Her Times August 2016

H CAREERS E R Reinvented

TIMES

Women share how they W

crafted c new careers.

p.6

Silver lining

Mom finds creativity in ADHD teen. p. 10

Baby swim

Should your little one make the splash? p. 16

S U N D A Y, A U G . 7 , 2 0 1 6 • A M O N T H LY S U P P L E M E N T T O T H E E R I E T I M E S - N E W S

2 • HER TIMES

Teach a game, earn rewards

T

his edition is themed around back to school, and this summer my youngest son schooled me in humility.

Ryan Eckert, 24, started playing tennis with me regularly. I was thrilled that he would even want to play tennis with me.

I have played tennis most of my life, so I beat him pretty handily the first few months, and then he improved with my help. I taught him how to amp up his service game and push his opponent off the court. The more he learned, the tougher it was on me.

I almost beat him 6-1 in the first set during our early matches, but then he started winning the second set. On one hot muggy day, I didn't make it through the second set because I was cramping everywhere.I started to regret that I had said I would kick his butt when I'm 70.

One day he won the first set and worked his way out to a commanding lead in the second set, but I tied him, and we were rained out.

By the time you read this, I hope I will be victorious in our rematch, but I fear my ability to beat him easily or even at all will be over soon. I have to admit seeing him duplicate my serve and a lot of my signature shots does make me proud. There's also a part of me that has to admit I'm not as young as I think I am, but I am still crafty.I will find a way to outfox him.

Enjoy this edition of Her Times. A lot of women share some terrific lessons.

Pam Parker, editor pam.parker@timesnew.com

H Reinve E CARnEteEd RS R

ON THE COVER Amy Buechel changed her career from teacher to nurse after her husband had cardiac issues.

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Pam Parker has been playing tennis with her son Ryan Eckert, left. Her husband Kim Parker is at right.

All content, including the design, art, photos and editorial content Š 2016, Erie TimesNews. No portion of this magazine may be copied or reprinted without the express written permission of the publisher.

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CONTACT US Her Times, c/o Erie Times-News, 205 W. 12th St., Erie, PA 16534 Niche Publications Editor, Brenda Martin, brenda.martin@timesnews.com 870-1771 Editor, Pam Parker, pam.parker@timesnews.com 870-1821 Advertising, Bill Dietz Jr., bill.dietzjr@timesnews.com 870-2201

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HER TIMES • 3

FA S H I O N

By Christine Eddy Contributing writer

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or working moms, finding balance can sometimes be hard, but Ainslie Brosig — wife, mother and director of the Experience Children's Museum —proves that it is not impossible. When it comes to balancing things in her life, Brosig tips the scales. The items in her purse help her to navigate her very busy days.

Brosig opened up the contents of her canary yellow, Kate Spade bag.

Brosig is mother to Maddy, 8, and Brody, 4, and stepmother to Natalie, 13. She carries plenty of child-related items in her bag. She pulled out a toy truck and Fruit Smiles, which keep her

Ainslie Brosig empties her purse for Her Times. CONTRIBUTED PHOTO/CHRISTINE EDDY

Day coupons that she had in her bag: "good for eating vegetables," "good for cleaning my room," "good for washing dishes," "good for a free hug" and "good for a free kiss."Inside of her purse, she had a cobalt blue wristlet with some basics like her insurance card, credit cards, health insurance cards and gift cards.She also had a multi-colored Vera Bradley cosmetics bag in her purse. This is Brosig's survival kit, and it includes ibuprofen,

contact solution, Neosporin, bandaids, tissues, wipes, Post-its, pens, a tablet and some gum.

She had all of her loyalty cards, passes to Waldameer Park & Water World and membership card for the Erie Zoo in a Vera Bradley I.D. case.To keep business separate from personal, Brosig carries another Vera Bradley I.D. case that includes the credit card for the Children's Museum, additional museum cards and a tax-exempt card.

She has some museum day passes in her purse that read, "Share the experience." Brosig enjoys passing them out to others.

A coffee lover, Brosig had a Great Value Donut Blend Keurig in her purse.

