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Thursday 5th May 2016

INDIGO

3 FEATURES How one student grapples with her health problems in Durham 4 & 5 BOOKS COVER STORY: Ana-Maria treks through the city’s quirky bookshops 6 V I S U A L A RTS Exhibitions in the North East to both see and be seen at 7 STAGE Classical versus modern theatre: Durham student theatre company presidents (also known as experts) weigh in 8 & 9 T R A V EL Travel now, not later: tips for the best backpacking holiday of your life 1 0 F O O D & DRINK Cooking on a tight schedule: easy recipes for the exam season 11 FASHION The first rule of fashion is: there are no rules 1 2 & 1 3 F I L M & TV What’s good in the world of revision TV 14 MUSIC LCD Soundsystem and Bon Iver’s upcoming albums: what’s the hype?

1 5 C R E A T I VE WRITING Alexandra Webber Isaacs shares an excerpt of her short story on class tensions and social mobility PHOTOGRAPHY / ILLUSTRATION

Samuel Kirkman Giulia Delprato Kat Hind Seb Johnson Harriet O’Connor Sapphire Demirsooz

For your fix of everything arts and cultural, please visit: www.palatinate.org.uk www.facebook.com/palindigo Follow us on Twitter and Instagram: @indigodurham

#readpalatinate

How do you even revise? I’ve completely forgotten. Most of my day currently involves staring at my computer screen, looking down at my still-blank notepad (I also bought four packs of card with the very best intention of making flashcard summaries of all the texts I’m doing in my exams, only to find that I can’t remember what happened in any of them), and then turning to my snack drawer for comfort. ‘Tis the season for stress-eating: I think I might be single-handedly funding my college toastie bar this term.

Revision is probably the last thing you want to read about right now. Luckily, our revision articles in this edition are more about distracting yourself from exams than preparing for them. Avoid the sugar rushes that come from devouring a sharing bag of Malteasers in one go (I’ve been there) by cooking yourself a nice ‘n’ easy meal from Food & Drink’s selection.

Cooking’s relaxing and therapeutic and all that, but it’s also a great way to procrastinate without feeling completely useless. On the other hand, you could just settle down in front of the TV with the aforementioned bag of Malteasers and watch any one of the revision TV programmes reviewed by Film & TV on page 13.

Our cover story for this edition, however, is on bookshops.

You’ve probably done a bar crawl; you might have done a coffee shop crawl. But have you ever done a bookshop crawl? Well, Books has. From vintage finds to pure socialist literature, you’ll find it all in Durham. You might just have to hunt a little harder.

Elsewhere, Visual Arts sums up the best exhibitions on in the North East this term, which means there’s no excuse not to go out and see some culture after exams. If you’re looking to go further afield, Travel’s tips and tricks for a good backpacking experience are invaluable.

I’ll be spending my summer working, but at least I can watch enviously as everyone else updates their Instagram feeds with mountain scenery and artisan breakfasts. I’m not jealous at all.

Anyway, good luck to everyone over the next few weeks. And even if you don’t do as well as expected, just remember there are lots of people who have done well without good grades. Richard Branson, for one. And Bill Gates. There’s hope for us yet.

Thank you to Kenzo Ishida and Faye Chua for their work on the back page, and to Grace Tseng for her photographs for both the front and back covers.

INDIGO EDITORS Ellen Finch YC Chin (deputy) FEATURES EDITORS Isabelle Culkin Cristina Cusenza (deputy) BOOKS EDITORS Hannah Griffiths Ellie Scorah VISUAL ARTS EDITOR Jane Simpkiss STAGE EDITORS Sofya Grebenkina Simon Fearn TRAVEL EDITOR Laura Glenister FOOD & DRINK EDITORS Charlotte Payne Ariadne Vu FASHION EDITOR Sally Hargrave FILM & TV EDITORS Rory McInnes-Gibbons Hugo Camps-Harris (deputy) MUSIC EDITORS Jacqueline Duan Will Throp CREATIVE WRITING EDITOR Sarah Fletcher WRITERS Emma Yeo Ana-Maria Cîrstea Jane Simpkiss George Breare Alex Prescot Kat Hind Ottoline Spearman Emma Wall Charlotte Payne Ariadne Vu Samantha Wernham Rory McInnes-Gibbons Hugo Harris Mason Boycott-Owen Alexandra Webber Isaacs

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Thursday 5th May 2016

FEATURES

Hi, my name’s Emma

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To Durham, a city not so easy to navigate with health problems

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i, my name’s Emma. I’m a Durham student and I have a myriad of health problems.

Doesn’t this feel a little bit like an AA meeting already? As if I’m going to confess my deepest darkest secrets, with an added sprinkle of despair.

Nah, let’s just be honest.

So: I have Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, scoliosis, kyphosis and some other more minor things. I’ve written blog posts before about the experience of having major spinal surgery when I was a kid and the continuing problems my back causes me. However, only about 1% of people have scoliosis at all, and even more rare is to have it bad enough to compress your lungs and leave you struggling to breathe and under the knife within a year of diagnosis.

Without the benefit of experience you don’t know how a place is going to affect you Fatigue is perhaps something you might be able to identify with better. My sister has CFS, and there are so many different causes of fatigue, which is a symptom of my EDS too. The potential for fatigue isn’t something you can measure when you sit at home surrounded by university prospectuses, with ten different futures sprawled out on the bed in front of you. All you can see is a list of bursaries in one and pretty campus buildings in another – the documents all pretty pictures and slogans. Without the benefit of experience, you can’t know how a place is going to affect you.

Story by Emma Yeo

So I chose Durham. A city reasonably close to home, meaning short visits to see my family would be viable or having the opportunity to have a rest in my own bed wouldn’t be too hard. A city that boasts a UNESCO World Heritage Site and some of the best coffee shops in the North East. It is also a city, and a university, that can be difficult to navigate with health problems.

I can almost hear you shouting your objections through the computer screen. But I should have known, shouldn’t I? The hills, they were clear from the start. Yes, yes they were. So I chose a Bailey college, nestled close to Elvet Riverside and Tesco. It would be hard to go wrong with that, right?

But then came the treacherous minefield that was trying to find somewhere to live for second year, with the vast gulf between the even halfway decent houses close to the city centre and the amount my group had budgeted. I had to be near the city centre; Gilesgate or Neville’s Cross wasn’t an option.

Turns out, surprisingly enough, that even the kind of reasonably priced houses close to the city centre usually have some pretty major problems, or had been snatched up far too quickly for a fresher to stand a chance. So this year, I’m living close enough to my lectures and the library but in a house that leaves quite a bit to be desired. Never mind. I’m sure every second year is paying out thousands for a place that doesn’t quite meet their needs.

Having health problems that limit my energy levels have affected my choices for third year too.

Luckily, my college are wonderful and are making sure that I’ll have a place there. Living in is a much easier option, and might just stop me resorting to takeaways when I’m completely exhausted.

