Palatinate Issue 702

Page 1

3$/$7,1$7(¡6 $118$/

=@KK<JK =I<J?<I

2/' +2//<:22' +,76 &$67/( '85+$0¡6 ),77(67 )5(6+(56 7$.( &(175( 67$*( &(175( 635($' 3+272

7KH RIÂżFLDO 'XUKDP 8QLYHUVLW\ 6WXGHQW 1HZVSDSHU VLQFH

3$/$7,1$7( ISSUE 702 | TUESDAY 9 DECEMBER 2008 ¾7ZDV WKH PRQWK EHIRUH &KULVWPDV a remarkable number of Father Christmases pour out of the Castle at the start of the Durham Santa Stroll on 7 December 2008. Families took to the streets dressed as St. Nick to parade around the city in aid of the City of Durham Mayor’s Appeal- The City of Durham Society for the Blind and Partially Sighted.

PHOTO: MAX WALDRON

,UDQ IXQGV 'XUKDP GHPRFUDF\ VHPLQDU Chris Wright AN ACADEMIC SEMINAR due to take place in Durham tomorrow is sponsored by the Islamic Republic of Iran, Palatinate has learned. The seminar, entitled ‘Iranian theocracy and democracy: convergence or contradiction?’, is to be jointly presented by Durham University’s Centre for Iranian Studies and the Cultural Centre of the Islamic Republic of Iran UK. The seminar begins at 11.00 am on Wednesday 10 December at the Al-Qasami building on Elvet Hill Road, adjacent to St. Mary’s College. The Islamic Republic News Agency, the news service of the Iranian govern-

ment, issued a press release on December 5 which describes the aim of the seminar as the discussion of “different aspects of religious democracy under the Islamic republic� and claims that “the seminar will be held in line with a memorandum of understanding sealed between the Cultural Consulate of the Iranian Embassy and the University of Durham.� The press release also reports a statement from Ali Mohammad Helmi, the Cultural Consul of the Iranian Embassy in London who said: “I hope the governance pattern of the Islamic republic presented by Imam Khomeini could be introduced in details to the British academics and students, [...] No other country in the Islamic world except for the Islamic Republic of

Entrepreneurs How to be your own boss and still make big bucks >> Indigo :Page 3

,UDQ DWWDFKHV VXFK D JUHDW VLJQLĂ€FDQFH to the role of the public in administering the state of affairs. That’s why the ruling system in Iran has turned it into a unique system in the Middle East and among the Muslim world.â€? Durham University issued a statement on 5 December. Dr Reza Molavi, executive Director of the Centre for Iranian Studies, explained: “The Memorandum of Understanding is aimed at exchanging scholars and students in order to better understand the issues surrounding Iran which is one of the most strategically and politically important countries in the Middle East region today. “Any money the University has been provided with is to cover expenses as-

sociated with the event. Durham University embraces freedom of expression and welcomes open and challenging debate on controversial issues so long as that freedom of expression is within the law. Durham has been a diverse university for many years, and we follow national guidelines on promoting good campus relations and on ensuring staff and students can live and work in a respectful and tolerant environment.â€? Critics of the Iranian regime will not be VDWLVĂ€HG KRZHYHU 7KH FRPPHQWDWRU 'Dvid Toube raised questions over the news on the political website, Harry’s Place. He told Palatinate: “There has never been a more urgent need to study the Iranian political system. However, it worries me

Xmas debate Palatinate’s resident Grinch argues his case against Christmas >> Page 13

that the Islamic Republic of Iran claims to be sponsoring - under a ‘Memorandum of Understanding’ - a conference on its political system. Will refugees and those who have suffered from, and escaped Iran’s ‘religious democracy’ be invited to participate? Has the University of Durham thought about how Iranian dissidents must feel, knowing that a Government that has persecuted them, is sponsoring such an event? “Iran’s ‘religious democracy’ is a sham. Thousands of mildly reformist candidates DUH URXWLQHO\ GLVTXDOLĂ€HG E\ WKH *XDUGian Council prior to each Iranian election. Trade unionists, liberals and minorities are routinely arrested, tortured and executed >> Continued on Page 3

Ideal gifts guide Palatinate’s Arts team give advice on the perfect lastPLQXWH VWRFNLQJ ¿OOHUV >> Indigo: Page

2

2 NEWS

Got a scoop? news@palatinate.org.uk

Tuesday 9 December 2008 palatinate.org.uk

E<NJ

IN BRIEF Mayor thanks SCA at Jazz night MAYOR OF DURHAM Grenville Holland recently acknowledged the “valuable skillsâ€? students bring to the local community, writes Frances Main. The Mayor gave a speech of thanks on behalf of the city to members of Student Community Action. He praised volunteers for “using your talents to help those less fortunate than yourselves.â€? The Jazz Night was a celebration of SCA’s volunteering achievements this term, and raised ÂŁ140 to support various projects.

Durham Uni experts criticise ID cards EXPERTS AT DURHAM University have voiced criticism over a government scheme to introduce identity cards for foreign nationals in the UK, writes Tim Cross. The scheme, which was launched on 25th November, requires foreign nationals who are applying to enter or remain in the UK to apply for a credit-card sized, biometric ID card. The card will FRQWDLQ DQ HOHFWURQLF FKLS ZLWK ÀQJHUprint details and a digital facial image, ZKLFK WKH +RPH 2IÀFH FODLPV ZLOO SURWHFW against identity fraud, illegal workers, and crime and terrorism. However, three experts, Steve Graham, Professor of Geography, Dr. Francisco Klauser, an expert in security politics, and Dr. Kearnes, all from Durham University, have all highOLJKWHG à DZV LQ WKH VFKHPH

Mildert Fashion Show goes off with a bang VAN MILDERT COLLEGE’S second annual charity fashion show took place last weekend, writes Laura Pennington. The show included live music, dance and pyrotechnics, with clothing being modelled from numerous local brands and national names. The fashion show raised over £1500 for Mildert’s unique outreach projects and charities; the Young Persons’ Project, Van Mildert Prison Project, Mildert’s Visiting Scheme and DUCK.

Winter weather hits Durham PHOTO: MAX WALDRON

Helen White and Jess Pauley DURHAM MP Roberta Blackman-Woods has called for the County Council to make the city safer as bad weather conditions have become increasingly dangerous. Ms Blackman-Woods has demanded that the council grit the icy roads, paths and in particular, the footbridges. She said: “I am really concerned for people walking and travelling around the City with the heavy snow Durham received. A large number of residents have contacted me expressing their concerns about the state of the roads, paths and footbridges. People have been slipping over, having car accidents and skidding on the roads.� As for major routes in and out of Durham, snowploughs and gritters worked hard to keep the roads open, but were eventually overwhelmed by the conditions. Ms Blackman-Woods has advised people not to go out in the bad weather conditions unless it is really necessary and asked that they take notice of adverse weather warnings. It has been quite a challenge for students getting to and from lectures, especially from those colleges that are further out and are not in locations around the city that are routinely gritted in such conditions. There are reports of a Van Mildert student getting seriously injured and requiring surgery following a slip on the ice. With sleet and snow forecast for the week ahead, things do not look set to drastically improve. Durham residents and students alike are urged to take care to prevent more accidents occurring over the next few days.

MP triumphs over Plans for a new Durham youth lapdancing law centre George Stafford THE MP FOR the City of Durham, Roberta Blackman-Woods, was delighted last week to see success in her efforts to change the way lap-dancing clubs are licensed in the UK. Her interest in the subject arose last year, when proposals were put forward for such an establishment in Durham. Her wish to see more power given to local councils in the granting of licensing to VXFK FOXEV ZDV UHĂ HFWHG LQ WKH 4XHHQŇ‹V Speech last Wednesday, which outlined such a measure to be incorporated into legislation scheduled for Parliament next year. In August 2007 ‘Loft’ nightclub on North Road was granted a licence to have lapdancing three nights a week, causing uproar among local residents. Durham City Magistrates Court reversed the decision last December, but the ease with which the licence was originally granted led to a

national campaign by the local MP. Together with the group Object, Mrs Blackman-Woods MP campaigned to change the law so that it would be harder to open without the consent of the local community. Following a private member’s bill earlier this year, Mrs BlackmanWoods presented a petition to No.10 accompanied by parliamentary colleagues and members of Object. 9,000 signatures supported more say for local councils over the licensing of lap-dancing clubs. It is hoped that this change could halt the increase of new dancing clubs, which have doubled in number to over 300 in the UK since 2004. In a statement, Mrs Blackman-Woods said that she was “extremely pleased� with the plans, thanking the Home Secretary Jacqui Smith and the Leader of the Commons Harriet Harman for supporting her campaign.

Kimmie Fernside DURHAM CITY WILL see the opening of a new youth centre following the County Council’s decision to fund the upcoming project. MP Roberta Blackman-Woods is “really pleasedâ€? about the development of more youth facilities and services in the local area, which will respond to the community’s appeal for a “safe and relaxed place to ‘hang out’â€?. Venue4U aims to add diversity to the student scene; the non-alcoholic venue will house an internet cafĂŠ, a music room and tailored services for young people. The project evolved after youth discussions prompted the MP to assemble a working taskforce to set the scheme in motion. Amongst the organisations, charities and individuals constituting in the project’s taskforce, are Durham City Centre Youth Project (DCCYP), Connexions, Moving On and Durham County Council.

The Council’s grant will contribute towards the lease of the property for the forthcoming year. Once open, the DCCYP will oversee the running of daily operations in the centre, in which the facilities and services will be continually reviewed and updated as Roberta plans to re-commence discussions after the holidays. The new project could encourage further student contribution to the local community, as SCA Manager Lorna Taylor KDV FRQĂ€GHQFH WKDW ´WKH PRUH YROXQWHHUV the better – we’d love students to get inYROYHGÂľ DOWKRXJK DW SUHVHQW QR GHĂ€QLWH plans have been made. Despite the Council’s substantial contribution to “enable the project to go aheadâ€?, funding is still needed for other expenses such as the interior furnishing. Roberta extends her request for sponsorship to any organisations; private companies or individuals who would like to facilitate the formal launch of the project.

2 C X >

Tuesday 9 December 2008 palatinate.org.uk

Got a scoop? news@palatinate.org.uk

NEWS 3

E<NJ

Week-long binge drink event cancelled Alice Foster THIS MONDAY WAS meant to be the start of what was being billed as a week with ‘35 Hours of Party!’. However last week the 7 day, 7 venue Outlive event was cancelled mainly due to, as sources familiar with the situation said, complaints from Durham University to some of the companies and venues cited to be involved. 3RVWHUV DQG Ă \HUV KDYH EHHQ DSSHDUing this term this asking ‘Could you handle it‌?’, offering free entry to clubs and discounted drinks if you bought the organisers’ wristband for ÂŁ10. Now, however, all trace of this event, organised by Pigshock, has vanished from both Facebook and their website. )RU WKH )ULGD\ QLJKW WKH Ă \HU DGYHUtised discounted drinks at your college, or as they spelt it ‘collage’, bar from 8pm. DSU brought this to the attention of Chris

+XWFKLVRQ WKH 8QLYHUVLW\ &LW\ /LDLVRQ 2IĂ€cer, who, having checked with SCR presidents, found that this claim was false. Given that college bars have a cap on the prices of their drinks, reducing these is discouraged. In addition, money raised was meant to be going to Cancer Research UK and, as Chris Hutchison commented, although the charity welcomes donations he “would be surprised if they wish to be associated with essentially a binge drinking event.â€? (PPD &DUWHU '68 :HOIDUH RIĂ€FHU was concerned that the event was 7 days long with promotional drinks, which goes against alcohol awareness. She stressed, however, that the point of the Easy Tiger campaign was to know your limits rather than promote not drinking at all. After contacting Trading Standards, a University wide email was sent out on 26 November warning that college drinks were not in fact discounted. It is unknown

what, if any, action Trading Standards are taking . It has been suggested to Palatinate that those behind the Outlive brand decided to cancel as they had felt pushed into a corner because of the complaints from the University. In addition, they did not want to upset regular sponsors and venues. It is hoped that re-arranging will provide WLPH WR ZRUN RXW Ă€QHU GHWDLOV This week the twin Outlive event in Newcastle is going ahead. An advantage in the larger town is there are more venues to choose from. There is, however, one night of ‘party’ as organised by Pigshock surviving in Durham. Banished 4 is still happening this Wednesday at Loveshack with free goodie bag and local radio station DJs. According to the website, as we went to print, there were only 104 out of 1,200 wristbands left unsold. PHOTO: MARC PRITCHARD

Union Second Chance debate gives back to community

‘John the Maid’ retires DIWHU ÂżIW\ years at Castle

Ursula Hankinson

Max Waldron PHOTO: MAX WALDRON

LAST WEEK THE College Steward of &DVWOH -RKQ $WNLQ UHVLJQHG DIWHU Ă€IW\ years, ending a career that lasted almost a third of the University’s life. High Tea was held in the Great Hall as a token of the college’s thanks. ‘John the Maid’, as he is affectionately known by students, began work at Castle before the Master, Maurice Tucker, had

even graduated. Though head of the catering staff, he was known for his entertaining presence at formal dinners. His cutting humour, as well as a reputation for remembering the faces and names of every Castleman has earned him the greatest respect. He even has a Facebook group proclaiming him as “the original Castle legend�.

A college institution in himself, John was awarded an MBE in 2002 for his services to higher education. Despite proclaiming his imminent retirement for the last few years, he has offered to continue overseeing formals for the near future.

THIS FRIDAY SAW the culmination of eight weeks’ hard work and training, resulting in a debate held in the Union Society chamber. The Second Chance debate is a unique rehabilitation project run by the Union Society, Team Durham and the Tyneside Cyrenians, a Newcastle Charity which aims to empower those who have previously faced social marginalisation. Through a series of workshops the project offers them the chance to voice their own opinions. In Friday’s debate, individuals were given the opportunity to use their new skills in front of an audience of students, academLFV DQG FRPPXQLW\ ÀJXUHV A group of eight people, including two Durham students, debated the motion that alcohol is more dangerous than illegal drugs. Those proposing the motion, Dawn Dakers, Mark Thompson, Sarah Campbell

Iran sponsor democracy seminar in Durham (cont’d.) in order to keep this ‘religious democracy’ in place. Meanwhile, the Islamic Republic holds international conferences, at which European neo-Nazis are invited to promote Holocaust denial.� Iran’s sponsorship of a seminar in Durham is reminiscent of the controversy that ensued when SOAS accepted a donation from the Iranian government in 1999, raising concerns about academic integrity. Since then, diplomatic relations between Iran and the West have suffered due to Iran’s determination to pursue nuclear

capability in the face of international pressure. In particular, Britain’s relationship with Iran took a body blow last year when 15 British naval personnel were captured by the Iranian military in Iraqi waters. Concerns may also be roused by the way that the seminar has been presented on university listings. The Iranian Cultural Consul’s characterisation of the event as a discussion of Iranian democracy will come as a surprise to any student who noticed the details of the event on the university website’s ‘What’s On?’ page, or on the

events page of the School of Government and International Affairs, which provides RQO\ WKH WLWOH RI WKH Ă€UVW OHFWXUH RI VHYHUDO which are part of the seminar: ‘Professor Charles Melville, Director of Oriental Studies in Pembroke College, Cambridge will deliver this Public Lecture: “The right to rule and power to command in Ferdowsi’s Shahnamehâ€?’. Indeed, the event is listed as part of the ‘Ferdowsi lecture series’ Ferdowsi being a Persian poet of around 1000AD. On the University listings, Iran’s spon-

and Phil Alexander, argued that as the problems alcohol generates are masked. They criticised popular attitudes towards alcohol, encouraged by cheap deals on drinks, offers for women in bars and clubs and the lack of rehabilitation facilities. The opposition, Tim Finlay, Lindsey Johnson, Thane McQueen and Nick Dennis, highlighted the effects of drugs, especially in countries such as Colombia and Afghanistan, where large numbers are exploited in the production of illegal substances. After both sides battled it out, using the skills they had recently developed, the opposition won the motion by a considerable majority. Peter Warburton, of Team Durham, praised the group for their progress and said that he would miss the project’s ‘banter’. He continued, “Durham is about exceptional people doing exceptional things and this project is just that.â€? At the end of the evening all those who SDUWLFLSDWHG ZHUH SUHVHQWHG ZLWK D FHUWLĂ€cate by the Mayor of Durham.

cont’d from front page

VRUVKLS LV QRW FOHDU 7KH RIĂ€FLDO OLVWLQJV UHfer variously to “the Cultural Centre of Iran (UK)â€? and “The Cultural Centre of IR Iran UKâ€? - in both cases the term ‘Islamic Republic’ has is either absent or only represented by initials, which could be mistaken for ‘International Relations’. Vice-Chancellor, Prof. Chris Higgins acNQRZOHGJHG WKDW WKH OLVWLQJ LV ´VLJQLĂ€FDQWO\ misleadingâ€? and said that the website will be corrected. David Toube continued: “Iran has a history of organising ‘cultural events’ at British

Universities, in order to provide it with the appearance of respectability. I very much hope that Durham hasn’t been suckered into one of these scams.� Prof. Higgins, however, reiterated the sentiment of Dr Molavi’s statement: “This is a normal academic conference and the University is proud to embrace freedom of speech and ideas from around the world, and to hold such conferences on controversial but important subjects.�

GET INVOLVED We are always looking for fresh talent in every section of the paper, from writing to editing to taking photos. If you want to see how you can help, email editor@ palatinate.org.uk and we can point you in the right direction.

Next edition out Tuesday 9 December Christmas comes early with Fittest Fresher!

2 C X >

Tuesday 9 December 2008 palatinate.org.uk

Got a scoop? news@palatinate.org.uk

NEWS

5

E<NJ

SCA goes festive

PRESIDENT’S COLUMNANDY WELCH

HSUHVHQWDWLRQ , VSHQG PRUH of my time on this than anything else, but what does LW PHDQ" 7R PH LW PHDQV , KDYH WR À JXUH RXW ZKDW VWXGHQWV DW Durham from over a hundred different FRXQWULHV DQG DQ DUUD\ EDFNJURXQGV WKLQN Sometimes this is quite VWUDLJKWIRUZDUG VXFK DV ODVW ZHHN ZKHQ , UHSUHVHQWHG 'XUKDP VWXGHQWV E\ FRPSODLQLQJ RQ WKHLU EHKDOI WR WKH council about their failure to grit busy SDYHPHQWV DQG IRRWSDWKV OHDGLQJ to some nasty accidents and many GHOD\V , DP IDLUO\ FHUWDLQ WKDW ZH FDQ all agree that this is something that QHHGV LPSURYLQJ +RZHYHU ZKDW YLHZ VKRXOG , WDNH LI VRPHWKLQJ ZHUH WR KDSSHQ WKDW ZRXOG EHQHÀ W VRPH VWXGHQWV DW WKH H[SHQVH RI RWKHUV" :KDW LI WR PDNH FOHDU WKLV LV D K\SRWKHWLFDO H[DPSOH DQG QRW DFWXDOO\ JRLQJ WR KDSSHQ

&ROOLQJZRRG ZHUH JRLQJ WR WDNH RYHU *UH\Ň‹V WHQQLV FRXUWV :RXOG , KDYH WR VXSSRUW &ROOLQJZRRG DV WKH\ DUH ELJJHU DQG WKHUHIRUH UHSUHVHQW WKH PDMRULW\ RSLQLRQ RU *UH\ DV WKH\ ZRXOG EH D GLVDGYDQWDJHG PLQRULW\" $QVZHUV WR WKLV RQH RQ D SRVWFDUG WR 'XQHOP house! 6RPHWLPHV RSSRUWXQLWLHV WR UHSUHVHQW VWXGHQWV FRPH WR PH VXFK DV WKH GUDIWLQJ RI WKH 8QLYHUVLW\Ň‹V QHZ VWUDWHJLF SODQV , KDYH EHHQ PDNLQJ VXUH WKDW VWXGHQWV DQG WKHLU QHHGV IHDWXUH LQ LW 2WKHU WLPHV VWXGHQWV FRPH WR PH ZLWK LVVXHV WKH\ ZDQW WR EH UHSUHVHQWHG RQ VXFK DV LQWHUQDWLRQDO VWXGHQWV KDYLQJ FRQFHUQV RYHU WKH QHZ JRYHUQPHQW ODZV RQ LPPLJUDWLRQ ,I \RX KDYH DQ\ ZRUULHV FRQFHUQV RU LVVXHV \RX WKLQN , VKRXOG EH ZRUNLQJ RQ SOHDVH OHW PH NQRZ <RX FDQ HPDLO PH GVX SUHVLGHQW#GXUKDP DF XN RU FRPH DQG VHH PH LQ P\ RIĂ€ FH RQ WKH WRS Ă RRU RI 'XQHOP KRXVH ,W LV P\ MRE WR UHSUHVHQW \RX :KLOH , DP KHUH WKDQNV WR HYHU\RQH ZKR YRWHG LQ WKH 186 HOHFWLRQV WKH UHVXOWV DUH QRZ RQOLQH RQ WKH '68 ZHEVLWH DQG , KRSH \RX DOO KDYH D UHOD[LQJ &KULVWPDV KROLGD\

R

Frances Main 678'(17 &20081,7< $&7,21ҋ6 DQ QXDO 6KRHER[ $SSHDO VWDUWHG LQ VW\OH ODVW ZHHN ,Q DQ 6&$ À UVW WKLV \HDUҋV DSSHDO ZLOO IHDWXUH D Ҋ6KRHER[ 6WDOOҋ LQ WKH PDUNHW SODFH WR HQFRXUDJH 'XUKDP UHVLGHQWV WR GRQDWH $OO SUHVHQWV FROOHFWHG ZLOO EH GLVWULEXWHG to children in the region by local charity, &KLOGUHQ 1RUWK (DVW Head fundraiser for Children North East, &DURO 7D\ORU LV H[SHFWLQJ LQFUHDVHG QHHG for assistance this Christmas due to rising fuel bills, and the effect of the credit FUXQFK

6KH VDLG ´,W FDQ EH GLIĂ€ FXOW WR WHOO FKLO GUHQ WKDW 6DQWD FDQŇ‹W FRPH WKLV \HDU DV \RXU FKRLFH LV WR NHHS \RXU KRXVH KHDWHG RU EX\ SUHVHQWVÂľ ,Q IDFW WKH 1RUWK (DVW KDV WKH ZRUVW Ă€ JXUHV LQ WKH FRXQWU\ IRU FKLOG SRYHUW\ RXWVLGH /RQGRQ There are a variety of reasons families FDQ EH OHIW XQDEOH WR DIIRUG &KULVWPDV )RU PDQ\ WKH SUREOHPV DUH ZLWK GUXJV DOFR hol or debt, but in the words of a father of WKUHH ´1RQH RI ZKDWŇ‹V KDSSHQHG WR XV LV WKH >FKLOGUHQŇ‹V@ IDXOW 7KDQN \RX IRU KHOS LQJ DQG QRW MXGJLQJ XVÂľ &KLOGUHQ 1RUWK (DVW DOVR ZRUNV ZLWK IDPLOLHV ZKR KDYH UHFHQWO\ Ă HG GRPHVWLF DEXVH OLYLQJ LQ WHPSRUDU\ DFFRPPRGD tion with just enough money to cover the

3+272 0$; :$/'521

costs of day-to-day living, these families FDQQRW FHOHEUDWH &KULVWPDV ZLWKRXW KHOS 7KH 6KRHER[ $SSHDO LV HVSHFLDOO\ ORRNLQJ IRU SUHVHQWV IRU WHHQDJHUV 0DQ\ \RXQJ SHRSOH DFURVV WKH UHJLRQ ZLOO EH living alone this Christmas, because their SDUHQWV KDYH DVNHG WKHP WR OHDYH KRPH or they have recently left the care sysWHP Ms Taylor told Palatinate that shoeboxHV ´PDNH WKHP IHHO WKDW VRPHRQH FDUHV HQRXJK WR PDNH WKHLU &KULVWPDV D OLWWOH EHWWHU¾ For more information contact your SCA College Rep, or e-mail community. action@durham.ac.uk.

/DZ 6RFLHW\ KRVW H[ FRQ WXUQHG SDUROH RIÂż FHU >> Palatinate gets a law student’s report of the Law Society Liberty Address Vincent McAviney THERE COMES A POINT in all of our degrees when we just forget why we chose WR VWXG\ RXU VXEMHFWV LQ WKH Ă€ UVW SODFH 6RPHWLPHV \RX KDYH WR VWRS DQG WKLQN DERXW ZKDW Ă€ UVW VSXUUHG \RX RQ WR JR through all of those GCSEs, A-Levels and IUR]HQ 'XNH RI (GLQEXUJK WULSV MXVW VR \RX FRXOG VHQG LQ WKDW 8&$6 IRUP 7KLV SDVW ZHHN KRZHYHU D VWUDQJHU UH minded me why I choose Law as my subject: Bob Turney, a man who never studLHG ODZ EXW VSHQW WZHQW\ \HDUV RI KLV OLIH on the wrong side of it, was invited to give WKH DQQXDO /DZ 6RFLHW\ /LEHUW\ $GGUHVV Described by Baroness Helena Kennedy 4& DV ´D WUXH FKDPSLRQ RI KXPDQ ULJKW LQ WKH SHQDO V\VWHP Âľ 7XUQH\ EHJDQ KLV JXHVW OHFWXUH WLWOHG ŇŠ8QORFNLQJ 3RWHQWLDOŇ‹ E\ DVNLQJ WKH JDWKHUHG ODZ VWXGHQWV MXVW how many had themselves been victims RI FULPHV LQ WKH SDVW , VWRSSHG P\ QRWH WDNLQJ DQG UDLVHG P\ KDQG DORQJ ZLWK MXVW RYHU KDOI RI P\ SHHUV LQ WKH KDOO Turney went on to offer no excuses for KLV SDVW RIIHQFHV ZKLFK UDQJHG IURP DV VDXOW WR DUPHG UREEHU\ +H LV KRZHYHU OLY ing evidence that the criminal justice sys-

tem does have some success in changing WKH FRXUVH RI RIIHQGHUVŇ‹ OLYHV DQG WKDW UHKDE LV QRW PHUHO\ D SODFH WR EXPS LQWR FHOHEULWLHV LQ QHHG RI D OLWWOH UHVW %URXJKW XS LQ ZKDW VRFLDO VHUYLFHV ZRXOG QRZ FDOO D ŇŠG\VIXQFWLRQDOŇ‹ IDPLO\ Turney suffered from severe dyslexia at a time when the condition was only just EHLQJ UHDOLVHG DQG UHFRJQLVHG :LWK KLV WHDFKHUV VLPSO\ UHIHUULQJ WR KLP DV ŇŠ7KH ,GLRW %R\Ň‹ LQ KRPDJH WR .LSOLQJŇ‹V SRHP WKH \RXQJ 7XUQH\ WULHG DQ\WKLQJ SRVVLEO\ WR JHW KLPVHOI RXW RI WKH FODVVURRP )URP IDNLQJ LOOQHVVHV WR WKH H[WHQW RI KDYLQJ KLV DSSHQGL[ UHPRYHG ZKHQ KH GXPEIRXQGHG GRFWRUV WR WDNLQJ XS ER[LQJ 7XUQH\ IRXQG WKH SK\VLFDO SDLQ IDU PRUH DSSHDOLQJ WR EHLQJ SV\FKRORJLFDOO\ EDWWHUHG E\ KLV XQ V\PSDWKHWLF WHDFKHUV LQ WKH FODVVURRP 8SRQ OHDYLQJ VFKRRO DW Ă€ IWHHQ ZLWK QR TXDOLĂ€ FDWLRQV DQG SURVSHFWV 7XUQH\ ZDV WDNHQ ZLWK WKH DSSDUHQW DOOXUH RI WKH VXLW HG VXDYH HDVW HQG FULPLQDOV H[SODLQLQJ “I never embraced crime, I was more or OHVV HQJXOIHG E\ LW Âľ 7XUQH\ GLGQŇ‹W OHDG this seemingly glamorous criminal existence for long; he was arrested for the Ă€ UVW WLPH IRU DVVDXOW LQ D SXE Ă€ JKW DQG ODQGHG LQ SULVRQ ZLWKLQ WKH VDPH WZHQW\

IRXU KRXUV ´<RX GRQŇ‹W KDYH D )UHVKHUV :HHN LQ SULVRQÂľ PXVHG 7XUQH\ EXW DIWHU his chaotic home life, he now had now arULYHG LQ D SODFH ZKHUH KH IHOW FRPIRUWDEOH IRU WKH Ă€ UVW WLPH OLNH JHQHUDWLRQV RI GLVDI IHFWHG \RXQJ PHQ LQ SULVRQ 7XUQH\ ZDV JLYHQ WKH DWWHQWLRQ KH KDG EHHQ GHSULYHG RII 7KLV QHZ IRXQG VDIHW\ VWUXFWXUH DQG ODFN RI UHVSRQVLELOLW\ ZDV DGGLFWLYH IRU %RE and over the next twenty years he comSOHWHG D IXOO WRXU RI KHU PDMHVW\Ň‹V FRUUHF WLYH UHVLGHQFHV

“You don’t have a Freshers Week in prison.â€? 'XULQJ WKLV SHULRG 7XUQH\ OLNH VR PDQ\ RWKHUV IHOO LQWR DGGLFWLRQ 7KH PRVW GLIĂ€ cult times in his life, though, were the short SHULRGV ZKHQ KH ZDV UHOHDVHG EDFN LQWR VRFLHW\ ´SXW \RXUVHOYHV LQ P\ SRVLWLRQ LI you left this lecture hall with no money or SODFH WR JR ZKDW ZRXOG \RX GR"Âľ 7XUQH\ admits to becoming institutionalised, one of the main dangers of the current criminal justice system, and regaled us with stories

RI FRPPLWWLQJ UHFNOHVV FULPHV RQ WKH GD\ RI KLV UHOHDVH MXVW WR JHW SXW EDFN EHKLQG EDUV E\ QLJKW )LQDOO\ DIWHU EHLQJ UHOHDVHG IRU WKH Ă€ QDO WLPH LQ ´VLFN DQG WLUHG RI EHLQJ VLFN DQG WLUHG Âľ 7XUQH\ DWWHPSWHG VXLFLGH LQ D SXEOLF WRLOHW EXW ZDV VDYHG E\ D JRRG VDPDULWDQ ´, ZDV D IDLOXUH >,@ FRXOGQŇ‹W HYHQ NLOO P\VHOI 0\ IDWKHU PDQDJHG LW , IRXQG WKH ERG\ Âľ $W WKLV SRLQW 7XUQH\Ň‹V OLIH FKDQJHG $IWHU WKH ZRUVW VWDUW DW KRPH DQG SULVRQ RIIHULQJ QHLWKHU UHIRUP QRU UHV titution but safe harbour from a world in ZKLFK KH GLG QRW KDYH D SODFH 7XUQH\ ZDV WUDQVIHUUHG WR D QHZ UHKDELOLWDWLRQ FHQWUH )LQDOO\ VREHU DQG JLYHQ KLV RZQ DFFRP modation within the centre to start rebuildLQJ KLV OLIH 7XUQH\ KDG WR IDFH XS WR KLV GHPRQV DQG DEDQGRQ KLV GHSHQGHQF\ RQ SULVRQ On the road to recovery Turney sights his saviour as his wife of over twenty years, a “young woman who brought me through LW DQG LQWR WKH PLGGOH FODVV Âľ 6KH ZDV WKH Ă€ UVW SHUVRQ 7XUQH\ HYHU FRQIHVVHG KLV G\VOH[LD WR DQG IURP WKH SXUH DGRUDWLRQ LQ KLV YRLFH LW ZDV DSSDUHQW WR DOO WKDW VKH ZDV WKH PDLQ UHDVRQ IRU KLV UHIRUPDWLRQ :LWK D VWDEOH MRE DQG D IDPLO\ RI KLV RZQ

Turney saw an advert ten years ago for volunteers to assist with alcohol study JURXSV DQG LQ WKH VSLULW RI JLYLQJ EDFN KH VXFFHVVIXOO\ DSSOLHG 7KURXJK WKH FRXUVH RI WKH VHVVLRQV %RE SURYHG KLPVHOI WR EH D JUHDW PHQWRU DQG ZDV DVNHG E\ WKH RUJDQ izer if he had ever thought of becoming a SUREDWLRQ RIĂ€ FHU 7KLQNLQJ WKDW KH ZDV RQO\ MRNLQJ %RE GLVPLVVHG WKH LGHD EXW KLV ZLIH HQFRXUDJHG WKH LGHD MRNLQJ WKDW KH ZDV RYHU TXDOLĂ€ HG ZLWK KLV FULPLQDO UHFRUG 7HQ \HDUV RQ 7XUQH\ LV D SUREDWLRQ RIĂ€ F er with 2:2 degree from Reading University LQ IRUHQVLF VRFLDO ZRUN D SXEOLVKHG DXWKRU D EURDGFDVWHU DQG D SXEOLF VSHDNHU +LV SDUWLFXODU VWRU\ PD\ EH H[WUDRUGLQDU\ DQG LQVSLULQJ EXW KH LV E\ QR PHDQV DORQH LQ EHLQJ UHIRUPHG E\ SULVRQ 2IWHQ FULWLFLVHG for fostering criminal education and not FLWL]HQU\ SULVRQ UHPDLQV LQ 7XUQH\Ň‹V YLHZ the only solution, but there is much room IRU LPSURYHPHQW SDUWLFXODUO\ LQ FRPPX QLW\ VHUYLFH VFKHPHV Between the essays, tutorials, deadlines and dissertation it is easy to lose the exFLWHPHQW DQG SDVVLRQ \RX RQFH KDG IRU your subject but listening to Bob Turney UHPLQGHG XV \RXQJ ODZ\HUV RI WKH LPSRU WDQFH DQG SHUYDVLYHQHVV RI RXU RZQ

6 NEWS FEATURES

Got a News Features idea? news@palatinate.org.uk

Tuesday 9 December 2008 palatinate.org.uk

E<NJ =<8KLI<J

Plans for uni reforms a step too far? >> Would two-year degree courses be a good way of limiting the ever-increasing student debt? investigates. IT SEEMS LIKE only yesterday that Labour’s government was declaring that one of its priorities was ‘Education, Education, Education’. However, for current university students throughout the country the slogan ‘Debt, Debt, Debt’ sadly seems more appropriate. For many students, following the introduction of variable tuition fees, university debt seems to be spiralling out RI FRQWURO 7KH UHFHQW Ă€QDQFLDO FULVLV KDV since made the problem worse, as many students struggle not only to fund their university courses but also to cope with rising living costs. Whilst political spiel has tried to counter-criticise through focusing upon maintenance grants, it was revealed only the other week that drastic cuts are to be PDGH WR WKH Ă€QDQFLDO VXSSRUW DYDLODEOH After failing to correctly estimate the number of students that would qualify for government support, the Department for Innovation, Universities and Skills (Dius) was forced to admit that they are suffering from a shortfall of ÂŁ200 million after wrongly estimating the number of eligible applicants.

