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Anthony Horowitz Best-selling author of over 30 novels talks to Palatinate Lifestyle

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PALATINATE The official Durham University student newspaper since 1948

ISSUE 704 | FRIDAY 13TH FEBRUARY 2009

Items taken in college thefts

Shakespeare theft case transferred to Crown Court

Jess Pauley SEVERAL STUDENTS AT the College of St Hild and St Bede have had belongings stolen, including laptops and ipods, after thieves climbed in through their open windows using ladders. Although this sort of occurrence is common in university towns due to the perception that students are ‘easy targets’, it does not mean that it is any less of a problem.

Palatinate spoke to Detective Constable Steve Norris to find out what steps students can take to prevent themselves becoming victims of crime. He said that it is frustrating for the police to walk past accommodation buildings and see windows left open and insecure properties, making it easy for burglars. Therefore his advice for students is to close windows and lock doors, even if just leaving for a short period of time. Valuable items should be left out of sight, especially items like laptops, ipods, mobile phones and cash.

There are high visibility and plain clothed police patrols that take place around Durham, but they cannot be everywhere at once. Students should consider the devastation that would be caused if their laptop or mobile phone were to be stolen.

The actual item can be replaced, but all of the stored information would be lost forever.

As well as ensuring that your room or property is left secure when you are not around, other small steps can be taken to protect belongings. Students are advised to mark items such as laptops with a UV pen (available free of charge from the police station), so that if it did get stolen but then recovered, it could be reunited with its owner. You should also keep a record of the serial numbers on valuable items so that they can be traced if found.

If you see anything suspicious, you should phone the police on 03456060365, which is the main switchboard number.

DC Norris said that they would prefer people to ring and it turn out to be nothing rather than not giving them a call and it turning out to be something significant.

Phil Raine, the university police liaison officer, raises awareness amongst students by doing periodic talks throughout the term to advise students on how to best protect themselves. He is available to answer any queries on philip.raine@ durham.pnn.police.uk

Jess Pauley

Professor Anthony Forster, Pro-Vice-Chancellor for Learning and Teaching, talking with a group of students, following the University’s pledge of £200,000 to aid ‘credit crunch’ graduates

Helping hand for graduates affected by global economic crisis Tom Lewis DURHAM UNIVERSITY IS introducing a new Scholarship scheme for final year undergraduates. This will be a two thousand pound scholarship for students registering for a one-year full- time postgraduate course taught at the university (excluding PGCE programmes). >>>The news will come as some relief to those in their final undergraduate year with the market tougher than ever. Recent reports suggest unemployment is already approaching two million, and with a bloated number of students expected to graduate this year (400,000), jobs will be difficult to come by, even with a Durham University degree on your CV. >>>It has been reported that vacancies are down 5.4% on last year, with starting salaries frozen at the 2008 average of £25,000, and down as much as 8% in the financial sector. Just under half of the organisations in the Association of Gradu-

ate Recruiters are expected to hire less graduates this year, two-thirds admitting that this is either directly or indirectly as a result of the currently global crisis. >>>Durham’s solution therefore is to provide an incentive for an extra year of education in a taught master’s program.

Masters students on all courses can develop enhanced academic knowledge and transferable skills, such as analytical, problem solving, research, and communication skills. This should not only add to the student’s employability, but also remove them from the hostile economic market for another year. >>>Professor Anthony Forster, Pro-ViceChancellor for Teaching and Learning, said: “We’ve launched this scholarship because we recognise that, even for the most academically able and talented graduates, it’s a tough economic environment in which to seek employment.” He went on to say, “We want to give our graduates an extra incentive to build on their skills, ensuring they are in the very best position to get a firm foot on the career ladder.”

There will be 102 scholarships available, which will be awarded according to academic merit and potential assessed by the faculty Pro-Vice-Chancellors. The academic department must be willing to make the student a conditional or unconditional offer of a place on the programme to which they have applied. >>>There must also be a commitment to stay in one of Durham’s colleges for the duration of the study, as the two thousand pounds will be deducted from the residence’s charge. The money is coming from the University’s annual bedget. >>>The application deadline is February 27th and the final decision will be made at the end of March. >>>This is currently only available for those graduating in 2009, but may be extended in the future-subject to evaluation

by University senior managers. >>>Online applications and further information available at http://www.dur.ac.uk/ postgraduate/09scholarships/ Additional reporting by Jess Pauley

THE MAN CHARGED with the theft of the Shakespeare first folio from Palace Green library, Raymond Scott, (as reported in the last issue of Palatinate,) appeared before North Durham Magistrates on Tuesday 10th February. >>>He arrived at the Magistrates Court in a silver Ford stretch limo, accompanied by a chauffeur and his ‘researcher’ Claire Smith. He read extracts from Shakespeare’s Richard III, whilst clutching a “Bombay Bad Boy” pot noodle and a large Cuban cigar, before entering the building to go before the magistrates. >>>The hearing only lasted 10 minutes, in which prosecuter Michala Glass outlined the case against Scott and requested for the matter to be transferred to the crown court. Clive McKeag on the otherhand, representing Scott, said: “The defendant will not be putting in a plea today. The defendant does not agree with everything that has been said from a factual point of view but now is not the time to raise it.” >>>The magistrates declined jurisdiction and adjourned proceedings until April 14 when the case will be transferred to the crown court. Scott was released on conditional bail until his return to court.

Indigo Valentine’s Day Special

See pull-out inside centre spread...

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NEWS From the Union Will Stanley George Beverly THIS TERM AT the Union Society takes a more scientific approach.

The first debate of term, on civil liberties, saw a packed chamber hearing speakers such as David Davis, the former Shadow Home Secretary. The InterCollegiate Cup took place in week two of term and saw St. Aidan’s College win the final.

The second Friday of term saw a debate on British-manned space exploration, with speakers such as Professor Matt Griffin, who is leading the international consortium behind SPIRE (Spectral and Photometric Imaging Receiver), one of Herschel’s three instruments.

Last Friday saw the lively debate on the death penalty, with the chamber filled with contrasting views.

This Friday (13th Feb), the Union debates the teaching of intelligent design (ID) in science lessons. ID is a theory which states that certain features of living things are best explained by an intelligent designer, rather than by evolution through natural selection. Advocates of ID argue that it is a scientific theory - however this is refuted by the vast majority of the scientific community. The teaching of ID was challenged in America, with Professor Fuller speaking as an expert witness for ID. In 2006, Truth in Science (a British organisation of which Dr. Taylor is a member) sent intelligent design teaching packs to every secondary school in the country.

With ID on the rise in Britain, this important debate is not to be missed. Those speaking include Prof. Fuller, Dr. Taylor, Dr Alexander (a biochemist) and James Williams, who lectures in science education.

Next Friday (20th Feb), the Union debates the state of ‘Britain’s broken society’. Nick Herbert MP, the former Shadow Justice Secretary, will propose that only a Conservative government can fix it.

On the other hand, Simon Hughes MP, the ex-Liberal Democrat President, and Derek Draper, a former advisor to New Labour, will both speak for the opposition.

Both these debates promise to be interesting and thought-provoking. I hope to see many of you there in the audience.

As always, if you ever have a free evening, check the term card and see what’s on - get involved in the Union Society!

Violent computer games can play vital role in fire safety

Outdated degree classifications ‘must change’

Emily Evans

Andy Moore

RESEARCHERS AT DURHAM University have found a means of using violent computer games to build ‘virtual worlds’ which could educate people in fire safety practices. >>>The underlying software codes of commercial favourites, such as Doom 3 and Half Life 2, can be substantially modified to create simulated dangerous environments, which could identify potential problems with the layout of buildings, and familiarise users with proper fire evacuation procedures. >>>In the past, these games have been lambasted by parents and critics for their heavily violent content. However, Dr. Shamus Smith and student David Trenholme, of the university’s Computer Science department, spent 8 weeks creating a positive use for the technology behind this violent pastime of the adolescent male. Their study, funded by the Nuffield Foundation and recently published in the Fire Safety Journal, found that those games where the player experiences the game from the first person perspective, “have the greatest capability and resources for modification.” >>>Dr. Shamus Smith explained this process to Palatinate. It uses the ‘game engine’ of Half Life 2 (the mechanics which allows this games to run) as a basis from which they can generate their own ‘virtual environments’. This method of reusing established game engines is not only substantially quicker and more cost effective than starting the code from scratch, but

THE CURRENT SYSTEM of degree classification has come under yet more criticism as vice-chancellors across the UK labelled the system outdated.

The two hundred year old classification system gives too little information to employers, they told the Commons’ Universities Select Committee at the end of January. As the UK economy becomes ever more reliant on knowledge-based activities, arguments for a more detailed breakdown of results have become more pertinent as employers search for the best candidates for jobs.

Currently, universities are largely responsible for setting their own standards, and are only reviewed by the Quality Assurance Agency for Higher Education to ensure that they are maintaining those standards. The lack of a ‘national curriculum’ means that, according to Phil Williams, Chair of the select committee, “there’s no consistency between subjects or institutions”.

Rick Trainor, President of Universities UK, alluded to this when he told the select committee that “A first in ancient history from [one] university is not the same as a first in tourism and management from [another] university”, but added “both fully uphold standards that fulfil the purposes of their courses.”

The debate over the classification of degrees is not a new one. Already, a small group of higher education institutions are trialling Higher Education Achievement Reports (HEAR), a recommendation of a report by the “Burgess Group” produced in 2007.

The Higher Education Achievement Reports were endorsed by those speaking to the select committee.

also enables the finished programs to be run on an average computer. Therefore, no special high tech machinery is required and, as a result, a greater number of people would be able to benefit from this technology. >>>In fire safety terms, these virtual simulations could save valuable lives. There are, on average, 384,000 fires in the UK each year that are attended by the emergency services. Research has shown that the failure of evacuations in real scenarios is mainly due to complicated building layouts and a poor knowledge of correct exit procedures, which leads to human panic. >>>However, these games possess the ability to rectify both of these problems; as Dr. Smith told Palatinate, “virtual environments give you the ability to simulate things that you can’t do in the real world.”

Big issue is a big hit Peter Reid

Thefts in Durham Jess Pauley A NUMBER OF items have been seized by the Police. They are appealing for people to come forward if they have any information in relation to the goods: Grey ‘Toshiba’ laptop, model name Equium M50-244, model number PSM59E006008AV, serial number 56144469K. Blue/Silver ‘Vision British Eagle’ Ladies mountain bike.

Students are asked to contact PC 1920 Garbutt on 0345 6060365 ext 6682858 if they have any information in relation to the items.

The code of these computer games allow programmers to easily create a 3D picture with realistic fire-related conditions such as wind, smoke, flames and water. This means that the research carried out can be used to not only improve fire safety and to simulate evacuations, but also to train support staff such as firefighters who have to enter these dangerous environments and make split-second decisions. >>>The virtual model itself was based on the university’s Computer Science department, including fire alarm triggers and exit signs, and therefore highlights the strengths and weaknesses of the building’s layout. As expected, the trials of these virtual fire evacuation scenarios have been a success. In the future, gaming technology may not only entertain us - it may actually save our lives.

Elizabeth Fung Elizabeth Fung

ON THE EVENING of 4th February, a group of students met for a forum to find out more about The Big Issue magazine. >>>Paul Moore, the manager for the publication in North-East England, led the discussion. In his role, Paul spends his time supporting the magazine’s vendors, as well as identifying and providing training to new vendors. Many of these are of similar ages to students, but through unfortunate events during their lives, have ended up in very different situations. >>>In his address, Mr Moore said that the biggest misconception that people have about the magazine is that it is a form of charity. Instead, the aim of The Big Issue is to enable homeless people to begin building up skills that will allow them to reintegrate back into society, namely confidence, financial organisation and independence. >>>He stressed that they are not beggars, but instead are working to sell the magazine and work their way off the streets through self-help. Vendors will typically sell fifteen to twenty copies a day, with a profit of 80p per magazine.

Paul stressed that homeless people come from all backgrounds, and proceeded to identify another major illusion

in society: that homeless people are in this situation through their own fault. In the majority of cases, they are people who have suffered traumatic experiences, in particular whilst at home, or whilst serving in the armed forces, and ended up falling through the cracks of social support.

“enlightened about homelessness.” >>>Without the support of family or friends, many of these people end up as drug addicts or with serious mental illnesses. Without this support, it proves immensely difficult to build the determination to break addictions or get back into work. >>>The Big Issue seeks to address these problems by giving support when it is needed (from people like Mr Moore), and forming a new sense of family and support among the other vendors. >>>The evening overran but organisers felt that people left much more enlightened about the nature of homelessness and the lives of Big Issue sellers - and subsequently much less likely to walk past a vendor with heads turned the other way.

C M Y K

Friday 13 February 2009 palatinate.org.uk

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Bar feud at Castle ongoing Alexandra Wilson

Max Waldron An ongoing dispute between the Castle JCR and College Office has recently come to a head with an Emergency JCR Meeting, Palatinate has learnt. Students are furious with the College Office’s dismissal of the Bar Chair and Vice-Chair. >>>The affair started as long ago as 4th December last year, when ‘Elephant Polo Club’, a college drinking society, was involved in a number of controversial incidents. Members of the society were accused of intimidating students in college bars on a social. >>>The Bar Chair of Trevelyan College described the conduct of the students as “unacceptable under any circumstances, let alone a relatively quiet college bar”.

Some allegations were serious enough to warrant complaints being made to the police. >>>Rowdiness in Castle’s own Undercroft bar also led to a number of serious complaints. College Office’s initial response was to suspend the Bar ViceChair and the Head of Security, and close the bar for three days. On the last day of term both the Bar Chair and Vice were dismissed fully. >>> The official reason given by Vivian Flowerday, the Operations Manager, was a “result of failing to prevent alcohol being served to people too drunk to be served” and was “in no way linked to the EPC activities”. A member of the bar staff told Palatinate that every employee had in fact been trained by the previous Bar Executive Committee. >>>The JCR has been active in its defence of the Bar Exec. Last week’s Emergency Meeting, which was virtually unprecedented in the history of the

IN BRIEF Bill Bryson’s position as Chancellor of Durham University has been extended to include a second 5-year term which willtake effect from April 2010, writes Helen White. The Chairman of the university’s council said that Mr Bryson had demonstrated great enthusiasm for and commitment to Durham which was valued considerably by everyone. The Council wished to record their warm thanks to Mr Bryosn for the work the has done so far and his continuing support.

Jimmy A’s bouncer jailed

college, was called by 77 JCR members and sought to “discuss the position of the Bar Exec”. >>>The Executive Committee of Castle

JCR has had to maintain a delicate balance between the representation of its students and a stable relationship with the College Office, which now seems

seriously threatened. Wednesday’s Senior Man hustings, which contained a number of references to College Office, continued to draw attention to the affair.

Students use ‘die-in’ to protest against BAE Alexandra Wilson

Matthew Walters DURHAM UNIVERSITY students used the arrival of BAE Systems at the university’s science and technology employment fair, to stage protests against the company’s allegedly damaging business manner.

One group of demonstrators staged a “die-in”, entering the venue wearing Tshirts that gave the appearance of being blood-stained, and played dead in front of BAE’s stand at the exhibition. Placards

and banners expressing critical views of BAE were displayed.

Leaflets were distributed outside the Physics Department’s Ogden Centre, documenting reasons why students “shouldn’t work for BAE”.

“Inviting BAE Systems to this kind of event gives an air of legitimacy to what they really do,” Guy Hutchinson, spokesperson for the leaflet-distributing protestors, said. “We can look at it as an exciting engineering opportunity, a chance for career progression, an interesting technical problem - but what

it boils down to is selling lethal weapons to anyone that can pay, and conveniently ignoring the ethical implications of dealing with human rights abusers.

BAE Systems, Europe’s largest defence contractor, is currently under investigation by the Serious Fraud Office after allegations of corrupt business practice in several countries across the globe.

A representative for BAE Systems said: “We are used to protests such as these at student career fairs and we fully acknowledge the rights of demonstrators to voice their views.”

Nightline launches new E-listening service Emma Ashru Jones DURHAM UNIVERSITY’S NOCTURNAL listening, information and sexual health supplies service is now available from the comfort and privacy of your own computer.

Commencing Wednesday 11th February, Nightline’s confidential support is available via accessing the website where any student can speak freely and confidentially through Instant Messaging. The format is the same as popular online chat services, such as Msn Messenger, Facebook Chat and Skype Instant Messaging. However, unlike speaking to a friend, Nightline is entirely anonymous and will

Extension for Bill Bryson

never know the student’s identity.

The Director of Nightline, Tom Webb, told Palatinate that online listening will provide another dimension to student support in Durham that may appeal to people who would not normally call or drop in. ‘“Being amongst some of the first helplines in the country, I am proud to introduce Durham Nightline’s instant messaging listening service. The new format will enable those who may have previously felt too anxious, afraid or awkward about speaking to someone over the phone or in person, to receive the same unique service that Nightline provides via instant messaging. On any given night of term, all that stands between the students of Durham,

and confidential listening support, is one click of the mouse.”

Nightline is the only telephone helpline in the country that provides this particular online listening service, unlike Samaritans or Talk to Frank. It has been launched at several other Universities, and has been highly successful in improving student support. At the University of East Anglia, the introduction of online listening led to an increase in student response by 35%, 10% of which were telephone calls. With academic pressures and various factors contributing to the rise in stress levels this term, this new outlet may have arrived at the ideal time. ‘Working at a computer in the late hours can be a lonely, stressful

and draining experience. With Nightline’s instant messaging, you can speak to another student, to let off steam or even just for a friendly chat at any time of the night.’ said another Nightline spokesperson.

Nightline is there for every student, every night of term from 9pm until 7am by calling 0191 334 6444, dropping in behind the Dun Cow on Old Elvet and now, via online messaging at www.dur.ac.uk/nightline.

A bouncer from Jimmy Allen’s bar has been jailed for four and a half years afte attacking a customer and his son, writes Helen White. Michael Carter, 48, attacked a man who was celebrating his son’s birth day at the bar situated on Elvet Bridge CCTV caught Mr Carter punching the vic tim in the head and then hitting his son as he went to help his father. Carter told po lice the pair had threatened to kill him and his colleague.

Summer travel BUNAC, a student-run, not-for-profit organisation is holding a presentation on 19 February at 1.15 p.m. in ER 141, writes Peter Reid. It will discuss the opportunity to go to a summer camp, working as either a general councillor, or leading activities in a wide range of sports or performing arts. It is ideally suited for students due to the low up-front costs, the salary received at the end of the placement, and the opportunity to travel in North America for about a month once finished working.

More information about this and all of BUNAC’s other work and volunteer programmes can be found at www.bunac. org.

DSU elections

VOTING FOR the DSU Sabbatical Elections 2009 is now open, writes Helen White. The positions available to vote for are President, Societies & Student Development Officer, Education & Welfare Officer, and DUCK Officer.

In 2008 Durham University achieved the 6th highest voting turnout in the country.

The DSU hopes that the university can do even better this year and encourages all students to get involved. The college that contributes the highest percentage of votes will be awarded a shield at the end of the year. You can vote online and Voting is open until 4.30pm on Friday 13th.

The results will be announced in Kingsgate Bar on Friday evening from 5pm.

Quality Student Accommodation up to in Durham City Centre

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A very popular student area exactly the same distance from the DSU as the hill colleges or the viaduct.

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All houses comply with the new

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All houses come supplied with: Burglar Alarm Fridge Microwave Gas central heating Separate living room

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Or look at www.hopeestates.com to browse the houses

C M Y K

Friday 13 February 2009 palatinate.org.uk

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Warnings over email scammers Jess Pauley STUDENTS HAVE BEEN receiving emails from a range of bogus companies offering large amounts of money for part time work. >>>In many instances, those receiving the email are instructed to set up a bank account and provide the information, including card issue numbers and security codes. The emails will often start with a common phrase such as ‘we saw your ad’ to imply that they have singled you out. It is common for such scammers to choose random companies and ‘take on their identities’. This may involve creating fake email addresses and even websites that at first glance look identical to that of the real company. >>>Ian Faircloth from the Durham Student

NAMES Panayiotis I.Kyriacou Hudson William Kimberk William Anderson Danny Victor Hagan Wayne Edmunds Mariosefth Richard Bernard Marios Efthymiou Andy Smith Mark Dennis Bishop Bruce

Employment Service wants to students aware of these scams and know how to avoid getting conned in this way. >>>It would appear that the emails are particularly aimed at those who won’t spot them, such as international students, who may not be familiar with employment practices, especially when those being instructed to set up a bank account and supply the account information. The emails are often very persuasive, sometimes even implying that they have done some research on you. >>>Mr Faircloth said: “we can’t stop them coming in because they are moving targets”. Therefore the Student Employment Service seeks to help by emailing warnings out to students, alerting the Government Office of Fair Trading of new scams, and even emailing the scammers to tell them that the university is aware of what

they are doing. >>>It is important to remember that reputable employers almost never send unsolicited offers of work by email – if you receive one of these you should forward them to the SES (ses@durham.ac.uk). >>>However, if you do receive something that you do think is genuine, always check that you know exactly who the employer is and check the details as far as possible. >>>Scammers often use fictitious addresses, postcodes and telephone numbers. You should check company websites and compare contact details with the contact details of the people offering work. Always be extremely suspicious of employers that ask you to set up accounts with specific banks and never let people take money from your account with the promise of later refunds. >>>Students have been urged to remem-

Names and companies to avoid

COMPANIES JHI Constantinou&Kyriacou Evaluation(s) Guide Offshore-Company.Org Healy Consultants Michael Loucas & Co Vanghood.co Privacy Solutions.com C&N Constantinou & Co Dinos Antoniou & Co Standard Companies Ltd. Zik Peter

Blast from the past Helen White SCIENTISTS FROM DURHAM University have revealed what the universe would have looked like 500 million years after the Big Bang took place. By using computer simulation technology, scientists from Durham University’s Institute for Computational Cosmology and Universidad Catolica in Santiago have produced images showing the “Cosmic Dawn.”

The Cosmic Dawn began as galaxies started to form over 13 billion years ago from the debris of massive stars which died shortly after the universe was formed.

The simulation showed how structures grow in dark matter, a mysterious substance which is thought to contribute 80 per cent to the mass in the universe. Gas experiences the pull of gravity from dark matter and is heated up before cooling by releasing radiation and turning into stars.

Gravity produced by dark matter is essential to galaxy formation and by studying its effects the scientists hope to find out more about the substance.

A model was also produced to show how normal matter, such as gas, behaves

whilst galaxies grow.

The scientists have predicted the location of these galaxies, how they are continuing to evolve and which galaxies are forming stars most vigorously. Although the galaxies are biggest at the present day, the rate at which new stars are being produced has dropped significantly compared with the rate during the universe’s earliest years.

Alvaro Orsi, a research postgraduate at Durham University and lead author of the study, said: “We are effectively looking back in time and by doing so we hope to learn how galaxies like our own were made and to understand more about dark matter. The presence of dark matter is the key to building galaxies – without dark matter we wouldn’t be here today.”

Co-author Dr Carlton Baugh, a Royal Society Research Fellow, said: “Our research predicts which galaxies are growing through the formation of stars at different times in the history of the Universe and how these relate to the dark matter.

We give the computer what we think is the recipe for galaxy formation and we see what is produced which is then tested against observations of real galaxies.”

PRESIDENT’S COLUMN

ANDY WELCH

I came into my office this morning to find eight boxes of roses waiting for me, before I could work out if they were from one very infatuated girl or eight fairly infatuated girls, Laura Mathews our lovely DUCK Manager came in and claimed them. It turned out that in an effort to capitalise on the disorganised boy friend market (its a big market!) DUCK will be selling them off in the lead up to Valentines Day. For those of you who do not know what DUCK does (where have you been?) I will give you a brief run down on them.

DUCK is a very successful part of

“I may have agreed to bungee jump from a high place...”

DSU; they fundraise for charitable causes local, nation and international. Some of the money they raise is “tied”, as in it is raised for a specific charity, like a rag raid for Cancer Research. While other money is “untied” and charities submit applications for grants from this money. Laura is the DUCK manager and one of the DSU sabbatical team with her there is also a large exec who head up the central DUCK actives like expeditions and rag raids. In every college there is a DUCK rep who leads fundraising actives in that college. At the end of the year the college that raises the most money (per head so it is fair for small colleges) gets the much coveted DUCK shield, in past years this shield has oscillated between Mildert and Trevs.

They have some excellent plans for DUCK week (14th – 20th February) including an Ann Summers party in Klute on Monday. A Stars in Their Eyes at DSU on Wednesday evening and a jazz and cocktails evening in castle on Saturday not to mention all the other stuff in colleges too! Meanwhile I have a nagging feeling that I may have agreed to bungee jump from a high place for them a couple of weeks ago.

Before I go, for those of you who missed it, the referendum on boycotting Israeli goods at DSU was defeated 726 votes to 525.

Increase in student ‘allnighters’ Zoe Griffiths THE ‘ALL NIGHTER’- we’ve all done it and recent research suggests as students we are feeling an ever increasing necessity to. Staying up into the small hours to complete assignments and keep on top of the demands of university life has become almost expected.

Pamela Thatcher, a professor of psychology at St. Lawrence University, New York State, has conducted research investigating the causes and detrimental effects of sleep deprivation among students.

She looked at how the amount of pressure that students are under, contributes towards this ‘sleep abuse’. The pressure to succeed academically, to take part in extra-curricular activities, do work experience, as well as the financial pressure to take part-time jobs whilst studying, leaves students little time to worry about getting their 8-hours a night.