Until now I’ve tried to avoid talking about how my degree itself is affecting my health, because I know that it is. Trying to write 10,000 words of read-

able essays over the Christmas holidays, when I was just trying to recover from the intensity of Michaelmas term wasn’t easy. Whispered phone calls home late at night when I’m so exhausted that I don’t know how I’m going to finish the next assignment, never mind return those library books (heads up to any history students out there, you’ll be waiting a while for that book you recalled...)

You can’t see it. Any of it. Apart from the little panda circles under my eyes and the remaining

Having health problems that limit my energy levels have affected my choices for third year sliver of a curve to my back you’d only see if I made the dubious decision of wearing a bodycon dress to lectures. But they don’t really count. The symptoms rather than the problem.

Still, things are looking up. It’s the end of term, almost. Twelve thousand words down and I’m almost free – for this summer at least. Fatigue can feel like spiralling circles, with no way back up to the well rested person you were, but it can also dissipate and leave you remembering just how good things can be.

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve had any serious written work, I’ve taken it a little easy this week and right now I’m feeling a little bit better.

That’s something.

Photograph: Wikimedia/Neitram

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Thursday 5th May 2016

BOOKS

Follow the reader: a bookshop Ana-Maria Cîrstea explores the best of our city’s

Wate rsto ne s

Going

Recommendation: Disinto Waterstones is claimer by Renée Knight like coming back home after a long holiday. Familiar, comfort“A real page turner.”

able, and filled with subtle differences with each visit. The local Waterstones has a lot of space and two floors. All sections are designed accordingly and the upstairs has a welcoming seating area. They also have very tempting deals, such as a half price sale wwhen you preorder the next Harry Potter book! I’m definitely placing a pre-order here. The staff are very happy to help, make recommendations, and seem to have read all the books in the place; I can definitely see why. Although a classic compared to the other bookshops on my list, Waterstones is a safe bet for any reader that needs a shiny new addition to their shelves.

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here is a point in any student’s life when he or she needs a moment to escape the pressure of assignments, curl up, zone out, and chill out. Some go back home for the weekend.

Some make an emergency Tesco run. And some actually go running. While I’m sure all of these are lovely and I do them every once in a while (more Tesco, less running though), I found the ultimate solution to the problem on a chilly Thursday afternoon.

The answer is a disappointingly underrated leisure activity in local tourism brochures – a Durham bookshop crawl. While the numbers of bookshops in Durham are admittedly few and far between, it is nonetheless worthwhile to go around chatting to owners, listening to the friendly regulars’ stories and getting the latest literary news. This can be easily done in a couple of hours for free (well, I only bought one book and some chocolate on the way, which doesn’t really count).

Oxfam Bo oksh op

What looks like a tiny bookshop on the outside never fails to impress any visitor with its three floors of books, music and all sorts of trinkets. It is one of the few Oxfam bookshops with a designated academic section. The manager states proudly that they try to cater to all the courses offered by the university at a reasonable price. Since every purchase is a donation to a good cause, it is virtually impossible to walk out empty handed. All the books are organised well and you can easily find what you want or simply browse (for a few days at least). The only problem is the store’s lack of volunteers. The process is really simple and requires as much of your time as you want it to. Anyone can go in, get trained and get working on the same day. Plus, think of all the books you can set aside for yourself… Think about the change you’re going to make!

Recommendation: 1984 by George Orwell “As soon as it comes in, it goes out.”

Photographs:

Ana-Maria Cîrstea and Paul White via Flickr

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Thursday 5th May 2016

BOOKS

crawl on the streets of Durham

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bookshops, from charity bargains to comic books What strikes you most when entering The People’s Bookshop is how cosy it feels. I was greeted with big smiles from the staff as well as a regular, Dave. It is the only radical, independent bookshop in Durham, maintained by a collective of 14 volunteers. Katherine, the volunteer I met on the day, described it as “a community hub, not just a bookshop”, a place where people can share ideas. They sell mainly second hand books, as well as rare items, such as political pamphlets or manifestos. However, they do not aim to make a profit, but to change how people understand society. This is achieved by a number of events they host. Ben, the manager, mentions an ongoing set of talks given by local experts and guest speakers on the Spanish Civil War. Their most prized event, however, is called Club Resistance, involving gigs performed by local musicians – it sells out every month! Whether interested in the events or not, make sure to pay them a visit.

Th e

People ’s Bookshop

Strictly speaking, this is not a bookshop. However, their collection of comics is unbelievable and it’s proven to bring out the nerd in anyone. The most impressive fact about the place is its diversity: you can find anything from Marvel comics to Batman surprise eggs.

Dark Matter holds game nights every Monday and more special events, such as the Yu-Gi-Oh! Tournament or the Pokemon League Play. Both the atmosphere and the products available will definitely bring back memories of your childhood and make you restart your collection of superhero posters. They provide entertainment for any fiction fan, whether that is Deadpool, Spiderman or Game of Thrones.

Dark Ma

Recommendation: Action figures “He actually just loves the models, but they’re too expensive to buy.”

Recommendation: Blacklisted by Dave Smith and Phil Chamberlain “Oh, gosh, just one book?”

tter

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fé Online...

Durham’s own, Gareth Reeves suggests looking beyond novels and poetry for your next read: “How many people describe works of literary criticism as classics? Come to that, how many English Literature students do? Undergraduates have little time on their hands during term, and holidays are often spent catching up on fiction and poetry. Yet, literary criticism is what they are tasked with producing. It surely pays, then, to have a few classics – classics of literary criticism – under the belt.”

Thursday 5th May 2016

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VISUAL ARTS

The Hills Have Eyes

... and they’ve spotted the exhibitions, galleries and sculptures not to be missed in the North East this term!

Shoes: Pleasure and Pain, The Bowes Museum, County Durham, 11th June – 9th October After a successful stint at the V&A Museum, this exhibition, which explores 2000 years of shoe history, has now travelled to the Bowes Museum. Having seen this exhibition in London, I would encourage you not to miss out! There are some fantastic pieces on display from Christian Louboutin, Jimmy Choo and Prada. The exhibition covers the shoes of royalty and celebrity, from fetish wear to the silver screen. Even Cinderella’s glass slippers are on show.

Egyptian Gallery, Durham Oriental Museum For a local revision break, why not head up to Durham Oriental Museum’s newly refurbished Egyptian Gallery. The oldest pieces on display date back to earlier than 4000 BC and objects on display range from carvings to golden jewellery and mummy caskets.

Echoes of Abstraction The Laing Art Gallery, Newcastle, until Thursday 1st September A free display exploring the wonders of abstraction in the Twentieth Century.

If you love works

by David Bomberg,

Ben Nicholson, Winifred Nicholson or Walter Sickert, make sure you go along! If you don’t, go along anyway and be converted!

Present Continuous: Omer Fast, BALTIC Centre, Gateshead, until 26th June 2016 This video exhibition has taken over most of the BALTIC Centre.

Fast’s videos explore the nature of narrative structure, playing with looping and repeating video, undermining the divide between reality and representation.

