indigo Issue 730

indigo 21.06.2011

Russell Crowe shares the secrets of his success with Durham students

indigo So, the last editor’s welcome from me.

Or goodbye. I’m a large glass of wine into my day, so frankly, if I were you, I’d just skip to the good stuff. I.e the sections - we’ve lovingly prepared a great send-off edition for you all; an edition for you to cherish, preserve, and bring out reverently to show your children.

When I first arrived, freshfaced in 2008 at Butler, my parents helped me to unpack my room. Before they left they gave me a card to open after they had gone. The quote written inside it is one that every 2011 graduate should hold close to them, as we take our steps into the outside world, as adults, as graduates.

So here it is:

Reviews

Indigo Editor: Madeleine Cuff | www.palatinate.org.uk | Tuesday 21st June 2011

Stage Arts

Seen a film or been to a gig, read a book or heard an album you want to rant or rave about? Have your say... email your short reviews to indigo@palatinate.org.uk “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.

So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream.

Discover.”

---Mark Twain

MUSIC Parklife Weekender Manchester 11th & 12th June ««««« William Mosseri-Marlio

FILM & TV The Hangover Part II Todd Phillips Warner Brothers ««««« Madeleine Cuff

MUSIC Suck It and See Arctic Monkeys Domino Records «««« Nico Franks

Su Doku

Having bought a ticket to Parklife upon the advice of a friend at Manchester before the line-up was released, I was very impressed to see who would be performing. DJ Shadow, Skream & Benga, Andy C, Grandmaster Flash…

The organisers, who are closely linked to the people who bring Manchester the legendary Warehouse Project nights, booked acts whose quality and variety could not be debated. The location and layout of the festival were also excellent, and even the apocalyptic rain that fell on Sunday did not seem to hinder anyone’s enjoyment. However, the sound systems inside the tents were quite frankly feeble. Chants of “turn it up” rang around almost all tents at some stage during the day and during DJ Hype, I could easily hear the conversations of people near me despite being directly in front of one of the two stacks. Should the organisers be able to rectify this noticeable flaw, Parklife will certainly become one of the most anticipated events in the music calendar.

If you’ve seen The Hangover, you’ll know what you’re getting with the sequel. The writers have essentially taken the plotline of the original, and transplanted it into the hazy, bustling city of Bangkok. Which is no bad thing. Why change a formula that works? And the comic potential of four intoxicated Americans let loose in Thailand becomes immediately obvious. Tattoos, explosions, a drug dealing monkey, undercover FBI agents, a missing figure, a corpse in the ice machine, a transgender prostitute: these are just some of the slightly crass but invariably hilarious misadventurers that befall the wolf pack.

The Hangover films are unique in their genre for being cinematically commendable; Part II is peppered with sprawling shots of Bangkok accompanied by an awesome soundtrack.

Funny, but not as groundbreaking as the original, Part II of The Hangover is nevertheless worth a watch.

Graduation Fashion

The purposefully awkward and obtuse song writing of Humbug, the Arctic’s third album, left a bad taste in the mouth of many. However, those who suck this follow up will be pleasantly surprised by its overall sweeter taste. Continuing to evolve from the winning kitchen-sink realism of their overwhelming massive debut, these songs are bolstered by an underlying retro romanticism that sees Alex Turner challenging Richard Hawley for the title of Sheffield’s chief crooner.

On ‘Piledriver Waltz’, Turner flexes his witticisms, warning the unlucky in love, “if you’re gonna try and walk on water, make sure you wear your comfortable shoes”. Lyrical inspiration may have gone walkabout on meat-and-potato singles ‘Brick By Brick’ and ‘Don’t Sit Down ‘Cos I’ve Moved Your Chair’, but it’s hard to argue with the latter’s sheer ballsy force. The band continue to lead the way in the much-maligned genre of British indie-rock.

WANT TO WRITE FOR INDIGO?

Boys, you’ve got it sorted. Turn up clean shaven, in a nice suit and tie, and your gown on the right way round, and you’re golden.

Girls, a little more thought is required. Print is going to look too busy under the heavy drpaing of the gown (there is the all too real danger of looking swamped), so it’s best to keep pattern to a minimum.

Equally, anything shorter than just above the knee is inappropriate for a social occasion with both Bill and your parents present. Go for block colours, structure, and modest neckline.

The jumpsuit is unusual, but beautifully tailored and subtly coloured. If you’re brave enough to go for it, you’ll stand out from the crowd for all the right reasons.

Remember, these photos are going to be on the mantlepiece for years to come, so spend the last of that loan wisely. After all, if you can’t have a new dress for Graduation, when can you?

Email section editors to find out more.

No experience necessary Asos Petite, £50

Dorothy Perkins, £50

French Connection, £55

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Tuesday 21st June 2011 | www.palatinate.org.uk | Features Editor: Alison Moulds

Features

Everything I learned in life, I learned from Durham...

As another year draws to a close, Indigo grills a group of finalists on the life lessons they’ve picked up along the way...

FLICKR ID: SHIMONKEY

that be through plastic smiles, a mask of makeup or a few too many bottles of beer. It’s not only a Machiavellian tactic to conceal your anxiety and angst from frenemies, but the way to make you the life and soul of the party even when you feel more like crawling back into bed.

FLICKR ID: THINK RETAIL

Durhamite in letting their hair down and you only need to go “It was the best of times, it was the to Klute on a Friday worst of times, it was the age of wisnight to know that we dom, it was the age of foolishness...” are experts at shakWho would have thought it would ing off the shackles be Charles Dickens who’d supply known as responsibilthe words so right for describing our ity. The behaviour beloved time treading the tiles of 2. Drunk and disgraceful. Most on display may seem Durham town? to fuel suspicions As a whole host of graduands get set students who have tasted from that to depart from Durham and kiss good poisoned chalice we call the bottom of that we’re frittering the bottle know what it’s like to make a our loans on liquor bye to their hedonistic student years, fool of oneself. From ill-judged kissing rather than literature, we thought we’d ask the Class of ’11 but a quick glance exactly what life lessons they’d scooped choices to exercising that aggressive instinct more than our sober self would at the library come up along the way; we all know it’s the allow, drunkenness seems to breed as exam time is more education outside of the classroom many good memories as bad. And than enough to verify that really matters. whilst we may not have totally clamped that our moments of So from the pithy to the profound, misbehaviour are, for we have colmany, a well-earned lected some “our moments of misbehavbreak. of the best advice from iour are, for many, a well4. Silver spoons. those in the Even coming from a know... earned break” reasonably comfortable middle-class famdown and outlawed the ‘lash’ from ily, I found Durham a 1. How to fake it (no, not that).

Watch your back: wicked whispers can spread like wildfire in our ultra-tiny town our lives (irony all the way there), the shock to the system, Three (or so) years in Durham is training in how to arm yourself against more sensible among us known that an particularly as I’d been your name could not only be tarnished so sure that all students would be all-prying eyes. Life in this little town is angsty mind and empty stomach are on the grapevine but on all the secret9. “You’ve got to f**k a lot of like Big Brother with a vengeance, com- the ingredients for a truly terrible night. wannabe socialists with Che Guvara spreading posters that adorn the colfrogs... ” - so uttered one of my friends If you’re not feeling it, simply steer well posters plastered across their walls. plete with the paranoia that someone lege walls.

So whilst it’ s fair that those in a drunken moment, and for a lot clear of that quaddy!

Plummy voices and Jack Wills are out there is watching (and judging) who overstep the line may be named of students who aren’t coupled up often all-new experiences for the com- and shamed, watch out for rumours each and every move! So every Durthe moment they arrive, university is 3. How to let go. At the same time paratively ‘impoverished’ student, and much further from the truth... hamite knows how to guard themexactly where this takes place. Sexual a few bevies can aid the super-stressed are ones we are unlikely to forget. As selves when times get tough, whether liberation may not much as we’d like to believe meritoc7.

A whole seem synonymous “poke that proverracy reigns, a visit to any upper-crust new kind of with Durham’s uni will teach you that daddy’s bank crazy.

Kids on the (see our bial tail back between reputation balance certainly gives a helping hand playground may feature on Student when it comes to securing success. have been cruel Beans’ latest findyour legs” but when you’re ings), but many a 5. How to spread your wings. exposed to the big, student has racked Without parental controls guarding bad world of university you’re likely to up at least a few ex-lovers their quest your behaviour, uni is the perfect time meet people with an even more imper- to find the perfect partner.inAnd as long to find your feet as an individual, parceptible frame of mind.

Hearing of the as you’re safe (and who does condoms ticularly as we have the college system feuds fought and rumours circulated better than Durham?), getting there in place to provide us with that much- across Durham, it seems that straight (can) be half the fun. needed safety net. For all my derision A grades and a nice loan in the bank of its super-surveillance, it’s clear that hardly proof positive that your next 10. How (not) to heal a broken welfare is at the top of the list of college are door neighbour is right to be your new heart.

Of course we couldn’t gesture priorities, rightly so when not all of are best friend. towards promiscuity with out some quite so sure of ourselves as we’d like to maternal words of warning. I once pretend. But rest assured you’ll come 8.