Brosig admitted to being a huge card lover, which explained her coupons for Hallmark.She also showed me a Jamberry nail album.

Brosig proves on a daily basis that balance isn't something you find, it's something you create. The items in her purse play a small role in helping her to achieve this. HT Christine Eddy is the development director at the Erie Art Museum.

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son Brody entertained during Maddy's soccer games.Brosig is the assistant coach of her son's EYSA "Lifetouch Stars" soccer team. Her husband, Nate, is the coach. She had the roster in her purse. In the event of an emergency that requires cancellation of a game or practice, she has everyone's contact information handy.

Maddy plays soccer for Erie Admirals, EYSA and West County. Brosig had Maddy's headband —which keeps her hair off her face during practice and games —stuffed into her purse.The Brosigs had family photos taken in March, and Brosig still carries her daughter's navy blue hair bow in her purse from the photo shoot.She carried a Tailwinds business card because her daughter takes riding lessons. She had some nice photos of her daughter on her horse.Because her daughter's birthday was right around the corner, Brosig had a grocery list of items that she needed to pick up for the pool party.

When Brosig has some down time, she and her family enjoy going strawberry picking. She had a postcard inside of her purse for Strawberry Acres.Brosig showed me the Mother's

4 â&#x20AC;˘ HER TIMES

FOOD THINKSTOCK.COM

Latte artistry fills your cup

By Christine Eddy Contributing writer

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atte art. What is the buzz really all about? Baristas are rising and grinding and going the extra mile for their customers by doing fancy pours and creating latte art on top of their customers' favorite brews.

WHAT IS IT? Latte art is a method of pouring coffee into steamed milk in an espresso that results in a pattern or design on the surface of the latte.

it's a measure of quality control. "Latte art can only be created when the milk is steamed properly, and the espresso shots are poured properly. So for me, I can ensure every barista is making drinks to our standard just by looking at the art," he said. Second, "Coffee shops that do latte art makes it easier to distinguish themselves from chains.

While those kinds of shops deliver great coffee, they have a larger focus on speed."

Finally, the most obvious reason for the popularity of latte art is that it simply impresses customers."What's better than looking down at your latte and seeing a beautiful flower?" asked Cammarata.

HISTORY Latte art in the United States developed on the West Coast a couple HOW DO YOU LEARN of decades ago as cofIT? feehouses became more Practice. Practice. popular, according to Practice. Cammarata several coffee blogs. The was introduced to the popular heart and rosetta technique in a barista patterns developed certificate class with the quickly.

Specialty Coffee AssoLatte art has been around Brew Ha Ha barista Jes ciation of America. He Velez creates latte art. for years, but over the last learned how to create the CONTRIBUTED PHOTO/ few it has become standard right texture in the milk CHRISTINE EDDY in many specialty coffee to "draw" on top of the shops. Brew Ha Ha in the espresso. Following that, Colony Plaza on West Eighth Street he watched videos online and pracenjoys presenting its customers with ticed on every latte. masterpieces in mugs.

DESIGNS WHY NOW? The designs used in latte art are According to Brew Ha Ha manager endless. The classics include hearts, Jesse Cammarata, staff members tulips and rosettas (a fern-like design). create latte art for three reasons. First, Cammarata's favorite design is the

rosetta with a heart on top.

"Other baristas at our shop have been more adventurous and have created multi-layer tulips, swans and one of our Harry Potter-loving baristas even created a Snitch," Cammarata said.

HOW HARD IS IT TO LEARN? According to Cammarata, the basic technique of steaming milk and pouring espresso can be learned in about an hour. However, it takes a lot of practice to master the perfect pour. "You must control everything from how fast you pour, where in the cup you are pouring, how far you hold the pitcher from the cup, and how you manipulate the foam to create a design. I tell my baristas it takes at least 100 lattes to get one right, and another 100 before you can do it consistently," said Cammarata.

TRENDING When it first appeared, latte art was a big deal for the customer experience it offered. "I think what latte art offers in larger cities today is more of a benefit to baristas and coffee shops.

Many shops offer latte art competitions between baristas and other local shops, which is a great way to connect baristas from different shops, as well as drawing in a crowd for a fun event," said Cammarata.

