…and control stress
It’s up to you
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This book is to help you learn. It should not be used to replace any of your doctor’s advice or treatment.
What is stress all about?
This book will help you manage your feelings and actions so that stress works for you, not against you. As you will see, some stress is good.
Reactions, like tension or a pounding headache, are your ways of responding to what is going on in your day.
Stress is about how you react to the events that cause changes in your life. It’s about your feelings and actions. You might say, “I’m having a stressful day.” But your day is not stressful. It’s your reactions to your day that are causing you stress.
To get started, find out where you are with stress. Take the quiz on the next page.
Read each of these ten statements, and check the column that best describes your feelings.
NEVER RARELY SOMETIMES OFTEN
7. I’m angry or impatient, or I pick fights.
This shows the way I feel
1. I have trouble sleeping all night.
5. I’m always tired or sick, or I have trouble catching my breath.
ColumnValue
9. I’m frustrated or confused.
Your Score (add all column value numbers) 0 x 1 x 2 x 3
Read on to find out what this stress score means in your life.
8. I’m jumpy or nervous.
2. I have trouble concentrating.
3. I’m depressed or have lost my sense of humor.
Are You Stressed?
Number of checks value
2
10. I have no interest in sex.
6. I eat too much or too little, or I drink too much.
4. I have headaches or muscle aches.
x
3
A good thing?
l getting married
Most people think of stress as a bad thing, but this isn’t always true. Stress can help you focus. Some people do their best work under stress.
l moving to a new home
l starting a new job
Stress comes and goes. Your stress level rises to help you meet a challenge, then it goes back down. This type of stress is good. It helps you rise to the occasion, and then you relax.
l playing in a big game
You may have enjoyed many stressful events in your life, such as:
l competing in a contest or race
Sometimes stress gets stuck in high gear. Your stress level doesn’t go back down, and you can’t find a way to relax. When you feel more stress than you can handle (or it lasts too long), stress begins to mess up your health, work and family life.
l Know when you’re strung out.
4
too much of a good thing
The rest of this book will show you how to get started.
Like a runaway car, unmanaged stress races out of control until it is stopped—often with a bang. The bang can be a heart attack, accident or violent death. Start here to take control of your stress:
l Learn to do something that makes stress good (rather than bad) for you.
l Name the events or actions that have caused you stress.
Physical signs
Mental signs
Behavior signs
Be aware
soreheadachesmuscles in the neck, back or unusuallyshortnesslossheartweakenedsleepmenstrualpimples,highstomachshouldersinknotsorpain,diarrheabloodpressurecoldsores,otherskinproblemsproblemsproblemsimmunesystem(soyoucatchmorecoldsandflus)pounding,feeling“shaky”ofenergy,alwaystiredofbreathsweatyorcoldhands
nervous, nofrustratednegativecan’tconfusedthingsimpulsive,lowcan’twithoutdepressedtoimpatient,jumpyquickanger(likecryingcauseorsleep)self-imagenotthinkingthroughconcentrateattitudesenseofhumor
5
To know when you’re “stressed out,” tune in to what you’re doing or feeling—listen to your mind and body. What are they telling you? Are you showing any of these common signs of stress?
eating too much or too offriendsusingsmoking,littledrinking,drugsspeechproblemsrecklessdrivinglackofinterestinfamily,oractivitiessexualproblemsclenchingorgrindingteethwantingtobealonealot
l feeling guilty
l too concerned with:
l angry
– success
l bored
– control
The causes
l lonely
Stress is a personal thing. What makes you strung out may not bother the next guy. There are times when an event or situation may be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. When that happens, tune in to your feelings and actions. Is it because you were already dealing with two or three other things? Were you feeling guilty and this made you feel even more guilty? You’ll find you can begin to control your stress by looking at the causes.
If you say yes to any of these, you may have a short fuse. You may react differently than you normally would. When you tune in to your emotions, you’re taking the first step toward controlling your stress.
l insecure
Sometimes an event won’t push your stress button, but other times it will. When this happens, you may need to look at what other things are going on in your life. Are you:
– order and neatness
Events or situations that push your buttons are called stressors. You want to know what your stressors are so you can understand why you’re stressed out.