With the constant pressures of preparing for post-university life; internships, leadership positions and voluntary work, seem expected to decorate our fledgling CV’s, students.

involved’ and simply having fun, requires more hours in the day than we’re given.

However, Thatcher’s study has shown that advocates of the sleep-less-do-more lifestyle may in fact be doing themselves more harm than good; she claims they had ‘lower grade-point averages than those who got enough sleep’ as they were ‘less able to cognitively cope’ with the level of the work.

Lack of sleep also increases the likelihood of suffering from stress or illness, from which the academic set backs can be extensive.

As a result of Thatcher’s study, one university in the States ran a ‘Come to Bed’ campaign. Up to 250 students retreated to one of the university buildings, where a world of virtual fireplaces and sleep-inducing noises was created to aid sleeping.

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IN FOCUS

Unravelling the mystery behind university admissions... >> We’ve all heard the accusations of prejudice in university admissions - but can we believe what we hear? >> Palatinate investigates the truth behind the claims...

Durham UG prospectus

MANY STUDENTS ACROSS the country submitting university applications from September 2007 were surprised (and perhaps a little taken aback), upon being asked whether or not their parents received a university education. Although disclosing this information was optional, students were left wondering as to what bearing this sort of information would have upon their pending application. >>>Pressure on top universities from the current Labour government to “socially engineer” undergraduate intakes to increase the number of students from poorer backgrounds, led Durham University to announce “urgent” action to raise the proportion of students from “lower social classes” within its population. >>>A whole range of measures have reportedly been used within different universities to increase social diversity, even including a highly advanced points system to distinguish those students that had been poorly taught whilst at school. This has led to accusations that universities are filtering out students from the “middle class”. But what stance does Durham University take on this? >>>Professor Anthony Forster, Pro-ViceChancellor for Learning and Teaching, said in a statement to Palatinate: “The University values the benefits that come from a diverse student population and we are seeking to achieve this through our revised undergraduate admissions policy which was approved by Senate last year.” >>>The Senate is “the supreme governing body of the University in all academic matters” and has the specific responsibility to regulate “the admission of persons to courses of study”. >>>Professor Forster went on to say that “unlike many universities, we use academic staff based in our departments to make admissions decisions and have invested in professional training to support this particular approach. We aim to select students who can best

Benchmarks set for future intake of year one state school undergraduates: 2009/2010: 61% 2010/2011: 61.5% 2011/2012: 62% 2012/2013: 62.5% benefit from the unique experience that Durham offers and can contribute most to University life, irrespective of their background. All applicants are judged on the basis of merit and potential.” >>>It is possible to view this revised admissions policy online. It specifically states that “Durham University is interested in recruiting students able to develop both academically and personally within an environment that is attractive to and supportive of an increasingly diverse and international student population.” >>>It would still seem from reading this statement that it is a seemingly impossible task to distinguish between applicants on ‘personal development potential’, leaving the possibility for other factors to be considered that have not been explicitly stated. >>>The proportion of state school/private school educated students currently studying at Durham (academic year 2008/2009) is 62% and 38% respectively.

This is higher than in Cambridge where 59% of the student population was previously taught in state funded education. More specifically, in St John’s College and Trinity College, only 38% of students are from state schools. >>>Durham University has set benchmarks for the future intake of

year one state school undergraduate admissions starting at 61% for 2009 and increasing half a percentage point per year up to 62.5% for the 2012 intake. >>> Durham’s vice-chancellor, Chris Higgins, said: “The proportion of applicants from the state sector is declining each year . . . we need to take action urgently.”

This would involve the use of “sharper tools” to attract state school applicants.

Already, candidates with high GCSE grades are treated more favourably if they attend poor schools. Such measures may now be extended, according to an article in the Times in January.

In June 2008, universities were told that they could adopt controversial admissions procedures to make lower offers to pupils from struggling state schools because they show ‘greater potential’ than applicants that have been intensively tutored at private schools.

However, Anthony Forster confirmed that “our [Durham] admissions policy does

not involve any social engineering or the implementation of quotas according to applicant background (such as school type), nor does it involve making lower offers to applicants according to the type of school they have attended.”

Instead, the University provides a range of outreach activities including Durham’s Institute for Particle Physics Phenomenology’s sixth form specialist talks on particle physics. In recent years, they have also established an annual master class for local schoolchildren. Durham also has one of the most generous bursary schemes in the UK for students from lower income backgrounds. This is to attract more applicants to the univeristy from different backgrounds, rather than giving certain applicants preferential treatment. >>>Carolyn Fowler, acting registrar at the university said that the falling number of state school applicants could be because the university is ‘incredibly competitive’ to get into and therefore some may believe

BURSTING THE BUBBLE

that it is easier to get in somewhere else. >>>The main problem at this point would seem to surround the fine line between assessing potential and merit and adhering to set benchmarks for the state sector. Particularly after the confirmation from Anthony Forster that there is “no implementation of quotas”. >>>Palatinate was able to direct this question at the relevent univeristy department, but unfortunately the response given was not very specific. It merely reinforced previous information that had been disclosed including vague details of the new strategy aimed at increasing the number of applications from the ‘brightest and best students who do not currently apply to Durham University’. >>>Market analyst firm Caci found just last week, in a study published in The Guardian, that children from the most affluent quarter of families account for a total of 55% of students at top universities. The Conservatives and Liberal Democrats claimed that the study was evidence that the current Labour government had failed to improve social mobility. David Willets, the Tory Shadow Universities Minister, said that the data was ‘hard evidence’ that Labour had ‘failed to widen educational opportunities for people in low income households’.

Whether Labour have failed or not, everyone should be given equal opportunties when it comes to applying for undergraduate positions at university. It cannot be disputed that the job of assessing applicants based on merit and potential is a very difficult task, coming under criticism by some for being too subjective.

Fortunately Durham University does have extensive guidelines and systems in place which are reviewed on a regular basis to ensure that the best students are given the places that they deserve.

Reporting by Jess Pauley

by Ursula Hankinson

771 Driving Tests

Valentine Underwear Protest

Closest Abba Fan

Atlantic Swim

A South Korean woman has failed her written driving test 771 times. The 68 grandmother, who sells food and household items door to door in the city of Jeonju, has repeatedly failed the test since April 2005. She failed the exam again last week, but says she is determined to keep trying. She needs to score over 60 out of 100 in order to pass and be allowed to take the practical test, but has so far achieved scores between 30 and 50. It is estimated that she has spent £2 000 to take the tests.

A facebook group, the Consortium of Pubgoing, Loose and Forward Women, has been set up by Indians outraged at an attack on women for drinking in a bar. The group plans to send a gift of pink women’s underwear to the right-wing activist group Ram Sena on Valentines day. Ram Sena was blamed for a bar attack in Mangalore last month, in which women in bars were attacked by members of the group, outraging many Indians. The Consortium hope that the 500 pairs of pants they plan to send will send out the message that this behavior is unacceptable.

Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin has denied having the Abba Tribute band Bjorn Again perform a private concert for him, despite claims to the contrary by the band itself. The band claim they were paid £20 000 by the Kremlin to play the gig 200 miles north of Moscow in January.

According to band members Putin enjoyed the 15 song performance, dancing along to Mamma Mia and Super Trouper, along with his seven guests. Putin’s spokesman denies the claim, perhaps in an attempt to maintain Putin’s menacing image.

A 56 year old American has become the first women to swim the Atlantic Ocean.

Jennifer Figge took 24 days to swim from the Cape Verde islands off Africa to Trinidad. She swam in a cage to protect her from sharks, although she says she did not see any, only dolphins, and would swim for 8 hours at a time before returning to a boat to rest. She had planned to swim to the Bahamas, but was blown off course to Trinidad. She now plans to go on to the British Virgin Islands. Ten years ago the first person to swim the Atlantic, Benoit Lecomte from France, completed the 4 000 mile swim in 73 days.

C M Y K

Got a News Features idea? news@palatinate.org.uk

Friday 13 February 2009 palatinate.org.uk

IN FOCUS

7

IN FOCUS

Entrepre - what?

ENTREPRENEURSHIP IS A term we see in advertising and academia all the time, but does anyone actually know what it means? A quick search on the Internet reveals that The Times define an entrepreneur, quite broadly, as “someone that creates a new business.”

Wikianswers takes a slightly different approach, stating “an entrepreneur is a truly unique individual.” After further browsing, it quickly becomes apparent that the definition of an entrepreneur is ambiguous and still open for debate.

“An innovative, driven opportunity-seeker who utilises his or her network to sieze those opportunities”

>>>When creating leaflets to promote

the Durham Entrepreneur society at the refreshers fair, the society tried to create a wider, more generalised definition : “An innovative, driven opportunity seeker who utilizes his or her network to seize those opportunities; sometimes for business purposes and sometimes not.” >>>While entrepreneurship is closely linked with business, it is important to note that being an entrepreneur is not necessarily about setting up a company.

The skills associated with an entrepreneur are essential to pursuing any career and throughout life. In general, it can be thought of as being proactive and thoughtful about where it is that you are heading. With this in mind, most people could quite easily be thought of as being entrepreneurial, >>>Durham has a wide range of support available to anyone who would like to develop their entrepreneurial abilities.

The Centre for Entrepreneurial Learning (CfEL), set up in October 2007, was created to promote and co-ordinate learning within Durham University. Their Swisscan

objective is to facilitate entrepreneurial behaviour amongst students, staff, alumni and a range of external stakeholders. >>>The Centre works not only with those thinking of starting a business, but also with, for example, the archaeologist whose goal is to make a living from being an archaeologist, the doctoral student in English who does not want to be limited by options in that field, the student who hopes to bring about social or organisational change within larger organisations and all those who would like to develop their career. >>>The CfEL offers many types of support, notably workshops to improve creativity, networking, idea generation, planning and enterprise awareness.

They also hold exhibitions, conferences and presentations. Recently they have integrated an award winning on-line support system which includes access to a comprehensive enterprise library. >>>Dinah Bennett is the Director of the Centre and is responsible for the strategic development of entrepreneurship education within the university. Dinah researches and teaches regionally, nationally and internationally on marketing related issues and the concept of Networking and Relationship Management in relation to successful Business Development. The wide range of facilities being provided by the CfEl are all highly commendable. >>>However, Durham needs a regular ‘entrepreneurial hub’ to ensure that it reaches students throughout the university. >>>Consequently, Danny King, Esther Dingley, Daniel Colegate and myself are founding the Entrepreneur’s Society within the university. The society’s mission is to encourage and support student entrepreneurship by providing inspiration, education, networking and the chance to learn skills needed for business success. We aim to achieve

Centre for Entrepreneurial Learning

>> Alan Heppenstall clears up the confusion surrounding the much used word “entrepreneurship” and how Durham students can take advantage of the endless possibilities available to develop their skills

this by holding networking events so entrepreneurial students can meet each other and by inviting guest speakers who can share their experiences, both positive and negative. Additionally, the society hopes to integrate with the local business community and create links between students and people from outside the university. Workshops, assisted by the CfEL, will be held to offer students the opportunity to develop skills relating to business, innovation and networking. >>>The society would like to encourage all students to get involved in as many ways as possible. Planned ‘Apprentice’ style challenges will be held to give students the chance to test their abilities, A ‘Dragons Den’ competition will also allow members to pitch their ideas to prominent members of the local business community. >>>So if you’re a budding entrepreneur, or just interested in finding out whether you are, sign up to the mailing list at http://desoc.notlong.com and come along to the society’s events.

Durham Entrepreneur Society If you would like to come to an event, apply for an exec position, or simply get on the mailing list, visit our temporary sign up form at: http://desoc.notlog. com Email us: durhamentrepreneurs@gmail.com

The Centre for Entrepreneurial Learning “In an increasingly turbulent and dynamic world,

life is becoming more complex and uncertain.

Enterprise Education is seen more and more as a way of helping individuals prepare for, and cope with, this uncertainty and thus enable organisations and communities flourish in the new economy”

If you would like more information on the CfEL or would like to enquire about how they can help you, email: entrepreneurial. learning@durham.ac.uk.

Durham:

Stockton:

Upcoming event: “Graduates for growth forum”

Centre for Entrepreneurial Learning Mill Hill Lane Durham DH1 3LB

Holliday Building, Stockton Campus Room 103C

4th March, 12.00 - 14.30 at Durham Business School

Opening Hours: Monday – Friday 9am – 5pm Tel: 0191 334 5143

Opening Hours: Thursday and Friday, 10 am - 1 pm.

Tel: 0191 3340790

Focussing attention on the need to retain graduates as a means of helping the region’s economic growth.

This is an informal network of practitioners, policy makers and academics who have a shared interest in this issue.

C M Y K

Friday 13 February 2009 palatinate.org.uk

Got something to discuss? editor@palatinate.org.uk

EDITORIAL 9

EDITORIAL

PALATINATE ISSUE 704 | FRIDAY 13TH FEBRUARY, 2009

VACANCIES

The balancing act

Want to get involved with Palatinate on a more in-depth level? The following vacancies might be of interest.

Applications should be e-mailed to the editor, at editor@ palatinate.org.uk, no later than 18th February.

A

STAGE EDITOR

PERENNIALLY-LEVELLED criticism of Palatinate is that the newspaper is too “safe” a student publication; too cautious, conservative and middle-of-the-road. >>>Sometimes, such sentiments are relatively justified, at least judging by what ends up going to print.

Many an edition has sailed by in the past without eminating even a whiff of controversy. >>>The reasons for this, of course, are multitudinous. For one, Durham is a pretty uncontroversial sort of place; a place where flashers lurking around bridges are front page news. >>>For another, even when groundbreaking stories do emerge, Palatinate has historically all too often been hamstrung by its accountability to Durham Students’ Union, which, over the years, has seen countless investigations either modified beyond recognition or barred from publication altogether. >>>This second point is clearly an important one.

While Palatinate is theoretically wholly editorially independent of its benefactor, in practice every edition is screened for contentious content prior to going to print by two full-time Union employees.

>>>This is because, as a publication of Durham Students’ Union, any libelous or otherwise illegal material printed in Palatinate can potentially saddle the Union with virtually unlimited liability. >>>Yet this situation also gives rise to a blatant conflict of interest. Should an article chastise the Union or even make outright disparaging comments about it, the content in question could well find itself censored solely on the grounds of taste. >>>Or at least it could have done. In January, Palatinate gained constitutionally-recognised editorial independence for the first time. While the new constitution is by no means perfect (by any account), it does at the very least guarantee that content can effectively only be prohibited from being published should it be illegal. Be under no illusions about how difficult this provision was to secure. >>>So, is Palatinate going to start running hard-hitting reports about gangland murders, sex scandals and fraudsters? Well, yes and no. It is still the case that very little happpens in this quaint little city, which naturally poses one or two challenges to our staff. >>>But at least we can finally report the big stories.

Correspondence A Palatinate web discussion of last edition’s article, ‘DSU and Catholics’ >>>I notice that “What would God say to a Muslim?” was the title of one of the talks given by the DICCU in November 2004. No doubt that created controversy, too. >>>I have no objection to the DICCU giving such inflammatory talks, as long as they can back up their claims and allow their opposition a say. In short, as long as it is reasonably academic. >>>What I do object to, though, is their calling themselves a “Christian Union” while excluding the Church which makes up two thirds of Christians worldwide. They should call themselves the Protestant Union, or even the Evangelical Protestant Union (the DICEPU?); members of CathSoc, after all, may belief that their Church is the only legitimate Latinrite one, but do not call themselves the Christian Society Mark Harmstone >>>The whole purpose of the “Big Question” talks that DICCU hosts on Friday lunchtimes is to answer questions put by Durham students last year. It it the ultimate venture in openness - literally answering the questions people want to know about what Christians believe. >>>In this case, I am not aware of the DSU refusing to host a CathSoc response. I would have thought, though, that the onus is not on DICCU to provide a platform for it. >>>As for the name - Christians of all flavours have decided to identify themselves in various ways; which is only natural. DICCU chooses to define “Christian” as “Bible-believing”, which, again, is not at all unreasonable. As you will have discovered at the talk on Roman Catholicism, that DICCU uses such a defnition is no secret.

Ali Gledhill >>>I must confess to be rather confused by Mr Gledhill’s comment. Is he alleging that catholics do not believe in the bible? If so, I was horribly mislead for the entire thirteen years that I attended catholic school. It also makes the many hours we spent studying the bible seem rather pointless!

Clare Nicholl >>>As the speaker at the event, I would like to just point out a few things. I know these won’t deal with all of the wider issues being discussed but I feel they are important:

>>>1. ‘The intention of [the talk] was to explain why Catholics are going to Hell’ That is a very inflammatory and extremely inaccurate reading of my talk. I never once made this statement - please check the audio recording on the DICCU website. >>>2. On questions - it was not a case of me just taking the questions I liked. There was a 45 minute open question time afterwards where around 100 people stayed behind and I took questions from the floor. This was very open and Catholics had plenty of chances to grill me and express their disagreement.

Again PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make sure you have your facts right before you make these sorts of sweeping comments on public posts like this. You article is simply not true at important points and given that antyone who goes to the DICCU website will see my name I feel it is very unfair that you should protray me in this way. >>>3. A number of Catholics came up to me afterwards to say that they thought that my analsysis of Catholicism was accurate but that they disagreed with my interpretation of the Bible. They thanked me for the gracious way I handled the issue. I feel this was a constructive exploration of the differences between Catholicism and Protestantism. I stressed twice in the talk and at least once in question time that Catholics and Protestants are to be nothing but gracious, kind and loving to one another. We have serious differences that prevent any kind of offcial union and I was very clear on what those differences are and why they matter, but in no way was I urging anything but respect and consideration for Catholics. Surely, tolerance means being able to discuss our differnces and live together. In my talk I quoted the late Cardinal Avery Dulles - a prominent RC theologian who made the point that what unites Catholics and Protestants is an understanding that truth matters. >>>4. Your conclusion was very difficult for me to read. I did not preach ‘against’ a section of the student body; I DID provide opportunity for open debate and crticism; it was not an ‘anti-Catholic’ sermon. I would be very grateful if you could quickly address the way you have misrepresented me. I feel you have been very very unfair in how you have represented me and my talk.

Peter Orr See palatinate.org.uk/comment for more. Submit letters/responses to letters@palatinate.org.uk

Theatre fanatic? Comedy fan? Able to write verbose and descriptive prose? Contacts or experience within the Durham stage scene and/or beyond?

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editor@palatinate.org.uk

EDITOR: James F. Thompson DEPUTY EDITOR: Laura Pennington INDIGO EDITOR: Daniel Bjelis NEWS EDITOR: Jess Pauley DEPUTY NEWS EDITOR: Helen White COMMENT EDITOR: Chris Wright DEPUTY COMMENT EDITOR: (Vacant) SPORT EDITOR: Rajvir Rai DEPUTY SPORT EDITOR: Simon Lamb CHIEF LIFESTYLE EDITOR: Dipal Acharya BEAUTY AND FASHION EDITOR: Dipal Achraya FEATURE EDITOR: Francesca Teoh FOOD EDITOR: Fiona Hicks INTERVIEW EDITOR: Charlie Booth TRAVEL EDITORS: Emily Purser and Maz Farookhi CHIEF ARTS EDITOR: (Vacant) BOOKS EDITOR: Emma Ashru Jones FILM AND TV EDITOR: Poppy Macleod MUSIC EDITOR: Dan Bjelis STAGE EDITOR: Robert Bownes LISTINGS EDITOR: Alison Moulds ILLUSTRATIONS CO-ORDINATER: Susannah Taylor PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR: Max Waldron PHOTOGRAPHERS: Adam Richards, Andrew Adams, Jonathan Allen, Alastair Barber, Katie Ford, Elizabeth Fung, Alex Howell, Ieuan Jenkins, James King, Mark Lovell, Ben Morfoot, Marc Pritchard, Lorna Urwin, Alexandra Wilson CHIEF SUB-EDITOR: Liza Miller SUB-EDITORS: Matt Hopkins, Ivan Au, Louise Quarmby, Frances Main, Rupert Bright, Georgie McCluskey, Charlotte Armstrong, James Arnoldi ONLINE EDITORS: Mike David Smith, Ali Gledhill

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10

THE BIG PICTURE

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Friday 13 February 2009 palatinate.org.uk

Friday 13 February 2009 palatinate.org.uk

Got a great photo? photography@palatinate.org.uk

THE BIG PICTURE 11

C M Y

THE BIG PICTURE

K

7 February, 2009 Trevs Unplugged, Trevelyan College

Photograph by Jonathan Alllen

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12

COMMENT

Got an opinion? comment@palatinate.org.uk

Friday 13 February 2009 palatinate.org.uk

COMMENT Comment Editorial

W

e appreciate the Vice-Chancellor taking time to respond to our news cycle. We also appreciate his noble Voltairean insistence that the university should not interfere with the content of Palatinate, regardless of how much it might disapprove of our news values.

But it remains unclear from Prof.

Higgins’s article what exactly there was to be sniffed at about the news story in question. In the Christmas edition of last term, we revealed that an academic event entitled ‘Iranian Theocracy and Democracy: Contradiction or Convergence?’ would be sponsored by the Iranian government. And so it was. The truth of the matter is not in dispute, merely whether to publish this information was to imply an unreasonable question.

The question is simply this: Is it likely that the Iranian government would involve itself in a forum on the subject of its own political system if it expected that forum to ferment ideas dissenting significantly from the government line? If not, does this undermine the academic worth of such an event? These questions could be asked about any government funding academic events about themselves, but it would be strange not to notice that Iran is a country with a poor human rights record, with substantial government involvement in the media and with harsh treatment of dissidents.

Additially, there are two aspects of the story which remain unexplored either by Prof. Higgins’ article or by Dr. Reza Molavi’s official statement last December. The first is the implication of the Islamic Republic News Agency press release we quoted, from which it is evident that the fact that Durham is hosting this event was used in Iran as propaganda for the government. Do we want it to be said of our university that, in however small a way, we acquiesced in the machinations of conservative forces within Iran? This in the run up to an election in which, fingers crossed, the reform candidate Khatami will defeat Channel 4’s darling, Ahmadinejad.

The second is the fact that the listings for the event on the university website did not give any full sense of the subject matter. Only the first lecture of several, Prof. Melville’s on the Persian poet Ferdowsi, was included on the listings. To note this is not to impugn the motives of the compiler, but merely to request that in future - if it is firmly the university’s view that it is kosher for the Iranian theocracy to sponsor Durham academic events about Iranian theocracy - that the nature of such events be made clear in the listings.

It’s not exactly Watergate, we admit. But to have raised such questions is a not a bad day’s work for an amateur student rag. It’s just a pity our Vice-Chancellor appears to disagree: perhaps he would like to run Palatinate in his spare time?

Matt Richardson

I

t is strange, the feelings some people provoke in you. Perhaps admiration for a glimpse of President Obama, worry over the craggy contours of Gordon Brown, a slight nose-wrinkling aversion to the oiled and oranged visage of Dale Winton.

And then there’s Carol Thatcher: a being whose presence on this earth inspires such ire that words quite simply fail me.

Not content with sweating it out in the bosky bug-fest of the I’m a Non-Celebrity…Get Me in Here, the offspring of the Iron Lady’s fatal loins has created another tricky situation for herself, one unable to be wriggled out of through fortitude, girning or a steady stream of imprecations.

The story all began – according to the faceless minions of the rumour mill – backstage after the BBC’s The One Show. Good old Carol had done her gig as a roving reporter, was tanked up on a couple of glasses of plonk and descanting on her usual conversational topics – how’s Mum etc. – when somehow or other she happened to mention the word ‘golliwog’.

Witnesses to this ill-advised choice of vocabulary were the presenter of the programme, Adrian Chiles, that model of clean-tongued respectability, Jo Brand, a senior Comic Relief charity worker and an assorted assemblage of journalists. As soon as the offending remark left Thatcher’s lips Jo Brand apparently pounced and so began the BBC’s songs of sanctimony that culminated in her hasty removal from the show.

According to her spokesman Thatcher “never intended any racist comment”. Carol merely “made a light aside about this” – as-yetunnamed – “tennis player and his

Let private errors pass Even children of Thatcher should not be hounded

similarity to the golliwog on the jam pot when she was growing up”. It was just Carol being Carol: forthright, unflinching and thoughtlessly offensive.

However, in true Thatcherite form, the issue has sparked a veritable inferno of debate with logs being thrown in by either side. Unsurprisingly, conspiracy theories have already started emanating from Maggie’s fan club. Lord Tebbit thinks it “is probably a bit of a way for the BBC to get back at Carol’s mother”, the corporation finally displaying its long-suspected radical left-wing stripes. Similarly Boris Johnson has expressed his disapproval, while even Will Young has jumped on the bandwagon: “Carol Thatcher used the word in a private conversation, they panicked,” pontificated the Pop Idol winner recently on Question Time. “I worry because everything is becoming a bit vanilla.”

Well in true vanillary form, the BBC One controller, Jay Hunt, rebutted soon after, arguing that despite giving “Carol ample time to apologize for offence that was caused to key named individuals” no apology emerged. If only Carol had done the dignified thing, genuflected before the wrath of the ‘outraged’ PC masses and promised in penitential tones to keep schtum forevermore, then The One Show would have welcomed her back with open arms.

But aside from the conspiracy theories and the lack of grovelling, ‘Thatcher-gate’ raises a serious issue. Can there now be said to be no divide between public and private life? Are the confines of the green room, staff canteen and gentleman’s club fit territory for the hounds of standards to roam?