WHERE TO FIND IT In Erie, Brew Ha Ha in Millcreek and Boston Bean in North East offer the the creations.Not only is it a pleasure to drink, but it's a pleasure to admire.

Coffee drinkers can take the time to look at the art in the cup before they drink it.

Although you might have to wait a little longer for your coffee, latte art is like an unexpected gift to brighten your day. Simply brewtiful. HT Brew Ha Ha 2612 W. Eighth St. Erie, PA 16505 814-833-2739 Brewhahacolony.com Boston Bean Cafe 12 S. Lake Street North East, PA 16428 814-725-0750 Christine Eddy is the development director at the Erie Art Museum.

Watch a latte heart being made.

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6 • HER TIMES

CAREERS

Life

Lessons It’s the season when students prepare to return to the classroom. Here’s the story of three women who took what life handed them, learned, then changed course.

By Lydia Laythe Contributing writer

T

his time of year is always fresh and frenzied. The back-to-school aisles in stores seem to signal a time of transition. Whether it’s starting fourth grade or starting a new career, this time of year can be full of changes for all ages.

See a gallery of photos related to this story: GoErie.com/photos

AMY BUECHEL: From teacher to student

N

urse Amy Buechel, 49, knows how to handle the back-to-school shopping frenzies. With two kids and about 17 years of experience teaching, she’s seen her fair share of school supplies and heavy textbooks. Over the last two years, Beuchel had to transition from teacher to student. Buechel taught biology at Gannon University for 11 years until a few years ago when her husband, Dan, was admitted to the hospital for cardiac issues.

While her husband was napping in his hospital bed, surrounded by sterile medical supplies and medications with strange names, it struck her: She wanted to go back to school to become a nurse.

“It just hit me,” Buechel recalled.

“I told myself, ‘I want to go back to school. I can do that.’” When her husband awoke from his nap she told him. He was confused at first. How could such a major life decision be made during the span of just one nap? But his confusion quickly turned into whole-hearted support.At age 46, Buechel enrolled in a two-year nursing program at Mercyhurst University. With two children in elementary school, it was important to her to be a good role model for her children, showing them what good study habits and a commitment to learning looked like. But with that commitment to her education came new challenges. “It was hard (going back) to being a student … and having to

Amy Buechel left her teaching job to go back to school to become a nurse.

She’s shown with daughter Annie, 12; son Anthony, 15; and husband Dan, 46. Buechel, 49, graduated in May 2015 from the nursing program at Mercyhurst North East. She currently works as a registered nurse at Saint Vincent Hospital in Erie.

CHRISTOPHER MILLETTE/ ERIE TIMES-NEWS

study for a test instead of writing the test,” Buechel said.

Being a student required a different schedule, which involved more studying and less family time. “It was hard,” Buechel said.

“I kept telling myself it was only temporary, and it’ll be worth it in the end.” And it was worth it.

She graduated from Mercyhurst in 2015 and now works at Saint Vincent Hospital.

“I’m glad I did it,” she said. “It was so worth it. I love my job.

I love where I work. I love my patients. I wouldn’t want to work anywhere else.” Buechel knows she made the right decision in following her heart that day in her husband’s hospital room.

“It’s so important to do what you love,” Buechel said. “I know a lot of people are apprehensive. … Not enough people do (what they love). They stay in a job for comfort. There will be a lot of obstacles. Take a risk. You gotta do what you love.”

HER TIMES • 7

SUE MCCHESNEY: Embracing a second chance

LISA BANNISTER: Teaching takes a new turn

W

L

hile 65-year old Sue McChesney may not be buying new No. 2 pencils or worrying about who will sit with her at the lunch table, she’s making an inspiring change this month.

She’s returning to work.

In 2010, McChesney battled a virus that attacked her heart and left her bedridden intermittently for two years. When the doctors discovered how serious her condition was, they never expected her to recover, let alone return to work. But that’s exactly what she intends to do. “They never dreamed I’d go back to work … (but) I’m ready to go back to Erie City Mission,” McChesney said.