How to be the smaller perspotted a cheesy but oh-so true sexual a long way... after three years many son.

Sometimes when everything health poster than warned there was no graduands said they’re sad to say good- goes awry we console ourselves with such thing as a condom for the heart. bye to the place which helped them to dreams of being the bigger person, So whilst for some, pulls may seem the carve out their confident new self. the person in the right, with enough cornerstone of the single life, if you’re to ignore the opinion of liable to regrets, remember that the 6. Watch your back. If you thought conviction everyone else.

Well, the dreams are one person to protect yourself from the curtains were twitching on Wistejust that and when reality bites, there’ s making any major mistakes is you. You ria Lane, then Durham’s about to give nothing more mature than accepting may come to regard every passer-by an education in bitching and backthat you’re in the wrong/ have behaved as a friend in our quaint little town, but stabbing that far surpasses Desperate badly, and the best thing you can do is the morning after the confirmation of Housewives. No secret is sacred in the poke that proverbial tail back between a Facebook friend may hardly seem the ultra-claustrophobic enclaves of the Jack Wills remains many Durhamites’ favoured shopping destination your legs. greatest healer for a bruised heart. university college; this is a place where Alison Moulds

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Stage

Stage Editors: Kathy Laszlo & Lyndsey Fineran | www.palatinate.org.uk | Tuesday 21st June 2011

Full Coverage of Russell Crowe’s remarkable visit

“There’s some amazing He went through and took the time to learn all of our names, which was really nice. He gave everyone the opnterviewing an iconic, A-list Holportunity to shine a little bit”. lywood actor was not something And the students’ enthusiastic I’d dreamed would come my way in praise of Crowe’s amicability was not my final term at university. But standing unfounded. I was immediately at ease in the sweltering heat in the gardens of at the start of my interview by the Chad’s college amidst an eager crowd welcoming smile from the Hollywood of journalists clutching notebooks, mi- superstar.My three minute slot with crophones and cameras, reality dawned Russell Crowe and Bill Bryson passed on me and, I must admit, I was pretty in the blink of an eye. nervous.

There was no trace of Maximus Russell Crowe’s long-rumoured Decimus Meridius’ fearsome demeanvisit to Durham finally came about on our as old friends Crowe and Bryson Friday 4th June when the star of awardchatted amiably and good-naturedly. winning films including Gladiator and Asked to explain how the unlikely A Beautiful Mind arrived in the city to friendship came about between teach a master class to aspiring Durham them, Crowe described how he had University actors. The day culminated arranged the meeting as a “gift to my in an exclusive address and film screen- friend” who is a fan of Bryson’s work. ing for members of Durham Student “It came about because a good Theatre (DST) at ‘An Evening with friend of mine had read one of his Russell Crowe’, hosted by Bill Bryson.

[Bryson’s] books on Australia and he The lucky 250 students who managed wanted to know if this was an accurate to secure the sought-after tickets were description of the country”. (The in for a treat; friend, from the 90 minute Newfound“home movie” “He’s really, really friendly land, was directed by referring to Crowe had aland gave everyone the Bill Bryson’s legedly never Down Under, been seen by opportunity to shine a published a public audiin 2001). “I ence before. little bit” found that, My day much to my began at the surprise, this sociable hour of 11.30am, as students is the most accurate objective descripemerged from the intense three-hour tion of Australian culture that I’ve ever workshop with Crowe. Brimming with read”. Bryson, at this point, murmers a enthusiasm, the twenty-four budding quiet “thank you”. actors described their morning as Subsequently, when travelling in “fantastic” and the star as “absolutely England “about six years ago”, Crowe lovely” to work with. The subject of the arranged a dinner at the Dorchester workshop was leadership and original for his close friends and invited Bill thought although Crowe explained Bryson to join them. “What more afterwards that “I really had no plan could I do than invite their favourite beforehand of what the lesson would author?” be”. Instead, “I let the students generate And so it was over “a slap-up Chithe material”. nese meal” that the pair finally met.

Students who participated in the Crowe remembers asking Bryson, workshop seemed to appreciate this who had recently become the Chanfree-spirited approach, which made for cellor of Durham University, “What’s a “surreal” but “really great” experience drama like at Durham?” and hearing according to masters student Rebecca the response “Well, actually, it’s really MacKinnon. good, it’s very strong”. By the end of The students who had worked with the meal, Crowe “had very rashly and Crowe dismissed any negative criticism immodestly agreed to come up here of the star, who famously swore and sometime and teach a drama class”. stormed out of a BBC interview with The promise finally came to fruition Mark Lawson when he was asked if when “recently I read that he was giving his accent in Robin Hood was meant up the chancellorship and so I said that to be Irish. Fergus Leathem described we’d better do it quickly”. Thus began the first moments of the workshop: “it the Twitter furore at the end of May as started very scary, we had to go in and the star wrote “Hey Bill Bryson didn’t there were singers singing choral music you promise me a knighthood if I […] but then he got more and more taught drama at Durham? … If you are personable as it went on”. leaving we need to get this done”.

Rebecca Mackinnon refuted Crowe’s After the workshop, Crowe extough-guy image: “there’s this hard pressed his admiration for the young man reputation that comes about from actors who had stayed focused and Gladiator which results in people being enthusiastic throughout the session. quite scared of him. I was worried about “One of the main lessons” that he hopes how he was going to be but he immeto have passed on is that “one scene has diately put everyone at ease, making thousands and thousands of interpretajokes. tions”. Crowe concluded: “there’s some “He’s really, really friendly and made amazing talent at Durham”. everyone feel individually worthwhile.

Sarah Ingrams

I

DST President Alex Twedell summed up the morning’s event as a “once in a lifetime opportunity” and he hopes that Crowe will stay in contact.

“We’re going to see if we can keep him [Crowe] updated about what’s going on and, you never know, he might come back in a few years and do it all again with a new set of actors”.

An Evening with Russell Crowe: Hosted by Bill Bryson.

Security guards on the doors of The Assembly Rooms Theatre were the only giveaway that Friday night’s event was something beyond the ordinary.

Russell Crowe’s discreet arrival in Durham, heralded by surprisingly little

publicity, was remedied by the thunderous applause and cheers which greeted his entry into the Assembly Rooms Theatre. Introduced by Bill Bryson as “one of the nicest guys in the world but also one of the busiest”, Crowe waved his arms in a mock plea for silence.

Judging by the atmosphere of excitement and sell-out tickets, the evening’s address was undoubtedly the theatrical highlight of the year in Durham.

The first part of the evening was dedicated to the screening of a 90 minute “home movie”, made by Crowe in 1999 shortly after he had finished filming the award winning Gladiator. “You can still see my post-Maximus hair dye growing out,” Crowe laughed.

The film, entitled, The Men Who Couldn’t Finish Things, follows a group of ten friends as they undertake a motorcycle ride across Australia to Darwin.

Crowe claimed that he discussed the plan with Ewan McGregor who “stole my idea” for the 2004 TV series Long Way Round.

“This is the first time that it has ever been screened in any kind of public forum” Crowe explained to the privileged audience; “hello guinea pigs!”

In the opening scene, Crowe discusses the essentially solitary activity of riding a motorbike. Shut off from others by the protective helmet and high speed, it might be seen as the modern equivalent of a lone horse ride. Crowe comically expands his comparison with

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Tuesday 21st June 2011 | www.palatinate.org.uk | Stage Editors: Kathy Laszlo & Lyndsey Fineran

Crowe gives Durham students an acting masterclass

talent at Durham” QUIN MURRAY

Russell Crowe and Bill Bryson: Crowe’s long-rumoured visit to Durham finally came about on Friday 4th June when the awardwinning star arrived in the city to gives students an acting masterclass

the offhand comment “I’ve been looking around but I haven’t found a horse that goes that fast”.

The account of the motorcycle ride and events en route are interspersed with short, personal interviews with the riders about their work, life and interests. Crowe intended the film to “disprove men’s inability to communicate”.

After a brief interval, Crowe and Bryson took to the stage for a question and answer session with members of the audience.

Talking about the early stages of his career, Crowe assured students that fame did not always follow him. He described the “nineteen year apprenticeship” during which he worked as a

DJ in clubs, wrote songs and performed was offered ten percent of the revenue in musical theatre before being cast in of the first film rather than up-front payhis first film, The Crossing, in 1990 at the ment. Subsequently realising the huge age of 25. He explained “if acting is a error, which would have made him series of concentric circles then musical eighty seven hundred million dollars theatre is at the better off, Crowe joked other end of the that “if I had taken that “One scene has spectrum” to film film, I wouldn’t be here”. and urged aspiring thousands and On the contrast actors “if you love between theatre and film, something, keep Crowe agreed with the thousands of trying”. “clichéd answer” that, “You’re bound whilst film is the director’s interpretations” to make mistakes medium, theatre is the as you go along” actor’s. “On stage you’re Crowe said, admitting that one of his in control of how the night is going to greatest was turning down the role of progress” whereas in a film “the actor Aragorn in The Lord of the Rings. With plays just a small, small part”. the film’s budget under pressure, Crowe

“Do not bore people in a theatre” instructed Crowe who argues that tedious plays should be punishable by fines! “I want an experience in the theatre to touch me”, Crowe explained, “I want it to be inspirational. If someone can make me cry, I’ll love them forever”.