Whilst the upper limit for family incomes was £60,000 at the beginning of 2008, it will now be reduced to £50,020. The department originally stated that approximately 40,000 students would be affected. It appears, however, as though further miscalculations have been made, as the Conservative party suggests at least 130,000 students will lose out. At the same time, a think-tank has proposed getting rid of the cap on tuition fees altogether, which would enable universities to increase them by thousands. Although current university students will not have their funding cut, it appears as though the situation is only going to get worse. Where then, we ask ourselves, is the situation going to end up and how are we going to deal with it? One professor thinks that he has come up with an ideal solution to the problem. Geoffrey Alderman, a professor at the University of Buckingham, estimates that tuition fees could eventually reach £6,000 per annum. Professor Alderman proposes that the ÀUVW VWHS WRZDUGV GHDOLQJ ZLWK WKH LQFUHDVH

is to change university courses from three years to two. He suggests that “most bachelor’s SURJUDPPHV FRXOG HDVLO\ EH UHFRQĂ€JXUHG in this way, without any loss of content or lowering of standards.â€? He said that a two-year degree would not have to result in a “loss of contentâ€? as it would be taught throughout the year. However, this means that university students’ summer vacation would be considerably shortened, making trips abroad and work experience placements GLIĂ€FXOW WR Ă€W LQ Tom Nickels, a fourth-year from St. Aidan’s, said: “I wouldn’t be a fan of a twoyear degree. It would put students under too much pressure trying to do so much in a short amount of time. As a languages student, it would make be particularly GLIĂ€FXOW WR WU\ DQG Ă€W HYHU\WKLQJ LQ “University would be also become less valid as a social experience. I bet Bill Bryson wouldn’t agree with it!â€? Mr Alderman also asks “why “goâ€? to university to obtain a degreeâ€? and instead recommends “company-based apprenticeshipsâ€? where students can “pick up a degree on the

way.â€? Whilst arguments certainly exist for apprenticeship-based learning, it seems that the wider appeal of university life is being forgotten about. A large part of the university experience lies in meeting a range of new people and becoming independent. The experience gained from getting involved with extra-curricular activities is also considered invaluable by companies as competition within the employment PDUNHW JHWV LQFUHDVLQJO\ Ă€HUFH DQG employers look beyond academic achievements to distinguish between potential candidates. Tom Davie, the Deputy Head of Durham University’s Careers Advisory Service, said: “The value of undertaking Higher Education is that it gives people an opportunity to develop skills and personal maturity form a variety of activities which employers value alongside academic knowledge. This contributes to students gaining more challenging careers in the workplace.â€? Student debt is also forcing increasing numbers of students to apply to

Helen White

universities closer to where they live, proving that some form of action clearly needs to be taken. The poll showed that 53% of students from poorer households chose to attend a local university due to Ă€QDQFLDO UHVWUDLQWV “Therefore, although MP John Denham, VHFUHWDU\ RI 'LXV EHOLHYHV WKDW ´Ă€QDQFH should not present a practical barrier to students wishing to study at universityâ€?, equal access still has not been achieved. More students are also taking on parttime employment during term-time in an attempt to fund university life and many feel that this is having a detrimental effect upon their academic studies. Concerns over charges added to graduate overdrafts have also be overturned after the National Union of Students won campaign against HSBC. Whilst some of students may feel somewhat uneasy about where the future of Higher Education is going, Durham students can hopefully come away from university as more well-rounded individuals and forget for a moment about WKH JURZLQJ Ă€QDQFLDO WDJ DWWDFKHG WR WKH experience.

Science vs Arts: the great debate >> Regards employability, do science or arts students come out on top? Adam Painter investigates. Whether you study an arts or science degree, and where you study it, have huge implications for your future prospects new research suggests. Students studying science degrees at research-led or 1994 group universities have a 31.7% chance of earning ÂŁ30-50,000 compared to 16% of arts students. Part of this group of universities is Durham University along with York and Bath. Russell Group universities include Oxford, Cambridge and Manchester. The study subsequently found that in other universities the difference between science and arts students with the same earning potential was 12.7% and 8% respectively, thus much lower than their counterparts. Representatives from the “newerâ€? universities however, were not completely KDSS\ ZLWK WKH VWXG\Ň‹V Ă€QGLQJV 'HLDQ Hopkin, vice-chancellor of London South Bank University said: “What is important is whether the researchers looked at the HFRQRPLF JHQGHU DQG UDFLDO SURĂ€OH RI XQLversities. ´, WKLQN \RX ZLOO Ă€QG WKDW WKH UHVHDUFK LQtensive universities have the least diverse student body, and they score least well for widening participation. They are also less racially mixed and have the lowest proportion of part-time students.â€? 1HYHUWKHOHVV WKH Ă€JXUHV VHHP WR VSHDN for themselves as the trend is completely evident across all undergraduate degree subjects. Apart from education, therefore the university you attend can play as big a role as the type of degree you study. Rather than being new or revolutionary

the study used previous data that included limited student surveys and logs of where students actually ended up after graduation. For “newerâ€? universities which include former polytechnics and those not within the two groups, it was also suggested that there should be more emphasis on ofIHULQJ VSHFLĂ€F WKLQJV VWXGHQWV ZDQWHG WR study within their degrees. In contrast 1994 and Russell group universities placed more emphasis on the reputation of their institution as well as the course and its employment prospects. The president of the National Union of Students, Wes Streeting, said: “It is very pleasing to note the striking similarity in employment rates for graduates from all types of institution, three and a half years after leaving university. It is no surprise that graduates from research-intensive institutions go on to earn more on average. However, we need to remember that these returns are far IURP JXDUDQWHHG VR WKHVH Ă€JXUHV FDQQRW be used to back up the argument for institutions to set their own fees.â€? It is evident that certain courses can yield different results. When choosing to study an arts or a science degree the VWXGHQWŇ‹V SHUVRQDO SURĂ€OH DFKLHYHPHQWV attributes and work experience often play equally productive roles regarding employment opportunities. It would be naĂŻve to assume that students go into the university application process completely unaware of the weight certain subjects may have, when pursuing VXEMHFW VSHFLĂ€F YRFDWLRQV

The study and subsequent debate has also been accompanied by a report from a Right wing think-tank. It suggests that students are “spoon fedâ€? and prefer the “X Factor to A gradesâ€?. The report concurs that recent falling standards in schools as well as a testing culture has meant that many students “lack the attitude and skills needed for the workplace.â€? As a result “personal responsibilityâ€? has been removed from the system. The report focuses on school students rather than university graduates questioning the relHYDQFH RI WKH UHSRUWŇ‹V Ă€QGLQJV IRU FXUUHQW students. The research itself was limited only to a certain number of graduates and did QRW Ă€QG WRR PXFK RXW DERXW WKH H[DFW GLIferences between universities in each of these “eliteâ€? groups and that of each individual course. Whether a science degree is worth more than an arts degree from the same institution is obviously the debate that arises from the headline research. Many past students from both backgrounds will have huge differences themselves in what they earn and as it has been noted simply placing the content of your degree above anything else can be misleading. It is rumoured that Microsoft and the Conservative party are working to devise D V\VWHP ZKLFK SURĂ€OHV WKH HDUQLQJ SRtential of students from each university. Maybe Bill Gates and David Cameron will have the answer...

PHOTO: BEN MOORFOOT

2 C X >

Tuesday 9 December 2008 palatinate.org.uk

Got a News Features idea? news@palatinate.org.uk

NEWS FEATURES 7

E<NJ =<8KLI<J

Staying safe on the slopes >> Thinking of going away this holiday for some winter sporting action? With winter holidays ever more popular, do we put enough steps in place to be prepared in the event of an accident? Jess Pauley provides us with some essential travel tips. THE FINAL ESSAY is almost Ă€QLVKHG WKH &KULVWPDV IRUPDO KDV EHHQ DQG JRQH DQG 6WDUEXFNV KDYH VWDUWHG VHUYLQJ JLQJHUEUHDG ODWWH 7KH VNL VHDVRQ LV GHĂ€QLWHO\ XSRQ XV ,I \RX KDYH D WULS SODQQHG WR WKH VORSHV ZKHWKHU LW EH D FROOHJH WULS WKH XQLYHUVLW\ WULS RU HYHQ MXVW JRLQJ ZLWK IULHQGV DQG IDPLO\ LW LV LPSRUWDQW WKDW \RX WDNH D IHZ VWHSV WR JXDUDQWHH \RXU UHWXUQ WR (SLSKDQ\ 7HUP LQ 7KH )RUHLJQ &RPPRQZHDOWK 2IĂ€FH )&2 KDV UHFHQWO\ LVVXHG HVVHQWLDO WUDYHO DGYLFH WR VWXGHQWV SODQQLQJ D ZLQWHU VSRUWV EUHDN $Q HVWLPDWHG LQ %ULWLVK VNLHUV VXIIHUV DQ LQMXU\ RQ WKH VORSHV DQG ZLWKRXW WKH FRUUHFW WUDYHO LQVXUDQFH LQ SODFH WKH GDPDJH FRXOG EH YHU\ H[SHQVLYH $V SDUW RI LWV ŇŠ.QRZ %HIRUH <RX *RŇ‹ FDPSDLJQ WKH )&2 LV XUJLQJ VNLHUV DQG VQRZERDUGHUV WR EH EHWWHU SUHSDUHG EHIRUH HPEDUNLQJ RQ VXFK WULSV $OLFH 'UDSHU IURP WKH )&2 VDLG ´<RX PLJKW WKLQN LWŇ‹V MXVW DQRWKHU H[WUD FRVW EXW LW FRXOG VDYH \RX D ORW RI PRQH\ LQ WKH ORQJ UXQ LI \RX DUHQŇ‹W SURSHUO\ LQVXUHG DQG \RX KDYH DQ DFFLGHQW RU EHFRPH

“If you aren’t properly insured and you have an accident or become ill, you’ll have to foot the billâ€? LOO \RXŇ‹OO KDYH WR IRRW WKH ELOO ZKLFK FRXOG UXQ LQWR WKRXVDQGV RI SRXQGV Âľ 6KH FRQWLQXHG ´$V VNLLQJ FDQ EH IRXQG DOO RYHU WKH ZRUOG LWŇ‹V DOVR LPSRUWDQW WR UHVHDUFK WKH FRXQWU\ \RXŇ‹UH YLVLWLQJ )RU H[DPSOH PDQ\ %ULWV WDNH DGYDQWDJH RI WKH JUHDW GHDOV WKDW FDQ EH IRXQG RQ ZLQWHU VSRUWV KROLGD\V WR $QGRUUD EXW IHZ UHDOLVH WKDW WKH WLQ\ SULQFLSDOLW\ LV QRW D IXOO PHPEHU

RI WKH (8 ZKLFK PHDQV WKDW WKH (XURSHDQ +HDOWK ,QVXUDQFH &DUG (+,& LV QRW YDOLG ´:KLOH FRPSUHKHQVLYH LQVXUDQFH LV HVVHQWLDO LQ HYHU\ FRXQWU\ ZLWKRXW LW LQ $QGRUUD \RX ZLOO EH HQWLWOHG WR QR XSIURQW PHGLFDO FRYHU DW DOO LQ WKH HYHQW RI DQ DFFLGHQW ¾ :KHQ \RX DUH DZD\ HVSHFLDOO\ LI \RX DUH UHQWLQJ VNL JHDU PDNH VXUH WKDW \RX DUH DOZD\V EHLQJ JLYHQ JRRG TXDOLW\

Tips for safe travel >> Get comprehensive travel insurance that covers you for everything you think you might do. If you’re planning on riding a moped or taking part in extreme sports, make sure you read the small print to check your insurance covers you

“if you break a leg on the Alps, a trip in the air ambulance and treatment could cost around ÂŁ10,000â€?

>> Take a record of key information (photocopy your passport, take your insurance details, and note your credit card number and cancellation details). Leave copies with friends and family and/or store them online using a secure data storage site

HTXLSPHQW 7DNH SOHQW\ RI OD\HUV DQG XVH D KLJK IDFWRU VXQVFUHHQ RQ \RXU IDFH ² D SHHOLQJ QRVH ZKLOVW SDUW\LQJ WKH QLJKW DZD\ LV QHYHU D JRRG ORRN :KHQ \RX Ă€QDOO\ PDNH LW RXW RQWR WKH VORSHV PDNH VXUH WKDW \RX DUH EHLQJ UHDOLVWLF DERXW \RXU DELOLW\ OHYHO (YHU\RQH OLNHV WR SXVK WKHPVHOYHV D ELW IXUWKHU HVSHFLDOO\ LI VNLLQJ ZLWK IULHQGV EXW \RX GRQŇ‹W ZDQW WR JHW LQWR D VLWXDWLRQ ZKHUH \RX DUH LQ GDQJHU $Q\RQH ZKR KDV EHHQ RQ D 8QLYHUVLW\ VNL WULS EHIRUH ZLOO NQRZ WKDW WKH WULS LV FHUWDLQO\ QRW MXVW DERXW WKH VNLLQJ 7KH DSUHV VNL QLJKWOLIH LV XVXDOO\ YHU\ HYHQWIXO DQG ZLWKRXW D GRXEW LQYROYHV D IDLU DPRXQW RI DOFRKRO FRQVXPSWLRQ :KDW PDQ\ SHRSOH PD\ QRW UHDOLVH WKRXJK LV WKDW DOFRKRO FDQ DIIHFW \RX PRUH DW KLJK DOWLWXGH DQG LI \RX LQMXUH \RXUVHOI ZKLOVW XQGHU WKH LQĂ XHQFH LW LV YHU\ OLNHO\ WKDW \RXU LQVXUDQFH SROLF\ ZLOO EH LQYDOLG 7KLV FRXOG HQG XS EHLQJ D YHU\ H[SHQVLYH VNLLQJ KROLGD\ ² LI \RX EUHDN D OHJ RQ WKH $OSV D WULS LQ DQ DLU DPEXODQFH DQG WUHDWPHQW FRXOG FRVW DURXQG Â…

>> If you are travelling within Europe, ensure you take your European Health Insurance Card (EHIC) card with you. This will entitle you to free or reduced cost emergency healthcare in most European countries. Remember though, this is not a replacement for insurance – you will need that as well

>> Register with the FCO’s LOCATE service. Registering details of your trip as well as emergency friend and family contact details will help WKH )&2 WR ¿QG \RX LQ WKH HYHQW RI a crisis and inform next of kin of your whereabouts. LOCATE can be found at www.fco.gov.uk/travel FLICKR ID: MUNSTERNET

BURSTING THE BUBBLE

by Ursula Hankinson

)/,&.5 ,' QHZ \RUN FLW\

Sex: the favourite winter warmer $V WKH FUHGLW FUXQFK KLWV PRUH %ULWRQV DUH WXUQLQJ WR VH[ DV D FKHDS ZD\ WR SDVV WKH WLPH 6H[ ZDV IRXQG WR EH WKH PRVW SRSX ODU IUHH DFWLYLW\ DKHDG RI ZLQGRZ VKRS SLQJ DQG JRLQJ WR D PXVHXP LQ D VXUYH\ FDUULHG RXW E\ WKH 7HUUHQFH +LJJLQV 7UXVW WR UHPLQG SHRSOH RI WKH GDQJHUV RI XQSUR WHFWHG VH[ /LVD 3RZHU RI WKH FKDULW\ VDLG Ҋ:HҋUH JODG WKDW SHRSOH DUH ÀQGLQJ ZD\V RI UHOLHY LQJ VRPH RI WKHLU FUHGLW FUXQFK ZRHV EXW LI WKHUHҋV RQH WKLQJ LWҋV ZRUWK IRUNLQJ RXW IRU LWҋV FRQGRPV ҋ

Young People These Days

‘Whopper Virgin’ Amy Winehouse taste challenge ‘on course’

$Q HPSOR\PHQW WULEXQDO LQ *ODVJRZ KDV UHMHFWHG DQ DJH GLVFULPLQDWLRQ FRPSODLQW E\ D WHHQDJHU ZKR IDLOHG WR WXUQ XS WR DQ LQ WHUYLHZ RQ WLPH 'DUUHQ 0LUUHQ ZKR LV FRPSODLQHG WKDW WKH 6SRWOHVV &RPPHUFLDO &OHDQLQJ &RPSDQ\ KDG WXUQHG KLP GRZQ IRU D MRE EHFDXVH KH GLG QRW VKRZ XS IRU D VFKHGXOHG LQWHUYLHZ +H FRPSODLQHG WKDW D SHUVRQ RI KLV DJH FRXOG QRW EH H[SHFWHG WR ÀQG DQ DGGUHVV XQOHVV WKH FRPSDQ\ ZKLFK LV RQO\ D VKRUW EXV MRXUQH\ IURP KLV KRPH JDYH KLP GLUHFWLRQV 7KH FRPSODLQW ZDV UHMHFWHG

7KH ODWHVW %XUJHU .LQJ DGYHUW KDV FRPH XQGHU KHDY\ FULWLFLVP ,Q WKH ŇŠ:KRSSHU 9LUJLQVŇ‹ FKDOOHQJH WKH IDVWIRRG FKDLQ GH VFULEHV KRZ LW ZHQW WR UXUDO DUHDV RI 5RPD QLD 7KDLODQG DQG *UHHQODQG WR FRPSDUH LWV :KRSSHU EXUJHU WR 0F'RQDOGVŇ‹ ´,I \RX ZDQW D UHDO RSLQLRQ DERXW D EXUJHU DVN VRPHRQH ZKR GRHVQŇ‹W HYHQ KDYH D ZRUG IRU EXUJHUÂľ &ULWLFV EHOLHYH WKH FDPSDLJQ LV H[SORLWDWLYH 6KDURQ $NDEDV RI WKH ,Q VLWLXWH RI +XPDQ 1XWULWLRQ VDLG ´:KDWŇ‹V QH[W" $UH ZH JRLQJ WR VWDUW WDNLQJ JXQV RXW WR VRPH RI WKHVH UHPRWH SODFHV DQG DVN WKHP ZKLFK RQH WKH\ OLNH EHWWHU"Âľ

7KH OLIH RI VLQJHU $P\ :LQHKRXVH LV WR EH XVHG DV WKH VHW WH[W IRU WKH 8QLYHUVLW\ RI WKH :HVW RI 6FRWODQGŇ‹V PXVLF FRXUVH +HU FDUHHU ZKLFK KDV EHHQ FKDUDFWHUL]HG E\ GUXJ DGGLFWLRQV HDWLQJ GLVRUGHUV DQG GUDPD LV WR EH XVHG DV DQ H[DPSOH RI WKH SRWHQWLDO SUREOHPV RI WKH LQGXVWU\ 7KLV FRPHV ZLWK VSHFXODWLRQ WKDW VKH DQG JDROHG KXVEDQG %ODNH )LHOGHU &LYLO ZLOO GLYRUFH +HU UHFRUG FRPSDQ\ ,VODQG LV SURYLGLQJ WKH WHDFKLQJ PDWHULDOV IRU WKH FRXUVH

2 C X >

Tuesday 9 Decemeber 2008 palatinate.org.uk

Read something contentious? editor@palatinate.org.uk

EDITORIAL & LETTERS

9

<;@KFI@8C

PALATINATE ISSUE 702 | TUESDAY 9 NOVEMBER 2008

MEETINGS

To rank, or not to rank? Let’s start by stating the obvious: the reason you picked up this paper is to ORRN DW WKH ÀW IUHVKHUV 7KHUH WKH\ DUH LQ DOO WKHLU EHDXWLIXO JORU\ LQ RXU KRPDJH WR 9DQLW\ )DLU RQ WKH FHQWUH VSUHDG $ERXW D PRQWK DJR ZH KDG D GHEDWH DOEHLW D EULHI RQH DERXW ZKHWKHU 3DODWLQDWH VKRXOG FRQWLQXH WR SULQW WKH DQQXDO )LWWHVW )UHVKHU FRPSHWLWLRQ RU VKRXOG UHMHFW LW DV VKDPHIXOO\ VKDOORZ DQG GLVUHVSHFWIXO :H à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ÀUVW SODFH LQGHHG RQ QLJKWV RXW RYHU WKH SDVW ZHHN DOO WKRVH LQYROYHG ZLWK WKH )LWWHVW )UHVKHU VKRRW KDYH EHHQ LQXQGDWHG ZLWK TXHVWLRQV DQG KDUDVVHG LQ FOXEV WR UHYHDO MXVW ZKR ZH WKLQN LV WKH EHVW SLHFH RI ҊIUHVK PHDWҋ RQ GLVSOD\ WKLV \HDU /RYHO\ ,Q DOO VHULRXVQHVV WKRXJK ZH NQRZ WKH UDQNLQJ LV JULP DQG LV SXUHO\ LQWHQGHG DV D ELW RI OLJKW KHDUWHG IXQ IRU WKRVH ZKR GHOLJKW LQ WKH VXSHUÀFLDOLW\ RI LW DOO &KDQJH WKH RUGHU LI \RX SOHDVH WKHUHҋ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ҊPXOWL SODWIRUP MRXUQDOLVPҋ ZDV GHÀ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ҋYH FXW VHPLQDUV DQG OHFWXUHV DJDLQ DQG KDYH EHHQ DPD]LQJO\ XQGHUVWDQGLQJ ZKHQ ZH PLVVHG \HW DQRWKHU ELUWKGD\ RU VRFLDO FRPPLWPHQW ZLWK WKDW GUHDGHG RQH ZRUG H[FXVH Ҋ3DODWLQDWH ҋ :H SURPLVH WR EH OHVV JUXPS\ DQG VOHHS GHSULYHG QH[W WHUP :H FRXOGQҋW KDYH D WKDQN \RX OLVW ZLWKRXW LQFOXGLQJ WKH UHVW RI WKH HGLWRULDO ERDUG 7KH WHDP KDYH SXW XS ZLWK D ORW RI FKDQJHV WKLV WHUP QHZ RIÀFH QHZ OD\RXW DQG DV PDQ\ IUHVK LGHDV DV ZH FRXOG PXVWHU DQG SXW WRJHWKHU LQ WLPH 7KURXJKRXW LW DOO WKH\ KDYH EHHQ SDWLHQW DQG FRQVLVWHQW LQ WKHLU VXSSRUW DQG NHSW XV ODXJKLQJ GXULQJ WKH LQVDQHO\ IUXVWUDWLQJ DQG MXVW LQVDQH PRPHQWV ,Q VWHSSLQJ GRZQ IURP WKH (GLWRUVKLS ZH WDNH ZLWK XV D JUHDW EXQFK RI IULHQGV ZKR XQIRUWXQDWHO\ IRU WKHP ZLOO SUREDEO\ KDYH WR SXW XS ZLWK XV D OLWWOH ORQJHU WKDQ WKH SULQW UXQ RI WKLV LVVXH :H WDNH RXU QHZ UROHV DV 6RFLDO 6HFUHWDULHV YHU\ VHULRXVO\ 6RE 7KDWҋV WKH *Z\QHWK PRPHQW RYHU ,WҋV DOO JHWWLQJ D ELW WRR VHULRXV UHDOO\ /HWҋV OLJKWHQ WKH PRRG ZLWK \HW DQRWKHU EORRG\ HVVD\ TXHVWLRQ Ҋ0\ KRXVHPDWH WKLQNV QXPEHU LV ÀWWHU 'LVFXVVҋ

Want to get involved with the next issue? Check out our website for details about our upcoming sectional meetings or get in touch. A general meeting will be held at the start of next term for all our writers and those who would like to know more about getting involved with the paper.

Go online and comment on our articles and stories.

Palatinate is evolving, and we need your help Email us to get involvededitor@palatinate.org.uk

A number of editorial board positions will be available at the start of next term, so watch this space.

EDITORS: Emily Purser, Maz Farookhi INDIGO EDITOR: James Thompson NEWS EDITORS: /DXUD 3HQQLQJWRQ /DXUD *ULIĂ€WKV DEPUTY NEWS EDITORS: Jess Pauley, Helen White COMMENT EDITOR: Chris Wright DEPUTY COMMENT EDITOR: Vincent McAviney FEATURES EDITOR:: Clare Finney LIFESTYLE EDITOR: Elizabeth Shrives FASHION EDITOR: Dipal Achraya MUSIC EDITOR: Dan Bjelis BOOKS EDITOR: Emma Ashru Jones FILM & TV EDITOR: Poppy Macleod STAGE EDITORS: Robert Bownes, Lucy Sainsbury LISTINGS EDITOR: Alison Moulds SPORT EDITOR: Dave Goodman DEPUTY SPORT EDITORS: Rajvir Rai, Simon Lamb ILLUSTRATIONS CO-ORDINATER: Susannah Taylor PHOTO EDITOR: Marc Pritchard ACTING PHOTO EDITOR: Max Waldron PHOTOGRAPHERS: Adam Richards, Alastair Barber, Andrew Adams, Ben Morfoot, James King, Jonathan Allen, Elizabeth Fung, Mark Lovell CHIEF SUB-EDITOR: Fiona Hicks SUB-EDITORS: Matt Hopkins, Rosie Boscawen, Louise Quarmby, Frances Main, Catherine Cooke, Catherine Bell, Liza Miller, James Arnoldi ONLINE EDITOR: Mike David Smith DEPUTY ONLINE EDITOR: Ali Gledhill

LETTERS letters@palatinate.org.uk

Please send letters to the Editors via email to the address on the left. We welcome any feedback and look forward to hearing from you. We reserve the right to print responses.

10

PHOTO

Tuesday 9 December 2008 palatinate.org.uk

Got a great photo? photo@palatinate.org.uk

2 C X

Photograph by MARC PRITCHARD Assisted by ADAM RICHARDS & JAMES KING

art direction by EMILY PURSER & MAZ FAROOKHI

>

Styling by DIPA

ASSISTED BY JE

Got a great photo? photo@palatinate.org.uk

Tuesday 9 December 2008 palatinate.org.uk

AL ACHARYA

ESS PAULEY

PHOTO 11

多 WWHVW IUHVKHU 2008 Many thanks to the MASTER OF UNIVERSITY COLLEGE for the use of the senate suite as the location.

Make-up by KATIE SERVICE

assisted by ROSIE OWEN & FIONA HICKS

Hair Styling by EMMA SKIPPER

Thanks to MUGWUMP and OXFAM BOUTIQUE for providing the dresses shown in this photograph.

Tuesday 9 Decemeber 2008 palatinate.org.uk

Think you’re hotter? editor@palatinate.org.uk

FITTEST FRESHER 12

=@KK<JK =I<J?<I )''/

¿WWHVW IUHVKHU 2008 1

1

Dan Cary

6RSKLD /D]DUXV

+LOG %HGH

9DQ 0LOGHUW

2 3

%HQ /DZUHQFH +LOG %HGH

+LOG %HGH

3

+XJR 0DUODQG 9DQ 0LOGHUW

4

5RU\ %RWURV -RKQV

5

2

,PRJHQ +DUULV

6LPRQ /DPE +LOG %HGH

5LFKDUG $VKWRQ +DW¿HOG

6

/LYY\ /RDWHV &ROOLQJZRRG

4

.DWKL /R]RZVNL +LOG %HGH

5

/DXUD &UHHV

6

6RSKLH 2JLOYLH

&XWKV

+LOG %HGH

,Q DVVRFLDWLRQ ZLWK .OXWH

Tuesday 9 December 2008 palatinate.org.uk

Got an opinion? comment@palatinate.org.uk

COMMENT 13

OD8J ;<98K<

Christmas: The season to be jolly or the season of folly? Amy Higgins

T

he lights are up in the Market Square, Klute is playing its Christmas playlist, for once, there is even snow on the ground. The festive season is upon us and I, for one, am bursting, unapologetically, with childish excitement. And who can blame me? I have been waiting 12 months for this – the 1st of December ² ZKHQ WKH Ă€ UVW GRRU RI P\ DGYHQW FDOHQGDU might be rightfully opened and the Christmas period can begin in earnest. I relish the sense of anticipation of the preceding weeks; it has all the intoxicating thrill of the chase minus the anticlimactic don’t-quitefancy-them-as-much-as-you-thought-you-did bit. As to the main event, with its carols, cards, presents, stockings, crackers and parties, it easily outperforms Easter and is surely better than even the most extravagant 21st. And I haven’t even started on the food! Christmas promises a taste sensation of epic proportions: brandy butter melting over warm mince pies, KRQH\ JOD]HG URDVW SDUVQLSV WXUNH\ VWXIĂ€ QJ and cranberry sauce. Greediness and overindulgence are not merely allowed but insisted upon; to ‘eat, drink and be merry’ is the name of the game. I love it all, even those less obviously attractive aspects of Christmas: the needles that coat WKH Ă RRU RI WKH OLYLQJ URRP EHFDXVH QRWKLQJ EXW a ‘real’ tree would do; the attempt to play Monopoly that inevitably ends in embezzlement, tears and a row; the effort to smile gracefully ZKHQ \RX Ă€ QG WKDW WKH SUHVHQW WKDW \RX ZHUH certain was a Mr. Frosty Ice Cruncher (as you had so carefully solicited from Father Christmas the week before) is in fact a Britannica Encyclopaedia (an experience of which I still bear the scars‌). In recent years however, a particularly miserable portion of humanity has been infringing on my love affair with Christmas. I am referring, of course, to those people who love to hate Christmas; those who boast loudly and proudly of their antipathy for the festival; those who whinge about how it has ‘lost its true meaning’, been usurped by Capitalism or something similarly grumpy.

‘TINY TIM’

My advice to the anti-Christmas brigade? Life is short so have a little cheer! And may I point out to those to bemoan its fading religious nature in particular, that the origin of the phrase ‘Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die’ is Ecclesiastes 8:15. Yet there are other, perhaps more profound and certainly less materialistic reasons for my love of Christmas – and to which those disenchanted with Christmas might be more receptive. It is, at the risk of sounding nauseatingly sentimental, a time to stop and celebrate life; an opportunity to spend time with your family and friends not because you have to but because you want to. We are all used to taking our families for granted. A common groan of parents is that they are treated as chauffeurs, cooks and cleaners – and it is probably a fair complaint. Relationships between siblings can all too easily descend into ones of perpetual dispute and quarrelling. Christmas is a time when we can take a step back from the practicalities and complications of day-to-day life and simply take pleasure in each others company. This is something I have only come to really appreciate as I have got older and particularly since I went away to University. My three older brothers have similarly spread their wings in recent years – living in Manchester, SouthKorea and Barcalona respectively. These are brothers whom I have grown up with; yet whilst we used to bicker over the remote on a daily basis, I have now become accustomed to seeing them for only a few weeks each year. This makes the Christmas holiday particularly precious. Many families, especially as their members grow older, will tell a similar story. We will do the same things we have done on Christmas day ever since I can remember: mass in the morning is followed by a full English before we all pile into the car to go to my Grandparent’s house where we will spend the rest of the day eating, talking, eating, arguing, eating, and – towards the end of the day - napping on the sofa in front of re-runs of Fawlty Towers. Sophisticated – no; but priceless yes. There is, it seems to me, something genuineO\ OLIH DIĂ€ UPLQJ LQ WKLV \HDUO\ FRPLQJ WRJHWKHU of families. This is not to say that I don’t enjoy all the Epicurean trappings of the period, because I most assuredly do; but rather that if they were all taken away tomorrow, Christmas would still be my favourite holiday. Cynics lambaste the season for its commercialism but I can truthfully say that I do not want anything for Christmas – and it has got nothing to do with the current economic situation. The simple act of sitting down to eat with my family on the 25th of December means far more to me than the latest incarnation of the i-pod or a cashmere jumper (although, Mum, if you’re reading - I wouldn’t say no to those either). Do you disagree with anything our opinionmerchants have written? Send us your thoughts: comment@palatinate.org.uk Responses may be published.