Fair enough if Thatcher had taken to the screens liveried in promo gear for the BNP, done her piece running round twittering on about the threat of immigration and finished by screaming out racist slogans to millions of startled viewers. But her remark was made behind closed doors in an informal setting with the lubricating company of a couple of bottles of wine.

This recent debate brings back the same old questions raised by the furore over the poet Philip Larkin in the nineties. A biography came out detailing Larkin’s various oddities: his closet racism, his proclivity for fleshy mags and myriad evidence for his position as one of the all-time screwed-up guys.

“Philip Larkin was obsessed with porn and a closet racist.

But he was also a great poet.”

But his poetry was brilliant.

The PC brigade could pick apart his personal life and quickly try to re-evaluate his position as a ‘minor’ wordsmith, but in reality could never expunge the enormity of his talent. Fundamentally, he might have had his own behind-the-scenes problems, but on the page he was unbeatable. He wasn’t going to get sacked from his job or barred entry into the canon just because of these flaws.

Now Carol Thatcher obviously isn’t banging down the door of the

literary canon or even going to be a recognisable loss to the TV world.

But if anybody can be summarily dismissed from their positions on the basis of one alcohol-inspired slip then I imagine every CEO might start looking warily at the wine during their corporate dinners or swear their entire staff team to a loyal silence before daring to open their mouths.

Similarly, Adrian Chiles might be the cheeky chappy onscreen, but my guess is there are a few skeletons in his confabulatory closet, while Jo Brand is infamous for her scatological and boundary-pushing act, some of which might look less than spotless when examined under in the remorseless gaze of the PC posse.

And then there’s the actual word.

Is it the Freudian slip that reveals the inner bigot within the Thatcher breast? Or to add even more kindling to the fire, could it be atavistic: an inherited, unthinking prejudice Carol copied from her mother, another pungent insight into the real brain of the lacquered Baroness? Or, to return to the plateau of actual possibility, isn’t it more likely just to have been a silly mistake by a garrulous and ditsy woman who meant little harm and was just too stubborn to bend the knee in apology?

Obviously, there is no defence for racism. But if everybody now has to adopt this holier-than-thou attitude, no conscious being is safe.

And, as much as it pains me to say it, Will Young was right: if said behind closed doors, it should remain behind closed doors. Because if a spotless private life is the mandatory requirement for public, unelected jobs then it is more than likely that every head at the BBC will have to roll.

C M Y K

Friday 13 February 2009 palatinate.org.uk

Got an opinion? comment@palatinate.org.uk

COMMENT 13

COMMENT

I

t is that time of year again. As you are probably aware, next week the DSU plays host to a series of events from the Durham Inter-Collegiate Christian Union, DICCU, inviting us to consider the claims of Jesus. >>>What is less well known is that this week of events is one of hundreds occurring at universities across the country at around this time of year. DICCU is part of a global student evangelical movement, originating in the International Fellowship of Evangelical Students, founded in Oxford in the 1930s, with a UK branch that is a network for student evangelism in the UK. >>>Along with SAUCU, UMCU, OICCU, CICCU and all the other beautiful acronyms, the Durham branch will be distributing free copies of the gospel of Mark, repackaged in an “accessible and contemporary-looking” form, “ideal for both personal evangelism and large-scale events”.

This booklet declares that the true, eye-witness account of Jesus is “a secret they’ve tried to silence.” >>>They, presumably, are the godless establishment, the secular forces in history which have conspired against our only chance for moral purity and eternal life. Often in Christian history they have been the

and imperialism was that the peoples of the earth were different species, and so European men need not treat others as equals. Darwin’s theory entails a universalism about human nature that has the social benefit of smashing parochial excuses for racism. >>>A century and a half later, we find ourselves amid a resurgence of religious fundamentalism, which brings with it both the threat of theocracy and the division of peoples by religious identity. I simply did not expect to come to university and see hundreds of students listening to talks explaining, in the nicest possible tone, that Hell is a real place where you go if you do not put faith in Jesus. >>>This evening, the Union Society will be hosting a debate on whether ‘intelligent design’ should be taught in science classes, and it is frankly shocking that there are three academics in the world willing to argue that it should. >>>It’s not faith in God or hope for an afterlife that’s problematic, nor is it a love and respect for religious traditions and ideas. It is fundamentalism: it is the mentality of those who are certain not only that God exists, but that through the reading of Holy

texts we have access to His mind and His plan for us. So far this year, DICCU talks have told us (as usual, with immense and admirable friendliness) that God hates homosexuality and that Catholicism is not a route to salvation. >>>This does not make DICCU members equivalent to homophobics or anti-Catholic bigots: it makes them gentle and kind individuals who appear to be convinced that it is their job to inform us that we are damned unless we come to believe what nobody could possibly know. >>>The central epistemological weakness of this self-confidence comes in addition to its social poison. DICCU claim to know through historical revelation where salvation lies. The same method is open to

any other group who have a similarly grandiose claim. As soon as religion enters politics, this difficulty becomes disastrous. >>>The Baha’i in Iran believe that a nineteenth century figure added to the revelation of the Koran, for which heresy they have been subject to mob justice and executions by the Shi’a theocratic government. The Baha’i are roughly equivalent to Mormons in America, with the important difference that in America secularism is enshrined in the constitution.

No sensible person could want Mitt Romney to be President of the US, but that he should not be barred from running because of his faith is unquestionable. >>>Every day we should thank Heaven that we live in a society which does not give significant privilege to any revelation-based community. I don’t have any particular objection to DICCU being allowed to evangelise in our student union, though it would be nice if they ran forums of debate instead of explanatory talks. I just wish that celebration of Darwin, on his two hundredth anniversary this week, could be as prominent in our community of learning as evangelism is every year.

Cardinal Ratzinger’s humdinger The Catholic church should not tolerate Holocaust-denying bishops

The Myth of the Jewish World Conspiracy and the Protocols of the Elders of Zion, was made up by the Czarist police in order to blame the Jews for imaginary conspiracies and justify discriminations against them. Nevertheless, the Protocols had an astonishing diffusion throughout Europe, selling millions of copies in the first half of the twentieth century, and had been widely used to justify pogroms, persecutions and the ‘final solution’ in the concentration camps. >>>Although this book has (luckily) almost been forgotten in Europe, in some parts of the world it still enjoys wide circulation. For instance, the Hamas Charter affirms explicitly, in its Article 32, that the plans of the ‘Zionists’ are embodied in the Protocols of the Elders of Zion. The same document states that the ‘Zionists’ amassed huge wealth to fulfil their dreams, taking control of the “world media, news agencies, the press, publishing houses, broadcasting stations, and others”. Moreover, with their power they allegedly promoted several revolutions, among them the French in 1789 and the Russian in 1917. Furthermore, they were behind the colonial expansion of the Western powers, with the aim of spreading “corruption” worldwide.

Flickr ID: Eurodana

he decision of Pope Benedict XVI to lift the excommunication of the British bishop Richard Williamson, allowing him to full communion with the Catholic Church, appears remarkably surprising and sinister.

Bishop Williamson is a member of the Society of St. Pius X, an ultraconservative Catholic group which does not recognise the changes introduced by the Second Vatican Council (1962-1965) and has therefore been excommunicated by Pope John Paul II. One month ago, the bishop publicly declared that he does not believe in the existence of the gas chambers used by the Nazi regime to exterminate European Jews. >>>According to the bishop, “just” 300,000 Jews died in the concentration camps. Moreover, Williamson, who maintains that Jews are preparing the Anti-Christ throne in Jerusalem, endorsed officially the infamous Protocols of the Elders of Zion, a book popular in neo-Nazi circles. The Protocols, considered authentic by the bishop, are a notorious forgery, that allegedly reveal the plot of the Jewry to take control of the world.

This book, as Norman Cohn has abundantly demonstrated in his classic study Warrant for a genocide.

We should be celebrating Darwin, not listening to DICCU

Jews, and for some people they still are. I once visited a mosque’s exhibition on Islam, only to be accosted by one of the organisers for a discussion about God. When I brought evolution by natural selection into the argument, he told me with complete earnestness that Darwin was a Jew and so not to be trusted. >>>I don’t think this man was hateful: I think he was deluded. He had convinced himself that Islam was the answer to all his problems, that his god would free him from life.

The daily disappointment of the real world therefore required explanation, which led him to suppose that diabolical forces were at work against him and against his truth. As the Nazis might have put it, the ‘Jewish science’ of Marx, Freud and Einstein represents a threat to old certainties. >>>Darwin, of course, was neither Jewish nor an agent of Satan. He was a conscientious, humble genius who radically contributed to the history of ideas. According to a recent biography, that of Prof. James Moore and Prof. Adrian Desmond, Darwin was partly motivated to investigate the descent of man by his wish to demonstrate that all humans are essentially of one family. At the time, a common argument justifying slavery

Daniel Atzori

T

The case for secularism

MARK PRITCHARD

Chris Wright

They promoted the First World War to destroy the Islamic Caliphate, and the Second World War to make profit from the trade of armaments. >>>Both the League of Nations and the United Nations are considered

by Hamas creations of the ‘Zionists’.

An official representative of Hamas affirmed explicitly that the Holocaust never happened, a position shared by the President of Iran, Ahmadinejad, and by the leader of Hezbollah, Nasrallah. In contradiction with such a stance, a document released by Hamas’ Al Aqsa TV Station in 2008 affirmed that the Holocaust has actually been planned by David Ben Gurion, the first Prime Minister of Israel, in order to eliminate disabled

and handicapped Jews. >>>In such a context of a global rise in anti-Semitism, the decision of the Pope seems even more incomprehensible. The Vatican has been strongly criticised by the German Chancellor Angela Merkel and the French President Nicolas Sarkozy, who labelled Bishop Williamson’s Holocaust denial as “shocking”. Following the worldwide wave of criticism, the Vatican asked the British bishop to recant his positions if he wants to be fully rehabilitated. >>>However, the Church should be much more concerned about the wave of anti-Semitism spreading in several countries, including the Catholic ones. The tragic events of Gaza have been used to justify attacks against Jewish religious sites all over the world, and Europe is not an exception. Several episodes of anti-Semitism, mainly directed against synagogues, have indeed been reported. In January 2009 alone, incidents have occurred in Belgium, France, Greece, Italy, Lithuania, Netherlands, Slovenia, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland and the United Kingdom. The situation in Venezuela seems even more alarming. On 31st January, a synagogue in Caracas was assaulted by 15 armed

men who damaged the Torah scrolls and scrawled anti-Semitic graffiti on the walls. The Catholic Church has always been accused of not standing up against the persecutions carried out before and during the Second World War by Nazis and Fascists against the Jews. >>>Moreover, the Church justified for centuries various discriminations against what was considered the ‘deicide’ people. This stance seemed to have definitively come to an end after the Second Vatican Council: indeed, after that, the relationships between the Catholic Church and the Jews improved considerably. In particular, John Paul II is remembered for his dialogue with the Jews.

And it is not a coincidence that the only person explicitly mentioned in the testament of Pope John Paul II is Elio Toaff, then Rabbi of Rome. >>>Now more than ever, the great religions should fight against prejudice and ignorance, and promote dialogue and understanding. The mounting tide of anti-Semitism, but also of Islamophobia and all the other forms of discrimination, represent serious threats to the fundamental values our societies are based upon.

14 COMMENT

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Friday 13 February 2008 palatinate.org.uk

COMMENT James Crawford

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hen Gordon Brown used the jingoistic phrase “British jobs for British workers” in the 2007 Labour conference, it was merely a ‘dog whistle’ attempt to muster support for his regime. Meant to be a catchy soundbite, it has come back to haunt Brown in spectacular fashion. >>>These strikes are essentially concerned with the preference of foreign labour over a local workforce.

They symbolise a desire throughout the country for British workers to be employed within Britain, hypocritically ignoring the fact that, in real terms, more Britons are employed overseas than there are foreigners employed in Britain. >>>It is a worrying sign that ‘Protectionism’, an inward-looking economic approach more commonly associated with the Great Depression of the 1930s, has crept into the national psyche. >>>While the UK has traditionally been greatly attached to free trade, as it has suited us in the past, the current economic crisis and supposed failure of liberal capitalism could lead this to change. >>>However, it is not just in Britain that this change is happening.

T

The economic crash risks leading us back to economic nationalism

The ‘Buy American’ clauses in Mr Obama’s new $800 billion rescue package sends, according to The Economist, “a disastrous signal to the rest of the world.” Alongside this, India has recently banned the importing of all Chinese toys. >>>In France, Russia, Greece and Latvia there have been demonstrations against their governments handling of the financial crisis. Geer Haarde has been forced to resign as Prime Minister of Iceland. >>>While the practice of protectionism is generally seen as, in the words of Peter Mandelson, a “huge mistake”, it is the nationalistic element which accompanies it which makes it such a danger to existing governments. >>>The BNP has latched onto Brown’s phrase, telling voters that “when we say it, we mean it”. They have been active on the picket lines, handing out leaflets and canvassing support. >>>While UNITE, the union behind the strikers, insist that they are striking against discrimination against British workers, there is more than a faint whiff of xenophobia emanating from the whole affair. >>>Whether these strikes were

Andrew MacFarlane

here are few scarier things in a democracy than corruption at the highest levels of government, and thus it can be of no surprise that the revelation of four lords accepting money to alter legislation has again brought about calls to reform and even to abolish the House of Lords. >>>I’m not going to condone the actions of the Lords in question, but let us not be too hasty in instantly assuming every other lord is corrupt. >>>There is a reason, after all, for why lords retain their position: they have done great things for their country in their respective field. We hold great respect for them and assume they will vote in the best interests of the country. >>>There will naturally always be exceptions: the four members (and no doubt there are a few more) have broken the Lord’s Code of Conduct and I hope they are duly punished.

However, I want to concentrate on the benefits of the current bicameral system. >>>First, let us look at the structure of the Lords. The Conservative and Labour parties both have roughly the same number of lords (approximately 200). On top of this, there are a further 200 crossbenchers; they have no party affiliation and as a re-

The danger of protectionism started with a nationalistic agenda in mind or not, they have now become a focus for that kind of sentiment.

The strikes have grown to symbolise something far more important than they could ever have hoped to have been in themselves. >>>These extreme economic conditions threaten to lead to a world in which radical parties promising strong government can flourish, as shown after the great depression.

Nigel Farage, leader of UKIP, is suddenly receiving far more airtime than usual, while the BNP are increasing their number of representatives in local councils all the time. >>>The far right has an astonishing amount of support throughout continental Europe. In Switzerland, the far right is in government. In Austria, Belgium, Denmark, France and Italy, nationalist and anti-immigrant parties regularly receive more than 10% of the vote. In Norway it is 20%. >>>While it would be alarmist to say that the recession is inevitably turning us all into fascists, it is highly likely that the nation’s politics as a whole will lead increasingly to a demand for stronger government.

However, as regards “British jobs for British workers”, the British govern-

ment currently does not have the power to rectify the situation. >>>As a member of the EU, Britain necessarily accepts the principle of free movement of labour and hence is, legally, unable to back up Brown’s claim with any positive action. This is why it was such a foolish thing to say: he was making an impossible promise which could only play into his opponent’s hands, because it would be impossible for the UK to follow a protectionist economic program wihout breaking EU law. >>>While this might sound re-assuring, it gives rise and credence to those voices advocating withdrawal from the EU. While many commentators see this as a foolish course to take, it is a course likely to appeal to the common voters: they who have been ousted from their jobs at Lindsey by, in one striker’s words, “Eyeties and Portuguese”.

Suddenly these fringe parties are no longer embarassing blips on our political radar. The recession has changed them from political non-entities to factions which, while obviously still a long way from having any political sway, need to be taken seriously. It would be historically naive not to.

The virtues of the House of Lords Despite the scandal, the second chamber is good for our democracy sult do not face influence from party whips. In so many ways, the upper chamber is actually more democratic than the lower. >>>The Labour Party can win a vote in the Commons simply by pushing all of its members to vote with it; they hold a clear majority. Of course, some (very few) backbenchers do not always vote with the government, but any member who dreams of a ministerial position would be unwise to defy their whip. >>>Let us compare this with the Lords. Labour do not hold a majority and will never be able to win a vote with party support alone. This is the brilliance of the Lords: if the government wants to pass a law, they have to not only convince their own party lords (which is far harder to do than in the Commons), but also the crossbenchers - and even, if they are feeling adventurous, the Conservatives. >>>This is rational, democratic lawmaking. The Lords will only pass a law if they think it is in the best interests of the country; after all, what other reason would a crossbencher have to vote for a law? >>>But let us put this in a practical context. David Davis recently came up to Durham to champion civil liberties and to defy the government’s

attempts to increase pre-charge detention time limits to 42 days. >>>That was passed by the Commons, although only after Labour reached a deal with the Democratic Unionists. This truly is staggering; a political deal to change abortion legislature in Northern Ireland was made just so the government could win a vote that (in my humble opinion) was more of a political move than a rational, necessary law.

MPs might as well just forget their constituents; apparently party political deals in the Commons are more important today.

“Lords is separate and independent” >>>But as we all know, the law was never passed. The great House of Lords gave a crushing blow to the government by defeating the motion with a massive majority of 191. I’m not trying to suggest that this was the right outcome; this article isn’t about 42 days, but it clearly shows that the Lords is a separate and independent thinking body. >>>Quite a few of those who op-

posed the government were actually from the Labour party, most noticeably Lord Falconer, the former Lord Chancellor. Meanwhile, Lord Tebbit, the former Conservative Chairman, actually voted with the government, clearly defying David Cameron’s stance on the issue. >>>It also shows that party whips are effectively helpless to influence the Lords. They may have forced Labour and DUP MPs to tread the party line, but the Lords showed themselves to be impenetrable. >>>The reasons given for rejecting the law were all rational: it was unworkable, ineffective, unnecessary, and undemocratic. It wasn’t rejected for political point-scoring and the lords should be praised for it. >>>The lords, I hope, will always act like this. I hope party members continue to defy their party and that Crossbenchers remain a powerful and large body. Every time I have had the fortune to hear, or even meet a member of the Lords, I have always felt that they show clear intelligence and political understanding. >>>Yes, perhaps some laws should be changed to stop corruption, but the way that the Lords currently works is effective and powerful. I rue the day we ever change that.

C M Y K

Friday 13 February 2009 palatinate.org.uk

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COMMENT 15

COMMENT

O

nce upon a time, a group of students gathered in the Market Tavern to form St Cuthbert’s Society, a student-run association based on democracy and equality. Fast-forward to 2009 and we’ve all forgotten that “favour begets favour” – we’re just getting pissed. >>Don’t call us a college ‘cos we’re not, right. We’re the best, better than all the rest. But apart from a tight pack of loud-mouthed JCR exec, stirred into action when confronted over our excessive drinking games at formals, is St Cuthbert’s really different to any other college? >>>There is a small number of determined students who are anything but apathetic. They work damned hard with their e-mail newsletters, stash websites and organisation of events and activities. Cuth’s bar is arguably the most vibrant and successful student bar in Durham; our accommodation and social calendar are competitive with other colleges and we welcome one of the largest influxes of freshers each year (most of whom made open applications or were rejected from Hatfield – hence the ‘We Hate Hatfield’ song). We have the potential and the drive to be

>

tradition is so strong, they are sitting at home during the JCR meetings?

Where are these supporters of the society at elections? >>>Why did Cuth’s future President have no competition to the throne this year? 440 members and 200 wall posts: are we genuinely concerned about the future of our society or do we just want the freedom to drink as much as we want? >>>The one example I can give to sum up this hopeless situation is as follows: the SCR decided that enough was enough: boat races, students puking in the toilets (not just me), and embarrassing displays of loutish behaviour had to stop. Fair enough. A half-bottle of wine only.

Despite strong JCR opposition, the SCR overruled them, resulting in the JCR boycotting formals for almost the entire first term. >>>For a short while, students glorified in the boycott and the idea of ‘democracy’ – the first wave of Society empathy was stirring – until the staff organised a formal for 28th January and the tickets were sold out. The JCR stood stranded, without the support of its students, which rendered its boycott useless. We had risen up in the name of alcohol, and

tedly, we do all eat the same shit at the canteen but I doubt that aspect of centralisation will change anytime soon. So why, the more Cuth’s rots away from a dearth of student involvement, do the harder certain JCR members work to save it? >>>Here’s the twist – I do not want to re-name our Society. I am loyal and proud to be part of Cuth’s due to the experiences I’ve had and the friends I’ve made. I may have laughed once or twice during the JCR meeting. I am simply envious that our Society seems to be less organised, less structured and one step behind everyone else. The only thing that changed in the last year was the song, and it’s even worse this time around. >>>We need a more transparent JCR and to abolish this piss-taking attitude of humiliating enthusiastic students who want to become more active within the Society. I might have liked to hust for Environment Rep if I wasn’t so concerned that I’d be asked to take my trousers off.

All original jokes and fun times can be experienced at www.cuths. com by downloading the minutes of the JCR meeting.

we had failed, once again. >>>Something has to change. The hill colleges have impressive facilities: better stocked libraries, working gyms, active and varied Freshers’ Weeks, college plays, bops, balls and formals, and a healthy tradition of older students living in. Admit-

Can women have it all?

Feminism should recognise that priorities can be liberating

the future. >>>Instinctive feminism (or at the very least my collector’s edition Sex and the City boxset) should compel me to leap to an impassioned defence of the ‘freemale’. Really, I should be celebrating her as the 21st century’s answer to Greer, de Beauvoir et al. But much as I wince at the chauvinistic implications of the term itself (is being free and female so inconceivable?) I cannot help but guiltily question whether we have got our priorities right. Perhaps ‘having it all’ isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. >>>If so, it is a myth recklessly perpetuated by modern culture.

Our television screens glorify highachieving heroines such as Carrie Bradshaw and Ally McBeal who purport to revel in their singleton status yet spend their lives obsessing over finding ‘the one’. Carrie is eventually allowed the fairy-tale ending but reality is unlikely to prove as cushy. >>>Unfortunately, the glossy single dream doesn’t always translate to the real world: The Household Survey also shows that nearly a third of these single women will live alone by the time they reach retirement age whilst one in five will never have children. Whilst for some this might be the consequence of a positive

choice, for many it will just be the way life works out. For the unlucky, the dream will ultimately be revealed as a sham: insubstantial and unfulfilling. Being a ‘freemale’ is, it seems, a high risk strategy. >>>With a mountain of internship applications to complete and my 20th birthday looming, this issue is particularly resonant. The time has come for myself and my peers to decide what we want to do in life. The Alpha Female route is looking increasingly unappealing; yet we are encouraged to belittle those at the other end of the feminine spectrum who choose to embrace the traditional stay-athome route of confetti, cupcakes and Pampers. >>>Surely these shouldn’t be the only options available to young women? What if I don’t want to be a ‘Superwoman’ or a ‘Domestic Goddess’? What if I just want to be me?

What’s more, with each camp deeming the other’s version of femininity inadequate, it is hardly a display of female solidarity. In fact, modern women’s competitive struggle for the mantle of true womanhood is mutually destructive and reveals a lack of confidence in their respective lifestyle choices. Personally, I’m not convinced that any of them are

FLICKR ID: CAUCS

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We should live up to our noble motto: gratia gratam parit

counted among the best Durham colleges, so why is our unique studentrun Society the one which the majority of members did not originally choose to be a part of and, at the time when student debt is at an all-time high, where an astonishing amount of student apathy prevails? >>>I can think of a few reasons.

Thinking back to the JCR meeting a few weeks ago, where, for almost three hours, I became increasingly frustrated with immature laughs (“Describe your underwear” was one ‘question’ posed to a potential member of the finance committee) and Exec members challenging each other to take off their trousers (during the future President’s manifesto), and I wondered how these people could expect to be treated like adults when it came to negotiation. >>>I cannot imagine the Principle, Senior Tutor or even the Receptionist stripping off to win an election, yet we insist on embarrassing ourselves, acting like clowns and ultimately living up to our reputation. >>>”I would rather die than for Cuth’s to be renamed “St Cuthbert’s College”. I would like to ask the 440 members of this Facebook group why, if their empathy towards college

Amy Higgins

t is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in search of a fortune must be in want of a wife. And he can take his pick from a particularly bounteous supply of lucky ladies this Valentine’s Day, according to figures recently released by the Office of National Statistics. >>>The General Household Survey has found that the number of single women has more than doubled in the last three decades. 51% of women have never been married, double the figure recorded 30 years ago. Roughly a third of these women co-habit, but these relationships are often short-lived. Dubbed ‘freemales’ by the media, such women are eschewing marriage and children in favour of autonomy. >>>I am of this generation of women. We have been taught to believe that we can and should ‘have it all’: the first-class degree, the high flying career, the wardrobe of Manolo Blahniks and a wash-board stomach to boot. Anything less is a failure to realize our potential and a betrayal of the Feminist Revolution. We assume that the domestic idyll - the perfect man and the merry troupe of ultragifted, ridiculously well-balanced children - can be achieved effortlessly at some indeterminate point in

St Cuth’s needs to grow up

MARK PRITCHARD

Rachael Revesz

particularly liberated. >>>Take the example of Rachida Dati, the former French Minister for Justice who went back to work just 5 days after giving birth by Caesarean section. Dati cut an impressively trim and chic figure as she attended a cabinet meeting hours after leaving a clinic with her new daughter. Logically perhaps, she might have expected to be admired for her speedy and stylish return to work. >>>However hers was just as likely an act of compliance as one of courage; submissive behaviour rooted in the fear of not being taken seriously in a demanding and male-dominated workplace. She has also made a mockery of those working mothers who campaign for the right to maternity leave. Viewed in this light, Dati’s behaviour can hardly be seen as that of an emancipated woman. >>>The idea that female success is defined by a six figure salary and/or a family of Swiss Family Robinson proportions is bogus feminism. In attempting to assert our freedom and independence, we have imposed unrealistic expectations and narrow gender stereotypes. Categorising ourselves as ‘Career Girl’, ‘Earth Mother’, or both, will not help us to achieve our potential as individuals.