Baldock Pope Zahle, Northern Gallery for Contemporary Art, Sunderland, until 18th June An exhibition exploring the relationship between materials and making, these three artists use a wide variety of media such as glass, textiles and ceramics to make sculptural works. Whether on a large or small scale, all of these artists are interested in the handmade, the relationship between art and craftsmanship and the relationship between artist and audience. Pope has made a series of glass chalices on the theme of the Seven Virtues and Sins, whilst Zahle has created a nylon sculpture that zigzags through the main expanse of the gallery.

Ushaw College Maybe not a usual haunt for undergraduates but something that is well worth a visit. Ushaw College contains outstanding art and architecture including a chapel by Pugin and the largest collection of Nazarene Paintings in Europe.

Silvas Capitalis, Kielder Water and Forest Park There is a giant, wooden, head hidden away in the forest along the Lakeside Way in Kielder Forest Park. Intrigued? So are we. This enormous sculpture by American art collective SIMPARCH was conceived as a watcher in the wood to observe visitors to this unique secret space and changes in the landscape. Climb inside the head to get a unique perspective on the world around you. Like the Godswood in Game of Thrones, but with less white walkers and more woodland hikers.

Northumberlandia – the

Conceived as a Lady of the North Northwatcher in the wood umberland Giant woodland heads not to observe ther your thing? Why not escape Durham and see Northumberlandia, changes in the a human landform sculpture of a landscape and visitors reclining lady made from 1.5 miltonnes of rock, clay and soil. to this secret space lion This lady of the landscape is 100

Alice in Wonderland, The Laing Art Gallery, Newcastle, until 2nd October This British Library exhibition will soon be moving to the Laing. Exploring how one of children’s literature’s favourite characters has been depicted over the past 150 years, this whimsical exhibition will include images by Peter Blake, Salvador Dali and Arthur Rackham. It promises to be an illustrator’s wonderland!

Photograph: Oliver Dixon and AC White via Wikimedia Commons

feet high and a quarter of a mile long.

Gareth Hudson: Everything was Beautiful and Nothing Hurt Work III Globe Gallery, Newcastle, Until 20th May For this work, Hudson collaborated with Andy Hanson, an EEG Technologist at Newcastle University’s Institute of Neuroscience to record his own normal, healthy brainwaves; these results were then interpreted into music for a string quartet.

The exhibition explores the themes of mortality, authenticity and how to live the fullest life possible.

@visualarts_palatinate

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Thursday 5th May 2016

STAGE

The Battle of the Eras

Presidents of Durham University Classical Theatre and Battered Soul Theatre debate on the age-old subject of classical versus modern theatre

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brief glance at Durham Student Theatre’s 2016 listings, with the possible exception of Shakespeare, finds largely a drive towards the innovative and the experimental that often comes with modern drama. There is almost a responsibility therefore for Durham University Classical Theatre (DUCT) to take up the historical baton in its choice of plays.

DUCT owes its existence to the former President Leo Mylonadis’ passion for Greek tragedy; however, whilst its scope remains extremely broad, limiting itself to plays written over 100 years ago or concerning an epoch in the same timeframe, its focus is moving more towards the canonical works of literature.

It seems obvious to say that when considering DUCT’s future productions, historical context is a crucial factor. Doing a classical play allows a director to view the play from a holistic perspective; it is not merely about capturing the spirit of the text, but also capturing the zeitgeist of the era in question. Drama is fundamentally about critiquing and exploring our own reality; for me, it is immensely rewarding and artistically interesting to also explore the conditions of a different period, and classical plays allow one to do so.

This drama is also, arguably, more immersive than modern theatre. You can cast off twenty-first century attitudes and surrender yourself entirely to a different way of thinking; a separate world entirely – it is drama at its powerful, immersive best.

Having said this, innovation and classical theatre are not poles apart; indeed DUCT also recognises the value in exploring classical drama through a modern perspective, or with modern values in mind.

Our recent production of George Bernard Shaw’s Pygmalion for example, sought to portray the full escapist joy of a period drama whilst also exploring the powerful progressive feminist message behind it. Looking forward, modern reimaginings of classical tales is something we are looking to explore.

You can cast off twenty-first century attitudes and surrender yourself entirely to a different way of thinking Whilst ‘classical’ theatre may at first glance seem a restrictive parameter; the immense artistic, innovative and historical potential of classical drama is not only liberating but also ripe for exploration.

–George Breare, President of Durham University Classical Theatre

Amateur rights for plays written in the twenty-first century usually cost between £70 and £90 a night, so you have to think harder about the economic side of your projects in order for it to remain viable. That said, there is a fair bit of funding knocking about in DST, so if you brush up on your grant application skills, you should be fine.

In this vein, our company chose ‘Cock’ by Mike Bartlett for our first production because the play has a very specific remit. It uses no props and no set, so we knew that we could keep production costs low. It’s not unique in this approach – a lot of modern theatre is very sparse in its stage direction, allowing you to produce it very minimally. For directors, this provides an opportunity to be inventive with both the staging and the venue choice with such ventures. DDF provided a mere glimpse of the opportunities for site specific theatre around Durham, and sufficient planning would open up far more spaces for those theatre companies wanting to programme theatre into the next academic year.

So next time you read a great modern monologue, why not think about putting on the whole play?

– Alex Prescot, President of Battered Soul Theatre

Josie Williams and JoshWilliams in DUCT’s production of Arms and the Man in January 2015 Photograph: Samuel Kirkman

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his isn’t the first time I’ve been asked why Battered Soul focuses on modern theatre.

For me, it’s not at all about disliking older theatre (Shakespeare’s got a nice way with words, I guess); it’s much more that twenty-first century theatre continues to be underdone in comparison to its more established cousins. In a way, this amazes me; there is so much good theatre around at the moment, and a lot of plays have successful runs at the Edinburgh Fringe, or even in the West End, and then sit around until someone chooses to revive them, if they ever do. It’s a more risky business model, I guess.

Twenty-first century theatre continues to be underdone in comparison to its more established cousins Owen Sparkes and Theodore Holt-Bailey in Battered Soul Theatre’s production of Cock at NSDF 2016 Photograph: Giulia Delprato

Thursday 5th May 2016

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TRAVEL

Wanderlust: Young, Wild and Free

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The best time to travel? Now! Kat Hind explains why

ravel is something most of us look at through rose-tinted glasses: we romanticise the idea and transport ourselves into visions of foreign love affairs, writing our first novel in a café by the Seine, or roaming through the Amazon rainforest in search of hidden wonders.

We forget about the hassle of airport departures, lost luggage and mosquito bites, because there is something inherently magical about going on an adventure. The best time to experience this ‘magic’?

Now, as a student, as a graduate, and as a twentysomething-year-old who simply wants to run as far away from adult responsibility as possible, while the student loan is still good, so to speak.