Chris Wright

T

here is an American legend kicking around that in Japan, which imported a version of Christmas from the West after WWII, a major department store once acciGHQWDOO\ HUHFWHG DQ LPPHQVH VPLOLQJ FUXFLĂ€ HG Santa. My brief internet search cannot determine whether this really happened or is just a mildly xenophobic fairy tale, but either way it’s an image that pretty perfectly captures just how screwed up Christmas is. It’s not the mirth and and the family gatherings and the presents and the feasting that bother me - it’s the fact that all this has to be blessed and vindicated by the most bizarre and incoherent mess of concepts. First you take the nativity story (embellished from a sketchy Biblical account) and pin it onto the date, roughly, of the winter solstice (which since long before Christianity has been a pagan day to celebrate the birth of sun gods and hold riots and orgies, but has absolutely no relation whatsoever to the birth of Jesus). Then, as if we aren’t stretching credibility already, you throw in Scandinavian trees, a supernatuUDO IDWKHU Ă€ JXUH ORRVHO\ EDVHG RQ D 6DLQW ZKR Ă LHV DURXQG LQ D VOHLJK SXOOHG E\ UHLQGHHU JLYLQJ presents to everybody (also partly sourced from a demonic Germanic spirit, and partly from a Coca Cola advert); then add a burning yule log, otherwise known - no sniggering - as the Great Ashen Faggot, and interweave the idea of the Twelfth Night, which has something vaguely to do with the signs of the zodiac. Sift through the lyrics of any of the inane, endlessly repeated Christmas songs and you DUH OLNHO\ WR Ă€ QG VHYHUDO RI WKHVH &KULVWLDQ DQG pagan motifs rubbing up against each other awkwardly. You see this most clearly in the music because, with stiff competition, it seems to be the most plastic and infantile of all the categories of “xmasâ€? paraphernalia. From the demented: “Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-laâ€?, to the so-patronising-it’s-borderline-racist: “Do they know it’s Christmas time at all?â€? - songs for the festive season have a way of turning mindlessness into an art form. But that’s the point: you’re not supposed to think about the lyrics, you’re just supposed to swallow the lot, like we all do in childhood with all of it - I forgot to mention stockings, mistletoe, advent calenders, reruns of terrible movies, tinsel, for God’s sake - without even a thought for what any of it is supposed to mean. Yet it’s all somehow invested with the reverence and holiness of the nominally Christian theme. Christians should take a moment to consider ZKHWKHU WKH -HVXV JORVV LV VXIĂ€ FLHQW MXVWLĂ€ FD tion for all this idolatry. If you take the Bible seriously, then presumably God wasn’t kidding when he announced, as reported in Jeremiah 10:2-4 “Do not act like other nations ... Their ways are futile and foolish. They cut down a tree and carve an idol. They decorate it with gold and silver and then fasten it securely with hammer and nails so that it won’t fall over.â€? More importantly, a festival which invariably involves spending lots of money on presents, food, alcohol and decoration, can hardly be seen as anything other than false consolation when compared with true salvation. The spirit of paganism remains the essential substance

‘SCROOGE’ of the winter festival: the worship of Mammon, not God, is the source of Christmas cheer. Which is why our favourite Protestant fundamentalist, Oliver Cromwell, who did so much to bring the form of idolatry known as monarchism to its deserved downfall, tried to ban Christmas as well. Appropriately enough, the Queen has her largest audience on Christmas day. While we’re in the mood for suspending our critical faculties, why not hear what platitudes Elizabeth II has for her subjects this year?

In an interview in 2007, the now deceased Norman Mailer expressed an important insight: “I’ve always felt that fascism is a more natural governmental condition than democracy. Democracy is a grace. It’s something essentially splendid because it’s not at all routine or automatic. Fascism goes back to our infancy and childhood, where we were always told how to live. We were told, yes, you may do this; no, you may not do that. So the secret of fascism is that it has this appeal to people whose later lives are not satisfactory.â€? Routine, automatic and infantile: almost everything to do with Christmas could be described accurately with one or more of these terms. Maybe this sort of thing is so dangerous that it needs to be compressed into a few weeks and contained within its prison of sanctiĂ€ HG QRQVHQVH" :H DOO JHW WRJHWKHU RQFH D \HDU to worship the saviour baby, to tell our children that Santa can see them when they’re sleeping, to note that niceness is to be rewarded with presents and naughtiness to result in mere coal. That way we get it out of our system. But if you happen to trust that you would never have been part of any Nuremberg rally, no matter how bored or depressed you might have been living in Bavaria (if, to put it another ZD\ \RX Ă€ UPO\ GR QRW ZLVK LW FRXOG EH &KULVW mas every day) then maybe when the season to be jolly comes wheeling round you should just sit back and enjoy the chocolate, while doing your best to ignore all the red and green plastic junk and, when the time comes for that ghastly carol from which the title of our debate derives, privately substitute in Tom Lehrer’s version: Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens, Mix the punch, drag out the Dickens, Even though the prospect sickens, Brother, here we go again...

14

Got an opinion? comment@palatinate.org.uk

COMMENT

Tuesday 9 December 2008 palatinate.org.uk

:FDD<EK Thom Addinall-Biddulph

A

t this point in an article I usually write my little spiel about how I respect the opposition, can understand where they’re coming from, etc., in order to make clear that opinion and politics need not be so vituperative as it normally is. This time I won’t. I hate Jamie Oliver, and I would not be particularly fussed if he were deported accidentally on trumped-up terrorism charges for, I GRQŇ‹W NQRZ FDOOLQJ WKH +RPH 2IĂ€ FH ŇŠVOLJKWO\ LQHIĂ€ FLHQWŇ‹ , KDYHQŇ‹W WULHG any of his recipes, granted, but I don’t want to. He’s put me right off anything vaguely to do with him. Why? Because he is, to use a delightfully alliterative and not at all hyperbolic term, a food fascist. I don’t always agree with Boris Johnson. In fact, my college son, a staunch BoJo supporter, can testify that I was extremely vexed by his victory in London in May. But - although he then, under pressure from the media and the party leadership, had to withdraw it he did say something very sensible in October 2006 when he was shadow higher education minister. This was “I say let people eat what they like. Why shouldn’t they push pies through the railings?â€? (in response to those parents who had taken to doing this for their children, now being forced by

T

The fashionable young chef could learn from the Unabomber

schools to eat ‘healthy’ food thanks to Oliver’s campaign). He did then call Oliver a ‘national saint’ after causing one of his trademark furores by these comments, but the point stuck, and I suspect a lot of people, whether privately or publicly, agreed with him. Now, in the interests of full disclosure, I must admit that I attended an independent school in north London, with (for all that we complained about it) pretty good catering. I therefore can’t comment on how bad food in the state sector is. Clearly, it was far from good. So what I’m objecting to is not so much improving school dinners, as forcing out all ‘junk food’ (aka the tasty stuff, no school kitchen ever has the wherewithal to do decent ‘proper’ food) and virtually criminalising those who do eat such food (ie, people like me), even in conjunction with more healthy options. What especially annoys me is Oliver’s current campaign to make Rotherham eat healthily. What business of it is his if Rotherham doesn’t eat Savoy quality food every night? I’m not an apologist for Iceland, Cadbury’s, Walker’s, etc. - I know I shouldn’t eat quite as much junk food as I do. But there are so many subtler and better ways of encouraging people to eat better, and it should be acknowledged that a bit

Mark Harmstone

he World Wide Web may be getting on for twenty years old now, but it seems that many people still don’t fully understand it. Ask the average Durham student what the best thing about the Internet is, and they’ll very likely make reference to that stalking-tool extraordinaire, Facebook. The more studious among us might say DUO or JSTOR. But, as is becoming increasingly obvious, the Web’s real value lies in its democratization of information. Anybody can say whatever they like, effectively for free. Don’t like it? Don’t read it. The establishment, of course, hates this. Ministers Andy Burnham and Hazel Blears have both gone on the record attacking political blogs, and in September the European Parliament tabled a – thankfully defeated – motion which would have lead to blogs being regulated by the state. In such circumstances, how could a blogger criticize the same state without fear of ORVLQJ KLV RIĂ€ FLDO DSSURYDO" Politicians would love nothing more than to see blogging squashed. We have a free press, but professional journalists are so much easier to push around. If they publish something in a QHZVSDSHU FULWLFDO RI D FHUWDLQ LQĂ X HQWLDO Ă€ JXUH ² WKH 3ULPH 0LQLVWHU VD\

Why Jamie Oliver is a food fascist of junk food will not actually cause cardiac arrest in ten minutes. Oliver has also turned a generation against ready meals; a discussion of this with a friend actually inspired this article, after he questioned the healthiness of such meals. Many ready meals are perfectly healthy and actually quite nice (even Iceland does a passable beef stew), and not everyone has the time, money or inclination to cook from scratch every night. Plus, cooking every single night makes it less special; it just becomes food for function, something one does as part of a daily routine with no zest to it. I know the principal argument for culinary education: people who eat consistently unhealthy food get ill, go to hospital and the taxpayer foots the bill. But that way lies danger. What would be next? Most forms of adventuring (rock climbing, kayaking, etc.) would be banned on similar grounds. Depressive people would be forced to watch nothing but the Teletubbies to keep them from needing NHS treatment. It may seem reasonable, but it sets a precedent and thus begins the slow erosion of our freedom (and no, the similarity to civil liberty arguments is not a coincidence). My philosophical problem with the whole idea lies

here; what we eat is one of those areas, like what we read, who we meet, who we sleep with, how we think, that the government and its surrogates (and let’s not pretend Oliver is anything else; the whole school dinners campaign, like Live8, smacked deeply of a government setup) should just keep well out of. Oliver’s problem is that he, like so PDQ\ VXIIHUV IURP ODFN RI IXOĂ€ OPHQW of the power process (see Theodore Kaczynski‌aka the Unabomber)whereby each human needs a goal and the effort of attaining it. Often, when people have their basic goalsVXUYLYDO PHW WRR HDVLO\ WKH\ Ă€ QG QHZ goals to strive towards, with no regard for the people that form part of their power process. Oliver needs therefore to mess around with everyone else’s lives with his incessant, holierthan-thou (was Boris actually pointing out the dangerous cult around him as some kind of Messiah Of Food with his ‘national saint’ remark?) food fascism because he has nothing better to do, such as earning a real living for example. Well, guess what, Jamie: my dinner is Pringles, cherry drops and mince pies and there’s not a thing you can do about it. PHOTO: ANDREW ADAMS

Blogging? It’s just common sense Charlie Booth’s critique of blogs ignored their revolutionary spirit

or the Leader of the Opposition – they can’t really be surprised if their rivals are given the scoops before they are in future. Quite apart from this, it is important to remember that the chief function of a newspaper is to make money. If something is unpopular with the audience, it won’t get published. Nor will something which disagrees with one

“Anybody can say whatever they like, effectively for free. Don’t like it? Don’t read it. �

of the advertisers, nor for that matter something which disagrees with the boss. Anyone who doubts this need look no further than Mr. Murdoch and his SURGLJLRXV LQĂ XHQFH RYHU %ULWLVK SROL tics. The blogger, on the other hand, has no editorial line to follow; he can write from his heart without thinking about his wallet. This cult of the amateur is some-

thing to be welcomed, not feared. The acerbic Paul Staines, pseudonymously known as “Guido Fawkesâ€? “the only man to enter Parliament with honest intentionsâ€? - blogs daily on political sleaze, ferreting around Westminster, Sherlock Holmes-like, until the ugly truth is revealed. Remember Peter Hain, the permatanned Secretary of State for Work and Pensions? Guido’s investigation into his dodgy campaign funding is the reason why many of you probably don’t. Yes, Guido’s biased. So are we all. So are print journalists. I defy anyone to tell me with a straight face that Polly Toynbee or Simon Heffer do not warp the facts to suit their own political ends. And it is perhaps this bias which most alarms the centre-left establishment. The Internet as a whole is both right-wing and libertarian. Of the top twenty British political blogs, as compiled by the magazine Total Politics, only three can be described as leftwing. Why? All bloggers are on equal SOD\LQJ Ă€ HOG LWŇ‹V D IUHH PDUNHW 3HU haps the British Left really did lose the argument in 1979. Or perhaps right-wing blogs are just more fun to read. This, in itself, is rather odd. Bloggers are surely the cultural heirs of the

radical pamphleteers of yesteryear. If Thomas Paine were alive today, he would be a blogger, and indeed “Common Senseâ€? sounds like a great title for a vitriolic blog. In retrospect, we can see that Paine was vindicated by the success of the United States DQG WKH Ă RXULVKLQJ RI LWV GHPRFUDF\ perhaps in two hundred years people will look back at the radical posts of

“It is perhaps this bias which most alarms the centre-left establishment. The internet as a whole is both right-wing and libertarian.� Daniel Hannan, or Chris Mounsey of The Devil’s Kitchen, and think, hey, they were right too. That is not to say, of course, that every blogger has something valuable to say. For every DUS speaker there are ten pub bores; for every considered philosopher there are twenty fascist cab-drivers. But the beauty of the Internet is that the bloggers with faulty logic, with irrational conclusions, with facile revelations, don’t get read. The

blogs which thrive are those that are deemed as having something worthy of saying. Can one really say the same thing about the mainstream media, in a country where The Sun sells more copies every day than The Guardian sells in a week? One of the examples given by Charlie Booth in the last edition of Palatinate of the blog’s supposed inferiority to the hack’s column was that the blog was free to defame characters and publish untruths. But the blog lives and depends on reputation to exactly the same extent as the print media do. If a crazy tramp on Elvet Bridge yelled that Gordon Brown eats babies, you’d think nothing of it. If I said it to you in private, you’d think I was a little odd. If it was printed on the front page of the Telegraph, why, then it’d be news. There is no reason to believe why the stature and perceived accuracy of the better blogs should not match, or even exceed, the respectable newspapers in the future. And the world would be a better place for having journalists who could write how they truly felt, buoyed not by the stature of their rag but by their own reputation.

2 C X >

Tuesday 9 December 2008 palatinate.org.uk

Got an opinion? comment@palatinate.org.uk

COMMENT 15

:FDD<EK From the Union Louise Best

Matt Richardson

RQLJKW , À QG P\VHOI ZULWLQJ WKHVH humble words in hiding from the law. For you, oh faithful reader, I’m prepared to risk a fate worse than VQLSHU À UH RU PLVVLQJ HVVD\ GHDGOLQHV to add this paltry journalistic offering WR WKH RQJRLQJ À JKW IRU IUHHGRP DQG justice in this our great Britannia. My reason for such secrecy is, quite frankly, that I fear for my safety. Any minute now a phalanx of armed police could shatter the door of my safe house, bellow themselves hoarse in the hallway and force me to stumble outdoors in nothing more than my WLJKW À WWLQJ 0 6 S\MDPDV ,Q WKLV SDQ ic-ridden period it seems that anything is possible. A week or so ago one of my compatriots in arms, Conservative MP Damian Green, found himself hosting an unwelcome visiting party of armed police. Adverse to offers of coffee, tea or orange squash, they proceeded to arrest the poor man, hold him for nine hours of questioning and release him on bail all over the issue of a series of leaked documents that caused serial blushes in Whitehall. His ministerial RIÀ FHV ZHUH ORRWHG KLV FRQVWLWXHQF\ email frozen and his democratic and parliamentary rights violated in every thinkable and unthinkable manner. Perfectly normal nowadays, you might think, in these quasi-Stalinist times. In fact, it’s a slight surprise the government didn’t go the whole hog and have him bungled on to a midnight rendition to Guantanamo or better still simply riddled with bullets at dawn? But, then, hang on‌correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t this the country that was once supposed to be the cradle of democracy, the bastion of justice, the promulgators of fair trials DQG WROHUDQFH" (YHQ LI WKLV 7RU\ WRII

T

Liberty, Equality, Fraternity The French motto for our own British revolution

was engaged in all sorts of scurrilous anti-government antics, shouldn’t he at least be granted the dignity of a quiet mid-afternoon stroll down to the yard and a gentle chat over a chocolate digestive or two? This isn’t America we’re talking about: we don’t pull triggers for sport or engage in all that sort of blood-splattered bacchanalia. We’re civilized, for heaven’s sake. But, alas naïve reader, if only. Those days of a safe and fairer Britain are but a distant memory. In this

“From the dawn arrest of Ruth Turner over the cash for honours debacle to the earlymorning manacling of Harry Redknapp over corruption in football, our law enforcement agencies seem to have lost all sense of proportion.� uncertain era, your elderly granny is as likely to be forced outside in nothing more than her dressing gown and slippers as your bomb-making terrorist or gun-toting dope dealer. If the lads down at the Met are feeling antsy, they seem to love nothing more than strapping on their bulletproof vests, scooping up a AK47 or two and charging noisily around at the early hours of the morning. Forget whether you’re King, Queen,

Member of Parliament or checkout girl at Safeway, that bowel-shattering sound of an elite anti-terrorist squad aimed, ready and about to blow you to smithereens could quite easily be giving you a pre-breakfast wake up call sometime soon. The reality is that Damian Green’s arrest is merely the latest in a long line of heavy-handed police brutality that is threatening to undermine our long held liberties. From the dawn arrest of Ruth Turner over the cash for honours debacle to the early-morning manacling of Harry Redknapp over corruption in football, our law enforcement agencies seem to have lost all sense of proportion. Too many American cop shows have turned the heads of our crime-protection force. Forget your affable bobby on the beat: this is full-blown, action man annihilation. But this latest incident shows that things have taken a worse and even more frightening turn. Football managers and government aides are one thing, opposition MPs quite another. For starters, the police invasion of the Commons was a major contempt of Parliament, an intrusion upon the green-benched cockpit of our country that has spent seven hundred \HDUV IRUWLÀ HG DJDLQVW WKH WRWDOLWDULDQ tendencies of police chiefs or powerKXQJU\ SROLWLFRV &RQÀ GHQWLDO FRQVWLW uency correspondence was at risk of being tampered with while the carapace of parliamentary independence and privileged protection found itself being incontrovertibly pierced, if not temporarily shattered. More sinister still is that if this latest headline-grabbing raid can be traced EDFN WR D VHQLRU PLQLVWHULDO À JXUH WKHQ the government could be guilty of using law enforcement to silence their

enemies. If either the Prime Minister or Home Secretary had prior knowledge of this atrocity, then we should all start quaking in our metaphorical boots. Whether Green is guilty or not is irrelevant. If the government have started setting their attack dogs on any dissenting voice, then I think it no exaggeration to say that our entire, epoch-long tradition of democracy and values could be nixed in a nanosecond. So what to do? Must we all lock ourselves in, assume the foetal position and watch as our once great nation slides slowly into a tin-pot dictatorship? No, comrades! There is hope, a slither of light glimmering on the horizon. It comes as all revolutions comes: through civil disobedience, through outcry, through student-led marches in large towns with banners, long hair and drug-crazed rock musicians calling for peace and free love. It comes through concern about the erosion of our Cromwellian rights, replaced by the Orwellian nightmare of CCTV cameras at every turn and the looming threat of ID cards. It comes through decrying the bully boy tactics shamelessly espoused by the Yanks under their illiterate and hawkish President and celebrating parliamentary sovereignty and our worldfamous system of justice. And so, to that end, I lay down this literary morsel at the buffet table of resistance. It may not change the world, but it might just change something. Until then I’ll just have to hunker hopefully and continue the struggle alone. And, if all else fails, at least I can make sure I’ll be wearing clean pyjamas.

As this term draws to a its snowy close, the Union still has a couple more events to offer you, and no, I’m not just talking about the excessive amount of mulled wine you consumed at the free Christmas social! Thursday 11th December sees former Conservative Party leader Iain Duncan Smith addressing the Union. In October 2003 he established the Centre for Social Justice; the Centre believes that a more diverse voluntary sector, stronger families and a tough approach to crime and drugs, will help win the continuing war on poverty. Iain Duncan Smith will be discussing this, as well as, more generally, the resurgence of the Conservative Party. A must for anyone interested in politics and current affairs. )ULGD\ WK KRVWV WKH Ă€ QDO GHEDWH RI term. The House will be debating the motion ‘This House believes women are better leaders than men!’. Come a long for a bit of debating, a lot of embarrassing stories and hopefully even more humour as it’s the President’s farewell debate. The President KLPVHOI ZLOO EH GULQNLQJ Ă€ UVW VSHDNLQJ last and attempting to explain why some of the Women in his life were ULJKW LQ WKH Ă€ UVW SODFH Looking to next term, highlights LQFOXGH WKH Ă€ UVW GHEDWH RI (SLSKDQ\ “This House believes civil liberties VKRXOG QRW EH VDFULĂ€ FHG IRU QDWLRQDO security interestsâ€?. Speakers include David Davis MP who famously forced a by-election on the issue by resigning as an MP, Sir Ken MacDonald (exDirector of Public Prosecutions) and Jonathan Goldberg QC (“as sharp as a tray of knivesâ€? Chambers and Partners). The House will also be debating the motion “This House believes that Intelligent Design has no place in science lessons.â€? Professor Steve Fuller, an expert witness for creationists in the Dover trials in 2005, will be putting forward his views on this matter. In amongst these fantastic debates there will also be addresses from Antony Horowitz the renowned author and outspoken former head of the army General Sir Mike Jackson. I’d just like to say a huge thank you to Will Day for putting on such a wonderful term for the members, and good luck to Will Stanley for next term!

If you are a Union Society member, why not send us your thoughts on the recent presidential election controversy? Email: comment@palatinate.org.uk

16

Got an opinion? comment@palatinate.org.uk

COMMENT

Tuesday 9 December 2008 palatinate.org.uk

:FDD<EK David Richards

On deluded ‘left-wing’ imperialists Iraqis will not be better off in the long term because of our invasion

A

common phrase in favour for the war in Iraq which I have heard from a few students recently, argues that “well, at least, the Iraqi people are better off without Saddamâ€?. This argument was used in war cries by ‘left-wing’ writers such as David Aaronovitch and Christopher Hitchens prior to the invasion. However, the argument only makes sense if you completely ignore the truth coming out of the warzone. Let’s start with deaths. There have been many independent studies and WKH\ JLYH YDU\LQJ Ă€ JXUHV 7KH :RUOG +HDOWK 2UJDQLVDWLRQ :+2 FRQGXFW ed a survey of 11,000 houses in 2007 and ranked the death toll as 151,000 IRU WKH Ă€ UVW WKUHH \HDUV RI WKH FRQĂ LFW This however is one of the lowest Ă€ JXUHV 7KH UHVSHFWHG /DQFHW -RXU nal found that 655,000 had died up WR -XQH DQG WKDW ZHUH said to have occurred from violence rather than natural causes. The violence aspect is important here as the Oxford-based Iraqi Body Count found that invading forces have killed four WLPHV PRUH FLYLOLDQV LQ WKH Ă€ UVW WZR years of the war than the insurgents did. The government said that the /DQFHW Ă€ JXUHV ZHUH ZLGHO\ LQDFFX rate, until the Ministry of Defence’s own advisor urged the government to

EH FDXWLRXV DERXW FULWLFLVLQJ WKH Ă€ QG ings as the “study design is robustâ€?. 7KH %ULWLVK Ă€ UP WKH 2SLQLRQ 5HVHDUFK Business did a recent study and believe there have been 1.2 million deaths ranging from a minimum of 733,000 to a maximum of 1,446,000. This isn’t fed to us through our TV sets. The population is weakened as it is. The sanctions imposed on the Iraqi people really hurt the poor in society, killing, the UN estimates, 500,000 children and 1 million people overall. The ruthlessness of US and British actions was shown in a leaked Defence Intelligence Agency report: the ŇŠ,UDT :DWHU 7UHDWPHQW 9XOQHUDELOLWLHVŇ‹ document written before the sanctions were imposed. It pointed out that certain sanctions imposed on Iraq would stop the importing of equipment and chemicals to make the water drinkable, which would dramatically increase illness and disease. Exceptions could have been made for the water system, especially considering the fact that Saddam was supposed to be punished; not innocent Iraqis. But exceptions weren’t made. And, now, since the fresh invasion, only 8 million - one quarter-of the Iraqi population - has access to clean drinking water.

Rachel Revesz

The motivations for the sanctions were revealed early on by the then 86 VHFUHWDU\ RI VWDWH -DPHV %DNHU “Iraq will be turned into a backward and weak stateâ€?. By cutting supply lines they made the Iraqi people even more dependant on Saddam and just weakened his country, the Iraqi economy, his resources, his human resources. A man well put to explain this is Dennis Halliday, the former UN coordinator in Iraq who resigned in protest against the sanctions, ‘this policy constitutes genocide and :DVKLQJWRQ DQG /RQGRQ DUH UHVSRQ sible‌It‌is a deliberate policy to deVWUR\ WKH SHRSOH RI ,UDTÂŤ:H DUH LQ the process of destroying an entire society. It is illegal and immoral.’ You see, the US and Britain thought Saddam could be turned around after WKH Ă€ UVW LQYDVLRQ DQG PDGH WR FRP ply with western interests. Former &,$ -RKQ 3HUNLQŇ‹V H[SODLQV WKH ORJLF “he’s the kind of strong man we like, he controls his people, we thought he could control the Kurds and keep the Iranians on their border and keep pumpin’ oil for us and once we take his military out he’s going to come aroundâ€?. The point is that the US deFLGHG QRW WR WRSSOH 6DGGDP WKH Ă€ UVW time, and instead chose to enforce sanctions on his already terrible so-

ciety; the results were predictable and brutal. They fed a machine which they knew would produce certain results. And if you’re being honest, this FRQVWLWXWHV FDPRXĂ DJHG JHQRFLGH “Yes but in the long term, the Iraqi people are better offâ€?. This would depend on a democratic government supporting the Iraqi people, where they can support massive re-buildLQJ SURMHFWV 3HUKDSV WKHUH ZRXOG be hope given Iraq’s vast oil wealth. However, the Iraqi Oil Law has recently been passed which gives US oil companies’ unrestricted access for the next 20 years, with the oil companies deciding how much revenue to give back to Iraq. Hopefully they’ll give enough back to rebuild an entire country. The Iraqi parliament is in the heavily defended green zone which is encircled by US tanks and marines. Obviously it is pro-west as no sane government would give away its oil resources for free to a foreign power. Its two largest factions are US-fundHG 5HFHQW DJUHHPHQWV SULYDWLVHG Iraq’s 200 state owned companies which really anchor the economy and provide basics such as cement to paper to cooking oil. Corporate tax was then reduced from 45% to 15% and the companies were allowed to sign contracts that insured control over

these industries for forty years. Laws were then passed that allowed invesWRUV WR WDNH RI WKH SURĂ€ WV WKH\ made from Iraq out of the country taxfree. Add to this the western corporate ownership of the Iraqi education and health systems etc, it really looks bleak. Even if a genuine democratic government developed in Iraq, it would still have no real power as the economy is effectively sown up. Add to all this the fact that the US and Britain funded Saddam militarily through his worst atrocities against his own people; if someone is slaughtering people and you give him weapons then you’re involved - it’s a war crime. The invasion has also made Iraq a hotbed of insurgent terrorist groups; it’s hardly surprising the Iraqi people don’t like us. So, unfortunately, the idea that the US and British actions in Iraq have helped the country is clearly wrong. 7KH MRXUQDOLVW 1LU 5RVHQ RIIHUV D more realistic analysis in a recent edition of Current History magazine: “Iraq has been killed, never to rise again. The American occupation has been more disastrous than that of the Mongols, who sacked Baghdad in the thirteenth centuryâ€?.

A Day Out in Oradour sur Glane Unlike Auschwitz, a hot-dog is not included

:

here did you go last summer? The Thai full moon party? Shag—er, Magaluf? 2U ZDV LW %LUNHQDX" :LWK WKH DLP RI becoming a culturally-historicallyannoyingly-well-rounded-student, I set off to Oradour sur Glane in the Limousin region of south France. To tell you a brief history, on the 10th of -XQH WKH 1D]LV LQYDGHG WKLV town, rounded up the majority of its 700 inhabitants and performed a mass murder before burning Oradour WR WKH JURXQG 5HVWRUDWLRQ KDV EHHQ avoided and the village is destined to eventually crumble into the ground. It is an eerie experience, wondering aimlessly through the rubble and ruins, spotting rusted sewing machines on windowsills and burnt out cars in the streets. In the CafĂŠ Central, iron tables and chairs are still lying on their sides. It all feels a bit like you have boarded the “Marie Celesteâ€?. That is, the Marie Celeste with a whole bunch of stupid tourists who prod and poke until the whole experience has been moulded into some sort of gross commercial enterprise. You would expect the visitors to walk around in respectful silenceand, just as easily as they manage it in the cinema, turn off their mobile phones and bite back the fag-craving, but I

discover that people have a strange way of going about Oradour. It is a spacious site, yet strangers stick together in clumps, eyeing each other with distaste. I am personally shadowed by an elderly German couple who insist on peering over my shoulder and muttering ominous-sounding words in my ear. I walk past the deFD\HG 3DWLVVHULH *HUPDQV IROORZLQJ to see a young group of Liverpudli-

“that experience of “culture shockâ€? has to be FKDVHG IDUWKHU DÂż HOG as the western world sneaks to every corner of the globeâ€? ans Happy-snapping certain rusted items and amusing themselves by guessing what they are (“A bike tyre! A VKRH $ ZDVKLQJ PDFKLQH \D GLYY\ Âľ Between the photos, chatting and hot-dog eating, a cheery “Day Out at Oradourâ€? seems like the perfect title for one’s next Facebook album. I look around and consider that

the majority of my keen photographer friends would be more ideally VXLWHG WR D GD\ WULS WR WKH EXWWHUĂ \ farm, Legoland or some other brainless world of fun. Not looking at each other but keeping close, we head into the church, the very place where the innocent women and children were URXQGHG XS DQG LQHYLWDEO\ Ă€ QGLQJ nothing much to look at, we all walk VWUDLJKW RXW DJDLQ :H PLJKW DV ZHOO be bored spectators at an art gallery. I wonder, rather uncomfortably, why ZH DUH KHUH :K\ LV OHDUQLQJ DERXW these places not enough? The world has become a very small place for tourists: that experience of “culture shockâ€? has to be chased IDUWKHU DĂ€ HOG DV WKH ZHVWHUQ ZRUOG sneaks to every corner of the globe. There is a sense of urgency as we run around with our massive carbon shoes, ticking off the list of cities and countries until we collapse in our beds, exhausted and just as ignorant about the world as when we started. If it was not for the accompanying exhibition and a vague memory of high-school history, I would be just as clueless about Oradour as those /LYHUSXGOLDQV :H IHHO D FRPSXOVLRQ to see everything with our own eyes, otherwise how can places like Oradour really exist?

Having never been further than Tenerife and not liking it much, Oradour was supposed to be my nearby culture shock with a more freckle-suited climate. Unexpectedly, I found it difÀ FXOW WR FRQMXUH XS LQVWDQW HPRWLRQ on arrival. Always racing across the ZRUOG ZLWK 5\DQDLU JDZNLQJ DW EORFN buster movies, gaping at the largest X in the world and the biggest Y, suddenly we are expected to stand still and use our own imaginations: this

“We feel a compulsion to see everything with our own eyesâ€? SURYHV GLIĂ€ FXOW HVSHFLDOO\ ZKHQ WKH mother reading the names on the memorial is warning her brat of a son that he will not get his ice-cream if he does not shut up. In the fading evening light, Oradour is beautiful and strangely uplifting. 3HRSOH DUH PLOOLQJ DERXW ELUGV DUH singing (contrary to what melodramatics claim about the so-called silence DW $XVFKZLW] DQG WKH UHFRQVWUXFWHG new town of Oradour lies only a stone

throw away from the old town. The *HUPDQ FRXSOH Ă€ QDOO\ DEDQGRQ PH and I am free to wonder around at my OHLVXUH IHHOLQJ FDOP DQG UHĂ HFWLYH ,W is not until I am lying in a dodgy hotel room in Limoges that night, with no curtain across the window and feeling intimidated by the towering mahogany furniture, that I start to feel sad and lonely. I am also feeling positively sorry for myself and suspect that I would be much happier and well fed at that nicer looking hotel across the road. But before I start to despair of the human race and our seeming lack of genuine purpose and sincerity when travelling across the planet, let me express my gratitude that so many people travel to Oradour to learn about what could be the horrendous consequences of modern history. It is incomprehensible that there is no end to the capabilities of human brutality. There is also no end to stupid tourists. , Ă€ QG WKDW WKHVH WZR OHVVRQV FRPH hand in hand when making pilgrimages to spots of mass murder. Even though I had smugly bagged a cheap Ă LJKW DQG WKHQ JRW ULSSHG WR Ă€ QDQ cial shreds by the French taxi driver, consequently spending the next day munching on stale baguette, we all need to learn these lessons, whether we choose to be “touristsâ€? or not.