McChesney’s life-threatening experience may have slowed her heart, but it hasn’t weakened its capacity to care for her community.

If anything, her recent experiences have only made her embrace her life with more passion — volunteering for UPMC Hamot and Great Lakes Hospice. This month McChesney is returning to work part-time as the Erie City Mission community liaison. She worked at the Mission in the development office in 2001 until she grew ill in 2010.

Before she worked at the Erie City Mission, McChesney managed local dress shops in Erie.

Her thoughtful attention to detail and her passion for helping people would’ve made her

Sue McChesney, 65, didn’t work for several years because of heart problems, but she says she’s healthy again and soon plans to return to her part-time job at the Erie City Mission.

CHRISTOPHER MILLETTE/ ERIE TIMES-NEWS

a priceless asset to the stores and the customers she served.

But when the Erie City Mission offered her a job in the early 2000s, McChesney realized her capacity for helping people could be so much bigger than the confines of the dress shop walls. “I love the City Mission, I love my job and I love my community,” McChesney said. “I’m most excited to see the people and be with the people.”

ike a wide-eyed freshman preparing for high school, Lisa Bannister, 37, is transitioning into teaching in a totally new landscape: prison. She had been a teacher at Erie Business Center, Erie Institute of Technology and other schools, but cutbacks eliminated her job. “That was a big kick in the ego, and you grieve … but then you pick yourself back up —and you think outside the box,” Bannister said. “(You) have to be patient and go outside of your comfort zone. You have to stay positive.”

While she was looking for new jobs,Bannister started Project Prom in 2013 to help high school girls get free prom dresses with donated dresses. She added thather passion for teaching is what motivated her to keep looking for jobs, and to become more creative in her search.

She found an open position at Lake Erie Correctional Institution in Conneaut, Ohio. “I applied for it without thinking what I was getting myself into,” she said. “I never imagined working in a prison, (but I went) with it.” Bannister said being in an all-male prison can be intimidating at times, and it requires her to be more aware and guarded than other staff members. Bannister said she gets looks of horror and disbelief when she tells people about where she works. “People say, ‘Are you nuts?’” she said. “Or ‘Wow, I can’t believe that. Why?’” Bannister said the most challenging aspect of teaching in the prison is the vast array of students

Lisa Bannister, 37, of Greene Township, is a computers and technology teacher at the Lake Erie Correctional Institution who landed her job following the loss of an adjunct position at Mercyhurst University.

ANDY COLWELL/ERIE TIMES-NEWS

she works with. “It’s different than teaching in a school,” she said. “Some of these inmates haven’t completed elementary school. There are all different sorts of grade levels in one class.”

And Bannister said respect is the first thing she demonstrates to her students at the correctional facility.

“Even though they’re criminals, you have to give them respect,” Bannister said. “When I walk across the compound, or I walk through the dorms, they have so much respect for me. If you don’t give them respect, you lose everything with them —they might have believed in you.”

Despite the challenges, Bannister said it’s the most rewarding teaching experience she’s ever had. “I’m able to teach them something that they can take out into the real world when they’re done,” Bannister said.

“I’m able to change their lives.” HT Lydia Laythe, a recent social work graduate of the University of Portland, is returning to school this fall to earn a master’s degree in social work at Edinboro University of Pennsylvania.

8 • HER TIMES

BEAUTY

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Skin care trend comes to Erie

By Christine Eddy Contributing writer

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o matter how old you are, you’ve probably heard of Proactiv — an acne treatment touted by celebrities on infomercials since 2002. Its creators are dermatologists Katie Rodan and Kathy Fields, both trained at Stanford University.

Rodan and Fields later launched a cosmetic brand in department stores, but they made the move to independent consultants in 2008, and Erie has a few of them.

Now you are probably thinking, “Great.

Another expensive skincare line. Does it work?

Can you make money by selling it? How does it rate with other skin-care

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lines?”

Inquiring minds want to know. Her Times contacted Rodan + Fields fans in Erie.

R + F consultants in northwestern Pennsylvania include Bobbi Strong, Courtney Dylewski and Kelly Holland, all of Erie, and Kathryn Gross, of Warren.