Wanderlust, in my opinion, is made for the student generation. We have spent so many years in education and learnt about the world in such minute detail, why wouldn’t we want to experience a bit of that before getting into the almost compulsory graduate scheme to start paying off our ominous student loan – after all we’re never going to be able to afford to buy a house, so why not use some of those savings to trek across Asia or go hiking in South America?

Realistically, this is the time in your life when you don’t have any full time responsibilities, and you can travel to the weird and the wonderful not really caring if your youth hostel isn’t the cleanest or if the eight hour bus journey to save £50 was the worst night’s sleep of your life. When you’re young

you’ll have a fantastic range of possible holiday destinations in your future, complete with free guides and accommodation. Who knows, you might even find the love of your life in the Australian outback as you ask for directions. Those rose tinted glasses

Once you get the travel bug you can’t stop

I was talking about? You need to have done something in order to be able to wear them. Travelling when you’re young, and I apologise if this sounds clichéd, expands your personal horizons in this way.

I cannot stress enough how happy it makes me to go onto Facebook and see a news feed filled with Eng-

We’re never going to be able to afford to buy a house, so why not use some of those savings to trek across Asia or go hiking in South America? there is no judgement in slumming your way across a continent. Not that I’m saying don’t do this in your fifties – go for it – just be prepared for some strange looks from Gap Year travellers in the bunk beds across from you.

Another major positive for travelling young is how easy it is to make new friends for life across a global network. If you are meeting people now then

tically smaller and with more and more low-cost flights on the market, you can find some really amazing deals. A week in Budapest, flights, hostels, food and transport included, can cost about £200£250. So instead of upgrading your phone to the latest model, go on holiday instead – twice if you’ve got expensive technological tastes! I realise that the counter argument here is travel when you’ve got a

lish, French, Arabic, Spanish and sometimes even a bit of Norwegian! Cast your friendship web wide and you’ll never regret it.

On a practical level, the world is getting logis-

steady wage and disposable income. Stay in a bit of luxury and take that direct flight instead of the cheap stopover, but honestly I wouldn’t change the excitement of a bit of the rough road for anything as a young person.

Finally, and most importantly, think of the memories. A friend of mine who travels constantly it seems told me about a tradition he started to remember all the places he’s been to and the memories that come with them. Every place he goes he buys a small souvenir, then every Christmas he decorates his tree with all these little knick knacks.

I think it sums up why you should start travelling young: because of the joy. Nothing beats looking back through photo albums, or reading your diary, or looking at your travel tree, because they serve as a reminder to the joy you felt in a single moment thanks to travel and adventure.

Once you get the travel bug you can’t stop because there really is nothing better than escaping the mundane, letting everything go and just immersing yourself completely in someone else’s life and culture. Do it in your holidays, take a year for yourself or simply run away for a weekend, even if it’s just to another part of your home country. Find this special variety of wanderlust joy, and find it young, because the idea of the big wide world can be scary, but facing it early on and enjoying its beauty and diversity can equally be the best thing you can do for yourself.

Photographs: Esparron de Verdon and Aix-en-Provence, France, by Kat Hind.

Online...

Harriet O’Connor treads in the footsteps of Vincent van Gogh:

“Arles, capital of the melancholic Camargue, must be one of France’s prettiest cities. Dating back to the 7th century, Arles’ sultry stone squares, quaint antique shops, secret impasses and narrow sleepy streets give it a medieval, fairytale-esque atmosphere,perfect for aimless wanderings...But one of the most notable aspects of the city is the strong sense of déjà vu it evokes. This is because one has already seen much of the city on a Van Gogh canvas”

Jamilla Miles’s guide to visiting Copenhagen on a student budget

“The ultimate eco city - and of course the home of LEGO - it’s easy to see why Copenhagen has been voted one of the happiest cities in Europe. The Danish capital is surprisingly clean and spacious, with Danes embracing a ‘hygge’ lifestyle...With Sweden a mere 5 miles away via the majestic Oresund Bridge, Copenhagen is also an excellent hub for Scandanavian exploration”

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Thursday 5th May 2016

TRAVEL

Backpacking: the do’s and the don’ts Ottoline Spearman’s top tips for getting the most out of your travels

ackpacking is one of those things that’s on every post-puberty adolescent’s bucket list.

It seems so surreal and totally exciting… until you’re stuck on a sixteen-hour night bus with no air conditioning or bathroom. And so what do you do in this situation? My solution was to take a valium bought over the counter for twopence halfpenny and blare out some Ben Howard in the hope that it would lull me to sleep.

Everyone has their own take on backpacking – but these are the things that I found to be invaluable.

Do...pack as lightly as possible

During my three-month sojourn through South East Asia and Australia, I took only what was on my back…which was a 30L backpack. And that was taken up mostly by a hoodie, a towel, and a copious number of books. Now, although I did get rather sick of wearing the same three pairs of shorts over and over again, and I lost count of the number of times I handwashed my clothes in a sink using shampoo, it was certainly satisfying when we caught sight of others with their backs bowed under their huge 80L rucksacks. Moreover, it was practical. I could carry my bag through forty-degree heat without thinking I was going to die. I could actually find things in my bag, because the space wasn’t cluttered by yet another unworn top or a pair of hair curlers. Finally, I didn’t have to wait in long queues to check in bags, and I could even have it on my lap during long bus journeys, avoiding the hustle and bustle upon arrival of desperately trying to locate your rucksack under several hundred kilos of other sweaty suitcases.

Do...split up your belongings

Although we were fortunate enough to return with all the possessions we left with (aside from my phone, which I dropped in the Andaman Sea!), I did take the precaution of splitting up my cash, my credit cards and my (prescription) drugs into two bags. And so, were a nimble-fingered young ruffian to steal my purse, I would not have to make the long trek to the embassy or call home to ask for more money. I also locked away my valuables in a small section of my rucksack – and although that probably drew more attention to them and the flimsy fabric that would be easy to cut through, it certainly seemed to work.

Do...try everything

Most people go to places and look up on Tripadvisor the best things to do. But the best things to do aren’t always the more touristy things. Sure, I can say that I’ve visited the Grand Palace in Bangok, but unless something truly spectacular happens to me there, it’s not going to be one of my more memorable experiences. I’m not saying don’t do the touristy things – by all means do, they’re touristy for a reason! Just take the time to explore the place properly, discover hidden

Don’t...book in advance

This is the main thing that I learned: flights rarely go up the day before. My friend booked her flight back to the States two months in advance, and the day before, it had gone down by $40. Leaving things unbooked leaves you with the flexibility and the ability to properly embrace travelling. We met some people in Da Lat, and spontaneously decided to take a night bus to Hoi An and then bike the 150 odd kilometres to Hue. In Northern Thailand, in Pai, we were in sudden need of a beach, so booked a flight to Krabi the next day. Now this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t plan: planning is great! Just leave yourself open to the crazy things life throws at you, and go with it.