2 C X >

Tuesday 9 December 2008 palatinate.org.uk

Know the score? sport@palatinate.org.uk

SPORT

17

JGFIK

From winker to winner After a recordbreaking season, Portugal and Manchester United’s Cristiano Ronaldo was awarded the prestigious Ballon d’Or last week. Rajvir Rai asks if the talented but controversial winger deserved European’s football’s ultimate acolade 3+272 -25*( 0217(,52

FOR ALL THAT don’t know, The European Football of the Year award, or the Ballon Gҋ2U DV LW LV RIÀFLDOO\ NQRZQ LV JLYHQ RXW E\ )UHQFK IRRWEDOO PDJD]LQH France Football WR WKH SOD\HU ZKLFK D SDQHO RI MRXUQDOLVWV IHHO KDV SHUIRUPHG PRVW VWURQJO\ LQ WKH SDVW PRQWKV 7KH SDQHO QDUURZ GRZQ WKH QHZO\ VKRUWHQHG OLVW RI SOD\HUV LW ZDV SUHYLRXVO\ DVVHPEOHG E\ )UDQFH )RRWEDOO WR SLFN WKHLU WRS (DFK LQGLYLGXDO SDQHOOLVW

WKHQ UDQNV WKHVH JLYLQJ HDFK SOD\HU EHWZHHQ RQH DQG ÀYH SRLQWV GHSHQGLQJ RQ WKHLU SRVLWLRQ 7KH SOD\HU ZLWK WKH PRVW SRLQWV ZLQV WKH SUHVWLJLRXV DZDUG ZKLOH VHFRQG DQG WKLUG SODFH UHFHLYH VLOYHU DQG EURQ]H PHGDOV UHVSHFWLYHO\ +DYLQJ PLVVHG RXW WR $ & 0LODQҋV .DND ODVW WLPH URXQG WKH 3RUWXJXHVH ZLQJHU WKLV WLPH ZHQW RQH EHWWHU E\ SLFNLQJ XS WKH DZDUG IRU KLV SHUIRUPDQFHV ODVW \HDU ZKHQ KH KHOSHG 0DQFKHVWHU 8QLWHG WR D

IDPRXV OHDJXH DQG &KDPSLRQV /HDJXH GRXEOH 5RQDOGR DW WKH WHQGHU DJH RI MRLQV LOOXVWULRXV FRPSDQ\ VXFK DV )UDQN 5LMNDDUG 3DROR 0DOGLQL *HRUJH %HVW +ULVWUR 6WRLFKNRY 5REHUWR %DJJLR 'HQQLV %HUJNDPS /RWKDU 0DWWKDXV DQG 7KLHUU\ +HQU\ LQ KDYLQJ SLFNHG XS WZR PHGDOV :LWK KLV EHVW \HDUV VWLOO DKHDG RI KLP WKHUH LV HYHU\ SRVVLELOLW\ WKDW WKH 8QLWHG QXPEHU FRXOG VXUSDVV 0LFKHO 3ODWLQL DQG )UDQ] %HFNHQEDXHUҋV UHFRUG RI PHGDOV 3ODWLQL KDV WKUHH JROG DQG WZR EURQ]HV ZKLOVW %HFNHQEDXHU KDV WZR JROG WZR VLOYHU DQG RQH EURQ]H +RZHYHU PDQ\ EHOLHYH WKDW WKH 8QLWHG QXPEHU LV XQGHVHUYLQJ RI KLV DZDUG DQG WKDW ZKLOH KH ZDV JRRG ODVW \HDU KH ZDV QRW WKH EHVW LQ (XURSH 0DQ\ KDYH DUJXHG WKDW LQ WKH ELJ JDPHV WKH 8QLWHG VWDUOHW JRHV PLVVLQJ DQG WRR PDQ\ RI KLV EHVW SHUIRUPDQFHV FRPH DJDLQVW VR FDOOHG ´OHVVHU WHDPVµ 6RPH EHOLHYH WKDW %DUFHORQDҋV /LRQHO 0HVVL DQG /LYHUSRROҋV )HUQDQGR 7RUUHV ZKR ÀQLVKHG VHFRQG DQG WKLUG UHVSHFWLYHO\ ZHUH PRUH FRQVLVWHQW LQ WKH ELJ JDPHV ZKHQ LW UHDOO\ PDWWHUV ,V WKLV WUXH" +DV WKH ZURQJ SOD\HU EHHQ DZDUGHG WKH SUHVWLJLRXV DFFRODGH" /HW XV ORRN DW WKH IDFWV 5RQDOGR VFRUHG DQ LQFUHGLEOH JRDOV ODVW \HDU ZKHUHDV 0HVVL FRXOG RQO\ PDQDJH JRDOV DQG 7RUUHV VFRUHG 6R LI ZH JR SXUHO\ E\ JRDOV WKH JROGHQ ER\ RI 3RUWXJXHVH IRRWEDOO LV FOHDUO\ WKH RXWULJKW ZLQQHU +RZHYHU FUHGLW PXVW DOVR EH JLYHQ WR 6SDQLVK VWULNHU 7RUUHV IRU EHLQJ WKH ÀUVW /LYHUSRRO SOD\HU WR VFRUH PRUH WKDQ JRDOV LQ D SUHPLHUVKLS VHDVRQ VLQFH 5REELH )RZOHU (TXDOO\ WKH JRDOV RI $UJHQWLQLDQ SOD\PDNHU 0HVVL LV YHU\ UHVSHFWDEOH FRQVLGHULQJ KH ZDV SOD\LQJ LQ D VWUXJJOLQJ %DUFHORQD VLGH ,PSRUWDQWO\ WKRXJK WKHUH LV QR GRXEW

WKDW IRU D ZLQJHU 5RQDOGRҋV WDOO\ ZKLFK VXUSDVVHV WKH OHJHQGDU\ *HRUJH %HVWҋV UHFRUG RI JRDOV LQ VHDVRQ IURP D PLGÀHOG SOD\HU LV DEVROXWHO\ RXWVWDQGLQJ DQG D UHFRUG WKDW ZLOO WDNH DQ H[WUDRUGLQDU\ HIIRUW WR H[FHHG :KDW PXVW DOVR EH UHPHPEHUHG LV WKDW PDQ\ RI 5RQDOGRҋV JRDOV ZHUH KLJKO\ LPSRUWDQW RQHV WKDW PHDQW 8QLWHG RIWHQ ZRQ RU DW OHDVW GUHZ JDPHV WKH\ PD\ KDYH RWK-

“While Liverpool hitman Torres is a lethal predator with an amazing eye for goal, and Messi is undoubtedly an unbelievable dribbler... Ronaldo, has something extra that makes him that bit better.” HUZLVH ZDONHG DZD\ IURP HPSW\ KDQGHG 7KH WULFN\ ZLQJHUҋV JRDOV DJDLQVW %LUPLQJKDP /\RQ (YHUWRQ DQG 3RUWVPRXWK WR QDPH MXVW D IHZ JDYH 8QLWHG LPSRUWDQW ZLQV LQ PDWFKHV WKH\ PD\ KDYH GURSSHG SRLQWV LQ ZLWKRXW KLP 8QLWHG DQG RSSRVLWLRQ GHIHQFHV NQHZ WKDW DV ORQJ DV 5RQDOGR ZDV RQ WKH SLWFK WKHUH ZDV VWLOO D FKDQFH 8QLWHG ZRXOG ZLQ WKH JDPH (TXDOO\ WKH FODLP WKDW WKH ZLQJHU ZHQW DEVHQW LQ ELJ JDPHV LV YHU\ KDUVK FRQVLG-

HULQJ WKDW KH VFRUHG DJDLQVW $UVHQDO DW WKH (PLUDWHV DQG DW 2OG 7UDIIRUG DZD\ DW 6SRUWLQJ /LVERQ XSRQ KLV UHWXUQ WR KLV ROG FOXE IRU WKH ÀUVW WLPH DW KRPH DJDLQVW /LYHUSRRO LQ ZKDW ZDV D PXVW ZLQ JDPH IRU 8QLWHG DJDLQVW WKHLU ÀHUFH ULYDOV DQG PRVW QRWDEO\ JRW WKH RSHQLQJ JRDO RI WKH &KDPSLRQV /HDJXH ÀQDO DJDLQVW &KHOVHD $ WRWDO RI HLJKW JRDOV LQ RQO\ JDPHV LQ (XURSHҋV HOLWH FOXE FRPSHWLWLRQ WKH &KDPSLRQV OHDJXH SURYHG WKDW 5RQDOGR KDV WKH DELOLW\ WR VFRUH DW WKH KLJKHVW OHYHO 0HVVL DQG 7RUUHV FRXOG RQO\ PDQDJH JRDOV HDFK LQ ODVW \HDUҋV FRPSHWLWLRQ ²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ÀW RI IRRWEDOO DV D ZKROH OHWҋV KRSH WKDW QH[W \HDUҋV %DOORQ Gҋ2U LV DV FORVHO\ FRQWHVWHG DV WKLV \HDUҋV ZDV $Q\ JHQXLQH IDQ MXVW ZDQWV WR VHH DV PDQ\ JRRG SOD\HUV DW WKH WRS RI WKHLU JDPH HDFK ZHHN VR WKDW ZH FDQ ZLWQHVV VRPH WUXO\ HQWHUWDLQLQJ IRRWEDOO

Are universities the future of performance sport? (QJODQG ,QWHUQDWLRQDO ZRUOG FXS ZLQQHU DQG IRUPHU +DW¿HOG VWXGHQW :LOO *UHHQZRRG DGGUHVVHG WKH 'XUKDP 8QLRQ ODVW PRQWK RQ WKH UROH RI WKH higher education system in producing Britain’s top atheletes. Palatinate’s Simon Lamb was there...

3+272 -$0(6 .,1*

$6 6221 $6 \RX KHDUG WKDW UXJE\ ZRUOG FXS ZLQQHU DQG H[ YLFH FDSWDLQ RI WKH (QJODQG UXJE\ XQLRQ WHDP ZDV FRPLQJ EDFN WR 'XUKDP WR VSHDN DW WKH 8QLRQ \RX NQHZ LW ZDV DQ RFFDVLRQ WKDW FRXOGQҋW EH PLVVHG $Q\RQH ZKR KDV KHDUG :LOO *UHHQZRRG speak on TV knows that he quite likes the VRXQG RI KLV RZQ YRLFH ZKLFK PHDQW WKDW KH UDWKHU GRPLQDWHG WKH HYHQLQJ KRZHYHU LQ WKLV FDVH WKDW ZDV QR EDG WKLQJ 7DONLQJ RI KLV WLPH DV DQ (QJODQG ,QWHUQDWLRQDO KH VSRNH YHU\ IRQGO\ RI &OLYH :RRGZDUG SODFLQJ KLP LQ WKH VDPH FDWHJRU\ DV WKH OLNHV RI 6LU $OH[ )HUJXVRQ DQG %ULDQ &ORXJK &OLYH ZH DUH WROG EDVHG KLV UXJE\ PDQDJHPHQW DURXQG WKH SKUDVH Ҋ7&83ҋ ZKLFK PHDQV ҊWKLQNLQJ FOHDUO\ XQGHU SUHVVXUHҋ +H EHOLHYHG WKDW WKLV LV ZKDW WXUQV \RX IURP D ҊFRPSHWLWRU WR D FKDPSLRQҋ *UHHQZRRGҋV H[DPSOH RI D PDQ ZKR SHUVRQLÀHV 7&83 LV H[ (QJODQG FDSWDLQ 0DUWLQ -RKQVRQ :H ZHUH WROG RI KRZ LQ WKH th PLQXWH RI WKH ZRUOG FXS ÀQDO WKH WHDPҋV ҊWDQN GULYHUҋ -RKQQ\ :LONLQVRQ IHOO WR WKH ÁRRU ZLWK D VKRXOGHU LQMXU\ FDXVLQJ WKH HQWLUH QDWLRQ DORQJ ZLWK WKH WHDP WR IHDU IRU RXU FKDQFHV RI ZLQQLQJ WKH :HEE (OOLV FXS

-RKQVRQ WKHQ VKRXWHG Ҋ.LW.DWҋ ZKLFK LV WKH SURSҋV WKH RQO\ SRVLWLRQ ZKHUHE\ LI DQ LQMXU\ RFFXUV SOD\ PXVW VWRS VLJQDO WR IHLJQ LQMXU\ DOORZLQJ WKH WHDP WR ´WDNH D EUHDNµ -RKQVRQ WKHQ FDOOHG KLV WHDP LQ DQG ORRNHG HDFK DQG HYHU\ PHPEHU LQ WKH H\HV WHOOLQJ WKHP WKH\ ZRXOG ZLQ ZLWK RU ZLWKRXW -RKQQ\ :LONLQVRQ WR ZKLFK DOO WKH IRUZDUGV JUXQWHG WKHLU DJUHHPHQW +RZHYHU *UHHQZRRG DGPLWWHG KH VWLOO WKRXJKW ´2K VKLW µ ,W ZDV WKLV DELOLW\ WR LQVWDOO FRQÀGHQFH DW FUXFLDO VWDJHV ZKLFK PDGH -RKQVRQ D PDQ ZKR QHYHU ZHQW WR XQLYHUVLW\ DQ RXWVWDQGLQJ OHDGHU 1HYHUWKHOHVV LW VHHPV FOHDU WKDW XQLYHUVLWLHV DUH SLYRWDO LQ WKH GHYHORSPHQW RI PDQ\ RI WKH 2O\PSLF VSRUWV VXFK DV URZLQJ DUFKHU\ DQG F\FOLQJ DV WKH\ WHQG WR EH TXLWH H[FOXVLYH LQ WHUPV RI ZKR JHWV WKH RSSRUWXQLW\ WR WU\ WKHLU KDQG DW WKHP ,Q %HLMLQJ WKLV \HDU RI RXU PHGDO ZLQQHUV KDG EHHQ WR XQLYHUVLW\ (PPD 7D\ORU VKRZV ZK\ WKLV LV YDOXDEOH KDYLQJ QHYHU URZHG EHIRUH FRPLQJ WR 'XUKDP DQG JRLQJ IURP D FRPSOHWH QRYLFH WR D :RUOG FKDPSLRQVKLS EURQ]H PHGDOOLVW ZLWKLQ WZR \HDUV 6KH VDLG ´, ZRXOG QHYHU KDYH GUHDPHG RI WU\LQJ URZLQJ LI , KDGQҋW FRPH WR

'XUKDP LW KDV EHHQ DEVROXWHO\ SLYRWDO WR P\ VXFFHVV µ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ҋW GHFLGH EHWZHHQ 'XUKDP DQG WKH :DVSV $FDGHP\ KH ZRXOG JLYH KLP D ´FOLS RYHU WKH KHDG IRU HYHQ HQWHUWDLQLQJ WKH LGHD RI WXUQLQJ GRZQ 'XUKDP IRU :DVSV µ $V WKLQJV EHJDQ WR JHW D ELW KHDWHG RYHU WKH SDQHOҋV YLHZ DV WR ZK\ /HZLV +DPLOWRQ KDG VXFK DQ RXWVWDQGLQJ DELOLW\ WR PDNH WKH SHUIHFW GHFLVLRQ DW WKH FUXFLDO PRPHQW *UHHQZRRG GHFLGHG WR EULQJ WKLQJV WR DQ HQG RIIHULQJ HYHU\RQH LQ WKH URRP D SLQW LQ WKH 8QLRQ EDU HYHQWXDOO\ EX\LQJ DQ LPSUHVVLYH URXQG RI RYHU SLQWV

18

SPORT

Got tales from the team? sport@palatinate.org.uk

Tuesday 9 December 2008 palatinate.org.uk

JGFIK %8&6 :HGQHVGD\ IUR]HQ RXW VXE ]HUR WHPSHUDWXUHV DQG KHDY\ VQRZ OHG WR WKH FDQFHOODWLRQ RI PDQ\ Âż[WXUHV ODVW ZHHN

PHOTO: ALASTAIR BARBER

Durham Fencing launch comeback to beat Birmingham as imperious Roberts dominates two BUCS Sabre Events BUCS Men’s Premier North Durham University 130 Birmingham University 119 Katie Spencer IN A FANTASTIC week for Durham Fencing, the Men’s Firsts achieved a vital win over Birmingham, while Keira Roberts took two BUCS Sabre titles. On Wednesday, the club earned a great win after it faced Birmingham in a closely contested match. The visiting Birmingham team dominat-

ed the Epee and Foil events, but failed to FKDOOHQJH WKH VWURQJ 6DEUH ÀJKWHUV UHSUHsenting the Palatinate side. 7KH FRQÀGHQFH GHWHUPLQDWLRQ DQG VNLOO evident within the Durham team contributed to the great early play witnessed as the Foil round commenced. Boya Wang fenced well, earning some vital hits for the resident side. Well rehearsed Balestras and perfectly timed attacks allowed Durham to reduce the Birmingham advantage, and resulted in a

narrow 45-43 defeat. :LWK D WZR SRLQW GHÀFLW DIWHU WKH ÀUVW ZHDSRQ WKH VWURQJ (SHH ÀJKWHUV ZRUNHG hard to diminish their rival’s lead. Encouraged by club captain Toby Betterson, Tom Moorcroft and Nick Zissler performed well to reduce the Birmingham score, producing a tiny defeat of just one point, at 43-42. Trailing by just three points with the strongest weapon yet to come, Durham were certain they could succeed. The SaEUH ÀJKWHUV SURYHG WKHLU VWUHQJWK DV WKHLU hits tally rapidly increased. Men’s captain Diddier Nohlmans refused the opponents any points whilst Welshman Mike Evans-Jones recorded many hits for the home side, resulting in a 45–31 victory. The impressive Sabre result delighted the entire team who celebrated the overall

success of the match. With three BUCS points achieved, the Durham men now pursue additional victories to further enhance their position in the Premier league. BUCS Sabre Events Durham’s fencers made an emphatic impact in Cornwall last weekend, with no less than three students securing a top 16 ÀQLVK LQ WKH 6DEUH HYHQW The competition was part of the GBR Senior circuit, and had it not been for the fact that the three faced each other at various stages of the event, the overall results would probably have been even more impressive. Louise Creechan, a fresher from Van Mildert, made it to the last 16 before being beaten by Angela Bilardi (Hild Bede).

$QJHOD ZDV WKHQ EHDWHQ LQ WKH VHPL ÀQDO by Keira Roberts (University College) but won bronze. Roberts went on to seal the title, defeating the current GBR number one who has just returned from the Beijing Olympics. Later in the week Roberts capped off a ÀQH ZHHN IRU 'XUKDP )HQFLQJ FRQWLQXLQJ her exceptional start to her Durham career by winning another BUCS Sabre title on Friday. Roberts, one of seven V.C. scholars, VWRUPHG WR WKH ÀQDO E\ GHIHDWLQJ KHU RSposition with considerable ease. +RZHYHU WKH ÀQDO ZDV DQ HQWLUHO\ GLIIHUent encounter with Brunel’s Kate Hendra pushing Roberts all the way. $W HDFK WKH PDWFK ZDV ÀQHO\ EDOanced, but it was Roberts who eventually stepped up to the plate, securing a 15 – 13 victory over her rival.

'8:$)& JHW RII WKH PDUN ZLWK YLWDO 6KHIÂżHOG YLFWRU\ PHOTO: MARK LOVELL

BUCS Northern Conference 2B Durham Women 1sts 4 6KHIÂżHOG +DOODP QGV Elizabeth Skinner

DUWAFC in action earlier in the season

DURHAM WOMEN CLAIMED a great ZLQ DJDLQVW 6KHIÀHOG +DOODP ODVW ZHHN WR UHFRUG WKHLU ÀUVW ZLQ RI WKH VHDVRQ 'XULQJ WKH ÀUVW PLQXWHV 'XUKDP were kept in the game by some excellent saves from their keeper, Holly Williams, but a defensive error on Durham’s part DOORZHG 6KHIÀHOG +DOODP WR VQHDN RQH goal ahead. +RZHYHU 'XUKDP UHFWLÀHG WKLV minutes later when Amy Perch knocked Reem Radhi’s cross past the Hallam

keeper. Holly Williams and Amy Perch struck again after 25 minutes to give the Palatinates a 2-1 lead. Holly’s long ball sailed perfectly over Hallam’s defence for Amy to run on to. Her one-on-one with the keeper gave Durham’s supporters cause to celebrate. Before the whistle blew for half-time, Amy reinforced her title as DUWAFC top scorer by heading home a cross delivered by fellow Butler student, Helen Thomas. $IWHU PLQXWHV FDODPLW\ VWUXFN IRU Durham when skipper, Nat Brierley, injured her knee in a clash with Hallam’s defender.

But despite being a player down, Rachel Bull snatched Durham’s fourth goal, strengthening their lead. Rachel’s debut goal was an impressive shot from 18 yards out. 'XUKDPҋV FRQÀGHQFH OLIWHG DQG WKLV was manifest in their excellent standard of play. Unfortunately, the visitors were allowed to claw one goal back after massive confusion amongst the Durham back four. The game ended 4-2, with Durham claiming their well-earned, long awaited three points, and ready to take their new IRXQG FRQÀGHQFH LQWR

2 C X >

Tuesday 9 December 2008 palatinate.org.uk

Know the score? sport@palatinate.org.uk

SPORT

19

JGFIK

Impressive Saints outclass local rivals

SPORT IN BRIEF Durham Netball continue to impress with double win

BUAFL South Conference 1 Durham Saints 23 Northumbria Mustangs 0

Richard Johnstone /22.,1* 72 5(%281' IURP WKHLU ÀUVW loss of the season against Teesside, the Durham Saints made the short trip to Gateshead to take on the newly formed 1RUWKXPEULD 0XVWDQJV They emerged with a crushing victory against an ever-improving Northumbria side, and exorcised some of the demons that had been troubling them since the 7HHVVLGH GHIHDW The victory was built around a very strong effort by the defence, who picked XS LWV ÀUVW VKXWRXW RI WKH VHDVRQ DQG D well balanced offense that saw points through the air, on the ground and also IURP WKH NLFNLQJ JDPH Having beaten Northumbria easily in a friendly last year, Durham could have been in danger of underestimating the LPSURYHPHQWV WKDW WKHLU ULYDOV KDG PDGH However, this was not the case as the hungry defence harried and pressured the opposing quarterback throughout the JDPH They were led by Defensive End RichDUG 'XQQ ZKR FDPH DZD\ ZLWK VDFNV and MVP honours, although he was ably assisted by Tom Filipinski and Andrew Sheppard who made a remarkable numEHU RI WDFNOHV

The defence was also aided by an opportunistic nature with four takeaways, WZR LQWHUFHSWLRQV DQG WZR IXPEOHV 2QH of each went to the formidable James 0XOOHU The offense that had struggled against Teesside was not at its best; however, this was not helped by the worryingly icy naWXUH RI WKH SLWFK As usual there was strong running from Rob Burkhill, but he was helped by Matt Wertheim who scored a touchdown and had several lung-bursting power runs that VKDWWHUHG WKH 1RUWKXPEULDQ GHIHQFH With the addition of our new fullback -RQQ\ 'DYLHV LQ WKH EDFNÀHOG WKHUH ZHUH a multitude of gaps for the two running EDFNV WR FKDUJH WKURXJK Alongside the power running game, there was also a somewhat inconsistent, EXW DW WLPHV OHWKDO SDVVLQJ JDPH The one passing touchdown came from a well worked play-fake as Alex HetherLQJWRQ ZDV DEOH WR ÀQG -RKQQ\ /HY\ DOO DORQH LQ WKH HQG]RQH In truth, the Saints should probably have scored more as the game was heavily in their favour with Northumbria offering little on the offensive; however, they righted the ship that had been wobbling after the Teesside game, and now head into the Newcastle home game with a new found FRQÀGHQFH

Collingwood top latest C0llege Points Table Simon Lamb A BITTERLY COLD November turned out to be a month to remember for a red hot &ROOLQJZRRG +LOG %HGH KDG HQMR\HG D QHDU SHUIHFW October leading the newly founded collegiate league table by 33 points over a EDWWOLQJ 6W $LGDQV However, things have truly been turned on their head as Collingwood claimed an amazing 472 points in a mere 5 weeks, consequently putting it on top of the league WDEOH ZLWK DQ LPSUHVVLYH SRLQWV Van Mildert may not have the depth of FROOHJHV OLNH +LOG %HGH DQG +DWĂ€HOG EXW LWV Premiership sides have kept its title ambiWLRQV DOLYH ZLWK D SRLQWV WXUQ DURXQG Many of these points have come from 16 point Premiership wins, and Van MildHUW 6SRUWV 2IĂ€FHU *DUHWK <DUGOH\ VWLOO EHOLHYHV FORVLQJ WKH SRLQW GHĂ€FLW LV D UHDO SRVVLELOLW\ He said: “I’m delighted we’re so high in the table this early, and if we’re in the same position come the summer, I’m sure ZH FDQ Ă€QLVK VWURQJO\ DQG SXVK &ROOLQJZRRG DOO WKH ZD\ Âľ +LOG %HGH +DWĂ€HOG DQG 7UHYHO\DQ ZLOO DOO EH FRQĂ€GHQW WKDW WKHLU WLWOH DPELWLRQV DUH QRW \HW Ă€QLVKHG ZLWK VR PXFK VSRUW DQG so many points, up for grabs before the HQG RI WKH \HDU 7KH GRJ Ă€JKW DW WKH ERWWRP RI WKH WDEOH often proves more enticing than the top, as Butler demonstrated what one good

month can do for a college’s fortunes lifting them from 16th to 9th with a 221 point PRQWK ,V WKH QHZ +LOO FROOHJH EHJLQQLQJ WR ÀQG its feet?

1

Collingwood

648

2

Van Mildert

531

3

St. Hild and St. Bede

520

4

+DWĂ€HOG

502

5

Trevelyan

453

6

St. Aidan’s

445

7

Grey

348

8

St. Cuthbert’s

289

9

Josephine Butler

268

10

John Snow

240

11

University

226

12

St. John’s

212

13

George Stephenson

126

14

St. Chad’s

125

15

St. Mary’s

119

16

Ustinov

102

PHOTO: JONATHAN ALLEN

Women’s Basketball get campaign back on track with vital win Vicki Sparks A STORMING PERFORMANCE from the Women’s Basketball Firsts saw them record an impressive 71-29 victory over 6KHIÀHOG DW 0DLGHQ &DVWOH The Palatinates are effectively a new team this season, with only four players from their last campaign remaining in the VTXDG Their previous match, a nail-bitingly close affair against Manchester Metropolitan which ended in a narrow 47-50 defeat for the Palatinates, stretched their run of winless games to four, a sequence that they ended in style with their second ELJJHVW ZLQ RI WKH VHDVRQ VR IDU In the opening minutes both teams were IDLUO\ HYHQO\ PDWFKHG ZLWK 6KHIÀHOGҋV playmaker Berry marshalling her team FRROO\ IURP WKH 6KHIÀHOG KDOI DQG PRYLQJ WKH SOD\ IRUZDUG DW D VWHDG\ SDFH But as the quarter progressed, Durham began to take their opportunities in front of the basket, with Jade Gadsby in particular scoring a couple of crucial baskets on the EUHDN The late points surge meant that Durham led 18-8 at the start of the second quarter DQG WKHLU FRQÀGHQFH ULVLQJ WKH\ FDPH RXW ZLWK DOO JXQV EOD]LQJ With Andrea Okeeffe making important interceptions in defence, Durham PDQDJHG WR ZLQ PXFK RI WKH SRVVHVVLRQ The entire team continually linked up well LQ DWWDFN SDVVLQJ WKH EDOO à XLGO\ DURXQG WKH edge of the three point arc and converting many shooting opportunities to give them a 41-15 lead at half time, putting them ÀUPO\ LQ FRQWURO RI WKH PDWFK 6KHIÀHOG FDPH RXW UHMXYHQDWHG DIWHU WKH break and Durham were put slightly on the back foot, but despite much pressure in the Durham half, the visitors simply couldn’t convert their chances due to the consistency of the Palatinates, although WKH WDOO 0DOOHFN ÀQDOO\ EHJDQ WR FDXVH Durham some problems as they slightly ORVW IRFXV

With it, Durham lost the third quarter by four points overall, with the score now at Perhaps stung by memories of their loss to Manchester Met, a game where they had also led throughout the match, Durham came out determined to get the MRE GRQH LQ WKH ODVW TXDUWHU Attacking with speed, they soon began putting their shots away, with six players getting on the scoresheet in this quarter DORQH 6KHIÀHOG KDG QR UHSO\ DQG PDQDJHG D solitary two points in the whole quarter as Fernandez, who had earlier missed two free throws, made amends by putting away a late basket to bring the score back WR But Durham were on a roll and Gadsby and Anna Jones found time to put away a further basket each before the whistle ZHQW WDNLQJ WKH ÀQDO VFRUH WR Durham can be greatly encouraged with their performance, especially with their excellent teamwork as they moved down WKH FRXUW 7KHLU VKRRWLQJ ZKLFK VXIIHUHG a slightly uncertain start, was also much PRUH SUROLÀF WKDQ WKDW RI WKHLU RSSRQHQWV who wasted several chances to get back into the match when in good positions DURXQG WKH EDVNHW Gadsby in particular was the main force behind Durham’s attack; her individual SRLQWV WRWDO RI SURYLGHG MXVW RYHU KDOI of her team’s overall score, and she never failed to convert a clear chance on the FRXQWHU DWWDFN The Palatinates’ tenacity in getting to defensive and offensive rebounds also gave them a large share of the possession, and several of their baskets came from SOD\HUV EHLQJ ÀUVW WR D PLVVHG VKRW IURP DQRWKHU WHDP PDWH Next up is a key match against Liverpool, who lie only three points ahead of Durham in the BUCS Women’s 1A Northern Conference, and based on this performance Durham will be hoping to achieve victory and leapfrog their rivals in WKH SURFHVV

Durham’s Netball Club continued their unbelievably impressive start to the VHDVRQ \HVWHUGD\ ZLWK ERWK WKH ÀUVW and second teams recording yet more comfortable victories, writes Katie Spencer. 7KH ZRPHQҋV ÀUVW WHDP ERDVWLQJ WZR under 21 internationals, proved to be MXVW WRR JRRG IRU WKHLU RSSRQHQWV IURP Northumbria as they cruised to a 60-30 YLFWRU\ RYHU 7HDP 1RUWKXPEULDҋV QGV It was hard to pick out individual SHUIRUPDQFHV EXW WKH GLVSOD\ IURP ÀUVW team captain Nicola Routledge, who weighed in with her best points total of WKH VHDVRQ ZHQW IDU IURP XQQRWLFHG 7KH Palatinates now occupy top spot, six points in front of second placed Durham 2s who arguably recorded an even more impressive victory away at title challengers WKH 6KHIÀHOG ÀUVWV It is testament to the depth and quality of the current netball programme that 6KHIÀHOG ZHUH VLPSO\ EUXVKHG DVLGH E\ D WHDP IXOO RI FRQÀGHQFH DQG ZLWK LW WKH Palatinates ensured that both teams were VLWWLQJ SUHWW\ DW WKH WRS RI WKH SLOH Next week the teams play each other, which will be a welcome relief to the rest of the teams in the league!

Hild Bede and Ustinov triumph in the snow to win Novice Cup

THE WEATHER IS rarely on the rowers’ side in the Novice Cup Regatta and this year was no exception, with low temperatures and even snow making the rowers’ MREV HYHQ KDUGHU The two day event sees novices, the YDVW PDMRULW\ RI ZKRP KDYH QHYHU URZHG before getting to Durham, take on a 700m course in coxed fours, racing in a knock RXW UHJDWWD VW\OH FRPSHWLWLRQ Each college had an impressive level of support considering the conditions, with banners decorating Baths Bridge and PDVFRWV OLQLQJ WKH EDQNV Using a new pooling system with the boats, the Exec, Regatta Committee and volunteer marshals worked extremely hard to keep the Regatta running as near WR VFKHGXOH DV SRVVLEOH As always there was a range of rowing skill and style, with much interesting steering, some near collisions and one beaching which required a safety boat ‘rescue’! $V GXVN ZDV VHWWLQJ 6W +LOG DQG 6W Bede won the Novice Cup, encouraged by loud cheering from their landing stage, followed by Ustinov Women for the Hazel 6FRWW $LWRQ 7URSK\ Van Mildert took the Royal County Plate, ZKLOH 6W &XWKEHUWŇ‹V ZRQ WKH :RPHQŇ‹V Reserve Plate in the early hours of MonGD\ PRUQLQJ

20 SPORT

Got tales from the team? sport@palatinate.org.uk

Tuesday 9 December 2008 palatinate.org.uk

Latest College Points Table

>> Page 18

PALATINATE SPORT

Dream of third place still alive for Team Durham Quentin Sloper ONE TERM IN and do Durham still have a right to believe that third place in the BUCS table remains a possibility? We can safely say that it remains a huge challenge, not only to get near to Birmingham but also to fend off universities such as the fast improving Leeds Carnegie. Also, it should be noted that until last \HDU ZH KDG QHYHU ÀQLVKHG KLJKHU WKDQ ÀIWK DQG LW LV ZRUWK UHPHPEHULQJ KRZ easy it is to collapse - universities such as Cambridge and the University of Wales, Cardiff disappeared from their ever present top ten places last year. With all of that said – Team Durham have given themselves every chance! The rowers outperformed all challengers at the Small Boats Head, securing the ÀUVW QDWLRQDO WLWOH RI WKH DFDGHPLF \HDU LQ the process. They came back with more medals and points than ever before, also having had D YHU\ VXFFHVVIXO WLPH DW WKH ÀUVW URXQG RI the GBR trials. 7KH ÀYHV FOXE DOVR KDG DQ DPD]LQJO\ successful BUCS Championship, with no less than two players reaching the singles VHPL ÀQDOV DQG WKUHH SDLUV PDNLQJ WKH last eight of the doubles, with fresher pair ,QLJR $FNODQG DQG $OH[ *ULIÀWKV HYHQWXDOO\ clinching the doubles title for the Palatinates. It would be wrong not to mention the success of the Canoe Club. This year the club, in conjunction with its alumni, has been asked to host two of the three BUCS events, a huge achievement in itself. The Wild Water Racing competition took place in mid-November and the Palatinates GLG QRW GLVDSSRLQW ÀQLVKLQJ IRXUWK overall. Next up is the Canoe Slalom in February where Durham will expect to do even better. The Cycling Club has also built on its success in 2007/08, and has already secured further medals. The hill climb is far from Durham’s strongest discipline, but the Palatinates still walked away with D EURQ]H LQ WKH PHQҋV WHDP HYHQW ZLWK Hamish Blair, Rob Simpson and Harry Evans recording the times that counted for Durham. Durham also boasts one of the strongest sabre teams in the history of British University fencing. Fresher Kiera Roberts was crowned BUCS Sabre Champion in late November, and she has also had a huge amount of success beyond student level, recently defeating Great Britain’s number one senior sabre fencer. She is DEO\ EDFNHG XS E\ ÀQDOLVW $QJHOD %LODUGL and fresher Louise Creechan, both of whom are ranked within the top twenty in Britain at senior level. The BUCS Wednesday league programme has already left Durham believing that more silverware might be around the corner.

Traditionally strong sports, such as rugby union and hockey, have not disappointed. There is every chance that many ÀUVW WHDPV ZLOO HQG XS LQ VHHGHG SRVLWLRQV for the Championship knockout stages whilst the strength in depth further down the programme is impressive with some second teams dominating in programmes ZKLFK LQFOXGH ODUJH DQG HVWDEOLVKHG ÀUVW teams from elsewhere. Results in England Hockey’s National League North have been nothing short of phenomenal with the men going into Christmas joint top, and our women lying in third position. One of the key changes made to sport at Durham at the present time is to bring in full-time coaches for a wider range of sports and the university has seen immeGLDWH EHQHÀWV ZLWK PDQ\ RI RXU VLGHV FRQtinuing to develop at a fast pace. The women’s lacrosse side will go into Christmas believing that a national title is possible whilst men’s basketball are odds on favourites to secure a second successive promotion. The strength of the tennis programme is outstanding. Durham may never have the ability to compete with the four key LTA scholarship universities on a regular basis, but taking into account the success RI WHDPV DW ÀUVW VHFRQG DQG WKLUG WHDP level, they are already one of the top six performing tennis universities in Britain. The full time coaching programme is an initiative that is heavily supported by the College system, and as the structure is developed further the Colleges will gain increasing support - not only strengthening College performance sport but also WKH DGPLQLVWUDWLRQ DQG RIÀFLDWLQJ RI FROlege competitions. The Golf Club has also surpassed expectations again. Going into Christmas the men’s 1s lie in third place in the Northern Premier League with an outside chance of D WRS WZR ÀQLVK WKLV ZRXOG EH DQ DPD]LQJ accomplishment bearing in mind that they are surrounded by R&A bursary funded institutions. The same can be said of the Squash Club, whose women ended up being ranked fourth in the country in the BUCS National League programme. The BUCS Northern Cup, an addition to the 2008/09 competition calendar, also looks like it will provide a platform for success for many Durham sides. Durham’s objective at the beginning of the season was to win eight regional trophies at this level. At this stage Team Durham would fancy its chances to win six and would certainly not count itself out of the equation in another three or four. So has term one been a success in terms of BUCS sport? The answer to that is emphatically yes. However much more of the same is needed if third or even fourth place is to become a reality.