16 SPORT

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Friday 13 Febuary 2009 palatinate.org.uk

SPORT

Durham fencing edge into BUC’s last eight

A DAUNTING TASK lay ahead of the Durham Men’s First Team fencers this week in a home match against Leeds University, who had won 90% of their matches this season so far.

The Leeds side had two of their fencers in the top 12 at the BUSA Individual Event back in December; Ingvar Kratz, a German international fencer, placing 9th, and Tom Exeter ranking 11th in the Foil section.

Wednesday’s bout was vital in securing a place in the Championship quarter finals.

Sabrist Mike ‘Sanchez’ Evans-Jones, returning this week to fence again, said optimistically during warm-up that it was “a match we should win”, as he listened to an unusual mix of Eminem and High School Musical tunes to pump himself up for the game ahead.

The Foil team on Wednesday consisted of Richard Bradbury, Tom Miller, and Boya Wang. This round was punctuated with faults and equipment malfunctions, with the red and green lights on the box failing to come up on clear points.

Halfway through Bradbury’s third foil match, a forward attack and a swipe at his opponent’s sword resulted in it shattering into pieces across the hall, the main body of it hurtling towards our unsuspecting Palatinate camerawoman.

Compared to their last fixture against Edinburgh, there appeared to a greater fire and determination from the Durham fencers. Sweat and emotion was clearly visible on the faces of the fencers; this match was crucial from the outset.

JONATHAN ALLEN

Ally Bacon

Boya’s bouts were passionate and controlled, taking all 5 points above Leeds in the first round.

Both Bradbury and Tom Miller proved themselves again and again by battling back to regain lost ground.

Unluckily, the over-the-top aggression and brutality of the Leeds side, particularly from the “whirlwind” German international fencer, rendered the score 36-41 to Leeds.

Bradbury put his lack of pace, and thus the reason for this total, down to walking into a door hours beforehand and injuring his knee.

The Durham team were thus disheartened yet optimistic entering into the next round, the Epee.

The Epee contest was taken up by Toby Betenson, Nick Zissler and Tom Moorcroft, with Boya Wang in reserve. Tom opened the fencing with a thrilling 5-1 win over Leeds.

The Durham support became more energised as the red lights for Toby’s hits continued to appear. Zissler continued to keep Durham ahead of Leeds with a score of 8-7, and Moorcroft’s excellent forward attacks and solid counter-efforts kept the score even between the two sides.

Tom Exeter of Leeds also fenced in the Epee round, since they did not have enough men to fill the squad.

Again the rounds were brimming with ferocity, the referee asking the fencers politely “not to kill each other” towards the end.

The Leeds side proved to be superior regardless of the Durham Epeeists’ efforts.

The round ended 40-45. It was thus es-

sential for Durham to win more than 11 points in order to triumph, for if the contest was to end a draw, the Leeds side would be the victors, in terms of how many swords were won overall.

The final, pivotal round of the Sabre was contested by Mike ‘Sanchez’ EvansJones, Didier Nohlmans and Mike Turner.

Sanchez’s blizzard-like pace, in a round that was loaded with countless disputes over points, was particularly entertaining to watch.

Actually winning seemed increasingly realistic as more points were granted to the Durham side. It was up to the three fencers to remain cool-headed as the overall score became ever tighter.

It moved back and forth from 10 and 11 points between the two sides. Every single detail, every action, mattered.

It was up to Didier Nohlmans to seal the deal in the final round, much like the events of Durham’s last fixture against Edinburgh whereby the match was again settled by Didier in a similarly tight closing bout, finishing 43-33, 44-33, 45-34.

Finally, Diddier clenched victory - much to the anguish of the Leeds squad who had overconfidently assumed they had already sealed the win - with the rest of the Durham team eagerly jumping on Didier to celebrate their glory.

The final score was Durham: 122, Leeds: 120.

Next they face either Edinburgh or Birmingham away in the quarter finals of the Championship. Here’s hoping it’s another excellent victory.

C M Y K

Friday 13 February 2009 palatinate.org.uk

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SPORT 17

SPORT

Where now for lethargic England?

With the Six Nations in full swing, Simon Lamb asks “Can anyone stop Wales in their quest for back-to-back Grand Slams?”

J

OHNNY WILKINSON ONCE said, “I play with a fear of letting people down.

That’s what motivates me.” Nothing can be more true come early February each year as you represent your country in the RBS Six Nations. >>>It is testament to the popularity of this annual tournament that, during this time of unprecedented economic recession, the box office at Twickenham is still able to sell tickets to an adoring public at £80 each to watch England take on Italy. You may expect to pay those prices for a Grand Slam decider in Paris but to pay that to watch the relative minnows, fielding a flanker at scrum half, really does show what this tournament means to the rugby faithful.

to come to terms with being labelled the ‘favourites’ rather than their usual tag of ‘underdogs’ this tournament round. For 65 minutes they took a very poor Scotland side to the cleaners, scoring an impressive 4 tries and putting the game beyond doubt. However, when their stand-in skipper Martyn Williams was sin-binned they took their foot off the peddle a little, allowing Scotland a try and putting themselves under some unnecessary pressure for the final quarter.

“The Brian O’Driscoll of old”

“Favorites rather than their usual tag of underdogs” >>>Martin Johnson, the talismatic captain who led England to world domination in 2003, now finds himself coach of a lacklustre England team with serious questions beginning to be asked of it.

As captain Johnson use to tell the team, “Whatever you do, do it well”. This must have been misunderstood by players this weekend, as they put in a disappointing display against a weakened Italian side. It proved to be a poor weekend for English sport in general as the cricket team managed to self-destruct in the West Indies, getting bowled out for 51. >>>Many had hoped England would have ironed out the creases that became blindingly clear in the autumn, by laying down a marker on the opening weekend of the Six Nations. With Johnson choosing to pick a side purely to beat Italy, fielding Andy Goode at fly half, we were never really going to play without fear at a free-flowing New Zealand-esque pace. >>>Italy will be left rueing their missed opportunities as their Oxford-educated

coach, Nick Mallet, showed a distinct lack of brains in putting the ferocious flanker Mauro Bergamasco out of position at scrum half. Bergamasco then proceeded to play one of the worst halves of rugby in Six Nations history, gifting England three tries and in turn the match. This was made crystal clear by rugby pundit, Jonathon Davies who said, “Bergamasco’s performance was without doubt the worst international rugby performance I have ever seen”. >>>England went on to win 36-11, but they will need to improve significantly if they are to have any chance of upsetting the champions, Wales, in Cardiff. The England head coach seemed to be aware of this after the game saying, “The next place we go is Cardiff. It will be volatile and hostile and we need to improve”. However, having decided to ‘invigorate’ the side by bringing in Mike Tindall and Joe Worsley, I wouldn’t hold your breath. >>>Ex-New Zealand fly half, Andrew Mertens, almost perfectly summed up

French rugby when he said, “The French are predictably unpredictable”. Coaching France must be an absolute nightmare; it’s no wonder Bernard Laporte didn’t have any hair, and I imagine Marc Lievremont will soon be facing a similar fate. He must turn up at the matches, knowing that an entire rugby mad stadium is expecting a champagne performance, with no idea ‘which France’ is going to run onto the pitch. >>>One week they are beating the best team in world, New Zealand, in a World Cup quarter final on Welsh soil, then the next they are losing in Paris against a second rate England side. You can never write the French off as they undoubtedly, at times, play the best rugby but losing in Ireland has left them with an uphill struggle from here on.

Ireland have gone about their business very much out of the public eye. All the attention has been on the ‘unstoppable Welsh’, the ‘exciting french’ and the ‘wounded English’. With the Irish coming

into the tournament with talks of a rift in the changing room, a debacle over who should be captain, and on the back of poor performances in the autumn, no one expected much from the ‘Dark Horses’.

However, the Brian O’Driscoll of old came to the party at the weekend as he lead by example in a thrilling game of rugby at Croke Park, beating the French 30-21. Players and coaches alike always talk of how important the first match is, with a win giving you both confidence and momentum to carry you through the rest of the tournament. You only need to turn the clock back 12 months and see what Wales’ heroic second half performance at Twickenham did for their grand slam assault. The Irish are going to take some stopping after the Croke Park win and, whose to say that come 5.30pm on March 21st, we won’t be witnessing the Grand Slam decider against Wales? >>>I was lucky enough to watch the Grand Slam champions, Wales, take on Scotland at Murrayfield. The Welsh had

>>>Coach Warren Gatland didn’t seemed fazed though as he spoke after the game: “Fair play to Scotland, they played very well towards the end. But we got the result here, we can go home and recover and I’m just looking forward to next week now - bring on England”. >>>Scotland face the seriously hard task of beating a French team with a point to prove, whilst away from home if they want to head into the mini break without two defeats to their name. Wales’ dream of a third Grand Slam in four years is still alive; with the old enemy England coming to Cardiff, I think we are in for something special. >>>Many have tipped this to be one of the closest tournaments yet. The first weekend has done nothing to make one think differently with the tournament well and truly open. England currently sit on top of the pile, and Martin Johnson’s men will be intent on keeping it that way. However, I sadly doubt that it will remain the case with four more weekends of exciting rugby to come. You’re a braver man than me if you put a bet on this tournament because, like the French, the outcome is anything but predictable.

An Olympic hero returns Laura Pennington talks to Jonathan Edwards about his career, Durham and London 2012

S

PORTING HERO EDWARDS returned to Durham this January to add an honorary degree to his list of achievements. >>>Notably, his world record jump of 18.29 meters, set in 1995, is yet to be beaten. >>>Looking back over the past few years, Edwards could not believe how much he had achieved since leaving Durham University back in 1987 with a 2:1 in Physics. >>>“When I graduated in Durham in 1987 I had no idea I would go on to win an Olympic gold medal, to become a world record holder, to be involved in organising the London Olympics. It sort of just makes you reflect on how fortunate I have been, and what great opportunities I have had in my life, and what a great start I had here at Durham.” >>>He continued, “I certainly appreciated the opportunity to get a good education before embarking on my sporting career.

I think now with the way that things are going you can get a degree at the same time as embarking on a good sporting

“We’ve got some good facilities here, Durham is very strong on sport”

career. >>>“It’s this whole idea of a ‘dual career’, it’s always a good safety net – it’s a precarious position trusting in sport!” >>>Despite Edwards’ astounding athletics career, he did not become a full-time athlete until six yeas after he graduated, >>>“I was very much a regular under-

graduate - I wasn’t a leading sportsman then but I enjoyed athletics and that only really developed when I left Durham.” >>>Athletics around the UK is set to be on the up, while the North East seems to have fallen slightly behind, >>>“With the centres in Loughborough and Bath, and also in Birmingham, that’s where the majority of athletes are sitedthere are a few up here but it is perhaps not the hotbed of athletics that it once was which is a shame. >>>“I think when you look back at the likes of Gregory Foster and Mickey McCloud, Alex Bedding, Stevie Crab, and then more recently Chris Tomlinson, it would be nice to see that tradition continue. >>> “But you know these things have their ups and downs, we’ve got some good facilities here, Durham is very strong on sport.” >>>Edwards is now a member of the ‘London Organising Committee for the Olympic Games’, representing athletes in the run up to London 2012. >>>He was confident that the UK’s ath-

letes would achieve great things in 2012, >>>“There’s a lot of extra money gone into athletics and with 2012 coming up, I know UK athletics has got a number of very good sponsors, so I think this current crop of athletes have every opportunity to do well in 2012. >>>“It’s not easy, I think the sport of athletics is highly competitive. There’s over 200 countries taking part and in other sports there’s a lot less, so I think the challenge is great but I think they are well-funded and they’ll be fine for 2012.” >>>Plans for London 2012 have been going well so far and Edwards and the rest of the committee have big plans for it. >>>“I think being up in Durham makes you realise it’s a Games not just for London, but the whole of the UK. We are trying to make sure that the whole country can participate. >>>“That’s the main focus for me. We also want to leave a sporting legacy - no other Olympic Games has ever increased participation long-term in the country where it was hosted and that is something we really want and hope to do.”

18 SPORT

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Friday 13 February 2009 palatinate.org.uk

SPORT

Durham Ten battle hard THE DURHAM TENNIS 1st’s season came to an untimely end on Wednesday, writes Joe Collingwood.

Playing Nottingham 1st’s in the first round of the BUCS Championship meant progressing to the next stage was always going to be a tough task for captain Chris Littler and his team.

Nottingham’s four-man team boasted two players who have this year been playing on the British tour. In an encounter that produced epic rallies, stunning shots and superb fighting spirit, Durham did themselves proud against a team which had a little too much firepower.

The doubles’ rubbers produced two close matches that went right to the wire and finished with honours even.

The first pairing of James Whetton and Mike Herbert eventually lost 7-9, while Chris Littler and Mark Gregory produced a fine display to win 9-7 and pull Durham level.

However, it was in the singles matches that the standard of tennis was particularly impressive. Littler, in the number three slot, had raced to a 6-0, 2-0 lead when his opponent retired hurt, giving Durham a 3-1 lead overall, but the three other matches were far more closely fought.

Whetton and Herbert, playing one and two respectively, came up against much stronger opposition but refused to give in, making Nottingham work for every point.

Despite threatening to cause an upset, both eventually lost in straight sets. What was most heartening, however, were the performances of which both can be proud.

Gregory, playing at four, found himself embroiled in another close match but, as his teammates had done, ended up on the wrong end of the 6-4, 6-4 scoreline.

And so the season ended in a 7-3 defeat, but this result should not put a dampener on what has been a very successful season for Durham Men’s Tennis.

All three teams have finished in respectable positions in their leagues, and should be proud of their efforts.

This is an exciting time for Durham Tennis, and club captain Mark Gregory is optimistic about next season. “We’ve had a very successful year as a club and hopes are high for next season. We are definitely looking to improve on this year’s performance and push for promotion.

Hild Bede freshers rip form book to shock College Darts League FLICKR ID: KEVIN H.

SPORT IN BRIEF

Simon Lamb PEOPLE TALK OF famous battles that have taken place over history.

From the battle of ‘Rorke’s Drift’ to the famous 1966 World Cup Final at Wembley, you hear stories of people displaying the necessary fighting spirit which is required to upset the record books and win against all the odds.

This could not be more true of the events that took place on the evening of Monday 9th February 2009. The two Hild Bede darts teams took to the stage in the eagerly anticipated college derby, tipped by many as ‘David versus Goliath’. Top of the table

met bottom, experience met youth but men did not meet boys.

The Hild Bede ‘A’ team, captained

by Adam ‘third leg’ Killip, came up against the Hild Bede ‘Freshers’ team (better known as the ‘Seagullers’) led by their very own “Captain Fantastic”, Ben ‘Jaws’ Dickens. The ‘A’ team have lost only twice in their two years together, leaving them as defending champions and a side sitting very pretty at the top of the table.

The Seagullers boast no such record, recording their first win away at Grey College the other week, having only gained one point out of a possible 21 in the first half of the season.

The match could not have started worse for the young pretenders, as

‘Mctreble’ led by example for the ‘A’ team, placing pressure on the ‘Chucker’ and eventually overpowering him in a thrilling third leg. Surprisingly, the ‘Milkman’ then failed to deliver and the ‘Dawkinator’ was all at sea, leaving the Freshers 3-0 down with 5 to play. A win by the ‘Money’ gave them hope along with some vital confidence, with the Seagullers, quite heroically, going on to bring the scores to 4-3 down with the captain’s leg to go.

Like any good derby match, the tension was almost unbearable with the ‘A’ team really beginning to feel the heat when some beer-throwing antics acted as a catalyst in causing tempers to flare. Luckily, in true Hild

Bede fashion, the differences were soon settled and the match was resumed.

Having been slightly unpredictable in these ‘deciding’ legs previously, Dickens held his nerve to win a tense finale causing mass hysteria amongst the ranks as cries of “3-0 up and you mucked it up” rung out from the adoring Seagullers fans. The match finished a point a piece at 4-4.

The Vernon Arms was the stage for a fine evening of darts where league position and previous records were forgotten. It just goes to show that “darts aren’t won on paper; they are won at the Ocky”.

Durham to host National Hapkido Championship HAPKIDO IS A Korean martial art which has been practised in its home country for thousands of years. It combines the dynamic kicking of taekwondo, the jointlocking skills of aikido and hanmudo, the throwing and grappling skills of judo and ju-jitsu, and the weapons skills of many other martial arts.

Our Durham-based club has been running for over a decade and its members train under the tutorship of Master Kim Beom (7th Dan), son of Grandmaster Kim Deok In, the founder of our style of Hapkido.

On 7th and 8th of March this year, the Second National Hapkido Championships will be hosted by Durham University Hapkido Club and held in our very own Maiden Castle Sports Centre. The two day event will run from 10am until 5pm on each day.

Saturday 7th will comprise both the team and individual championships

where martial artists from across the country will compete in demonstrating self-defence, weapons, kicking, breakfalling and many other aspects of Hapkido.

Everyone is warmly invited to this event as spectators, as these championships are seen as a celebration of martial arts in general, and not just the art we practise. Spectator entrance to this event is free, so please just turn up on the day and find a seat.

Sunday 8th will be host to two seminars with Master Kim Beom: the morning seminar will be for all Hapkido practitioners. The afternoon seminar is open to anyone who would like the opportunity to train under such an eminent Hapkido instructor and find out more about the martial art of Hapkido.

For further information, or to book your place for the open seminar, please contact Heather at h.f.colyer@dur.ac.uk, or 07762 912 985.

C M Y K

Know the score? sport@palatinate.org.uk

Friday 13 February 2009 palatinate.org.uk

SPORT 19

SPORT

DUAFC back in style with 5-0 demolition D

URHAM FOOTBALL RETURNED with a bang as the second team thumped Sheffield 5-0 at racecourse.

Lying precariously close to the drop zone, the Palatinates knew that the result of this game would have a massive impact on the remainder of their season.

However, the pressure did not faze the squad, who from the outset were a yard ahead of the opposition all over the park.

There were no signs of rustiness, as the home side were solid at the back and looked dangerous going forward every time they attacked, with Chris Heritage pulling the strings from the left hand side of midfield.

Durham were rewarded for their dominance in just the 7th minute when, after some good approach play, the ball found its way out to the left wing where the skilful Heritage produced an excellent cross that was turned home by Steve Danby.

Durham continued to attack with some style keeping possession of the ball well, and in the 25th minute doubled their lead when eventual man of the match Danby grabbed his second goal of the day from another pinpoint Heritage cross.

The half ended with some more eyepleasing football from the Palatinates, and they went into the break thoroughly deserving their two goal lead.

However, the home side knew that the job was not done yet, and that Sheffield would come at them in the second half as they sought to get back into the game.

Keeper Dave Ivermee, who was rarely tested in the home side’s goal, then pulled off a save early in the second half that any top class keeper would have been proud off, as he preserved Durham’s two goal advantage with a point blank save.

After this the away side knew it was not

to be their day, and the Palatinates continued to pin the opposition into their own half. With Sheffield heads down, the home side relentlessly attacked and were duly rewarded.

A third goal came when Heritage capped off a superb all-round performance by heading home a Martin Jones free kick in the 52nd minute. The fourth came in the 65th minute when Cosimo Codacci - Pisanelli, or more simply Cos - came off the bench to add his name to the score sheet.

However, the goal of the day came from Captain John Meehan in the 77th minute when he sent a stunning volley rocketing into the top corner from just outside the box after the Sheffield defence finally managed to clear one of Heritage’s deadly crosses.

Meehan’s goal, a contender for goal of the season no doubt, made the scoreline a resounding 5-0, and rounded off a superb team performance.

After the game a buoyant Meehan said: “I couldn’t be any happier with the performance today. Everyone did what I asked: they worked hard together, passed the ball well and was an excellent team performance.”

Club captain Dave Ivermee added: “It was a superb performance from everyone. Even more pleasing than that was seeing the whole team visibly enjoying their football. That is a testament to all the hard work John has put in as captain this season and he really deserved his goal.

I even ran in to their half to celebrate. I won’t go back this season.”

With confidence high and everybody enjoying their football, the Palatinates will hope they can emulate last week’s performance in their last three games of the season. If the squad do consistently perform in the same manner as last week, then they should fear no team and will avoid defeat in the remainder of the campaign.

Ieuan Jenkins

Rajvir Rai

SPORT IN BRIEF

Richard Johnstone

Midfield dynamo Chris Heritage was instrumental in the win

Costly mistakes end Durham Rugby League campaign Ieuan Jenkins

Dave Stewart DURHAM RUGBY LEAGUE First XV went into the game knowing that if they lost, the season was over - but if they won, they would be in the national semifinals.

However, in their way stood a tough Bradford team who were in a league tougher than the Palatinates’.

With the league over - in which Durham were unlucky not to come out on top - it was all or nothing.

The day started positively with the team arriving promptly, warming up vigorously, and seeming up for the match.

Durham defended the first set well for the first 4 tackles, then gave away a stupid penalty.

The opposition kicked for touch and put the home side under pressure in their

own 20m area, and Bradford ended up scoring under the posts with a grubber through on the last tackle.

6-0 down after 5 minutes, it was a nightmare start for Durham.

However, the team rallied and started to dominate the game putting in some crunching tackles and some big drives down the field.

This pressure eventually paid off after about 25 minutes, when Will Alsop managed to offload beautifully to Dave Fone, who ran through, side-stepped a defender and scored near the corner.

Unfortunately, the conversion attempt was narrowly missed which left the score at 6-4.

The away side then stepped up their game and dominated until the end of the first half. Durham under pressure made a few mistakes in possession, and gave away too many unnecessary penalties.

Durham show Naiper a clean set of heels

However, despite their mistakes Durham managed to hold out, due to some great goal-line defence, meaning the half time score remained 6-4 to Bradford.

The second half started brightly with Durham getting the ball near the Bradford try line, and coming very close to scoring twice.

Unfortunately, the home side then threw away their good work by conceding another 3 penalties - 2 for raking of the ball and 1 for offside. This gave the opposition too many cheap yards and put the Palatinates under needless pressure.

After the sequence the score became 10-4 to the visitors.

Durham, lifted by the crowd, raised their game and attacked periods; this resulted in a few chances which they were unlucky not to convert into points.

A knock-on in front of the line and a player pushed into touch meant Durham

were denied twice in successive attacks.

With 10 minutes left, just as Durham looked like they were going to tie the game, Bradford scored a sloppy try which devastated the Durham side.

With their head down, the home side conceded again 5 minutes later, leaving the score at 20-4.

Despite some good efforts at the end the game, the score did not change.

It wasn’t the end of the season that the Durham team had hoped for or deserved, given the solid performance during the rest of the season.

Overall though, it has been a good season for the Rugby League First XI, which at the start didn’t promise much but delivered plenty.

Hopefully next season the squad can build on this season’s success, and come back stronger.

LAST SUNDAY THE Durham Saints began the Scottish portion of their season in Edinburgh against the Napier Mavericks.

A solid performance from the whole roster means that confidence is now sky high in the camp after such a crucial away win at strong opposition.

A strong showing from the defence combined with creative attacking play meant that the Saints were a class above their opposition.

The day was highlighted by a great individual performance from running back Rob Burkhill.

In the past, Durham had sometimes struggled with slow starts after long journeys - however, the opposite was true here.

The Saints seemed focused and confident from the moment they stepped off the team coach.

The offence took the ball first and swiftly moved down the field, scoring a touchdown on only the fourth play of the game.

This was only a taste of what was to come in the second half.

After a blip in the second quarter that left the game in the balance 12-8 at half-time, the Durham offence clicked again in the second half and opened up a handsome lead.

The catalyst for this was the running of Rob Burkhill who gained 431 yards and 5 touchdowns, both career highs.

However, the defence was perhaps the more impressive on the day. They set the tone by forcing a three and out and then three sacks, two interceptions and a touchdown on Napier’s first three drives.

The contribution from every part of the defence was astounding. The defensive line, which in past weeks has appeared to be something of a patchwork, put in a great performance to shut down the running game and pressure the passing game all day.

This was exemplified by the fact that every member of the defensive line registered at least one sack and each tallied multiple tackles.

The aggression and verve spread throughout the team with debutant linebacker Mark Fulton Peebles epitomising the defensive effort. He seemed to make it his personal mission to ensure that the Napier quarterback didn’t have a second of peace the whole game.

The defensive effort was summed up

by Nick Bloomfield who played through injury to record two interceptions, one of those returned for a touchdown.

The day was a success, with the final score showing the dominance of the Saints. However, they still need to work on remaining better focused throughout the whole game, as the sloppy play of the second quarter showed.

The short term paucity of the offence and the drop in intensity by the whole team allowed the Mavericks back into the game, and although the Saints responded well by the end of the second half, these shortcomings might not go unpunished

by Glasgow or Newcastle in the coming weeks.

Yet the Saints wil definately feel they can build on their success, and with everyone enjoying their football, they need not fear anyone.