Don’t...forget where you are

We met a “lad” named Jim in Chiang Mai, who never paused for a breath and didn’t once ask us a single question. Instead, he regaled us with terrible things that had happened to him during his travels. And you know why? Because he was loud, brash and ignorant: the perfect target. If you treat the locals with respect and remember that you’re in their country, they’ll be much less likely to try and scam you. Even better, learn some of their language.

Don’t...drink yourself silly

places that have yet to feature on Tripadvisor, and say yes to everything.

We were motorbiking down a foul-smelling alley just outside Hue, the old imperial capital of Vietnam, when a fisherman invited us in to his house. We then proceeded to have what I can only describe as a feast of rice, soup and the best fish I’ve ever tasted in my life, with all thirty other members of the fishing village.

Now that was memorable.

Photographs: Petra, Jordan, and Tel Aviv, Isreal,

by Kat Hind

On Instagram...

Right: Hobiton, New Zealand.

Taken by: Seb Johnson Left: Lyon, France.

Taken by: Harriet O’Connor

People often make the mistake of getting so excited about being away from home that they go out every night, returning a drunken mess and not remembering the night before.

As a result, they’ll be too hungover to explore the place and get to know the culture. Remember, you can go out and get drunk any time you like at home. Sure, the alcohol here is wonderfully cheap (and lethal), but alcohol is always going to be accessible to you. The multitude of temples at Ankor Wat, on the other hand, is not. Don’t take things for granted. Get out and explore.

Instagram: @palatinatetravel Interested in writing for us?

Email travel@palatinate.org. uk

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Thursday 5th May 2016

FOOD & DRINK

Easy Satiety for Exam Season

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Here comes Emma Wall to the rescue, with eight effortless comfort food recipes

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evision and summatives getting you down? Scraping together the pennies with the hope of ordering yet another Urban Oven, but feeling the shame and pounds piling on while your wallet grows lighter?

Try some warming comfort food dishes and sugarladen desserts, perfect for helping you pull that final all-nighter and get through that pre-exam cramming session.

1. Baked Gnocchi Bolognese

3. One Pot Moroccan

Perfect for when you need a warming bowl of spicy goodness to get you through those last thousand words. Dice your meat of choice, put it in a saucepan with a can of chickpeas, a can of tomatoes, and a Moroccan spice paste or mix of choice (lemon tagine paste goes well with chicken or harissa with lamb or beef). Leave to cook, occasionally adding a splash of hot water if it starts to dry out. Serve with baked sweet potato if you need some extra comforting carbs.

4. Breakfast Pasta

Bolognese is a student comfort classic, but who says it always has to be with spaghetti?

Once you’ve made the bolognese, add in a portion of gnocchi – the small potato dumplings which can be found with the fresh pasta in supermarkets – into the saucepan. Transfer the whole lot to an oven-proof dish, top with grated cheese, and bake in the oven for 15-20 mins. A very simple, filling and cheap meal, perfect for setting up for an evening of hard-core revising!

Don’t knock it until you try it. This pasta dish uses your favourite ingredients from a full English breakfast to make the king of willpower-boosting comfort food. Simply dice some bacon and mushrooms, slice some sausages, fry them until cooked and then add a can of chopped tomatoes. Add to some penne and top with a poached or fried egg and you’re in breakfast heaven.

6. Pizza Breads

These are perfect for when you want to order pizza but feel too poor and ashamed. Buy any kind of flatbread, add tomato and cheese, add any extra toppings you want, and put it in the oven for ten minutes. Naan breads are particularly good with toppings such as tikka chicken, but any flatbreads will do. Buying in bulk can result in several days’ worth of cheap, quick and tasty meals, and they are perfect for making smaller snack portions to keep you going throughout the day.

7. Brownie in a Mug

For those people in need of a sugar boost to get down to planning those revision mind maps, a mug brownie is a perfect five minute solution.

Melt two tablespoons of butter in a mug in a microwave, add three tablespoons of caster sugar, an egg yolk, four tablespoons of plain white flour, 1 tablespoon cocoa powder and a handful of chocolate chunks. Mix well and microwave for 30-45 seconds.

8. Nutella Mug Cakes

In a bowl melt 40g butter, then beat in 4 tablespoons of caster sugar, 2 tablespoons of cocoa powder, 4 tablespoons of flour, one egg, and one tablespoon of Nutella.

Divide the mixture into two mugs (saving one for later, unless the desperation is real – we won’t judge!), and microwave for two minutes on the highest setting.

Perfect for an all-nighter sugar boost.

5. Steak and Ale Stew

2. Sausage and Bean Casserole

Cheap and healthy, full of protein, and best of all – a one-pan recipe. Put a pack of sausages, a can of white beans, a can of tomatoes, and half a mug of stock into a saucepan, and leave to simmer until the sausages have cooked and the sauce has thickened.

An ultimate homely comfort food for when the summative blues are getting to you.

Add a portion of diced beef to a pan with a mug of gravy and half a mug of ale, and whatever vegetables you want. Leave to simmer on a low heat for a couple of hours – minimal attention required!

Photographs: pearlbear78, Mari via Flickr

Durham Food Market Review

by Charlotte Payne and Ariadne Vu

Smokie Oakie’s

Fat Hippo

The smell of barbecue wafting from the stall was mouth-watering – definitely what I first noticed upon arrival at the market. For £5, I got plenty of pulled pork in a bap with some BBQ beans on top.

Although the pork was a little dry, the beans were cooked in a delicious smoky sauce which helped to pull the sandwich together. If you like some low ’n’ slow pulled pork, this is the stall for you!

Curious about the new restaurant that has taken over Saddler’s (RIP), I tried their Peanut Butter burger. Although the burger looked a bit tired – probably due to the immense queue and the fact that they were rushing to make every burger fresh – the flavour combinations were fantastic. The salty bacon jam and the creamy peanut butter worked surprisingly well with the cheeseburger. I’ll definitely be paying a visit to Fat Hippo Durham!

La Petite Creperie

A crepe stall that is Durham’s very own – at Durham Market Hall every day (except Sunday). You get a hot and deliciously sweet crepe, with your choice of filling after watching it being made fresh right in front of you eyes while having a lovely chat with the cute French crepe-maker. If you feel like indulging yourself between revision sessions, try a Grand Marnier crepe. A crepe with a dash of this fragrant orange liqueur will guarantee to chase away all stresses and sorrows.

The Doughnut Guy

Photographs: Richard, Marco Ooi on Flickr

I have tried a lot of doughnuts in my life, and so believe me when I say that these donuts are the BEST EVER, and the perfect end to our food tour.

For £2.50 / pot, you get three fluffy dough balls, with an incredibly generous choice of toppings that truly takes the donut experience to the next level: marshmallows, sprinkles, caramel... Chocolate sauce and pecan are highly recommended !

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Thursday 5th May 2016

FASHION

Fashioning Rules In this day and age, are style rules dated? Samantha Wernham explores.

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bruptly awoken by the incessant ringing of that merciless alarm, groggy eyed and still only semi-conscious, you reach for the phone and commence the daily morning ritual of scanning through every social media application. Once you’ve trawled through the list of Snapchat stories and reviewed your Facebook notifications (if you’re lucky enough to have any), the next logical step is Instagram.