2 C X

PHOTO: ELIZABETH FUNG

Durham University Fencing had a fantastic week with Keira Roberts clinching two BUCS sabre titles and the Men’s Firsts also grabbing a vital win against Birmingham. >> Full story, Page 18

>

INDIGO indigo@palatinate.org.uk

Tuesday 9 December 2008 palatinate.org.uk

PALATINATE

christmas shopping EDFNVWDJH DW ¿ WWHVW IUHVKHU the shortwave set michael o’neill company MGMT

@E;@>F F>@;E

The Christmas Issue Seasonal make-up secrets Christmas gift ideas for everyone Comprehensive festive listings PHOTOGRAPH: MARC PRITCHARD MAKE-UP: LOUISE ORMISTON

2

INDIGO

Got a features idea? features@palatinate.org.uk

Tuesday 9 December 2008 palatinate.org.uk

=<8KLI<J

Not done your Christmas shopping yet? The Palatinate DUWV WHDP VXJJHVWV VRPH VWRFNLQJ Âż OOHUV WR JLYH WR \RXU IDPLO\ DQG D ÂľIUHQHP\Âś WRR WKLV &KULVWPDV

Books

Film For your Mum: Nigella Christmas by Nigella Lawson Just in time for Christmas dinner, awaken your mother’s inner domestic goddess with Nigella’s guide to Festive food!

ILLUSTRATION: ANTHONIE CHIU

For your Dad: Dreams From My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance by Barack Obama (Author) Inspire your Dad with the memoirs of America’s President Elect and arguably the most important SXEOLF À JXUH RI For your Mum: Mamma Mia! The Soundtrack It’s cheesy and corny but you SUREDEO\ FRXOGQҋW À QG DQ\WKLQJ better for your mother to boogie too while preparing your luscious Christmas meal.

For your Dad: Private Investigations - The %HVW RI 0DUN .QRSĂ HU DQG 'LUH Straits Dire Straits is often regarded as ‘Dad rock’ and this recommendation may solidify that opinion but there is a great mixture of anthems which everyone will like.

For your Brother: Vampire Weekend The most unique indie album release in recent time sees this New York group explore African rhythms. Quirky and fun, what more would your brother want?

For your Sister: The Wombats Proudly Present... A Guide To Love, Loss and Desperation The Wombats have had several massive hits from this album. Appealing to all audiences you can guarantee your sister will boogie around to this in her bedroom. For your Grandparents: Swing When You Are Winning Some have no interest in music, some prefer to stick to classical music and some may even like DOO RXW V VW\OH VZLQJ :LWK KLV last group in mind we recommend Robbie Williams’ take on the Rat Pack. As a Lump of Coal: Aqua’s Greatest Hits It’s so awful, who wouldn’t think it was a joke? Seb Payne & Daniel Bjelis

For your Brother: The Mighty Book of Boosh by Julian Barratt, Noel Fielding, and Dave Brown ‘If Salvador Dali, Dr Seuss and Douglas Adams had ever cracked open a bottle of absinthe and written a sitcom, it might have turned out like this.’

For your Mum: Mamma Mia! Aside from the fun plot, which Mum wouldn’t want to see Pearce Brosnan and Colin Firth attempt to sing? For your Dad: Michael McIntyre: Live & Laughing Whilst every one else in the family is busy trying out new gadgets or clothes, let Dad sit back and enjoy some great stand-up from McIntyre’s live show at the Apollo. For your Brother: Hancock Will Smith stars as an unusual superhero who needs a bit of a push to save the world. For your Sister: Kung-Fu Panda Actors such as Jackie Chan and Angelina Jolie provide voices for the cute characters in WKLV À OP VXLWDEOH IRU D VLVWHU RI DQ\ DJH For your Grandparents: La Vie en Rose $ À QH ELRSLF WHOOLQJ the dramatic story of the French singer Edith Piaf.

As a Lump of Coal: Hollyoaks Dance Workout An excellent way to shed a few pounds come Boxing Day! For your Sister: PostSecret: Extraordinary Confessions from Ordinary Lives by Frank Warren This artistic collection of anonymous postcards is powerfully moving, outrageously comical DQG GRZQULJKW EDIà OLQJ DOO DW once. It’ll have your sister turning SDJHV E\ WKH À UH IRU KRXUV For your Grandparents: I Never Knew That About England [Illustrated] Christopher Winn This treasure-chest of unknown facts and delights of Great Brittania is like the Queen’s speech: patriotic, traditional and the perfect accompaniment to your grandfather’s Port.

As a Lump of Coal: The Credit Crunch: Housing Bubbles, Globalisation and the Worldwide Economic Crisis by Graham Turner On Christmas day, the words ‘downturn’ and ‘recession’ are practically expletives. Please, can we forget about it for just one day? Suitable for frenemies only. Emma Ashru Jones

Poppy Macleod

ILLUSTRATION: CLAIRE COOMBES

Music

2 C X >

Got a Features idea? features@palatinate.org.uk

Tuesday 9 December 2008 palatinate.org.uk

INDIGO 3

GIF=@C<

T

he growth of Fraser Doherty’s jam making phenomenon has, quite literally, been organic. ‘When I was 14, if I’d said to people I wanted to sell my jam to huge supermarket chains, people would have said I was crazy; I wouldn’t have believed it myself. But when I left school at 16 to pursue my idea [replacing the tooth-decaying sugar in jam with grape juice, and experimenting with some different fruits] it just felt right in my gut. I felt I could make it.’ However, even as a young child Fraser showed a remarkable knack for business. ‘I was always interested in making and selling things. I’d peddle my jam and cakes and things at markets, fairs, church fetes – really the business just grew and grew from there.’ Yet despite this remarkable aptitude for making money, Fraser’s LQWHUHVW LQ EXVLQHVV LV PRUH HWKLFDO WKDQ Ă€QDQFLDO His role models are Anita Roddick and the founders of Ben and Jerry’s; people who have used their business as an engine for doing good. Much of Fraser’s job satisfaction comes from IROORZLQJ LQ WKHLU IRRWVWHSV DQG KH LQYHVWV D ORW RI KLV SURĂ€W LQ projects like Superjam’s tea parties for the elderly . For Fraser, it’s less what you know, more what you believe in; having the right frame of mind is crucial for success, along with ‘self-motivation, a willingness to try new ideas, being open to change and accepting things when they don’t work out.’ Nevertheless, he’s not blind to the value of a ÂŁ5000 grant from the Princes’ Trust, along with an abiding need for frugality. ‘At the start all the money I made from the jam went straight back into investing in the business’. He is also, like fellow entrepreneurs Rhodri and Richard, very much indebted to the British Library, whose Business and IP centre offers crucial advice to pioneers looking to establish their own business or product. Fraser’s Superjam encapsulates what many feel to be the greatest asset of entrepreneurship; getting paid for doing what you love. Fraser also loves the element of freedom that comes with running your own business, both in terms of managing your time, and, perhaps more importantly, sticking to your principles – in Fraser’s case, ‘natural LQJUHGLHQWV JUHDW WDVWH QR XQKHDOWK\ VXJDU RU VZHHWHQHUVŇ‹ DQG SKLODQWKURS\ WKURXJK SURĂ€W Whilst he admits to occasionally feeling a ‘wee bit lonely’ when he started off, he now enjoys fairly continuous contact with people at all levels. So much for super-plan – but what about the jam itself? What’s Fraser’s favourite? ‘Orange and passion fruit. Or maybe cranberry and raspberry.’ On toast? ‘On everything.’

FRASER DOHERTY SuperJam

So you want to be an

Entrepreneur? RICHARD WOODS DIY Kyote

S

tudying for an MA at the Royal College, budding young designer Richard Woods had never really considered the possibility of setting up his own business. Nevertheless, as KH SXW WKH Ă€QLVKLQJ WRXFKHV WR SURMHFW :DWVRQ 5LFKDUG UHDOLVHG KH was looking at a business plan in the making. 6 years later and DIY Kyote, a selection of products designed VSHFLĂ€FDOO\ WR KHOS \RX PRQLWRU DQG PDQDJH \RXU HQHUJ\ FRQVXPSWLRQ in the home and at work, hit the market. There is no real shining role model or childhood ambition behind Richard’s success, but simply a belief in his product and its potential to ‘provide a solution’ to the environmental problems we now face. Richard is sceptical about investing too heavily in extensive market research in the initial stages. ŇŠ,I \RXU LGHD LV YHU\ QHZ LW LV GLIĂ€FXOW WR WHVW LW RQ WKH PDUNHW , wouldn’t put too much store behind market research in the initial stages. If, after putting your idea into practice, people aren’t buying, then reconsider; research companies are expensive ventures unless you are going to get tangible results’ Passion, on the other hand, is essential; ‘it’s been a long, hard slog – 6 years from prototype to product. If I didn’t believe in it it would have been a struggle.’ Another essential ingredient in Richard’s recipe for success has been media coverage – a thinly-veiled form of free advertising that he believes is worth aiming for, even if it means modifying your product slightly. ‘When you are just starting up and can’t afford the cost of advertising, press interest – and, by implication, the public interest, is a gift.’ Setting up a business with almost no business experience might seem precipitate; but Richard has no regrets. ‘I found the inexperience more positive than negative – being fresh out of university means you have none of the bad business habits that could impede your growth. You’re used to living frugally, not too accustomed to the security of a regular job, and you’ve plenty of enthusiasm to sustain you when the going gets tough.’ :KHQ LW FRPHV WR WKH FKDOOHQJHV RI Ă€QDQFLDO VXSSRUW 5LFKDUG KDV EHQHĂ€WWHG KXJHO\ IURP D 1(67$ EXVLQHVV grant. Here, he shares his top tips: ‘I was quite an idealist when I started, which can hamper your cause when it comes to investors. People don’t want to invest in idealists – they want people who will make positive Ă€QDQFLDO UHWXUQV DQG D VKDUS EXVLQHVV SODQ ZLWK WDQJLEOH JRDOV Ň‹ 1HYHUWKHOHVV HYHQ WKRXJK KH ZDV IRUWXQDWH LQ DWWDLQLQJ LQYHVWPHQW ŇŠVRPH WUDLQLQJ PDQDJLQJ WKRVH Ă€QDQFHV wouldn’t have gone amiss’. Richard was fortunate in having a small team of people to share his experience with; but he still claims there ZHUH WLPHV ZKHQ KH IHOW YHU\ DORQH ŇŠ, ZDV DFXWHO\ DZDUH RI WKH ODFN RI Ă€QDQFLDO VHFXULW\ DQG WKH NQRZOHGJH that it could go wrong at any point never really leaves you. The main challenge is to realise this risk and manage it’. All in all Watson seems like a great idea – but I can’t help thinking the Big Brother-esque record of your environmental impact might develop into something of an obsession? ‘Not really. Watson is about being sensible about what you use, and having a normal life without the waste’.

RUSSELL COWIE Cowie Entertainment

LIKE FRASER, RUSSELL exhibited entrepreneurial characteristics from an early age, ever eager to put his hand to new and potentially untested ideas, and always organising and planning events and activities. Whilst there ‘was never really a conscious decision to work for [himself]’, Russell’s avid pursuit of experience in the various sectors of events management stood him in good stead, from earning some pocket money by helping to construct marquees, right up to spending a day this summer with the ‘truly inspiring’ TLC events manager Liz Taylor. This invaluable meeting with Liz Taylor arose out of what FDQ RQO\ EH GHVFULEHG DV 5XVVHOOŇ‹V UHPDUNDEOH Ă DLU IRU IRUJLQJ new contacts; the result of ‘many, many years of being told repeatedly by my parents about how important networking was in any industry’. When Russell was 16 his father showed him his vast pile of hundreds of business cards, dating back from when Russell’s father was a student; Russell has been following in his footsteps ever since, forging relations with everyone from music managers and bands, to technicians, designers and club managers. As an entrepreneur in Durham University, Russell has faced many challenges in the past two years, of which balancing his studies with his business was just one. The other, he says, is the unpredictable nature of an audience who, as we all well know,

are notoriously hard to please. Along with the manifest ‘lack of venues’, the music mags and college papers are hard judges, making event production a ruthless business. Russell isn’t complaining; ‘putting on stuff here has been a valuable learning experience’ that will stand him in good stead for when he moves south, and the comparatively unsuccessful launching of two new events this term has been an important lesson in the ability to ‘brush disappointments under the carpet and move on’. Like it or loathe it, competing with the seemingly endless attractions of Klute and Studio is tough.. Russell is open about some of the disappointments he has had this term, but he remains optimistic about the future. ‘Digital Love’ has, after all, been a huge hit with Durham; the challenge now will be in customising it to ‘new venues and cities across the country, all of which differentiate in taste enormously’. Plans to launch it in Stockton and London are already in place - check out London’s Mahiki club if you’re in town on the 22nd! - and the Digital legend will continue to run here next term. All these developments mean Russell can no longer operate as a ‘one –man band’, which he sees as inherently restrictive even whilst it keeps the costs down. His new recruits, new ideas and renewed enthusiasm are all signs that Cowie Entertainment is here to stay.

You might say there’s never been a better time to be self-employed; graduate jobs are increasingly thin on the ground, and if you’ve got what it takes, then this age is the best time to think about going it alone. Clare Finney talks to four budding businessmen about the DIY approach to employment.

RHODRI FERRIER Bulldog Natural Grooming Men

G

raduating from Nottingham in 2004, Rhodri’s career plan ZDV SUHWW\ FRQYHQWLRQDO DW Ă€UVW - a quick circuit of the career fair DQG VRPH 0LONURXQG VXUĂ€QJ OHDG to a graduate job with UBS, and it wasn’t until 7 years later Ferrier started to think seriously about an alternative career path. He saw the perfect opportunity in the dearth of natural male grooming products. ‘Whilst there were female products, men were faced with either unexciting brands like L’Oreal, or the heady teenage aromas or Lynx’. Rhodri’s answer, natural grooming products for men, was a happy coincidence of right place in terms of market appeal and right time in terms of Rhodri’s career and lifestyle demands. ‘I was fed up with the pace of city life and looking for a lifestyle change. Bulldog was the perfect opportunity for me to reclaim control over my life, DQG SURYLGH DQ RXWOHW IRU WKH FUHDWLYLW\ WKDW , KDG QRW UHDOO\ EHHQ DEOH WR H[SUHVV LQ 8%6 ,Q D ODUJH Ă€UP like that you are one cog in a large machine and your ability to effect change is extremely limited. You don’t count on a meaningful level.’ Whilst it is tempting to regard Ferrier’s career at UBS as an invaluable grounding in business experience, Ferrier himself is not so sure. ‘In many ways it’s a case of the earlier the better. You need to get off the ground before the responsibilities of adulthood kick in.’ 2QH UHVRXUFH 5KRGUL EHOLHYHV QR HQWUHSUHQHXU FDQ GR ZLWKRXW LV D JRRG Ă€QDQFLDO XQGHUVWDQGLQJ ŇŠ8QGHUVWDQGLQJ KRZ WR SURJUHVV IURP VDOHV WR QHW SURĂ€W WR JURVV SURĂ€W LV FUXFLDO 6LJQ XS WR D FRXUVH LI \RX can; at the very least, get a few good books.’ The second, perhaps unsurprisingly, is the ability to network; in particular, a willingness to ‘share your ideas, and not be tempted to hide them in fear of someone stealing them. The incentive to exchange DGYLFH DQG WLSV DQG VR SURĂ€W LQGLUHFWO\ E\ \RXU VXFFHVV IDU RXWZHLJKV WKH LQFHQWLYH WR VWHDO \RXU LGHDV Ň‹ Today, Rhodri’s red-blooded branding looks like a fail-safe; but Rhodri’s biggest challenge in the early stages was ‘convincing people to invest in a product that was unique, but untested; there was no prototype, and building up production was very much a grass roots affair.’ )RU DOO WKDW 5KRGULŇ‹V HQWUHSUHQHXULDO GLIĂ€FXOWLHV FHQWUHG DURXQG LQYHVWPHQW DQG VHFXULW\ KH LV YHU\ clear that these were ‘massively outweighed by the advantages of being more in control. The added responsibility and pressures just adds to the fun of doing what you really want to, how you want to do it’.

4

INDIGO

Eaten at any good restaurants? features@palatinate.org.uk

Tuesday 9 December 2008 palatinate.org.uk

C@=< JKPC< What’s cookin’ good lookin’? Xmas Sticky Toffee Pudding

ÂżWWHVW IUHVKHU Fallen Angel 2008 %HKLQG WKH VFHQHV The

Everyone knows there’s more to a photo than a pretty face, even if you do happen to be the latest Adonis. Adam Richards went behind the scenes at the big photoshoot (see centre spread) to meet the make-up artists, hair stylists, VW\OLVWV DQG SKRWRJUDSKHUV ZKR PDGH 'XUKDPœV ¿WWHVW IUHVKHUV ZHOO ¿WWHU

0DNH XS DVVLVWDQW 5RVLH DGGV WKH ÂżQLVKLQJ WRXFKHV WR Livvy, below, whilst Editor Emily and photographer Marc check the results on screen.

>> Joss Barker Take a well-earned break to muster up this morishly decadent British winter classic. Done properly, Sticky Toffee Pudding never fails to impress. If you don’t have the time or the ingredients for the cake, never underestimate the power of toffee sauce; one spoonful of this nectarous VXJDU ZLOO GHÀQLWHO\ KHOS WKH PHGLFLQH JR down‌ 200g chopped dates 300ml water 1 tsp sodium bicarbonate 60g butter 150g caster sugar 2 eggs J VHOI UDLVLQJ à RXU

Hair stylist Emma adds some 1920s glamour to the heads of Richard, above, and Sophie, below.

Sauce: Warm 1 cup brown sugar, 160g butter and 1 cup cream in a saucepan. Keep adding until you are happy with the taste. DO NOT BOIL... 1. Boil the dates in water for 5 minutes to soften them. Remove from the heat and add bicarbonate of soda – don’t worry if it Ă€]]HV ² WKDWŇ‹V RN 2. Stand for 5 minutes and then process the date mixture to form a smooth paste. 3. Cream the butter and the sugar. Beat the eggs and add them to this mixture, mix well. 6LIW DQG IROG LQ WKH Ă RXU 5. Pour the mixture into an 8 inch greased cake tin and bake in the oven at 180oC for 55 minutes. 6. Allow the pudding to stand for 10 minutes, pour over some of the sauce and return to the oven for 5 minutes. 7. Run a knife around the tin edges and remove whilst the cake is still warm to prevent it from sticking. 8. Serve with the sauce and cream, ice FUHDP RU FXVWDUG ² RU DOO WKUHH

Palatinate’s Photography Editor Marc Pritchard assesses the scene. The Senate Suite in the Castle proved to be the perfect location for the Vanity Fair style glamour Marc was hoping to achieve.

Out of Africa

Somewhere amongst the foothills of Mount Kenya, 250km north of the Kenyan capital Nairobi, lies an unknown little village called Mutunyi. Off the beaten track, yet rich in stunning natural scenery, I decided to spend 4 weeks in Mutunyi on my GAP year, volunteering with a friend at the village school. During our time there we were given an authentic taste of African life as we stayed with ‘Moses’ the deputy head of the school at which we were teaching, savouring the delights of East African cuisine and culture. When we arrived we were treated like sports heroes and the headmaster kindly re-wrote the timetable so we could actually teach. The children were all complete characters; in one of many memorable incidents, Frederick, the class lad and a real scamp, decided to take it upon himself to inject some excitement into what had been a rather tame morning. Picking up a stick, he dislodged a snake

he had spotted in the rafters, poked it to death, and then proceeded to bait all the JLUOV ZLWK LW )UHXG ZRXOG KDYH KDG D Ă€HOG day. On one weekend we were invited to stay with a teacher, who owned a tea farm on Mount Kenya. It was intriguing to see how tea plants were harvested, and quite comforting to share a pombe (beer) with him and his friends. However not all local delicacies were so warmly received, and I would certainly not recommend the local ‘Arrowroot’ (a plant which grows in VWUHDPV DQG WDVWHV OLNH FDQGOH ZD[ On another weekend were taken by a local goatherd ‘Peter’ on a safari walk, walked though the African bush to a waterfall with a pool to go swimming in, before spotting a rogue giraffe on the walk EDFN :H ZHUH GHĂ€QLWHO\ D ORQJ ZD\ IURP home. The children at the school had a tendency to take what we said too literally. Here in England we like to cherish our

Ever come away from a volunteering scheme wishing you have done more? After a month teaching at a Kenyan school, Edward Sumption did just that. Here he relates the moving experiences behind the Charlie Sumption Memorial Fund.

historical dislike of the French; something WKDW , PHQWLRQHG EULHĂ \ WR WKH FODVV GXULQJ a geography lesson.

“ Secondary education is not free to all in Kenya, and this limits what children of Mutunyi primary school can achieve�

They asked me why, and I told them that they were not always honest; an off-hand quip that I quickly forgot until, a month later, I received a thank you note from one of my pupils; ‘I will trust you, I will trust in God. But I will never trust the French’.

We were both inspired by our time at the school, and on returning to England we decide that we wanted to help the children at Mutunyi School. On the 18th April 2006 my youngest brother Charlie had died of sudden death syndrome. We wanted to use Charlie’s memory to raise money to improve the lives and prospects of Kenya children. Secondary education is not free to all in Kenya; this limits what the children of Mutunyi primary school can achieve. The Charlie Sumption Memorial Fund (CSMF) now sponsors an annual scholarship enabling the most able student from the school to attend secondary education. 2XU ÀUVW VFKRODU %RQLIDFH VWDUWHG secondary school at the beginning of February. In addition to this we are raising money to build a library at the school as we believe that a library is essential in any learning environment - even if it is the continual bane of our existence here LQ 'XUKDP

It costs a modest ÂŁ360 to send a student to secondary school. So far this money has come from our weekly football tournament at Soccarena, and last term’s ‘Party for Charlie’ in Cuths. This term we are planning to follow up the success of this event with an event at LOFT - see below for details if you’re interested.

BOMBASTIC @ LOFT. 9th December Tickets are ÂŁ5, which includes a CSMF Beanie, entry and ÂŁ1.50 Jagerbombs

2 C X >

Got a Features idea? features@palatinate.org.uk

Tuesday 9 December 2008 palatinate.org.uk

INDIGO 5

C@=< JKPC<

THE RAZOR BLADE

For the Alcoholic: Cinnamon Cordial

TA YL OR

Credit Crunch Christmas

SA SU

For the Gourmet: Homemade Christmas Cheese

You will need: *2 pints full fat milk *4 tbsp natural yoghurt *2 tsp salt *Large sprig of sage *+DQGIXO RI Ă€ QHO\ FKRSSHG FUDQEHUULHV *50cm x 50cm muslin cloth *Large saucepan *Large mixing bowl *Small plastic food container *Small piece of thick cardboard 1. Cut a star out of thick cardboard and place it in the bottom of the food container. 2. Heat the milk, yoghurt, sage and salt in the saucepan until it comes to the boil, then reduce the heat. Heat for 5-10mins. The fat should start to separate into little globs. If this doesn’t happen, add more yoghurt. 3. Spread the muslin loosely over the mixing bowl (it helps to have a sous chef at this stage) and strain the milk through it into the bowl. 4. Gather all the corners of the muslin to form a sack and return it to the pan. Twist the muslin around the handle of the pan to secure it, then use a spoon to VTXDVK WKH FKHHVH WR JHW RXW DV PXFK OLTXLG DV SRVVLEOH %H FDUHIXO ² LW ZLOO EH hot! 5. Press the cheese into the food container and trim the muslin, leaving enough excess to gather together on top of the cheese. Put a can of baked beans (or similar) on top of the cheese to weigh it down. Leave to cool then put in the fridge for at least 4 hours. 6. Remove cheese from fridge and food container. To present you could tie a Christmas bow around the muslin or put it in a gift box.

For the Booklover: A Literary Bag for Life

You will need: *1 fabric ‘bag for life’ *4 or 6 old books *Self-adhesive covering plastic *Power Pritt gel *Double sided fabric tape (available from John Lewis) *:UDSSLQJ SDSHU *4m pretty ribbon 1. Cut two lengths of ribbon 6cm longer than the handles of your Bag for Life and attach them to the top side of the handles with fabric tape, leaving a few cm spare at each end. 2. Cut two rectangles of wrapping paper the same size as your bag. 3. Tear the front and back covers from your books (if you can’t bear to do this to Dickens or Steinbeck use 6 Mills & Boon’s to make one of those grand excuses for bad taste, an ironic fashion statement). Arrange the front covers on the wrapping paper and Pritt Stick in place. Repeat with the back covers on the second piece of wrapping paper. 4. Cover the two sheets with self-adhesive plastic covering and stick them to the bag using Power Pritt Gel. Make sure the loose ends of the handle ribbon are underneath. 5. Attach the ribbon along the edge of the bag (to cover the rough edges of the paper) using fabric tape. To make it neater fold over the ends of the ribbon and secure with wonder tape. VARIATIONS: For some good angermanagement therapy, use the covers of last year’s textbooks. Or for a muso friend try some CD or LP sleeves.

You will need: *500ml cordial/sloe gin bottle (available from Lakeland Ltd, ÂŁ2.99) *500ml plastic food container *50cm x 50cm muslin cloth *500ml whisky *40g white sugar cube *30g bruised cinnamon sticks *Bicarbonate of soda 1. Fill the food container with water, mix in 2tsp bicarbonate of soda, close and shake. Empty the container. 2. Put the whisky, sugar cubes and cinnamon in the container, close and leave for ten days. Give it a shake every so often. 3. Repeat Step 1 with the cordial bottle. 4. Filter the whisky through the muslin into a bowl or jug, then pour it into the cordial bottle and close the bottle. 5. Decorate with glitter glue, stickers and ribbon! VARIATION: Substitute the whisky for brandy and the cinnamon for ginger.

Sloe GIn You will need: *450g/1lb sloes *225g/8oz caster sugar *1 litre/1ž pint gin The traditional way of making sloe gin is to infuse gin with the berries. Sugar is reTXLUHG WR HQVXUH WKDW WKH VORH MXLFHV DUH H[WUDFWHG IURP WKH IUXLW $OPRQG à DYRULQJ may also be added for those without nut allergies. 1. Prick the tough skin of the sloes all over with a clean needle and put in a large sterilised jar. 2. Pour in the sugar and the gin, seal tightly and shake well. 3. Store in a cool, dark cupboard and shake every other day for a week. Then shake once a week for two months. 4. The sloe gin will now be a beautiful dark red and ready to drink, although it will still improve with keeping. VARIATIONS: Make blackberry brandy in the same way, substituting blackberries for the sloes and brandy for the gin. Blackberries do not need pricking.

6QRZĂ€ DNH FRQIHWWL ÂŁ1.00

O

n a weekend when Miley Cyrus outshone Britney, the world raised awareness for HIV on AIDS day, and SHAG week came to an end, I probably should be talking about chastity rings, condoms, and Chlamydia. I have seen the photos of Miss Cyrus on the interQHW DQG FDOO PH D F\QLF EXW , KLJKO\ GRXEW KHU ZHGGLQJ QLJKW ZLOO EH KHU Ă€ UVW PDNLQJ of, as Othello’s Iago would say, “the beast with two backsâ€?. In fact I am pretty sure she’d know her way round a condom packet already. I won’t go so far as to say she’s an expert on the clap, mainly because defending law suits isn’t my favourite way to spend my time, especially at this time of year. So with sexual safety on my mind, my ‘once’ weekly foray into Klute this week reVXOWHG LQ PH GDQFLQJ ZRUVH WKDQ -RKQ 6HUJHDQW WR P\ Ă€ UVW :LQWHU -LQJOHV RI WKH \HDU No doubt I will be bored of them come Boxing Day, but for now I cannot think of a better way of passing the hour between 1am and 2am on a Monday morning. Sleigh bells and snow-a-glistening aside, Christmas is a challenging time. From the start of December I’m forced to eat chocolate, from the Action Man advent calendar, WR WKH HQGOHVV WLQV RI &HOHEUDWLRQV , DP LQXQGDWHG ZLWK RIIHUV RI VWXIĂ€ QJ LQ HYHU\ Gregg’s sandwich special, in chickens, in turkeys, pigs and geese. Then there is cheese, after every meal. Brie, stilton, a healthy grape, biscuits, and more devilishly tasty fatty yummy cheese. It’s a recipe for disaster, all that hard work of the last ten months, gone, in one incredible two week feast-fest. Plus it’s cold outside, there’s no rugby, football, or hockey to be played. Maiden Castle isn’t just round the corner anymore - in fact there is no way I can exercise at all. I might as well watch TV then. The kids’ party needs a Santa Claus, and who’s old Saint Nick without a hefty beer gut anyway? That’s right, this is what Crimbo is all about. Pass me a beer, I’ve got mince pies to eat. Thankfully this year I will be spending the festive period in a small North Yorkshire village called Giggleswick (with a name like that Christmas can’t fail to be ‘happy’). A soon to be marathon-running friend of mine will kindly be providing the accommodation on the condition that I accompany her on some training runs up some of England’s most beautiful walking trails. I have been promised snow-capped peaks, IUR]HQ ZDWHUIDOOV DQG PDJQLĂ€ FHQW YLHZV , DP H[SHFWLQJ FROG HDUV PXGG\ WUDLQHUV and very sore legs. It might just be worth it, and it might just happen, because training when it’s cold is almost impossible without serious motivation. She has a marathon to run, and I have a training partner, something that cannot be underestimated in any Ă€ WQHVV SURJUDPPH )RU PRWLYDWLRQ VXSSRUW DQG PRUH LPSRUWDQWO\ IXQ D IULHQG ZLWK similar goals is invaluable. 6RPH RI \RX ZRQŇ‹W KDYH WKLV OX[XU\ DQG VWD\LQJ Ă€ W WKLV KROLGD\ PD\EH RQH VWUXJJOH too many. Fear not, there are ways to make your bedroom into a gym worthy of WKH Ă€ QHVW DWKOHWH ,Ň‹P QRW JRLQJ WR ERUH \RX ZLWK UDLVHG OHJ SUHVV XSV VTXDWV DQG crunches, the best exercise you can do in your bedroom is with a ‘friend’. Stay active, and keep it interesting and you will increase your (and your ‘work-out’ partner’s) Ă H[LELOLW\ <RX ZLOO JHW D VZHDW RQ DQG ZRUN \RXU FRUH PXVFOHV WR WKHLU SHDN EXUQLQJ up to 400 calories in the process. That’s as much as a good hour in the gym. If, like PLQH \RXU IULHQGV DUHQŇ‹W DV IULHQGO\ DV WKLV ŇŠZRUN RXWŇ‹ PLJKW UHTXLUH WKHQ D JRRG ELW RI imagination (or perhaps the centre spread of this issue of Palatinate) and some metime can burn an impressive 200 calories. If you don’t fancy the idea of sitting inside making yourself blind this Christmas then kneel down and pray for snow. An hour of VQRZEDOO Ă€ JKWV ZLOO QRW RQO\ EXUQ PRUH FDORULHV WKDQ DQ KRXU RI EDVNHWEDOO LW ZLOO EH fun, and oh so very Christmassy. Ultimately the winter break is a time to chill out, relax, and have a little party. Punctuate that with a bit of work, some exercise, and a skiing holiday and you should be returning to Durham come January in a pretty good place to attack 2009. Obviously on Christmas day I’ll make time to get boozed, eat cake, and open presents (I’m no Daley Thompson). I might even go to church, after all the Virgin Mary GLG VTXHH]H RXW WKDW OLWWOH -HVXV IHOOD IRU VFDQW UHZDUG DQG ZH VKRXOG FHOHEUDWH WKDW accordingly.

Doodlebug - Sugar Coating Glitter Limeade ÂŁ3.99

Christmas Card Making Essentials With purse strings tightening this Winter why not try making your own Christmas cards this year? Win brownie points for an individual touch and save some pennies in the process. Here are a few essentials to get you going and ignite your creativity. All products shown are from www.madaboutcards.com

Andrew R. Baggs

NN AH

Instead of spending a small fortune on presents this Christmas, why not get creative? Polly Gannaway is here with a step by step guide for doing it yourself.

