ENCOURAGING WORDS

from Paradise News August - September 2023

Your Tierra Verde Real Estate Experts

By Dr. Dennis Merritt Jones

Grief: A Blessing or a Curse?

When was the last time you experienced grief? Some people see it as a deep and meaningful rite of passage, a blessing of sorts – and others see it as a painful curse they wish would never visit them. Which is your perspective? If we want to experience the profound meaning of life in a human skin, accepting our grief is not an option. The only choice we have is how we process grief.

A very close friend’s mother passed last night; she was 100 years of age. It has reawakened within my heart and mind the pain and sadness associated with losing both of my parents about seven years ago, each just shy of their 95th birthday–and my beloved dog of thirteen years, MacDoodle, just six weeks ago. While all three beloved people – and my dog – lived extremely full and productive lives, their passing has, nonetheless, created an unfillable emptiness in my mind and heart. This void shall be there until the day it becomes someone else’s time to grieve for me.

If we are mindful when someone we love makes their transition we’ll see that in the midst of the loss there lies the pristine emptiness of the sacred void. In time, we’ll realize the best way to memorialize that relationship is to reenter and reverently engage in life, recognizing we have not become less because of that loss; we have become more as we carry the memory of that person or pet in our heart forever. What makes it easier to embrace our pain is when we remember that the invisible emotion of grief (aka, a boundless love that surpasses all human comprehension) forever lives in that space.

Processing the death of a loved one is a process that actually never ends. As Keanu Reeves inferred, grief really never goes away – it simply sublimates, and shape shifts over time.

Whether it’s a sudden and unexpected transition or one we see coming because of prolonged illness or declining health, to contemplate the meaning of life without that person or pet opens the sacred door to the heart and invites us to explore several things. Foremost, we get to fully appreciate the role that person or pet played in our life, be it a parent, a child, a close family member, our best friend, or our beloved pet. In short, their passing invites us to acknowledge and grieve the loss they represent – a loss we can never duplicate or replace.

I have long believed that fear attaches itself to a concern of the loss – or death – of someone or something. Beyond the loss of a loved one, our grieving can include the death of a lifestyle, a job, a home, or even a reputation. The practice of a lifetime is to remember that life itself is but one long sacred continuum that connects everyone and everything. Regardless of where we exist on the timeline of life, in space and time, all that has ever been, is now, or shall ever be, is contained within One eternal life; it tethers us to the invisible presence of something greater than ourselves. A belief in separation may exist in our own minds –but never in the continuity and flow of eternal Life itself.

Always embrace the remembrance that when grief arises from within, see it as blessing – a divine nudge – a whisper from the ethers of the Universe saying, “fear not, for you are not alone; the one you grieve is as close to you this very moment as is your own breath.”

Peace, Dr. Dennis Merritt Jones • Copyright © 2023 - DMJ Presentations LLC • www.DennisMerrittJones.com Dennis Merritt Jones’ vision is “Guiding People to Purpose.” He is an award-winning author of six books, a keynote speaker, and personal mentor/coach who loves living in St. Petersburg. If you would like more information regarding his availably as a speaker, his mentoring programs, and his books, please visit his website at DennisMerrittJones.com

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