Outstanding actors are created by “their connectivity with the material”; their ability to connect absolutely with the character they are playing.

Asked whether the positives outweighed the disadvantages of stardom, Crowe uttered the pearl of wisdom that “fame is good shit”. On a more serious note, he said that he was grateful that fame had allowed him to give back something to his supportive parents.

However, the choice between the life of a famous actor and that of a free man on a motorbike, was “really hard”: “they’re my two great loves”.

“I know that I belong on film sets, it’s my thing and I understand the medium completely”. “I feel a sense of ease and calm” on stepping onto a film set.

However, “if it really came down to it, I’d have to keep my friends”.

Crowe also explained how becoming a father had changed his perspective on life. His sons, Charlie aged five and Tennyson aged seven are his “principal hobby” and he “doesn’t have time” for much else. Yet in the little time that Crowe does have he runs South Sydney Rabbitohs, an Australian rugby-league football team, manages a cattle farm with 770 cattle and indulges a lifelong interest in music. “I don’t have a hobby, I just get involved in things I’m passionate about”.

Yet the 84 day stint away from his family during the filming his new movie The Next Three Days was one of the hardest times of his life. “Kids change your priorities […] you’ll never find anything more fun or more fulfilling than playing with your kids”. Crowe seems to have taken this last wisdom to heart as he admitted to having become a “lego master”.

The evening culminated in a set by Irish-born two-piece band size2shoes.

Comprising brothers Eoin & Moley O’Sullivan, Crowe invited them to play in Durham after hearing and admiring their work on a trip to Ireland. They performed songs with a comic twist, including Take it Easy which, with its hastily-inserted Durham references, delighted the audience. Commenting on Crowe’s film, the band said “it’s a good thing to show to students […] it shows what you can do with one camera and crazy friends”.

The unquestionable highlight of the evening came in the last few minutes as Crowe took to the stage himself to perform a rendition of Bruce Springsteen’s Highway Patrolman. Although he doesn’t “consider singing in tune that f**king important”, his moving performance seemed a fitting end to the unique experience brought about by Russell Crowe’s visit to Durham.

Stage Workshop: a student’s experience

When I first got the call asking me if I wanted to do a workshop with Russell Crowe it took me a while to digest. In fact, right up to the moment that he appeared in front of us, I had a nagging feeling that it was all a wind up. I assure you Durham, it wasn’t.

So, bleary eyed, I trudged down to Chad’s at 8:30am, and there we waited. The first information we were given was instructions on what to do when we entered: sit on the floor, cross-legged, with eyes closed and heads bowed. Don’t do anything until you’re told to.

We filed sheepishly into the chapel. Silence was followed with a short burst of Orthodox chanting from two musicians that Russell had brought with him. At the climax of the chant, the tension was palpable. And then, out of the stillness, unmistakably, came Russell Crowe’s voice. In truth, I can’t recall what he actually said, as, whilst outwardly I was sat totally still, my head was filled with “Oh my word, Russell Crowe is stood about two feet from me!”

The next three or so hours passed in a blur. We first ventured into the Chad’s garden, on what had to be the nicest morning there has ever been in the north of England, where we proceeded to do the first exercise of the day, something Russell explained as us ‘using space’. Basically, we walked around the garden with our eyes closed, looking pretty stupid, but when Maximus tells you to do something, you do it.

We then moved back into the chapel, where we were given a fairly ambiguous piece related, mostly, to apples. We played around with various accents, voices, styles and everything else besides, all the way guided, advised and cajoled by Russell.

Following a quick tea break, we had a two-hour Q & A, with questions ranging from the Hollywood food chain to how best to learn lines (repeat them sixteen times, apparently).

The media storm and photo call was also a huge, if pleasant, shock, with a multitude of press clamouring for our opinion.

However, the greatest privilege of the whole day was being able to share a pint with Russell Crowe after the screening of his film.

Sat in the fading light, talking more informally, I had to remind myself that this chubby, bearded Aussie I was chatting to about rugby league was also a bona fide Hollywood legend. Surreal?

Absolutely. Unforgettable? You bet your life.

Fergus Leathem

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Features

Features Editor: Alison Moulds | www.palatinate.org.uk | Tuesday 21st June 2011

Stage Arts

Sex and the student, the Dr Foot Fish Spa, more on i3

The student’s sexual experience

Prudish or prurient? Student Beans ranks British universities on their amorous antics

H

essarily see the need to get the all clear when it comes to sexual health, as well as those who have rigorously ‘suited up’ whenever getting down and dirty.

doing so due to the fact they didn’t use ting’ to a one-night stand, reinforcing protection (and a further 39% having not only the assumption that a onethe condom split), one would assume nighter need induce at least a little guilt safe sex isn’t necesbut also unhelpsarily the byword reinforcing “oh-so comfortable, fully of most amorous the equation encounters. between sexufairly conservative Poised ally transmitted somewhere infections and average of 4.3” between sex outside of amusing relationships. and anxiety-inducing, But we can hardly pin the blame for the results are revealing sexual immaturity with the survey’s in pointing towards interpreters when they’re grappling just how precarious with a student body similarly afflicted; our attitude toward a student body in which 20% of people promiscuity can have been dumped by text message be. Most students and where 1% of those who took the these days are fairly morning after pill did so because they liberal minded couldn’t remember whether or not when it comes to they’d even had sex. their peers getting Compiling Durham’s own rather horizontal, but salacious sex segment of the Big where do we (and Palatinate Survey was similarly fraught should we) draw the with complications. Giving students line between playa veritable Spanish inquisition about ful promiscuity and their sexual behaviour is never easy, something a little more and friends variously told me they perilous? found the interrogation hilarious or a The site’s survey treads little too close to the bone. the line between all-embracing Monogamy might not seem the acceptance and something a little height of fashion, but slipping between more stereotypical. It seems all in the sheets all-too-often seems to spark favour of the bed-hopping antics of the just as much derision. So perhaps Uni of Glamorgan, but when it comes whilst old prejudices die hard, we down to slating those who have never should be grateful that we’re nestled at been tested for an STI, it points out the oh-so comfortable, fairly conservathat it found 35% of students ‘admittive average of 4.3.

DURHAM UNIVERSITY

only grilled those who were already sexually active. Perhaps we can hope that those who participated were far ot on the heels of our findfrom representative, as the survey ings is that more than half of unearthed several rather bizarre (some Durham students have slept may say ‘worrying’) facts about our with no more than one partner, the fellow students.

UK’s leading student website Student One question, for example, Beans has conducted a survey which unveiled that amongst the top places Durham far down the rankings of the most sexually active universities reasons for missing a lecture were ‘masturbating’ (6%) in Britain. and ‘watching porn’ Listed at number fifty on the site’s (5%), with a further University Sex League, the findings 28% too busy getting suggest that the average number of pelvic to make sexual partners for a Durham stuit to class. But dent is 4.3, placing us roughly on par just when you with Portsmouth, Southampton and thought it was Warwick. safe to deride It’s a far cry from the 10.9 notches racked up on the bed posts by students the results as a product of puerat the University of Glamorgan, ile interviewees, which made it to the top of the rankwe arrive at the ings, closely followed by Cardiff and Brighton. At the bottom of the list was statistic that 38% had never been City University London, which nevtested for an STI, ertheless clocked a not-unimpressive the exact same result average of 3.1. found in Palatinate’s Sceptics may understandably own point towards the survey comparatively small “poised somewhere of student sample size of the behaviour. lasciviously-named As one friend of between amusing and Student Sex Survey mine reasonably 2011, which intersuggested, any rogated only 2,818 anxiety-inducing” couples who have students from ditched their V across the country plates with one another might not nec(hardly a representative sample) and

Alison Moulds

But given that the same survey found that 54% of student females had taken recourse to the morning after pill, with a third of those

Indigo investigate the new high street craze... bright idea of exporting these fish to all corners of the world.

“It’s like having ants swarm all over The enthusiasm for these critters is your feet”, screamed one woman when such that plans are in process for full she dunked her feet into a tank of body immersion into these tanks; an Garra Rufa fish at Durham’s Dr Fish experience for a soul far braver than Foot Spa. Billed by the fad’s founder in mine. the UK, Karen Ho, as “the most enjoyDespite the supposed health benable way to remove a build-up of dead efits, doctors and tabloids are going to skin”, fish foot spas are a craze sweeping town on the potential dangers lurking the nation. Fifty within the tanks. spas currently oper£10 for fifteen “why have 14 US At ate nationwide and minutes and people who suffer a steady states banned the boasting from eczema or turnover, store psoriasis are desperworker Bethany treatment?” ate to see if these is happy with little toothless carp the reception Dr will cure their foot Fish Foot Spa has maladies. received in Durham.

The obsession with these small fish “A lot of kids come in because they began 400 years or so ago when a shep- like the tanks, and older people come herd in Turkey cut his foot and went to be treated for their skin conditions. to bathe in the Kangal hot springs: his Personally, I could sit in there all day it’s feet were sucked and cured. People so relaxing”. But if it’s such an effective began to flock to these springs until way of removing dead skin, then why enterprising businessmen had the Eleanor Ross

have fourteen US states banned the treatment?