Gross has been an R + F consultant since 2008. Although her background is in psychiatric care, she became a mom and was traveling around the country to support her husband’s career when she became a consultant. She praised the guarantee. “If it doesn’t work, you’ll receive a refund. It removes lines on the face and gives women a new zest for life,” she said.

Strong, a Realtor with Howard Hanna

Rodan + Fields has expanded into Erie with private consultants.

CONTRIBUTED PHOTO

Real Estate Services, became a consultant in 2015. She said Rodan + Fields doesn’t require an inventory or private parties like some cosmetic lines. “All you do is talk to people and share your story and your 'why,'” she said.

Strong said she has seen a dramatic change in her skin. “I no longer need to wear foundation — just mineral powder, which has anti-aging as well as sunscreen in it,” she said. One of Strong’s customers, Nancy Dolan, of Millcreek Township, said she notices fewer wrinkles and spends about $50 a month on R + F skin-care products.

A 30-day supply of Oil of Olay costs about $200.

The same supply of R + F costs $111, and a 60-day supply is $222.

What is it?

A Forbes article says the company had 150,000 distributors with more than $626 million in sales in 2015.For more information on Rodan + Fields, visit its website, www. rodanandfields.com. HT Christine Eddy is the director of development at the Erie Art Museum.

HER TIMES â&#x20AC;¢ 9

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10 • HER TIMES

FA M I LY

Parenting a teen with

Story and photos by Heather Cass

ADHD

Contributing writer

I

t just didn’t add up. I knew my daughter Lauren, then 11, was very smart, but her grades — some of them anyway — didn’t show it. She had three Ds on her report card, the result of missing homework, incomplete assignments, and, I thought at the time, her laziness.

“You should have her tested, Heather, I think she’s gifted,” said my friend Elaine LaFuria, who teaches exceptional kids at Harbor Creek High School. I snorted and said, “Let me show you her report card, Elaine.”

“Grades aren’t the only measure of intelligence,” LaFuria said. “Kids like her fall through the cracks and get labeled bad students. Get her tested and then you’ll know what’s going on.” I requested that her school do an intelligence evaluation. This is a formal process in public schools that involves the school psychologist doing interviews with teachers and the child, as well as intelligence testing.

Ninety days later, the school principal, psychologist, gifted teacher, and my husband and I sat clustered in a small office where I learned that, indeed, Lauren had a high IQ. I also learned that she exhibited many of the classic signs of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or ADHD. It felt like a gut punch. I felt everything from relief and vindication to guilt and anxiety.

I took her to a licensed psychologist in Erie who did his own evaluation and confirmed she had many of the symptoms of ADHD, except the last D. He didn’t think it was a disorder.

After living with her and the diagnosis

Lauren Cass, 11, participates in an underwater robot class, competes in the Quad bike race and swims in her family pool.

and reading volumes of information over the past year, I agree. I don’t think ADHD is a disorder. I think it’s a difference. It’s one that doesn’t fit well into our school systems where all children are expected to learn the same way, but there are things that you can do to help both you and your child to be successful.

Here’s what I’ve learned in the past year.

Girls exhibit ADHD differently

than boys. The “hyperactivity” part in girls with ADHD is often exhibited not through physical activity, but talking. Girls with ADHD are the chatty Cathys, the daydreamers and the scatterbrains.

Kids can be good at hiding the symptoms of ADHD. Shame and fear drives kids with ADHD to hide symptoms and lie to avoid punishment. If they have a high IQ, they can often hide it for years until the

wheels fall off, usually when greater autonomy is expected in junior high or high school.

ADHD = late and disorganized.

One of the biggest challenges facing kids with ADHD are “executive functions,” which include things like planning, organization, remembering things and prioritizing tasks. This is the greatest source of frustration for me as a parent and I’m sure for Lauren’s teachers, too. Case in point: Her bus has come at 6:42 a.m. for the last six years and every morning the bus’s arrival seems to come as a surprise to Lauren, who runs out the door disheveled without a coat, hands full of shoes, books, homework and a hairbrush. It doesn’t matter how early I get her up.