20 SPORT

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Friday 13 February 2009 palatinate.org.uk

PALATINATE SPORT Quarter-finals beckon for Durham Hockey after Sheffield are dispatched JONATHAN ALLEN

Jonathan Wilkes- Green DURHAM UNIVERSITY LIVED up to its BUCS Premier League status and moved into the quarter finals of the Mens Hockey competition with a professional 3-0 win over Sheffield Hallam. >>>Before the match, having limped to third position in the premier league, Durham were pleased to draw Hallam, and especially at home. >>>The side showed several changes from that which had competed in the majority of the preceding games. >>>Fresher Paddy Harman and centre back Nick Warner had been promoted to the starting line up following impressive performances in the second team and other senior players had been moved around or dropped. >>>Coach Gavin Featherstone hoped that the re-jig would help the Palatinates rediscover the early season form they had shown. Despite a delayed start, the changes immediately paid dividends, and following sustained pressure with the visitors camped in their own twenty-five yard area, the home side took the lead. >>>A crisp James Warburton strike into the top corner was the conclusion of good approach work from the new look new

midfield. >>>Although Hallam may have cleared the ball as it was crossed in, Warburton gave the Hallam keeper no chance when registering his 16th goal of the campaign.

“Loughborough are the likely semi-final opponents should the Palatinates be successful in London” >>>The number 9 then turned provider for Jonathan Wilkes-Green with a wonderful pass that was quickly turned on and cleverly placed into the corner. >>>Leading by two goals Durham looked comfortable. >>>Minutes later Wilkes-Green doubled his tally with a bizarre goal that trickled over the line following a failed one-two with Harman and subsequent poor judgement from Hallam defenders.

>>>At this stage it appeared as though the home side could reach double figures. >>>Short corners have often proved to be the home side’s speciality in this year’s National League and BUCS campaigns, but here proved difficult to win and with Hallam dropping back, Durham seemed content to retain the ball. >>>Featherstone made several changes throughout the half, but the chances gradually began to dry up as promising approach work from captain Daniel Barstow and Chris Borrett bore little reward in the attacking third. >>>Still, when umpire Simon Little blew the half-time whistle, the Palatinates led 3-0 at the interval and looked comfortably in charge. >>>Rather bizarrely, Hallam needed to score 3 goals in the second half but instead dropped off and made little attempt to find a way back into the game. >>>Arguably content with a 3-0 defeat, the Sheffield side applied little pressure and Durham continued to make the running. >>>Despite the pressure, Durham failed to make their chances count with WilkesGreen and Warburton missing chances. >>>Wilkes-Green missed an excellent chance to complete his second hat-trick of the season when he chipped over from the flick spot.

>>>Warburton, staring into the floodlights, failed to even make contact with the ball from two yards out following a clever aerial from his strike partner. >>>Other opportunities were to flash across the face of the Hallam target before the match ended 3-0 to Durham. >>>Palatinates keeper Jamie Cachia was virtually a spectator all game as Sheffield failed to penetrate the Palatinates’ strong defence.

“Future of Durham hockey is bright” >>>This success has seen Durham through to an away tie in the quarter finals against London Met next Wednesday, but finishing is an element of the Palatinates’ game that will need to be improved. >>>No doubt Featherstone will work hard to correct this, as he knows they can ill afford to miss crucial chances against forthcoming tougher oppoistion. >>>The side from the capital beat Oxford 2-1, and having scored 41 goals in just 10

BEN MORFOOT

A trip to formidable London Met next. Can the 30 year wait for a trophy end this campaign?

group stage matches the Palatinates will certainly not be able to take a semi-final spot for granted. >>>However, after the match Palatinates skipper Barstow appeared quietly confident and believed that his players “would respond to the pressure situation once again” having already beaten Loughborough in BUCS and Belper in the National League, away from Maiden Castle. >>>Loughborough are the likely semi-final opponents should the Palatinates be successful in London. >>>If they reach that stage, those who braved the near-freezing temperatures at Maiden Castle would have seen enough to confirm that Gavin Featherstone’s men have enough to turn over Oxford - which yet again is essentially the England-U21 side. >>>With the Palatinates not having tasted student glory in the 30 years since Featherstone was part of the side that claimed student honours, it would appear that there is a realistic chance of Durham lifting the trophy this year. >>>In the longer term too, Harman and defender Daniel Coulthas showed real talent accompanied by real maturity, suggesting that despite the graduation of many first teamers this year, the future of Durham hockey is looking bright.

C M Y K

Indigo

Valentine’s day blues Culinary aphrodisiacs Sex in Durham

2

INDIGO

What do you love? indigo@palatinate.org.uk

Friday 13 February 2009 palatinate.org.uk

PICK AND MIX Palatinate loves...

Selected quotes Francesca Teoh presents snippets from the public sphere

M&S Chocolate & Toffee biscuits These delectable treats have kept us sustained through many a late night.

Dry wit those anTo tolerate mates. use noying ho

“How I would grade my knowledge at 40: B+ in literature and attendant arts, B+ in history and biography, B- in philosophy, C in psychiatry, D+ in military tactics and strategy, D in architecture, D in art and D in Marxian economics.

“Everything else way below educated average including all science, natural history, music, politics, business, handicrafts, etc., etc.

- save for some specialist sport knowledge boxing, football, women...”

F. Scott Fitzgerald The self-deprecating master of American prose on his gross inadequacies.

Taylor Swift This 19-year-old American singer-songwriter is the next big thing.

Palatinate hates...

Deadlines en’t Because there ar the in s ur ho gh ou en day.

“It’s really scary about the economy right now, so the way I’m playing my part in helping is doing a lot of shopping where ever I go. I think a way for people to get by in this economy and still be fashionable, is to go to Topshop - because they have really cute clothes at great prices.”

Paris Hilton The perenially savvy trust-fund baby on the state of the world.

“I find the whole idea of being ‘sexy’ embarrassing and confusing, I’d never go out in a miniskirt. What’s sexy about saying: ‘I’m here with my boobs out and a short skirt - have a look at everything I’ve got.’”

Emma Watson The twenty-first century voice of moral conscience, the young Hermione Grainger on desirability.

Not replying to emails Because we need an answer, godammit!

Graduate pros pects We didn’t toil away only to get a M cJob!

“I’m going to get into so much trouble after this. I want a disclaimer first of all, that I’m going to say this person, if they weren’t married... so I’m going to say Cheryl Cole. Who wouldn’t? This is pretend, right?”

Simon Cowell The music svengali on which female celebrity he would most like to kiss.

“It’s such a relief to let myself by ugly.”

Greta Scacchi The actress complains that it’s a hard life being beautiful.

Twitter, Twitter Emily Purser explains how to Twitter your life away

W

hen Jonathon Ross bounded back onto our screens three weeks ago, tail between his legs after his threemonth suspension following Sachsgate, most viewers tuned in to hear what the BBC’s lovechild had to say by way of an apology.

Unlike Russell Brand, Ross’ coconspirator of the infamous Radio 2 stunt, Ross has not upped sticks and skipped off to LA to escape the hype - so he was left to weather the press storm alone, which, much like the snow, is only just subsiding.

Ross rewarded us with a suitably awkward apology at the beginning of his show, saying, “Seriously, I would like to apologise. We have got a great responsibility, what we do is a privilege and I will be more aware in future.”

But Ross’ attempt at humility was not what stood out from the show; his verging on obscene flattery of Tom Cruise was not even the highlight (though, admittedly, Cruise deserved the compliments: next to Ross, he looked like he had fallen from heaven). No, the most memorable part of the show (with the swoons of the house band, Four Poofs and a Piano, as Cruise entered coming in a close second) was Stephen Fry’s discussion about the social networking site Twitter.

Fry revealed himself as a big Twitter fan, and the fallout over the past couple of weeks has been astonishing. For those not in the know, Twitter is what the guys and gals in ITS would call a ‘micro-blogging’ website, where account holders post a summary of what they are doing or feeling in a maximum of 140 characters. It’s a little bit like Facebook statuses, only much less annoying and self-congratulatory.

Instead of thrilling the world with the state of your hangover, and how you are “neeeever drinking again ;) !!!”, twitterers (yes, there’s a host of Twit vocab) write much more frequently about where they are going, things they have heard etc, so one’s profile acts as a kind of diary. Each person ‘follows’ others, so that their statuses appear on your page and you keep up-to-date with what they are doing.

Now, this may all sound very mundane, and, frankly, who wants to know I had Special K for breakfast, but there is something incredibly enticing and entertaining in the simplicity of the site, which is reflected in its skyrocketing numbers.

When Fry went on Jonathan Ross a few weeks ago, he had in the region of 50,000 followers i.e. his updates were being read by 50,000 odd people around the world. At the time of writing, he has 147,696. Quite impressive, no?

Fry is just one of several celebrities wising up to this medium as a way to converse - in both directions - with their fans, and retain interest in their personal brand. In this age of celebrity, it stands to reason that we, the Average Joe, are interested in knowing the ins and outs of the rich and fabulous’ lives.

Hell, if we’ll spend a couple of quid on a magazine filled with Britney’s nipples and Cheryl’s hair extensions, we’ll log on to find out which country the god that is Stephen Fry is filming in. But unlike Heat and the ilk, Twitter does not have that creepy voyeuristic edge, because it’s often tongue-in-cheek, honest and - most importantly - the information is offered by the person in question.

I started tweeting a week or so before Fry gave Twitter more publicity than it could ever afford. Having read the numbers were spiking astronomically in the new year, I duly logged on to find out

what all the fuss was about.

Now, I am a nosy little so-and-so, but even if I weren’t, I venture that I’d still have become addicted to this website, if only for the diversionary service it provides in the library. As a Jon Snow addict, I love to read the tweets coming out of the Channel 4 newsroom, from the updates that are sent by text from the morning meeting, to the feedback it solicits on various stories.

Another reason Twitter seems to have taken off so suddenly is the discovery that it can act as an instantaneous news medium for user-generated content. The first picture of the United Airways plane that landed on the Hudson was posted on TwitPic, the image host for Twitter, meaning that hundreds of people knew about the incident before any of the newsrooms.

“I have a few random people following me... I can’t understand why someone who doesn’t know me wants to know what I’m doing” Many of the Radio 1 DJs tweet already, and seem to have spent the week talking about it; they are joined by Barack Obama, John Cleese and Alan Carr, to name but a few.

All of them, when questioned, are keen to point out that Twitter is not just an exercise in self-promotion, and in fact the vast majority of tweeting is between normal folk, who are communicating across offices, cities, or even libraries, like us.

I have a few random people following me, which perplexes me a little, as I can’t understand why someone who doesn’t know me wants to know what I’m doing. Following your friends’ tweets I understand, following Stephen Fry’s tweets I more than understand - but a totally random person? That’s where I draw the line.

For the time being, at least, I love hearing about Fry getting stuck in lifts, or Fearne Cotton interviewing bands, or Greg James’ damp in his flat, and even Schofe’s incessant rambling about his snowmen. In time, I hope, my friends will have a little tweet, at which point my own musings will be seen by more than just an ex-pat living in Singapore who doesn’t know me at all.

However, given that my diary is filled with trips to just one horrid concrete building, rather than LA and New York, perhaps I should stop stalking Stephen Fry, give up on this tweeting lark and just stick to Facebook. But I hazard a guess that in a few months, I might be the only one who is.

C M Y K

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Friday 13 February 2009 palatinate.org.uk

INDIGO 3

INTERVIEW Factfile: Anthony Horowitz Born 5th April 1956 Place of Birth Stanmore, Middlesex Nationality British Education Rugby School, York University, Writing Credits Numerous novels including the Alex Rider series, the Power of Five Series and, most recently, Necropolis.

Films: an adaptation of his Stormbreaker novel and The Gathering.

Television: Dramas such as Foyle’s War, Midsomer Murders and Murder in Mind.

“

I’VE NEVER FOUND it difficult and I still don’t. Writing is writing. I love all my writing equally, and I do it with the same sort of pleasure. What’s rather good about the way my career has gone is that I can still do all of them, and mix and match.” >>>A warm smile, a polite handshake, and a tremendously animated enthusiasm: Anthony Horowitz has admitted himself that he’s never happier “than when I’m writing”. A published author at the age of 23, a highly successful screenwriter (he counts Midsummer Murders, Foyle’s War and even a few Poirot episodes amongst his work), and now an almost universally popular children’s writer, there are few creative peaks that he hasn’t yet reached in his career spanning thirty-three years. And don’t even think he’s finished yet.

“Don’t even think he’s finished yet” >>>Born in 1953 into an upper-class Middlesex family, Horowitz was educated first at Orley Farm preparatory school and then Rugby School, later completing a degree at the University of York.

Much has been written about Horowitz’s father, a political fixer for Harold Wilson, a businessman, and – consciously or unconsciously – a hugely important figure in the 56-year-old writer’s life, even if he doesn’t care to admit it. >>>“I’ve forgotten about my father. I don’t think about him. I don’t wake up in the morning full of anxieties about my father who’s now been dead for nearly twenty years. That’s just how it was. I wouldn’t call him a ‘spark’ or anything.

He’s just not really relevant to me.” >>>I ask Horowitz how his father

“It all comes together when I sit down at the page” Thirty years, thirty-six novels, and a thirty-seventh in the making – and still his enthusiasm refuses to wane. Anthony Horowitz – known best as the creator of the Alex Rider series of books - talks to Matthew Walters before his address at the Union as he looks back over a career that also teems with film, television, and theatre influenced his reading and writing. “My father had a huge library. I still have a big library, but he had hundreds of books – nineteenth-century literature, eighteenthcentury literature. He introduced me to Dickens, Thackeray and Trollope. >>>For some reason, he just couldn’t get it into his head that I was serious about writing. It is true that he did completely ridicule the whole notion of my becoming a writer. I don’t think he had a very high opinion of me. He thought my brother was lot cleverer than I am. To this day I don’t quite understand it. I just didn’t know him that well. He died so young that it’s difficult to tell really what was going on in his head. >>>I think it was because he was a businessman, and – you know – he thought I’d be the same as him. I still do remember him steaming into my bedroom and nicking one of my manuscripts, and then taking the piss out of it for the whole day when we were driving in the car. >>>Funnily enough, I can still see the moment – a complete flashback. I get upset with him, and I can still feel me getting angry with him. I can still recall him saying that it was ‘his house’, and that I didn’t have a privacy in ‘his house’. I make him sound like a complete bastard.

He wasn’t. He was basically a good man, but he was strange.”

“I only started doing Alex Rider because I got the impression that James Bond had got too old.” >>>Despite their undoubted success – both in terms of critical and audience reception – by the time of that the first book of the Rider series – Stormbreaker – was released in 2000, Horowitz had actually been dreaming up a Rider-like character for nearly ten years. Why did he decide to delay the writing of the Rider novels for so long? “When Harry Potter happened in around 1999, I realised I had to throw away all of the toys in my basket, which is to say I couldn’t continue to write stories about boys who went to schools and did magic, as in Groosham Grange. >>>“It was a conscious decision to decide to do something different, if I was to continue writing children’s books at all. Then I remembered the idea I’d had a long time ago – to go in a different direction, to move away from funny kids’ books that read like kids’ books, and go on to do something a little more serious. >>>I remember the first draft of Stormbreaker was full of jokes, and I was going back to the old style of gags and jokes. I’ve tried to stop that – that’s why there are few jokes in the books, apart from the odd references to the humour of the Roger Moore James Bond films. As the series has progressed, I’ve even cut those out.” The character of Alex Rider has been described by some reviewers as being a “James Bond with Nike trainers”, a modern superhero with an aura rooted in the novels of Ian Fleming.

>>>What similarities does Horowitz see in Fleming’s James Bond and his Alex Rider? “I will freely admit that the idea of the books was inspired by the James Bond movies, which I always loved as a kid. I only started doing Alex Rider because I got the impression that James Bond had got too old. Having decided to do that, I wanted to make Alex as different from Bond as possible. The most fun I have as a writer is thinking up new ideas, not nicking other people’s ideas.

“There won’t be a next JK Rowling – nobody will have that success again at that level.” >>>“The differences between Alex and James Bond are legion. The main thing is that Alex doesn’t really want to do the job, whereas James Bond is a patriot and is happy to work for M. Alex is like any other teenager – he just wants to be left alone – and the people he works for are extremely untrustworthy. These are untrustworthy people, in the days of Iraq when the dossiers they dream up are all false and full of lies, and that’s what informs the Alex books.

I’m a huge admirer of Ian Fleming, I >>>I’m admit it, and there are obvious nods and references. I put little secret things in my books that make references to James Bond films.

Giving the most gleaming insight >>>Giving into the research processes behind his novels, Horowitz lays claim to the fact that he researches every situation – every country, every colour, even every character’s movements – before they eventually make their way into his books.

For Snakehead,, for example, he visited Australia; for Necropolis, Hong Kong: “It all comes together when I sit down at the page,” he states.

“My research is not done for derring>>>“My do or for fun. I wrote one chapter of Snakehead which features a shootout on an oil rig, and hadn’t visited an oil rig. I put the book in, and everybody liked it, but to me the oil rig was slightly distorted – it was like a badly developed photograph. I later went up to Scotland, visited an oil rig, and rewrote that section of the book. I didn’t change more than fifty words, but the difference was that it just came into focus. That’s why I do it.”

And what of writer’s block? “I’m a >>>And very fluent writer. I spend so much time thinking before I write, and structuring, and planning, and working out.

“Every book is worked out into its >>>“Every chapters, every chapter worked out into its constituent parts. Every character is in place. By the time I start writing, everything is in place. It’s then just a case of finding the words. The first draft is the most important one, and it’s the one I most enjoy. The second draft – going from paper to the computer – I reckon sees only a 20% change in what I write.”

Horowitz has written four adult fiction >>>Horowitz books, his most recent being The Killing

Joke and 2006’s The Magpie Murders.

How difficult was it for a writer now so comfortable with children’s fiction to move into adult fiction? “There are so few children’s writers that can write adult books, and so few adult writers that can write children’s books. >>>“It’s a difficult boundary to cross.

It’s a different world. It’s a question of purity. Children’s books to me are very pure. You just follow the narrative thread, and don’t worry about details. In an adult book, you have to worry about a character’s relationships, philosophy and politics, even the clothes they’re wearing.

I found that difficult.” >>>In 2007, Horowitz wrote an article for The Guardian in which he lamented the way that government legislation, and the culture of political correctness, was forcing him – and other writers – to be less daring in creating villains for their novels. He explains: “You have to be careful in the world of children’s books.

It’s increasingly difficult to come up with characters that have a racial dimension to them without being deemed racist yourself. >>>“There is a certain danger in it. The villain of the next Alex Rider book is – as of this moment – a black man. He’s going to be from Kenya. I’m in two minds as to whether that’s a good thing or not.” >>>Horowitz, who later gave an address at the Durham Union Society, speaks at a time when the success of the Harry Potter novels – seven of J.K. Rowling’s novels now occupy the shelves of bookstores and booklovers, and the Philip Pullman His Dark

Materials trilogy remains astonishingly popular – have refocused attention on children’s writers and the craft of children’s books. Horowitz himself has written that this is a “golden age” for children’s writing. “The biggest shift that’s happened in the last ten years is, and it’s largely down to J.K. Rowling, is that a generation of authors has grown up and the kids can choose for themselves – rather than reading what their parents read. Children’s writers are far more accessible than they use to be. >>>“Because J.K. Rowling made so much money, the publishers have wised up to the fact that children’s literature is an interesting area to be in. Most of the big events in publishing aren’t for adult books at all – they’re for children’s books.

All the publicity is going into children’s books, hoping to find the next JK Rowling.

“I have no control over whether people will like or dislike a book, so why worry about it?”

>>>“There won’t be a next JK Rowling – nobody will have that success again at that level.” >>>Over 190,000 children bought Horowitz’s latest novel, Necropolis (the fourth in the Power of Five series) upon its release in October last year. In addition to his novel-writing, Horowitz is in the process of penning new episodes of his ITV television series Foyle’s War, and has created a new five-part series called Collision – again to be shown on ITV – which has been produced by his wife, Jill Green. >>>How does he cope with the pressure of writing books amid such a veritable flurry of activity? “If you let the pressure get to you, it does change your perspective. It makes you ask questions: is this going to be alright? Will kids buy this?

I never used to have to ask these questions. >>>“It’s difficult to get past the expectation. When I write, however, I will go into a room, shut the door, and - in the same way as I have for the last thirty or so years – will write that book. I have no control over whether people will like or dislike a book, so why worry about it?”

ALASTAIR BARBER

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INDIGO

Got a Feature idea? feature@palatinate.org.uk

Friday 13 February 2009 palatinate.org.uk

FEATURE

Palatinate recommends...

The Viaduct This student colony is the perennial location of where it’s at. Everyone who’s anyone moves here in their second year in order to sample the delights of North Road on a daily basis. With Tesco Express. Iceland, Walkabout, Studio, and yes that’s right the society hotspot known as The Bus Station where you can converse with your favourite tramp, what’s not to love about the Viaduct?

There may be trains a-rattling, houses a-shaking, but the like of The Avenue, also known to the select as The “Rah”-venue keep things interesting 24/7. Indeed, the Viaduct’s villagey atmosphere means that there’s always someone who’ll be around for a chat, a cup of tea, or a post-Klute discussion.

Claypath

Elvet

Claypath - it seems a rather inconspicuous place, right?

You know, it being near the Gala Theatre and the Clayport Library, those two bastions of genteel culture. Well, word on the street is that the nightly student fear is the threat of kebabs. You heard us right. We hear that undergraduates are the cruel target of a game of “Does a hot kebab really hurt if we throw it at an unknowing academic-type?”

That aside, with the likes of Oldfields, that fancy dress shop and of course ridiculous proximity to Loveshack and Spoons, it’s always worth a second look.

Surely, the best location by miles, Elvet is prime real estate.

Although expensive its advantages are immense. It’s nearly always a five-minute walk anywhere - to Elvet Riverside, to the Science Site, and more importantly the DSU for Planet, and Dunelm Foods for stocking up on the essentials. Many of the properties have been refurbished to a superior standard, making living out the chilled out Hollyoaks narrative a distinct possibility. Strange things do happen there though...last year the 3am naked bread ritual, reminiscent of something out of Heart of Darkness on one popular Elvet street had the locals complaining of the indecent practices of today’s youth.

There’s no place like home Francesca Teoh celebrates the benefits of living out. Good food, good friends, good times; independence par excellence

E

VENTUALLY THE JOYOUS day arrives when it’s time to fly the coop and live outside of college.

So far, so good. Whilst an essential rite of passage, it has its dangers. It has been said that living with one’s friends can be a risky business. What is even more unpredictable, however, is living with a perfect stranger. Sometimes, the experience can be surprisingly refreshing and even entertaining. Lifelong friendships have resulted from the serendipity of finding an extra housemate at the last minute. On the other hand, the whole affair could be a disastrous domestic cocktail.

“The whole affair could be a disastrous domestic cocktail” First on the agenda is location, location, location. Do you invest in a room with a view in the city centre or a rustic farmhouse in a nearby village? Flat or house? Of course, intensive research is initially required into the quality of the property and the reliability of one’s landlord.

Undoubtedly, there is some brainstorming involved. Much discipline and commitment will be required when negotiating monthly bills and balancing one’s books, and an especially flexible approach to what constitutes “cleaning”. Of course, there will be difficult times, and of course there will be moments when you feel exasperated with your housemates, your neighbours, or even yourself.

In many ways, however the advantages far outweigh the risks. Living on your own terms is priceless. No more timed meals, missed breakfasts, obscure

packed lunches, and rushing back from lectures to beat the heaving dinner queues. When you shut your front door and enter the little oasis, it’s almost akin to clicking your heels three times as Dorothy does in The Wizard of Oz. There really is no place like home.

One can only relish to opportunity to determine one’s own diet after endless nights of “unidentifiable meat slop”.

Nutritious, well-balanced and interesting meals of one’s own selection/invention/ creation are now an attainable reality.

Finally, you can become a domestic goddess, relax on your very own sofa and resume a structured programme of daytime TV viewing. Also on the living out horizon emerge visions of dinner parties galore, friends stopping by for afternoon tea, and prancing around the house to Madonna whilst dusting the furniture. If you choose a property situated near your department, the lecture halls, or within close proximity to the shops, the rewards are endless. Need to pop out for a pint of milk at 9pm? Overslept and have ten minutes to get to that all-important lecture or tutorial? Fancy an impromptu late-night session at the library? It can be done, if you play your cards right with the Durham Monopoly board.

The keen sense of gaining a new hip family with whom to indulge in yuppie activities seems a relishing prospect.

What’s not to love about the imminent crash-course in home economics? Whilst managing one’s own finances is a muchfeared event, if Gordon Brown could masquerade as a supposedly efficient Chancellor of the Exchequer despite being seriously inept at maths, then being fiscally savvy is not an impossible feat.

The unspeakable thrill of possessing your very own fridge / freezer and washerdryer surely knows no bounds.

Privacy is perhaps one of the most significant benefits of living out. There is

something sublime about relinquishing the boarding school atmosphere, and having one’s own bathroom and living room in which to breathe, away from the watchful eyes of twenty other people. In this way, you never have to see people in whom you have little interest, and who have no concern for you either.

Only invited guests need ever cross that important threshold into your world. And the social mask is largely unnecessary – your new home is the place where you can finally relax, and stop performing for the masses.

The domestic setting is the prime opportunity for really learning about your friends, and to respect and appreciate what you never knew about their personalities, or the depths of their generosity and compassion. Perhaps most importantly, living out provides a crucial test-

drive for running one’s own household.