6
chronic illness Unhealthy habits being toopoor(lacksedentarydisorganizedlifestyleofexercise)diet(eatingmuchunhealthy fat, sugar or drinking too much caffeine) excessivesmoking use of alcohol trying to do too much Day-to-day
heavy traffic lost keys or wallet car trouble pet parentingchildrenupsetrunningdeadlinestraininglateroutineorproblems Others flashingaroundnoisepollutionorconfusionyoulightsand signs
7 Are any of these “stressors” knocking on your door? Be aware that stress of one kind or another is always with us. You can’t get rid of all stress. The key is to learn to deal with it so it doesn’t damage you.
buying
job death
Life changes job or lost of a loved one and/or moving a new home problems
becomingdivorcemarriage a parent new
to
When you know what causes your stress, you have choices to make. What you think, how you make time for rest or play, exercise, the foods you eat— all play a roll in how well you manage stress. Make your choices healthy ones.
l
l alcohol
ONE CHOICE is a quick fix like:
Quick fixes also cost money. When stress pops up again, you have to grab another quick fix (and spend more money) because you are too strung out to do much else. It becomes a yo-yo. Feel bad, fix it; feel worse, fix it. Blow out!
8
l drugs
l unhealthy foods
Quickcaffeinefixes
l nicotine
A step in the right direction
do nothing to strengthen the mind or body and, over time, leave you tired and run down. It’s easier to numb your thoughts and go on, rather than deal with your stress. For an hour or so, a quick fix may make you feel better. Then the fix wears off and you most likely feel worse.
l taking a walk
A BETTER CHOICE is a longer-term fix like:
l eating a healthy snack like fruit, low-fat cheese and crackers
Over time, these longer-term fixes add strength to your mind and body. They give you time to rest and refuel for the next battle (stress). Longer-term fixes are cheap, and over time help you react to people or events with less stress.
l listening to your favorite music
l talking with a good friend
9
Get smart about your choices, and go for the long-term.
l sitting in a hot tub
There will always be changes in life. Instead of seeing each change as a problem, try to look at it as a challenge or adventure. Be willing to tackle challenges and be open to changes. This will take some practice, but reward yourself when you can.
10
If you’re dealing with the loss of a loved one, know that this is one of the hardest stressors with which to deal. Try to get through this event by thinking about the happy times you shared. Celebrate life.
Your attitude and the words you use to explain and describe things can add to your stress. Misery may love company, but optimism is catching. If you are mostly negative this will add more stress to you.
When you find yourself not being positive, stop and take a deep breath. Take charge of your thoughts. Look at the big picture. This “crisis” may be only a minor “blip” in the overall scheme of things. Put it in perspective.
be positive
Even small amounts of exercise can help your muscles relax. So when stress causes your muscles to tense up, try stretching, walking, dancing, yard work or housework for fast relief.
Stress can cause your muscles to tighten up. Physical activity is a great stress reliever. When you exercise, a natural substance in your body (endorphins) is produced that helps you relax and feel good. Helping your muscles relax is part of managing your stress.
Your body and mind work together. Exercise helps you be more physically fit. In turn, this helps you feel better about yourself and more confident that you can handle stress.
You don’t always have to work hard when you exercise. Any physical activity will help, but aerobic exercise is the best. You can walk, jog, ride a bike or swim. This kind of exercise makes you work hard so that your body uses more oxygen and your heart rate increases. It helps strengthen your heart and lungs.
11
exercise
Remember to keep a balance between food and exercise.
eat a healthy diet
12
Other people simply forget to eat. Then (when they do eat) they are so hungry, they eat too much. A good meal plan, along with daily exercise can help your body feel its best. Use “Choose My Plate” (choosemyplate.gov) to help you make your own meal plan. It’s a quick way to make healthy food choices with the right portion sizes.
Some people who are strung out from stress feel they don’t have time to fix meals. So they eat out a lot or have prepared meals. What you may not know is that a steady diet of fast food and packaged meals is not healthy— and can make you feel even worse. Most fast foods are full of unhealthy fat, sodium, added sugars and excess calories.