Which fashion blogger, makeup artist or health fanatic will you deem deserving of a double tap? This is the culture of today’s society: we are,

Fashion fluctuates, trends come and go, but individual style is instinctive. undoubtedly and unashamedly, completely obsessed with trends.

The mere fact that we ‘follow’ others on social media serves to highlight this; we are undeniably interested in what others are doing, saying and – of course – wearing. If Olivia Palermo posts a photo at 8am of her #OOTD, it’s not long before people all over the globe are following the link she very kindly provides in order to find her beautiful garments online for themselves.

If Deliciously Ella posts about her morning yoga session, we sub-consciously cannot help but notice her choice of leggings.

Yet, we cannot merely render such fixation upon trends as the result of social media. After all, the existence of styles and popular fashion has endured since, seemingly, the dawn of time.

However, when something is in, something else is inevitably out. It is when such a trend remains in – or, indeed, out – for a prolonged

period of time that a ‘fashion rule’ is created. Over the years, fashion publications have repeatedly educated their style-conscious readers on the looks or combinations which are never acceptable. It is a relatively unspoken yet widely acknowledged rule, for example, that double denim is a highrisk choice to don. When choosing appropriate attire for a date, girls across the country are reminded of the ‘legs or boobs’ rule, meaning that the strapless, backless minidress hid-

den from your mother at the back of the wardrobe is written off immediately.

And the list goes on…

Granted, certain social situations require knowledge of certain fashion etiquette rules. It would not be appropriate to turn up to an interview sporting a crop top and Hawaiian Hula skirt (unless you were applying to be an exotic dancer, of course, in which case the outfit would be entirely suitable). Contrastingly, it has recently become apparent that breaking the rules and explicitly rebelling against the mainstream is now, in fact, in vogue. Gone are the days of Jack Wills sweaters and Ugg boots; uniformity and conformity are now rejected in favour of uniqueness and originality. The current desire is to be ‘edgy’, different, effortless and carefree. Ironically, this fresh perspective is indeed becoming a rule in itself; ‘breaking the trend’ has become a trend!

So what is the overarching fashion rule that we all should abide by? It is simple – dress however you want. It would be a shame to be restricted by the opinions of others. After all, who knows, Olivia Palermo could be rocking the double denim tomorrow and it would be all over Elle magazine as the new ‘in’ look.

Equally, don’t feel obliged to reject the classic

and the timeless in search of a new, radical style which does not match your personality. The rules are there for guidance, not to be taken as gospel. Fashion fluctuates, trends come and go, but individual style is instinctive. Now to revisit that Instagram newsfeed…

The current desire is to be ‘edgy’, different, effortless and carefree ... [This is] becoming a rule in itself; ‘breaking the trend’ has become the trend Illustration: Sapphire Demirsooz Graph: Sally Hargrave

Find us at: Instagram @palatinate_fashion Facebook: Palatinate Fashion

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Thursday 5th May 2016

FILM & TV

Demolition Job

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Film & TV Editor Rory McInnes-Gibbons takes a hammer to Jean-Marc Vallée’s latest film: Demolition, starring Brokeback Heartthrob Jake Gyllenhaal

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he description for Demolition should read: ‘Demolition: does exactly what it says on the tin.’ What Jake Gyllenhaal lacks in floor varnish, he more than makes up for in smashing stuff. The actor has grown used to thrashing the living daylights out of humans in boxing flicks like Southpaw. In Demolition, he takes his deconstructionist, DIY approach home.

This is the home he shares in shiny, suburban harmony with his beautiful, sadly deceased wife, Julia. Julia (Heather Lind) dies in a car crash at the start of the film, which is not a spoiler, since, without the death, Demolition would cease to exist. The film explores Davis Mitchell’s (Gyllenhaal) individual response to grief.

Disillusioned with his surroundings and ambivalent to everything, Davis wants to strip life back to its component parts by dismantling each and every object in his environment. Sounds a tad juvenile?

Well, it is a metaphor for his inner psychology that would be more deftly done had it been made of lego.

Starting with the faulty fridge, then the squeaky loo door at his gleaming finance office, before finally taking a forklift to his front door and hammer to the household, Davis is a restless force seeking something new, something to make sense of this senseless world. He finds it in the unlikeliest of places: in a vending machine.

Sitting in intensive care, miraculously unscathed after his wife’s fatal crash, all Davis wants is a bag of peanut M&Ms. Truly, we’ve all had that craving during exam season. They get stuck in the chute. Shoot!

Cue true agony for the bereaved.

We skip to the funeral, where Davis is staring into the mirror, trying and failing to break into tears.

If Gyllenhaal is acting, it is very much in the narcissistic style in which every actor must transfer the looks of his own life and map them onto a character by mimicking their own reactions. ‘Oh my god, my dog just died: better check the mirror.’ But Gyllenhaal’s puppy eyes and doggedly downcast expression never really win over an audience.

Davis must win over the customer services de-

partment in order to get his refund. Sounds captivating? Well, it transpires that through the letter writing process, Davis sheds light on his emotions and existence. The film’s innovation comes in a narrative that uses the letters of complaint to motivate the plot.

The plot drives us to a pancake shop parking lot on the outskirts of town, where Davis arranges a meeting with Naomi Watts’ customer services rep, Karen. This is the point at which their previously sacrosanct, written word communication (not an

Perhaps the most important thing for a Durham student to take away from this gentle flick is that city life might not be all it’s cracked up to be email, text or WhatsApp message in sight, nor fax for that matter) comes to an end and their lives link (and not through LinkedIn).

As things begin to turn into Spike Jonze’s 2013 film, Her, we get some real life, personal contact. Before we lose the plot in Karen’s young son, Chris (Judah Lewis), these two washed-out city dwellers find a new spark in a weirdly platonic, episodic dive into an onscreen realisation of a new lease of life.

I can see what the writers are attempting in this flippant approach to the inadequacies of city slicking, but when the alternative is spontaneously running into the sea and smoking pot, you have to question the validity of their message. Or should that be Valléedity…

If ‘Actors’ Director’ Jean-Marc Vallée won plaudits for casting Matthew McConaughey (Dallas Buyers Club) and Renée Zellweger (Wild) against type, then Gyllenhaal is on firmly safe terrain, using his physicality and brash bravado to no greater effect than the title suggests.

It is disappointing because there is so much po-

tential, but the message is dissipated by the simplistic vehicle to its meaning. Something bad happens, Davis feels bad, so he smashes something. As a metaphor, Demolition would function better if the subject were domestic violence. Gyllenhaal, in the end, is just left looking simple as he bashes another headboard with a sledgehammer.

The atmosphere of capitalist satire is undercut by the predication upon product placement. From Ray-Bans and expensive headphones to Heineken and Porsche, resorting to type might be unavoidable for bringing a city prick to screen, but it still smacks of the very corporatism the film seeks to undermine.