Little Ribbon Bows (5mm) Pack of 50 ÂŁ0.99

Christmas tree stamp ÂŁ1.00

Shiny Gold Card 5xA4 Sheets ÂŁ2.49

Ribbon 3mm Gold 6 yards ÂŁ0.80

6

INDIGO

Got a flair for fashion? features@palatinate.org.uk

Tuesday 9 December 2008 palatinate.org.uk

9<8LKP

A Winter’s Tale 1R JRRG DUWLVW ZRUNV RQ D à DZHG FDQYDV DQG \RXU VNLQ LV QR H[FHSWLRQ )LRQD +LFNV JRHV EHQHDWK WKH VXUIDFH DQG GLVFXVVHV VNLQ SKLORVRSK\

E

very summer (optimistic as that may be in England), we are compounded with advice telling us how to keep our skin radiant rather than ruddy throughout the warmer months. Just as you expect to take a little extra care when it’s warmer, your skin needs even more tlc when the temperatures drop. You wouldn’t stay on a sun bed for hours on end, and neither could you sit in a freezer and expect to walk away unscathed. Just look at rosycheeked winter worker, Father Christmas: jolly he is, but pretty he ain’t. Luckily, there are a few simple and easy steps you can take to ensure that you skin stays at its luminous best during the upcoming icy weeks. The combination of the outside cold and the humidity-zapping central heating results in extreme drying out for the skin. Your skin, as amazing and multi-functional as it may be, cannot always cope from going to one extreme to the other, and this can lead to irritation, redness and the occasional dry patch. Jennifer Lopez one said that the secret to her infamous glow was to drink lots of water, and moisturize moisturize moisturize. This I believe entirely (after all, there is still plenty of time for drinking water and moisturizing in between hours of yoga and meticulous fake tan application). Moisturizing throughout the winter weeks is an absolute must. During the day it can act as a barrier - a sort of protective shield - against the cold temperatures. Just because it’s winter, and the sun has seemed to disappear from all sight, don’t forget to ensure your moisturizer has a good SPF: Oil of Olay Complete Care Daily UV Fluid, with an SPF 15, is ideal for virtually all skin types. Olay have even brought out a tinted version, so you can maintain your summer sunkissed look all throughout the festive period. Believe it or not, those pesky, damaging UV rays are still ERXQFLQJ DURXQG DQG SUREDEO\ UHà HFWLQJ RII WKH snow! Applying a good moisturizer at night can also help to ensure that your skin stays nicely hydrated. Even those with oilier skin types can afford to use a slightly thicker cream, though avoid applying too much to the T-zone as this can lead to clogging of the pores. If you’re feeling brave you could even try a facial oil, such as The Sanctuary Radiance Boosting Facial Oil (£13.65, from Boots). These are predominantly aimed at dryer, maturer skins so they really work hard to rehydrate: nine times out of ten the texture of your skin is visibly improved by the morning. If you do get slight patches of dryness (despite moisturizing religiously, obviously), the best way to solve the situation is to exfoliate. A good way to do this is to incorporate it into your daily cleansing routine. Eve Lom, one of London’s top facialists, maintains that cleansing is the most important part of a skincare routine. You don’t tend to condition your hair if it hasn’t been SURSHUO\ VKDPSRRHG ÀUVW ,W LV WKH VDPH IRU VNLQ moisturizing is wonderful, but it cannot work fully if the skin is not suitably prepared. Using any wash off cleanser with a creamy consistency – foaming cleansers tend to be a little too harsh during the winter, even for oily skins – slowly massage your face. Applying gentle pressure, really take time to massage the product in for one or two minutes – it should feel like a minifacial! Once the product has been absorbed, WDNH D PXVOLQ FORWK RU à DQQHO DQG VZLVK LW LQ ZDUP ZDWHU :LWK JHQWOH EXW ÀUP FLUFXODU PRYH-

ments, use the cloth to wipe off the product, and all the make up/dirt that comes with it! Finish by splashing your face with cold water to rinse and taughten the skin. Josephine Fairley and Sarah Stacey, co-authors of the immensely successful ‘The 21st Century Beauty Bible’, maintain that this daily, light exfoliation with a cloth is more than enough to keep the skin bright and soft. Liz Earle’s Cleanse and Polish Hot Cloth Cleanser DURXQG Â… IURP ZZZ OL]HDUOH FR XN D FHUWLĂ€HG cult product within beauty circles, is the perfect product for this. The rich and creamy cleanser leaves the skin perfectly clean but not tight, and the muslin cloth which comes with it has just the right amount of abrasiveness. If, however, you still prefer the satisfaction of a good scrub, there are a number of good exfoliators available. Vitamin E Exfoliator (ÂŁ7.50, from The Body Shop) has a great consistency: the exfoliating particles are small so that they don’t irritate, but they do a lovely job of smoothing the skin. Be wary of exfoliators with large and scratchy grains – these can be too harsh for sensitive skins and end up doing more harm than good. Incidentally, if following cleansing and exfoliating you are used to the step of toning, it might be an idea to give

this a miss during winter. The alcohol in toners strip the skins of oils and can further contribute WR GU\QHVV 8VH D VLPSOH à RUDO ZDWHU LQVWHDG WR freshen the skin, or save time and money and give it a miss altogether. Save the alcohol for those Christmas parties! Once you have the art of cleansing, exfoliating and moisturizing down to perfection, it might be worth focusing a little extra attention of two particularly delicate areas of the face: the eyes and lips. The skin under the eyes and on the lips is some of the thinnest and most fragile on the ERG\ VR ZRXOG EHQHÀW IURP HYHQ WKH VPDOOHVW amount of care. When moisturizing your face, you can simply focus a little extra product on the area under the eyes, and even over the eyeOLGV 7KLV LV QRUPDOO\ VXIÀFLHQW WR NHHS WKH VNLQ supple and healthy, but if you like you can apply D FRROLQJ JHO ZKLFK ZLOO KHOS WR FDOP SXIÀQHVV after late nights! Chapped lips are a common complaint in winter (it is normally at this time of year that we begin to understand why Eskimos kiss with their noses) but this too can be avoided. Wear a good lip balm every time you step out the house (and inside if you like – there is nothing more kissable than cherry chapsticked

PHOTO: MARC PRITCHARD MAKE-UP: LOUISE ORMISTON

lips, as Katy Perry will attest) to protect your lips against the elements. In the cold you can often have the temptation to lick your lips, but try to avoid this as it will inevitably make them drier. If your lips do start to crack, take an old toothbrush and gently slew away the dead skin – this acts as an exfoliator and returns them to their smooth and soft best. Again, apply lip balm WR VKLHOG WKHP IURP IXUWKHU à DNLQHVV 9DVHOLQH is a great and inexpensive option, or if you really want to treat yourself, try Elizabeth Arden’s Eight Hour Cream Lip Protectant Stick (around £15, from Boots). This luxury balm glides on easily and comes in the form of a lipstick, so you don’t even have to remove your hands from your gloves to apply it!

)RU WKH ER\V

I

t is also important for the boys to step up the old skincare routine, or even start one, during the winter period. Whether a splash-ofZDWHU DQG JR NLQG RI JX\ RI D IXOO\ Ă HGJHG PHWrosexual, there are plenty of products around GHVLJQHG VSHFLĂ€FDOO\ IRU PHQ ,QFRUSRUDWLQJ MXVW a couple of these into your standard hygiene routine will soon have you rivalling your girlfriend in the skin-softness stakes. 0HQ FDQ RIWHQ Ă€QG WKDW VKDYLQJ IHHOV KDUVKHU on the skin during winter. Scraping the very top layer of skin on a regular basis can of course lead to sensitivity, and this is heightened by the cold. Rough stubble may be sexy, but rough, crusty skin is not. Just as a creamy cleanser is preferable, it might be an idea to switch to a shaving cream instead of a foam or gel. These hydrate and soothe the skin, and can actually give a closer shave as they also work to soften the hair shaft. The Body Shop has recently brought out the ‘Maca Root’ range – a variety of products aimed exclusively at men. If promLVHV RI Ă€UPHU DQG FOHDUHU VNLQ DUHQŇ‹W HQRXJK WR tempt, legend has it that the Peruvian maca root enhances both libido and stamina during sex. 'HĂ€QLWHO\ D UHDVRQ WR VODWKHU LW RQ 7KH 0DFD Root Shave Cream (ÂŁ8) is especially good: it is enriched with nut oil to help the razor to glide more easily, and aloe vera to calm the skin after WKH IULFWLRQ RI VKDYLQJ 0HQ PD\ DOVR Ă€QG WKDW pre-exfoliation can lead to a closer shave. You should still we wary of exfoliators which are too scratchy, but in general, you can afford to use ones which are a little coarser. St Ives Apricot Scrub (ÂŁ4.29, from Superdrug) is a good, and passably manly one to start with. This old favourite will also help keep sandpapery skin at bay. No skincare routine is complete without a moisturizer, and it is no different for men. Living in an age where every chisel-jawed actor seems to be endorsing some highly beautifying yet awfully masculine product, there are plenty to choose from. The Nivea for Men range is long-standing and simple but effective - just make sure you choose a face cream with an SPF. Massage it in every morning, and with protected and perfectly plump skin, you’re free to get on with the day’s manly activities.

2 C X >

Got a Features idea? 0191 3341786

Tuesday 9 December 2008 palatinate.org.uk

INDIGO 7

9<8LKP

SEASONAL SPARKLE!

BELOW: Eyeko Cream, ÂŁ5. This moisturiser, highlighter and primer all-in-one gives your skin a delicious pearly glow, whilst being light and hydrating. LEFT: Viktor and Rolf Flower %RPE Â… 6ZHHW Ă RUDO layers, accented by Jasmine, Freesia and Orchids. Subtle, chic and timeless.

As the Christmas season descends, Palatinate’s resident makeup artist, Katie Service, opens up her bag of tricks to reveal the secrets behind fabulous festive looks. Photograph by Marc Pritchard, Styling by Dipal Acharya

ABOVE: GOSH Extreme Art Eyeliner in 6, DQG Â… 8SGDWH \RXU VL[WLHV Ă LFN ZLWK these colourful, fast-sticking liners. BOTTOM: Narcisso Rodriguez For Her Eau de toilette, ÂŁ39. Although an all year URXQG Ă RUDO VFHQW )RU +HU LV OLW XS E\ the sophisticated and seasonal smells of orange blossom and vanilla. ABOVE RIGHT: Eyeko Sexy Eyes, ÂŁ5. A warming palette that suits any skin tone from a highly affordable new brand. RIGHT: GOSH Precious Powder Peals: Golden Drops, ÂŁ7.50. For a natural looking bronze with a touch of seasonal sparkle.

Stockists: Superdrug - 18 High Street, Durham, DH1 3UJ. 0191 3750526 House of Fraser - Metrocentre, Gateshead, Newcastle, NE11 9YG 0191 493 2424

LEFT: GOSH Powder and Eyeshadow Brushes, £10 and £7 . Soft and rounded, making it easy to create that smooth pearly effect with your powder. ABOVE: MAC Eye Pigment in Teal, £14.68 (MAC online). Pigment is a highly concentrated loose colour powder, which can be used in a subtle wash or more intensely for a vibrant glow. This colour looks incredible with a bronze liner. ABOVE LEFT: MAC Strobe Liquid Lotion, £19.09 (MAC online). Hydrating and luminescent, I use this quickÀ [ ORWLRQ LQ DOO P\ VKRRWV ,WҋV full of vitamins and lightUHà HFWLQJ SDUWLFOHV ZKLFK instantly brighten up dull winter skin. ABOVE CENTRE: GOSH Effect Powder in Pinkie, Meringue and Plummy, £5. These highly resonant metallic powders can be dusted over lids, cheeks or even neck and shoulders for a sparkling effect.

8

INDIGO

LISTINGS listings@palatinate.org.uk

Tuesday 9 December 2008 palatinate.org.uk

C@JK@E>J 9p 8c`jfe Dflc[j

PURPL

YOUR POSTER-SIZED EVENT GUI

Highlights this fortnight

Art

Sun. 14 December

Until Sat. 13 December

Pendulum

Lydia LeBrun Exhibition Amateur artist LeBrun exhibits a range of paintings inspired by the works of Georgia O’Keefe and Edgar Degas. Botanical Gardens, 10.45AM 5.45PM. Free

I

n the wake of their hotlyanticipated DJ set spectacular at this year’s otherwisedisappointing Freshers’ Ball, student favourites Pendulum are setting the North East music scene ablaze once more with an unmissable gig at the Carling Academy. Following a slew of appearances across UK universities, the Australian sestet are now offering their inimicable music to the masses. If second album ‘In Silico’ is anything to go by, expect a liberal helping of rock and electronica to supplement their original drum Carling Academy, Newcastle, 7PM. ÂŁ17.13

Thu. 11 December

A Touch of Red

B

low whatever’s left of the ever-dwindling student budget on tickets for the DSU’s charity ball. Delight in exchanging the obligatory end-ofterm college gruel for a slap-up 3 course dinner befpore blowing out the academic cobwebs at Klute for the all-important after party. Highlights of the night include a photo gallery, as well as live Samba music and a postdinner big band performance. All proceeds from the night to PEPAIDs and Sport in Action. DSU, 7.30PM. £25

Sun. 14 December

and

bass.

Make It a Countryside Christmas Up your eco credentials with the Countryside Rangers by fashioning your own festive decorations from sustainable materials. County Hall grounds, 11AM 3PM. Free Watercolours of Durham City Exhibition of watercolours by local painter Nigel NobleNesbitt including the obligatory (though stunning) depictions of the various bridges, castles and cathedrals scattered across our beautiful honourary hometown. Palace Green Library, 9AM 5PM. Free

Until Sun. 21 December

Bridal Kimono Stunning picture exhbition by textile artist Norma Goff created using a genuine Japanese wedding uchikake Kimono overcoat. Sure to be fascinating to fans of Japanese culture. Oriental Museum, 10AM - 5PM. Free

Until Sun. 4 January

Yoko Ono

Unpopular Culture Infamous Turner Prize-winning artist Grayson Perry selects pieces from “before British art became fashionableâ€?, with works ranging from bronze scultpture to documentary photography. DLI Museum and Art Gallery, 10AM - 4PM. ÂŁ2.15

M

BALTIC Centre for Contemporary Art, Gateshead, 5PM. ÂŁ6

Wed. 10 December

10 Things I Hate About You Remind yourself of the late Heath Ledger’s pre-Brokeback Mountain days with the Hild Bede Film Soc’s screening of this FODVVLF WHHQ Ă€ LFN D KLODULRXV DQG deliciously trashy re-imagining of Shakespeare’s ‘The Taming of the Shrew’. Hild Bede, 8PM. ÂŁ2

Until January 2009

Treasures from the Attic Gives an account of the history of the Old Fulling Mill in which the museum is housed. A rare opportunity to see the collection. Museum of Archaeology, 11AM-4PM. Free

Music Tue. 9 December

NME Rock n Roll Riot Tour Glasgow rockers Primal Scream headline NME’s annual anarchic tour across the country, rolling up in Newcastle just in time for end of term celebrations. Carling Academy, Newcastle, 7.30PM. £22.02

Thu. 11 December

Slipknot Stressed by summatives? Thrash out your work-based woes with a bit of metal at the Metro Radio Arena. With special guests Machine Head and Children of Bodom. Metro Radio Arena, Newcastle, 7pm. ÂŁ29.50

Until Mon. 22 December

Thu. 11 December ore famous for her relationship with John Lennon than her artwork, the notorious Yoko Ono has nevertheless gained recognition as an artist in her own right. Having explored the avant garde, as well as conceptual DUW DQG H[SHULPHQWDO ¿ OPPDNLQJ Ono will dicuss her artistic works. An unmissable highlight of the North’s contemporary art scene, PDUNLQJ WKH RSHQLQJ RI WZR À RRUV of her pioneering work at the BALTIC.

Film

Fri. 12 December

Thu. 11 December

I’m Going Home Head to Newcastle to celebrate the centenary of Portugese ¿ OPPDNHU 0DQRHO GH 2OLYHLUDœV birth with the screening of this European classic. The showing includes a talk from special guest Leonor Baldaque, who will discuss working with Oliveira. Tyneside Cinema, 6PM. £5.75

Until Thu. 11 December

Madagascar Escape 2 Africa Rediscover your inner child just in time for the festive period with the sequel to DreamWorks’ popular animated adventure. Gala Cinema, various times. £3.50

Until Thu. 11 December

Four Christmases Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon head up the obligatory Christmas cheesefest in this seasonal romcom. When their plans to escape for an exotic holiday are thwarted, WKH FRXSOH Âż QG WKHPVHOYHV immersed in the dreaded family functions they tried to avoid. Gala Cinema, various times, ÂŁ3.50

Stereophonics The Welsh wonders hit the North East music scene for their UK greatest hits tour, joined by Manchester indie quartet The Courteeners. Metro Radio Arena, Newcastle, 7.30PM. ÂŁ29.50

Fri. 12 December

Joan as Policewoman The indie singer-songwriter from Conneticut follows the summer release of her second album ‘To Survive’ with a UK tour. The Sage Gateshead, 8PM. ÂŁ12.50

Sun. 14 December

Pendulum If the DJ set at this year’s Freshers’ Ball failed to satisfy your electronic drum and bass cravings, then head to Newcastle to catch the Australian group in all their frenetically-charged glory. See ‘Highlights this fortnight’. Carling Academy, Newcastle, 7PM. ÂŁ17.13

Tue. 16 December

Hot Chip DJ Set Subotica continue to revolutionise the dinky Durham music scene by bringing a touch of British electropop to the Walkergate Complex. Not to be missed! Loveshack, 10PM. ÂŁ7 adv.

LISTINGS listings@palatinate.org.uk

Tuesday 9 December 2008 palatinate.org.uk

INDIGO

9

C@JK@E>J

LE DIARY

IDE FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS Nightlife Thu. 11 December

A Touch of Red: World AIDs Day Charity Ball Splash out on tickets for the DSU’s highly anticipated charity ball and you’ll be treated to a 3 course meal and half-bottle of wine. Cost includes entertainment and the after-party. See ‘Highlights this fortnight’. Fonteyn Ballroom, DSU, 7.30PM. £25

Thu. 11 December

Festive Fling 2008 In the wake of their Hallowe’en shindig, Banished Events present Christmas-themed celebrations in the aid of Cancer Research UK. All day at Lloyds Bar, with free entry to Loveshack after 10pm. Lloyds Bar and Loveshack, 8PM. £5

Thu. 11 December

Deviate vs Inertia Xmas Party Head to Newcastle’s best hidden secret for a night of electro, drum & bass and dubstep. This independent club operates on ZRUG RI PRXWK EXW LV VXUH WR ¿ OO up quick! World Headquarters, Newcastle, 10PM. £5

Fri. 12 December

Disco Noir House and techno music courtesy of remix duo the Wighnomy Brothers. Cosmic Ballroom, Newcastle, 10.30PM. £12.

Mon. 15 December

Digital Love Durham’s biggest and best clubnight is back for another no-holds-barred house, trance and drum ‘n’ bass love-in. Don’t be fooled by the uninspiring venue - you will be blown away. Walkabout, 10PM. £3.

Mon. 15 December

Absence Braver students who are prepared to deviate from Durham’s club night straitjacket should head to the Vaults, for a drum and bass end-of-term party. Market Vaults, 10PM. Free before 11PM, then £2.

Sport Sat. 13 December

Durham City AFC: Rossendale vs Durham City Pledge your allegiance to your academic homeland and get down to the Arnott Stadium to support the city boys in their match against Rossendale. Arnott Stadium, 3PM. £6

Sun. 14 December

Newcastle Vipers vs Coventry Blaze Not a football fan? Get your DOWHUQDWLYH VSRUWV ¿ [ VHHLQJ LFH hockey players thrash it out in the Metro Arena. Our Northern favourites play Coventry. Metro Radio Arena, 5.30PM. £9

Stage Wed. 10 December

Beauty and the Beast Family-friendly theatricals hit the town hall stage for one day only. Join the locals for some seasonal laughs. Bishop Auckland Town Hall, 10am, 1.30pm and 7PM. £5

Talk Tue. 9 December

Bill Bryson Lecture Series Billed as the ‘Indiana Jones of Earth Sciences’, Dougal Jerram is a globe-trotting adventurer who investigates volcanoes, mountains and more. Ebsworth Building, Queen’s Campus, 5.30PM. Free

Wed. 10 - Thu. 12 December

The Notcracker Fancy something a little different? This comedy/dance/ theatre reworking of the Nutcracker is a hidden gem in the Newcastle drama scene. Newcastle Theatre Royal, various times. From £6.50

Sat. 20 December

Durham City AFC: Durham City vs Warrington Wrap up tight and brave the plummeting temperatures to see Durham take on the Yellows in a highlight of the North’s Unibond League First Division. Arnott Stadium, 3PM. £6.

Murder Mystery Formal All wannabe Poirots should head to the Archaeology Society’s end of term party. Hit the charity shops in advance to kit yourself out for the 1930s Egyptian theme. Price includes snacks and wine. Castle MCR, 9PM. £10 Darlington Winter Wonderland If Durham’s family-friendly festive weekend has failed to quell your yearnings for a traditional Christmas, then check out Darlington’s 19th century-themed Market Square - complete with log cabins and fairgound rides. Darlington Market Place, 10AM. Free

Sat. 13 December Thu.11 December

Iain Duncan Smith The Former Leader of the Opposition pays a visit to the Union to discuss the revival of the Conservative Party and his founding of the CSJ. Debating Chamber, 8.30PM

Fri. 19 December

Newcastle Eagles vs Plymouth Raiders Still up North when term ends? Basketball fans should watch the local lads take on Plymouth. Metro Radio Arena, Newcastle, time: tbc, £8.

Wed. 10 December

Thu. 11 - Mon 15 December

Sun. 14 December

Whitworth Park Walk Embrace the wonderful wintry weather of Durham for a 4 hour, 8 mile walk led by Countryside Ranger David Spence. Whitworth Park, 10AM

Other

Until Fri. 12 December

Funny Bones Comedy Club The monthly comedy show case returns to the Gala Studio, with MC Chris Ramsey introducing comics David Ward, Jojo Sutherland and Martin MacAllistair. Gala Theatre, 7.45PM. £8

Until Sat. 3 January

Aladdin For festive fun closer to home, this year’s Gala pantomime is sure not to disappoit. Tickets for their production of Aladdin are already starting to sell out! Gala Theatre, various times. From £10.50

Until Sat. 17 January

Robinson Crusoe and the Caribbean Pirates Escape the Durham bubble for an evening at the Theatre Royal where former Corrie star Phil Corbitt stars in their annual panto extravaganza. Newcastle Theatre Royal, various times, from £6.50

Fri. 12 December

Farewell Debate The Union’s last debate of the term is a must for members! Watch as the two sides clash over the proposition that women make better leaders than men. Debating Chamber, 8.30PM

Sat. 13 December

Ghosts on the Somme Alistair Fraser presents the results of innovative research LQWR WKH PRVW IDPRXV ¿ OP produced in the Second World War. DLI Museum and Art Gallery, 2PM. £3.25

Sat. 13 December

Yoko Ono: Between the Sky and My Head The infamous Japanese artistmusician opens her new exhibition in Gateshead with an unmissable talk. See ‘Highlights this fortnight’. BALTIC Centre for Contemporary Art, Gateshead, 5PM. £6

RSPCA Christmas Fair Those undaunted by the prospect of yet another seasonal event should check out North Road’s Methodist Church for a charitable Christmas fair. North Road Methodist Church, 10AM. Free

Sun. 14 December

Burlesque Performance Workshop The more courageous students shouldn’t miss out on this treat of a tutorial up in Newcastle. Worth the cost for the opportunity to learn the increasingly popular art! Dance City, Temple Street, Newcastle, 11AM. £22.50

Sun. 14 December

Traditional Christmas at Crook Hall Durham’s historical hotspot joins in the festive fun with old-fashioned Christmas celebrations, complete with Santa Claus. Crook Hall, 1PM, £8

Tue. 16 December

Civic Carol Service Join the Mayor of Durham and the local population for some civic festivities in a last-ditch term-time attempt to get into the Christmas spirit! St Nicholas Church, 6.15PM. Free

10 INDIGO

MUSIC music@palatinate.org.uk

Tuesday 9 December 2008 palatinate.org.uk

DLJ@:

Taking a trip with MGMT Seb Payne gets a last-minute interview with MGMT before they play Leeds on their latest UK tour WRR PXFK RU H[SDQG RQ RXU TXHVWLRQV 0D\EH RXU FUHGHQWLDOV PLJKW KDYH EHHQ VXVSHFW KHQFH ZK\ WKH\ ZHUH TXLWH JXDUGHG ZLWK WKHLU DQVZHUV DOWKRXJK WKHUH ZHUH D IHZ LQWHUHVWLQJ IDFWV \RX PD\ not know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he Piper At The Gates of Dawn to EH D YHU\ LQÁ XHQWLDO DOEXP RQ WKHLU PXVLF DV ZHOO DV Kraftwerk QRW WRR VXUSULVLQJ >>>7KH\ OHW QR KLQWV GURS DERXW WKHLU IX WXUH PXVLFDO GLUHFWLRQ EXW GLG UHYHDO WKDW WKH À UVW KDOI RI WKHLU GHEXW DOEXP ZDV ZULW WHQ EHIRUH WKH EDQG ZHUH VLJQHG DQG WKH UHVW ZDV ZULWWHQ ODWHU ZLWK PRVW RI WKH KLW VLQJOHV RQ WKH ODWWHU KDOI >>>%HQ ZDV WKH TXLHW RQH ZKLOH $QGUHZ PRVWO\ SLFNHG XS WKH DQVZHUV DQG GLV FRQFHUWLQJO\ VWDUHG DW P\ RSHQ GLDU\ >>>$IWHU TXHVWLRQLQJ DERXW YLQWDJH FORWK LQJ VKRSV LQ /HHGV RI ZKLFK , KDG QR LGHD DQG PXPEOLQJ VRPH UHVSRQVH DERXW WXUQLQJ ULJKW ZH OHIW WKH EDQG LQ VHDUFK RI food. >>>$IWHU VRPH H[SORUDWLRQ RI /HHGV ZKLFK LV D YHU\ QLFH SODFH LQGHHG LW ZDV JLJ WLPH 7KH PL[ RI ҊLQGLH NLGVҋ ZDV KLJK LQ DWWHQGDQFH DQG IHZ XQLYHUVLW\ VWXGHQWV OLNH P\VHOI FRXOG EH VHHQ >>>&RPLQJ RQ VWDJH WR WKH VRXQG RI Funk #49 WKH HYHQLQJ NLFNHG RII ZLWK DQ XQNQRZQ QHZ VRQJ WKDW QR RQH ZDV VXUH DERXW 7KH IUHQ]\ FDXVHG E\ WKH DUULYDO RI WKH EDQG FRQWLQXHG EXW E\ WKH HQG QR RQH ZDV UHDOO\ VXUH ZKDW ZDV KDSSHQLQJ 7KDQNIXOO\ Weekend Wars came along, VRXQGLQJ PRUH OLYHO\ DQG MXVW DV LPSUHV

MGMT &DUOLQJ $FDGHP\ /HHGV

A

USUAL TUESDAY afternoon in early November - raining, dark and cold DQG , À QG P\VHOI VLWWLQJ LQ D ERRWK LQ WKH LQIDPRXV 7HFKQR &DIH DW WKH 6FL ence Site. 1RW IRU WKH À UVW WLPH WKDW GD\ P\ PRELOH UDQJ DQG LQVWHDG RI WKH XVXDO 3XUSOH 5D GLR FDOO LW ZDV D IHOORZ IURP 6RQ\ %0* UHFRUGV UHJDUGLQJ DQ HPDLO VHQW VHYHUDO ZHHNV DJR >>> KRXUV ODWHU , ZDV ]LSSLQJ GRZQ WKH $ WR /HHGV WR PHHW LQWHUYLHZ DQG VHH RQH RI WKH PRVW FULWLFDOO\ DFFODLPHG EDQGV RI KLWWLQJ WKH &DUOLQJ $FDGHP\ 2Q WKHLU ODWHVW MDXQW DURXQG WKH 8. 0*07 PDQDJHG WR PLVV RXW 1HZFDVWOH DQG 'XUKDP RI FRXUVH RQ WKHLU À QDO WRXU EHIRUH VRPH UHOD[LQJ WLPH DQG UH HQWHULQJ WKH VWXGLR >>>$IWHU KDQJLQJ DURXQG RXWVLGH WKH QHZO\ UHEXLOW $FDGHP\ ZH ZHUH JUDQWHG HQWUDQFH DQG PDGH RXU ZD\ XS WR D GH VHUWHG GUHVVLQJ URRP ZDLWLQJ IRU WKH EDQG to enter. >>>$ VXGGHQ SDQLF KLW PH DQG P\ IULHQG ZKR KDG WDJJHG DORQJ ZRXOG WKH\ WKLQN ZH ZHUH LGLRWV" :HUH ZH FRRO HQRXJK" 6KRXOG , KDYH SDVVHG RQ WKH Ҋ9RWH %HUWҋ 7 6KLUW" 7KHVH IHHOLQJV SDVVHG ZKHQ DQ DVVHU WLYH EXW IULHQGO\ $PHULFDQ HQWHUHG DQG LQWURGXFHG KLPVHOI DV PDQDJHU DQG ZDV Á DQNHG E\ WZR PHQ EDUHO\ ROGHU WKDQ P\ VHOI WKDW ZHUH LQVWDQWO\ UHFRJQLVDEOH DV $QGUHZ 9DQ :\QJDUGHQ DQG %HQ *ROG ZDVVHU WKH VRQJZULWHUV DQG IRXQGLQJ PHPEHUV RI WKH EDQG 8QXVXDOO\ $QGUHZ ZDV QRW VSRUWLQJ KLV W\SLFDO DUUD\ RI EDQGDQDV DQG SV\FKHGHOLF FORWKLQJ MXVW WLJKW À WWLQJ MHDQV GXIÁ H FRDW DQG \RXU W\SLFDO SROR VKLUW %HQ ZHQW IRU D PRUH LQGLH ORRN ZLWK D FKHFNHUHG VKLUW %RWK ZHUH VPLOLQJ DQG ZHUH ZHOFRPLQJ DQG WKH FKDW EHJDQ :LWKLQ D IHZ PLQXWHV LW ZDV D VOLJKW PLV QRPHU WKH EDQG GLGQҋW VHHP WR RSHQ XS

+,6 +$6 %((1 D IDQWDVWLF \HDU LQ PXVLF SOHQW\ RI VWURQJ DOEXPV IURP DOO ZDONV RI PXVLF DQG WR VXLW DOO WDVWHV <RX PLJKW QRW À QG /HRQD /HZLVҋV RIIHULQJ RU .DQ\HҋV ODWHVW UHOHDVH PHQ WLRQHG EXW WKHVH DUH P\ SHUVRQDO KLJK OLJKWV IURP WKLV \HDU WKDW VKRXOG EH DGGHG WR DQ\ PXVLF ORYHUV VKRSSLQJ OLVW

T

Coldplay Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends

R.E.M Accelerate >>>(YHU\ 5 ( 0 UHOHDVH WKDW FRPHV RXW LV FODLPHG DV D UHWXUQ WR IRUP EXW Accelerate PLJKW KDYH WXUQHG WKH EDQGҋV IRUWXQHV DURXQG $IWHU ORRVLQJ IRXQGLQJ GUXPPHU %LOO %HUU\ LQ WKH EDQG KDYHQҋW SUR GXFHG DQ\WKLQJ DV KDUG URFNLQJ RU FRP SUHVVHG LQ \HDUV 5HFRUGHG LQ RQO\ D IHZ PRQWKV \RX ZRQҋW À QG DQ\WKLQJ OLNH Loosing My Religion KHUH EXW VRQJV VXFK DV Supernatural Superserious, Sing For The Submarine DQG WKH WLWOH WUDFN PDNH XS IRU WKLV ZLWK IDVW SDFHG RYHUGULYHQ ULIIV WKDW UH PLQG XV 5 ( 0 DUH VWLOO DV LPSRUWDQW DQG LQGHSHQGHQW DV HYHU

Last Shadow Puppets The Age of the Understatement >>>)XOO RI HGJ\ LQGLH URFN PXVLF ZLWK V\PSKRQLF WZLVW WKH FRPELQDWLRQ RI 0LOHV .DQH RI 7KH 5DVFDOV DQG $OH[ 7XUQHU RI WKH $UFWLF 0RQNH\V KDV SURGXFHG RQH RI WKH PRVW SRSXODU DOEXPV RI WKH \HDU /RWV RI LQÁ XHQFHV IURP ERWK EDQGV DQG QXPHU RXV -DPHV %RQG VRXQGWUDFNV PDNH WKLV D \RXWKIXO \HW NLOOHU DOEXP ULJKW IRU DQ\ PRRG RI WKH GD\ +LJKOLJKWV LQFOXGH WKH WL tle track, Calm Like You and In My Room.

