditate in bed by eating Cheerios directly from the box, the writer, who had once tricked the entire campus into believing Taylor Swift was coming to UTSA, began the process of clearing his head to create room for new ideas.

Unfortunately, the meditation proved unsuccessful, as the writer could not help but focus on a memory of that

one episode of Lost where the weird smoke monster came out of the jungle and scared everyone.

“Should I write about SGA again?” thought the writer as he recollected about the previous issue of The Paisano that had caused quite the buzz on social media. “Maybe I should do another piece about squirrels?”

Having often written satires based on experiences and beliefs in his own life, the writer worried that he may once again write something uncomfortably personal.

Despite not feeling the loving touch of a woman in over a month, dealing with issues of body insecurity that don’t allow him to wear his favorite pair of jeans and a struggling addiction to making huge mistakes without

thinking, the writer decided against any kind of satire reflecting his own life.

With only an hour to spare before his latest deadline, the writer decided that it was best to just hide in his bathtub, behind the shower curtain with his dog. He would continue ignoring all calls, texts and Snapchat messages from his editor until the end of the semester when he would have his degree and the paper would have been published without him.

I have to thank my editor or believing what I wrote was good enough to be published weekly. I didn’t plan on writing a recurring column but she pushed me, even when I was lazy and she knew she would have to spend an hour copy editing with me to make what I had better. I enjoyed it and I’m a better writer because of her.

I would like to thank The Paisano for being the creative outlet I always needed. I will always be grateful for the experience, the friendships and the work we all did together.

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GRADUATION

Spring 2016

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Alumni Association:

Photo Poll Photos and interviews by Claudia Jimenez

What are you most looking forward to about graduation?

“I’m looking forward to being done with all the school work and looking for my future job and ultimately getting money.”

Nicole Watts Junior - communication and business administration Graduation: Fall 2016

“I’m looking forward to getting my bachelors degree, I’ve been going to school a long time and am excited to show my kids and be a role model to them.”

Matt Gomez Junior - mathematics Graduation: Spring 2018

“I’m very excited to graduate with honors.”

Jasmine Gatlin Junior - communication Graduation: Spring 2017

What are the benefits?

Did you know that your first year of UTSA’s Alumni Association is free (a $40 value)? Now you do! To stay in the Alumni Association after the first year, you can either choose to pay $40 annually, or you can become a life member for a payment of $750. With your membership, here are some of the benefits:

Campus Benefits • • • •

Two loyalty points toward your UTSA football season ticket seat selection (a $100 value) UTSA Recreation Center membership for you for only $30 a month per person $10 off any membership to the Institute of Texan Cultures Use of the UTSA Library including checking out up to four books or three CDs at a time from the general collection, electronic access to library catalog, in-library access for some databases, interlibrary loan requests for $5 each • Alumni General Parking Permit for $45, valid for one academic year (current UTSA students and employees are not eligible)

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SACU Credit Union Discounted admission to alumni events Save up to 70 percent on over 3,000 golf courses at Play it Forward Golf Ten percent off La Quinta stays nationwide: Use code ALUMN12 Discounted room rates at Drury Inn & Suites San Antonio near La Cantera Parkway Discounted room rates at Staybridge Suites at Sunset Station Fifteen percent discount on most extended education classes at UTSA Fifteen percent discount on LSAT, GRE and GMAT workshops Low cost auto and home insurance through Liberty Mutual Health and life insurance Ten percent off Culver's Frozen Custard at 5836 De Zavala Rd San Antonio, TX

Life Member-Only Benefits • Five loyalty points toward your UTSA football season ticket seat selection (a $250 value) • Recognition on the Alumni Association website • Life Member Certificate Source: Alumni.utsa.edu

I’ll just sit here by Christopher Breakell “I’m excited to be able to say that I accomplished everything I wanted and starting my career.”

John Warden Junior -mechanical engineering Graduation: Fall 2017

“I’m most excited to get my first real job and not live in Texas.”

Bryce Frye Freshman - accounting Graduation: Spring 2019

“I’m looking forward to starting a new chapter in my life and after four years of hard work I can finally get my career going.”

Susan Thompson Sophomore - public health Graduation: Spring 2018

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Spring 2016

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