Swarms of fish attack each foot, chomping with their toothless mouths on the dead skin around your toes.

“It should have a better effect than a good scrub with a pumice stone,” says Bethany. But what happens to all of the dead skin?

“It is essential that the water is cleaned out between each treatment and that the customer’s foot is sterilised first”. One of the main concerns of health professionals is that if customers with fungal infections are treated, these infections may then spread to others.

Another worry is that these fish poop digested remains of dead skin, which is an unpleasant thought for anybody about to immerse their feet into a vat of Garra Rufa. “The only way to combat this is to clean, clean, clean,” warns Karen Ho. “Sanitation can’t be ensured because they’re living creatures, but it can be improved”.

Slightly unbelievably perhaps, one of the main reasons for wanting to reduce

FLICKR ID: IDROSE

Introducing... Durham’s Dr Fish Foot Spa

Fish foot spas have caused controversy across the globe

the UK’s number of feet fish spas is that the Garra Rufa are a protected species, and it’s thought that the psychological impact of moving them in and out of tanks could cause anxiety. Personally, after lowering my feet into a tub of water swarming with leechlike creatures I’m slightly more concerned about the psychological impact, and I am yet to feel any of the ‘relaxation’ promised by Karen Ho. That said, I agree wholeheartedly that this is the most “interest-

ing way of removing dead-skin”, but surely there can’t be many challengers for this title?

Does this signal a start of a universal movement back to natural remedies?

With so many pills and lotions on sale in Boots it would seem that the market is saturated with products to improve our skin. Perhaps it’s a way of keeping in touch with our ancestors, or, it could be a fabulous new direction in foot beautification.

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Travel Editor: Jess Jones | www.palatinate.org.uk | Tuesday 21st June 2011

Stage Arts

Travel

Here comes the summer!

Still not planned anything for the long holiday? Indigo Travel is here to help, with some handy tips North Sea surf: catching waves at Coldingham

Jon Dickinson

N

ow that the exam period has finally been buried and its memory thoroughly obliterated, many people’s thoughts will have turned to their summer travel plans and rightly so. Your university holidays are the best chance you have to get out and see the world and so for those of you who’ve yet to arrange anything this summer, I present a list of ten ideas to swiftly blow the rest of your student loan on...

John Burn-Murdoch

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Go to the airport. Go now! I’ll forgive you for not finishing this article. It’s still easy to pick up flights to a random destination as long as you’re not picky, but packing can be a shot in the dark.

Don’t go to the airport. With the right amount of planning you can get anywhere in the world without flying and have twice as much fun along the way. Want to go to India? Go via Iran. Try seat61. com, the overland travellers’ bible, for inspiration.

Always try something new: getting gastronomically adventurous with some scorpion kebabs

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Gastronomic travel. Go to a country. Eat EVERYTHING in that country.

The Arctic Circle. Summer can be hot; if you’re ginger, sweaty, or just don’t like the heat, then get out of the fire. Alternatively, there’s some great skiing available in South America at this time, if you can afford the plane fares.

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rider’s support vehicle across Europe to giving ‘home help’ to a Spanish housewife.

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Armchair travel. If you can’t get out and about this summer, why not vicariously experience the encounters and escapades of the likes of Paul Theroux, Colin Thubron, and Bruce Chatwin. And Bill Bryson, of course.

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Be foreign. Even if completely strapped for cash, you can replicate the unique experience of being a traveller in an exotic land by simply adopting another nationality for the day. As an American, wonder at how quaint everything in your hometown is and as any other nationality... well, just don’t do anything racist, okay?

Camp. Hotels and even hostels can be prohibitively expensive in summer and why be locked up in a stuffy room anyway? I’ll be camping in Slovenia by the time you read this but there’s no reason you have to leave the UK. If you’re into trekking or just love being in the great outdoors, the mountainous regions of Scotland are a fantastic place to camp and you can do it for free.

Go fruit picking and earn money !

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Be a mysterious loner. Travelling the world alone is nothing to be ashamed of and is incredibly liberating. Spending weeks upon weeks together is a sure-fire way to strain friendships anyway, so why not make some new ones?

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Nudist resorts. Your exams are over; kick back, relax and get your bits out.

Make some money. It’s no secret that travelling doesn’t have to be spend, spend, spend, with TEFL, fruit picking and other odd jobs available overseas. However, even at this late stage there are options. Many sites, such as workaway.info, can set you up with jobs ranging from driving a horse Nudist resorts and beaches can be a great way to relax post-exams

Lectures are a thing of the past. Exams are a distant memory. It’s the last week of term, and yet all too often the long summer days drift by, wasted.

Sure, we have no trouble filling the nights – they’re wasted in an altogether different fashion – but with so much time on our hands it would be a shame to squander the daylight hours on the sofa, your daily routine constrained by the TV schedule. Instead, I propose we don our wetsuits and grab our boards – that’s right, I’m talking about surfing. In the North Sea. The Northumberland coast is a beautiful part of the world, and were I rid of the shackles of a word limit, I could write reams on its beauty spots – Alnwick Castle, Bamburgh beach and Lindisfarne to name but three. On this occasion; however, we step off the beaten track and venture a few miles north of Berwick to the coastal village of Coldingham.

A stone’s throw across the Scottish border, Coldingham is the archetypal Northumbrian village. Narrow streets pick their way between stone houses, a solitary shop caters for all your needs and seagulls soar overhead, their squawks punctuating the calm.

A short walk from the edge of the village itself is the bay. Coldingham Sands; a broad, sandy beach, stretches between two headlands, creating a bay that is sufficiently sheltered for you to leave your wind-break at home, yet open enough for the wind to whip up quite a swell when conditions are right.

Catch Coldingham on a good day, and it offers some of the best surf outside of the south west. What’s more, as a relatively obscure destination, typically frequented only by locals, you should have the freedom of the waves.

Après surf, dump the gear in the car and take a cliff-top stroll to St. Abb’s head. A tight cluster of cottages perch atop the promontory overlooking the tiny, picturesque harbour below. Make your way down towards the boats and you will find a wealth of quaint little eateries eager to ply you with fish and chips, seafood or a hearty bowl of soup to restore bodily warmth after a few hours of the life aquatic.

At two hours’ drive from Durham, Coldingham is just inside the limits of what I would say constitutes a day trip, and with some of the most stunning scenery in Britain to gaze at on the way, you would be mad not to go!

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Fashion ‘A time to dance’ The year at Durham is entering its last few sun-filled weeks and bringing us into the peak of the social calendar: summer ball season. The balloons are raised, the place names are set, the oceans of champagne are poured. All that’s left is you and your dress. What could be better than a showstopper of an outfit to finish off what may be your final year within the bubble? Down in the depths of the Castle chapel, our beautiful models display a selection of spectacular gowns to compliment the mystery and magic of a hazy midsummers evening.

Stylists: Laura Gregory Hair & Make-up: Laura Gregory Clothes: Asos, French Connection & Topshop Pictured: Alicia Manley, Katy Quickie and Ellie Fisher Photography: Quin Murray

Fashion Editors: Laura Gregory, Tom Weller & Rachel Bailin | www.palatinate.org.uk |Tuesday 21st June 2011

Stage Arts

Tuesday 21st June 2011 | www.palatinate.org.uk | Fashion Editors: Laura Gregory , Tom Weller & Rachel Bailin

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Fashion Stage Arts

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Food Editor: Charlotte Allen | www.palatinate.org.uk | Tuesday 21st June 2011

Food & Drink

Stage Arts

Head to www.palatinate/tv for the latest installment...

Come Dine With Me: the final quarter Palatinate’s competition for best host reaches a murderous conclusion Charlotte Allen Photography: Alice Gwynne

The fourth host: Alison Moulds, Feature editor The Menu: Crustless vegetable quiche Roast vegetable cassoulet with side salad Fruit ‘Champagne’ Sabayon with chocolate dusted filo triangles

Our final dinner meeting comes around all too quickly. It seemed like only yesterday had I been cajoling Matt out of his dressing gown, yesterday that I had been faced with the enormous wreckage of my kitchen; yet here I stood, flustered from rushing from previous commitments, dressed up (somewhat dubiously), towing two housemates and knocking on Alison’s door. It is here

that I realise I have committed a dinner party sin – in my hurry I have left the bottle of wine I meant for Alison on my kitchen table. I shamelessly usher one of the aforementioned housemates in the direction of SPA on North Road with my purse and knock one more time on the door.