“Unfortunately a few performances did let the show down” DQG FKLPLQJ JXLWDUV VLJQDOOHG Time To Pretend VXUSULVLQJO\ HDUO\ LQ WKH VHW ,W EOHZ HYHU\RQH DZD\ MXVW IDQWDVWLF DQG KDV WR EH D OLYH KLJKOLJKW RI WKH \HDU >>>7KH EDQG MXVW FDPH WRJHWKHU WKH FKHHV\ V\QWK OLYH WKH EUHDNGRZQ DQG EXLOG XS DQG WKH O\ULFV ZH NQRZ DQG ORYH $V XVXDO IRU D SDFNHG JLJ FRSLRXV DPRXQWV RI EHHU ZHUH SRXUHG RYHU P\ KHDG UHDVVXULQJ PH WKDW WKH 7 6KLUW ZDV D JRRG LGHD 7KH DXGLHQFH KDG WLPH WR UH OD[ XQWLO Electric Feel FDPH OLWHUDOO\ RXW RI QRZKHUH LW VHHPHG WKH EDQG KDG JLYHQ XS RQ WKHLU VRQJ DQG MXVW EDVKHG LQWR WKLV WR FKHHU XV DOO XS >>>0DWFKLQJ WKH SUHYLRXV VLQJOH WKH FURZG ZHQW ZLOG DQG WKH EDQG REYLRXVO\ HQMR\HG WKH VWLPXODWLRQ RI WKH DXGLHQFH EXW LW ZHQW GRZQKLOO RQFH DJDLQ Pieces, Of What ZDV WKURZQ LQ VRPHZKHUH GRZQ WKH OLQH WR SURYLGH WKH XVXDO DFRXVWLF GL YHUVLRQ >>>(YHQWXDOO\ WKH EDQG ZHQW RII VWDJH DQG FKHHULQJ IRU WKH HQFRUH HQVXHG EXW ZDV WKLV IRU WKH EDQG RU VLPSO\ WR KHDU HYHU\RQHҋV IDYRXULWH VRQJ"

Oasis Dig Out Your Soul

Look back: 2008 in music

/LVW E\ Seb Payne

VLYH DV RQ WKH DOEXP DQG NLFNHG HYHU\RQH LQWR VKDSH >>>The Youth PDQDJHG WR JHW D VZD\LQJ DXGLHQFH WR VLQJ DORQJ WR ´DQG \RX VWDUW HG WR FKDQJHµ DQG OLQHG HYHU\RQH XS IRU D JUHDW JLJ +RZHYHU WKLQJV VWDUWHG WR JR GRZQKLOO IURP KHUH DV WKH EDQG ODXQFKHG LQWR VRQJ DIWHU VRQJ RI JHQHULF SV\FKHGHO LF SURJUHVVLYH KDUG URFN HDFK VRQJ ZDV DOPRVW XQUHFRJQLVDEOH IURP WKH ODVW DQG WKH MXPSLQJ DQG VFUHDPLQJ VXEVLGHG XQWLO SHRSOH ORRNHG DOPRVW ERUHG DQG RQO\ SR OLWH DSSODXVH >>>7KLV DOO FKDQJHG ZKHQ JHQWOH KXP

>>>7DON RI &ROGSOD\ ORRVLQJ WKHLU HGJH ZDV FRPSOHWHO\ XQIRXQGHG 7DNLQJ D QHZ HGJH ZLWK D PRUH H[SHULPHQWDO QDWXUH EXW ZLWK WKH SRS VRXQG \RX NQRZ DQG ORYH IURP WKHLU SUHYLRXV ZRUN >>>7KH LQSXW RI VXSHU SURGXFHU %UDLQ (QR PDQDJHG WR OHW WKH JX\V H[SDQG WKHLU VRQLF PDS +LJKOLJKWV LQFOXGH WKH DQWKHPLF Viva La Vida WKH WKXPS\ PRYHPHQWV RI Violet Hill DQG WKH IRRW VWRPSLQJ Lost!. >>>$OWKRXJK &KULV 0DUWLQ VD\V &ROGSOD\ ZLOO GLVEDQG LQ WKH QHDU IXWXUH \RX KDYHQҋW VHHQ WKH ODVW RI WKHP MXVW \HW ZLWK WKH UHFHQWO\ UHOHDVHG Prospekt March and D URXQG RI VWDGLXP JLJV FRPLQJ XS QH[W 6HSWHPEHU

>>>,W KDV EHHQ VHYHUDO ZHHNV DQG PRUH OLVWHQLQJ WLPH IURP P\ LQLWLDO UHYLHZ DQG P\ RSLQLRQ KDV QRW FKDQJHG LQ WKH VOLJKW HVW WKLV LV WKHLU VWURQJHVW RIIHULQJ LQ \HDUV DQG WKH V KDUG URFN LQÁ XHQFHV KDYH ZRUNHG DQG WKH WUDQVODWLRQ WR OLYH SHUIRUP DQFHV KDV EHHQ PDGH VXFFHVVIXOO\ DF FRUGLQJ WR <RX7XEH DW OHDVW 7DNH D ORRN DW WKH FXUUHQW VLQJOH ,ҋP 2XWWD 7LPH and %DJ ,W 8S WR JHW D WDVWH RI ZKHUH *DOODJKHU DQG FRPSDQ\ DUH KHDGHG ZLWK WKH ODWHVW UHDVRQ

>>>After The Handshake WKH GLVWLQFWLYH GUXP EHDW RI Kids began and it went mad. &UXVKLQJ ERXQFLQJ GDQFLQJ DQG PRUH EHHU WKURZLQJ PDGH WKLV WKH KLJKOLJKW RI WKH VHW EXW IRU VRPH LQH[SOLFDEOH UHDVRQ WKHUH ZHUH QR LQVWUXPHQWV SOD\HG PLQXV RQH JXLWDU VROR >>>7KHLU GUXPPHU VDW ORRNLQJ LPSDWLHQW EXW GLGQҋW SOD\ DQ\WKLQJ %HQ OHIW KLV NH\ ERDUG VWDWLRQ WR VLQJ ZLWK $QGUHZ 7KHLU EDVVLVW ZDV QRZKHUH WR EH VHHQ ,URQLF WKDW WKH EHVW VRQJ RI WKH JLJ ZDV QRW HYHQ SOD\HG ZLWK LQVWUXPHQWV" )RU WKH DXGL HQFH WKH\ GLGQҋW PLQG EHFDXVH LW ZDV ZKDW PRVW KDG FRPH WR KHDU :K\ SD\ WR OLVWHQ WR D UHFRUGLQJ WKDW \RX FDQ KHDU LQ PRVW FOXEV XS DQG GRZQ WKH FRXQWU\ HYHU\ week. >>>7KLV PD\ DOO VRXQG UDWKHU QHJDWLYH LW ZDVQҋW D EDG JLJ WKH DWPRVSKHUH ZDV HOHFWULF 2Q WKH ZD\ RXW WKH EDQWHU ZDV ´IDQWDVWLF WKDW ZDV UDYLQJµ EXW ,ҋG KDYH WR VD\ WKDW 0*07 DUH D VLQJOHV EDQG 7KH\ GLGQҋW PDQDJH WR EULQJ DOLYH WKHLU RWKHU VRQJV DQG XQXVXDOO\ IRU D EDQG ZLWK RQH DOEXP WKH\ GLGQҋW WKURZ D FRYHU LQ >>>%RWK 7KH )HHOLQJ DQG 7KH /DVW 6KDG RZ 3XSSHWV KDYH GRQH WKLV LQ WKHLU VKRZV DQG LW KHOSV WR VKRZFDVH WKHLU PXVLFDO SURZHVV ZKLFK OHDGV PH RQ WR DQRWKHU SRLQW WKHLU VRXQG >>>0\ IULHQG FRPPHQWHG WKDW WKH ҊVRXQGҋ LV YHU\ LPSRUWDQW WR HQMR\LQJ WKHLU PXVLF DQG WKLV VWUXFN PH DV WKH PDLQ SUREOHP ZLWK WKH QLJKWҋV HQWHUWDLQPHQW 7KH DGGL WLRQDO PHPEHUV RI WKH EDQG DUH VLPSO\ WRR KHDY\ ZLWK RYHUGULYHQ VRXQGV WKDW GRQҋW VXLW WKH VRQJV RQ Oracular Spectacular. >>>+DUG URFN FHUWDLQO\ LVQҋW ZKDW 0*07 LV DERXW WKHLU QH[W DOEXP PD\ H[SDQG LQ WKLV GLUHFWLRQ WR D QHZ DXGLHQFH EXW LW ZDV QRW ZKDW , H[SHFWHG ,I \RX DUH WKLQNLQJ DERXW PDNLQJ D WULS WR VHH WKHP ZDLW WLOO WKH\ JDWKHU PRUH VRQJV DQG PRUH H[SHUL HQFH EHIRUH VKHOOLQJ RXW WKH FDVK >>>0*07 PD\ VWLOO SURYH WR EH RQH RI WKH ELJJHVW EDQGV RI WKH GHFDGH RU PLJKW IDGH DZD\ ZLWK D SRRU VRSKRPRUH DOEXP DQG PHGLRFUH OLYH VKRZV 2QO\ WLPH ZLOO WHOO DQG KRSHIXOO\ WKH\ ZLOO SURYH XV ZURQJ DQG QRW EH IDWHG WR SUHWHQG

This KDV WUDFHV RI 8 EXW ZLWK D OHVV FRP PHUFLDO VRXQG DQG VLPSO\ GRZQ WR HDUWK (OERZ DUH KHDGLQJ RXW WR WKH DFDGHPLHV QH[W \HDU VR FDWFK WKHP OLYH LI \RX FDQ WKH UXPRXU JRHV WKH\ DUH SKHQRPHQDO

Elbow The Seldom Seen Kid >>>5LYDOOLQJ &ROGSOD\ ZLWK VHYHUDO VWDGL XP JLJV LQ LW LV JRRG WR KDYH %ULWDLQҋV IDYRXULWH %ULWSRS EDQG EDFN LQ DFWLRQ >>>7KH PRUH , OLVWHQ WR (OERZҋV EDFN FDW DORJXH , ZRQGHU ZK\ WKH\ KDYH QRW EHHQ KHDUG RI EHIRUH QRZ 7KHLU PXVLF LV VR XQLTXH DQG WKH\ҋYH EHHQ NLFNLQJ DURXQG VLQFH DSSDUHQWO\ PLVVLQJ RXW RQ %ULWSRS EHFRPLQJ FULWLFV FKRLFH EHIRUH KLWWLQJ LW ELJ WLPH DQG ZLQQLQJ WKH 0HU FXU\ 3UL]H WKLV \HDU Grounds For Divorce KDV EHFRPH WKH PRVW SRSXODU VRQJ ZLWK FRQWLQXDO EXLOG XSV DQG EUHDN GRZQV ZLWK \HW DQRWKHU VWRPSLQJ EHDW On Day Like

AC/DC Black Ice >>>$& '& DUH OLNH FRPIRUW IRRG IRU OLVWHQ HUV SURYLGLQJ UHDVVXULQJ DQG FRQVLVWHQW KDUG URFN DQG Black Ice LV QR GLIIHUHQW 6WRPSLQJ URFN ZLWK D PRGHUQ SURGXFWLRQ PDNHV WKLV DQ DOEXP RI EOLVV IRU DQ\ PX VLF ORYHU %ULDQ -RKQVRQҋV VLQJLQJ PD\ QRW EH DV KLJK SLWFKHG DV LQ WKH SDVW EXW LWҋV ORVW QRQH RI LWV SDVVLRQ DQG $QJXV <RXQJ EULQJV RXW WKRVH VRORV DV YLFLRXVO\ DV HYHU $ VKRUW WRXU RI 8. DUHQDV QH[W \HDU KDV VROG RXW WRR TXLFNO\ IRU WKLV UHYLHZHU

2 C X >

Tuesday 9 December 2008 palatinate.org.uk

MUSIC music@palatinate.org.uk

INDIGO

11

DLJ@:

Just goes to show Phil Boyle GLVFRYHUV 7KH 6KRUWZDYH 6HW DQG ÂżQGV WKDW TXDOLW\ DQG SRSXODULW\ GRQÂśW DOZD\V RYHUODS )DFWÂżOH The Shortwave Set

The Shortwave Set The Cluny, Newcastle Â?Â?Â?Â?Â?

T

he night starts with an impressive performance from local trio Dot to Dots. Proving that British folk-pop isn’t limited to the gratuitously annual Mercury prize nod; one wouldn’t be hugely surprised if Rachel Unthank (spot the contradiction) inspired this band to quickly JDLQ D KLJKHU SURÀOH Admired by such luminaries as Goldfrapp, Moby and John Cale, and boasting an eccentrically poppy sound, one would expect The Shortwave Set to have attracted a degree of popular success in the ODVW ÀYH \HDUV 'LVDSSRLQWLQJO\ KRZHYHU tonight’s crowd is threadbare. In spite of such public apathy, the London/Scandinavian three-piece are in imperious form. They open, as does their most recent album, with Harmonia. Frontman Andrew Pettit’s unsettling guitar sounds are perfectly complimented by Ulrika Bjorsne’s gorgeous vocals, and the gentle synthmelodies of David Farrell. One of 2008’s stand-out tracks, one hopes the band haven’t peaked too early. Such worries evade those in attendance though, as the happy few fall silently reverential. The band launch into tracks taken from their latest LP, Replica Sun Machine. No Social is an early highlight, creating a haunting sound resonant of The Bad Seeds and The Sonics. The opening songs are well-received by the crowd, but it takes a cover of Grace Jones’ Slave to the Rhythm before the band seem ease themselves into truly comfortable territory. Shorn of the introVSHFWLYH VHOI UHà HFWLRQ RI WKHLU RZQ O\Uics, the 80’s icon’s hit is positively blasted RXW 0LQRU ÀUVW DOEXP KLW Is it any wonder? immediately follows and the band’s presence begins to dominate the stage; more so than any other, this track epitomises the GHÀQLWLYH VRXQG RI 7KH 6KRUWZDYH 6HW Gentle, fragile vocals and guitars contra-

Â?First formed 2003 Â?Band members Andrew Pettitt (vocals/guitar) Ulrika Bjorsne (vocals/guitar) David Farrell (samples/decks) Â?Albums The Debt Collection (2005) Replica Sun Machine (2008) Â?Singles Slingshot, Is It Any Wonder?, Repeat to fade, Casual use, No Social, Now ‘til 69 Â?Notes The band have toured as main support act with Gnarls Barkley and Goldfrapp, and have also provided remixes for Moby and Scissor Sisters. Danger Mouse of Gnarls Barkley was so taken with the group that he offered to produce their new album. The band describe their sound as ŇŠ9LFWRULDQ )XQNŇ‹ SRVVLEO\ DV WKHLU Ă€UVW album was apparently made with broken instruments from Greenwich Market, and second-hand samplers Â?Photography by Jonathan Allen dicted and enlightened by the electronic soundscapes emanating from their dazzling armoury of equipment. It still sounds as majestic as it did three years ago. The band’s releases have won substantial critical acclaim. Despite countless ‘Single/Album of the week/month’ awards from the likes of Zane Lowe, Lauren Laverne and many a newspaper, sales have remained modest. ,W VHHPV EDIĂ LQJ WKDW DV 7RS KLWV and prominent festivals slots are thrown

the way of generic indie bands, many of whom possess a single memorable chorus drawn out for an entire album, The Shortwave Set are ignored. Their sound is quirkily accessible, but has yet to enjoy the breakthrough of a Play or a Moon Safari. Having truly shaken off any initial nerves, the band hit full-speed for the rest of the night’s proceedings. Full-speed in terms of melancholic electro-pop, that is. Replica veers between Doctor Who

For something totally different to everything else this year, try this.

Kings of Leon Only by the Night

Randy Newman Harps and Angels >>>Most will recognise the odd voice from the soundtrack of Toy Story. Growing up to the sounds of You’ve Got A Friend In Me often makes people forget Newman is a real artist who was writing songs 20 years before the release of the ground-breaking 'LVQH\ 3L[DU ÀOP 0XVLFDOO\ RXW RI WXQH with the times (and only reaching #48 on the UK charts), the album is based around rather old school beats and piano heard in New Orleans records of the past, like those of Fats Domino. >>>Potholes discusses the inevitable memory lapses of old age while A Few Words In The Defense Of Our Country reassures the rest of the world that some Americans dislike their government too.

The Verve Forth >>>Far surpassing anything Richard Ashcroft has done since Urban Hymns, Fourth shows the band have made a triumphant UHWXUQ ÀULQJ RQ DOO F\OLQGHUV ZLWK WKHLU PL[ of rock with sampling and acoustic ballads. >>>A headlining performance at Glastonbury brought them back to household name status, and showed they have lost none of their magic. 1R GRXEW \RX ZLOO KDYH KHDUG ÀUVW VLQJOH Love Is Noise, but looking at Valium Skies and Sit And Wonder shows you just how à H[LEOH WKH\ FDQ VWLOO EH

>>>The UK’s favourite import from across the seas (apart from Kopparberg of FRXUVH KDYH VROLGLÀHG WKHLU VRXQG LQWR plain old sound rock with their southern indie edge. Adding to their string of popular albums, the Kings are no doubt en route to the heights of super stardom over the next few years. They might have lost some of their experimentalism since the previous DOEXP EXW KDYH ÀOOHG LQ IRU WKLV ZLWK EHWter tunes and inspiring lyrics. A testament to this is how much Use Somebody is still being played weeks later. Don’t forget the hit single Sex on Fire too. MGMT Oracular Spectacular

theme tune-esque psychedelia and orchestral melodies reminiscent of Arcade )LUHŇ‹V PRVW OLIH DIĂ€UPLQJ PRPHQWV )LUVW ever release Slingshot is clinically dispatched without even a cursory hint of apprehension, whilst absurdly catchy forthcoming single Glitches and Bugs sees many a hesitant foot begin to tap. The set ends with Sun Machine. Spellbindingly beautiful, an appreciative hush IDOOV EULHĂ \ XSRQ DQ LQGXVWULDO FRUQHU RI provincial Tyneside.

>>>The underwhelming live experience with this band have not tainted how wonderful the album is - strong songwriting, catchy riffs and music that would not be RXW RI SODFH LQ 0*07 KDYH KLW WKH music scene in the face and remind everyone not to take the world too seriously. Time To Pretend has been an anthem for our generation while Kids and Electric Feel have provided bouncing fun songs that everyone can enjoy. Where they can go from here is anyone’s guess, but enjoying this music is certainly not hard. Their dream producer of Barack Obama may yet happen.

David Byrne and Brian Eno Everything That Happens Will Happen Today >>>7KHLU ÀUVW FROODERUDWLRQ LQ RYHU

The crowd may have been sparse, but those in attendance were treated to something special. Even the lack of an encore fails to dim the smiles being exchanged between strangers as they leave, as if to acknowledge that they’re all in on a wonderful secret that few others know about. On tonight’s evidence, it can’t be long before the public at large are in on them. Replica Sun Machine is out now on Wall of Sound Records.

years is an album in tune with the times - featuring plenty of crazy sound effects, acoustic strumming and precise singing everything you would expect from the exTalking Heads man and the super-producer, who gets a second mention here. >>>Apparently, it has gospel and electronic stylings, but you’ll have to judge this for yourself. Not getting a physical release, you can stream the album free from everythingthathappens.com to hear one of the best collaborations of the year, and one of the strongest albums Byrne has produced in a while. >>>Maybe the best thing from the album is the Songs of David Byrne and Brian Eno tour that is crisscrossing around the world as we speak, hitting the Sage, Gateshead next year. It is unfortunately without Eno, but features modern dancers and setlists ranging the 30 year career of Byrne, making it one not one to be missed >>>Honourable Mentions must go Duffy for Rockferry, with some of the years biggest singles from Wales’ newest hero, The Killers for another strong offering with Day & Age, The Feeling for producing more Queen-Supertramp infused pop with Join With Us DQG *XQVҋQҋ5RVHV IRU ÀQDOO\ UHleasing Chinese Democracy, layered with guitar solos, each one out-doing the last. Over the Christmas break, why not indulge in what this year has offered in music? Happy listening!

12

INDIGO

Tuesday 9 December 2008 palatinate.org.uk

FILM & TELEVISION film@palatinate.org.uk

=@CD K<C<M@J@FE

)HDWXUH ÂżOP UHYLHZ Palatinate takes a look at Body of Lies and wonders whether we have seen it all before for a more engaging introduction. It also serves as a reminder that the war is also being fought at home, not just abroad, and affects people we might even know. 7KURXJKRXW WKH Ă€OP WKH IDFW WKDW LW LV adapted from a novel is quite noticeable with the amount of jumping around it does, and its very linear narrative of cause and effect. This is not necessarily a bad thing, it’s just noticeable and worth a mention in passing. The plot itself though, by its episodic nature means that it’s quite gripping in parts, and you just want to know what’s coming up next. Beneath this narrative lies a more complex set of issues, it’s not just about a CIA agent, it’s about the war itself and I think certain perspectives are represented in the characters. DiCaprio’s character for example, Ferris – represents the soldiers and agents on the ground, in the thick of it. Whereas the bloated, controlling Hoffman (Crowe) is portrayed as “Americaâ€?, or rather the administration of America operating in the interests of the American public (or so he thinks).

Body of Lies Dir. Ridley Scott Star. Leonardo DiCaprio et al Â?Â?Â?Â?Â?

I

’LL BE HONEST, I wasn’t going to like WKLV Ă€OP LW KDG WR EH EDG GLGQŇ‹W LW" +ROlywood takes on terrorism and the war LQ ,UDT" *LYH PH D EUHDN It was going to be a red blooded proAmerican “shoot ‘em upâ€? in I-raq and I-ran, where DiCaprio kills all the bad guy Arabs and swans off into the sunset after winning the war. A real American hero. 7HFKQLFDOO\ KRZHYHU WKH Ă€OP VKRXOG have been good – Ridley Scott (Gladiator) GLUHFWLQJ 5XVVHOO &URZH DQG /HRQDUGR DiCaprio starring, so at least the talent was there, now they just needed to tackle the subject matter properly.

“Even those detached from current news affairs should relate to the issues�

“Body of Lies is a lot better than it looks in adverts on TV and billboards�

On the surface, Body of Lies is about Roger Ferris (DiCaprio) tracking down a terrorist in Jordan, all the time reporting back to and being monitored by his superior in the US: Ed Hoffman. The plot is topical and contentious, and even those detached from current news affairs should be able to in some way relate to the issues, even if they don’t fully understand them. From the outset of the movie there is a strong element of realism – opening the ÀOP LQ 0DQFKHVWHU VWUDLJKW DZD\ DOORZV XV to identify somewhat more with the setting WKDQ VD\ D 0LGGOH HDVWHUQ GHVHUW PDNLQJ

authority of judgement by a group of politicians on the other side of the world. The part that is particularly clever and in some ways, funny, is that Hoffman is controlling the operation, not only from the other side of the world, but whilst he carries out everyday tasks like the schoolUXQ VRPHZKDW OLNH SOD\LQJ D FRPSXWHU game – a kind of passive interaction. I imagine (or hope) that important military decisions on matters of life and death aren’t dealt with in this way, but the heavyKDQGHG F\QLFLVP VLJQLĂ€HV WKH IHFNOHVV DWtitude of the US forces perceived by the media. Body of Lies is a lot better than it looks in adverts on TV and billboards, it’s a lot smarter than it appears, but it does have one annoying feature. >>>There is a little bit too much glamorised violence in parts, and it doesn’t need LW ² WKLV LV D VHULRXV Ă€OP 7KLV LV WKHUH EHFDXVH LWŇ‹V D +ROO\ZRRG Ă€OP DQG LW FDQŇ‹W HVcape its generic conventions as essentially a spy movie, and being Hollywood, it’s out to make lots and lots of money (which is understandable with it costing $70million to produce), so allowances have to be made for its intended market. 7KLV GRHVQŇ‹W PHDQ LWŇ‹V D EDG Ă€OP , ZRXOG GHĂ€QLWHO\ UHFRPPHQG LW MXVW GRQŇ‹W expect a silly shoot ‘em up, it isn’t, and there are quite a few harrowing scenes that you wouldn’t see in a Bourne or Bond Ă€OP ,WŇ‹V QRW TXLWH DV RULJLQDO DV LW FRXOG EH but it’s really good for a Hollywood production. It’s a damn sight better than most of the drivel out at this time of the year. Ben Swales

>>>Their relationship is certainly analogous to that of the US forces with their WDVN PDVWHUV EDFN KRPH ZLWKKROGLQJ RI LQIRUPDWLRQ DQG IDOVLĂ€HG LQWHOOLJHQFH WKDW make the difference between life and death is prevalent throughout, climaxing in an explicit attack on Hoffman (Crowe) by Ferris (DiCaprio), questioning the actual

Apology Calum Mulderrig provided us with WKH XQFUHGLWHG )HDWXUH ÀOP '9' review of The Dark Knight last issue. We apologise for the lack of a byline.

'9' UHYLHZ

6WLOO LQ WRS JHDU"

Does Wall-E live up to Finding Nemo?

Half-way through its twelfth series, is Top Gear still on form?

Wall-E Dir. Andrew Stanton Star. Â?Â?Â?Â?Â?

I

N PIXAR’S LATEST effort, man-made refuse has piled up so alarmingly that Earth has become uninhabitable for humans. Cute robot WALL-E (Waste Allocation Load Lifter - Earth class) is alone on the planet clearing up mankind’s accumulated detritus, among which KH ÀQGV HYLGHQFH RI WKH (DUWKҋV UHnewed capacity to support human life in the form of a lone seedling. WALL-E is Andrew Stanton’s second directorial effort for Pixar following Finding Nemo. More warmly received than Toy Story and Monsters Inc. Finding Nemo remains the studio’s biggest commercial success to date, raking in upwards of $850 million. The critically-adored WALL-E KDV PDGH DURXQG KDOI WKDW ÀJXUH The overwhelming success this summer of The Dark Knight will have played its part, but the simple fact is that WALL-E is too adult in its themes for the vast majority of children. 7KH DOPRVW GLDORJXH IUHH ÀUVW KDOI (WALL-E himself communicates in a series of electronic hoots, while his incredibly expressive eyes are a mas-

terpiece of animation) requires the sort of patience with which the average pre-schooler is rarely endowed. WALL-E FHUWDLQO\ KDV WKH VFL À SHGLJUHH WKH VKLSҋV FRPSXWHU LV YRLFHG E\ $Oien franchise veteran Sigourney Weaver, while WALL-E’s speech, as well as that RI YDULRXV RWKHU URERWV LQ WKH ÀOP LV WKH work of Ben Burtt (whose previous work includes R2-D2’s electronic vocabulary). The scene in which the ship’s captain regains the use of his legs after a lifetime of atrophy may well be the greatest 2001: A Space Odyssey homage of all time. Pixar is making something of a tradition of excellent 2-disc sets, and the usual commentary, deleted scenes and short ÀOPV DUH SUHVHQW DQG FRUUHFW WALL-E was preceded in cinemas by the hilarious Presto, the tale of a disgruntled magic rabbit who rebels on-stage against his magician), along with The Pixar Story. There are a few caveats: while the HQYLURQPHQWDO VLGH RI WKH ÀOPҋV PHVsage is perfectly valid, it may be a little rich to be lectured on the dangers of sitting in front of a screen all day when we’ve just paid good money for a DVD. WALL-E stands, however, as yet another classic in the Pixar canon, DQG RQH RI WKH ÀQHVW ÀOPV RI The DVD came out 24th November. Guy Lawrence

“

AT A HUNDRED and forty-seven thousand pounds, it’s even more expensive than a loaf of bread�, remarks Jeremy Clarkson facetiously as he careens around a track in the new Lamborghini Gallardo, heralding the return of the BBC’s critically acclaimed motor journalism show Top Gear. As Clarkson and co. embark RQ WKHLU WZHOIWK VHULHV LW LV GLIÀFXOW QRW WR be impressed by the continued strength of the show since its relaunch in 2002. With a return that has already seen the Top Gear team taking a set of American muscle cars for a spin through the stunning landscapes of Utah with more than a touch of adolescent tomfoolery, I for one can only feel relieved that the programme has come back to enliven our cold Sunday evenings with its inescapable charms. In terms of structure and features little

has been done to alter this series over the previous one. As usual the allure of the show appears to have reached the celebrity world – big names such as Sir Michael Parkinson and Hollywood actor Mark Wahlberg KDYH DOUHDG\ VHHQ LW Ă€W WR YLVLW WKH 7RS Gear studios in Surrey to be interrogated by Clarkson, generating some interviews that are, frankly, as funny as they are interesting. >>>Also echoing the formula of the previous series is the number of quirky motors that have been put to the test this time URXQG ² WKH Ă€UVW HSLVRGH LV PRUH FRQcerned with lorries and wedding cakes than anything else, while Richard Hammond’s latest trip to Japan saw him driving a Toyota that resembles something more along the lines of a chair than a car.

“A slew of real motors on show� Already too there has been no end of the team’s badinage and provocative (though undeniably hilarious) one-liners, to the point that we have already seen Clarkson peering cheekily over the Russell Brand / Jonathan Ross precipice with a gag directed towards lorry drivers that

has reportedly sparked over 500 complaints from viewers. Aside from these theatrics there is of course a slew of real motors on show. Amongst the various cars reviewed so far are the Porsche 911 GT2, Corvette ZR1 and the Dodge Challenger: making for coverage that will surely please both car fanatics and casual viewers alike. As is perhaps to be expected though, those looking for a more sensible approach to motor journalism or those averse to Clarkson’s often crude humour will not Ă€QG VDWLVIDFWLRQ KHUH EHFDXVH WKLV VHULHV does absolutely nothing to address the criticisms that have been levelled against the show in the past. Indeed it is perhaps worth mentioning that only one affordable, ‘normal’ car has been scrutinised by the team so far in the series. Yet it is due to this inability to take itself seriously that Top Gear is, and probably will continue to be, so compelling – whether you are a car fan or otherwise. As we all know, Clarkson and his colleagues are setting out primarily to entertain and in this aim they undoubtedly succeed. Lucky, then, that the BBC has a total of eight episodes prepared for us and as the rest of the series unravels it will FHUWDLQO\ EH KDUG WR Ă€QG VRPHWKLQJ EHWWHU to watch on a Sunday evening. Jake Buckingham

2 C X >

Tuesday 9 December 2008 palatinate.org.uk

BOOKS books@palatinate.org.uk

INDIGO 13

9FFBJ

Playing with words Durham English department’s distinguished Professor Michael O’Neill shares his poetic inspiration with Emma Ashru Jones and Alice Graves

A

“I think Plath is a poet who is sometimes misunderstood by her fansâ€? >>â€?I call it ‘a strange place I know and need and fear’, and I think that place is partly the imagination and it’s the fear of what you might encounter when you get there. I think Plath is a poet who is sometimes misunderstood by her fans because they love the ‘life’, the Ted Hughes stuff – I KDYH WR VD\ WKDW , Ă€ QG ELRJUDSKLHV RI SR ets totally boring! Though I do think I like poets to write about themselves personally as well.â€? >>>The refreshing thing about O’Neill’s calling into play the words of the poets of the past is that it signals a degree of selfFRQĂ€ GHQFH DQG DPELWLRQ ² HYHQ DW WKH LQ evitable – and too easily shied away from - risk of pretension. >>>“I think a lot of poets are afraid of seeming poetic or afraid of challenging comparison with poets like Yeats,â€? he says. “But I like it when the ghosts of the great poets appear. And yet you don’t

3+2726 -$0(6 .,1*

S ANY ENGLISH student will know, Professor O’Neill is highly inspirational as a lecturer and tutor. But dining with Michael O’Neill, conversing DERXW KLV RZQ SRHPV DQG SHUVRQDO LQĂ X ences is like hearing all of his acute comments, his beautiful phrases and his recitations of classic poetry– the best bits of his lectures – merged into one. >>>He has an encyclopaedic knowledge of literature, quoting effortlessly from Yeats, Coleridge, Berryman, Hardy, Larkin, F.R. Leavis, to name a few, blending their words seamlessly into his own. >>>It is unsurprising that as the great poHWV Ă€ QG WKHLU ZD\ LQWR KLV HYHU\GD\ VSHHFK their words also play an important part in O’Neill’s poetry. “I’m quite interested in that whole side of poetry of allusion and echoes... and yet I try to write without being overly literary somehow‌ my day job is teaching literature, which I love and am passionate about, but I’m also interested in the way life and literature intersect and pull in different directions.â€? >>>In fact, O’Neill cites his most important LQĂ XHQFHV DV : % <HDWV 3HUF\ 6KHOOH\ and T.S. Eliot, which after reading his poHPV VHHPV YHU\ Ă€ WWLQJ DV ZLWKLQ KLV ZRUGV you can hear the lilting quality of Yeats, experience Shelley’s imagination and his poem Appearances opens with a direct allusion to an early Eliot poem. >>>Yet perhaps the most surprising inĂ XHQFH KH DFNQRZOHGJHV LV 6\OYLD 3ODWK “Although she’s not a poet that I would say I greatly like, I love her phrases. And I also feel drawn to an extremism in Plath. That slightly worries me! I know she’s in my head somewhere. There is a tension between ordinariness and something tragic about Plath. That’s what my poem Probably Not is actually about in the end, I think; ordinariness‌ >>>“I’m very drawn to that side of her that is attracted to a sort of darkness, and into escaping to something rich and imaginaWLYHÂŤ ,Ň‹P TXLWH KRUULĂ€ HG E\ WKH QXPEHU RI my poems that do that. But I think it’s also there in a poem called Going Back which is on the surface about a place that I knew when I was growing up – but it’s also about going back in the sense of regression.

ZDQW WR EH RYHUZKHOPHG E\ WKHP WKDWŇ‹V D YHU\ GLIĂ€ FXOW EDODQFLQJ DFW , WKLQN 7KHUHŇ‹V a sense of ambitiousness which you want to evoke for those poets to remain in the FXOWXUH EHFDXVH WKH\Ň‹UH VR JUHDW \RX MXVW want to keep them.â€? >>>As an undergraduate, O’Neill had the life every serious student sometimes wishes they had the motivation to live. “All I can remember about my undergraduate days is how hard I worked – I was – yep – obsessive, really,â€? he recalls. >>>“I went to the library at about 9 in the morning and I came home at about 10 at night and that’s really what I did. I had little time for anything but literature as far as I can remember. I was utterly consumed with a passion to read it; just to read every word that anyone had ever written.â€? >>>As a result of this passion and natural hunger for books, he graduated from OxIRUG ZLWK D Ă€ UVW LQ (QJOLVK /LWHUDWXUH \HW his career as an academic stemmed not from purely academic motivations. In fact, it was the poet in him that led him down that career path. >>>“I never wanted to be an academic working purely as a scholar, though I admire scholarship greatly. I wanted to be an academic because I wanted to write about poetry particularly – and I wanted to write about poetry because I wanted to write poetry and one way I could do that was to be an academic.â€? >>>As an academic, O’Neill’s passion for literature has not wavered from his student days, and he beckons students to devour literature without diluting it. “I hate it when authors get boiled down to just a text. Much better to read original works than spend too much time on criticism.â€? >>>:KHQ DVNHG DERXW KLV SURFHVV RI KRZ he writes and if he has any sort of rituals, his face immediately lights up with the twinkling of recollection. “I do believe in in-

spiration. I think it’s very important and the poems of mine that I like the most are the ones that are just given to me – they’re literally handed on a plate, like somebody’s just dictated them through me, but you only get those perhaps as a spin-off from working hard on something else. A line will just pop into my head, like the start of ‘Going Back’; ‘I go back seldom now and all the time’. I could feel it was a poem – that line just hit me.â€? >>>This kind of gift may seem enviable to any budding poets out there, but O’Neill notes that it’s not all that easy. The occasional line will appear to him, but then WKHUHŇ‹V WKH ZKROH SUREOHP RI Ă€ WWLQJ D SRHP to that line, and crafting a poem that has the same musical qualities of that given line.