If you are seeking satirical satisfaction this springtime, you should probably look elsewhere.

March saw the release of High-Rise, Ben Wheatley’s excellent adaptation of the J.G Ballad novel. Where Demolition wears its irony and illusion obviously, High-Rise combines satire with subtlety sublimely.

Where High-Rise soars, Demolition falls flat.

Nonetheless, for fans of the prolific Vallée and Bélanger pairing, their signature style translates to cinematographic success once again. Like Dallas Buyers Club (2013) and Wild (2014) before, Demolition segues from collapse sequences to sudden flashbacks. Davis is haunted by his wife’s reflection in the bathroom mirror. These vestiges of her existence seep into the lonely moments of his life and their ghostly quality is traced beautifully onscreen.

Demolition is an aesthetic pleasure, but the beauty belies little beyond. By a sad irony, the scenes with the least interest are those that involve the demolition itself. After all, paradox dictates that it can be hard to shoot creative destruction. Perhaps the most important thing for a Durham student to take away from this gentle flick is that city life might not be all it’s cracked up to be. Yes, take that graduate job, but don’t necessarily expect total satisfaction for, truly, there is a world outside any window.

Photograph: Tannoy via Wikimedia.

Thursday 5th May 2016

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FILM & TV

Revision TV

Film & TV Deputy Editor Hugo Harris plays Procrastination Doctor, prescribing the best ways to waste your life Come Dine With Me

t’s that time of year again. Overwhelmed by the desire to exploit the last vestiges of time before exam season, hordes of students will inevitably make a stand: ‘no’ – they will pronounce in unison – ‘I will not watch the latest season of Game of Thrones!’ Forgoing the delights of HBO and Netflix certainly seems a shrewd move. Winter might not be coming to Durham just yet; but, if Tyrion Lannister’s claim that ‘a mind needs books just like a sword needs whetstone’ is anything to go by, we could all benefit from some extra hours spent in the Billy B. However, even after enacting such a profound alteration to one’s daily ritual, a constant remains in everyone’s lives that has the capacity to nullify any of its effects - daytime TV. Palatinate offers a specialised rundown of some of the nation’s most ‘informative’ daytime shows in a bid to point you to the programmes that will make your procrastination all the more satisfying.

There are only so many ways the likes of Homes under the Hammer and Bargain Hunt can prepare you for the onslaught of exams. The ‘they help mathematicians with percentages’ argument doesn’t really cut it. Many of TV’s best daytime programmes are the ones that motivate you. Take Come Dine with Me. Described this week by Meryl Streep on the Graham Norton Show as ‘fabulous’ (an endorsement if ever you needed one), the reality show is now in its 37th season and its format has been so successful – four amateur chefs host dinner parties to compete for a £1,000 prize – that versions of the show have been upgraded to primetime broadcast.

The wider public might love Come Dine with Me for the stinging remarks and overly competitive characters it nurtures; yet, the programme will doubtless compel Durham students; those finally set loose from home and longing to hold their own debauched affairs during the heady ‘Three Weeks of Nothing’, to make it through a 9:00 AM at Maiden Castle.

BBC Breakfast Hoping to acquire that golden nugget of current affairs knowledge minutes before your politics exam? Look no further than the BBC’s flagship morning news programme. It’s got all that extensive coverage we love from the Beeb to help you name-drop a cabinet minister, with just the right number of ‘light relief’ VTs to make the world seem bearable. Viewers might not be able to enjoy the soothing words of stalwart presenter Bill Turnbull anymore but, let’s face it, This Morning is hardly an option right now with Piers Morgan einfecting ITV’s airwaves.

Moreover, in w a k ing up at the crack of dawn to greet t h e show’s start, you have the perfect opportunity to feel incredibly productive whilst at the same time not descending into caffeine-induced hysteria. Staring at your illegible notes at 6:30 helps no-one, but you know staring at a bright TV screen at 6:30 makes sense.

Images (anticlockwise from top): Denelson83, zacabeb both via Wikimedia; Arnold Chao via Flickr

The Jeremy Kyle Show Countdown Even if it was not sexist for BBC Breakfast to place new presenter Dan Walker on the allegedly ‘senior’ left-side of the screen over his more experienced colleague, Louise Minchin, people probably still spend an unhealthy amount of time gazing into the eyes of Rachel Riley. That said, you can certainly count on Countdown to get your brain working overtime. Having negotiated the dilemma of deciding whether you’d have chosen a vowel or consonant, there is ample opportunity to test how ‘creative’ you can be with words; there will always be a point when you need to fill out your essay with 10-lettered words when 4 letters would do. Admittedly, Channel 4’s longest running-gameshow might not have the comedic value of its sister show, 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown. Hewer vs Carr, enough said. However, when that clock starts ticking, Countdown still allows you to practise your coping mechanism for being engulfed by sheer panic – useful.

It’s the one everyone loves to hate, but also the one people develop a suspiciously in depth argument as to why they hate it. It’s perhaps best not to dwell on the intricacies of this tabloid talk show.

Accusations that that the programme is ‘human bearbaiting’ sometimes do hit the mark.

N e v e r t h e l e s s, The Jeremy Kyle Show does serve as a reminder.

Firstly, things could be a l o t worse than studyi n g at one of the country’s most prestigious universities. Secondly, things can get a lot worse.

Have any couples with 2:2s from Durham ended up resolving their relationship in front of the whole of the U.K? I doubt it, but the scaremongering the show emits might be the factor that finally forces you to trudge to the Billy B. Who says procrastination doesn’t help?

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Thursday 5th May 2016

MUSIC

North American Scum

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With LCD Soundsystem and Bon Iver making a comeback, Mason Boycott-Owen explores the anticipation and hype surrounding both bands and their upcoming albums

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here is always a sense of trepidation when your favourite band reforms. Doubly so when two of your favourite bands announce plans for new albums in quick succession. LCD Soundsystem and Bon Iver have provided over their initially short lifespans some of the best albums made after the turn of the millennium. Though their styles are somewhat different, their involvement with artists such as James Blake and The National meant that their presence was very much missed by the scene.

James Murphy’s LCDSoundsystem released three albums between 2005 and 2010. Each one was an electronic masterpiece but they will perhaps best remembered for their 2007 effort Sound of Silver.

The album has perhaps the best three-track-run of any album in history with ‘North American Scum’, ‘Someone Great’, and ‘All My Friends’ – the melancholic ballad of ageing friendships. Yet Sound of Silver, as with their other albums has incredible depth, with songs like ‘New York I Love You But You’re Bringing Me Down’, as well as ‘Never As Tired As When I’m Waking Up’ providing some of the best blues songs outside of Jack White’s back catalogue.

Yet this was all cut short after the release of their third album This Is Happening. Citing reasons very similar to ‘I’m too old for this shit’, James Murphy decided the band would not continue, though he himself would continue working in music. This reunion then came as a big surprise to their fans given how principled and sure Murphy seemed at the time.