When Alison answers the door one to get it started. We all eye each she too looks a tad flustered, but then other across the table, already tryshe has reason to be – a shelf in her ing to establish where we will place kitchen containing her glasses has the blame, and how we will go about collapsed, leaving her with an untimely avoiding it. and dangerous mess to deal with. My The afore mentioned housemates gift faux-pas goes unnoticed in all the take this opportunity to thoroughly flurry, and I get out of the way into realise their roles; Richard flicks his the living room. The spare housemate hair, waves his hand, and bursts into an politely joins me. excellent French drawl, and Aidan reThese two housemates should sponds with a suitably English guffaw. probably have an introduction; when I The atmosphere instantly relaxes and found myself asking around for volun- everyone participates with aplomb. teers for Alison’s Come Dine With Me, The game occurs in parts to fit most resolutely refused the instant they inbetween the courses, so our actors remembered Matt’s nearly-naked fate. depart and Alison disappears to add anyThis resilient pair, Richard Ballard and the finishing touches to her starter. As thing Aidan Grant, were drawn by the task we wait, Greg tells me about his foray to do ahead – acting as two extras in Alison’s into college sport – croquet. Baffled, I murder mystery themed party. The set- am carefully informed of the dangers of with me. I attempt to ting? A wine-growing region of 1920s knocking one’s balls into the ruffage. sigh and groan France, following the death of a rich By the time the starter arrives I am appropriately in distress vineyard owner. We, the dinner guests trying very hard not to eat the table; at this; but I imagine the wine is startwould form the host of characters left having rushed from another commiting to act. I inadvertently reveal that my in his wake. I noticed little red booklets ment I have not eaten lunch, and my placed around the dinner table, each belly is loudly making its plight known. character wanted the victim dead – and At this point I am afraid that I must dessert is signaled. with a character name adorning the The starter is pleasant, though cold; refer readers to Palatinate TV at The sabayon is soft and creamy, but front, in accordance with the email the vegetables retain their bite but I feel palatinate.org.uk. There you will find not quite set, with the cold bite of fresh the results, a fairer representation of the and character descriptions she had that a little reheating may have made strawberry nestling in the botsent around before hand. Just game and of course a better insight into tom. The filo triangles are a little the commendable acting. as I am perusing Francesca’s “The crustlessness is interesting, peculiar, being thin and wafery alias (Marlene Deepditch) I must also point out that we all were rather than crispy. I will admit and considering how mine (a feeling a little bereft at this last meal, successful interior designer and making the quiche more of a tor- that at that point I could have without the prospect of another delistill eaten two of the portions we cious home-cooked meal the following all round woman of the world) were given – but this is probably week. I can certainly vouch that the should stand, Aidan reappears tilla, but I enjoy it thoroughly” more due to my gluttony than with the bottle of wine, and I competition has not only proved tasty, anything else. apologetically present it to our but friendly. I confess that although We play out the final installment of host. the flavours come forward a little more.

I shall not miss the kitchen wreckthe mystery, and Francesca, in a flourGreg arrives, putting my costume The red onions and a hint of garlic age I certainly shall miss the excellent efforts to shame. He has taken his make their presence known, neverthe- ish of German “yah”s admits that she company – and of course the free flow is a spy. Things take a turn, and Greg description of “brilliant scientist work- less. The crustlessness is interesting, of good wine and conversation. shiftily eyes the other guests. Alison ing on a secret project for the governmaking the quiche more of a tortilla, spots him fumbling over his explanament” to a wonderful tweed waistcoat, but I enjoy it thoroughly. We all relish For all recipes go to palatinate.org. tions and fiddling with the glasses, and uk complete with deep crimson velvet more than one portion; evidently our points a decisive finger with a hearty trousers, patterned neckerchief and mystery solving is hard work. watch chain – and of course a pair of More acting (with plenty of creative accusation – Greg crumbles! It turns For all of the comments, the marks that horn rimmed glasses. As I compliment license, and more exceptional accents) out that he indeed is the killer; we all were given, the inappropriate moments read our final excerpts with relish, and and a fuller look into the evening, watch them, he informs me that he can’t follows the quiche, whilst he smell of see out of them; only true dedication the main wafts down the corridor. Ali- settle down to hear the all important the video on Palatinate TV at palatinate. to the murder mystery cause in this son remains an attentive host through- results. org.uk competition. out, even in her role as Francesca soon follows, a German the wife of the deceased. wine merchant from Berlin When the main does toting a brilliant feather arrive it is delicious. A boa to match her subtly flavoured cassoulet daring character de- with a brilliantly crunchy scription. I notice topping, I find that I don’t that we have both miss the meat at all. I’m gone for a swathe not saying a good steak of red lipstick – on the side wouldn’t go and I wonder how amiss - but the cassoulet mine will hold up stands beautifully on its when faced with own. A distinct dash of the dinner ahead. mustard gives the otherI am so hungry that wise background flavour I imagine mine will be of butterbeans more thoughtlessly consumed potency. along with my starter.

In the next round of When we sit down to eat, everyone the game things get more awkwardly studies their booklets. We intense. Francesca’s Gerare told that we must not read ahead, man accent reveals some and that there are certain facts we do evasion, and we uncover not have to reveal. I can see that this the fact that Richard and is going to be challenging after a few I have had an affair, but of glasses of wine, but it is going to need course he no longer wants I don’t take Richard’s rejection too well - or am I just hiding a vital clue?

Tuesday 21st June 2011 | www.palatinate.org.uk | Visual Arts Editor: Tamara Gates

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Stage Arts

Visual Arts Analogue photography: the results Indigo features the work of some keen student analogue photgraphers Anon.

The previous issue of Palatinate aimed to raise interest in the use of ananlogue cameras over digital, and this page features some of the results of film photography. A keen eye for the perfect shot and and an open mind are necessary to take great photos, and these images demonstrate these qualities in some creative Durham students.

If anybody is interested in developing their own photgraphs, Grey College has its own dark room kitted out with all the materials and equipment

required to develop black and white film. While the post-exam period promises to be anything but scorching, why not wile away the days there?The creative possibiliites are endless and it’s fantastic to see your images appearing in front of you, rather than handed over in a packet!

If anybody has any film photographs of their own that they would like to see featured in Palatinate online, just send an email to the address at the top of the page and you could have your art featured. But for now, enjoy the work of some talented student phographers.

Music Editor: Nico Franks & Jess Denham | www.palatinate.org.uk | Tuesday 21st June 2011

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Music Lust For Life: Iggy Pop, Tinie Tempah

Stage Arts

A massive round-up of all the North-East festivals that happened in the

Indigo reviews the North East’s biggest summer music events, featuring Newcastle’s Evolution, FLICKRID: MACKENZIE JEAN

roll excess continued from set opener Raw Power right through till finale Open Up and Bleed, allowing for a full scale stage invasion, multiple expeditions into the crowd on behalf of Iggy (who seemed to spend more time offstage than on it) and circle pit chaos Nico Franks & Jess Denham in between.

Iggy is astutely aware of his reputaMay Bank Holiday weekend hertion as one rock’s most enigmatic alded the return of Evolution festival entertainers, and regularly goaded the as its army of 60,000 descended upon crowd of young and old punk enthusithe Newcastle/Gateshead quayside. asts by raising his middle finger in their With tickets priced at only £35 for two direction and to their delight. Katy B days of musical revelry, the event was may have been beyond capacity but flooded by a tidal wave of teenagers Iggy Pop was beyond compare. and students ready to celebrate postMoving on to the Sunday, and keen exams freedom without breaking the to discover some emerging talent off bank. the beaten track, the first stop was the The acts were spread, like last year, smaller, folk-orientated Ballast Hills over three stages and over two days. stage, where Ellen and the Escapades, Headlining on the Saturday were punk introduced as ‘acoustic pop’, were legends Iggy Pop & the Stooges. And providing the perfect soundtrack to call him what you want – marvel of summer. Hailing from Leeds, the modern science, television ad sell-out, quintet’s wistful harmonies ooze of punk originator – there’s no denying nostalgia and naivety without seeming old-fashioned, with their cover of The Beatles’ Here Comes the Sun and “Tinie Tempah succlosing song Coming Back Home being catchy yet mellow. ceeded in converting simultaneously Next up were raucous Swiss trio Mama Rosin, with their intriguingly even the most irresistible fusion of African, Caribbean Mexican influences. An exciting sceptical amongst his and hybrid of instruments and musical styles reacted to create a bluesy yet audience” powerfully upbeat set, bursting with contagious energy.

Over on the distinctly chart friendly Iggy Pop a place amongst the very best Spillers Wharf stage, Example whirled frontmen of all time. Iggy and his “eter- the masses into a hyperactive frenzy nally damned” Stooges made good on with current number one Changed the their promise to ‘get down and rave like Way You Kiss Me. Across the bridge at a Geordie’, playing a blistering set of all Baltic Square, Annie Mac unleashed out punk classics. her Sub Focus DJ set controversially Unlike the lighting system, which in- half an hour late. termittingly cut out during the first half Tinie Tempah, complete with of the set to plunge the entire stage into trademark wayfarers and high-top darkness, the ageing four piece had a trainers, roused the seemingly endless source crowd with of electricity between club hits one another. An atmosphere of unabashed rock ‘n’

Evolution Weekender

Frisky, Miami 2 Ibiza and the Ivor Novello award winning Pass Out. Charismatic, creatively diverse and anthemic, his set succeeded in converting even the most sceptical amongst his audience. Having warmed the stage for headlining act Plan B, Tinie closed his dramatic performance to the chant of ‘Tinie- Tempah- Tinie- Tempah’, confirming his status as the contemporary star of the modern urban music scene.