Having masterminded the disturbing facts of plumbing, electricity, and bookkeeping, surely the next step is property developer and landlord par excellence? The career prospects are infinite…

Personally, the decision to live out during second and third year has been the greatest blessing. However initially traumatic the wranglings with energy, Internet, and telephone companies, however much the pain of “budgeting”, and however much the little frustrations that inevitably result from living in such close confines with friends, the feeling of serenity alone compensates for any resultant stress.

Sharing a house teaches one more about human relationships, compromise, honesty, and loyalty than living in a solitary cubicle ever could. Symbolically

living out represents choice – something that appears to be rapidly dissolving in the modern world. After all, its pattern of life more closely represents what the individual should expect in the future. We all have to grow up someday, and there is no better time to experiment at playing house than whilst still a student.

Living out teaches us that we can make adult decisions and respond effectively to the crises that people have to confront in the sphere beyond the bubble of university. We don’t not need to be cushioned by an artifical environment in order to succeed. And we have the strength to do that because we have had to survive on our own wits and determination. The ability to balance academic work, household duties, and social activities suggests that we are ready to enter the race that is human existence.

C M Y K

Got a Feature idea? feature@palatinate.org.uk

Friday 13 February 2009 palatinate.org.uk

INDIGO 5

FEATURE

Everyone says “I love you” Ellie Derbyshire offers an alternative view on the annual saccharine-sweet indulgence that is Valentine’s day

I

JAMES DUNN

WANT DIAMONDS and roses. I want a three-course meal and a romantic trip. I want chocolates (hand-made) and champagne (Perignon) and a compilation CD and a teddy bear holding hearts declaring that they ‘love’ me. And I want a card, better than any card I’ve ever had before, with strings of compliments, flattery and poetry. Obviously, if I don’t get these things then I’m unloved. I can be cast to the bottom of the pile along with the other disappointed Valentine’s Day dreamers. How embarrassing.

“I can be cast to the bottom of the pile”

a sudden, (Oh, another thing, I want to be Kate Hudson with Matthew McConaughey chasing my cab on a motorcycle to declare his intense feelings for me).

The old-fashioned, cutesy, but far-tooordinary standards of showing love just aren’t good enough anymore. We don’t want to just be told, “I love you”… on Valentine’s Day, it must be declared, written, sung, sighed, proved. It’s all about the act.

Valentine’s Day has drifted so far away from any genuine notion of romance that

the whole day is like a parody of itself. You only have to look in a Clinton Cards in the lead up to the big day to realise the near tragi-comedy of the situation. The stress levels in those places, I swear, would cast a grim shadow on the sun. A whole routine of fretting over the ‘perfect card’ ensues.

Most of them have teddy bears on them, or bunnies or sheep, (all symbols closely associated with true love, of course). You think, yes, it’s cute, but what if it comes across as too pre-adolescent?

Sex in the city Oliver Gill presents the Durham Five, a report on the best hotspots for doing the deed.

A

GOOD FEW weeks ago I started to write about a fabled statistic; 75% of Durham students meet their future husband or wife here. It turns out this is pretty dull and almost completely unfounded. So I pondered; what would be a more interesting subject to write about?

How about… ‘The Top Five Places to Have Sex in Durham Before You Graduate’? Perfect, especially as we lead up to St Valentines Day. Some obvious pre-requisites are; it has to have an element of danger, preferably somewhere clean and a place which isn’t impossible. I would like to think I have included a little something for everyone here; a mixture of alfresco and indoor, public and private, and a good geographical spread over some of Durham’s most famous landmarks.

However, before I begin, here are a few that didn’t quite cut the mustard: The Cathedral – this may be first on many peoples lists, but personally just the possibility of eternal damnation strikes it off mine.

The Little Bench on the way up to Train Station – it commands terrific panoramic views of Durham sites; but honestly, it’s at the top of a very steep hill and is almost always busy. Too much

effort for such small reward.

5. The Racecourse Bandstands The first alfresco location, but one quite removed from the city centre and prying eyes. This unfortunately brings the Bandstands rating down slightly.

However there is shelter and the calming flow of the adjacent river. One for lovers, a blanket and a nice flask of tea.

4. In the Castle The Castle’s iconic status alone ought to provide ample reasoning for its high positioning. Just remember your campus card for entry and stay off the battlements. I should point out that Castle Students will feel less pride on completion of this. Or maybe not?

3. University Library –West Wing This is the room filled with scientific journals, complete with sliding shelves.

Dangers include being squashed between shelves by a procrastinating student on a wander / playing Indiana Jones games(?!). Not sure about the camera situation, just be wary.

2. CLC Lifts Not the most glamorous of locations as you enter from the ‘wicked’ café,

cringe. But it ranks so highly purely linked to its difficulty and the oversized mirror you are gifted with. The journey time from top to bottom is 10.4 seconds (I’ve timed it). This leaves little room for anything and if you take into consideration other lift users, from say the techno café, your time frame is cut even shorter.

1. Palace Green This is it. The big one. It mixes stunning views of both the Castle and Cathedral with alfresco danger and impossibility. You are exposed around 360 degrees, with no form of shelter to hide behind. Sorry to end with such a wet one, but mentioning its name in Durham commands respect; mention it to your friends elsewhere and it will conjure up royal imageries of grandeur.

So there it is; my Top Five. Perhaps it will be famous one day. But you shouldn’t think of it as a checklist, more a written report analysing the hypothetical pros and cons should anybody actually try some of these places. I hope it’s been informative and fun but in all honesty do not try this at home. I study maths, and therefore know nothing of the ramifications of sex in public.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Then you scan down the aisle… and a comedy card suddenly seems like a brilliant idea. It would show your light-hearted banter, but, you worry, what if you seem too funny? A lack of seriousness would send oneself down the ‘friendship-zone’ route.

It worsens when finally, just when you think you have found the best card in the world, you open it up to uncover the most hideous, vomit-worthy, valentine’s poetry ever. Just shoot me. We depend, however, on this type of pre-digested commerJAMES DUNN

Unfortunately therein lies the trap.

Someone along the way changed the concept of Valentine’s Day and with that changed the concept of love itself. It’s really an ingenious idea because that same someone is probably sitting on the millions of pounds amassed on February 14th every year. The whole industry has allowed people to get so carried away in a direction of gross materialism, that we are finding ourselves further and further removed from finding real love by spending more and more time on these trivial conventions. It seems like the whole of our romantic lives has become dominated by one date mid-February that holds no attachment to anybody.

It’s entertaining that Valentine’s Day convinces us that movies can be reality, encouraging us to incorporate cinematic ideals in our dreams of the big V-day. Everyone wants their love-life to be transformed into a feature film all of

cialism, to get us through Valentine’s Day. Whoever needs a hallmark greeting card to re-affirm their ‘love’ is, I’m afraid, not in love. People do feel the need to have proof. (It’s as though, if you didn’t get the present you wanted, then your partner doesn’t know you at all. He clearly doesn’t love you. However good it might have seemed, it’s probably a sign that it’s not going to work, and in fact, you may as well split up now).

On the other hand, you may have a perfect day with a perfect present then, bam! Marriage material! Sadly, it seems this day is held as being of paramount importance over anything else. It’s the Valentine’s ‘machine’ making people forget what is really important; the closeness of the heart and the goodness of character.

Real love should always be apparent and celebrated everyday, outside the constrained 24 hours of February 14th. Real love doesn’t need a day as an excuse for affection. Yes, diamonds and roses are lovely, but love needs a lot more than that.

So, I propose a change in tack… an annual Valentine’s Year. The pressure is gone but the romance can remain. No more elitist calendar system of restraint!

No more discrimination between the days!

Allow the freedom of expression of love without materialism, anytime, anywhere, anyhow!

Anyway, before it begins to sound like I’m on a crusade I should explain; maybe I’m just too cool, (unlikely), or too boring, or simply too lazy, or maybe I’m the one that is the most nervous about disappointment.

Whatever it is, I’d rather like a return to old days of true romance and true love, without this hyped up day interfering, and most importantly, without the need for a teddy bear to tell you that he loves you.

6

INDIGO

Eaten at any good (or bad) restaurants? food@palatinate.org.uk

Friday 13 February 2009 palatinate.org.uk

FOOD AND DRINK

Recipe for romance!

Feed your libido (or that of your partner!) this Valentine’s Day with some of nature’s most potent offerings Asparagus - rich in vitamin E to stimulate sex hormones. Steam and serve with butter for a desire-inspiring dish.

Oysters - Casanova himself ate fifty oysters for breakfast every day. Enough said. Serve with a garlic sauce for an extra hit.

Strawberries - these heart-shaped berries are delicious whether eaten alone, dipped in chocolate, or floating in champagne.

Chocolate - the Aztec emperor, Montezuma, drank fifty golden goblets of melted chocolate a day to boost virility before visiting his harem of six hundred women. Eat in any form: bars, cake, smeared over a torso...

Avocado - deemed so powerful that virginal maids in Aztec villages were not allowed to step outside while the fruit was being gathered! Halve and serve with a little lemon juice and a dash of pepper.

Champagne - lowers inhibitions and allows sexual desire to emerge. Beware, though: too much can hinder performance!

Photograph: Marc Pritchard Assistants: Adam Richards, Alex Wilso Make up: Fiona Hicks Hairy styling: Emma Skipper

Restaurant review Palatinate investigates whether The Gourmet Spot leaves an orgy in the mouth or merely a troubling irritation to the wallet

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I

felt positive the G-Spot would offer a culinary experience like no other; it had to be a meal to remember. A quick perusal of the website only served to further whet my appetite: the confident affirmation of the restaurant’s greatness and the explanation of its Heston Blumenthalesque food philosophy, coupled with the sumptuous (if at times somewhat phallic) pictures of the food left me anticipating something really rather special. >>>Having wound my way up The Avenue and arrived at the (empty) restaurant, I immediately had to hold back the

TOM BAYLISS

The Gourmet Spot Durham

encroaching wave of disappointment. We had arrived early hence the emptiness of the place but even as it began to fill up there was an uncomfortable frostiness to both the temperature and the atmosphere. Images of fires on television screens did little to counter the clinical coolness invited by the uncomfortable modern furniture. >>>We ordered: surf and turf belly pork for me and duck for my friend. We waited over two very expensive beers. The food arrived promptly; each meal brought out on a slate, plates being too unfashionable. >>>Then followed an explanation of what we were about to eat by the extremely softly spoken waitress. She carefully explained that I was eating locally sourced pork and locally caught tuna, a combina-

tion which I was soon to find should have been confined to the ‘ideas’ bin a long time ago. >>>She then pointed out my deep fried prawn, staple fayre of a thousand pubs, and finally my wasabi foam. This was indeed a blessing as, had she not explained that it was wasabi ‘foam’, I would have been inclined to believe the chef had merely gobbed on my food. My meal was, I must admit, rather tasty if seriously short on quantity. >>>The pork and duck were cooked to perfection, as were the tuna and the prawn and my few vegetables were also very nice. The wasabi foam added very little, being almost totally tasteless. The ingredients used were, where possible, organic and locally sourced, part of the Gourmet Spot’s philosophy. >>>Dessert was necessary: neither of us was even nearly full and this was the opportunity I’d been awaiting: to taste Britain’s best dessert…except it wasn’t on the menu. Rather downhearted but nevertheless determined to enjoy my evening I plumbed for the chocolate board whilst

my friend chose the ‘De-constructed’ apple pie. Chocolate board was delicious being, as it was, a bar of chocolate, a chocolate mousse and some chocolate ice-cream. >>>Tesco also does a great chocolate board for those who don’t frequent the viaduct. ‘De-constructed’ apple pie was the most bizarre, stupid culinary experience either of us had ever experienced. >>>A shortbread biscuit, some apple puree and some ice cream were placed in a line accompanied by some miniature apples. Had one tried to construct an apple pie from these tiny ingredients then something like a Mr. Kipling offering would be the result. >>>We left the restaurant £70 poorer and returned home for some toast to stave off the hunger. I only hope that next time Palatinate sends me to a restaurant they choose one which understands portion control. So, for a pretentious, unfulfilling Valentine’s Day choose the Gourmet Spot. For something a bit more fun, find its namesake.

Charlie Booth

C M Y K

7

INDIGO

Gone somewhere exotic? travel@palatinate.org.uk

Friday 13 February 2009 palatinate.org.uk

TRAVEL

Slumdog millionaire?

Inspired by the hit film to go see India? Clare Radcliffe gives us the insider’s tips on how to experience the real thing

T

HE FILM CURRENTLY sweeping the big-bucks competition in awards season encapsulates the extraordinary country that is India.

Home to 200 million cows and the unforgivable ‘Delhi Belly’, if you missed it first time around, then you should take another gap year. >>>India is a country overflowing with binary metaphors, it is a contradiction. Indians have a reputation for being obsessed with cleanliness whilst many of them work in streets overflowing with refuse due to the chronic lack of dustbin men. In fact the problem is so bad that not long ago there was an outbreak of the pneumonic plague. >>>Though the rubbish and grinding poverty makes the opulence, architecture and the Mughal history even more affecting, potential travellers are often put off by the begging and suffering that they expect to see.

The most frequently asked question about the country is how do you deal with the poverty? Mark Tully, the foreign correspondent in Delhi, has the answer in the truism; ‘I don’t have to cope with the poverty; the poor have to cope with the poverty.’ A.A. Gill adds that ‘the poverty is what you and I go to see.’ >>>This may seem controversial, but certainly life in the slums of Mumbai is a fascinating topic to those in the west. However, simultaneously many are eager not to get too close. According to Danny Boyle, the director of the celebrated film, Mercedes Benz asked that its logos be removed in scenes taking place in the slums. Apparently the company did not want to be associated with the poverty stricken areas, fearing for its image. >>>Exiting the airport in Mumbai can be a devastating experience if you are not prepared. The mosquitoes will bite, the beggars will press close and sweat patches will start as they mean to go on. With your rucksack on, your first task is to negotiate

yourself the services of a tuk tuk driver. But then you realise that tuk tuks can only go as far as the slums of Mumbai. To get to Colaba - number one destination for most travellers - you must change to a taxi. >>>You will of course be ripped off, but if you are so worried about the poverty then you shouldn’t mind paying the rickshaw driver more than a resident would. Once you reach Colaba, “The Sea Shore Hotel” will offer you its services for 600 rps. a night, and a cosy communal loo with shower head attached (bring your own loo roll...).

“a cosy communal loo with shower head attached (bring your own loo roll...)”

>>>Give yourself time to adjust to the humidity with a sandwich at Leopold’s cafe before taking a walk down Colaba Causeway. Here you will find all sorts of odds and ends: peacock feathers, bangles, marijuana... Appreciate the newly desiccated Taj Hotel and the Gateway to India - it’s from here that the British departed and now we stand around gawping at it or catching a ferry to the Elephanta Caves. Make sure you make it to the Mahalaxmi Dhobi - enough items of clothing have been washed there to dress every man, woman and eunuch resident in Mumbai. >>>To get from Mumbai to your next port of call the transport options are endless, from hitching a ride in a elaborately decorated TA-TA truck with a man who definitely thinks

you are Australian to a plane that looks like it flew in the second world war. Every car, rickshaw and camel has “horn please” plastered on its rear, this is indicative of the drivers’ mentality. Every taxi journey could be your last and it isn’t very reassuring to know that every other driver has the ethereal air bag of reincarnation to keep them safe. Bear in mind that the buses don’t stop – bring an empty bottle. >>>However, without doubt the most interesting experience can be had if you depart from the Chhatrapati Shivaji train Terminus. Be warned that the “Ladies Only” carriages are honey pots for the pervy man. You are more than likely to wake up with someone else’s bottom on your pillow beside your head. However, the A/C carriages provide cleanish sheets and the service is far more efficient than the journey most of us have taken from Durham to Kings Cross with the food being only slightly less appetising. >>>After Mumbai your next stop should be Udaipur where hopefully a rather grumpy train guard will pull on your toe to announce the train’s arrival. Without doubt this is the most beautiful city in India. Known as ‘the city of lakes’, it is the setting for Octopussy and home to an awful lot of Indians claiming to have been an extra in the film. It is where I had my most awkward moment in the five months I was in India. An oversight in my packing caused me to devote a good couple of hours to searching for a pharmacy in the city. >>>At one point in Slumdog Millionaire, Jamal utters the phrase: ‘When somebody asks me a question, I give them the answer.’

Well, when I asked if they had any Tampax, two proprietors proudly produced a small and ancient tub of marmite and said ‘Temples, ya we got thousands of temples...and marmite also’. >>>Jaiselmer is not too far (Indian

distances allowing) from Udaipur and is the camel capital of the universe.

Every man, woman and camel will try and sell you a camel safari. If you want to have a go at haggling, our top tip is start at a tenth of the price they do. Incidentally if they ask you if you want to trot... say NO. >>>The sandstone fort is an alternative for the faint hearted. But should the worst happen on the camel safari and you are forced to venture into an Indian hospital you might find another gap year tragedy, such as my friend Ollie, performing surgery.

He made the grievous error of claiming to be a medical student to gain prestige after he received disappointing looks in response to his politics and history degree. He still claims he can remove a hernia.

“should the worst happen on the camel safari and you are forced to venture into an Indian hospital, you might find another gap year tragedy”

>>>If you do need to go to hospital, try and get to Jaipur first. The whole city was painted pink for the arrival of Prince Charles in the seventies.

Famous for its gems, but more importantly its ability to cripple your innards, take the elephant ride up to the terrific fort in the morning before your stomach explodes. >>>Next on the list is Agra. When Jamal sees the Taj Mahal for the first

ELIZABETH FUNG

time he says ‘Is this heaven...What is it? Some hotel?’ Remember, Agra is also home to the Red Fort, a visit to which is covered by your ticket to the Taj Mahal. Pose like Princess Diana and remember that it is one of the only public monuments built solely for love, Shahjahan’s tomb for his beloved wife. Although the details of the story mean it isn’t as romantic as it sounds. She was his second wife and she died in childbirth. Then one of her sons killed all his brothers, and locked old Shahjahan up in a castle till he died. But for the rest of his days he got perhaps the best, most heart-rending view of his wonderful white tomb. >>>Delhi is the obvious place to depart from as it would be a more horrifying location to arrive at than Mumbai. In Connaught Place you will find perhaps the biggest clash of cultures in all of India. Prada shops sit next to shoe shiners. Beware those canny individuals who look as though they are straight out of Dracula, it isn’t blood in their mouths, it’s betel juice a tobacco. This is a profession Jamal and his brother take up for a while. If you think your shoes are clean, even if you are in fact wearing flip flops, think again, as whilst one offers to clean the other will place a large turd on your shoe. Beside the Red Fort, Qutab Minar and the Jama Masjid, possibly the most exciting attraction of Delhi is the chicken burgers at the three MacDonalds within a hundred metres. By the time you get to Delhi you will be craving them. >>>India may have joined the MacDonalds revolution but if we measure the wealth of a country in terms of the things that really matter – family, manners, spirituality, generosity, culture, history and food – India is limitless. So much of the film has a sensationally unreal quality about it. >>>A visit to the country itself will leave you with this feeling too, so why not go to India and experience it for yourself?

8

INDIGO

Got a beauty or style idea? fashion@palatinate.org.uk

Friday 13 February 2009 palatinate.org.uk

BEAUTY AND FASHION

Dressing for With winter passing and summer far from sight, Palatinate explores transitional dressing.

Coat Bay trading £30 Shoes Matalan £16

Styling by Georgie Macintyre Photography by Tommy Clarke

Legging Matalan £8

Coat Matalan £40 Shoes Peacocks £18 Socks New Look £6

Coat Peacocks £25 Yellow Dress Bay trading £35 Tights Matalan £3 Boots Models own

Green Coat Peacocks £30 Wedge Shoes Peacocks £15

C M Y K

Got a beauty or style suggestion? fashion@palatinate.org.uk

Friday 13 February 2009 palatinate.org.uk

INDIGO 9

BEAUTY AND FASHION Purple Knitt Cardigan £12 Denim Shorts £12 Jacket £25 Tights £3 All Peacocks

Coat New Look £35 Hat Stylists own

Pink Jacket £25 New Look Jumpsuit Bay Trading £35 Shoes Matalan £16

10 INDIGO

LISTINGS listings@palatinate.org.uk

Friday 13 February 2009 palatinate.org.uk

LISTINGS listings@palatinate.org.uk

Friday 13 February 2009 palatinate.org.uk

LISTINGS By Alison Moulds

INDIGO 11

LISTINGS

PURPLE DIARY YOUR POSTER-SIZED EVENT GUIDE FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS

Highlights this fortnight Sat. 14 Feb

Durham Charity 5km Fun Run

L

ast year yielded a more than impressive turnout, with over 900 students, university staff and locals participating in Team Durham’s annual charity fundraising event.

Missed out on this year’s deadline for entry applications? Then wrap up warm and watch safely from the sidelines as others work up a sweat for a good cause. Don’t forget to dig deep into your pockets for some well-deserved sponsorship money!

The Graham Sports Centre, Maiden Castle, 11AM. £5

Wed. 18 - Sat 21 Feb

Funny Girl

F

ollowing last year’s showstopping production of ‘Annie Get Your Gun’, the Trevelyan Musical Society promises yet another all-singing, all-dancing extravaganza, this time in the form of the semibiographical sixties Broadway sensation ‘Funny Girl’. The multi-award-winning musical tracks the fortunes of American comedienne and actress Fanny Brice in her relentless pursuit of stardom. A cure to any mid-term blues, this eagerlyanticipated production is sure to put a smile on the face of even the most over-stressed student.

Trevelyan College, 8PM. £6, £5 NUS or DST

Mon. 23 Feb

Silence on the Hill

I

f the novelty of DSU’s crowdpleasing silent discos hasn’t quite worn off yet, then this is a not-to-be-missed opportunity to put on your dancing shoes again for another night of noise-free fun.

Beat the Monday blues and make the trek up the hill as Trevelyan College opens up its hall to students across the university. All profits from the night go to DUCK and the bargain-priced tickets can be purchased on the door.

Trevelyan College, 8PM. £4

Art Sat. 14 Feb - Fri. 6 Mar

Ann Pi Palma An exhibition featuring contemporary and landscape art in a variety of mediums, encompassing watercolours, pastels and oils.

Botanical Gardens, 9.30AM 5PM. £1.50

Film Sat. 14 - Sun. 15 Feb

High School Musical 3 Loved and loathed in equal measure, the latest part of the franchise sees the super-clean teens hit senior year. Shown by the Bede Film Society.

Caedmon Hall, Hild Bede, 8.PM. £1 members, £2 non-members

Until Sat 28. Feb

Music Fri. 13 Feb

Fri. 13 Feb

Fri. 13 Feb

Mon. 16 Feb

Martin Taylor and Alison Burns Rising jazz vocalist Alison Burns and Grammy award-winning guitarist Martin Taylor plug their new album at the Gala for one night only!

Gala Theatre, 7.30PM. £12

County Durham Open Art Exhibitions Check out the first open-art exhibition for those living and working in the county, which explores the theme of ‘People, Lives and Places’.

Bishop Auckland Town Hall, 10AM - 4PM.

Minnikin The stomping ground formerly known as O’Neills follows their run of live music performances with a set by Minnikin, featuring classic and modern rock tracks, alongside originals.

Shamrox, 9PM. Free

Until Sat 28. Feb

Máire Ní Chathasaigh and Chris Newman An innovative blend of Irish dance music, jazz and bluegrass showcases in the Gala’s Studio, which offers views over Durham. Featuring M Máire, the Irish Traditional Musician of the Year 2001.

Gala Studio, 7.45PM. £9

Images of Paris Photography fans should head over to the Watergate Complex for a chance to view a selection of Michele Allan’s stunning pictures.

Clayport Library, 9.30AM 7PM.

Until Fri. 13 Mar

Rebecca Barclay The Canadian artist, who worked on the animation for family favourite ‘The Snowman’, presents an eclectic mix of pen and ink drawings of the Wear Valley, alongside oil paintings of musicians.

Trevelyan College, 10AM 6PM. Free

Until Fri. 20 Mar

I See, You Don’t See Photography exhibition by women involved with the GAP project, which studies Newcastle’s underbelly of sexual exploitation. Recordings provide a unique insight, as the women explain their work and discuss their personal stories.

Josephine Butler College, 9AM - 8PM. Free

Until Sun. 19 Apr

Bhutan: Spiritual Mountains British photographer Zoe Baddock exhibits pictures shot in the Kingdom of Bhutan, exploring spirituality and the environment.

Oriental Museum, 10AM - 5PM. £1.50

Sun. 15 Feb

Sun. 15 Feb

American Astronaut Quasi-surrealist fusion of sci-fi, Western and musical following a rogue space trader. Part of the Underground Screen Action Season.

Star and Shadow Cinema, Newcastle. 7.30PM. Price £tbc

Thu. 19 Feb

Sixty Six 2006 film starring Helena Bonham Carter in which the day of the ‘66 World Cup Final collides with the bar mitzvah of adolescent Bernie Reubens.

Bishop Auckland Town Hall, 7.30PM. £2.50

Sat. 21 - Sun. 22 Feb

Burn After Reading The Coen brothers’ 2008 black comedy with George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Tilda Swinton shows in Caedmon Hall.

Caedmon Hall, Hild Bede, 8.PM. £1 members, £2 non-members

Thu. 26 Feb

Black Gold Clayport Library screens this exposé on the multi-billion dollar coffee-growing industry as part of Fairtrade Fortnight.

Durham Clayport Library, 7.15PM. Free

Nightlife Jam Jah with Moira Stewart and Dancing on the Doctor A night of indie, electro-pop, plus experimental electronica and ambient sounds.