Though he acknowledged some of his fans might

feel betrayed by this change of heart, he completely welcomes the sentiment. His decision to bring the band back as a creative and live force must also be framed in the context of the death of David Bowie, his idol whom he channelled on tracks such as ‘All I Want’, who was a creative force even up to the day of his parting. If anything can make a man sure that he’s not too old to give art to the world, then it’s Bowie.

Bon Iver’s story is a similar one. After the release of their self-titled sophomore record, Justin Vernon announced that the band were currently winding down. This move came from his need to turn off and walk away from the project, which had become a beast far larger than the raw simplicity of For Emma, Forever Ago. Yet the legacy that he had left, though short-lived, was a great one and their second album Bon Iver, Bon Iver will remain one

of the most rich-sounding and cohesive records of all time, with perhaps only The War on Drugs’ Lost in The Dream coming close in recent years.

Outside of the band, Vernon was always involved with the creation of new music. Though Murphy was sometimes involved in more of a production role with, for example Reflektor by Arcade Fire, Vernon’s work continued in other projects such as the excellent Volcano Choir. Repave, Volcano Choir’s second album, is among his best work and is surprisingly unknown to many Bon Iver fans, often bemoaning that there are no more Bon Iver records.

The news that neither band is no longer winding down, along with the release of the non-album track ‘Haven, Mass’ from Bon Iver and the Christmas single ‘Christmas Will Break Your Heart’ by LCD Soundsystem, has certainly reminded so many people why these bands are so special to them.

Although it could be seen as indicative of a slump in the quality of new bands given the reception these old favourites’ reunions have received, it is really not the case. The space that these bands left had not really been filled, partly due to the fact the dust hadn’t really had time to settle. Their importance as bands and the great records they have created is the reason their return has been met with such joy. The fact that two titans such as these have returned can only be a good thing, meaning it is not left only to bands such as The National, Interpol, and Arcade Fire to keep the car running.

Photographs: Mark Jensen via Flickr, Myspace

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Thursday 5th May 2016

CREATIVE WRITING

Feu Solange

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Alexandra Webber Isaacs, an English MA student from Mauritius, shares an excerpt of her riveting short story on the island, class tensions, and social mobility

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ttention!”

“Attention!”

“Attention!”

The grey basketball was bigger than their heads.

As they passed it to each other their collarbones flexed, deep indentations you think food should have filled. You remembered that this was the tropics, where girls ran barefoot and pulled thorns out of their feet - the lucky ones, at least. Those whose days weren’t already inhabited by music lessons and ballet and tennis and swimming and golf and don’t-call-them-housewives social gatherings of some kind.

Their mother couldn’t afford a club membership: too poor for the once-exclusive Franco-Mauritian Dodo, or for the pretend-multicultural bourgeoisie of the Gymkhana. I remembered my own childhood, in front of the sterile pool and astringent sun loungers. Eating Tamarind sorbet, waiting for the accumulated small talk to end, watching the sticky sap splay on my thighs, tone on tone.

“Watch out! Oh!” Collective cries of dismay as the ball nestled into a yellow-leaf bush. Limited navigable space: here, the porch, there, tiles of trimmed grass, and there, Clarisse and Amélie’s newly cleaned inflatable pool. All around were bits of bustling bracken, broken concrete.

“I can’t go there, Lili, it’s spiky…Val, could you please please – thank you!” My sandaled feet helped retrieve the beloved soft ball. The blue ruffles of their swimsuits bounced in time to their attentions.

Their grandmother was remodelling her house.

They were building a top floor, where the girls and their parents would stay. She had already knocked down a wall in her living room, turning it into a space that would accommodate eight people. Tiled floor, orange fabric sofas, her daughter’s paintings hung throughout. A television, but also stacks of books for nobody else’s use but the granddaughters. ‘An investment for the future’. A premise against the mark etched onto those like them, white rat, white trash.

Clarisse bobbled over to where I sat, blonde waves neatly pinned back with sparkly barrettes.

“It’s too hot, too hot today,” she said, flapping her wooden lattice fan, pulling at her costume to whisk air down her front. “Mama?”

But her mother was talking to Max, pointing at the ruin of her house next door. Making violent gestures with her hands, fingers that had graced many a canvas.

“Papa?” Her father was in engaged in deep small talk with Max’s mother. The building and moving had become an extended family affair.

How not to fuck up: first, you must preferably arrive in the country in the early 18th century, to fully enjoy the pioneer status.

Amélie joined us on the porch steps, too tired to talk. The girls looked at the pool. Though it hadn’t been used in a year, its recent cleaning held so much promise. They looked at the hose, each other, and went back inside. They would not even ask permission. The sisters knew about the water cuts, most importantly, about the water bills their father wouldn’t pay. The man made Harpagon look like an understatement. The latest: to flush their toilet, you needed to dip your hand into the tank, pull on a knotted plastic string that served as lever. I remember Amélie, in her Princess Elsa dress, hugging her frog plush toy, gently setting it on the cracked floor. Standing on a holed stool, adjusting little knobs to get a little hot water to wash her hands. As she returned to her birthday party guests, I broke the black cord. I didn’t know who should feel embarrassed. I searched for her mother, tell her before any of the other guests could see. She was at the back of the house, washing dishes. Beads off her cheeks fell onto ceramic, plastic. I walked away.

Their place had never recovered from the torrential rain six months back. The mother wept. Her salary would never be enough, in a country where

a woman would never be paid even half as much as a man, no question, no debate. Where the father looked at the accumulating zeros on his bank account in fervent prayer, never spending. Max said the dude masturbates when he checks his balance. * We sat cross-legged on the bed like everyday after work, ready for the ritual mathematics-pyrotechnics of debt.

“I’m telling you, I’m going to sell drugs. I just don’t know how they do it. I mean look at the fucking size – I just don’t know.” This man had promised me a house by the sea by the time we retired.

My fault: we were swimming in another of those brochure lagoons, in a public beach with an expiry date, and I said, “really, there isn’t much point living in this country if you don’t live on the coast.”

Words to an overly intelligent overly ambitious once-poor boy.

We were the last generation that could own property, but conditions applied: your surname, your address, all that apparently didn’t matter, now. The banks wanted all you had plus money you couldn’t save up for, even if you tried. Globalization. Secure Financial Investment. All was contingent on the degree your grandparents and great-grandparents fucked up on the land ownership ladder.

How not to fuck up: first, you must preferably arrive in the country in the early 18th century, to fully enjoy the pioneer status. Then, your ancestor (of appropriate race and lineage) must place his flag on a mountain, or several, and the land bears the stamp of your surname for generations.

Your surname becomes a company. Sugar makes you rich, and then all the waves of cane become useless. Three centuries onwards, you take the abandoned sugar estates, convert them into quasiluxurious plots of land. The site must mimic the said sugar estate life, i.e, have it flourish with fruit trees, turn it into a post stamp of idyllic times.

Illustration: Herr Olsen, Flickr