Note
13
fresh vegetables & fruits (without high-fat sauces)
dried beans and rice whole grain or enriched white breads, plain bagels, pita breads skim or nonfat dairy foods (1%/low-fat milk or nonfat/skim milk, nonfat cheeses, nonfat yogurts, nonfat sour cream), egg substitutes
Eat SOMETIMESthese :
lean meats (trimmed of all fat), fish, skinned chicken or turkey (white meat) soft vegetablemargarines,oilsor sprays (Use very little. All oils have 14 g fat per peanutlow-fattablespoon.)cheeses,low-fatyogurts,low-fatsourcreambutter(limit2teaspoonsperday),olives,seedsandnuts(limit1tablespoonperday)
When you make out your grocery list, get ideas from the lists below.
nonfat crackers or cookies, air popped popcorn, carrot sticks dried or fresh herbs nonfat dressings or nonfat mayonnaise
pasta dishes with low-fat (usuallysaucestomato based)
red meats, sausage, bacon, fat back, goose, duck, dark meat turkey or chicken, organ meats
Eat these OFTEN :
aanythingcakescroissants,chips,preparedregularregularcreamers,saladdressings,mayonnaise,saucesfattydipsdonuts,bakeryorcookies,Danish“hydrogenated”–man-made,saturatedfat
butter, stick margarine, egg yolks, whole milk, 2%/reduced-fat milk, cream, half ’n half, eggnog and most cheeses unless they list 3g fat or less per serving
Eat these RARELY :
prepared foods, fast or fried foods coffee
l Make time for rest. Go to bed early, and relax for at least a half hour before you turn in. Read a book or magazine to help you relax. Avoid a heavy meal, caffeine and exercise just before going to bed. Try to find time for “power naps” (no more than 30 minutes) and quiet time during your days. If you have trouble sleeping, see your doctor.
14 make time for play and rest
Does the thought of trying to make time for play and rest stress you out even more? Then it’s even more important that you do something about it. You need to:
l Make time for fun. Every week do something you enjoy. Having a few hours of fun to look forward to each week can make a big difference in the way you feel and in your attitude toward what you’re doing.
When you’re under a lot of stress, you’re probably not very efficient. But when you stop to rest and/or play, things seem to get done quicker and with less of a struggle. What was a mountain becomes a molehill.
l Don’t take on more than you can do. When you have too much to do, ask others for help. Or learn to say “no.”
For some people, mess creates stress and stress creates mess. So you may feel better if you put more order in your life. While you’re under a lot of stress, you may want to use lists and planners. If being disorganized is causing you stress:
l Combine tasks and errands to make your day easier.
l Keep focused. Don’t let yourself be distracted. If someone interrupts you with something that is not important, politely tell him or her that it will have to wait.
15
l Make a “To Do” list each day. Separate items into “A,” “B” or “C.” Do A (most important) first. Accept that some Bs and Cs can wait until another day.
get organized
l Break larger tasks down into smaller steps.
Learn to relax
2. Get comfortable. Sit or lie so your muscles can relax.
l deep breathing
l muscle tightening/relaxing
16
When your stress gets stuck in high gear, learning to relax will help get you unstuck. There are ways to relax and take a break from the stress in your life. Try this:
1. Find a quiet place where you will not be bothered.
Then do some relaxation exercises. Try one or all of these to help you learn to relax and manage your stress:
l visualizing or mental imagery
deep breathing
2. Let your hands lie comfortably by your side.
4. Purse your lips (like you’re going to whistle) to control your speed. Then breathe out slowly through your mouth.
Deep breathing brings relief even though you may not be comfortable and in a quiet place. Try it when you’re stuck in heavy traffic or waiting in a long line.
3. Take a long, deep breath through your nose, and hold it for a moment.
Repeat this 10 times or until you’re relaxed. Take 5 to 10 seconds for each breath in and out.
Shortness of breath can be a sign that you are under stress. Use this technique to slow down your breathing and help you relax all over.
This gets more oxygen into your lungs and helps your muscles relax.
