January-February 2017
Vol 6 - Issue 4 - `100
What is
good Parenting? Pg 8
Children and Creativity
Boarding Schools in
India
Pg 14
Pg 19
Ideas for Lunch and Snack Boxes Pg 29
Vaccines - What You Should Know Pg 32 Care for Milk Teeth Pg 36 Teenagers and Mental Health Pg 40
Cover Story
Whatis
good Parenting? 8
January - February 2017
Cover Story
The role of a parent – nurture versus nature Does a child come into the world pre-wired with certain characteristics that determine what he is going to be, or can parents and the environment influence his thinking and nature, especially during the formative years? As parents, this is something we ponder about a lot and it is the crux of the classic ‘Nurture versus Nature’ debate. Research in fact shows that while some physical attributes such as hair colour are genetically inherited, drive, attitude and outlook can be shaped possibly by both genes and the environment. The Box on the right gives a partial list of where experts think parents can play a significant role. Children observe their parents all the time; parents are their role models and have a lot of influence in guiding and providing them the support they need to make wise choices. Also, you will agree that parenting is a job that we are not likely to retire from. Starting with developing reading habits in your primary schooler to helping your tween balance academics and co curricular activities to guiding your teen in college choices, it is true that a parent’s journey is never complete.
How times have changed – the impact on parenting Parenting has existed for as long as mankind has - why, then, is it so much under the scanner in the 21st century? Parents find themselves questioning and analysing their every move to check if it is right for the child. “Am I doing enough for my child to realise her potential? How much is too much? Am I stifling creativity?” Counsellors are inundated with queries, newspapers and magazines routinely carry articles about where parents are going horribly wrong (and some rare instances of what they are going right!). What is so dramatically different about parenting today? Firstly, the family unit itself has changed. While the large joint family with aunts
and uncles and cousins residing in the same home had become rare by the 70s, most families interacted frequently with close relatives and often had grandparents staying with, or close to them. The typical nuclear family of India today where children have little or no interaction with the extended family is more recent. Earlier, the father was the bread winner and the mother, the primary care giver. Cousins and grandparents had a role in nurturing the child and exposing him to different things. In today’s nuclear families, parents have to be the friends and guides also. Add to this, the world that today’s parents grew up in has changed completely. A single television channel with a few shows to look forward to has given way to hundreds of channels with 24/7 programming. Most of us probably saw a computer when we were well into our teens and were exposed to the internet a few years after that. Today’s toddlers browse the internet on their parents’ smart phones! The pervasiveness of technology has parents running scared. In the new liberalised India with increasing urban affluence, it is hard for parents to make children understand the difference between wants and needs. The concept of a household budget is alien to them. Whatever we considered as privileges
Areas of parental influence
• Patterns of responsibility • Artistic interests • Development of talent • Values • Patterns of activity and physical exercise • Social involvement • Eating patterns • Dealing with uncertainty • Anxiety • Optimism or pessimism – Dr. Randy Kale Psychologist, author and blogger
during our childhood are considered rights by today’s children. Again, even a few decades ago, it was not uncommon to find the mother also working outside the home, to keep herself engaged or to supplement the family income. However, the working women of those days were usually employed in banks, or as teachers and in other such professions which allowed them to demarcate the boundaries between home and work quite clearly. Today’s working mother has a very different profile. In an era of equal opportunities, women are pursuing their careers more seriously, either to derive stimulation or to be able to afford a better standard of living for their family. With more demanding jobs and blurring home and work boundaries, parents, it appears, have to make a “conscious” effort to spend time with their children and fulfil their needs. Faced with a new and unfamiliar world where the unexpected pops up all the time, parents cannot quite fall back on their own experiences and instead have to “feel their way” through situations they are not quite acquainted with - and this makes them uncertain and diffident at times. All the buzz around parenting is not helping much, either. There is a large body of January - February 2017
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Demystifying Everyday Parenting Education
d A n C h i L dr e n Cr ea t i v i t y Sridhar Ramanathan is the founder of IDEAS-RS where he is also a strategic innovation coach. Sridhar draws on his work experience in coaching adults in creative problem solving, innovation and communication, and his life experience as a parent and grand parent, in authoring articles and blogs for ParentEdge. Here is a compilation of blogs authored by him, on different aspects of creativity.
Creativity and Discipline What comes to your mind when I utter the word “Creativity�?
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January - February 2017
Boarding Schools
Boarding Schools in India
Punita Shah is an educational specialist. After working as a teacher with The Cathedral and John Connon School, Mumbai for more than a decade, she founded Punita Shah Education Services, which provides educational advisory services, specialising in Boarding School selection and admissions abroad. She also organises specialised summer programmes and seasonal camps abroad.