Alington House Community Centre, 8PM. £3

Losing My Edge A new underground indie club night at a student-only venue, promising cutting edge tracks.

Takes over from Moot’s old home.

King’s Manor, Newcastle, 10PM. Free

Mon. 23 Feb

Silence on the Hill The unmissable and everpopular silent disco re-locates to Trevs in aid of DUCK. See ‘Highlights This Fortnight’.

Trevelyan College, 8PM. £4

Chaucer’s ‘The Canterbury Tales’ The Hill College Theatre Company give six of Chaucer’s tales a refreshingly modern makeover, aiming to banish all memories of staid literature lessons back at school.

Sir James Knott Hall, Trevelyan College, 7.30PM. £6, £5 NUS or £4 DST.

Thu. 19 - Sat. 21 Feb

Sun. 15 Feb

Taster Scuba Dive A fully-qualified instructor will show you the ropes in a taster session, with all proceeds going directly to Grace House North East Children’s Hospice Appeal.

Aykley Heads Pool, 1PM-5PM. Suggested donation £10/ hour.

Fri. 20 Feb Subotica: Tayo’s Tracksuit Party International DJ Tayo brings his dubwise beats and breaks to the ‘Shack, with support from Joe Ransom and Marc Roberts. Don your trackies for the evening!

Loveshack, 10PM. £4, £5 after 11PM.

Fri. 13 - Sun. 15 Feb

Funny Girl Trevelyan College stage their long-awaited annual musical.

See ‘Highlights this Fortnight’.

Trevelyan College, 8PM. £6, £5 NUS or DST.

Ice Skating at Ushaw Put away the books for the weekend and head to Ushaw College to try your hand on their synthetic rink.

Ushaw College, 11AM-7PM. £5 for 30 mins.

Mon. 23 Feb

Stage

Wed. 18 - Sat. 21 Feb

Fri. 20 - Sun. 22 Feb

Sat. 21 Feb

X Factor Live!

Contestants from the hugely popular TV talent series tour the UK, performing fan favourites from the show. Unmissable for all irrepressible X-Factor addicts.

Metro Radio Arena, Newcastle, 7.30PM. £28.50

Durham Charity 5K Fun Run The annual fundraising event arrives at Maiden Castle. See ‘Highlights this Fortnight’.

The Graham Sports Centre, Maiden Castle, 11AM. £5

Sat. 21 Feb

Reel Big Fish The Californian ska-punk band tour the UK, following their 2007 top-40 album ‘Monkeys for Nothin’ and the Chimps for Free’ and ahead of their next album, to be released later this year.

O2 Academy Newcastle, 7PM. £13.70

Thu. 26 Feb

Sat. 14 Feb

Subotica: Logistics Subotica Monday’s latest offering features Logistics’ jazzed-up drum and bass.

With DJ Hawtmeister and The Iranian.

Loveshack, 10PM. £4, £5 after 11PM.

Mon. 16 Feb

Durham University Music Society Annual Concert The society’s annual concert arrives at Newcastle Cathedral, with a programme including Mozart, Chaminade and Stravinsky.

Conducted by Alistair Hardie.

Newcastle Cathedral, 7.30PM. £5

Sport

Basketball Eagles vs.

Everton Tigers Trophy Semi-Final The Eagles take on Everton in the semi-final. Not to be missed by basketball fans!

Metro Radio Arena, Newcastle, time TBC. £8

Sat. 21 Feb

Durham City AFC vs.

Chorley The Lancashire players roll up in Durham for the local footballers’ home game. Come and pledge your support for the local lads!

Arnott Stadium, Belmont Industrial Estate, 3PM. £3

Noises Off The delightfully-named STAB (Student Theatre at Butler) present Michael Frayn’s hilarious farce.

Howlands Events Hall, Josephine Butler College, 7.45PM. £5, £4 DST or £3 for Butler Freshers.

Fri. 10 - 21 Feb

West Side Story The beloved Broadway musical based on William Shakespeare’s ‘Romeo & Juliet’ hits Newcastle after an international tour, breathing fresh life into the show 50 years after its spectacular debut.

Newcastle Theatre Royal, 7.30PM. From £13.50

Fri. 20 Feb

Funny Bones Comedy Club This month’s comedy line-up features Karen Bayley, Ian Fox and Roland Gent, with support from guest compere James Mullinger.

Gala Theatre, 7.45PM. £8

Tue. 24 - Sat. 28 Feb

Betrayal One of the finest plays of the late Harold Pinter is performed at the Gala. The Nobel-prize winning playwright charts the emotional turbulence of a seven-year affair, beginning quite literally at the end and journeying back to the first adulterous kiss.

Gala Theatre, 7.30PM (+ 2.30PM Saturdays). £12

Talk Mon. 16 Feb

Human Rights: A Universal Language? Challenge and Obstacles in Iran Keynote speaker Roya Kashefi heads the human rights committee of the Association des Chercheurs Iraniens and has won acclaim worldwide for her films on contemporary Iranian politics.

Room 102, Al-Qasimi Buiding, 12PM

Mon. 16 Feb

The Best of Times, The Worst of Times: Men in Battle Richard Holmes discusses the experiences of men during wartime, following a career in which he has joined British troops in both the Balkans and Iraq.

Room 407, Calman Learning Centre, 6.30PM

Tue. 17 Feb

Passing into Poetry: Mortuary Theatre and the Afterlife in Viking Age Scandinavia Professor Price examines new research proposing that Viking funeral ceremonies may have encompassed elements of ‘mortuary theatre’; ritual plays which took place at the graveside.

Seminar Room 1, Department of History, 5.30PM

Other Sat. 14 Feb

Durham Book Fair Bookworms will love this collection of antiquarian and secondhand books. Includes maps and prints. Organised by the Provincial Booksellers Association.

Durham County Hall, 10AM4PM. £1

Sat. 14 Feb

Middle East African Banquet Exotic food, live music, a disco and bar feature at this charity benefit, held in aid of the Durham Palestinian Trust and Ruth First Educational Trust.

Durham Town Hall, 7-11PM. £14

Sat. 14 Feb

Valentine’s Ball Loved-up students should head to Ushaw College for a 3-course meal with entertainment provided by a live band.

Ushaw College, 7-11PM. £25

Sat. 14 Feb

Valentine’s Evening Alternatively, couples should take a trip to the Hardwick Hall Hotel for a 3-course meal, a bottle of wine and music provided by the resident pianist.

Hardwick Hall Hotel, Sedgfield, 7.30PM. £20.95

Wed. 18 Feb

Human Uniqueness and Diversity in Aristotle A public lecture considering Aristotle’s ideas on anthropology, with poetry as a test case representing a type of unique yet universal human behaviour.

Ritson Room, Department of Classics, 5.30PM

Thu. 19 Feb

Humanising ‘The Other’: Immigrants, Asylum Seekers and Refugees Politcally-minded students should join Professor Abye Tasse in a pubic lecture looking at the way in which immigration controls have created the notion of ‘The Other’.

Room 231, Elvet Riverside.

6.15PM

Fri. 20 Feb

Colpitts Poetry: Jen Hadfield and Paul Batchelor Literature students shouldn’t miss this reading from a pair of award-winning poets.

Alington House, North Bailey, 8PM. £2.50

12

INDIGO

Friday 13 February 2009 palatinate.org.uk

MUSIC music@palatinate.org.uk

MUSIC

Waves of talent

Palatinate reviews the latest chart singles

The new NME tour introduces many great bands to look out for in the year ahead

Metronomy Thing For You ««««« “I’ve got a thing for you, you’ve got a thing for me” - the fact that the hook is both largely recycled from their last single, Heartbreaker, and extremely annoying, does little to stop Metronomy’s new single getting into the blood. The electro-popsters are nothing new – those screaming helium-high vocals are becoming really tired – but the bouncing keyboard and urgent lyrics make for an irritating infectiousness.

Ndubz Strong Again ««««« Another offering from this North Londonbased hip hop trio, a single not unlike their others. A theme seen again and again, an attempt to depict how hard life has been, “but life, it will only get better”, as the saying goes. The track once again sees the band combine a variety of musical genres; electro beats mixed with hip hop. Draped in their signature sound, their catchy chorus will have you humming all day.

Justice Tthhee Ppaarrttyy ««««« This new one from the Parisian duo featuring Uffie is simply a disappointment.

It seems to be building up to something that never comes, remaining painfully mediocre throughout. It still contains their funky bass and underlying noise; good enough to have a sway to on the dance floor, but it lacks the ‘oomph’ heard in Justice’s other music.

T.I. and Justin Timberlake Dead and Gone ««««« Produced by Timbaland and Justin, this song features a solid beat with some piano chords and intertwining strings. It begins simply with T.I. and the piano before launching into classical Justin with the catchy chorus. Lyrically, T.I. talks about a lot of things that he went through in his life in a manner that brings a lot of substance to the song. As always T.I. and Justin work superbly together, this time to produce a more haunting, resolute sound leading them to yet another hit.

Sky Larkin Beeline ««««« Fresh from last year’s tour with Conor Oberst, the hotly tipped Leeds threepiece Sky Larkin are oozing pop-punk energy in the frenetic second single from their debut album The Golden Spike.

Frenzied drums compete with the raw edge of singer Katie’s yelping vocals (a la Ida Maria) to create an exciting, original track which gets the foot tapping.

Definitely a band to watch.

Daniel Merriweather Change ««««« Change, is the lead single taken from Merriweather’s debut album, Love and War. It is a typically snazzy Ronson production; there are horns and lightly funky beats, although slightly more unexpected is the cameo from rapper Wale. The slick soul-pop vocals, trademark of Merriweather, gives this song its slight individuality, but it’s nothing too exciting.

Little Boots Stuck on Repeat ««««« Probably the most hyped act of 2009, singer and keyboard-player Victoria Hesketh certainly has some boots to fill.

Surprisingly, the stunning single from the new darling of electro merits the media accolades. Lush, dreamy vocals layered above pumping synth-pop yield comparisons to Kylie Minogue and Goldfrapp.

Though knocked out of Pop Idol at 16, Vesketh’s sound is now perfected; clean and shiny, Little Boots is polished and set for stardom.

FLICKR ID: AURELIAN

Singles

Snow Patrol If There’s a Rocket, Tie me to it ««««« There’s hardly a lack of sentimental folk these days; if you’re after a bit of acoustic strumming, soft singing and regional accents, you could do so much better than the banal Snow Patrol. The new single is standard fare. Singer Gary Lightbody croons the sickly sweet story (“I found a hair the length of yours on my sleeve”) with gormless abandon in a slow opening verse, before the guitars kick in for a rousing chorus. Bland, but bound to be a hit.

Passion Pit Sleepyhead ««««« For those who have not heard of Passion Pit, they are a five-piece American electro band formed in 2007. This infectious single contains samples of the song Oro Mo Bhaidin by Irish harpist Mary O’Hara, adding the edge which is lacking in many of the so-called electro bands around at present. You just cannot help but bop your head along to this.

Watch out for their debut album due to be released sometime in 2009.

Eminem feat. Dr Dre and 50 Cent Crack a Bottle ««««« Shady’s back, all over again, with upcoming album Relapse to be released sometime in the first quarter of the year.

Crack a Bottle, leaked online in January, is classic Em. Brass and piano groove up the beat while Shady spits the same old wit (“so crack a bottle, let your body waddle/ Don’t act like a sloppy model, you just hit the lotto”). Verses from Dre and Fiddy mix it up, although not in terms of content – it’s still all booze, bitches and the Benz.

Emmy the Great First Love ««««« Forget Laura Marling, Charlie of Noah and the Whale’s ex-girlfriend and collaborator Emmy the Great far surpasses her blonder singer-songwriter rival.

While past solo recordings have edged on the suffocatingly twee, her new backing band lend a dark intensity to the fragile, potentially cutesy melody of First Love. Emmy’s tale of claustrophobic young romance hits the spot (“I wish I’d never met you that day you said you had a room and music to play”) and the haunting build up is spine-tingling. She even gets away with borrowing from the chorus of Hallelujah.

Poppy McPherson and Shern Bhadresa

NME Shockwaves Tour The Carling Academy Newcastle «««««

I

nstead of repeating my usual, dreary Sunday night routine of doggedly trying to find anything at all to watch on the TV, on 1st February, along with streams of other eager and excited fans I packed into the cosy venue of The Carling Academy in Newcastle - eagerly anticipating a mammoth four hour spectacle of the most up and coming bands of 2009.

Kicking off ‘The NME Shockwaves Tour’ with a bang was the quirky sound of Florence and the Machine, whose album is set to be released later this year.

Her unique vocals, quirky personality and the band’s strong funky beats got the crowd pumped and moving their feet. You couldn’t help but dance to such tracks as the addictive Dog Days and Kiss With A Fist, which I’m sure will make this band a hit nationwide in the near future.

Next up on the bill was White Lies, undoubtedly the most exciting band of the year so far. They wowed the crowd with hits from their debut, chart-topping album To Lose My Life Or Lose My Love.

In particular, stand-out tracks Death and

To Lose My Life got everyone jumping in the air and chanting along to their catchy choruses.

Their cool and contemporary sound make this class act one to keep an eye on.

They will surely be on everyone’s iPods in no time at all.

“this tour was one of the most enjoyable gigs I’ve ever been to with the variety of bands set to make shockwaves on the music scene” Despite this amazing performance, my favourite act of the night had to be Friendly Fires. With their unique blend of indie and dance, their tunes had the hoards of fans at fever pitch. All went wild for recent hits such as Jump In The Pool, Paris and Lovesick, which have earned this band well-deserved critical acclaim.

They were by far the highlight in en-

tertainment as front-man Ed Macfarlane raved away on stage and jeered up the audience, all of whom were also dancing so vigorously that it made the likes of a jam-packed Klute dance floor look relatively tame.

If you’ve never experienced this band before, they are most certainly not to be missed!

Headliners of the night were Glaswegian band and NME favourite Glasvegas. They owned the stage as their huge swarm of fans chanted the lyrics of their biggest hits, notably Daddy’s Gone and Geraldine. However, even though they were most established band of the night, they failed to excite with some mellow songs and simplistic instrumentals.

They were somewhat of disappointment, leaving me gagging for the return of the funky, upbeat sounds of the previous bands.

Nevertheless, this tour was one of the most enjoyable gigs I’ve ever been to with the variety of bands set to make shockwaves on the music scene this year, and most likely - with their amount of talent - for many years to come. I have to say that was the best time I’ve ever had on a Sunday night by far!

Robyn Owens

Friday 13 February 2009 palatinate.org.uk

MUSIC music@palatinate.org.uk

INDIGO 13

MUSIC

Album reviews Palatinate takes a look at a couple of new albums from the likes of Lily Allen and The Long Lost

P

oor Lily. The pop starlet has had something of a rollercoaster couple of years since her 2006 rise to prominence.

Yet Allen’s much awaited second album, It’s Not me, It’s You, is an impres-

The Long Lost The Long Lost Ninja Tune «««««

O

ne glance at the self-titled album cover, a man and woman sporting eighteenth century attire complete with ukulele and romantic pastoral setting, and I sensed this husband-and-wife duo, who hail from Santa Monaco in California, were

SIMON EMMET

Lily Allen It’s Not Me, It’s You EMI «««««

sive collection of highly-charged lyrics and finely wrought melodies about the concrete facts of life. Allen is by turns frank, cynical, satiric, melancholic and downright incensed, about subjects ranging from how we’ve become a pill-popping nation to the shallowness of celebrity culture to, damnit, an unsatisfactory lover.

Indeed, in Not Fair, she ingeniously complains: “Oh you’re supposed to care / But you never make me scream / But you never make me scream / Oh it’s not fair”.

This sophomore effort contains less of the heavily ska-influenced and soul tracks of Alright, Still, but rather a broader scope encompassing upbeat Britpop, country, little electro-ditties, and warm, folksy harmonies.

It’s Not Me, It’s You is such an uncanny testament to what everyone is thinking, but no one is saying. Its eclectic rhythms, dry wit, and punctuated beats of the album make this release an absolute must-hear.

Allen’s rhymes are still as sharp and surprising as they were before, but its mood is more mature, adopting a reflecprobably one of those arty alternative ‘let’s make a statement’ types.

Wary, I wasn’t sure I’d be a fan. Proven wrong on listening, I was surprised to find myself drawn into their experimental electro-acoustic sound world.

It’s true that they are aiming for that left-of-centre image and the track Cat Fancy, which uses samples of a women talking about Thistle the Cat, tries just a little too hard to be different.

But it’s hard not to get drawn in with the compelling narrative vocal and hypnotic rhythmic beats. Effectively a group of love poems, there is a refreshing absence of the clichés and insincere offerings that prevail in the mainstream.

Here instead, love is not described with glib sentiment but with touching realism, “his toothbrush is blue/ Mine is too” (in the duet Domestics).

High school sweethearts who met through their school band (they play the featured instrumental parts), the upbeat Ballroom Dance Club is a reference to the classes Alfred (aka artist and producer ‘Daedelus’) and Laura Darlington used to

Ninja Tune

‘Mon the Biffy

tive but sanguine approach to human vicissitudes. The problems of society are such that, as she asserts in The Fear: “I don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore / And I don’t know how I’m meant to feel anymore”. Is it ever possible to avoid the moral quagmire of contemporary culture when, “Life’s about film stars and less about mothers / It’s all about fast cars and cussing each other”?

That there is a song for every emotion, from the wistful piano-led I Could Say to the pumping trance-like Back to the Start to the mellow purity of Who’d Have Known, demonstrates Allen’s continued ability to transcend pop stereotypes.

Someone has to tell it like it is, she seems to be saying, and if you don’t agree, so what? After all, It’s Not me, It’s You. Allen’s wonderfully clear notes, her voice both vulnerable and commanding, accentuates the essentially earthy allure of this bright young thing. It’s Not Me, It’s You heralds a welcome return to the musical fore.

Francesca Teoh

attend together after school.

A collection of separate miniature stories, they are all tied together by her great vocal delivery. Ethereal and at times amost impassive, she acts as both intimate lover and detached narrator.

Heavy listening, you won’t find yourself humming the songs to yourself and if it’s catchy hooks you’re after then it’s not for you.

The almost claustrophobic repetitiveness of the melody lines can be overbearing in their persistence. Delicate yet powerful, the songs require your full attention; an often unwanted intrusion to the listener.

Taking itself slightly too seriously, you can appreciate the innovation and cleverness of The Long Lost - but cleverness is not always what you want out of music and I found myself longing for some generic pop to idly sing along to.

Tinged with melancholy, it won’t exactly get you in the mood to party but with Valentine’s Day just around the corner it’s definitely one for the hopeless romantics out there.

Victoria Taylor

At the close of last year, Palatinate went to review Biffy Clyro and expectations were high

«««««

A

fter the customary end of term essay deadline rush with which most Durham students are familiar, I was very much looking forward to going to see Biffy Clyro.

As a Biffy fan of around four years, expectations were especially high. Simon Neil and co. have had a busy year and a half, appearing at countless festivals and supporting the likes of Muse, The Red Hot Chilli Peppers and The Rolling Stones (to name but a few) following the release and huge commercial success of their fourth album, Puzzle.

When the lights dropped to chants of “‘mon the Biffy!” the atmosphere was on fire. There was an immediate sense of spectacle as the band came on with Living’s a Problem Because Everything Dies;

with its jerky one-and-a-half-minute introduction and a string quartet as backup, all behind a translucent white curtain, the band was made into giant silhouettes in front of flashes of white light.

Since the release of mainstream breakthrough Puzzle, it seems the Biffy audience has changed. Where before it consisted of diehard fans who knew the first three albums back to front - even down to singing along with guitar riffs now there is an obvious smattering of fans enticed by the extensive radio play Biffy’s new material has enjoyed over the past 18 months.

After four Puzzle tracks in a row, I was worried the band might only be catering to the new team of fans and alienating their more longstanding fan base (something which, I feel, they have been guilty of in the past).

Alas, I realised my worries were unfounded when the band launched into the melodic opener Joy. Discovery. Invention. from their debut album Blackened

THOMAS KJÆR

Biffy Clyro Manchester Academy

Sky, with a chorus of fans so loud frontman Simon Neil stepped back to let the audience’s voices resonate through the packed academy.

Simon Neil is renowned for his strong silence, only pausing briefly to give sincere thanks to the audience and the support acts. But what he may lack in charisma he makes up for in vigour; tearing from song to song with such passion it seemed this could have been his last show.

But Neil truly came into his own with a two-song acoustic interlude. The audience were treated to an unexpected surprise in the shape of Folding Stars, the delicate ballad about the death of Neil’s mother.

Due to its difficult subject matter, Neil declared it would be the last time they’d play the song at Leeds Festival 2007, a show I was witness to, so this was certainly unexpected. The song was followed by a flawless rendition of Machines, displaying a rarely-seen tender edge to the band.

The band carried on packing the

punches with tracks from every corner of their extensive back catalogue, wrapping up with the unexpected finale Now The Action Is On Fire. The song was greeted with a mixed response from the audience, as one of the band’s less conventional choices to end the show with.

Despite this, the live string accompaniment made for a powerful finale, topped off by Simon Neil’s running jump to scale the seven-foot gap separating stage and audience, leaving him floating on a sea of ardent fans.

All in all, despite my personal tendency to begrudge Puzzle, Biffy Clyro did not disappoint. Yes, they could have left out a few newer tracks in favour of some of the grittier older material, but the charm of Biffy Clyro makes it impossible not to have a great night at one of their shows.

If they carry on doing shows like this, I can’t help but think university shows will be a thing of the past in favour of bigger venues. In short, they’re a great live band.

Katy Meehan

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Friday 13th February 2008 palatinate.org.uk

BOOKS books@palatinate.org.uk

INDIGO 15

BOOKS

Life is a Cabaret From a Bohemian bar in Berlin, Ralph Williams confirms that Isherwood’s short stories capture the capital’s gritty essence

I

SHERWOOD’S TRAIN ROLLS into 1930’s Berlin and unwittingly he enters a city undergoing the most radical transformation of modern Europe. >>>The pre-WWII Hauptstadt is as exciting as it is depraved yet stands on the verge of Nazism and the social clean-up it will bring. Hitler’s dark shadow looms over idealistic communists in dirty bars, sexual depravity spills onto the streets alongside political demonstrations and Jews spend fearful hours in expensive suburban mansions. >>>As a member of the city’s carefree Anglo-American crowd, Isherwood records his experiences from the distance of decadent expat bars and the proximity of passionate ‘Hammer and Sickle’ rallies. >>>Six short stories capture the historically significant period between late 1930 and early 1933. Although a loose plot with recurring characters does run through the pages, a sense of disarray and temporal confusion, mirrored in the chaotic nature of the city, define the overwhelming sense of the book. >>>The collection features people who would be at most risk from Nazi intimidation and to meet them, Isherwood flits between the company of wealthy Jewish capitalists and provocative communist brothel-owners. >>>Goodbye to Berlin inspired Bob Fosse’s 1972 film Cabaret and Liza Minnelli’s notorious character is launched in the aptly named story Sally Bowles. Her obvious sexuality coupled with a complete lack of regard for her actions’ consequences bestow the ‘divinely decadent’ Sally with an allure that is even stronger in words than it is on screen. If Fitzgerald’s anti-heroines were dirtier and sang in bars they would convey some of the magic of

Fraulein Bowles. >>>A horde of other interesting and entertaining characters represent the rest of Isherwood’s vision of Berlin’s population.

Two earnest members of Berlin’s affluent yet ultimately doomed Jewish population invite the author to experience the more sophisticated side of the capital’s culture. >>>The landlady Fraulein Schröder, also recognisable from Cabaret, provides humour to the set of stories and a roof over Isherwood’s head. On Rogen Island offers

“disarray and temporal confusion mirrored in the chaotic nature of the city” an insight into the gay holiday romance between an unlikely couple Peter and Otto, made all the more notable in light of the rise of the Third Reich. >>>The Berlin Stories was definitely the most interesting read amongst the preparation literature for my year abroad in Berlin (the British Council’s ‘Your Assistantship Abroad’ and MLAC’s handbook fell short). >>>Despite the seventy years difference between our stays here, Isherwood’s Berlin seems surprisingly present. It’s still impossible to go anywhere in this city without meeting an English-speaking expatriate. >>>Underground culture is alive and well: art displayed in rusty garages and unlikely

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street corners; the best clubs in dark cellars or disused warehouses. Unsurprisingly, Berliners are now even more political than us (however, radicalism has mostly been replaced with a liberal outlook and a keen interest in American policy). Yet my favourite characteristic of the city, which Isherwood and I love so much, is its complete acceptance of its own shady sub-cultures.

“Berliners are now even more political than us (however, radicalism has mostly been replaced with a liberal outlook and a keen interest in American policy)” >>>Prostitutes resembling Barbie tout their wares alongside yuppies paying 10 euros a drink; the bald man with Doc-Martens in the next seat on the U-Bahn could be planning a Nazi meeting in Lichtenberg or to dance to techno with his boyfriend in Berghain. >>>With such vibrant, seedy and fascinating surroundings, it doesn’t seem too romantic to think that one’s own version of Isherwood’s stories could come from a year abroad in Berlin.

Poetry Corner The Painter

By Fabianna Harrington Blue sensations dance and breathe, Through the skies and interweave, The heavenly mountains iced by snow, The placid lake and its underflow.

The silence in this turquoise dome With echoing drips of melting ice.

A place untouched by man’s dark greed, Balancing energies: flux, monotony.