Defying generational boundaries Plan B’s set ranged from a somewhat dubious dubstep remix of Ben.E. King’s classic Stand By Me, to a more successfully soulful rendition of Otis Redding’s My Girl. Popular classic She Said saw Ben Drew at his vocal best, yet his relentless attempts to inspire fans into creating a wall of death fell rather flat, much to his evident and rather amusing frustration.

As darkness fell over the quayside, the main stage was illuminated with dramatic red and blue lights as Plan B drew the weekend to a close with MC I.D. entertains the youthful audience with the help of Annie Mac at Evolution the infectious rhythms of Writ-

Cloud Control, legends such as Neville Staple of The Specials, and a whole stage dedicated to the art of the circlepit, over on the heavy metal Sumo stage, Intro festival is fast becoming the festival of choice for the North-East’s many music freaks.

Liverpudlian post-punk outfit Clinic perhaps don’t make the most normal of first impressions, arriving onto the stage of the atmospheric Empire clad in surgeon costumes, complete with surgical masks. However, you have to admire the band’s dedication to the gimmick, never failing to play a show without appearing as a St. Johns Ambulance tribute to Slipknot. Luckily, the band’s mix of forthright guitars, incessant keyboards and precision drumming combine to make the fact you have no idea what the band’s facial features are up to add to the overall sound rather than detract from it.

Next, a move to the Evening Gazette Sounds Stage over in the impressive Town Hall to see the Jools Holland

“Devoted ‘Boro teens throw themselves at one another in a mass circle pit, to the clear surprise of the concerned stewards” ing on the Wall and Prayin’.

Evolution is undoubtedly a fun, value for money event, but to say that the likes of Glastonbury and Bestival need not watch their backs would be somewhat of an understatement. At the end of the day, a glorified car park littered with empty vodka bottles and teenage vomit can only exude so much festival spirit. Added to the treks between stages, the overcrowding and the poor sound system, the traditional festival atmosphere was somewhat lacking.

Having said that, the music was well worth the very reasonable ticket price, particularly on the grassy, chilled-out Ballast Hills stage, so don’t be put off giving this northern festival with an urban twist a shot next year.

Intro Festival Very much Evolution’s older and wiser sister, Intro Festival is the reincarnation of what used to be Middlesborough Music Live. With a notably diverse mix of music on show, featuring up-and-coming indie artists like

starring Vintage Trouble. After the awkward restraint of Clinic, this group of booted and suited American gents, playing a mix of Stevie Wonder meets Ike & Tina Turner good-time rock ‘n’ roll, complete with a pelvis-thrusting nymph of a lead singer, are totally refreshing, granted what they’re doing isn’t particularly fresh.

Hurling ourselves over the musical genre fence to the Sumo stage, we find hardcore punk band Trash Talk providing another master class in rock performance. As lead singer Lee Spielman screams various incomprehensible things over cannonball riffs and manic drums, devoted ‘Boro teens throw themselves at one another in a mass circle pit, to the clear surprise of the concerned stewards. With the band’s bassist scaling the stage’s infrastructure, Speilman strikes a different kind of power chord when he tells the crowd “this set up you got here is pretty cool- support this sh*t and keep it going!”, and receives a rapturous cheer in response.

Back over the genre fence once again, we find the acoustic sweetnothings of Benjamin Francis Leftwich soothing the ears of those at The Central’s Cosmos Stage. Making the female, and some male, members of

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Tuesday 21st June 2011 | www.palatinate.org.uk | Music Editor: Nico Franks & Jess Denham

Music and more kick off Festival season ‘11

Stage Arts

past month, including Evolution, Intro Festival and Jam By the Lake

Middlesborough’s Intro Festival and Durham’s very own student-run Jam By the Lake FLICKRID: JAZZY LEMON

the stage like pros having performed at Newcastle’s Evolution back in May, Baron and partner in crime Mr Breeze, complete with top hat, suit, tie, moustache, pocket watch and sunglasses, ordered their mesmerised audience to ‘spas out like you’ve never spassed out before’ as the chorus to Get Wild Gan Mental packed an innovatively hefty punch.

Headline act Polarsets, of Radio One’s Big Weekend fame, returned for an encore due to popular demand after a memorable set last year. Their unashamedly DIY attitude to techni-

“Venice Under Water offered refreshing proof that the Durham bubble really can launch exciting new talent”

From Radio 1’s Big Weekend to Van Mildert: Geordie rap troupe Baron Von Alias

the audience visibly swoon, Benjamin sings with a maturity that belies his age (he’s 21). There’s no doubting that there’s an audience for his chord-based romantic middling, whether or not he’ll develop into the same calibre of distinctive young singer-songwriters like Laura Marling or Pete Molinari the audience visibly swoon, Benjamin sings with a maturity that belies his age (he’s 21). There’s no doubting that there’s an audience for his chord-based romantic middling, whether or not he’ll develop into the same calibre of distinctive young singer-songwriters like Laura Marling or Pete Molinari though will perhaps rest on how many more messy relationships he can cram into his formative years.

Closing the Town Halls’ stage, Darwin Deez manages to trump all the other performers on the day. Accompanied by a band of skinny (but practically obese when compared to Darwin himself) musically gifted extroverts, the whole band exuded confidence, especially on biggest hit Radar Detector. The band’s attitude to

their set seemed to be to have as much fun as physically possible, peppering the performance with catchy riffs, extended rap freestyles and meticulously choreographed dance routines featuring all four musicians. With the audience deliriously lapping it up, the band were given an extra 15 minutes of stage time, allowing for more of those dance moves and a few extra songs that sound like the Strokes if all five were on an extensive course of Prozac.

By catering to a whole spectrum of different tastes, Intro festival successfully brooded an atmosphere where everyone seemed genuinely happy to be there, despite the shabby weather. I won’t be in Durham next year, but I’m still going to make the trip to ‘Boro for this gem of a festival.

Jam by the Lake Arriving on Saturday 11th June for Van Mildert’s free annual music

festival, Jam by the Lake, it became instantly clear that many fair weather supporters had been deterred from attending the highly anticipated event due to the appalling weather. However, despite the drizzle, the enthusiastic crowd gathered in front of the main stage with pints of cider firmly in hand were refusing to let their spirits be dampened, whilst others opted to defiantly lay out rugs upon the lawn under a host of gazebos and colourful umbrellas. Their efforts were soon to be rewarded by the host of musical treats that followed.

With upcoming gigs at the O2 Academies in Newcastle and Islington, Durham’s own Venice Under Water offered refreshing proof that contrary to popular belief the Durham bubble really can launch exciting new talent as they well and truly got the party started, throwing some indie/trance flair into the mix with pulsating drums and nu-rave style synths. Similarly earlier acts The Love Pumps, described

by NME as ‘clearly designed to get youngsters in the mood to smoke

hemp and fornicate’, soulfully contemplative Ash Cooke and self-confessed ‘groovy blues’ gang Moist were thankfully unearthed from Durham’s seemingly non-existent music scene.

Ska and reggae fusion band Too Spicy commended us for ‘knowing how to skank’, whilst The Generals’ booming bass lines reverberated around Mildert’s lawn, taking no prisoners. Newcastle/Sunderland five piece Chased by Wolves showcased their bluesy Americana style with lead vocalist Emma Williams adding a seductively feminine edge to the folky, Dylan-esque Be My Love. The quintet expressed gratitude toward those ‘sticking round’ despite the rain, their engaging, atmospheric performance a perfectly acceptable thank you.

In a sharp stylistic shift, experimental rap act Baron Von Alias arguably stole the show, despite having been drafted in at the last minute to replace a band that had been forced to pull out. Storming

cal problems- ‘we just have to draft in some gaffa tape to fix the drum kit’- was endearing, their unfailingly enthusiastic efforts to create a summery vibe against the disappointingly grey backdrop hugely successful. Having previously performed alongside the likes of Ellie Goulding and Delphic, their African style percussion soon had the crowd embracing their inner child, blowing bubbles onto the stage to feel-good tracks such as Sunshine Eyes and Morning Master.

With an enticingly diverse line-up ranging from acoustic and folk to rap, punk and ska, Jam by the Lake delivered exactly what it promised despite the rain: an enjoyable, chilled out festival, free and open to all,

with something on offer for everybody.

Film & TV Editor: Rachel Aroesti | www.palatinate.org.uk | TuesdayStage 21st June 2011 Arts

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Film & TV

This has been created for your entertainment Chelsea girls and guys star in the latest ‘reality drama’, but can Made in Chelsea really call itself either?

Rachel Aroesti

F

or a while now the mass media has revolved around celebrities.

So it’s only logical that the media should want to create their own breed of these money-making monsters – from scratch. Big Brother contestants were, it seems now, an early prototype.

Their design fault was their lifespan which became briefer with each series.

What the media needed was a batch of celebrities whose lives the public could continually follow, not just like a soap opera, but as an actual soap opera.

These people wouldn’t be tainted by desperation, as reality television show contestants traditionally were, but could instead be something to aspire to. Most importantly though, they would be accessible to viewers and to the press, as they were working for, and part of, the media itself.