She doesn’t think like I do. Her mind makes connections differently than mine. For instance, if I need to b remember to take something to work, I’ll write myself a note and put it by my purse. If Lauren needs to remember something, she’ll toss a pillow in front of her door or a pair of dirty socks on the TV stand and then she’ll remember she needs to do X, Y or Z. It doesn’t make sense to me, but it’s perfectly logical in her mind. Fine b (but I draw the line at dirty socks on furniture).

Make teachers your partners.

Unless you have a formal special education plan (we opted not to do that), your child’s teacher(s) may or may not be aware of her intelligence evaluation. I told Lauren’s teachers that she has both a high IQ and ADHD so they know that she is capable of completing assignments but may require some additional redirection or reminders.

Offer guidance, but not

HER TIMES • 11

micromanaging. Lauren needs If she finds the class boring or it more help prioritizing and organizing requires a lot of paperwork, it’s her schoolwork than most kids her all low Cs and Ds. I’ve learned to age. I don’t go through her backpack celebrate the As and insist she get a every day like I did when she was in passing grade in the other classes. If elementary school, but I do ask if you saw her reading grades, you’d there’s anything she needs to give never believe she’s a voracious reader or show me. I also ask her teachers who devoured “2,000 Leagues Under to alert me if she’s missing a bunch the Sea” in one weekend. She just of assignments or has a big project isn’t going to do well in that kind of she should be working on at home. class.

I try not to get involved until I need They tend to overreact, and to because I want her to develop her it’s not their fault. This is the most own self-management skills. important thing I learned last year.

Socially, they don’t always fit Those with ADHD are flooded with in. Some peers (and adults) find kids stimuli, including emotions. It’s not with ADHD annoying. In Lauren’s me. It’s not her. She’s not a spoiled case, she’s fortunate to have some brat. When she feels something, she great teachers and a tight circle of feels it so completely and is so overgood friends who accept and apprewhelmed with that emotion that she ciate her for who she is. cannot see beyond it. Five minutes She has a “Ferrari brain with later, logic and reasoning return and bicycle brakes.” ADHD specialshe apologizes. Remember, Ferrari ist Dr. Edward Hallowell perfectly brain with bicycle brakes. explains ADHD in a YouTube video in They can hyper focus. which he said he congratulates kids When Lauren is into who have been recently diagnosed something, like and tells them “The good news is that science, she’s you have an amazing machine in your completely head. It’s a Ferrari brain. But you’ve into it. She got a problem. You’ve got bicycle enjoys brakes. You can’t stop when you need to.” It takes a while for them to develop their brakes and steering system.

Extremes are where they live. Lauren’s report card is a mix of high and low.

If she’s interested in a subject and/ or likes the teacher, it’s all As. Lauren Cass enjoys camping, swimming and kayaking on the Allegheny River.

hands-on, experiential learning (most ADHD kids do). Encourage those interests. She was a superstar on her school’s Science Olympiad team, and organized and led a team of classmates in a local environmental science competition.

Shut the door. I hate clutter, and I prefer my home and office to be neat and organized. Lauren finds comfort in chaos. Her bedroom makes me twitch, but I’ve learned to shut the door and let her have that space.

They hear everything. Those with ADHD have trouble filtering out or

ignoring conversations around them. This is why they are easily distracted by talking classmates or someone clicking a pen.

Moms, this

12 • HER TIMES

also means they can hear you talk about them from two rooms away. Trust me on this.

Timers help. ADHD kids cannot keep track of time and often don’t transition well. This spring, I instituted the use of a ticking kitchen timer that she carries with her in the morning to keep her on track. It worked well because it’s both a visual and audio reminder.

Confiscate all electronics at night. Kids with ADHD typically have trouble shutting off their brains to sleep. I learned it was imperative to collect her iPod, tablet and cellphone because she’s bad at self-regulating and will stay up all night building new Minecraft worlds or binging on Netflix. Then, she’s a nightmare at 6 a.m.

ADHD is not something to be ashamed of. The more research I do on ADHD, the more I think people who have it actually have an advantage over traditional straight-A students.