“Half the time as a poet you are like a lunatic with all these syllable noise games you are playing in your head� >>>Also, the creative process is completely different to the creativities involved in academic writing. “I can’t do it the way I can do academic prose. I’m with Shelley on that one – you can’t just go and say ‘I will write a poem.’ On the other hand you’ve got to work very hard as well.� >>>O’Neill speaks of the way in which poetry comes to him like an experimental game. “Half the time as a poet you are like a lunatic with these syllable noise games you are playing in your head – there’s a

great deal of sheer messing around with words involved in writing – you’re just like a painter playing around with a pot of paint and you know words are a joy really. You can hear poems – as it were potential poems – spoken all the time... >>>“In fact I sometimes think of it as a terrible vice, like a sickness. Poetry can induce great joy in you when you do it, but sometimes on the other hand it can seem like a very strange activity, as though you’re always living to write or something like that. It can seem parasitic. Seamus Heaney talks of himself as ‘an artful voyeur’ in one poem, and a lot of poets can feel that sometimes.â€? >>>Keen to discover O’Neill’s future literary plans, we ask if there is a potential novel looming on the horizon, to which he drolly replies, ‘No, I’m just not interested enough – I’m too self-centred! I think a lot of the things that novelists do you’d like to think you can do the equivalent of in a SRHP ² IRU P\ Ă€ UVW ERRN P\ HGLWRU ZURWH in the blurb on the back that I made poems out of subject matter that could have been a novel and I remember when I read that I thought ‘Oh drat – I’ve done the wrong thing! Might have sold a few books!’â€? >>>This notion of literature in life is linked to his opinion of why people actually study literature. “There’s so many reasons, aren’t there, why people are drawn to literature – there’s the sheer joy of using words and the sheer aesthetic pleasure of what I call poetry’s magic.â€? >>>$W WKLV SRLQW KH ODSVHV LQWR &ROHULGJH “‘In Xanadu did Kubla Khan / A stately SOHDVXUH GRPH GHFUHH :KHUH $OSK WKH sacred river ran...’ that kind of stuff. On the other hand there’s also – and I think I felt this very strongly when I was a teenager – the sense that literature will unlock doors, it will tell you about life. ‘Reading is living by other means;’ when you read Dostoevsky, Hardy and Flaubert and all the rest you feel they seem to know things, and you think, ‘How do they know it?’ They seem to know about societies – the human heart – and it seems to be a knowledge of a kind you’ll get nowhere else. No one else

will give you this; ‘you feel it on your pulses’ to paraphrase Keats.â€? >>>This sense of ‘living by other means’, through literature, is open to the accusation of being an escapist pursuit; the pursuit of a dimension divorced from reality, and O’Neill is fully aware of this. >>>“There’s no two ways about it, there’s nothing better than curling up on the sofa with a good novel. But there’s a ‘good’ escapism involved in literature, because it reorganises life – what is it Philip Sidney says ‘nature’s world is brazen, the poets RQO\ GHOLYHU \RX D JROGHQ"Ň‹ :H JR WR DUW because it’s not nature – who wants life when you can have art? You’d be crazy to deny our longing for something better. And art can seem to offer us that, yet that can be dangerous, too.â€? >>>O’Neill has lived and worked in Durham since 1979 and spent practically his whole career teaching the students of Durham University. >>>“I feel that we have a bit more intellectual freedom here than I sense in other places. I think The Times league tables got it right!â€? >>>His reasons for staying will seem incredible to any English student here, as Professor O’Neill has a somewhat celebrity status amongst the students. This status has been known to consistently Ă€ OO OHFWXUH KDOOV HYHQ WKH RŇ‹FORFNV DQG most impressively to cause a full lecture theatre to spontaneously erupt into grand applause upon his entrance.

“You’ve got to believe in yourself and you’ve got to hang on in thereâ€? >>>Although he claims he has “no sense of that whatsoever really,â€? O’Neill does believe in the quality of the Durham student. “I’ve always loved teaching in Durham. I feel I’ve always had a good rapport with students here; I like teaching Durham students and I feel we’re very fortunate in the calibre of students we attract. I can’t imagine having better students elsewhere.â€? >>>Finally, we ask if he has any advice for any young poets out there. “The only advice I really have is that you’ve got to believe in yourself and you’ve got to hang on in there and you’ve got to keep writing – keep scribbling is what I want to say. And read Rilke’s letters to a young poet – which are the most wonderful piece of advice – he’s basically says only you will know if you’re a poet, no one else will be able to tell you, only you will know, and you’ll only know if you are honest with yourself and then you’ll never really know anyway! >>>“And I don’t think anyone ever does... I mean I never think of myself as a poet‌ I couldn’t quite bring myself to say that, but I always think I’m someone who tries to write poems.â€? >>>As he asks for the bill and adjourns to a seminar, we ask O’Neill if there is anything he would like to add. >>>“Probably just ignore everything I’ve said,â€? comes the reply.

14

INDIGO

Tuesday 9 December 2008 palatinate.org.uk

STAGE stage@palatinate.org.uk

JK8><

Theatre, comedy and musical reviews

Preview Guys and Dolls at the Gala

>>>Oscar Blustin’s direction succeeded in creating electric dynamics between the characters. The symmetry of Blanche’s interaction with Stella highlighted the contrast and tenderness between the two sisters. Blustin’s blocking took advantage of the different levels offered by the stairs to detail the negations of power and passion between Stella and Stanley, Blanche and Mitch and Steve and Eunice. The result ZDV D IDVW SDFHG DQG à XLG SHUIRUPDQFH >>>Acting was strong, and the cast delivered musical Southern US accents without exception. Rebecca Collingwood tackled the complexity of Blanche DuBois with intelligence and poise, resulting in a compelling depiction of volatile, delicate femininity. >>>Mike Shaw exuded brutish, coarse dynamism in his portrayal of Stanley Kowalski, was vocally very strong, and the animalistic chemistry between Stanley and Stella was credible. Rebecca Mackinnon gave a warm, natural performance as Stella Kowalski. >>>My only criticism of the acting (and this is being very pedantic) was that the girls should have rehearsed earlier in the killer high-heeled shoes, as their footing was sometimes uncertain. Ben Starr was endearing as the awkward and innocent Mitch, achieving great moments of comic physicality and gesture. Rachel Metcalfe was relentlessly energetic as Eunice. >>>The haunting use of jazz music contributed to the aura of New Orleans decadence and sexuality. All in all a very professional production. Sorrel Wood

A Streetcar Named Desire Another Country Productions The Assembly Rooms Â?Â?Â?Â?Â?

G

ENERALLY SPEAKING, AN audience goes to see Tennessee Williams’ classic A Streetcar Named Desire with preconceptions spawned by AS-Level and Marlon Brando. These expectations were met with a sophisticated and stylish production.

“The claustrophobic domestic scene and acute attention to detail facilitated the plotâ€? >>>The Assembly Rooms stage was transformed into the sensuous urbanity of New Orleans with a clever set. The claustrophobic domestic scene and acute attention to detail facilitated the plot of clashing personalities and worldviews. The rosy walls and low lighting contributed to a tangibly steamy atmosphere and an impressive construction of the staircase VLJQLĂ€HG WKH RSSUHVVLYH FORVHQHVV RI WKH community. >>>The set was used well; the actors were clearly comfortable in a space that forced them to continually confront each other, culminating in the crowded explosion of %ODQFKHŇ‹V VHFWLRQLQJ LQ WKH Ă€QDO VFHQH

Not Sold Separately Durham Revue Fonteyn Ballroom Â?Â?Â?Â?Â?

H

AVING SEEN DURHAM Revue’s earlier show this term, I knew that they were a force to be reckoned with, but wondered whether the new gang would be able to do themselves justice in this unfamiliar space. They did not disappoint. >>>As the lights went down, my anxiety converted to excitement, and the atmosphere became one of surprising intimacy, bringing together the six members in an opening sketch which saw them at their sardonic and satirical best. Stevie Martin played a widow being informed of her late KXVEDQGŇ‹V UHFNOHVV LQĂ€GHOLW\ DQG DOFRKROism. >>>A challenging role at the best of times, but all the more so when his affair was with a best friend’s wife and the revelation is being made at his funeral via a game of ‘Who’s in the bag?’. This was a brilliant opener, carried largely on the hilariously subtle changes in facial expression of Stevie as she listened in anguish. The high standard was very much set. >>>Fast-paced and energised from the outset, this comedic tour de force proceeded to take its audience on a heady trip through land and time, stopping off en route at the homes of an OCD patient, a PLVRJ\QLVWLF Ă€OP GLUHFWRU DQG D WRUWXUHG toddler whose parents warned him of cannibal monsters living under his bed, and their role in the death of his brother Dave. The audience enjoyed their fair share of the surreal, too, with sketches taking place everywhere from a semi-detached with its very own Narnia to the inner mind of a tamagotchi and back again via the back seat of Knight Rider’s ‘Kitt’. >>>Tom Lyons shone in his portrayal of a

pretentious and frankly absurd Tom ‘Stoppit’ Stoppard, adding natural wit and repartee to desperately funny mannerisms in what was undoubtedly a highlight of the show. >>>Perhaps most shocking and theatrically successful of the night, though, was the aeroplane sketch, in which the audience, squirming with unease, found themselves observing the hijacking of an aircraft, only to discover the supposed attacker was in fact their own, highly perverse, pilot ‘having a little joke’. >>>%XW DVLGH IURP WKHLU JUDQG Ă€QDOH PLQH and the audience’s runaway favourite was the Hadrian’s Wall sketch, which transported us to the moment of the emperor’s realisation that his vision of a grand new villa and citadel was doomed never to progress beyond a four ft. wall in the north RI (QJODQG ´+DUGO\ VXIĂ€FLHQW WR NHHS WKH Scots outâ€?, he retorts, “Considering they’re not pygmiesâ€?. >>>Rounding off events with a theatrical Ă RXULVK WKH VHW UHDFKHG LWV IDEXORXV FOLmax with a sketch which spoke straight to the hearts of its audience - an episode of University Challenge. >>>Paying homage to The Comic Strip’s famous sketch from the 1980s, and proving conclusively that Oxbridge aristocrats don’t stand a chance when faced with the PLJKW RI 'XUKDP JHRJUDSKHUV WKH Ă€QDOH was one executed with the characteristic Ă DLU VOLFNQHVV RI GHOLYHU\ DQG WKH ERXQGless energy which I, by this point in the evening, had come to expect. >>>The group dynamics worked beautifully for a gang whose standard of acting was surpassed only by the musical interludes between sets. Speaking candidly, it is fair to say that Ziggy Stardust is to David Bowie what these guys are to the conventional comedy sketch show – a glittering alter-ego with charm and talent to boot. A night at Hound will never be the same! Sophie O’Neill

Company DULOG The Assembly Rooms Â?Â?Â?Â?Â?

A

LTHOUGH THE PLOT is based on WKH DZNZDUG GLIĂ€FXOW DQG SHUKDSV even futile character of Robert, the cast of Company compelled their audience to sympathise with and be intrigued by the plights of the play’s protagonist Bobby, who Mike Shaw played with versatility and endurance. Company conveys fragments of both Robert’s life and the lives and relationships of his ‘‘coupled up’’ friends. Thus allowing the audience to view different situations and characters and gain a more holistic understanding of Bobby as a character.

“The cast was bright and dynamicâ€? The guests attending his birthday don’t know each other and are only united by their friendship with Bobby. At the party they ask him to make a wish, but he doesn’t have one, not even to be married; he feels that these people are the only company he needs in life. >>>The cast was bright and dynamic, with an undertone of appropriate starkness in this opening scene, which was paralleled by some outstanding sharp and well-timed choreographed movements. >>>Following the dramatic birthday party opening was a series of disconnected and unordered scenes involving Robert and one of the other couples/characters. 7KH Ă€UVW RI WKHVH ZDV D SDUWLFXODUO\ HQjoyable, funny and well-polished scene

As DULOG brings ‘Guys and Dolls’ to Durham’s Gala Theatre this January, one of the most loved and vibrant musicals of all time will be bursting into life in the biggest musical event of the year! This show provides an unforgettable glimpse into 1940s Broadway, full of gamblers, nightclubs and the self-righteous do-gooders out to clean it all up. This uplifting musical is bursting with excitement and energy captured in the epic ensemble numbers which simply teem with show-stopping dance routines from Hot Box showgirls, and Cuban dancers, to crap-shooters. With classic numbers such as “Luck Be A Lady Tonightâ€?, “Take Back Your Minkâ€? and “Sit Down, You’re Rockin’ The Boatâ€?, and an unforgettable score and witty lyrics by Frank Loesser. Combining one of the greatest Broadway shows with some of the best musical and theatrical talent Durham has to offer, means that DULOG’s production is not to be missed as this bold and sassy musical soars into The *DOD 7KHDWUH LQ WKH Ă€UVW VKRZ RI WKH new year! DULOG guarantees you an amazing night out that will keep you buzzing all the way home and leave you with a permanent smile of your face. 20th January - 24th January. 7:30pm 20th, 21st, 22nd, 23rd, 24th. 2:30pm 21st and 24th. ÂŁ7 - ÂŁ15

between Sarah (Sarah Shephard) and Harry (Thomas Garnett), who must now be karate experts! Other notable performances were the bolshie and humorous Jenny (Nicola Jones) Amy, who panics frantically about marriage, which was depicted wonderfully by Niamh Murphy. >>>At the climax of the musical Robert Ă€QDOO\ FRQIURQWV WKH Ă€YH FRXSOHV DQG FULHV the question, ‘Why get married?’ which seems fair and appropriate as the lives of the married couples, are in a way, as XQIXOĂ€OOHG DV 5REHUWŇ‹V RZQ

“The constraints of society seem to get the better of him and ÂżQDOO\ KH ZLVKHV IRU someone to share his life withâ€? >>>However, the constraints of society VHHP WR JHW WKH EHWWHU RI KLP DQG Ă€QDOO\ he wishes for someone to share his life with, someone to help and hurt and hinder and love, someone to face the challenge of “Being Aliveâ€? with. >>>Back at the opening party, his friends waited two hours, but Robert hasn’t shown up. Finally, they all get the message and go home, wishing their absent friend a happy birthday. Robert appears alone, smiles, and blows out his candles. Even though this musical was complex and challenging in musical terms, with much dissonance and a range of musical styles, this was no problem for both the orchestra and the cast of this production. An unconventional and unusual musical but a thoroughly enjoyable watch! Carla Plater

2 C X >

Tuesday 9 December 2008 palatinate.org.uk

STAGE stage@palatinate.org.uk

INDIGO 15

JK8><

Theatre review

Comedy review DQFHV DQG GLUHFWLRQ NHSW WKH DXGLHQFH LQYROYHG WKURXJKRXW DQG WKHUHIRUH DOO FUHGLW PXVW JR WR (PPD IRU VXFK DQ LPSUHVVLYH FRRUGLQDWLRQ RI VXFK D ODUJH FDVW 2WKHU DVSHFWV RI WKH SOD\ RQO\ DGGHG WR WKH RYHUDOO VXFFHVV :KLOH WKH OLJKWLQJ ZDVQҋW SHUIHFW LW ZDV VLPSOH HIIHFWLYH DQG ZHOO VXLWHG WR WKH VW\OH RI WKH SHUIRUPDQFH 7KH VHW ZRUNHG ZHOO DQG (PPD 0DWWKHZV KDV JRRG FDXVH WR EH SURXG RI KHU SURGXFWLRQ WHDP

“Unfortunately a few performances did let the show down”

The Crucible %DLOH\ 7KHDWUH &RPSDQ\ /HHFK +DOO 2 :+$7 ,6 LQ D QDPH" $UWKXU 0LOOHUҋV The Crucible LV FHUWDLQO\ D QDPH PRVW RI XV ZLOO NQRZ RU UHFRJQLVH $V D *&6( VHW WH[W PRVW RI XV ZLOO UHPHPEHU VLWWLQJ LQ WKH FODVVURRP GHFRQVWUXFWLQJ HYHU\ VHQWHQFH LQ D YDLQ DWWHPSW WR FRPH WR JULSV ZLWK ZKDW LV D FRPSOH[ DQG JULWW\ VXEMHFW 7KH PHWDSKRULFDO OLWHUDO DQG DOOHJRULFDO DOOXVLRQV ZLWKLQ WKH SOD\ WR KXPDQ EDVHQHVV WKH 6DOHP ZLWFK KXQWV DQG WKH 0F&DUWK\LVP RI WKH V QHHG WR EH SRUWUD\HG VHQVLWLYHO\ DQG \HW ZH FDQҋW OHDYH ZLWK VLPSO\ D IHHOLQJ RI VDWLVIDFWLRQ :H QHHG WR EH KLW E\ WKH JUHHG DQG VHOILVKQHVV RI WKH JLUOVҋ VHOI SUHVHUYLQJ OLHV DQG VWUXFN E\ WKH VSHHG WKDW WKH ZKROH FRPPXQLW\ MXPSV RQ WKH EDQGZDJRQ

S

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

8QIRUWXQDWHO\ D IHZ SHUIRUPDQFHV GLG OHW WKLV VKRZ GRZQ 7KLV GLG QRW WKDQNIXOO\ GLVWUDFW IURP ZKDW ZDV RWKHUZLVH D ÀUVW UDWH FDVW :LOOLDP )LVKHUҋV 3URFWRU FDUULHG WKH SORW YHU\ ZHOO KLV PL[ RI GHHS HPRWLRQ ZLWK ҊUDZ PDQҋ DV RQH PHPEHU RI WKH DXGLHQFH FDOOHG LW FHUWDLQO\ OHIW XV LQ QR GRXEW WKDW KLV QDPH ZDV QRW JRLQJ WR EH XVHG IRU HYLO 6WHYLH 0DUWLQҋV $ELJDLO SRUWUD\HG DOO WKH YLROHQFH UHYHQJH ELWWHUQHVV DQG VWUHQJWK RQH FRXOG ZLVK IRU LQ VXFK D PLVJXLGHG JLUO EULOOLDQWO\ VKRZLQJ ZKDW FRHUFLYH OHDGHUVKLS RI D IHZ FDQ GR WR VR PDQ\ 6SHFLDO PHQWLRQ PXVW DOVR JR WR /XF\ &RUQHOO IRU D ZRQGHUIXOO\ IUDJLOH (OL]DEHWK &DOOXP &KHDWOH IRU D SLYRWDO +DOH ZKLFK UHDOO\ DOORZHG XV WR EHOLHYH LQ WKH JRRGQHVV RI PDQNLQG 6DUDK 7URWWHU IRU D IUDQWLF 0DU\ :DUUHQ DQG 6HDQ 0F&DIIUH\ IRU D WUXO\ KDQG ZULQJLQJ 3DUULV 6R ZKDW LV LQ D QDPH" :HOO %7&ҋV QDPH LV RQFH DJDLQ V\QRQ\PRXV ZLWK D VXSHUE HYHQLQJ RI JRRG HQWHUWDLQPHQW Tom Thorp

Elvet Underground )LVKWDQN 1 7+( /$67 6XQGD\ LQ 1RYHPEHU ZUDSSHG XS LQ DOO PDQQHU RI *UDQGPDҋV NQLWWHG IDYRXULWHV , IRXQG P\VHOI VNLGGLQJ P\ ZD\ XS 1RUWK 5RDG WR RQH RI P\ IDYRXULWH 'XUKDP HYHQLQJV WKH (OYHW 8QGHUJURXQG DW 7KH )LVKWDQN 7KH )LVKWDQN LV D FRPSOLFDWHG VSDFH ,WV LQWLPDWH DWPRVSKHUH VKRXOG WHFKQLFDOO\ ZRUN ZHOO IRU FRPHG\ HYHQLQJV %XW LWҋV ORQJ DQG QDUURZ DQG WKH RQO\ IHDVLEOH VSRW WR SHUIRUP LV DW WKH IDU HQG QHDU WKH WRLOHWV $ ZRUG RI DGYLFH EH FRPIRUWDEOH KROGLQJ LW RU GRQҋW GULQN +RZHYHU WKH VWDQG XS ZDV DV WKH ZHHN EHIRUH RI D YHU\ KLJK VWDQGDUG ZLWK HDFK FRPHGLDQ ÁDYRXULQJ KLV VHW ZLWK TXLFN ZLWWHG DXGLHQFH UHSDUWHH VXLWDEO\

O

DGDSWHG WR WKH UHODWLYHO\ VPDOO DWWHQGDQFH $QG D VKRXW RXW LV ZHOO GHVHUYHG WR WKH HYHU LQGLVSXWDEO\ HQHUJLVHG PDvWUH GH RI WKH HYHQLQJ -RKQ 'DYLV 7KH KLJKOLJKW RI WKH VRLUHH ZDV XQGRXEWHGO\ 'XUKDPҋV LPSURYLVHG FRPHG\ WURXSH Ҋ6KHOOVKRFNҋ 7KH JURXS FRPELQHG ZLW DQG KHURLF DPRXQWV RI HQHUJ\ WR VRPHWLPHV WULFN\ DXGLHQFH VXJJHVWLRQV -RKQ 6KDIHU DQG 5K\V &ROOLHU FHUWDLQO\ PDNH XS VRPH RI 'XUKDPҋV PRUH IRUPLGDEOH FRPLF WDOHQW 7KH ODVW VWDQG XS FRPHGLDQ -DPHV &KULVWRSKHU UHDOO\ KLW WKH ULJKW QRWHV ZLWK KLV VHW FXWHV\ DQG GDQJHURXVO\ FKDUPLQJ KH VPDUWO\ VKUXJJHG RII WKH FRFN\ OLWWOH JLW DW WKH IURQW DQG ZKHQ RQH MRNH GLHG D GHDWK VDYHG LW ZLFNHGO\ ZLWK D VZLJ RI KLV ZLQH DQG D ´I N \RXµ $QG ZK\ WKH KHOO QRW" 2IIHQGHG" <HV" :HOO I N \RX WRR Bianca Belby

Panto Time!

Stepping back to the 1940s

7KH IHVWLYH VHDVRQ JHWV RII WR D À\LQJ VWDUW RQ WKH KLOO

Rob Bownes secures Palatinate the inside story on DST’s intriguing new radio play

Cinderella St Aiden’s College St Aiden’s 7 ,6 $/:$<6 GLIÀFXOW WR NQRZ ZKDW WR H[SHFW IURP D FROOHJH SDQWRPLPH DQG ZKLOVW WKH SURJUDPPH PDGH LW FOHDU WKDW Ҋ&LQGHUHOODҋ ZDV D ODERXU RI ORYH WKH ODFN RI VWDJH OLJKWLQJ GXH WR WKH HTXLSPHQW IDLOLQJ FROOHJH WHVWV ZDV D VRPHZKDW GLVFRQFHUWLQJ VWDUW <HW ZKDW FDQ RQO\ EH GHVFULEHG DV D PHPRUDEOH SHUIRUPDQFH RI Ҋ6RPHWKLQJ WHOOV PH \RXҋUH LQWR SDQWRPLPHҋ D URDULQJ UHQGLWLRQ RI WKH +DOLID[ DGYHUW FODVVLF PDGH LW FOHDU WKDW WKLV ZDV QR RUGLQDU\ SURGXFWLRQ $ IHZ H[SHFWHG PLVWDNHV UHJDUGLQJ GHOLYHU\ RI OLQHV DQG WKH XVH RI VWDJH VSDFH DVLGH Ҋ&LQGHUHOODҋ SURYHG WR EH D KLJKO\ VXFFHVVIXO UH LPDJLQLQJ RI D SDQWRPLPH FODVVLF IRU WKH 'XUKDP 6WXGHQW ,W KDG HYHU\WKLQJ IURP ҊFRUQ\ҋ PXVLF WR WUDQVYHVWLWH VWHSVLVWHUV WKH ODWWHU RI ZKLFK GHVHUYH SDUWLFXODU FUHGLW IRU WKHLU GHGLFDWLRQ WR FUXGH FRPHG\ DQG DELOLW\ WR IUHTXHQWO\ URXVH WKH DXGLHQFH LQWR ODXJKWHU 2QH RU WZR HDUO\ VFHQHV IHOW ODERXUHG EXW VWLOO PDQDJHG WR JDUQHU D SRVLWLYH UHDFWLRQ IURP WKH DXGLHQFH ZKLOVW DV D ZKROH WKH FKDUDFWHUV ZHUH YHU\ ZHOO FDVW 7KH SHUIRUPHUV ZHUH FRPPHQGDEOH ZKHQ HQJDJLQJ WKH DXGLHQFH SDUWLFX-

I

ODUO\ FRQVLGHULQJ WKH SUHVHQFH RI VRPH FRQIURQWDWLRQDO DXGLHQFH PHPEHUV DQG LW LV DOZD\V D JRRG VLJQ ZKHQ WKH FURZG UHDGLO\ SDUWLFLSDWH LQ WKH YDULRXV VWDSOHV RI SDQWRPLPH HVSHFLDOO\ WRZDUGV WKH HQG RI WKH SURGXFWLRQ WKH VWHS VLVWHUV PDQDJLQJ WR JHW WKH YDVW PDMRULW\ RI WKH DXGLHQFH GDQFLQJ D VHW URXWLQH WR 6RXOMD %RLҋV Ҋ&UDQN 7KDWҋ LV SDUWLFXODUO\ ZRUWK\ RI PHQWLRQ

“The worst singing” 7KH PXVLFDO QXPEHUV IHDWXUHG VRPH RI WKH ZRUVW VLQJLQJ WKDW , KDYH HYHU KDG WKH SOHDVXUH RI KHDULQJ EXW WKLV VRPHKRZ ZRUNHG WR WKHLU DGYDQWDJH JLYHQ WKH VWXGHQW DXGLHQFH DQG WKH VFULSW ZDV YHU\ ZHOO WDLORUHG WR OLIH DW 'XUKDP 8QLYHUVLW\ 7KH VHW DQG FRVWXPHV ZHUH QRW HQWLUHO\ FRQYLQFLQJ EXW GLG QRW GHWUDFW IRUP WKH RYHUDOO H[SHULHQFH DQG WKH EDQG GLG D IDQWDVWLF MRE WKURXJKRXW ,ҋOO FHUWDLQO\ EH ORRNLQJ IRUZDUG WR DQ\ SDQWRPLPH SURGXFWLRQV E\ 6W $LGDQҋV LQ WKH IXWXUH DV Ҋ&LQGHUHOODҋ SURYHG WR EH DQ HQWKUDOOLQJ ZD\ WR VSHQG D FROG ZLQWHUҋV )ULGD\ QLJKW It VHHPV WKDW GLUHFWRU SURGXFHU -DFRE 3HUU\ҋV ZRUGV WKDW ´3DQWRPLPHV $5( MXVW IRU &KULVWPDVµ UDQJ YHU\ WUXH LQ WKLV SDQWR Jonathan Dixon

)

25 722 /21* UDGLR GUDPD KDV EHHQ WKH SUHVHUYH RI PLGGOH DJHG IDUPHUV GULQNLQJ ELWWHU VZDSSLQJ ZLYHV DQG EHLQJ RYHUO\ GHIHUHQWLDO WR WKH 5R\DO )DPLO\ $UL]RQD %D\ 3URGXFWLRQV KDYH GHFLGHG WR GUDJ WKLV QHJOHFWHG DUW IRUP LQWR WKH WZHQW\ ÀUVW FHQWXU\ E\ SXWWLQJ RQ D VKRZ DERXW WKH PRVW GUDPDWLF GHFDGH RI WKH WZHQWLHWK FHQWXU\ 7KH V H[SRVHV IRU WKH ÀUVW WLPH ZKDW DFWXDOO\ KDSSHQHG LQ ZHOO WKH V :KR UHDOO\ ZRQ WKH ZDU" :KHUH ZDV %HUOLQ DLUOLIWHG WR" $QG ZKDW ZDV WKH [ UDWHG DOWHUQDWLYH HQGLQJ WR Ҋ%ULHI (QFRXQWHUҋ" 7KH V ZLOO IHDWXUH DQ DOO VWDU FDVW D OLYH EDQG VRXQG HIIHFWV SHUIRUPHG VWDJH DQG ZLOO EH UHFRUGHG IRU EURDGFDVW RQ WKH LQWHUQHW WR D SRWHQWLDO DXGLHQFH RI KXQGUHGV RI PLOOLRQV MXVW OLNH HYHU\WKLQJ HOVH RQ WKHUH ,W SURPLVHV WR EH WKH UDGLR GUDPD UHFRUGHG LQ IURQW RI D VWXGHQW DXGLHQFH HYHQW RI WKH \HDU $QG WR EH UHDOO\ VLOO\ +HDYHQ NQRZV ZH DOO QHHG VRPH RI WKDW The 1940s Thursday, January 22nd - Saturday, January 24th. 8pm Assembly Rooms Tickets from £4 )RU PRUH LQIRUPDWLRQ FRQWDFW 0LFKDHO PLFKDHO XPQH\#GXUKDP DF XN

16 INDIGO

Tuesday 9 December 2008 palatinate.org.uk

GAMES indigo@palatinate.org.uk

>8D<J

:FDDLE@KP Š 2008 PUZZLEMIX.COM / GARETH MOORE

SUDOKU (“single number�) Fill the blank cells on the grid with numbers so that each box, row and column contains the digits 1-9 once only

EASY

6 3 1 4 7 5 6 2 1 4 9 8 7 5 6

9 4 8 6 2 7 8 9 5 6 7 2 3 7 1 4 2 8 6 7

Laura Matthews and Tom Bigglestone

HARD

MEDIUM

4

Community Corner

7 8 5 2 1

4 1 9 6 5 9 4 4 2 5 7 3 8 6 9 7 5 4 7 1

9

6 5

7

Junior High Performance Academy

1

4 1 2 9 6 7 3 1

6 5 4 1 3 9 8 2

9

1

9 8 6

1 5 3

Eight student volunteers have so far acted as mentors for the Junior High Performance Academy. The students have been sharing their experience of competitive sport with school children from the area, many of whom are aspiring to participate in the 2012 Olympics. A player from Hartlepool Football Club kindly spared the time to talk to the pupils, as did a representative from Durham County Cricket Club. Debating evening

so that remaining rows and columns contain no duplicates and white cells are all connected

Friday 5th December saw a group helped by homeless charity Tyneside Cyrenians team up with the University debating Team to debate the notion ‘Alcohol is more dangerous than illegal drugs.’ A group of Durham students, led by volunteer of the month Rachel Francis, have been working with the group for eight weeks, on the VNLOOV RI VSHHFK FRQĂ€GHQFH DQG FODULW\ RI H[SUHVsion, and the fantastic results of their efforts was there for all to see. Clients and students enjoyed a black tie dinner followed by a fascinating debate in front of a packed chamber.

EASY

New projects

5 8 3 9 6

3

2 7 4

9 5 6

4

Š 2008 PUZZLEMIX.COM / GARETH MOORE

HITORI Blacken cells that are neither vertically or horizontally adjacent to each other 6 1 2 4 2 5 2

HARD

MEDIUM

4 5 3 5 7 6 1

2 1 6 7 6 3 5

1 4 7 5 2 4 6

5 7 5 6 1 1 5

7 4 1 5 1 2 3

5 2 4 2 6 2 5

1 2 5 7 5 4 5

5 1 7 1 3 2 6

7 4 3 3 6 2 2

3 6 1 4 5 7 5

7 3 2 6 1 2 7

4 3 2 5 7 6 1

7 5 6 3 4 3 4

1 6 3 5 7 1 2

2 3 4 7 3 6 3

4 2 4 6 6 5 1

7 4 7 5 2 3 6

6 7 5 3 4 2 5

3 5 5 2 4 7 1

1 1 6 1 5 1 4

Š 2008 PUZZLEMIX.COM / GARETH MOORE

KAKURO (“addition cross�) Enter digits from 1-9 inclusive so that the

rows add up to the numbers on the left and the columns add up to the numbers at the top EASY

HARD

MEDIUM

11

9

17

12

6

23

3

6

10

20

3

8

4

6

28

24

11

10 19

7

13

11 21

16

24 13

6

19

13 4

3

19 10

4 3

17

4

7

10 4

7

7

19

10

11

4

10

3

DUCK Winding down from our somewhat hectic term KDV LQYROYHG GRQQLQJ ' JODVVHV IRU 'XUKDPҋV ÀUVW ever 3D Disco and braving the snow/ice lashed conditions to hitchhike to Paris for a weekend of merriment, garlic and Frenchmen. Certainly an ideal way to pass the last weeks of term. We now have successful teams for every expedition thus far and have 3 new ones on the rise: 5 weeks scuba diving and coral reef surveying with Coral Kay early summer, a 10 day cycle across Death Valley to Las Vegas, or 4 weeks community development work in Romania- if any of these tickle your fancy then drop us a line at duck.charities@dur.ac.uk. This terms total is looking more than healthy: a massive £69,918 exactly has been raised thus far. We have supported a wide variety of charities from the Peter Wake Foundation to Help the Aged, WWF to Water Aid. Thanks for all your support this term and let’s keep it going. SCA Shoebox Appeal

16 19

5

25

New projects are set to begin and established programmes continue from January onwards, so if you feel like becoming more active, improving \RXU FRQÀGHQFH DQG PDNLQJ D UHDO GLIIHUHQFH LQ the Durham community next term, email emma. hall-craggs@dur.ac.uk WR ÀQG RXW KRZ \RX FDQ get involved.

21 9

The Shoebox Appeal is in full swing! Student Community Action is collecting Christmas presents on behalf of local charity, Children North East, for disadvantaged young people in the area. We are especially looking for gifts for teenagers, so look out for offers on toiletries and stationDU\ 6KRHER[HV WR ÀOO DUH DYDLODEOH IURP 6&$ RU LI you don’t have time to put together a whole one, feel free to items that we can pack for you. Filling a shoebox with gifts should take no more than an hour of your time, and will transform Christmas for a child nearby. If you would like to put together a shoebox for the appeal, contact your SCA College Rep, or e-mail community.action@durham.ac.uk.

2 C X >

Turn static files into dynamic content formats.

Create a flipbook
Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.