Made is Chelsea is the latest progeny in this branch of celebrity culture, with the seemingly foolproof ‘reality

soap opera’ formula applied to wealthy Londoners. Unlike the characters in the show, though, its descendents weren’t always noble - but they have always been rich.

The legacy of the most successful family of these shows can be traced pretty easily back to MTV’s Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County, in the early Noughties. Laguna Beach produced The Hills, and from The Hills out came The City, each programme adorned with its very own cyclical plotlines and repetitive dialogue, like a sort of Russian doll of banality.

Then the family tree branched out into Britain with The Only Way is Essex, and now Made in Chelsea. Their less glamorous cousins, Jersey Shore, and spawn of Jersey Shore, Geordie Shore, helped make the genre ubiquitous.

The attraction of these shows is partly due to the idea that the audience is getting an insight into someone’s real life, but everyone knows that people’s lives do not resemble soap operas, so BELLA FRANKS

Made in Chelsea is the latest in a series of ‘reality soap operas’

Whitney Port aka nicest girl alive, meets meanest girl alive, Olivia Palermo while working in the fashion industry. In season 2, whole episode is centred around Japanese people commenting on the smallness of Palermo’s face. The City is cancelled.

The guys and gals of Essex are rounded up to debate pressing issues of the day, such as who is the best club promoter in Essex and is it good to get a boob job. Unexpectedly charming.

Lauren from Laguna Beach moves to LA, to ‘study’ fashion. She makes a lot of friends. They all happen to be actors. in order to bend and twist them to fit the form, they need to be fictionalised.

This results in people acting out their lives, which is why the format is best suited to LA (or somewhere where dialogue from a badly-acted episode of Hollyoaks can pass as real conversation i.e. Essex). Unfortunately, it seems that Sloane Square isn’t the natural home of wannabe thespians, instead it is the home of very, very bad acting.

The bad acting makes it harder to know how to react to what’s on screen.

In the third episode of Made in Chelsea, Ollie breaks up with girlfriend Gabriella (which doesn’t come as much of a surprise since he has had to restrain himself from shuddering and gagging in her presence for two previous episodes, while looking so terrified when she suggested any alone time, it was as if he had just been told he had hours to live), but does so in such a staged, melodramatic manner that I found myself laughing out loud at a woman crying hysterically about her failed relationship. Which then made me feel kind of bad. But then I thought, no, I have every right to be laughing at this woman’s tears. Isn’t that what they’re there for?

Part of the fun of the reality drama is judging the people who are paraded before us, with the gratification that it is real people we are judging, and the consolation that it’s not really real people that we are judging. You can write Hugo off as a man who looks like he’s been injected with a very heavy sedative and is trying really hard to stay awake to watch the end of

is that the main characters must all be incredibly bland. The problem with Made in Chelsea is unfortunately that they are too boring, which is no small achievement – dullness being a gene in the reality soap family line that is always inherited. But this is where Made in Chelsea doesn’t ring true. Shamefully, I thought that perhaps all people in California were completely humourless and that maybe people Essex really did only talk “Part of the fun of the reality inabout plastic surgery. But I do know that being completely drama is judging the people personality-free isn’t just the of life’ in London. And who are paraded before us” ‘way I’m sure these people do have personalities, but in order for the show to function, a lapdance, or dismiss Milly with her everything even slightly complex must slow Chelsea drawl and dead eyes as a be forgone for the pointless, boring, girl who seems to be continually com- simple storylines to flourish. ing round from a spiked drink.

As these shows breed and multiply, By passing judgement, it becomes soon we will be able to tune into what’s clear that these shows hinge upon happening in any region of Britain. But a strange mixture of aspiration and we should be careful to remember that derision - the viewer can both aspire to this is not a representative of life on be like the stars of the show, while also screen, because the truth is stranger, taking some comfort from the fact that not to mention more interesting, than they are not them. fiction. And as these programmes are Most of the ‘personalities’ though, consigned to the latter category, we defy description, because one of the can at least take solace in that. necessary qualities of the reality soap

Game of Thrones: HBO attempts to fill the fantasy void Ed Owen

GoT plays out, beginning with Ned Stark grudgingly coming to the capital city to be the King’s Hand (read: Prime Minister) in the wake of his predecessor’s suspicious demise.

Whilst much of my word count has been spent explaining the story, it’s because it is sprawling in nature; the myriad of characters and plotlines requires you to concentrate at all times or you will find yourself on the back foot, and this will put some people off.

But for those willing to stick with it, GoT is excellent, interspersing the sea of political intrigue, with gripping characterisation (Peter Dinklage’s character, Tyrion Lannister, is a delight), revolutionary fervour (from ambitious individuals and the overthrown, exiled Targaryens) and even sword-fighting.

The tension is raised by the rarity of the fighting - a brave move in an actionheavy industry.

This is honestly great television.

Not just for geeks: Game of Thrones may be fantasy but it has a wide appeal FLICKR ID: NORDISKE MEDIEDAGER

‘Like Lord of the Rings, but with sex’.

This is how Sean Bean chose to describe Game of Thrones in a promotional piece for Empire, and for a certain demographic this will be all the convincing needed to watch HBO’s new series.

However, for those of you not accustomed to (or even repulsed by) sweeping fantasy epics, I implore you - Game of Thrones is well worth your time and effort.

This is because it isn’t strictly a fantasy. Whilst the place names resemble something out of Tolkien’s thesaurus, GoT is an entirely different beast to that particular canon. It’s a story of political intrigue, human relationships and the lust for power - all universal themes found in any drama worth their salt, whether it be grounded in New York, London, or the mythical

kingdom of Westeros.

Based on George R. R. Martin’s best-selling fantasy series, A Song of Ice and Fire, Game of Thrones follows a post-revolution narrative twenty years after the mad King of Westeros, Aerys Targaryen, is ousted in a rebellion orchestrated by Robert Baratheon (played by Mark Addy - the fat guy in the Full Monty) and Ned Stark (played by Sean Bean, dressed as Boromir). With the demise of their common cause political infighting has ensued, and the soldiering leaders who led the original charge have either disappeared into political isolation (Sean Bean’s character) or taken to drink and whoring (Mark Addy, now an impotent, reluctant King), lamenting times when honour mattered in the wake of the Machiavellian political animals who now hold all the cards.

It is against this backdrop of fading honour and backroom politics that

Tuesday 21st June 2011 | www.palatinate.org.uk | Books Editor: Hannah Shaddock

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Stage Arts

Books

Philip Pullman and religion, the impossibility of happiness and more...

Review: Michael Foley’s The Age of Absurdity FLICKRID: BORKAZOID

Michael Foley’s new book investigates whether the demands of modern life prevent us from being happy Sam Cane

J

ust when our enslavement to the demands of mass media and popular culture, both on the collective attention and on the pocket, could scarcely be more absolute, Michael Foley comes up with The Age of Absurdity: Why Modern Life Makes It Hard to Be Happy.

With so many branches and forms of communication dictating what we do, what we think, wear, watch and hear apparently solving the conundrum of that sub-title, we might be forgiven for wondering what more needs to be said. It is the mixed messages about how to look and what to believe that leave us perplexed about

our prescribed, yet ever-fluctuating, value system, right?

Well, before that assumption prevails and a book is judged by its cover, it is worth observing that, whilst The Age of Absurdity is indeed a sobering primer that mercilessly critiques the eccentricities of the modern condition, it is also an infectious, instructive satire rather than a moralistic indictment revealing uncomfortable home truths.

The inaugural chapter, ‘The Absurdity of Happiness’, sees Foley charting the invasive and bewilderingly diverse box-ticking process apparently necessary to prove to society that an individual is “one of the crowd” – the material acquisitiveness, sexual adventurousness and independence which indicates that a person is “well-adjusted”, attractive, and, wait for it, normal.

Like Lester Burnham’s opening narration to American Beauty, Foley’s initial musings outline the tensions and frustrations abundant on the road to societal acceptance, ending on the suggestion that happiness is not contentment itself but the practice and satisfaction of the will.

Though there are points during this scenesetting when the poetic licence, infused though it is with impact and humour in its account of how, allegedly, “to fit in”, might leave us asking “And?”, Foley duly announces the intent of

Indigo recommends: Oh Comely magazine Though it may not be offering any free make-up, hot looks for summer, or juicy celebrity scandals, there are still ample reasons to check out newcomer lifestyle magazine Oh Comely.

Oh Comely is an independent, London-based magazine that selfconsciously sets itself apart from comparable women’s glossies. As its editors succinctly state, “it is a magazine about people and their quirks rather than money and what it can buy.”

The focus is on aesthetics and experiences over appearances, as Oh Comely prides itself on encouraging creativity and curiosity. “Comely” describes that which is agreeable and pleasant, reflecting the elegance and understatement which characterizes the magazine.

There is an underlying nostalgia present throughout, apparent not only in the muted photography, his project – to “…trawl philosophy, religious teaching, literature, psychology and neuroscience for common ideas on fulfilment”. A multigeneric quest for the origins and possibility of happiness, then, embracing the sciences genetic and social, fundamental doctrines guiding ethical conduct, and seminal texts Eastern and Western, to ask how satisfaction can be so elusive when humanity is so incorrigibly proud.