ADHD kids are the creative ones. They’re the game-changers. They are the ones who will accomplish incredible things, if they don’t acquire the real disabilities of shame and low self-esteem.

They are in good company. The list of accomplished people with ADHD is long and includes people like Michael Phelps, Walt Disney, Agatha Christie, Mozart, Whoopi Goldberg, John Lennon, Thomas Edison and

JFK. Visit http://psychcentral.com/lib/ famous-people-with-adhd/ for an impressive list.

Parents can set the tone. How I frame this “disorder” can set my daughter up to succeed or fail, to have confidence in herself or not.

We choose to look at the positives of ADHD (and there are many) and find ways to help her strengthen the brakes she needs to control that Ferrari brain.

Answer the medication question for your situation.Every parent and child needs to make this decision for themselves. I was adamantly opposed to it at first. Then, I talked to some other parents who were candid with me about their experiences, and I changed my mind. Here’s why: I thought what if I’m denying my child access to something that can help her be successful because of my personal or moral convictions? Would I deny her insulin if she were diabetic?If you do decide to try medication, you’ll need an official diagnosis before your doctor can prescribe anything. It’s common for most to try several different medications and dosages before finding one that works well for them. ADHD medication can be quite costly, even with insurance. HT Heather Cass is the publications coordinator at Penn State Behrend.

Heather Cass, right, and her daughter, Lauren, 13, prepare for a new year at school. CONTRIBUTED PHOTO

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14 • HER TIMES

CAREER

Give yourself the freedom to shift priorities

By Debbie Peterson Contributing writer

G

ive yourself permission to shift priorities.

You’ve got a huge project going on at work. It’s literally “all hands on deck.” You know what you need to get done and you’ve got a plan for making that happen. It’s going to be a lot, but you know you can get it done. As if that weren’t enough, you’re juggling competing priorities at home as well. A family event coming up, major renovations on your home or perhaps a much needed vacation (which at the moment is stressing you out because of what you need to get done before you go).

Then it happens. Your kid gets sick, the dog runs away, the refrigerator dies or perhaps a friend has a seismic event.

Your first thought is likely “I don’t have

time for this,” and then the guilt rolls in, followed quickly by a new round of grade A stress. What do you do now? All your carefully crafted plans just went up in smoke.

You give yourself permission. You didn’t see this coming, and it’s beyond your control.

Know that this is not your fault.

Nor is it anyone else’s.

Things happen all of the time to all kinds of people. Don’t get caught up trying to punish

yourself or someone else for something that clearly wasn’t part of the plan.

The sooner you get to the space of, “It is what it is,” the better you’ll be. Acknowledge that some things will need to shift. Take a peek to make sure that everything you have on your list needs to be taken care of by you. Odds are they don't. Also, are you sure that everything is the priority you think it is?

Take an honest assessment and if you’re feeling emotional about it, ask someone you

trust to give it a second pair of eyes.

Otherwise, the situation, the stress, the guilt all win, and you’re smarter than that. Get it done. Now that you’ve got a clearer perspective on how you’re going to handle it, do what needs to be done without beating yourself up for what didn’t happen. Asking for help is part of that plan. Know that you may not have control over the situation that threw a wrench into your plans, but you do have control over how you react to it. Choose for yourself. Choose for less stress. Choose to give yourself permission to handle it to the best of your ability. That’s all anyone can do, even if you think you’ve got a red cape.

Be good to yourself. HT Debbie Peterson is president of Getting to Clarity LLC and a midlife mindset expert helping women rediscover their potential.

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FA M I LY

OK moms: S

ummer 2016 has been "the summer of water" for my family.

With the beautiful Erie weather we have had (and are still having), we certainly have spent plenty of days at the beach and pool, but I also enrolled my 8-month-old daughter, Nellie, in summer swim lessons at FitnessU, 2312 W 15th St., in Erie.

I was hesitant at first. When I began telling people I was potentially going to sign her up, some supported my decision to enroll her, while others encouraged me to wait, saying she was too young.