Then suddenly he looks upon the blue: And all his senses interchange The colours, tastes and sounds explode And a powerful note is borne at once A friction like the cello’s bow, Sings where the water meets the air And in they fly the zealous winds; With the acrobatic shrills of violins His soul awakens and joins the dance, His paintbrush flicking in a trance.

Licking the colours from the scene, Raw sensations – reality or a dream?

A tactile realm of innumerable textures How blind to this world he had been!

The sun’s finger tips play on the water, The undulating piano comes to life: It is so clear to him now – he watches as The sky is like the cathedral’s dome Echoing with the purest voices of nature, The winds are preachers from distant lands, The sun’s reflections are like the stained glass, The mountains are the walls, the rocks are bricks, And through our creativity we are praying And like the Divine master – we are creating.

His paintbrush falls, he trembles and sits.

Looking at the sky he embraces the moment.

The canvas swarms with colours and life, A snippet, of this endless picture, Like an atom trembling, it joins the mass.

16 INDIGO

Friday 13 February 2009 palatinate.org.uk

FILM AND TELEVISION film@palatinate.org.uk

FILM AND TELEVISION

Feature film reviews Palatinate takes a look at some of the latest film releases including Valkyrie and Woody Allen’s Vicky Cristina Barcelona Valkyrie Dir. Bryan Singer Star. Tom Cruise, Kenneth Branagh «««««

A

FTER LOSING HIS right hand and left eye fighting in Tunisia, Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg (Cruise) joins a group of German soldiers and politicians in a plot to assassinate Hitler and use Operation Valkyrie to mobilise the Reserve Army to take control of Berlin.

Some of the conspirators want to prevent further loss of life by ending the war, while for others the most important reason for killing Hitler is “to show the world that not all of us were like him.”

“...the film has attracted a highquality cast...”

Many films telegraph their endings to astute viewers within the first five minutes, but any film dealing with well-known historical events is particularly likely to find itself hamstrung by the fact that everybody knows the ending in advance. Valkyrie

Vicky Cristina Barcelona Dir. Woody Allen Star. Scarlett Johansson, Penélope Cruz, Javier Bardem, Rebecca Hall

W

OODY ALLEN CONTINUES his efforts to move away from his typical New York films by creating this story beautifully shot in Barcelona. On the day of its release the cinemas of Barcelona were sold out in anticipation of finding out how Woody would portray Spain.

Disappointingly, the scenes of Barcelona focus on the typical tourist hot-spots and much of the real city seen in Pot Luck is neglected in favour of scenes in countryside retreats.

However, the film ultimately focuses on two American friends who are tourists themselves, thus we get to experience the Barcelona that they do. The two polaropposite friends are sensible Vicky (Hall) who tries to persuade us she is happy with her boring fiancé whilst playful, fun loving photographer Cristina (Johans-

touches on events that are better-known than most, and the inevitability of the finale is an obstacle it never quite manages to overcome, even in the thrilling third act.

Predictable or not, the film has attracted a high-quality cast. There is a pool of senior British actors who have become today’s character actors of choice, and it seems like they’ve all somehow managed to find their way into Valkyrie: Kenneth Branagh, Tom Wilkinson, Terrence Stamp, and a cadaverous-looking Bill Nighy.

Sadly, their talents are largely wasted on thinly-drawn characters, with the available screen-time spread over too many conspirators.

It is questionable whether the presence of so many big names derives from a desire to give all the major players in the assassination plot due credit, or merely to get as many bums on seats as possible.

Given the depth of character that Bryan Singer brought to the superhero genre with his X-Men films, it is a shame that he wastes so much dramatic potential here.

It is difficult, consequently, to sympathise with many of von Stauffenberg’s co-conspirators. Eddie Izzard (excellent in a rare serious role as a reluctant sympathiser) is perhaps overly harsh when he describes them as “rats jumping from a sinking ship”, but it is hard not to ask why they did not take such decisive action son) is set to take on any adventure. In Barcelona the girls find the opportunity to experience a different life beyond marvelling at the Sagrada Familia and tucking into tapas.

The instigator of their adventure is Juan Antonio (Bardem), a suave painter.

Bardem has to work hard to avoid appearing to be the stereotypical Latin lover, especially after his first scene where he propositions the girls after only seeing them from across the room. Following Cristina’s lead the girls take up the offer.

As the title suggests, the characters become entwined with each other and the city. The relationships become more entangled upon the arrival of Juan Antonio’s ex-wife, the passionate and unstable Maria Elena (Cruz).

The star of the show is undoubtedly Cruz. She is able to bring plenty of humour to her fiery character whilst keeping a straight face. Bardem also puts in an impressive performance so that the Spaniards soon upstage the Americans.

It is the film’s loss that Cruz does not turn

film at the death. Earlier moments (a swastika design on the bottom of a pool, a spinning Wagner record) show that he hasn’t lost his visual flair, but it is in the wake of the assassination attempt that he really comes through. Given that the ending is a foregone conclusion, it is to Singer’s credit that he manages to ratchet up so much tension in getting there.

“...the polar opposite of Singer’s previous film Superman Returns”

before the tide of the war turned against Germany.

Perhaps, though, such cynical (and potentially disrespectful) questions are the film’s fault, stretching our credulity too far by frequently making it seem as though Tom Hollander was the only man in Germany actually on Hitler’s side.

By far the most sympathetic character, in fact, is Thomas Kretschmann’s worldweary Reserve Army officer, the man

up sooner.

The film plays with interesting stereotypes and viewers are likely to end up questioning their original judgements of the characters. They may end up sym-

given the near-impossible task of carrying out Operation Valkyrie. The story of the people at ground level, having to interpret conflicting orders in the hopes of both doing the right thing and ending up on the winning side, is far more involving than that of the people at the top.

Singer, returning to the Third Reich a decade after he directed Ian McKellen as an elderly Nazi war criminal in Apt Pupil, fortunately rescues his seventh feature

Valkyrie can perhaps be seen as the polar opposite of Singer’s previous film, Superman Returns (proven by scientists with clipboards to be more divisive than Marmite).

His superhero epic, for all the excitement and character work of its first half, was considered a let-down overall for the lack of action which followed; Valkyrie by contrast is largely dull and superficial in the build-up, but its gripping third act is its saving grace.

Guy Lawrence

pathising with those whom they originally didn’t like.

The plot is entertaining rather than believable. If looked at more closely it can be seen to deal with some deeper issues

when Maria Elena questions whether it is only unfulfilled love that can be romantic.

The relationships are, at times, scarcely credible, especially the friendship between Vicky and Cristina. Vicky accompanies Cristina mostly in order to keep an eye on her, as the latter would not think twice about getting them both into precarious situations. A more believable relationship is that between Cruz and Bardem, who of course have worked together before.

A narration by actor Christopher Evan Welch adds additional humour when it cuts in to introduce scenes. It is not necessary for the story line but it encourages the feeling that the film moves along at a pacy rate. The chosen music identifies the film as one of Woody Allen’s and is infused with Spanish guitars.

It is ultimately the performances that Allen has brought out of the actors which make this film worth seeing; left in the hands of other actors the film may have struggled to rate a star.

Poppy Macleod

Television preview Ben Swales discusses the hit American series Mad Men which returns to BBC4 this week for its second series

A

NYBODY EVER HEARD of AMC? Me neither. However, in 2007 this little known cable company from Virginia stunned the television world with its first ever original programme: Mad Men. At the 2008 Golden Globes it was a shock winner, beating shows like House, Grey’s Anatomy and The Tudors in the ‘Best Drama’ category and making a repeat performance in 2009. The second series started on BBC4 on 10th February, so you can catch it on iPlayer – do so.

If you haven’t watched the first series, don’t worry too much – this is an American show, so no matter how intelligent it is, all the characters have to be re-introduced in the first episode of series two (Series one is cheaply available on DVD and well worth the time and money).

Set in 1960s Manhattan, Mad Men gives a sort of social commentary on a racist, anti-

Semitic, sexist, homophobic and overtly patriarchal society in post-war America, all from the perspective of the employees of ‘Sterling Cooper’, a fictional advertising agency.

These employees make up one of the best casts on TV anywhere, headed by the brilliant John Hamm as ‘Creative Director’ Don Draper. Hamm’s character is from the same school of coolness as Hugh Laurie’s Greg House; a dark, confident, troubled genius, both feared and admired by his colleagues. Unlike House though, Draper has heart and is easier to like; he’s a family man, an all American war hero – the strong silent type.

The self-made Draper contrasts brilliantly with some of the other characters on the show, mainly the greasy, nepotistic Pete Campbell, a spoilt society brat who got where he is because of his parents.

Then of course we have the women, the two main characters being ‘the new girl’ Peggy Olson (Elizabeth Moss) and the office manager Joan Holloway (Christina Hendricks).

Holloway is a social climber, using her femininity to get ahead; Olson is a new woman, diligent and studious – she’s practically a man by 1960s standards and she’s often treated like one. On top of these is Draper’s wife, Betty (January Jones), the sort of ‘desperate housewife’, almost childlike and very troubled. Indeed, the whole ensemble is excellent; none of the characters are simply plucked from the shelves of generic drama, none of them are obvious.

In fact, none of Mad Men is obvious, and what distances it from many of its rival dramas is its realism. For example: in the first series we follow the 1960 Kennedy/

Nixon election, as well as many famous advertising campaigns. The first realisations of the health implications of smoking and the ‘teenager’ phenomenon are also touched on. With creator Matthew Weiner (partly responsible for the genius ‘The Sopranos’) at the helm, we can expect nothing less than intensely watchable, relevant television from the second series.

I think Mad Men lets us look at our modern society too. In the first episode there’s a brilliant line from Draper when he’s explaining how culture is driven by advertising: “I’m living like there’s no tomorrow… because there isn’t one”.

On the whole, we have continued to live like there’s no tomorrow ever since the booming 50s and 60s, consumerism rules the day and even politics is governed by big business – just look at all those banks being bailed out at the minute.

C M Y K

FILM AND TELEVISION film@palatinate.org.uk

Friday 13 February 2009 palatinate.org.uk

INDIGO 17

FILM AND TELEVISION

Feature film review Palatinate assesses Doubt, the 5-time Academy Award-nominated Hollywood offering Doubt Dir. John P. Shanley Star. Meyl Streep, Philip S. Hoffman ÂŤÂŤÂŤÂŤÂŤ

T

HERE ARE SO many blockbusters to choose from at the moment that it seems difficult to know which one to start with. Doubt is just one of those; nominated for five Academy awards and three Baftas. It has a line-up of stunningly good actors, with Meryl Streep, Philip Seymour Hoffman and Amy Adams in leading roles. >>>Yet the advert makes it look like some Puritan costume drama. Starkly presenting the life of the Church it portrays, the film presents the strict Catholic congregation of St Nicholas’ Church in New York’s deprived Bronx, attached to the local school under the iron-fist of the nun Sister Aloysius Beauvier (Meryl Streep). >>>Her name is frightening and indeed Sister Aloysius Beauvier was the most frightening form of schoolmistress. The film was not worth missing, as cinemagoers were taken back to school quivering with fear at the formidable Director, whose interaction with the children brought some very touchingly funny moments.

What makes the film so good are the many layers of plot that develop. Originally a stage play by John Patrick Shanley, he took up the task of directing the film. The new priest Father Flynn (Philip Seymour Hoffman) is an inspirational leader, loved

by his congregation and the children of the school for his inspirational and personal modes of teaching. >>>His suspiciously close relationship with a Black boy Donald Miller develops into a personal attack by Sister Aloysius to get him sacked. Based on her doubts and not her proof, the story opens up countless questions of morality, religion, education and homosexuality.

The screen-play vividly brought across the essence of meanness and decay in

the life of St. Nicholas church and school.

The vision was unromantic, away from the glitz and glamour of many Hollywood films. In the Church, the choir of children shouted hymns, whilst concealed from the congregation the damp vestry concealed peeling mint-green wallpaper. Sister Aloysius provided stoic strength in her care for the decaying old nuns who needed help with eating their rank meals. Moments of tension were exacerbated not by glorious music, but by the sudden flash of a broken

light-bulb. >>>The play is filled with strong Oscarnominated performances. Miles away from her glory in Mamma Mia, Meryl Streep plays a complex character bound by her Stoic religious conviction, cold and determined, dry and comic, she hides a sad past. >>>She shows courage in her determination to pursue Father Flynn from a weaker position in the Church hierarchy. She has no proof, but she stands by her religious

morals and convictions. Her rigidness has been part of her firm hold upon the school and she sticks by this. >>>In turn, Philip Seymour Hoffman plays a charming, inspirational leader who brings life back to the Church. He has the art of concealing what happened between the boy and himself, even when asked directly. The skill of the plot is that it keeps us guessing what he has actually done. >>>The naive young nun Sister James (Amy Adams) and the mother of the boy, Mrs Miller (Viola Davies) both add moving moral dimensions to the film. At the end, I was left uncomfortable in my seat, unable to put the blame on any character and having to deal with a surprising number of conundrums about religion and morals. >>>There may be some people who have had enough of religion and homosexuality and indeed these are central elements of the play. Yet the film is beautifully done, with some great stylised moments. Take for example Sister Aloysius’ first scene, where all we see is the back of her head wrapping boys’ backs with a cane as they fall asleep in sermon. This is a great moment of school-mistress comedy. >>>The film actually got people laughing out loud, which is a rare event in the cinema. Most of all, this film is worth seeing because of the quality of the acting. There is no weak link, with a number of moving performances.

Caecilie Hobhouse

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STAGE stage@palatinate.org.uk

Friday 13 February 2009 palatinate.org.uk

INDIGO 19

STAGE

A ration of laughter

Review

Palatinate cocks an ear to the sounds of the 1940s courtesy of Arizona Bay Productions’s latest radio play idea that this was all part of the artistic intention. But in many ways this same air of relaxation proved to be the key to the evening. So committed to entertainment was the collection of actors, comics, and rather talented sound technicians, that once the audience relaxed as well, the whole tone became one of good, honest fun and we were allowed to wallow in the life-affirming inanity. >>>There was an excellent collection of comic songs (some adapted, some new) on subjects such as the French attitude to resistance and just what a Nazi East End might have been like. However, as you might expect and hope for in a radio comedy, the best bits came largely in the guise of audio jokes. >>>The comic timing of the WitTank brigade was reinforced by a series of truly ridiculous noises from the other cast members’ throats, and even better ones from Rebecca Thursten’s collection of bells, whistles and melons. Indeed Thursten’s use of everyday artefacts has to go down as the highlights of the show, partly because they were the moments that really made use of the whole ‘this is a radio show, but you’re watching it’ dynamic. >>>Certainly as a late-night Radio 4 listener myself, I appreciated this awareness of the absurdity of the situation. It is genuinely funny to take an established form and work out the humour of transposing it into a setting which gives its audience a fresh perspective, though perhaps the production missed a trick by not seeming to really seek to make this the centre of the evening.

Matt Dale-Harris

The 1940s Arizona Bay Productions The Assembly Rooms «««««

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RIZONA BAY PRODUCTIONS are carving out a niche for themselves in the Durham theatrical world with a refreshing brand of industrious, unpretentious comedy. >>>A mere Christmas break after their last production, the virtuous if modest Microcomedy, script-writers Donnchadh O’Conaill and Michael Umney returned to the Assembly Rooms stage with their newest experiment in comic form: a live radio play for a live audience. >>>In The 1940s we were presented with a chaotic and at times nightmarish tour through an imagined world of the Second World War. Flitting between the stiff Radio 4 impressions of Stevie Martin’s BBC radio presenter and the host of Nazi Cockneys and seedy Yanks presented by the other rather unhinged cast members, the script jumped around the subject of humanity’s most costly war with a hunger and energy that charmed even as it offended. It was crisp, genuinely funny, and you understood very clearly that they were making it up as they went along. >>>This was not a polished production: not all the jokes hit their mark, and the style seemed at times to encourage a certain casualness. There was definitely a feeling of under-rehearsal and when not at the microphones, the cast seemed to rather forget that it was not part of the audience, without really putting across the

Comedy for a Quid Durham Review The Assembly Rooms «««««

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OMEDY FOR A QUID: caveat emptor, perhaps, but undoubtedly a cunning marketing strategy for a troupe who need to sell a lot of tickets for next month’s ComedyFest at the Gala. >>>This was undoubtedly an improvement on last term’s show, most notably in terms of the individual performances, which showed a great deal of confidence and energy. Tom Lyons displayed an excellent use of bodily and facial expressions, particularly during a lovely silent cameo in the Crimewatch UK spoof. The most improved of the newcomers was Matt Mulligan, who shone as the unfaithful husband dialling an e-confessional.

The year so far...

Sophie Zeldin O’Neill reviews the opening weeks of Epiphany theatre

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HE ASSEMBLY ROOMS have been something of a tardis this term, transporting audiences everywhere from Danish castles in Kieran Sims’ much-anticipated production of Hamlet to a 1940s radio recording studio for Donnchadh O’Conaill and Michael Umney’s achingly funny 1940s, and back again via a Catholic confessional in one of the Revue’s best shows yet.

and auditory feast was performed with outstanding professionalism and verve which left seven-performances-worth of audience members salsa dancing their way out of the Gala.

“Durham students are firmly establishing themselves as some of the most diverse and talented performers”

“Not bad for a tiny theatre tucked away on the cobbles of County Durham”

C M Y K

>>>Not bad for a tiny theatre tucked away on the cobbles of County Durham. >>>In the midst of what has been a positively arctic North East winter, comedy has been a key ingredient in maintaining student morale. Students have braved the sub-zero temperatures and turned out in their droves to ‘lol’ at the multitude of comic offerings available. >>>After the outstanding success of last term’s Comedy Baby, the WitTank boys wowed us with this term’s first standup night, packing FishTank to the gills once again, and proving that even when venturing away from their usual genre of sketch comedy, this comedic tour de force is far from being out of its depth. >>>And if sketch comedy is more your

thing, the Revue came up trumps in the hilarious and cheap-as-chips extravaganza that was Comedy for a Quid. With a winning combination of satirical witticisms and red braces, the gang treated us to an extraordinarily slick selection of brilliant skits. >>>Their two-nights-only show reaffirmed the Revue’s enduring charm and popularity, and in a theatre filled to near-breaking-point, some members of the audience were literally rolling in the aisles. >>>For those who didn’t catch WitTank’s fabulous michaelmas show and were willing to mingle with the locals, The Stroke Association’s comedy night at The

Gala provided a great opportunity to be charitable whilst enjoying a full evening of sketches and stand-up material from a variety of award-winning comedians. >>>Combining the absurd with the bizarre, the runaway favourite was ‘Willy Wonka-esque genius’ Paul Foot.

When he didn’t have audience members squirming with discomfort as he delved into the details of their sex lives, his routine was a side-clutching blend of Monty Python with Jasper Carrot. >>>But the gold medal for the epiphany term must, surely, go to this year’s spectacular DULOG musical, Guys and Dolls.

Nearly a year in the making, this visual

>>>The coming week alone will see productions of Funny Girl, Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales, Noises Off, and ‘Oklahoma!’ being performed on stages the length and breadth of the city. And preparations are already well under way for a staggeringly eclectic range which includes Ibsen’s Hedda Gabler, Wyrd Sisters, 4:48 Psychosis, and Moliere’s Tartuffe, as well as a plethora of short plays in preparation for the DDF and Edinburgh Fringe. >>>Durham students are firmly establishing themselves as some of the most diverse and talented performers nationally, and with the Durham Drama Festival just around the corner, there has never been a better time to don your cashmere scarf, invest in a cigarette holder, and get involved.

>>This sketch was one of a number of strong early efforts. My favourite was the party game sketch, which was notable for its excellent structuring, producing several reveals in a row, and ending with a lovely punchline. The acting, particularly Liz Smith’s portrayal of a bubbly airhead, was spot on. >>Thereafter, things became far more hit and miss. Some of the later sketches stretched their basic premise far beyond its natural life, and some of these premises had little life to begin with: the Jesus sketch felt as old as the Dead Sea Scrolls, while the Bionic Man piece and the spoof of a pretentious luvvie had the odd nice line but felt aimless. >>>Similarly, the sketch sending up the irritating motivational speakers went on long enough to become as annoying as what it portrayed. >>>Furtermore, the show as a whole lacked direction. The lighting was pretty pedestrian, and some of the longer sketches in particular suffered from a distinct lack of atmosphere and snap in the exchanges. >>>For all that, the Revue performed throughout with plenty of their old swagger. It usually takes a few shows for a sketch troupe to gel, and on this evidence the Revue are well on their way.

Donnchadh O’Conaill

20 INDIGO

Friday 13 February 2009 palatinate.org.uk

GAMES indigo@palatinate.org.uk

GUEST COLUMN

GAMES

Sudoku Fill the blank cells on the grid with numbers so that

© 2009 PUZZLEMIX.COM / GARETH MOORE

each box, row and column contains the digits 1-9 once only EASY

8 2 4 5 9 1 1 2 6 3 2 4 5 4 9 3 5 6 7 7 5 2 6 9 1 7 5 3 7 8 2 4 3 9 6 7

MEDIUM

6 9 5 8 4 1 7 1 8 6 2 9 2 3 6 9 7 5 4 2

6

3 6 5 9 2 3

9 4 1 1 5 7

Crossword

8

HARD

4

8 5

1

3 7 5

9

1 6

7

5 9 3

3 8

2

6 2 8

9

1 6 4

6

9 7

5

2 9

© 2009 DAVID PRICE-WILLIAMS

Across

Down

1. Football commentator (4, 6) 8. Aged (7) 9. One who escorts guests (5) 10. Mountain range (abbr.) (4) 11. Tide of small high-low difference (4) 12. Tombstone inscription (1, 1, 1) 14. Middle Eastern country (6) 15. Smallest human bone (6) 18. Past participle of ‘to get’ (3) 20. Spanish car manufacturer (3) 21. Crucial beer ingredient (4) 23. American ‘Gem’ State (5) 24. Low back pain (7) 25. Nick Hornby book (5, 5)

1. Indian city (7) 2. Listen (usually imperative) (4) 3. Pandemonium (6) 4. Brass instruments (8) 5. ‘Turn the ___ cheek’; act of pacificism (5) 6. Device on boat for securing lines (11) 7. To, about, by (gram.) (11) 13. Litteral zone (8) 16. Ancient Egyption ruler (7) 17. Faster than a canter (6) 19. Minimal amount; track down (5) 22. Give out (4)

up to the numbers on the left and the columns add up to those up top

7

10

6

20

3

4

11

11 21

24

19

HARD

MEDIUM

6

3

19 10

14

21

7 19

10

10

16

3

13

18 12

17 19

15 24 17 12

To mark National Student Volunteering week, 23rd–28th February will be packed full of volunteering-related events, courtesy of Student Community Action.

Love the Wii? Love cake? To promote the new ‘Wii for the Elderly’ project, SCA’s Wii will be in Riverside Café all day on Monday 23rd and Tuesday 24th. Pop in for some free gaming, or to pick up some delicious homemade cakes.

On Monday the Careers Advisory Service will be giving a presentation on making the most of volunteering on your CV. If you do any volunteering, come along to ER142 at 7pm to find out how to present your skills to the best advantage.

If you’ve been thinking about volunteering all year, but haven’t got round to it yet, it’s not too late!

SCA are holding a drop-in session on Wednesday 25th in the DSU Committee Room, 2–4pm. This is the perfect opportunity to get more information about volunteering on SCA projects, and other youth projects in the local area.

Also on Wednesday, from 7pm in ER152 is an information session on student trusteeships. Sitting on the Board of Trustees for a charity is an excellent way to experience a management role and help with the running of the charity. There will be a talk from a current student trustee, and local charities in need of trustees are attending.

And finally, there will be a litterpick on Saturday 28th. This is your chance to brighten up Durham whilst enjoying a gentle stroll. Further details to be confirmed…

Team Durham volunteering

Kakuro Enter digits from 1-9 inclusive so that the rows add 23

National Student Volunteering Week

SCA volunteers are invited to the annual blacktie celebration of all things SCA on Wednesday 4th March at 7.30pm in St Chad’s. Nominations for oSCArs are also open in the categories Star College Rep, Project Leader, Volunteer and Community Contact; send nominations to community. action@durham.ac.uk. Please also e-mail if you would like to come to the oSCArs, so numbers are known for catering.

© 2009 PUZZLEMIX.COM / GARETH MOORE

10

Laura Matthews and Tom Bigglestone

oSCArs

For solutions, visit palatinate.org.uk/crossword

EASY

Community Corner

14

14

28

8 10 16

7

33

8

14

17

15 14

8

4

19 3

8

4

10

Wondering how to add to your university experience? Look no further! Team Durham Community offer a range of projects aimed at schoolchildren, disengaged groups, looked after children, gifted and talented pupils, young events organisers and new families, to name only a few. Many projects run every week, sometimes two weeks, and one-off day courses for community groups are frequent. Volunteers are rewarded with funding for National Governing Body coaching badges in various sports. Our student volunteers are provided with full Team Durham Community kit too.

One of the success stories from 2008 was the Rugby Charity Challenge. It was primarily organised by a group of Podium 2012 volunteers from Durham Gilesgate Sports College. This group was led by Amanda Jones, Events Scholar and Student Volunteer, who had this to say: “I thoroughly enjoyed being involved in the organisation of the recent Charity Rugby event. I learned so much from the experience and I benefited immeasurably from my involvement - both professionally and personally.”

If you want to add these amazing experiences to your daily life, contact Emma Hall-Craggs at teamdurham.community@dur.ac.uk, or call 0191 334 2161. Visit www.teamdurham.com/ community for more information on our work.

C M Y K