17
1. Sit up straight, stand or lie flat on your back.
3. Breathe deeply. Let your body relax as your mind takes you to this peaceful place.
1. Create a quiet, peaceful scene in your mind. Pretend you’re at the ocean, in the mountains or any place that’s special for you. Use pictures or music if it helps. Block out all other thoughts except for this one calm image.
Don’t do this exercise when your attention is needed elsewhere— like while you’re driving.
If you concentrate and really relax, your worries and problems will melt away. Your muscles will relax, and you’ll feel you can handle the things that were causing you to be stressed out.
18
2. Focus on your quiet scene for 5 to 10 minutes. Don’t let yourself get distracted.
visualizing or mental imagery
2. Then relax them. Notice the feelings when your fists are clenched and as the tension leaves your hands.
Now repeat this tense-and-relax action for each of these muscle groups until you get that same relaxed feeling:
l head, neck and jaw
l arms, hands and feet
If you get distracted, go back a few steps and try again. You may need to try this exercise a few times before you can finish.
1. Clench (tense) your fists as hard as you can, and hold them clenched for 5 to 10 seconds.
l shoulders and back
l buttocks and legs
l feet and toes
l stomach muscles
19
3. Repeat this 5 times. Concentrate on feeling the tension leaving your hands.
muscle tightening and relaxing
l spouse or family member
20
Talk to people, and get those negative feelings out in the open. Once you do, these feelings may not seem as heavy. Sometimes just telling someone how you feel is enough to make you feel better. You may feel an instant sense of relief.
l coach
You may also want to talk to a therapist with special training to help people with stress. Ask your doctor to refer you to one.
l counselor or religious guide
l close friend or co-worker
l doctor
Share your stress
Someone else may help you view your stress in a way that can help you deal with it better. Talk to someone you trust such as a:
Now it’s time to see how you scored on the quiz on page 2, and where you are with stress.
11 - 15 Good job! You’re handling your stress OK.
If your score is between:
21
0 - 10 Congratulations! You’re handling your stress well.
26 - 30 Get help! Your stress is out of control.
16 - 20 Be careful! Your stress level is showing.
Remember, stress is how you react to the events you face. Use your stress to get focused. Make stress work for you, not against you. This is the healthiest way to live with stress.
It’s your call
21 - 25 Beware! Your stress is getting out of hand.
Your ever-changing, fast-paced life doesn’t have to stress you out. You can learn how to manage your stress and not let it damage you.
Now think about what you can do to help yourself manage your stress. Are some of your stressors really so important that you have yourself all worked up over them? Are some of your stressors things you can’t do anything about? Are you always tired? Do you find yourself being short-tempered with loved ones or co-workers? Be aware of what you are feeling and why. Think about what you’ll do to help yourself relax. Make your plan to manage your stress.
Take a look at your stress
Start now. Think about signs of stress you’ve been showing and what may be causing it.
22
Stressors:Signs:
Make your plan now. You can control your stress!
3. When I need to talk about my stress:
I will create a support group. I will talk and share my feelings with my wife more. I need her support in this new job. She can boost my confidence. Together we can work out the best plan so that my personal life doesn’t suffer as I adapt to all these changes.
23
Signed John Doe Witness Jane Doe
Dated September 30
SAMPLE PLAN
1. I will make healthy choices:
I’m going to take a long, hot shower after dinner each night. I will stay in the shower at least 5 minutes and let the hot water soothe my muscles.
2. I will practice these relaxation exercises:
I know I can handle this new job. I’m excited about doing it. The company has a bowling league I’ve always wanted to join. I will. I’m going to take a lunch hour away from my desk every day. If I don’t need a whole hour to eat, I’ll work a crossword puzzle or take a walk around the building. I will not think about work when I’m at lunch.
Because I am in control, I will learn to recognize the situations or events that happen each day that might cause me to be stressed. I will be aware of my reactions, and I will take the following steps toward managing my stress:
1. I will make healthy choices:
24
This page may be duplicated or cut out to post.
2. I will practice these relaxation exercises:
3. When I need to talk about my stress: Signed Witness
Dated
STRESS MANAGEMENT PLAN
NotesPritchett
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