Saint Vincent pediatrician, Ravi Chekka, M.D., said it's ultimately at the

â&#x20AC;&#x153;

I always tell parents, the sooner you can get them used to water, the better."

- Angelia Brown

parent's discretion when to introduce babies to water.

"I would say around 5 months is an appropriate age, but it's a personal preference," Chekka said. "Babies at this age normally have safe bacteria levels. Pool water is always somewhatirritating to the skin, and the skin is still developing in infants under 6 months."

It was ultimately the advice of the FitnessU pool director, Angelia Brown, who made me try.

"I always tell parents, the sooner you can get them used to water, the better," she said. "Babies have a natural buoyancy. The thing I always say is that babies live in water for nine months before they're born, so the longer you wait, the more awkward they become in the water."

Boy, am I glad I tried.

Nellie absolutely loves the water. As soon as we get in, she starts kicking and cooing, screeching and laughing.

She learned how to splash her hand in the water shortly after we started lessons and she has a blast throughout the class.

Babies also know naturally how to

hold their breath, Brown said.

"You'll see right around 9 or 10 months that if kids haven't been in the water, they look extremely surprised when they go under," she said. "You know from experience with Nellie that that's not the case."

She's right. Nellie doesn't mind being dunked. I blow on her face before we dip her, but she always comes back up looking like nothing really happened.

She actually dips her face in the water, too. Josh's mom, who accompanies me to the lessons, gets a kick out of that.

We sing songs (our favorite is "Wheels on the Bus") and practice jumping off the pool ledge, but Brown says the key to the classes revolves around safety.

"We live super close to a lake," she

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By Sarah Stemen

Is taking the baby swimming good or bad?

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said. "We try to teach communication about the water from early on so that kids and parents have a phrase or a word that means it's OK to go in the water, so when they hit the age that they just want to book it into the water, they're able to be safe."

Babies instinctively kick when they hit the water, Chekka said.

"We have a few inherent reflexes, like kicking and trying to flip," he said. "Honing in those skills and practicing them for a potential unsupervised setting is important."

Brown said classes for children 3 and older teach them to push off the bottom and how to behave in potentially life-threatening situations.

But here are risks in putting children in water.

Swimmer's ear — when water gets trapped in the outer part of the ear— is common in babies who take swim lessons.

"When that water sits, different things and bacteria can grow, irritations happen," Chekka said. "And it's painful. But it's also very common. I see it quite a lot in the summer with children."

To avoid swimmer's ear, Chekka recommends parents dry their baby's ears as much as possible after lessons. Parents often use occlusion devices, like ear plugs, to prevent swimmer's ear, too.

Another issue parents need to watch for is skin irritation, he said.

"Pool water is safe for most babies," he said. "But if your baby is developing a rash the first time you go in, that's probably not OK with your baby."

The only way to really know whether your baby will have a reaction is to try the water, he said.

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Nellie Grabski tries swim lessons at FitnessU. SARAH

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Nellie Grabski tries swim lessons at FitnessU. SARAH STEMEN/ERIE TIMES-NEWS

Nellie Grabski tries swim lessons at FitnessU. SARAH STEMEN/ERIE TIMES-NEWS

Nellie Grabski tries swim lessons at FitnessU. SARAH STEMEN/ERIE TIMES-NEWS

"All skin sensitivities differ," he said.

"Every baby can be sensitized to different things, so it's kind of hard to tell in general if your baby will have a reaction to pool water until you try it out."

Swim class also serves as social hour for Nellie. The kids in her class range from 5 months to 2 years old, so she likes watching the older kids.

The swim schedule changes seasonto-season, but FitnessU offers weekly swim lessons for kids from 5 months up to adult. The summer session lasts

until Aug. 27. Swimming lessons are also offered at the Downtown YMCA, Eastside Family YMCA, Glenwood Park YMCA, Pennbriar Athletic Club, through Millcreek Township and The Barber National Institute. HT

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Sarah Stemen is the Erie Times-News and GoErie.com online reporter and a guest mommy blogger on the Her Times blog. She can be reached at 870-1776 or by email. Follow her on twitter at twitter.com/ETNstemen.

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