It would be difficult to stylistically pigeon-hole Foley’s book, but “a historical analysis” might be a valid classification, since it contains a wealth

“an infectious, instructive satire rather than a moralistic indictment ”

which casts a vintage veneer over the pages, but in the high proportion of articles about childhood memories.

Features on homemade crafts and the correct way to brew tea also reveal a longing for simpler pleasures.

The magazine’s tagline is “Keep your curiosity sacred,” encapturing Oh Comely’s aim to inspire readers to rediscover the wonder and adventure of childhood.

The design of the magazine als contrasts with mainstream publications: a quick flip through the pages reveals a deliberate use of white space and a muted colour palette. Overall, the design is characterized by simplicity, foregrounding the content and forming an effective backdrop for the vintage, Polaroid-style photography throughout.

Oh Comely is available in a selection of independent sellers across the country, and has also been picked up by WHSmith. It would make a thoughtful gift for the “alternative” soul - unless of course you decide to keep it for yourself.

Rebecca Lee

of reportage and insight into cultural and intellectual definitions of happiness, and curious case studies (including claims that children who reject offers of marshmallows may go on to be happier and more successful in their adult lives).

To be sure, Foley’s book is no selfhelp guide, those well-meaning but superficial handbooks for beautifully derided in Chapter Four, ‘The Old Self and the New Science’, but that is not to say he merely commentates.

On the contrary, he also inspires, concluding that absurdity is neither to be celebrated nor scorned, but merely accepted, and that life’s manifest oddities and contradictions go far in accounting for and accentuating its beauties, both apparent and hidden.

latter is capable of all the miracles spoken of in the original story, and is convinced of forming a higher institutional Just as religion is inextricably woven order, which his brother rejects. They into our lives, so is it in literature. There are both flawed characters, Jesus often is no defined formula for the treatment reacting rashly and Christ displaying of religion in literature, making it an naïve and conniving attributes. oft-returned to theme that is repeatedly Pullman is widely known as an redefined and reinterpreted. atheist so his work may be an extreme Philip Pullman’s latest novel The example of modern literary treatments Good Man Jesus and the Scoundrel of religion – unsurprisingly The Good Christ is a modern example of a work Man Jesus and the Scoundrel Christ has of literature dealing with religion. More been condemned by many Christians specifically, Pullman deals with Chris- as blasphemous. tianity and the founding of its instituHowever, there are several other tion, the Church, focusing on the story examples of controversial modern of Jesus Christ. literature dealing with religion.

He retells the origins of Jesus by George Orwell’s Nineteen Eightygiving him a twin brother, Christ. The Four, for instance, represents the theme former is the prophet who was good of a godless world constructed upon and spread good, attainable ideals of totalitarian lines, while Aldous Huxhow to lead a virtuous life, while the ley’s The Devils of Loudun represents a Priyanka Hutschenreiter

world where a religion is intolerant of other religions or the infringement of its rules of behaviour.

In comparison, Pullman’s novel takes a different approach, reinterpreting an existing religious story. In a discussion aired on BBC Radio 4 in April, Pullman explained his approach to the novel, declaring that his object was to narrate his own interpretation of the gospels, deliberately refraining from reading the work of Jesus scholars.

In The Good Man Jesus and the Scoundrel Christ, Pullman evaluates the gospels in a different light and, though it is indubitably controversial, it cannot be seen as a heinous attack on faith. Pullman treats the story of Jesus Christ as a myth, not fact. However, it is important to note that Pullman does not exclude supernatural forces from the story as Mary is impregnated by an

angel, while the child Christ performs miracles to save his brother from trouble.

Indeed, Pullman’s past work is very much engaged in fantasy and the supernatural. Thus, to him, the gospels are stories, which can be reinterpreted over and over, and do not have to be seen as the truth. Ultimately Pullman strips the institution of its veil of idealization, and also creates Jesus as a realistic character, as a man - a hero, but a man nonetheless.

Pullman’s new book is undoubtedly provocative, but he is not the first to contest established views of religion and he will not be the last. In the end, however, it could be suggested that the act of ardently arguing a cause in literature, as Pullman advocates atheism, is a faith in itself.

FLICKRID:THEMANBOOKERPRIZES

Philip Pullman’s new take on the relationship between faith and fiction

Games Editor: Jon Zhu | Photogrpahy Editor: Quinton Murray | Tuesday 21st June 2011 | www.palatinate.org.uk

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Stage Arts

The Back Page The gaming state of mind

Games and Photography

in the new millennium, a different gaming world of ‘avatars’, where every ext time you’re at a party/ character in a videogame has a personsoirée/gathering, and are deep ality beyond their muscles. Consein conversation, try discussquently the new studio, Gearbox, are ing video games; Call of Duty, FIFA, presenting Duke’s personality with a Football Manager, Gran Turismo, certain postmodernist irony - that he all the greats. Chances are, you’ll see is a stereotype long since surpassed by these reactions in your conversations; the gaming industry, and that they can a glazing of the eyes, incessant nodmake fun of Duke’s heinous actions ding, an overuse of the word ‘yeah’. If with a knowing wink. one member of your party is socially Yet I would hold that this is not stunted, you might experience a yawn correct; gaming has not evolved or two. But for the vast majority of us, enough to mock itself. Whilst console the topic of computer games will be juggernauts such as Modern Warfare met with scorn, apathy or even hostil2 have been hailed by critics such as ity. But why is this?

Charlie Brooker [Guardian] to be ‘the Before this question, a quick aside; Citizen Kane of shooting people in the the 10th of June represents a watershed face’, one must take note of the latter moment for the gaming industry; segment of that sentence; the ‘shooting it’s the day that the legendary game people in the face’. This phrase betrays Duke Nukem Forever is released after a general assumption in society that 13 years of delay . This rescheduling though gaming may now be ubiquihas undoubtedly caused a certain tous in the popular psyche, at the heart outdating of Duke’s character; he is of a game lies a menial task; shooting what one might call the ‘typical lad’ people in the face, driving really fast, - a misogynistic, brawny but oddly winning at a sporting event. This perhilarious individual who frequents ception is prevalent at the heart of sostrip clubs and has a penchant for hot, ciety’s view of games as a medium, and scantily-clad women. His character is as such is the reason why games are still very much a product of early 90s game- not taken seriously as a medium. One development - a macho, beefcake, can argue that the games industry does bullet sponge. nothing to dispel this assessment of What is crucial about Duke is that itself. Indeed, most games conform to this character wasn’t simply a tabula these stereotypes of shooting, driving rasa, blank slate character, but had his and sport. But this perception is not own personality, as singularly offensive necessarily due to technological limitaas it might be. But now he’s landed tions, but ideological ones - games

N

and thus the creative input, has moved on to such a stage where gaming can offer its own Citizen Kane, Godfather or Casablanca.

In an industry where games sport such revolutionary technology beyond its perceived simplistic image (facial motion-capture of L.A Noire) and boundless creativity (wormhole based physics puzzles and black humour of Portal), one can justifiably say that gaming has a legitimate claim to be no longer a subculture of film, but an equal medium in its own right, elevated by its interactivity.

In conclusion, citing LA Noire’s case, a recently released 1940s crime simulator in which the developer took the revolutionary (and risky) approach of priding detective work over shooting, the game leapt beyond the crass presentation and simplisitc technology Do gamers still carry the immature, teenage basement-dweller stereotype? often synonymous with computer games (take a bow, Call of Duty). publishers cannot help but present middle-aged women being shocked This game is an embodiment of the itself in the worst possible light, with by the gore. Implicitly, EA had marmore cerebral gaming that is coming the monolith of publishers, Electronic keted an adult game to children, and to the forefront, but what’s pleasing Arts, being the chief perpetrator. A conservative cultural commentators, is how welcome it appears to be. As good example of this comes from their such as FOX News, picked up on this. Brooker suggests, ‘(it is) the equivalent promotion of Dead Space 2. Dead As a result EA had held back its own of films of the intelligence and quality Space, a third-person shooter based on cause to be taken seriously, perpetuat- of 2001: A Space Odyssey and The the film Event Horizon, involves the ing the stereotype that gamers are just Maltese Falcon not just being released gory shooting of mutated monstrosiimmature, spotty, teenage basementto great fanfare in 2011, but actually ties on space stations. dwellers, rather than consisting of a going on to smash box office records.’

Naturally, the game was 18-rated. broad demographic, encompassing all One thing’s for certain; it’s a lot better But in the promotion of the bloodbath, ages and lifestyles. than Duke.

EA used the slogan ‘Your Mom will Gaming does not exist in that hate this’, with viral adverts featuring incarnation any more. The technology, FLICKR ID: L Hollis Photography

Ed Owen

A snapshot of Durham

Quin Murray

A year of the work done by Palatinate Photographers in Durham. Interested in taking over the position of photography editor? E-mail photography@palatinate.org.uk

Quin Murray

Chris Willetts

Quin Murray

Will Nicholls

We’re having a reshuffle of the photography team, so if you’re interested in shooting events next year get in touch