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19
Wellness
Flu Vaccine and Vaccines for Adolescents - Some Facts Dr. Krishna Mahathi is a paediatrician with post graduate diplomas in the management of allergies and developmental neurology.
From the time that the child is a few days old, until the age of one, parents make repeated visits to the paediatrician’s clinic for the mandatory ‘shots’. Early childhood and adolescence are also marked by such visits, though they are fewer in number. While some vaccinations are by and large painless, after the pinprick of the needle, some do cause fever, discomfort and pain for a few days after. This often leads parents to wonder, if it is worthwhile for the child to go through this.
Are vaccines necessary? I remain a proponent of vaccination irrespective of the controversies that keep coming up. I think anybody who has seen a child with a tetanus infection will be. India continues to have killer infectious diseases and though I admit that there is a need for the health ministry to delve into the storage and administration of vaccines with a little more vigilance, I cannot agree with withholding any of the mandatory vaccines. The Indian Academy of Paediatrics makes recommendations only after a review of current published literature on various parameters that include need for the vaccine, its efficacy and safety. I do acknowledge that there are contentious issues involved – we cannot inject a plethora of microorganisms and chemicals into the bodies of our young children without considering the strain on their immune systems. Therefore, while parents need not think twice about the vaccines that are mandatory, optional ones can be considered after viewing the pros and cons. One such vaccine is the flu vaccine.
“Vaccines save lives; fear endangers them. It’s a simple message parents need to keep hearing.” – Jeffrey Kluge
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Young Parents’ Corner
CARING FOR YOUR CHILD’S ‘Visit to the dentist’ – these words bring dread to the minds of most adults. But this perception need not be passed on to our children. With the right guidance from dentists, if parents give timely and appropriate care to children’s teeth, they will grow up with a healthy attitude towards dental care. Read on
Dr. Tapan Satish Yeolekar is a consulting pedodontist. He has authored papers in various national and international scientific journals. Dr. Tapan was nominated for ‘Best Specialist Dentist of the Year 2016’ at the prestigious Famdent awards, considered to be the ‘Dental Oscars’. He is a part of the executive committee of Indian Dental Association.
Milk teeth or primary teeth are of immense importance as they perform the same function as permanent teeth until they erupt
What are milk teeth?
We humans are blessed with two sets of teeth – milk teeth and permanent teeth. Milk teeth are so called because they resemble the colour of milk i.e refractive index of milk is similar to primary teeth or milk teeth. They are 20 in number. Teething in children starts around six months of age and is completed by around three years with eruption of all 20 milk 36
January - February 2017
teeth. The first teeth to erupt are the lower incisors. Milk teeth are precursors of permanent teeth because they are placed just below permanent teeth. Permanent teeth start erupting around six years of age and completely erupt by the age of 12-13 years.
Sometimes teeth can be present at birth; such teeth are called natal teeth whereas which erupt soon after a month are called as neonatal teeth. Natal or neonatal teeth can pose a few problems such as injury to child’s lip or to the mother while feeding. Such problems should be immediately reported to a paediatric dentist.
Making Sense of Adolescence
Teenagers and Mental Health
Unlike adults, teens with depression may not necessarily appear sad; irritability, anger and agitation are more common.
Health is the fundamental building block to the overall well being of a child. Mental wellness especially, is an area where there can be no neglect or compromise. Parents should be watchful and intervene at the right time. Read on.
Shobhika Jaju is a psychotherapist and counsellor with a master’s degree in clinical psychology. She also facilitates workshops on topics promoting personal enhancement and spreading mental health awareness. She is affiliated to the American Psychological Association, Bombay Psychological Association, Goa Psychological Association & the Movement for Global Mental Health.
Depression Depression among children and adolescents is a reality. However, unfortunately, most of the times when a teenager shows signs of depression, we adults tend to put it down to the teen being moody or the pubertal hormones taking control. In the context of increasing suicide attempts by people in the age group of 15-24, it is time to wake up and accept that teen depression is very much a part of the world we are living in right now and what’s more, it can happen to anyone anytime. Just like adults, teens face a lot of pressures from the world around them. They have many issues – changes that puberty brings, discovering their identity and so on. Teenagers are also overwhelmed with the choices that they have to make. Although it is not very easy to differentiate between mood swings and depression in teens, it is important not to ignore extreme mood changes in your teen. Depression is a real problem that impacts every aspect of a teen’s life. If you have an adolescent in your life, it is imperative that you become familiar with what teen depression is like. Unlike adults, teens with depression may not necessarily appear sad; irritability, anger and agitation are more common. Some other prominent early signs of depression in teens are: tearfulness or frequent crying, withdrawal from friends, family, and academics, changes in eating and sleeping habits, feelings of worthlessness and guilt, fatigue or lack of energy, thoughts of suicide or death among others.
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